If You Ask Me

by Libby Hubscher

When an advice columnist’s picture-perfect life implodes, she opts to go rogue in this hilarious, heartwarming romance from the author of Meet Me in Paradise.

Violet Covington pens Dear Sweetie, the most popular advice column in the state of North Carolina. She has an answer for how to politely handle any difficult situation…until she discovers her husband, Sam, has been cheating on her. Furious and out of sensible solutions, Violet leaves her filter at the door and turns to her column to air her own frustrations. The new, brutally honest Dear Sweetie goes viral, sending more shock waves through Violet’s life. When she burns Sam’s belongings in a front-yard, late-night bonfire, a smoking-hot firefighter named Dez shows up to douse the flames, and an unexpected fling quickly shows potential to become something longer lasting.

A lot of people want to see the old polished Violet return—including her boss, who finds her unpredictability hard to manage, and Sam, who’s begging for another chance. But Dez appreciates Violet just the way she is—in fact, he can’t get enough of her. The right answers don’t come easily when Violet finds herself at her own personal crossroads. But maybe, by getting real, Violet can write her own happy ending.

Genres: Romance, Contemporary, Contemporary Romance, Fiction, Chick Lit, Adult, Audiobook

368 pages, Paperback

First published March 8, 2022

About the author

Libby Hubscher is an author and scientist. She studied biology at Bowdoin College in Brunswick, Maine and holds a doctor of philosophy in molecular toxicology from North Carolina State University. Her work has appeared online and in textbooks, scientific journals, and literary journals. Her short story “The Unwelcome Guest” was long-listed for the Wigleaf Top 50 in 2018. She lives in North Carolina with her husband, two young children, and a menagerie of pets.

Reviews

[MarilynW · Rating 4 out of 5]

If You Ask Me by Libby Hubscher

When Violet Covington's life blows up on her she has a bonfire of her husband's favorite things in the middle of her neighborhood cul de sac. Enter, Dez, an almost too perfect to be true fireman, to put out the fire in the cul de sac while he lights a kindle of interest in Violet's heart. How can a stranger be so nice and caring when her husband is such a critical buffoon and makes her think she is incapable of doing anything right?

Before the story starts, the author has a list of trigger warnings: infertility, miscarriage, anxiety, infidelity, and alcohol abuse. The story has friends, family, and a closed door romance and from the TW's you can see that it touches on some serious issues. It has it's funny parts, too, even when dealing with heartache and trauma.

Violet is secretly Dear Sweetie, the author of the most popular advice column in the state of North Carolina. Her column is well read but has been tame to this point. Now, once her life falls to shambles, with the help of alcohol, Violet goes scorched earth, literally in her cul de sac and figuratively in her column. She says things she'd never say if she were sober. After all, her husband always told her she was a messy drunk. He also told her a lot of other things, how to dress, how to act, all her faults listed so that she wouldn't do anything he didn't like. Her favorite anything usually fit well on his "do not do, so not wear, do not enjoy" list.

Even as Violet torches other parts of her life, often with the help of alcohol to bring down her "good taste" barriers, Dez is there for her. It's so easy for her to be around Dez and he'll be around her as much as she will allow. But Violet has too much to fix about herself and her life, especially since her husband has convinced her that she's the problem in almost any situation.

We get to know a lot of what Violet is thinking and learning through the answers she pens to questions in her column...she even makes up some questions to get some answers out into the public although, once again, drunk writing, just like her other drunken escapades, seems to backfire on her, taking collateral damage. And, she knows that Dez would be perfect for her, but she also knows she'd destroy his life just like everything else she has destroyed. Can she be happy when she feels like she has to give up everything she wants?

Pub: March 8th

Thank you to Elisha at Berkley and NetGalley for this ARC.

[Nilufer Ozmekik · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hmm! Well, another book gave me complex feelings! At first I found this book a little light, but after few chapters later it surely picked my interest.

After being introduced to our main character Violet without having extra time to connect with her, we witness her personal drama: she goes to home earlier to surprise her husband with homemade sushi but her husband acts faster to shock her by turning himself a human burrito by wrapping up with their neighbor Shelby on their own bed!

Yes, the book starts like semi-entertaining romcom that cheater scumbag Sam dares to say he’s going to take his chances with girl next door! Boo!
And Violet rightfully gets violent enough to gather his belongings and put them on fire at the backyard to enjoy her own early 4th bonfire party! She’s lucky enough to be saved by hot as hell and sweet like Levain Bakery chocolate chip cookies fireman Dez. That sweet guy truly takes care of her and it seems like it’s fire at first between them promising a good near future chemistry!

And Violet who is also successful columnist, penning most popular column named “Dear Sweetie” decides to make things a little bitter. When she is too drunk and too furious to her husband, she writes harsher and truly realistic answer to one of the woman who wants advise about her husband’s forcing her to endure CrossFit torture!

But interestingly her new mean, harsh, bitter tone alerts the viewers and she gets more popular! In the meantime she acts like everything is all right with her marriage, lying to her own mother, seeing the gorgeous fireman for fling!

At the beginning I though this book is soft, light chic lit with full of cliches but when we learn about scumbag Sam and Violet’s past, we truly learn to care for Violet and want a hire a hitman to get rid of Sam!

Dez is dreamy boyfriend and some parts I truly thought Violet didn’t deserve him but at least she gathers her wits at the end and I liked the character’s evolution, changing into more bold, secure woman who knows what she wants to do with her one and precious life of hers!

I was thinking to give three stars at the beginning but the heartfelt, intense, emotional parts of the book earned one more star!

This is easy to read, enjoyable, thought provoking book. Especially “Dear Sweetie” column parts were well written. Absolutely recommended to feelgood women’s fiction readers!
Special thanks to NetGalley and Berkley Publishing for sharing this digital reviewer copy with me in exchange my honest thoughts.

[Darla · Rating 3 out of 5]

Violet has the best and worst day of her life at the onset of this new novel from Libby Hubscher. Her column, Dear Sweetie, is up for syndication. That's the good news. She heads home early to prepare a celebratory sushi dinner for her husband and discovers he is already home and he is in bed with someone else. Talk about a one-two punch. Understandably, the column goes a bit off the rails while Violet comes to terms with the ending of her marriage. I really enjoyed the epistolary parts of the book as they gave us additional context, helped elaborate on a difficult topic, and gave us insights into Violet's current frame of mind. The letters, for the most part, are compassionate and empathetic. As someone who grew up reading the Ann Landers column, I also appreciated the quote from Ann at the beginning of the book: The naked truth is always better than the best-dressed lie. Unfortunately I did not enjoy this book as much as I did Meet Me in Paradise. In fact, I thought about DNFing this one a few times. There is a preachy tone to the book outside of the columns that was not winsome or inviting. So, no more Libby Hubscher for me. Good thing there are so many more books to enjoy out there.

Thank you to Berkley and NetGalley for a DRC in exchange for an honest review.

[Cassandra · Rating 2 out of 5]

I stopped reading this around 60% of the way through. I hate DNFing ARCs because I want to give it a fair shot but I did not like the main character. I hated that not only did her marriage fall apart and therefore push her life into falling apart but she just becomes so self-destructive and hard to read. I didn't want to see her dig herself into a bigger mess. I know this is probably what a lot of people go through if/when their marriage falls apart, but the problem is that I don't feel a connection with Violet. I didn't know her enough to tolerate or care about this behaviour. Also, Dez was just everywhere all the time.

ALL THE TIME.

Unless these people live in Stars Hollow, I don't see how you've run into him so many times.

Anyways, Violet was careless in her actions. I 100% support burning her cheating husbands clothes. I would love nothing more than to do that if I were in her position. But she felt like some kind of weird hybrid of a pick me girl meets a grieving woman, meets some kind of potential girlboss? It wasn't a mix I liked.

Maybe I'll try again before it gets published but I really can't wrap my head around this character. I was willing to hold out to the end but this disaster she creates with Shelby just wasn't it for me.

Thank you Edelweiss+ and Penguin for the ARC in exchange for an honest review

[Christy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

If You Ask Me was my first Libby Hubscher book and I'll definitely check out more of her work because I enjoyed her writing style. This book was great in so many ways. It had an exceptional hero, dealt with a lot of difficult topics and did so in a sensitive way, and I liked the heroine most of the time. I felt for her, I really did. I could relate to some of what she was going through not the infidelity, but the infertility/miscarriage, but wow she was over the top some of the time. It was really hard for me to connect to her for most of the book because of her over the top behavior, but by the end I really did love her and I definitely rooted for her.

Audio book source: Libby
Story Rating: 3.5 stars
Narrator: Shannon McManus
Narration Rating: 4 stars
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Length:10h 25m

[Carrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

If You Ask Me by Libby Hubscher is a contemporary romance novel. While there is some humor in the story in If You Ask Me there is also some darker topics the author warns about with a trigger warning for infidelity, infertility, miscarriage, anxiety, and alcohol abuse.

Violet Covington has her own secret identity very few know about being the author of the popular advice column, Dear Sweetie. When Violet gets news that her column may get more exposure she can’t wait to share her news with her husband, Sam, and heads home in the middle of the day to see him.

Instead of Violet coming home to celebrate she arrives home to find her husband in bed with a neighbor and her marriage falling apart. Of course this revelation puts Violet in a not so good head space and the bonfire of Sam’s things may not have been such a great idea even though it brought a lovely firefighter, Dez, to her home and her life.

While a rebound relationship story isn’t always my favorite type of romance I took a chance with If You Ask Me by Libby Hubscher and I was glad I did. While the story did tackle some darker subjects it still had it’s lighthearted side and it mixed well with the heartwarming nature of the romance. I think this one probably worked for me as it took it’s time and expanded the story over a longer period than most do so that made me get behind the relationship forming. After finishing I’d definitely return to this author again.

I received an advance copy from the publisher via NetGalley.

For more reviews please visit https://carriesbookreviews.com/

[Ali Hazelwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible book. Libby Hubscher is just so good at writing stories that are both funny and moving--I am IN AWE. I loved reading about Violet's journey and they way she is able to overcome a whole lot of crap, embrace her vulnerability, and figure out that perfection and right answers sometimes just don't exist. And Dez is YUMMY, exactly what she deserves!! 90 stars out of 10, I CANNOT WAIT FOR LIBBY'S NEXT BOOK!!!

Disclosure: I received a free ARC of this book, and Libby and I share a publisher (Berkley).

[Vintage · Rating 4 out of 5]

I adored this at the beginning and still really liked it at the end.

Tmstprc’s review convinced me to try it and yay.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

Hubscher skips some of the dreaded tropes. Yes, the h catches her husband, but neither she nor the reader sees any OW action.

The h proceeds into Angela Bassett’s Waiting to Exhale territory and then backends her MIL’s car. I could have used a little more MIL action because it was really fun.


From there the h tries to navigate the muddy waters of divorce, being an advice columnist, handling a friend's mistake/betrayal when the twain (divorce angst and advice) shall meet, and one of the most insanely sweet and, sadly, purely fictional H’s ever.

I have to keep it at 4 stars as the author should be rewarded for creating such a sweet and supportive hero that rescues his heroine in more ways than one. This cynical reviewer wipes a tiny tear away. Thank goodness for fiction.

[Tmstprc · Rating 4 out of 5]

This has been on my TBR for about a week, I’m not sure where I found it—it may have been a sponsored ad, it doesn’t really matter, but I have no idea why I clicked on something with a cartoon cover, hate them. But, I digress.

Entertaining divorce women’s fiction about an advice columnist that literally and figuratively set her life on fire after finding her husband in their bed with a neighbor.

1. She lights a bonfire of her husband’s crap in their driveway. This brings a new man into her life (one of the firemen sent to put it out.

2. Burns bridges with her entitled witch of a MIL by backing into her MIL’s new Mercedes and then torches a similar MIL in her column.

3. And, then accidentally outs the OW with a column she never planned to post.

Everything goes viral. Now, she’s dealing with notoriety on top of everything else.

The husband eventually wants back. Friendships need fixing. And, the new man is a little too perfect.

4 that’s how to treat a cheater stars.

[Jenny (Reading Envy) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Violet is a popular but anonymous advice columnist for a NC newspaper, until her husband of 12 years leaves her and it ends up in her column. She meets a local firefighter when she lights her ex-husband's prized belongings on fire. I guess ultimately this is a romance but it is also about opening up to other people in general, and what to do instead of seeking revenge.

I learned that firefighter love interests don't work for me, for personal history reasons.

I had a copy from the publisher through Netgalley and it came out March 8th.

[susana ♡ · Rating 2 out of 5]

this is the first time i wished a book didn't have romance

[mia · Rating 2 out of 5]

My mother always said people who work in helping professions are the ones in greatest need of professional help themselves

2.5 ⭐

That is how the book begun and it was what exactly I needed to hear.

THIS IS NOT SPOILER FREE

The FMC, Violet is an advice columnist who was recently given a "promotion" ish so she left work to surprise her husband Sam. But, he was butt naked in bed with another woman which made Violet scream (I wish she had snapped out of it to knock the woman out though) and shut down, hiding in the toilet. It would have been more interesting to see her ripping his balls off though and I think she will get there because she agrees to meet him to talk.

The audacity the bastard has though:

I’m fully in love with her, Violet

I would have dumped the trash on his head. When Violet speaks her mind:

I suppose I don’t know how long this has been going on, since, you know, it’s not really the sort of thing the cheating husband tells the wife

Sam blames her anger on the alcohol. She wasn't the one who had another penis in her? So she tells him to:

Don’t bother coming back

fuck off and leaves.

And in her state of mind, setting fire to Sam's things made total sense to Violet and that's what she did except it resulted in a bonfire and a hot firefighter. The hot firefighter also:

In a low voice, he said, “For what it’s worth, I think you’re going to be just fine, Violet"

consoled Violet and left her in a daze.

It doesn't get better because of all the mail that Violet is asked to answer concerns the same issue as Sam:

Maybe you should have thought of that before you “slipped” out of your clothes and betrayed your marriage

I love how bitchy she is:

Thirty minutes later I’d finished uploading pictures of the entire collection onto eBay

because I'd totally do that to a cheater, he gets none of his own stuff back (but I wouldn't back out and pay for it instead).

I do feel sad for her though because:

Maybe I’d list all my dresses with zippers on eBay next, since they were now impractical reminders of my failing as a wife

and no one should feel this small. Then came our hero, the firefighter whose name we learn is Dez and he appeared because:

I know it’s been a couple of days, but you’ve been on my mind. I guess I wanted to make sure you were okay

and he sure did with croissants and coffee. He was also very considerate to zip up Violet into her dress and give:

My number’s on the to-go-order slip on the bag

his number should she need more zipping up.

Fast forward after a long chat with her boss, Violet went to pick up takeaway and Dez is there, rescuing her again when needed:

People must feel very reassured by you when you show up

but he's so cute because:

He set my barbecue carefully on the passenger seat and put the seatbelt on over it

and he's the type of guy who:

I glanced back once in my rearview mirror as I made my way toward the traffic circle—he was still standing there

please excuse my period hormones because I'm melting.

But cheating bastard's witch mother appeared at Violet's and asked for his belongings which are probably in ashes now because:

We all tried to warn him marrying you was not a good idea. But he just would not listen

maybe you didn't convince him enough??? Who would want trash like that??? After a tiring dinner of hiding Sam's absence from her mom, Violet fell down and pierced her hand with glass so she ends up at the A&E and she met darling firefighter there. Who again, is so considerate to:

I’ll stay. Somebody has to make sure you don’t wreak any havoc on the way home

So he drove her home and went with her into her house to "clear the energy" from the bed she saw Sam and her neighbour in. Except they cleared too much that it broke which landed them in an awkward position and it led to Dez sharing:

It’s not my place to say anything he said, but your husband is a fucking idiot

and even more, a kiss because Violet politely requested for one. Even though Dez had:

I just don’t want to be one of those bad decisions you were talking

about his reservations. I guess 18 chapters is reasonable enough for Violet to start moving on.

Its a repeat of needing help and being rescued between Dez and Violet until one day Cindy a noisy neighbour told Violet off for parading her sins in the neighbourhood, obviously the bitch didn't know the full story. And a screaming Sam on the phone who was angry about 1) she writing about his affair in her advice column and 2) ruining his reputation made her have a panic attack. Of course, Dez is there yet again at the A&E. And yet again he brings her home.

The more they spend time together, the more Violent wants him in. And she gets it because when she woke up:

I wanted to mold myself against him until I no longer existed on my own

but soon enough shuts down when she wrote a fake letter that was supposedly from Sam's side bitch but both her reply and the fake letter got posted somehow. Which made her go on probation and the possible losing of her best friend aka her boss.

The effect of her potentially losing her job also has her try catharsis by putting all of Sam's things outside and talking about the cheating bastard to her mother. And everything falls into place as she finds out who posted those letters.

But soon enough she spirals again when she goes to a Thanksgiving party as Dez's +1 and sees him doing so well with a baby, because she can't have one:

Maybe he loves me, and then he’s holding a baby and . . . you just can’t

And that cheating bastard came back begging for her once she's in a better place career wise because:

Once we get past this rough patch, we can go back to the way we were

before cheating isn't just a rough patch, it was a conscious decision that bastard made. And when Dez pushed her to know if she's in love with him, she chose the chicken way out:

Dez and I—we loved each other. Two: one of us was definitely getting hurt. It was just a matter of when and who and walked away

But then after her wingmen told her how much she's missing out, she eventually went to shout her love to the entire fire station, though:

Even if it might only be you and me?

with her insecurities and all, Dez took her into his strong tanned arms and:

If we decide we want that, there’s lots of ways to make a family

So they surround themselves with many kids and the end.

This book was definitely too long for my liking, a lot of the in between chapters focused on Violet getting over the infidelity with her own methods that could have been summarised. The chapters in the second half also seemed to have a little more focus on the other characters than her, but I guess it is understandable because small, noisy neighbourhood and all.

Violet's growth from being distraught to someone who learnt about herself more was nice to see. Though the trigger for it is a little sad because no one should go through that. She does have a good support system though they ran the show more than her sometimes.
I thought that Dez felt like a rebound/replacement even though he initiated it first. It felt like she just needed another person to get the love she lost again which isn't really my thing. 18/50+ chapters to move on is reasonable but 3/50 chapters to like someone after you found your cheating husband felt a little too early for me. There is no smut in this, we do know when they're about to do things but no details.

Overall, readable but I wouldn't remember this for long.

[Preeti ♥︎ Her Bookshelves · Rating 4 out of 5]

A solid 4* - for so many things.
Recommended!

I love this h and her journey- both personal and professional.
The 'fireman' truly douses some major fires - again literally and figuratively.
There are so many other aspecst to the story as well. How far can you stretch a friendship and do you really know what's behind a face?
The husband is a cheating jerk but does he regret it? Is this a second chance story?

*Major spoilers*
There are some very angsty moments. Like when her husband brings her to the very restaurant, to tell her about the ow, where he's proposed to her 12 years ago.
Other touches - like his demeaning of her, her body, her way of things and her penchant for drinking.

I am impressed how the author shows the h's journey through her 'Dear Sweetie' help/advice column. The book's worth a read just for this --
The h begins as being inane and glib, even patronizing towards her readers.
Then when her life implodes, she goes 'rogue' - channels her inner rage into a scathing, vitriolic rants, almost inciting her readers into being mean and more.
And then as per her stages of grief, she reaches peace and true empathy. And that's when her advice becomes deeply sensitive and meaningful.
The last one - to a young girl whose father leaves them - is simply awesome and so powerful, definitely my favorite.

But still she doesn't get 'that' peaceful that she doesn't know who deserves a bit of a comeuppance.
The h's spiteful and mean MIL deserved a bit more of just desserts, but still I like what the h did.

I love her mother. At first, I thought she's usual rom-fiction's cold, glam and distant mom but she proves herself to be a strong mother hen who looks out for her grown up but still floundering chick. This classy lady had her own sad bg story.
I simply adore their mutually loving relationship as it develops.

As for Dez, he shows unimaginable patience and support for her. Later, there were times, when I did not think she deserved it - and him.
So many characters (friends, colleagues, neighbors) but each had a place and a thing to teach her - bff Kyra, Belinda, Ashleigh, Mark, even Shelby the ow.

Why not a 5*?
Hmmm, again going against the general perception but the romance is lacking imo.
And the h takes too long to make up her mind.
Also, little niggles like - why did she ever stay on in a house that hold such bad/disturbing memories? And seems like will continue to stay on. So, they all live in the same neighborhood - bit too convenient.

[buket · Rating 1 out of 5]

i really didn't like this book. it was so messed up i hated every single person in this book. half of them backstabbing eachother and other half was just so stupid

1- i hated dear sweetie's advices (i already forgot heroine's name) they were stupid, superficial and i stop reading them after a while
2- if this was a romance book we should learn something about hero right? until last chapter we didn't know anything about dez really. he HAD a tragic life but whatever it's not important i guess
3- i hate the husband. but we also didn't learn about him. what's his job?? what about his father being senator and his mother's cameo?? but he doesn't have a character really
4- ugh also i don't like reading about so many secondary characters. we learned unnecessary drama about their lifes
5- and last of all i'm all about women support women thing BUT i can't be besties with a woman who try to ruin my job BECAUSE his husband groped me(bro that was some stupid shit i have to say her husband is SO weird what's his deal??) and i was afraid she was going to be friend with shelby(the mistress)

ANYWAYS i'm sure i won't remember this book in a couple of days 🤠

[Heather~ Nature.books.and.coffee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you @berkleypub and @netgalley for the gifted copy. All opinions are my own.

Violet Covington writes for DEAR SWEETIE, the biggest advice column in North Carolina. When she finds out that her husband, Sam, has been cheating on her, she loses it! She brings out her bad feelings and vicious honesty in her column. Then she meets Dez, a firefighter who shows up to put out the fire that Violet starts in the front yard (of Sam's things). Dez and Violet hit it off and have a little fling, but Sam is begging Violet for a second chance.

This was a heartwarming read, with a MC who deals with some pretty tough issues. So as I was expecting this to be a nice, light romance, it ended up being heavier than expected! But the author does give you the trigger warnings at the beginning, which are infidelity, infertility, miscarriage, anxiety, and alcohol abuse. This was my first by this author and overall, I enjoyed it and thought it was well written. I would definitely check out her future books!

[Jamie Rosenblit · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 RTC

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book gave me ALL.THE.FEELS!!!! I absolutely LOVED this closed door romance about an advice columnist whose life implodes when she catches her husband cheating on her in her own bed.

When Violet's husband tells her he wants to pursue things with the woman he's been seeing on the side, she goes a bit off the rails, drinking too much, setting fires and writing advice she'd never have had the guts to post before.

What I loved the most about this book:
- How real it feels!! Violet goes through some difficult things, makes some terrible mistakes and it forces her to examine the way she's been living and that she needs to find healthier coping strategies, including therapy
-The strong mental health rep
-The amazingly supportive friends
-The mother-daughter relationship and how that deepens and evolves as they open up to each other
-DEZ!!! The ultimate dreamy book bf! He sets the bar high, bringing Violet coffee and croissants, sharing his own pain and ways he learned to deal with his grief, all while continually showing up and giving Violet the space to deal with her feelings at her own pace
-That this story was NOT about having a baby to find your happily ever after

Highly recommended, especially for fans of Abby Jimenez and Sarah Hogle. Much thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for my advance review copy. This is one I won't soon forget.

Favorite quote:
"The ugly parts don't make you any less beautiful...You are flawed, but you're still worthy of love."

CW: infertility, miscarriage, infidelity, grief over the death of a friend

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this from a Goodreads giveaway in exchange for an honest review.
Violet Covington pens a popular advice column under the name "Dear Sweetie " for a publication in North Carolina. Violet has been raised to be a proper Southern Belle, facing any situation with a fresh coat of lipstick and a smile no matter what her genuine feelings are. But when she catches her husband in bed with one of her neighbors, Violet let's down her guard, expressing her hurt and anger through her column. Her new brutal honesty creates an explosive viral following for "Dear Sweetie ", along with other repercussions. As Violet spirals, she begins to make some impulsive decisions that keep throwing her together with the hot firefighter, Dez, who showed up to extinguish the bonfire she made of her husband's clothes and some of his prized possessions. What she discovers is that Dez accepts her just as she is and that she too can learn to love herself and all her imperfections.
A heartwarming story that addresses some delicate topics with humor, compassion and some great advice.

[Beary Into Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. Review to come.

[Wendy W. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Four and a half Stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭒
If You Ask Me by Libby Hubscher is a romantic comedy with an emotional punch. This is not your typical light romcom, but a fun story that also deals with bullying, gaslighting, and mental health issues.

Violet Covington writes an advice column for the local Raleigh newspaper under the pen name Dear Sweetie. She writes good solid advice and her column is popular in South Carolina. When she comes home from work early and finds her husband in bed with the neighbor, she goes off the rails a bit. When she burns her husband’s things in the road in front of her house a handsome firefighter, Dex, shows up to put the fire out.

The betrayal of her husband puts Violet on a revenge path and her column becomes more bitter and direct than her previous polite advice. Because of this, the column goes viral, and everybody in the country starts reading her blunt advice. But eventually, everything spirals out of control and Violet finds herself almost out of a job, alone, and bitter, and she doesn’t like it.

This book is quite the roller coaster of emotions. At first, I thought it was a cute, and predictable romcom, and then it got a bit crazy, and I didn’t like Violet and the choices she was making. But, then Violet realized she was being self-destructive and her path to redemption made this book a very enjoyable and emotional story for me. We had to see her at her worst, in order to appreciate her journey, and I loved how she grew and changed throughout the book.

I highly recommend this book to lovers of romance and women’s fiction. I received a complimentary copy of this book. The opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

[chev ۫ ꣑ৎ · Rating 5 out of 5]

the summary

Okay, this book has a lot of thrill - I love it how Vi vents by burning the house down (love the sass) ;) Jokes aside, I feel this book is really emotional, especially how it took me for a roller-coaster turn. Thank you for giving these characters character development, author.
Love,
chevreads
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plot development ☆☆☆☆☆
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the rating
5/5!!
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[BrandyD · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 rounded up to 4. This was really cute.

[Kari Ann Sweeney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Resist the urge to base this book on the title or the cover.

This is not the light, rom-com I was assuming it would be and that was fine with me. Thanks to NetGalley and Berkley I was able to enjoy 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐒𝐊 𝐌𝐄, a mix of women's fiction with a romance subplot. (PUB 03.08)

𝗪𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃:
Violet- After witnessing her husband's infidelity first hand she goes a bit off the rails and becomes a self proclaimed hot mess express. The advice column she writes, 𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘚𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘦, gets caught in the crossfire. Her struggle to become who she wants to be, opposed to who everyone expects her to be, was easy to identify with.

Dez- The sweetest, swoony cinnamon roll firefighter. He's almost too good to be true- almost.

The author includes a note of caution for content warnings at the beginning of the book. Including: infidelity, infertility, miscarriage, anxiety, and alcohol abuse.

Similar to Hubscher's debut, the characters are dealing with some heavy issues: betrayal, heartbreak, self-growth, and acceptance. I appreciated that the heft is counterbalanced with very tender, heartfelt moments as well.

I loved how the letters and replies to 𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘚𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘦 helped provide backstory while also propelling the plot without ever pulling me out of the story. It was a clever way to help develop Violet's character.

Closed door romance

Sandwich this one between two heavier reads and it will be perfect.

[Amber · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the spontaneity and growth that the main character went through on the this journey. Sometimes, however, it did feel a bit, overly dramatic and often times the drama that is unfolding takes over for anything else you are rooting for, including the romance.

I received an ecopy of this book through Netgalley; however, my opinions are my own

[Sarah | Kerosene.Lit · Rating 4 out of 5]

After getting my heart obliterated by Meet Me in Paradise last year, I had a feeling this one would hit me hard ... but my emotions still snuck up on me. I think it's due to the perfect mix of humour within the story!

After catching her husband of fifteen years in bed with a neighbour, advice columnist Violet makes the rash decision of burning his clothes in the front yard. In comes Dev, the handsome firefighter! And listen, Violet is a spiralling hot mess throughout this story, her survival mode causing pure self-destruction. But as this tragic heartbreak resurfaces internalized pain, she truly grows, becoming the most authentic version of herself. I really empathized with her.

"You can be broken and still be whole. You can break things and still be loved."

I did find the romance pacing a tad odd at first, but Dev was so nonjudgemental and sweet. It was hard not to adore him! And I loved the addition of the advice column between chapters. It was a fun touch! I'm ready for the next from Libby Hubscher!

[skyeslibrary · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was super fun to read a book set in and around my home city!

This was a perfectly lovely women’s fiction/romance filled with self-discovery and healing.

Please be sure to look up trigger warnings before you read!

To my spice lovers: this is fade-to-black.

Read if you like:

♡ southern charm
♡ woman gets her groove back
♡ advice columns
♡ cute firefighters

[Julie - One Book More · Rating 4 out of 5]

If You Ask Me follows Violet, an advice columnist who has just found her husband in bed with another woman. Heartbroken and enraged, Violet burns his clothes in the street, prompting the fire department to come, which is how she meets a handsome firefighter named Dez. As Violet deals with her break-up and other life-changing events, she and Dez grow closer. But with mishaps at her job and a husband begging for forgiveness, Violet must decide what she wants for her future.

Violet went through a lot over the course of the story, and I like that she grew and learned so much about who she is and what she wants in life. She has a seemingly picture-perfect life with a great career and marriage until she finds he husband in bed with another woman. Now, everything she ever knew about her life is in shambles, and she is a mess. Her husband’s betrayal incites a complete change in Violet’s life, and her journey in finding happiness, accepting herself, and taking another chance on love is at the forefront of the novel.

Violet’s situations are relatable, and I sympathized with her character even though I didn’t always love the impulsive things she did. She goes through a rollercoaster of emotions, and the anger, frustration, hopelessness, and desire for revenge that Violet feels after she is spurned by her husband is very realistic. She falls apart and becomes quite angry and bitter, which is reflected in her advice column. With her career, relationships, and well-being at risk, Violet really has to search within herself and figure out who she is and what she really wants in life. Does she want to be this angry and bitter? Can she forgive? How has her marriage and relationship with family affected and shaped her? She learns all this and more about herself as she searches for self-acceptance, happiness, and love.

Dez, Violet’s potential love interest is super sweet and supportive, and I love how he accepts Violet for who she is. He has also gone through heartbreak, and his calm, centered support is exactly what Violet needs. He is a thoughtful and encouraging man who never pushes Violet, and he becomes a constant that she can depend on. Plus, he gives the most lovely forehead kisses that are positively swoon-worthy!

I also really like that the story includes Sweetie’s advice column, as well as text messages with Dez. It adds more context and depth to the characters and their different relationships. The inclusion of the advice columns shows how drastically Violet’s life has changed and how much her personal life affects all aspects of her life. And the texts with Dez show how much their relationship is growing and deepening.

I enjoyed this story. It’s funny and a bit heart-wrenching, and includes many heavy topics like infertility, alcoholism, anxiety, infidelity, grief, and more. It’s not a light and fluffy rom-com, though there are many funny, heart-warming, and laugh-out-loud moments. Instead, it is a journey of self-discovery, change, and finding oneself. Thanks so much to Berkley Books and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of the book in exchange for my honest review.

[Katie • forevermorepages · Rating 2 out of 5]

Unfortunately, I began this book really loving it, but, obviously, my feelings changed. I originally found the main character and her struggles appealing; I was heartbroken for her and I loved the budding romance between her and Dev, but ultimately, I was left dissatisfied by a story that was far too cyclical in its conflicts and a romance that was far too underdeveloped. For the first third, I didn't mind Violet's blunders—found them endearing, even—but after awhile, it seemed that all the plot hinged on was Violet making mistake after mistake after mistake while Dev pined for...honestly no reason at all aside from insta-love. I just didn't really understand what they saw in each other and I wanted so much more from his characterization; his backstory is brushed over and hinted at in parts, but never developed nearly as much as hers and that made him feel more like a caricature than a real person.

I think this book really just suffered from a lack of direction. We see Violet really struggling with her life, dealing with past trauma (that was also underdeveloped), her failing marriage and cheating husband, infertility, and her social life, and while the messy decisions she makes are sympathetic and understandable, after awhile, it was tiring reading about a character who constantly fell into this cycle of errors (although I have a bone to pick with the way the novel handled her writing the column about Shelby that accidentally got posted...I didn't think she did anything wrong by writing something she never thought would get published—writing is cathartic!—it was just an accident and blown way out of proportion. But anyway, I just wanted to read about something else after awhile.

I think I could have enjoyed this book a lot more if Dev had been a more developed character, but ultimately, I didn't really care for mr. manic pixie dream boy and the story's treatment of him left a lot to be desired.

I do realize that part of my problem with this book stems from that it leans more toward "women's fiction" (although I hate the name of the genre) rather than romance, given that it focuses more on Violet's development as a ~30 year old person and sidelined the romance. I went into this expecting the romance to take a bigger position in the novel and while I can't blame it for that, I do think I would have enjoyed this more if it read as a traditional romance.

I do have to say, however, that one of the things I really enjoyed about this book was the focus on therapy at the end. I think that was a very appropriate turn for the book to take and higlighted the personal development that is needed, especially when facing trauma.

TW: infidelity, adultery, infertility, divorce

Thank you to the publisher for providing me with an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read Meet me in paradise last year and now this one and I can safely say I will read anything Libby Hubscher writes!
I LOVED this book so much!!! I laughed… ALOT! Out loud while sitting in the school carline, people probably thought I was crazy! I cried. I cheered!
Violet! I loved her so much! I loved watching her growth in this book. It was simply beautiful! Even though her marriage failed. It was nice to see her come to terms and see all the ways it had failed even before that final moment. Sam was garbage and never deserved Violet!
Now DEZ! Oh man! I loved him! Who doesn’t love a hot fireman? No one. Everyone does! I only wish I got more of him and the relationship between Violet and him.
This story focuses more on Violet and her growth but I felt DEZ was such an important aspect to that! I loved this book so much!!!!!!

[Danielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun, sweet book about loss and rediscovering yourself.

I am not sure fun is the right word, but I enjoyed watching Violet’s progression through the book. It was wild to see her reactions to her husband’s infidelity and how they impacted not just her but others in her life too. I liked seeing how she figured out the past to being better, and realizing that you can’t be perfect or gloss over hard moments.

I liked her relationship with Dez and how he supported her through the difficult time and made her realize things that needed to change.

Overall, a sweet story that also packs an emotional punch. (3.5)

[cw - infidelity, infertility]