Better to Have Gone: Love, Death, and the Quest for Utopia in Auroville

by Akash Kapur

A “haunting and elegant” (The Wall Street Journal) story about love, faith, the search for utopia—and the often devastating cost of idealism.

It’s the late 1960s, and two lovers converge on an arid patch of earth in South India. John Walker is the handsome scion of a powerful East Coast American family. Diane Maes is a beautiful hippie from Belgium. They have come to build a new world—Auroville, an international utopian community for thousands of people. Their faith is strong, the future bright.

So how do John and Diane end up dying two decades later, on the same day, on a cracked concrete floor in a thatch hut by a remote canyon? This is the mystery Akash Kapur sets out to solve in Better to Have Gone , and it carries deep personal Diane and John were the parents of Akash’s wife, Auralice. Akash and Auralice grew up in Auroville; like the rest of their community, they never really understood those deaths.

In 2004, Akash and Auralice return to Auroville from New York, where they have been living with John’s family. As they reestablish themselves in the community, along with their two sons, they must confront the ghosts of those distant deaths. Slowly, they come to understand how the tragic individual fates of John and Diane intersected with the collective history of their town.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, India, History, Religion, Cults, Biography

368 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 20, 2021

About the author

Thanks for visiting my Author's Page and for your interest in my work. I am an Indian-American journalist and author. I write about a wide range of topics but my main interest is in human stories. I believe literature illuminates the human condition, and I love talking to people (I hate calling them "interviews"), understanding their lives, and translating their stories into the written word.

My first book, "India Becoming," captured stories from a changing and rapidly modernizing India; it tried to portray all the ambivalence and "creative destruction" of economic development. "Better to have Gone" is about love, faith, death, and the noble but often tragic--and destructive--search for utopia. It's set in the intentional community of Auroville, where I grew up, and is focused on the remarkable stories of my wife's parents, who were pioneers in the community and died in mysterious circumstances. The book was something of a personal quest for our family as we sought to unravel those mysteries.

I'm also the editor of an anthology of writing from Auroville ("Auroville: Dream and Reality"), and I've written for a number of publications in the USA, India, and UK. These include the Atlantic, the Economist, Granta, the Hindu, the New York Times, and the New Yorker. I also used to write a fortnightly "Letter from India" column for the international New York Times. Thank you again for your interest in my work.

Reviews

[Lisa of Troy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Better to Have Gone is a non-fiction book about a village in India called Auroville. In 1968, the village was founded, and it was a barren land where people from around the world gathered in hopes to create a better society. The Aurovilians are a hard working people with incredible grit and determination. Working together and through much sacrifice, they transform the barren, parched earth into a flourishing forest complete with new animal wildlife. The members work hard each day in the belief that they are making the world a better place and dig deep spiritually through the practice of yoga. However, all utopians are not perfect. Two members of the community end up dead. What led up to their deaths?

This book was extremely interesting especially as a non-fiction work which is bound by a certain set of facts. It was like Dune, Jonestown, and a mystery all rolled into one! It was written in a way which was really intriguing, and I wanted to know more. It also spoke about the environment and working for a cause greater than oneself. Especially in these turbulent times, it is easy to imagine how people would be attracted to a quest for deeper meaning and making a real difference in the world. Previously, I had never heard about Auroville so this work was truly unique. It is incredible how so much has been accomplished in terms of enhancing the environment as well as constructing the village.

The author was very articulate, and it was clear that he spent a great deal of time researching this book. He also had a number of photographs in the book as well which were a real delight. There were also some great quotes that I would love to share upon final publication.

Overall, this is an amazing non-fiction book that you should read especially if you love Dune and/or Jonestown.

*Thank you, NetGalley, for a free copy of this book in exchange for my fair and honest opinion.

2024 Reading Schedule
Jan Middlemarch
Feb The Grapes of Wrath
Mar Oliver Twist
Apr Madame Bovary
May A Clockwork Orange
Jun Possession
Jul The Folk of the Faraway Tree Collection
Aug Crime and Punishment
Sep Heart of Darkness
Oct Moby-Dick
Nov Far From the Madding Crowd
Dec A Tale of Two Cities

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[Sophie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Better to have gone: Love, Death, and the quest for Utopia in Auroville

4 stars

𝗧𝗟𝗗𝗥: 𝗜𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗗 𝗪𝗜𝗟𝗗 𝗪𝗜𝗟𝗗 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧𝗥𝗬, 𝗡𝗫𝗜𝗩𝗠 𝗗𝗢𝗖𝗨𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗦, 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗗𝗘𝗘𝗣 𝗘𝗡𝗗, 𝗢𝗥 𝗔𝗡𝗬 𝗖𝗨𝗟𝗧 𝗗𝗢𝗖𝗨𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗦, 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗦!

As someone who has always been fascinated by cults, sects, and attempting to discover a way of life that matches with my inner soul (thus quite susceptible to cults, but happily haven't succumbed yet), this book piqued my interest. I'm so delighted I got it. It's one of the few neutral (ish) accounts (usually) I've seen that isn't vehemently opposed to the cult's concept.

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬:
Better to Have Gone is a narrative nonfiction/memoir that relates the story of journalist Akash Kapur's family, who lived in "utopia" in Auroville, India. His wife Auralice's parents died unexpectedly while living in the commune and are part of the Auroville folklore and narrative. After living in the United States for a few years, those with money or a lease opt to return to Auroville in search of answers and a simpler life where they may reconnect with what makes them unique.

Blanche Alfassa, the founder of Auroville, also known as the Mother, was a spiritual seeker who adopted "Integral Yoga," a discipline that argues that mankind is in transition and promises its devotees "evolutionary metamorphosis" into "supramental" beings.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝:
The book is a brilliant and poignant representation of our need for utopia and perfection, but it also goes as far as refusing medical care and wishing to completely detach from Western practises and medicine, ultimately costing individuals their lives. I thought it was fantastic. It was challenging to read at times, but it presents an essential message and warning for all of us attempting to escape society's materialism.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬:
The narration was incredibly tedious at times. The author frequently jumps from one story to the next, making it difficult to follow along at times. There is no connection between a few of the tales, which may have been difficult to determine as a non-neutral narrator.

[Kasia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Before reading this book I had no idea that a place like Auroville existed. Utopia experiment turned spiritual community that functions for more than 50 years sounds almost impossible (and vaguely cultish) so I knew I need to learn more about it.

Akash Kapur, author of this book, lived in Auroville or it's proximity for majority of his life so we get a first hand account of how it felt to grew up in such an extraordinary circumstances. Author attempts to comprehend what made this community come together and analyse what keeps it going but his point of view is tainted by his obvious affection for this place. In my opinion the strongest part of this book is focusing on a time period after death of the Auroville's spiritual leader and the power vacuum it created. The subsequent struggles to take over the guidance of Auroville were dominated by Satprem - a troubled II World War survivor that led community to a dark period of a deep schism and radicalization. It's quite fascinating to see how fast a group of people united under the slogans of inclusivity can turn into tight-knit clique that denies any rights to people that think differently.

The book also tries to examine life and untimely death of two Aurovillians - John and Diane - parents/caregivers of authors wife. Although the story is very tragic it failed to resonate with me probably because I was unable to understand John's and Diane's point of view and the connection they had. Author tries to explain their demise as a consequence of a very deep spirituality but for me it sounds like a fanaticism where there is no longer a place for common sense. On the other hand it raises an interesting dilemma - how much spirituality is too much? Where do you draw a line between madness and deep believes?

Solid book.

[Caywoodreads · Rating 1 out of 5]

Selfish idiots neglect children, die of preventable causes.

There, I just saved you 20 hours.

Not my cup of tea.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

There’s a quote in the book that says something like, “utopias are a glass that’s half full and half empty.” Their initial ideals are almost always admirable, but simply due to human nature, they always seem to go awry. When you add some mysticism (fanaticism?) to the mix, what could go wrong?

I was interested in this book because I’m intrigued by the question of why people find faith and unquestioning belief in unproven or eminently questionable idols and ideals. The book offers no clues other than to say that some people really want to believe in someone or something, probably to give their life meaning or fill a void, and there’s really no explaining why. I understand why John and Diane might want to remove themselves from a harried, materialistic society to lead a simpler commune-with-the-land type of existence, but I still don’t understand how they could believe so unwaveringly in The Mother and then, disastrously, in her follow up guru, Satprem. How (and why) do some people walk into a room, sit in someone’s presence for 3 minutes and then make the leap to accepting that person as a divine conduit? And how (and why?) do they continue to believe even when their health and lives are at risk?

I was continuously bothered by Auroville’s eschewing of money and materialism while excepting money from John’s family fund. This was most salient when John was building Ravenna and simultaneously castigating his father for his extreme materialism while asking him for more funds as the project runs over budget. If you’re completely against materialism, I guess you better stay in your grass hut.

The fact that the author, Akash Kapur, has a personal relationship to Auroville makes the investigation into its formation and into John and Diane’s deaths more interesting. He does an admirable job of piecing together events and includes perspectives from other community members. The book is well done, but I’m still shaking my head in confusion as to how any Auroville continues to exist.

[Umar Lee · Rating 2 out of 5]

Decently written. Not a very interesting subject matter. It must really suck to be white and wealthy and have a saviors mentality. Pro-tip: all effective cults and communes will seek to monopolize sex and money so you'd be better off developing a gamblers habit and joining a swingers club. There has never been and will never be utopia on this Earth and as this book once again illustrates the pursuit of such more closely resembles the creation of Hell.

[Irene · Rating 4 out of 5]

Auroville was founded in 1968 in India as an international utopian community. The author and his wife grew up in this community, but their experiences were very different. When his wife was 14, her mother and foster father died hours apart. What caused the deaths of these long term members and true believers of this idealistic project? In this memoir of a community and a family, the author uncovers the story of a utopian adventure and of two of its most ardent spiritual devotees. 3.5 stars

[Ashish Kumar · Rating 4 out of 5]

“People typically move to places such as Auraville, have moved throughout the ages, because they’re searching for something new. Maybe they’re tired of their lives, maybe they feel alienated by the way the world is. They sell the house, pack their bags, travel to a faraway destination, and hope for a fresh start. But for Auralice and me, our move represented something different. We weren’t lunging toward the future; we were taking a step back, into the past.”

I have seen multiple documentaries on multiple intentional communities in the past and one thing that’s common in all of them, was their ultimate fall, the failure to make a new society and the catastrophe that nevertheless followed. But to my surprise, Auroville, an intentional community in India still exists and has been in existence since the 1960s; well of course not without its own set of problems and controversies.

Akash Kapur and his wife Auralice were born there and returned again from US in 2004 with his family and, it's there that he started writing this very personal and investigatory non fiction about the sudden death of Auralice’s mother and father on the same day.

Even though this is of a personal nature, Kapur does provide the full history of the place, from the very beginning when there was nothing but few people with dreams to create a different world and how it gradually became this community which currently shelters approximately three thousand people. What was fascinating to see was the motivations of these people from all over the world to leave everything behind to join a community that wasn’t even fully realized yet.

It’s a non fiction through and through but with an edge of fiction, almost like a memoir which gives this book a feel that someone is narrating a story, a really solid story that has a big mystery at its center. It has little little story of people thrown in which does deter from the narrative but provides a complete image o the place. I loved reading it and seeing this place grow from scratch, all the gossip and speculations, the trials and tribulations, the politics and the commentary, everything contained within these pages was a joy to discover. Though I think this could have been a little shorter, slightly more edited to remove the few reiterations.

All in all, this was the one and only non fiction I read this year. Shameful I know, but I am shit when it comes to non fiction. Cheers anyway to more of them in the future.

[Miya (severe pain struggles, slower at the moment) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have always been interested in learning about different communities and cult type topics. The Farm and Auroville have been ones that I have been intrigued by, so i was super excited to read this. I don't know why it fascinates me to see how things work in these places. It seems so much goes wrong even when intending for the exact opposite..

[Sakun Sambanthan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Firstly, having lived in Pondicherry in 2003 & 2004, I was privy to the very real drama between Ashramites (residence of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram) & Aurovillians. Although much tapered by that time, that energy of distrust was still there in the air.

Many things stood out for me in this book

- I'd often wondered how the Ashram & its connected entities would flourish after the passing on of its founding members namely the Mother and this book address the challenge. The details of what happened right before her passing and Satprem's influence over Auroville was eye opening.

- John sounds like a remarkable character even before having any contact with Auroville so that's a testament to his true being. He became too much of an extremist at the end. Life is all about balance. But as one of John's friends said this was a choice he made & he lived with those consequences.

- Diane comes across as a narcissist. Her lack of responsibility over her children and choosing the cowards way out at the end doesn't redeem herself to making sacrifices.

- Auralice is a tastemet to the spirit of resilience. I'm amazed at how others within the community came through for her. That is the epitomy of people trying to demonstrate the utopian spirit.

I throughly enjoyed this book. Absolutely thought provoking. There were times I had to pause and process my thoughts.

But honestly the spiritual path is challenging. And more so in a land like Auroville with its weather conditions and the coming together of people from different cultures trying to live harmoniously.

If you're looking for an honest and at times raw account of the very real human struggle for utopia then pick this book up.

[Letha · Rating 3 out of 5]

A well written, autobiographical account of the ashram and it offshoot Auroville. I have visited both places, the Ashram in the 70s when the Mother was still alive and Auroville recently in 2014, both visits just as a curious 'tourist'. I am familiar with Pondicherry and JIPMER (the medical school mentioned often in the book) as my sibling was at JIPMER in the 70s. This book is one (or perhaps two) person(s) personal experiences and views. Credit goes to the author for presenting the story and events in a fairly non-judgmental manner, especially in the concluding chapters where he tries to present both sides of the coin. It seems to me that the author and his wife are now trying to find meaning in their life post 9/11 and within the context of the myriad of issues currently facing the world. The Auroville I saw in 2014 did not look like any Utopia to me even as a work in progress. But then I am a skeptic. It certainly came across as a tourist attraction both for richer Indians looking for something exotic and continues to draw a spectrum of foreign nationals seeking meaning and truth. I was not aware of the Governments involvement with Auroville and that spells 'bureaucracy' from where I am looking. I was curious enough to check how one joins this 'utopia in progress' and it sounds quite bureaucratic; in its original days, I gather you just went to see Mother and she 'accepted' you based on your 'aura' I believe.

[Alexis · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is something of a history, something of a memoir. Kapur revisits the history of the utopian community, Auroville, in which he and his wife grew up--and where her mother and stepfather died.

There's a lot of what you expect from an intentional community: infighting, dogma. But Kapur's personal connection to the events, and the specific personal narrative of Auralice's parents John and Diane, make this deeper and more affecting. Akash and Auralice ultimately returned to live in Auroville, and his relationship with the place is loving but complicated. Because you know from the beginning that it ends in tragedy, it feels a little bit like a slow spiral to the inevitable--but is no less interesting or gripping for that.

Stylistically my only quibble is with his use of the present tense throughout; it's a little jarring.

[Michael Galvin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Who dodges a bullet?

Towards the end of this excellently written book, the author recounts a conversation in a New York restaurant. It’s between a person who has never had any interest in living the Auroville life, and another person who is back for a temporary visit to their family and friends in America. One of them, thinking of the other, says he’s thankful he’s dodged this particular bullet. Little does he know that the person they’re talking to - the Auroville visitor - is having exactly the same thought about contemporary life in America.

The great strength of this book is that it will leave the reader with a similar, mostly unanswerable, question, whatever their life choices have been. Are the bullets I’ve dodged along the way better or worse choices than the ones I have made in my own life?

[Gigi · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting and well-written story. I found that I didn't particularly want the book-length telling - I think a long article would have satisfied my curiosity - and yet I didn't stop reading because I really wanted to know what happened. I felt somewhat let down by the end of the story, and yet somehow the ambiguity of it all was exactly the point. I'm not sure what I think of the book now that I've reached the end of it.

[Catherine]

I read the first hundred pages and then skimmed the rest. Too many people with too much jumping around in the narrative/chronology. I usually love cult stories, but I couldn't make myself care about this one.

[Beth · Rating 2 out of 5]

Auroville, a utopian, commune style village created on a barren piece of land in India is the setting for this extremist way of life which seemed to appeal to people yearning to escape the turmoil of the 1960's. Those in need of some deeper meaning and looking for a non-political, egalitarian leader tried creating an idealistic society in which all people were autonomous and lived in a community free of materialism and chaos.

While I appreciated the effort of this group of people trying to survive on their own, I felt like the residents were constantly searching for a happiness they would never find. Natural remedies replaced western medicine which allowed for an otherwise healthy man of 44 to die due to a complete lack of medical care and parasitic infestation. Money was despised until it was needed from John's wealthy father to build parts of the town. Children were allowed to roam free which sometimes proved deadly.

I found the story to be a bit disjointed and I didn't like the first person narration.
Better to have NOT gone would be my personal inclination.....

[Shubha · Rating 4 out of 5]

After a slow start, I found myself completely absorbed in this book. I know the setting intimately - I grew up in Pondicherry, and went to the Sri Aurobindo Ashram school for 8 years. My entire family lives in Auroville, and I have been a part of that community for close to half a century. Though most of the events described in this book took place when I was too young to be aware of them, I have faint glimmers of memory of some of them - I knew, for example, that there was a woman who had fallen from Matrimandir and was paralysed as a result.

Though some residents of Auroville are unhappy about the way the community is portrayed, I think Akash tries his best to do it justice within the confines of trying to fathom the basic mystery at the heart of the book, which is why the lives of Diane and John ended the way they did. It is a defining event in the life of Auralice, daughter of Diane and wife of Akash. But it is also about how John and Diane were caught up in a particularly rigid interpretation of the teachings of the Mother, via exchanges with one of her closest disciples and confidantes, Satprem. Satprem was instrumental in publishing 13 volumes of what he called l'Agenda de Mere, Mother's Agenda, which provided a direct glimpse into the thoughts and spiritual struggles of the Mother. Satprem, who had his own fascinating history which no doubt shaped his outlook (he was in the French Resistance and imprisoned in a concentration camp during World War II), came in turn to exercise an outsize influence on a small segment of Aurovillians.

I found it fascinating to read John and Diane's story, and to relive those times through the eyes of another. I also find I understand Akash's view of :"Growing up in utopia is a good way to make you an incrementalist. It's not so much that the utopian ambition inevitably fails; we all have dreams that refuse to materialise. The problem is that utopia is so often shot through with the worst forms of callousness and cruelty." It is always worrying when there are near-fanatic adherents of a particular ideal, no matter how lofty the ideal. But I think this particular utopian experiment, still imperfect, has transcended some those troubles, as Akash says in the end. Auroville lives on, has been an innovator in regenerating the environment and advocating for alternative energy, and in a form of community-based governance which is messy - therein lies its strength.

[Shalini · Rating 4 out of 5]

On my first visit to Auroville in 1994, I was intrigued by the place and just could not understand what it was all about, especially the obsession with the mother. I liked the incense sticks sold there and visited twice subsequently but was none the wiser. I hoped this book would enlighten me and it did. The story attempts to unravel the mysterious deaths of two Aurovillians, and is a bit of a disappointment when it gets there. As an extreme skeptic, I cannot see the distinction between a religion, a cult and a commune. Auroville is all of these and the fact that this was argued in a court is somehow unbelievable. I also wonder how this place garnered so much national and international attention, including that of Indira Gandhi, Tata and UNESCO. Perhaps it was the economic prospect of foreign currency in the India of the 70s and 80s. It is a well written book that demystifies Auroville. It also offers some insight into the minds of those who chose to turn away from modernity and science and hold on desperately to anything, eastern mysticism and yoga in this case, that offers a way out.

[Jonathan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've found the cult documentaries that have come out over the past few years on Netflix particularly interesting and have an academic interest in utopias and the sociology of religion, so this book piqued my interest. However, I found that the loose writing style of the book often lost my attention. Kapur tells the history of the cult that his parents and his wife's parents had been a part of; he raises many interesting questions throughout it, but it lacked a tight enough structure to make it feel as though it wasn't just jumping from anecdote to anecdote. That feeling is likely the result of attempting to weave together stories from countless oral histories, and doing so with a tight narrative is a very difficult feat. It just felt stuck in a limbo state where the author was too present in the story for it to be full-on narrative but not present enough for it to be told like a memoir.

[Neel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Akash Kapur tells a personal story that weaves through conflict, utopia, frames of reality, and alternative society, somehow managing to give each viewpoint its due, and being upfront about all his biases. In uncovering the mystery of the death of his wife's parents, he tells the tale of Auroville, its founding, trials, and survival, into the community it is now. There are many controversial topics, it is almost impossible to get a nuanced, unbiased opinion of many of the events and people he speaks of. That is where the thoroughness of his research and the directness of his writing shine - he tells the complete story (or as close as possible), mostly reserving judgement, and what remains is a story of human beings who sought a better world, and all the struggles that come with that. Even for those who have no connection to Auroville, this is a generous telling of a powerful, often beautiful story. Truth is often stranger than fiction, and this story is a prime example.

[Donna M · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the story of a modern Utopia largely told through the stories of Diane and John Walker who came to the community during its founding era. Combines anthropology, history and family stories to give a balanced version of Auroville. I do wish the book had an index and photo captions with the pictures. There were times that I wanted to refresh myself on a topic and had to page through. Minor criticism of an extraordinary book.

[Margaret · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went to Auroville several years ago and wish this book had been written before I went. I didn't finish the book with the same uplift that the author did. I still find the story shocking and sad and avoidable.

[Adrian]

The story of a city founded by a group of utopians. Auroville is in southern India and got its start in 1968. At the beginning it was just a handful of people mostly non-Indian who hoped to live off the land and change the world. As with all such schemes there were fantastic notions of what could be done such as the idea they could abolish the need for money. The author grew up in Auroville and then left to get an education only to return as a married man with children. His wife, Aurolice, is the daughter of a magnetic Auroville couple, John and Diane, who gave their lives to this odd mission and the book details their rise and fall as well as the strange politics of the place. There are cultish aspects of Auroville that remind one of Jim Jones. Its citizens followed the leadership of Mother and then Satprem slavishly and at great cost denied the effectiveness of modern medicine. It's always fascinating to see what people can persuade themselves to believe.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book during a search for cults, and thought it sounded intriguing. Apparently there's a town/village that was built in India as a utopia, called Auroville after the spiritual leader Sri Aurobindo, who eventually stopped speaking except to a woman who came to be known as the Mother. The Mother was the one who forged forward with the idea of a utopia. Then followed a growing group who lived there and tried to make it work, some government conflicts, and the deaths of the author's wife's mother Diane and a man she came to know as a father figure, John.

The deaths were made out to be caused by this cult, but that is not the case - one died of tapeworms or other parasites and the other of suicide by poisoning after the other's death, both of which could have been prevented if either had been willing to use traditional medicines. There's some focus in the book of their beliefs in "the yoga" and how immortality can be achieved.

Overall this book was slow and focused on the lives of John and Diane and the more political aspects of Auroville and conflicts with the government. I put it down several times and honestly I wish I had not spent so much time reading it. I had imagined Auroville to be more of a Jonestown situation but apparently it's still alive and well today. I suppose the beliefs of this group could be considered cultish but overall if you're looking for a book about cults this isn't that.

[Meghan Agresto · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. For so many reasons. Would have given it a 5.5 stars if I could, but then unfortunately subtracted half a star because my only complaint about this book was that the photographs did not have captions. Even though I knew exactly what the pictures were of it still bothered me. Minor point compared to how much I wanted to talk about this book with everyone near me, my highest compliment. Found it fascinating in part because I live in a place that is in fact a planned community, and that people come here to their “happy place“ which I never realized was just an updated version of utopic thinking. And the human struggles experienced by the founders of Auroville, and the levels of belongingness that come in subsequent generations, felt a lot like nativism you can find in beach communities of “how local are you” with an overlay of everyone who’s here now is here because of a planned vision, which has a little bit of a colonizing impact for those who were here even prior to its vision and creation. But, even without the overlay of what felt like a human experience in small new beautiful but growing and changing places, the book stood alone as well written, readable and compelling.

[Steve Solnick · Rating 4 out of 5]

An engrossing and deeply personal narrative of Auroville - the utopian community founded in the 1960s in south eastern India. Kapur and his wife were both born there, and the book explores the tragic death of his wife's mother and step-father. The account is prodigiously researched and richly nuanced. By the end, the author has found a sort of nobility in these deaths, and moves back to Auroville with his family. I don't completely share this view. - I found the deaths senseless, honestly - but there is much food for thought here about faith, fanaticism, love and community.

Oddly, though, I wish there was a bit more in the story about India. Readers unfamiliar with India might have benefitted from a bit more context on the colonial dynamics surrounding this community of Westerners creating an Eden in the desert. Kapur alludes to these crosswinds but doesn't really unpack them. The omission of a map is also puzzling. But, in the end, this is not meant to be a history of Auroville but rather a sort of family memoir. And as such, it is haunting.

[Apoorva Saini · Rating 5 out of 5]

I went on a trip to Pondicherry in Nov,2021. My guesthouse happened to be in Auroville, just an extension of Pondi in my mind, so a place I knew nothing about. I am grateful for both these coincidences. The experimental township enchanted me like it does most people. Someone told me about this book in one of the discussions at the guesthouse and I ended up buying it from the bookstore at the visitor's centre. The shop had only one copy left, the bookseller told me she's been planning to read it for long. I read a few chapters in Auroville, but only took to the book properly on returning home. Akash has told not just his family's story but an intimate history of Auroville that opens a window to a vast world of conflicting dreams and realities for its readers. An excellent and insightful read.

[Janet · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book. Kapur synthesized years of research and of interviewing his friends and Auroville residents. Reading about the aspirations and failures of a utopian community is always fascinating, especially since this one continues to exist, and I think that Kapur retells the story using an ongoing present tense captures the poignancy of his tale. The tragedy of the deaths of Auralice's parents is described without casting blame at the same time that Kapur subtlety conveys the horrific trauma for Auralice.

For me, this book reaffirms the dangers of ideological thinking as opposed to compassion.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story of Auroville intertwined with the life and death of 2 early residents, John and Diane. Everyone including, Auroville itself, is given a compassionate, balanced account and the reader is left to decide the role of faith. Does the quest for something more explicate the negiligence and deathes at Auroville? Kapur gives ample details and space for the reader to decide - while acknowledging that one view is only a view and not the totality of the story.

[Suzanne Eastman · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very enlightening story of a place in India that became a Mecca for people around the world looking to create a utopia. The 1960’s found many looking for spiritual guidance beyond the traditional and a small group created a commune on a barren space in southern India. The author takes us on a journey through the eyes of some of the founders, the many ups and downs and then through his own eyes as a child of this unique place.