Cult Following

by Bexy Cameron

Devastatingly moving, brilliantly inspiring and utterly unforgettable, Cult Following is a searing memoir of survival, love and transformation.

Bexy Cameron was in her late twenties then the dark events of her past finally caught up with her.

Bexy was born into the Children of God, one of the world's most notorious cults. She was 9 years old when she experienced her first exorcism, held in a secret commune deep in the British countryside. At 10, she was placed on Silence Restriction, forced to be silent for a whole year. Even from an early age, she knew what was happening was not right. At the age of 15, she escaped, leaving behind her parents and 11 siblings.

Haunted by her past, Bexy set off on a road trip across America, embedding herself in the underbelly of religious cults, living with children who, like her, are born into the worlds their parents and cult leaders have created for them.

It is a journey of meth cooks, monks, Jesus Freaks, soap-making Armageddonists, surveillance vans and finally, confronting her parents and herself.

Genres: Nonfiction, Cults, Memoir, True Crime, Religion, Audiobook, Biography Memoir

390 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2021

Reviews

[Baba · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bexy shares the compelling, disturbing and above all truly inspirational and honest stories, a story of being born and raised in the notorious Children of God ("sex cult"), her story of escape and her current story of 'Cult Following', looking to make a documentary on cults by visiting and filming them from within!

As revealing, shocking and mostly heart-breaking Bexy's life in the cult was, her perspective of telling her true and real story more nods to the idea that no matter where we are we tend to relish the highs as much as suffering the lows. This is why I am a fan and strong supporter of big government, because whenever people get together to mange their own lives outside the 'norm' child abuse, misogyny and psychological (and often physical) violence tends to follow.

The idea of telling this story through the lens of a 'cult following' look at a number of cults as a global filmmaker is genius, and takes Bexy (and I the reader) on a journey through reliving and assessing the trauma of her childhood. It goes without saying that this memoir is choc full of obvious triggers, but this is all real and truly happened. I would go on to say that this is one of the most important and essential memoirs ever written. 9 out of 12, Four Star read.

2023 read

[Johann (jobis89) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars. Really interesting cult book about a woman who used to be part of the Children of God!

[Lucy Topping · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall it was an interesting read, and one that I can only imagine must have been incredibly hard for Cameron to write.

For me personally, I’m not sure the interwoven narrative around other cults was necessarily needed, I think her own personal story alone was compelling enough. I would have liked her own narrative to have covered a bit more ground, and have found out more about how her siblings and Maria developed their own lives after leaving the Children of God.

I think it also left a lot unanswered about her parents, and their situation, whether they remained in the cult to this day / their own stories since Bexy left.

It was an interesting read, but I would’ve enjoyed a little more of a deep dive into certain elements, which were left unexplained to a degree.

[Ophelia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t want to write some sort of salacious review of this book because, as I had to keep checking, this is non-fiction and consequently someone’s life.

Bexy Cameron, through her parents choice, was a member of the Children of God cult, and managed to escape and in doing so was ostracised by her parents. This is her story.

What makes this book standout for me is not just the very well written biography but Bexy then went on to try to uncover and report on other cults around the world and attempt to uncover if they were as dangerous and damaging to children.

A standout book.

[kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

heart wrenching, disturbing and superbly written.

bexy’s story was so readable and addictive that I kept having to remind myself that this was in fact, non-fiction and not some terrifying made up plot.

whilst I wish it had gone into a little more depth at times, overall this was an insightful and enlightening, memoir I won’t be forgetting anytime soon.

TW: child abuse (mental, emotional, physical and sexual), domestic violence, sexual assault, rape, pedophilia

[Zane B. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mani fascinē dažādi reliģiski kulti un to mehānisms, kā arī šo kultu līderi ar savu harzmātisko personību, kas pievilina un notur savus sekotājus. Pēc grāmatas izlasīšanas, es biju šokā, ka tādi kulti kā Dieva Bērni, un citi, ir spējuši visā pasaulē tik ilgi eksistēt un savas pastāvēšanas dēl aiz sevis ir atsājušas tik daudz salauztas dzīves. Es joprojām nesaprotu kā šadas organizācijas turpina eksistēt mūsdienās, un, vai tiešām nekur pasaulē neviena tiesa nevar aizsargāt šo kultu darbību, un sankcionēt šos kultu līderus, kas izmanto savus sekotāju viņus eksplotējot un ļaunprātīgi izmantojot.

Izskaidrojoša un saistoša lasāmviela no vāka līdz vākam, varbūt nedaudz haotisks rakstības stils, taču tas dod lasītajam iespēju noturēt uzmanību visu lasīšanas laiku.

[Katie Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are a couple of things I needed to forgive when reading this. One was the somewhat lack of coherence. At times, as Cameron moves through timelines, she is assumptive that we have followed her emotional arc. She is emotionally 3 steps ahead in her narrative whilst we are slightly confusedly playing catch up. But I suspect this is her personality and that she needed a better edit. So I did forgive this. Secondly, that her cinematic view of the world (and she is very visual) speaks to me, as someone still telling fairy tales to herself about a difficult reality. At times it made me cringe, the cool visual references narrating the ways, that in fact, she creates a mystique out of what is actually scary, or painful. And here, I realise I see my own younger self. This is what she did to survive, cool girls are constructs just as much as any other person who has been traumatised. What is there here really, to forgive?
Cameron does a good job of telling her story, her way, with the tools she has now. It is compelling. It must have been harder to work out what to leave out, than what to put in. So much material she may be writing this story her whole life time and still never tell it all. I hope she continues to grow and evolve and keeps putting stories on the page.

[Christie Bane · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was definitely an interesting book. The author grew up in a cult (Children of God) and escaped at the age of 15, then went on to make a life outside of the cult. But she wasn’t really able to break away. As a young adult, she was drawn back to the subject of cults, and made a documentary on them. That brought back all her childhood traumas. By the end of the book she was able to get some closure with her parents who had allowed all of the terrible things that were done to her. This was a pretty shocking book, but a little slow at times.

[Ieva · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jau sen gribēju izlasīt šo grāmatu, jo ieinteresēja autores piedzīvotais “seksa kultā”. Grāmata diemžēl neataisnoja cerības. Nepatika, ka kopā tika savīti autores memuāri par bērnības pārdzīvojumiem ar dokumentālās filmas veidošanu, apbraukājot ASV reliģiskos kultus. Tomēr bija interesanti lasīt, cik cilvēki aprobežoti sekoja reliģisko kulta līderu paustajiem statūtiem, bērniem uzspiežot šādu dzīves veidu.

[Ieva Strazdiņa [mrs.lasitaja] · Rating 3 out of 5]

Beksija Kamerona piedzima kultā “Dieva bērni”, kur Dieva mīlestība izpaudās caur seksu, ģimenes sievietei pārdot savu ķermeni, lai uzturētu kultu bija absolūti pieņemami un pat ikdienišķi, bērnu seksuāla izmantošana un emocionāla un fiziska vardarbība nebija nekas neparasts. Kultā visi gatavojās Laiku Beigām un bērni kultā tika gatavoti lielajam ticības karam. Izklausās pēc distopijas? Tomēr tā bija un visticamāk arī ir ikdiena tiem, kuri iesaistījušies kultā “Dieva bērni” (angliski “The children of God”, kas šobrīd mainījis nosaukumu uz “The Family International”).

No kulta aizgājušie šo dēvē par elli zemes virsū un Beksija bija viena no tiem, kam kultā notiekošais šķita nepieņemams un viņa no tā aizbēga 16 gadu vecumā. Ar laiku no kulta devās prom viņas brāļi un māsas (tā kā kontracepcija kultā tika stingri aizliegta, to viņai ir daudz). Aiziešana no kulta nepavēra durvis uz saulainu nākotni, jo Beksija nemācēja pasauli – viņa bija uzaugusi neprātīgā vidē, kas veidoja greizu priekšstatu, kas ir pareizi un kas – nē. Ceļš brīvībā bijis grubuļains, bet to no grāmatas var tikai nojaust – par to autore runā maz. Galvenokārt autore stāsta par kultu rašanas vēsturi un kā pagātnes dēmonu vajāta viņa nolemj doties dažādiem kultiem pa pēdām un saprast tur notiekošo. Paralēli šai sižeta līnijai autore stāsta par savu bērnību kultā. Un šeit gribu apstāties, jo, manuprāt, grāmata (un arī lasītāji) būtu ieguvusi daudz vairāk, ja autore būtu pilnībā izstāstījusi savu stāstu – visu, kas notika kultā, kā bija uzsākt dzīvi ārpus kulta, kā viņai izdevās no tā izdabūt savus brāļus un māsas – kāda izvērtusies viņu dzīve un galu galā, kā viņa nonāca līdz tam, ka jādodas citiem kultiem pa pēdām. Jo veidā kā grāmata ir uzrakstīta man visa kā bija par daudz un stāstījums šķita saraustīts, tādēļ arī sākumā bija diezgan grūti ielasīties.

Savā ziņā šim stāstam var vilkt paralēles ar Vestoveras “Izglītotā”, tomēr šī grāmata mani emocionāli uzrunāja daudz spēcīgāk. Šajā grāmatā bija sajūta, ka autore nav spējusi izšķirties–šis būs dokumentāls vēstījums vai personīgi memuāri,taču beigas gan šķita aizkustinošas.

[Bec · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I want you to know that I now have a life that I never, ever dreamed was possible as a kid. I have happiness and joy beyond my wildest imaginations”

Bexy Cameron was born into The Children of God, one of the most notorious cults. At 9 her family are shipped off the British country wise to start over.

At 10 she spent a whole year in silent reflection, no talking or eye contact to be made with anyone and she was completely isolated from her friends and family while being in a thriving commune. The neglect and damage this punishment had on Bexy was horrific.

Bexy struggles knowing what’s happening is not right however being a child under the children of god leadership she is completely helpless. By 15 she’s escaped and leaves everyone and everything behind.

Blended in with her childhood retelling we also see where Bexy has been after leaving. Her road trip across America gathering information and insights of religious cults. Sparking investigations into the unimaginable illegal things that happen behind closed doors.

I’m an absolute sucker for anything including a cult and really enjoyed the learning about Cameron’s life and her transformation into the strong woman she is today. There’s a brilliant interview on YouTube by @audible_uk that I highly recommend watching after reading.

[Christine · Rating 2 out of 5]

Listened to about 2 hours. The language was very descriptive which I'm sure many readers love, but I'm not one of them.
I wasn't so interested in her exploration of other cults and when it started going into that is when I stopped.

[Joy · Rating 3 out of 5]

The writing is a bit clunky/cliché at times, but this is definitely an interesting story. Obviously, I think joining a bunch of cults is extremely inadvisable especially if you're a cult survivor (cult hopping is A Thing), but hey it's done now.

[Emily LaDigue · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting but left too many things unanswered and often brought up topics or people or alluded to events without ever following up/ explaining.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bexy Cameron was born into the Children of God. Her parents became deeply entrenched in the cult in college and later became the British spokespeople for the cult. Prior to becoming the spokespeople for the cult, Bexy's family would move from country to country and later from home to home within the UK, as their homes (inhabited by multiple families within the cult) were discovered by either prying eyes of the public or members of the press.

The cult's leader sent his weekly musings out to his following, which involved harmful practices towards women and children. At 10, Bexy was placed on Silence Restriction, forced to be silent for a whole year. At the age of 15, she was lucky to escape, leaving behind her parents and 11 siblings.

As an adult, Bexy never healed from her past nor from the harm her parents' beliefs and lifestyle had on her and her siblings. She embarked on a road trip across America, visiting various religious cults.

I didn't know anything about the Children of God cult prior to reading this book and I learned a lot about it. Thankfully, Bexy and her family were spared the worst that the cult had to offer, mostly because of their family structure and I'm assuming because of their family values or her mother's influence. In a way, I was glad I wasn't getting the most harrowing version of this cult because it would have been too painful and I would have skipped over parts.

I was not interested in Bexy's visiting of the other cults, only her personal story. When she confronted her parents at the end of the book, I don't think she got the answers she was looking for, especially from her father, but I think she realized that her healing couldn't be contingent on what her parents could give her.

[Deirdre Clancy · Rating 4 out of 5]

At 14-15, I thought of the '60s and early '70s as extremely benign. This time period consisted, in my childish mind, of ultra-creative iconoclasts who changed our culture. It was the best time to have come of age. Being born too late to have experienced it was an injustice I felt keenly, as I went to Indian boutiques in town to buy long flowy skirts and second-hand shops for clothing with tassels. I could dress as if I was from that part of the 20th century, if nothing else, went my reasoning.

Of course, this was a phase I realised a couple of years later was naive. What I had thought of as the '60s and early '70s really comprised a few fascinating cultural moments and figures that were only one small part of the tapestry of the time period. Some of this romanticizing of that time may have come from being a generation Xer whose parents were not baby boomers, but the silent generation. College contemporaries whose parents had record collections comprising all of Woodstock's most famous performers and beyond were not particuarly fussed about the '60s. In fact, some of them were downright cynical.

As time went on I started to realise there was a darker side to this time. This includes many of the new religious movements and cults that sprung up, with those who were predisposed to lead them (often chronic narcissists or sociopaths), such as Charles Manson, spotting a major gap in the market. Thousands of religious groups formed, taking advantage of the huge numbers of young dropouts who had rejected their parents' expectations and ideologies, who were often ripe for grooming and too naive and/or arrogant to do anything but throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Most probably, not all of these groups could be classed as cults, but the Children of God definitely could. Experts have long recognized specific characteristics that can reliably define groups as cults. They are generally highly autocratic and use well-known tactics such as extreme gaslighting, sleep deprivation, and overwork to keep people in line. They tend to follow the personal preferences of their leader or founder, which can be idiosyncratic or downright corrupt, but for the purposes of the cult, are turned into sacred practices.

During my 20s, cults tried to recruit me with worrying regularity on the streets of Dublin. Loathe as I was to admit it at the time, my Catholic education came in handy. In the '70s and '80s, there was worry about the Moonies in particular, so education about cults and how they pulled people in was provided in schools and at retreats.

I'd heard the warnings so many times that I would know on sight when a person approaching me with a smile was going to try to recruit me to a cult. The smiles were usually a bit too vacuous and the tone a bit too familiar. I suppose something open in my face at the time said 'easy pickings', so it was enjoyable to surprise them by saying something like 'So, what's your group's take on theodicy?' It made more than a few International Church of Christ members angry to be asked to describe their beliefs in even a small bit of depth. After a while, I got bored with fruitless discussions, and just avoided their advances. Interested as I was in theology, generally these recruiters simply didn't know what they really believed or why they had somehow decided they were the chosen ones over all other groups. All they knew was that I should 'come to a meeting' to be love-bombed, and then understanding would inevitably follow (I never did, so it didn't).

I saw some highly disturbing, recent documentaries on Children of God (now re-branded as The Family International) before reading this book, so I knew that David Berg, the Children of God founder, was essentially a man who spent his time trying to normalize the extreme degradation of women and sexualization of children for his own pleasure. He was a known abuser of children; many women in the cult were instructed for a number of years to be 'prostitutes for Jesus' and became sex workers to make money to support the communes. There have been various court cases related to the paedophiles who inevitably were drawn to the cult and given free reign. Of the children born into the cult who manage to escape, a shocking 30% end up taking their own lives. Without any education to draw on, many of the young women who have left have relied on sex work to survive.

Bexy Cameron is a strong and fascinating woman. In this book, she details not only her time growing up in Children of God, but also her quest to understand more about new religious movements by going on a road trip in the U.S. and staying in some communities. Both narratives are fascinating in their own ways, though there is a constant sense of my wondering why she would put herself through all of these triggering experiences with further cults after the upbringing she has escaped. She explains at one point that her therapist has told her this is a normal reaction to the constant trauma she was subjected to as a child. She lived off adrenaline, cortisol, and dopamine rushes growing up, moving around constantly to avoid detection from the authorities, watching her every move to avoid violent punishment in the cult, and needs to take risks in order to feel that rush again.

This is both a depressing and uplifting read, yet I also had the sense that there were probably vital parts of the story that weren't being told. This is understandable, but it left me with questions. I would like to read more about Cameron's own life and how she put it together after being thrown out on the street at 15 (amazingly, with the agreement of her parents) for secretly taking a job in the outside world. Did she have somebody she could rely on or was she at the mercy of predators for a while, as she seems to hint? At the risk of descending into cliche, this really is a tale of massive resilience and very definitely a worthwhile read, despite the strong sense that there is a lot more to the tale that remains unsaid.

[Ms Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

The thing that stands out to me about Bexy is her strength - the strength to challenge and reject the stuff that was fed to her at such a young age and her strength to escape.

It was interesting to read her experiences visiting other cults and I understand the necessity that she did this as part of her healing process. However, I enjoyed reading about her childhood experiences more.

Anyone interested in the effects of extremist religion should find this a worthwhile read. As a young person who was brought up in the seventies and early eighties I can recall the lively draw of some religious groups (not in terms of cults but Christianity with black and white fundamentalist interpretations of the Bible.) They were friendly and young people felt included. This black and white approach to religion, however, can lead to anxiety about questioning those beliefs. For Bexy to be brought up in a cult with such extreme and distorted beliefs, and to not have protection and a feeling of love from her parents, could have destroyed her individuality and inner strength. I commend her for her courage.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very interesting read! Firstly, I found the writing style so engaging and right from the first page. Everything just flowed. I was interested in reading Bexy's story to learn about someone who was born into a cult and what the level of culture shock was experienced as they found their path and own thoughts. I certainly learned more about the human spirit and resilience but also the horrors of religious fanatics! Very thought provoking.

[Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author grew up in the cult Children of God before managing to escape at the age of 15. As an adult many years later she decides to face up to her past by investigating various cults to try and identify whether they're a good or bad thing. This is part memoir, part investigative journalism and part travelogue. Wholly interesting although disturbing at times.

[Elina Dlohi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Šokējoša grāmata, kurai prasās vēl turpinājums kā Beksija dzīvo šobrīd, ka piedeva un tika šim pāri.

" augsts adrenalīna līmenis Jūsu gadījumā ir normāls. Citiem no tā ir stress. Jūs gluži vai ilgojaties pēc tā. Tā tas ir ar bērniem, kuri uzaugušo briesmās un būdami pieauguši, daudzi no viņi mēa attapties līdzīgās - briesmu- situācijās"

[Lu · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[alice · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Karen Pratt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audio book

I enjoyed this book finding out about cults based in America but sometimes small groups move to this country.
Author and narrator was bought up in a religious cult and it was her experiences as a child and the impact on adult life when she was able to escape.

[Daisysbookmusings · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is a security in knowing such horrendous events happened in the past. Time acts as a safety blanket in which we believe there will be lessons learnt and wounds both mental and physical will be healed.

Cult following courageously showed in painful detail how that is not the case; how power and loneliness can create a deadly combination that literally destroys lives. It is common to feel like an outsider, to grow up and be angry at your parents, your school, friends, chores, political leaders etc. However, that same feeling of loneliness is also rife in a commune that is supposed to be full of love and compassion. How could one feel lonely if they are surrounded by so many people? If they are supposedly loved by them all, unconditionally…

It has taught me a lot about the nature of trauma in children and how it manifests into ‘well behaved’ children which is the opposite of what a child should be. Yes, it may make an outing to a restaurant easier to enjoy but it stifles the child leaving them with an unfulfilled desire for validation, for love, to be accepted.

It’s made me consider my own needs for validation and in what forms they manifest, how the same need is desired by those around me and how it can quickly go from harmless to harmful in unsuspecting hands.

Ultimately Cult Following is a fascinating story, the fact this is a memoir and not a work of fiction has to put it mildly been at times hard to process. The unbelievable amount of courage and curiosity it must have taken to rebel, leave, confront and forgive her past is something I am in complete awe of. Bexy Cameron is a real-world superhero for her sheer love, generosity and courage it has taken her to carve a life for herself despite her origins. The protectiveness she feels for those around her, especially the children in the multiple cults she visits warmed my heart and left me feeling devastated for the children who are alive right now living in these systems.

I have laughed, cried and gasped at this book, it is tender to the point of leaving me with a burning desire to hug her past self and tear down the walls of a home where a silence restriction or exorcism on a child can even be considered.

It is marvellous and I will forever be in awe of Cameron.

[N · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've read a lot of cult memoirs and, honestly, they tend to be pretty boring. Why? Because being in a cult sounds pretty boring. There are moments of abject horror, seemingly, but most of the experience is swathed in banality.

I found it smart, then, that Bexy Cameron chose to intercut her memoir of her own cult upbringing (in the Children of God) with journalistic stories of other cults. Indeed, if Cameron were a better journalist and this book had been more tightly edited, it might have been fantastic. As is ... it's a bit of a mess.

Cameron only visits three or four cults and she never really shapes her experiences there into anything that provokes more of a "huh, okay" reaction. Her own recollections of the Children of God are more compelling, but they do slide into the usual cult-memoir territory of being a wee bit boring. (I jacked the audiobook up to 2x speed by the end and the pace still felt slow.)

In terms of the style, Cameron's writing leans heavily on sensuous descriptions and purple prose. (The ayahuasca chapter is just as bad as you think it's gonna be.) All this 'I'm a writerrrr, watch me wriiiiite' energy seems to come at the expense of real emotion. Cameron's audiobook narration is similarly flat; I struggled to feel much of anything while I was listening.

"The documentary, the documentary, the documentary!!!!" Cameron frames the book as she and her friend are making a documentary about cults. Except then her friend is jettisoned halfway through, and to my knowledge, the documentary was never completed. Why the hell do I need to read so much about this damn documentary?

IDK, man. I'm glad Cameron got out of the cult; I'm glad she chose to share her story. But it feels like she didn't have the skills to make any of these experiences into a book.

[Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

Over the last few years, It is safe to say that I have binged watched or read a great deal about cults both fictional and real. Maybe this has been spurred on by the recent slew of documentaries coming on just about every streaming service going. And I do wonder what our fascination with this topic is. Maybe in part, it is our insatiable quest to learn the horrific and gruesome details. We sit in our safe little homes wondering how and why people put themselves into these situations. So then maybe for some, it is a deep wanting to understand how these cults a rise and why people are willing to give themselves completely over to the deranged whims of their leaders. We sit and silently judge these people for the decisions they have made. And question why is it that so many of these cult seems to end up in child abuse. I do sometimes wonder what this says about us all that we are willing to devote some of our time to learn about such things.

I knew nothing about Bexy Cameron before I came across this book. I did however know of the cult her parents had brought them into. The Children of God is a name that has gone down in infamy. Even those who have no interest in such a topic have a vague knowledge of the name. It is after all still cropping up in the news to this day. In part, this may be down to some very famous people now who were members when they were kids. Or it is just as likely that its sins still seemed to be spilling out long after it should have been closed down and relegated to the past. Nevertheless, I now find myself in the company of Miss Cameron and starting her journey not only in how she came to be in The Children of God but also in the path to living a life after it. For me, this is in part what sets it apart from others of its ilk.

If you are looking for a book that is full of disturbing facts and salacious stories I don't think this is going to be that book for you. The author takes to her narrative with a tender and caring touch. She wants us to understand all she has been through. But she doesn't feel like she is trying to draw sympathy from us for the sake of sales. She leads us through her time in the cult but is inter-spliced with where she finds herself now. We also get to dip into a few of the cults that are currently active as she visits them. It feels like this slightly weird dark tourism but does at least give us some context for what's going on with some of the more prominent other cults. It is after all I would imagine another form of healing. This need to find a way to live your life with the trauma that has come before. What she then gives us is a fascinating book without the need to sensationalize her story.

Cult Following was a book that didn't necessarily go where I thought it was going to. But I have to say that it was one that I greatly enjoyed. I feel like we got to know her and rather than just focusing on what happened within the cult. It helps to make this book stand out in the plethora of books that have come out in the last year or so.

[Jenny Cooper · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bexy’s parents were signed-up members of the Children of God, a notorious cult which attracted its fair share of both media and police attention in its hayday. Bexy was one of eleven siblings and she grew up in the cult, only leaving when she was 15. A decade later and she still has unresolved issues surrounding her childhood. She sets off on a road trip to visit other cults, and immerse herself in them. This venture has the dual aim of trying to find some personal closure as well as making a documentary about children growing up in these environments.

This is a fascinating insight into everyday life inside a cult. Despite some orientation problems at the start of the book I have to say that the more I read, the more compelling I found it.

However, I found both the writing style and the structure somewhat chaotic. This made it both difficult and confusing to read at times. In fact, at the start of the book it was so muddled that I nearly gave up.
The thing that I found most baffling was the sexual child abuse allegations which were targeted at both the Children of God and most (if not all) of the other cults which she visited. Bexy herself seemed in no doubt that these were true, and made them the main focal point of her later investigations yet, as far as I could tell, despite 15 years living in the “family” of the Children of God, she neither experienced nor witnessed anything of the sort.
I did feel that the book lost its way a little by trying to be both a memoir of Bexy’s early years, chronicling her life as a child growing up in a cult, whilst also trying to research other cults that were in existence when she was an adult. Both would have been quite interesting in themselves but, for me, the combination didn’t quite work.
The fourth star was a little reluctant – I think I would really rate it 3.5.

I would recommend this book to anyone who has an interest in cults. For a wider audience I am not sure how interesting it will be. But I should say that the online reviews are generally much more positive than mine.

[Rosalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a brave and challenging book for Bexy Cameron to write and to read. Her journey from the Children of God (CoG) was difficult and heartbreaking and yet there is no sense of “Woe is me.” She tells her story with passion and clarity that shows her strength and own personal journey. The way that she uses flashbacks to the CoG and then to the present was a bit disconcerting at first, however it makes sense as the book progresses. Bexy Cameron doesn’t go into great detail about the abuses in the CoG, but there is enough for us to feel the pain and helplessness of the children and women who were abused.
Bexy Cameron’s own story is interwoven with the 2 documentaries that she makes on other cults. While these cults may appear to be different from the CoG and each other, if you scratch under the surface they are not. The abuse of the children and women, emotional physical, sexual, and psychological is a common feature of many of these cults, leaving scars that go deep as Bexy Cameron tells of her own issues. Most of them are “End of Days” or Armageddon cults and live apart from mainstream society.
This is the fourth book that I have read about the CoG cult and I think it is the most powerful. Bexy Cameron in sharing her story and the stories of other cult survivors gives us a look into another very nasty world. We, as a society, must continue our vigilance with religious cults, because they are mostly a front for psychopaths to have total control over a group of people.
One issue that I struggle with is how supposedly “good” people can allow (and often participate in) these abuses to occur. I can understand a charismatic psychopath leader convincing people to join the cult and to love and follow Jesus, but to continue these abuses year after year just beggars belief.
I wish Bexy all the best and hope that she has found some peace and happiness.

[Caitlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

When looking for books to fulfill my cult category, I was excited to see two books that shared the same title. This would work to fulfill two other categories, while still allowing me to read another book about cults. I find them absolutely fascinating so the more I get to read the better. “Cult Following: My Escape and Return to the Children of God” by Bexy Cameron was the next up on the list.

This book was written by Bexy Cameron, who was born into and raised in the cult Children of God. This was a well-known and horrific cult started by David Berg, who would later go by many different names. The book goes back-and-forth between her time and the cult and then her time afterwards. After leaving the cult, she’s worked through much of her trauma and travels around to make a documentary About different cults. One of her main focuses is to determine whether or not the children in these cults are safe.

The book is enlightening and heartbreaking all at the same time the amount of courage it took to write this book and relive. Everything she went through is beyond amazing. It was a wonderful find that I might never have discovered. If you are interested in colts, and can handle reading about the trauma that they put people through, I highly suggest this book. Though there are some areas that can be triggering, she does a good job of not telling everything that happens.

My rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ⭐️
Goodreads: 3.99
PopSugar Category: Two Books with the Same Title #2
Pages: 404

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[Philologus et libri · Rating 3 out of 5]

Beksija Kamerona romānā "Kulta pēdās"  apraksta savu pieredzi, kas kalpo kā memuāri, atspoguļojot reliģisko sektu un to pārspīlētu pielūgšanu, tikai pašu saprotamu, nozīmīgu, svarīgu dievināšanu.

Autore apraksta, kāda ir kulta iekšējā pasaule, bērna un pieaugušo bezvārda pakļaušanās dogmai, kā tā ietekmē cilvēkus tajā, atklājot viņu pamatvajadzības, piederības un mērķa sajūtu, un kā garīgas traumas var palīdzēt dziedēt mūs, iespējams, izvēloties, kad un kā ar to tikt galā, un kad pati trauma izlemj to cilvēka vietā:

"Tev jātiek galā ar sūdiem... pirms tie tiek galā ar tevi."

Autore ironizē, ka šāda vieta kā kults, ir ideāli līdzsvarota pasaule, kas kalpo cilvēkam kā vieta, kur domas raisās labāk un skaidrāk, lai gan tie ir meli. Mūžīgā pārcelšanās un nepastāvīgais dzīvesveids ieved citā emociju pasaulē - bailēs par savu drošību, nemieru, pastāvīgu stresa stāvokli un esošo eksistenciālo krīzi, kā arī identitātes zaudēšanu, kad vēlamo uzdod par esošo, aizbildinoties, ka paaudze, kurā uzaugusi Beksija ir tikai bezbailīga, dumpīga, lecīga un bez sirdsapziņas pārmetumiem. Skatoties uz notikušo, autore nonāk pie secinājuma, ka tā tomēr ir traumēta, pastulba un nožēlojama.

Smadzeņu skalošana, vardarbība, bērnu izmantošana un noslēpumainības aura, kas ir tik būtiska, lai saglabātu sekotāju ticību. Pazemošanas un piespiešana atzīt sevi par vienu no "viņiem", liek uzdot jautājumu par to, kāda vispār ir dzīves jēga un kā atrast, iespējams, labāku ceļu, lai izkļūtu no ilgstošas uzspiestas patiesības, ko uzskata par nemaldīgu, un kurai nešaubīgi jātic.