If You Were There: Missing People and the Marks They Leave Behind

by Francisco García

A powerful, evocative and deeply personal journey into the world of missing people

When Francisco Garcia was just seven years old, his father, Christobal, left his family. Unemployed, addicted to drink and drugs, and adrift in life, Christobal decided he would rather disappear altogether than carry on dealing with the problems in front of him. So that’s what he did, leaving his young wife and child in the dead of night. He has been missing ever since.

Twenty years on, Francisco is ready to take up the search for answers. Why did this happen and how could it be possible? Where might his father have gone? And is there any reason to hope for a happy reunion? During his journey, which takes him all across Britain and back to his father’s homeland of Spain, Francisco tells the stories of those he meets along the way: the police investigators; the charity employees and volunteers; the once missing and those perilously at risk around us; the families, friends and all those left behind.

If You Were There is the moving and affecting story of one man’s search for his lost family, an urgent document of where we are now and a powerful, timeless reminder of our responsibility to others.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Audiobook, Biography, Biography Memoir

336 pages, Audiobook

Published May 13, 2021

Reviews

[Ellie Spencer (catching up from hiatus) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am not a huge non-fiction reader, so I want to make it very clear that my enjoyment of this book may very well be down to struggling with the genre rather than this book specifically.

If You Were There follows the tale of people who go missing. García has lived his life in the shadow of a missing father, Christobal, who left their family home one day, never to return. As he walks in the footsteps of the missing, will he find his family?

This was a bit of a mixed read for me, I found some of it really interesting and did learn a few things. I particularly loved the aspects of García’s personal life, they added a wonderfully personal touch to this book. However, other parts felt dragged out and a little repetitive, although they did give me much to ponder. I loved the bravery with which García told his families story, and all of those who contributed to the book with their personal stories.

My biggest issue was that after a while, I had no desire to pick the book up. However, I can often experience this with non-fiction as I read to get an escape from everyday life! I had hoped that the topic would interest me enough to keep me hooked but unfortunately that was not the case. That being said, I do not want my review to put off potential readers, I feel that those who love non-fiction will appreciate this more than I was able to.

I would recommend this to any fans of non-fiction. I want to thank Netgalley, HarperCollins UK and Francisco García for sending me a copy of this book so I can give my personal thoughts.

[Louise Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

When Francisco Garcia was just seven years old. his father, Christobal, left his family. Unemployed and addicted to drink and drugs and adrift in life, Christobal decided he would rather disappear altogether than carry on dealing with the problems in front of him. Twenty years later, Francisco is ready to take up the search for answers. Where might his father have gone? Will there be a happy reunion?

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book even though i had mixed feelings about reading it as i pushed the request button. This is a very moving story that takes us on a journey across Britain and back to Spain, his fathers homeland. We learn of the people Francisco met along the way and the key workers who helped him in his search. Did this story have a happy ending? You'll need to het a copy of the book to find out.

I would like to thank #NetGalley #HatperCollinsUK #NonFiction and the author #FranciscoGarcia for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Russell Myers · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really cannot recommend this enough. I can honestly say I was a little apprehensive going in to it as someone who's mother walked out over 45 years ago. I never really thought of her as missing just not present. Francisco Garcia handles the subject with empathy and compassion and his personal experience with his father add depth and an understanding that without could have made this a work without sensitivity. The stories, figures, people within the pages take you on a journey through those that are quickly forgotten by many of us and give us a taste of the impact a missing person leaves behind. This is a truly moving book. Thank you Mr Garcia.

[Mandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Extremely interesting exploration of what it means to be “missing” and what happens to those left behind. In this well-researched account of all those who become involved when someone goes missing – and this involves more people and organisations than I was aware of, and the subject is so much more complex than I imagined – Garcia opens up a world that most of us are lucky enough not to have anything to do with. Garcia himself was not that lucky. His own father disappeared when he was just 7, and that loss has informed his life since then. Although this is indeed a personal and heart-felt memoir, it is also primarily a really important examination of the subject, and although naturally Garcia’s emotions come through, it is by no means a “misery memoir” and he manages to remain objective and non-judgemental throughout. I really feel that I learned a lot from this book and it is an important and relevant read.

[Cleopatra Pullen · Rating 3 out of 5]

As non-fiction books go there aren't many that delve into the reasons why people go missing, or perhaps more poignantly, what happens next.

In order to make sense of his own story and his 'missing' father Christobal who vanished from the nuclear family of his mother, Francisco and Christobal when he was young although a further appearance was made before he vanished from sight soon after he was visited in Spain by his eight-year old son.

This book looks at the reasons why some people go missing and in a rather naïve, although hopeful, way suggests solutions such as reversing austerity policies and funding mental health provisions and safety nets.

Sadly the book mirrors the disjointed journey its author took in his search for meaning of what happened to his father, and more importantly, why. While I learnt much and had some of my preconceptions challenged this was far from an easy read, which is only to be expected.

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't usually persevere with books that I'm not wholly engaged by these days, but I guess I kept hoping for more with this one.

It's a cross between a slightly melancholic memoir on the authors missing father and a fairly superficial examination of what causes people to go missing and the responses of various agencies. It's a broad overview, with very little first person experience from the missing, those left, or those who were missing but subsequently returned - and I think it could have done with more examination of those experiences to flesh it out.

The blurb misleadingly suggests that García's is ready to search for his father, but that is something that, despite visiting his paternal family home town and failing to seek contact with any possible remaining family, he doesn't actually undertake, so the ending is a bit irritating. In fact I'm still trying to work out the point of the book

[MReads · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting book which merged the story of the author’s father’s disappearance with stories of other disappearances and a discussion of societal pressures and struggles that mean that people do disappear. I found it easy to read, and thoughtful, but also thought that coming from different angles meant that it didn’t quite settle at any point (that may of course have been the author’s intention).

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautifully written reflection on/investigation of what it means to go missing and the social context that makes it possible for people to disappear. It added a lot of nuance and complexity to my understanding of the issue. It was also very emotionally honest without ever venturing into schmaltz or cliche.

[Paloma · Rating 3 out of 5]

Review in English | Reseña en Español
This book is the perfect example as to how stories can make an impact -or not - depending on the context and the time when we read them. Given its title “If you Were there: Missing People and the Marks they leave behind,” I was misled into thinking that the book was going to be about missing people in the context of war or a crime: basically a very violent context. But don’t get me wrong - it is not that I am specifically looking for this type of stories but rather than, living in Mexico, and being Mexican, the topic of forced disappearances due to organized crime is a vivid, daily reality which is not easy to forget. The most recent data shows that in Mexico, more than 100,000 people have gone missing since 2006. This means 27 people disappear each day in the country as a result of organized crime, including drug and human trafficking, kidnappings and murders.

Francisco Garcia’s book deals with a completely different issue, and while by no means I want to suggest this makes it bad, it deals with an angle I was not expecting. Garcia writes about the disappearance of his father, a man who left him and his mother, when he was just a child. His father, a Spanish immigrant, could not cope with discrimination and other feelings when living in the U.K. and the disease of his wife. And he left, returning to his home country. This is the starting point for an essay about people who have basically chosen to disappear. And while their reasons are valid -mental health problems, the difficulties of living in a new country as an immigrant, and self-esteem issues- in a way, when compared with the way disappearances occur in my country, I could not help but feel a bit detached from the story. Don’t get me wrong: all missing people leave a void, and their loss is devastating for families and friends. But choosing to disappear is different from being forced to disappear. And in this case (and I know I am being very subjective) the topic just hits differently when you live in a country where you are not given a choice to stay or leave.

________

Este libro es el ejemplo perfecto de cómo las historias pueden impactarnos -o no- dependiendo del contexto y del momento en el que las encontramos. Dado su título, que se traduce más o menos como “Si estuvieras aquí: personas desaparecidas y las marcas que dejan”, pensé que el libro iba a tratar sobre personas desaparecidas en el contexto de la guerra o el crimen: básicamente un contexto muy violento. Pero no quiero ser malinterpretada: no es que esté buscando este tipo de historias pero, viviendo en México y siendo mexicana, el tema de las desapariciones forzadas por culpa del crimen organizado es una realidad cotidiana que no es fácil olvidar. Los datos más recientes muestran que en México más de 100,000 personas han desaparecido desde 2006. Esto significa que 27 personas desaparecen cada día en el país como consecuencia del crimen organizado, incluyendo cárteles de drogas, ajuste de cuentas, tráfico de personas, secuestros y asesinatos.

El libro de Francisco García trata un tema completamente diferente, y aunque de ninguna manera quiero sugerir que sea malo, aborda un ángulo que no esperaba. García escribe sobre la desaparición de su padre, un hombre que los abandonó a él y a su madre, cuando él era apenas un niño. Su padre, un inmigrante español, no pudo hacer frente a la discriminación y otros sentimientos cuando vivía en el Reino Unido y la enfermedad de su esposa. Y se fue. Este es el punto de partida de un ensayo sobre personas que básicamente han elegido desaparecer. Y si bien estas razones son válidas -problemas de salud mental, las dificultades de vivir en un nuevo país como inmigrante y problemas de autoestima-, en cierto modo, en comparación con la forma en que ocurren las desapariciones en mi país, no pude evitar sentirme un poco desconectada del relato. Ahora bien, no sugiero que una desaparición sea menos importante que otra. Al contrario: todas las personas desaparecidas dejan un vacío y su pérdida es devastadora para sus familiares y amigos. Pero elegir desaparecer es diferente a verse obligado a desaparecer. Y en este caso (y sé que estoy siendo muy subjetiva), el tema te afecta de forma distinta cuando vives en un país donde no tienes la opción de quedarte o irte.

[Octavia Lavender · Rating 4 out of 5]

If You Were There is the story of Francisco Garcia and his Dad, Christobal, who left and disappeared without a trace. Twenty years have now passed and Francisco is finally ready to look for answers. This non-fiction book is an exploration of missing people and the mark they leave behind. It also delves into the work of the people who try and find the missing. Throughout the book Francisco interviews and talks to both friends and strangers, people who have been affected by missing persons or who have tried to help reunite people in some way.

I really enjoyed reading this book. It felt very personal yet was filled with facts and figures about missing persons that were really eye opening. I first read Francisco Garcia's writing when I came across his now widespread VICE article 'The Man Who Deleted His Past Before He Was Found Dead' and so I was keen to request this when I saw it on NetGalley.

Thanks to #NetGalley and #HarperCollinsUK for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[David Johnston · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of the first non-fiction books I’ve finished in a long time; the author speaks to a wide range of sources to accumulate various definitions of what it means to be missing and what the implications of this status are on a person and those around them.

I found it really thought provoking to ponder “the right to go missing” as it is brought up that a person may make a decision to try and disappear for a few days for a reset when things get too much, but this is all but impossible without close ones declaring them missing amidst their concern (especially in our modern age of permanent connection). The fact that some people get to this stage speaks volumes about the country, or maybe even world’s, access to mental health support and the book does talk about this throughout.

The content is presented in a very enticing manner, sometimes reading a bit like a noir detective fiction interwoven with a theme of personal journey. I learned a lot and always had something to share after each chapter.

[Sriya · Rating 4 out of 5]

fascinating and moving

[Tom Victor · Rating 5 out of 5]

A sensitive and thoughtful look at a subject often left untouched, which helps the reader understand how hard it is to write about something like this. It’s predominantly about missing people, sure, but it also says a great deal about the fragility of so many aspects of our lives.

[Lily · Rating 4 out of 5]

A deeply personal and sympathetic take on a subject which is often written about in a cold or callous way. Thoroughly enjoyed.

[Jacky · Rating 5 out of 5]

"What the dead and the living missing share is this: they are both mostly unknown and unknowable. They are nowhere to us, even if they must be somewhere."

When he was eight years old, Francisco Garcia’s Spanish father disappeared from his life. His English mother had died of breast cancer the previous year, and the young Francisco was brought up by an aunt and a grandmother. At 27, the English-speaking Londoner with the Spanish name is a journalist and writer. He decides it is time to re-engage with the story of his absent father, and to follow his traces. This book is his journey, but alongside the search for his father, this is an exploration of what it means to be missing, and especially, what it means to those left behind.

"But here I am, bound on a journey of discovery of his fate, which maybe has no definite, or even desired, conclusion. There is no certainty of what and who might be found. And far beyond my thoughts of him there is the whole shadow world of the missing that I have spent so much time trying to document and make sense of in my professional life as a journalist and writer."

I was drawn to this book partly by my own personal history as an adopted child who tracked down her birth mother 40 years later; and partly by a book published in 2004 which had a profound impact on me at the time. The Missing by Andrew O'Hagan, written when he was a similar age to Francisco now, is a voyage of discovery through a Glasgow childhood in the 70s, his awareness of people who vanished from his world seemingly without trace extending out to encompass the wider world of "mispers", the term used by the police to denote a missing person.

O’Hagan’s book appeared in the decade following the arrest in the UK of Fred and Rose West, notorious serial killers responsible for preying on vulnerable young women over a 20- year period, sexually abusing and murdering them, including two of their own children, and burying them in the foundations of their house in Gloucester. Among others, O’Hagan explores the background of the missing women who became the Wests’ victims, even attending the trial and talking to local people who knew some of them. I had a personal interest in this, too, as Gloucester was my parents’ home town, and the trial itself was held in the country town I grew up in. The retrospective knowledge that the Wests were trawling the fairgrounds, highways and clubs of the Gloucester area hunting their victims, when I was a teenager blithely fumbling my way to adulthood in those very same places, was creepy to say the least.

Returning to the present, the thread that links Francisco Garcia’s book to Andrew O’Hagan’s is the broader socio-economic context of the UK. As Garcia notes: "In London alone, the number of reported missing person cases has increased 77 per cent since 2010." (BBC News, October 2018). In the almost 20 years between O’Hagan’s and Garcia’s books, the social situation has deteriorated, and the gap between the haves and the have-nots has widened exponentially. What is significant about Garcia’s book is that the people he talks to are mostly part of what is now the mainstream. They could be you or I, but for a little bad luck. The economic shift of the last 20 years has pushed more and more people to what we once thought of as the periphery of society. Garcia’s comment that "The missing tell us about things about society, from their unique place neither quite inside nor outside of it," is an echo of O’Hagan’s findings two decades previously.

Even back in 2004, the UK was one of the most surveilled countries in the world, with more CCTV cameras than anywhere else in Europe. The fact that, despite advanced technology, people can still be impossible to trace is also testimony to the transience of our world, and how quickly people fade from social consciousness, a phenomenon that preoccupies both writers. O’Hagan’s book precedes the very public 2007 disappearance of Madeleine McCann, but he would have agreed with Garcia’s comment that "[such stories] represent a tiny fraction of an incomplete picture. Most of the missing are left in silence, far away from the public eye; the many thousands of stories that go untold and are perhaps never even recorded, every year."

Yet where O’Hagan’s journey departs from his childhood and takes us into some very dark places, Garcia’s odyssey remains rooted in his own search, with his work as a journalist running parallel as he travels around the UK talking to those who have lost loved ones, documenting their background stories, trying to make sense of what it means to be missing someone. Garcia is a very lucid writer, his prose fluid and with precise imagery. The story of his parents, Stephanie and Christobal, is touching and fascinating in itself, as is his portrayal of those he meets on his travels. He connects with old friends and acquaintances from his time at university in Glasgow, and he meets new friends across the UK through the organisations that help to trace missing persons. The chapter headings track the progression of his work as he seeks to understand what it is that drives people away, why they return, and how those left behind process their absence.

Somewhere in the midst of this crowded landscape, as I sought to follow the story threads of the different people, I found myself hoping for a conclusion to Francisco’s own story. Perhaps I cheated a little, zipping forward on my Kindle to see the title of the last chapter. Once I had satisfied myself that he does reach the end of his own journey in one way or another, I settled in to enjoy the rest of the book. I will not spoil it for you by revealing any more about Francisco’s journey, but if the subject matter grips you, this is a deeply felt, beautifully written book that raises many questions about the society we live in.

In spite of the subject matter, this is a hopeful and uplifting book. To anyone who has missed a friend, family member, partner, it will feel familiar, wherever you live. This is a book I will return to time and again, one that seeks to find answers to the questions we pose about our lives, and one that forces us, perhaps, to look in the mirror, to see what we have in common rather than what divides us.

[birdie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley for giving me a digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.

'If You Were There (...)' is a story of Francisco Garcia whose dad disappeared from his life when he was a kid. This traumatic event left an imprint on the boy, who had no idea why his father left him and his mom. Twenty years later, the author goes to great lenghts to find the answers. This non-fiction book is a thorough exploration of missing and what happens to those who were left behind.

I requested this book simply because the premise seemed so intriguing to me that I couldn't help but get interested in it the moment I saw it. The first chapter piqued my interest, but while I was reading on, it slowly vanished. There was too much data for my taste and some of the descriptions were too lengthy. My disappointment may come from the fact that I expected it to be a memoir, so I could dive deep into Garcia's feelings about this tragic event. However, some of the stories in it were truly fascinating. I recommend this book to everyone who wants to expand their knowledge when it comes to the subject of missing, but if you are one of those who look for an emotional, poignant reading experience, this book may be a miss for you.

[Daisy Bee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Part memoir, part critical examination of a society that has allowed so many people to fall through the cracks in this age of austerity.

The writers father disappeared from his life shortly after the death of his mother. The unanswered questions lead him to consider other people's stories and he meets people working on the frontline, whether it be those doggedly searching for the missing, or those providing support to the rough sleepers. He asks why people choose to leave their lives. What happens to those left behind? How do you move forward when you never know where a loved one is?

Deeply sad, and a shocking testament to a broken system, there are still moments of hope. Those who dedicate their time to the missing and the left behind. Those who have lost a loved one, but who channel their grief into helping others.

And as the writer demonstrates, sometimes not knowing is in itself, a choice.

[sgh · Rating 3 out of 5]

A really comprehensive look into what it means to be missing and how people come to be missing. I personally just found it too dry, and struggled to finish it, often skim reading large sections. I think this has more to do with my expectations coming into reading it, as I was expecting it to me more of memoir, but it felt more like a long-form guardian article. Lots of statistics, cases, and charity, but little emotional pull or feeling, which is what I usually look for.

[Lalla Lovaro · Rating 3 out of 5]

Francisco Garcia is a British journalist in his late 20s on the search for answers to his father's disappearance 20 years earlier. As Francisco expands on his backstory and the motivation to write this book, we hear about his father's struggles as a working class Spanish migrant to London in the '90s, his parents' love story, his father's incremental difficulty to adapt to his new environment and to his new found status as a young father. While we hear more about his mother's premature death when he is still a boy and of being brought up by his grandmother who will also pass 10 years later, his father will remain a mystery to Francisco just as his paternal language and country do,

Along the way on this personal quest. Francisco visits and revisits other avenues and stories in order to resolve the puzzle of missing people. He interviews voluntary agencies and police forces working in the search for people reported missing, homelessness services, agencies operating within the world of unclaimed and/or unidentified corpses, accidental deaths, modern day slavery academics and campaigners, etc.

I cared more for the personal story than the journalistic section and ultimately that got in the way for me. The journalistic style was as superficial and approximative as you would expect mainstream journalism to offer. I would have loved to hear more from actual people who have decided to drop everything and take off, but we only get one first hand interview of that nature and it is not a particularly illuminating one other than in terms of the handling of it by involved agencies (i.e. the police) and the need for improvement there. When it came to material which I am more familiar with due to my own profession, the lack of depth and understanding of the subject matter was more evident to me (e.g. loc 1085/3472 "Paramedics and healthcare workers will look to see if people can retain and repeat information, though police have a different criteria, as do social services, who work by the 2014 Care Assessment Act": for starters what is being referred to here is the Care Act 2014, not the Care Assessment Act. But more generally, all mentioned services should be following the Mental Capacity Act 2005, so no, no different criteria here though for sure the application of the legislation may vary in terms of competence).

I found the ending maddening, but fair enough: it is not for me to apply my judgement to Francisco's decision making. It is a very personal journey.
Ultimately I felt there were some good nuggets in this book, and I was invested in the personal narrative thread.
I just wish the author had the confidence to run with that and had set himself free from the shackles of pedestrian journalism.
So for these reasons, though I'm giving this a 2.5 stars, I am rounding it all up to 3 stars.


Many thanks to Mudlark (HarperCollins UK Nonfiction) and NetGalley for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Nicky Maunder · Rating 5 out of 5]

I went into this read thinking it was all about Garcia’s reflections on his life, following the disappearance of his father at a young age. And whilst he does cover the deeply personal impacts, reflections and consequences of this, it’s more than that.

Garcia covers various aspects to ‘the missing’, including what it means to be missing - both from the family left behind, the statutory agencies searching, and the voluntary/community sector organisations that cover the gaps that reducing investment in public services has necessitated, and more crucially those who choose to go missing and some of the circumstances that can surround this.

And it is fascinating, heartbreaking and in some parts hopeful. It’s so sad as you hear the complicated loss and grief experienced by those left behind, particularly in those cases where there’s no conclusion. Not only does he draw on his own personal experience, he interviews friends who have been similarly affected, others who have been affected and also some of those who have returned. What was particularly poignant for me was the lack of support for those who do return, but had challenges in their life that they wanted to escape from, and when they come back they’re pretty much left to their own devices.

An engaging, heartbreaking and fascinating read/listen. Garcia is great narrating his own story. I liked how he chose that his own life will not be defined by his father’s disappearance, and surely that’s a healing step. Recommended!

[Lucy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very interesting and eye opening nonfiction book telling the real life circumstances of Francisco’s father and how he walked out of the family home and was never seen again. Missing. This explores the entire concept around missing people and the loved ones they leave behind. Full of alarming statistics about how many people go missing each year, how the police deal with such cases, why people may want to go off the radar completely and what happens when/if they returns.

Francisco reports on many different perspectives, interviews those who have been effected and filled this book with his compassion, non judgemental findings. I found this fascinating and emotional to read. The reason this took longer to read than normal is because I had to stop and compose myself several times. Some of this is utterly heartbreaking. Perhaps it’s because there are some parts that are incredibly relatable for me.

This book includes contacts for The Missing People charity, as well as numerous other support groups and help lines, making this much more than a memoir. I definitely recommend this book to all, well worth the read!

Thank you Netgalley and Harper Collins UK for a gifted digital copy of this, in exchange for an honest review.

[Gemma Milne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a beautiful read. Thought-provoking, touching, a mixture of memoir and reportage, and a book which I felt like I melted into and was taken along on the ride for.

It’s about missing people and the people they leave behind - from Garcia’s own story with his own missing dad to the scores of different kinds of ‘missing’: the homeless, the ones who leave, the taken, the unknown found. It brings up so many questions that hadn’t really crossed my mind before, despite my own (along with much of society’s) obsession with true crime and headline missing stories - about what really ‘counts’ as missing, about the right to be forgotten, about the focus on those gone and less on those who come (or are forced) back.

It turns out the author has spent much of his life in various parts of Scotland, along with being based in South-East London - which, as someone who has also lived in many parts of both these places, was an utter joy to read. He captured the ones I knew (and knew not-so-well) so beautifully.

I’m still thinking about it a few days after I finished, and I’m sure it’ll do the same for you. Highly recommend.

[LilyRose · Rating 5 out of 5]

If You Were There: People and the Marks They Leave Behind by Francisco Garcia is a powerful, poignant memoir that explores the missing through the lense of the author’s own search for his father. The nonfiction book examines the meaning of missing, how it is documented by the police, charity organisations and social media, what it means to be missing and why people vanish from their lives. It also explores the impact this has on the people left behind and if someone returns what aftercare or help they have access to. Through his research the author presents a vivid, essential portrait of society today and shows how as individuals and collectively we can change, help and heal. The book highlights an array of pressing social issues that often surround and lead people to go missing. Illuminating and engaging. This intimate search for a missing father broadens the landscape on the understanding of missing persons and the people who live everyday with the shadow of their missing.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a review copy in exchange for honest feedback.

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an intriguing and fascinating dive into the number of people who go missing, what is done to find them, and what happens to the people left behind. Francisco García’s father left when he was seven. He has an empathy with the people he talks to, whether those left behind or those who work in agencies and charities trying to find them. Overall the book is very moving and thought provoking. Why do people choose to disappear? What proportion come back or are found?

Some of the people interviewed have lived lives in limbo uncertain where their relatives or friends are and what has happened to them. The people working in the sector understand some of the many, many reasons people have to just walk away from their lives. It certainly gets under your skin. But this is not a depressing book. It is written with a framework of whether the author should search for his father. I won’t give any spoilers but if this is an idea you find interesting, this book will give you much to think about.

I was given a copy of this book by Netgalley

[Tina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

This is a non fiction book about one man’s quest to find his Father. His Father Christobel was an addict when he walked out on him and his mother in the middle of the night never to be seen again. This prompted Francisco to look into the wider issue of missing people. The majority of this book is interviews with representatives of different agencies everything from Police to people who arrange funerals for those with no known relatives. Some agencies you will have heard of others you won’t have.

The book was okay but not what I was expecting. I expected it to be more of a memoir of a man’s quest to find his Father. This was more of a deep dive into all the different agencies that have dealings with missing people. This was quite an interesting read especially hearing from someone who had gone miss but came back. You don’t often get to hear from the missing persons point of view.

[Kathryn Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given an ARC audiobook copy free through Netgalley.
A moving and thought provoking look at what it means to be a missing person, the reasons why and how people go missing or find themselves in situations in life from which they choose to go missing, and the impact it has on those left behind. I loved learning about Garcia's own experiences with his father, and he brought up many things I'd never considered before - how do we define when to class someone as a missing person? Why might someone choose to leave, making themselves a missing person? And what about those who do not wished to be searched for, whose lives can be negatively impacted by the endless sharing on social media? I also thought it was particularly interesting as a British person to learn more about these issues based in the UK, the UK charities working to help the missing as well as those looking for the missing, and the role of British police within these issues.

[Bee Jay · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ok, I admit it; I didn't read every word. Some of this book...some of the descriptions, the things that happen to the missing, the incredible numbers...I skimmed bits of that. I had to. This book is written so openly, so simply, it was like sitting down beside Francisco and listening to him talk directly to me.

The range of people, of stories, in this book was incredible. I learned about groups I've never heard of before (and hope I never have to approach, to be quite honest) and listened to stories from everyone Francisco talked to. Even a small thing like hearing how the groups adapted to the Covid crisis was interesting.

This is beautifully written, very informative, and I enjoyed it a lot.

[Charlotte · Rating 4 out of 5]

When he is seven years old Francisco Garcia's father Christobal leaves his family and is not heard from again. Twenty years later Francisco is ready to start the journey to search for answers about what really happened.

This was a deeply personal and emotional audiobook to listen to and as Francisco was the narrator it made a stronger emotional impact. His personal experience with having a loved one go missing as well as speaking to police officers, people who work to find the missing and other people who have experienced the same loss made this a beautiful but heart breaking must read.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of the audiobook in exchange for an honest review

[Beatriz Lucas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this.
It's a good research walk through the homeless, mental health, displacement, impacts on those remaining, all through the author's personal journey.

As someone who's also half Spanish and grew up in England, with a proud, and present, Spanish father, I did get an education on Spanish culture and the language. In spite of this, as a kid, teen and young adult, I felt disassociated to the culture until I moved to Spain in my late 20s. It was fascinating hearing about Francisco's impressions on a culture that also at one time felt alien but that is an integral part of who I am.

I gave it 4 stars simply because I wanted to know more, but understand that the story still continues...

It's a really easy read, a great book. Looking forward to the next one.

[Jen Burrows · Rating 4 out of 5]

If You Were There is a thoughtful and empathic exploration of 'the missing' and the human stories behind the statistics.

Simply unpicking the definition of a 'missing person' is interesting in itself; there is no way of telling why or how a person might become missing. Garcia weaves together a variety of different stories, looking at the experiences of people who have been missing, the organisations working to support them and those left behind. It's an astute and comprehensive piece of journalistic non-fiction written with real sensitivity, never losing sight of the personal story at its heart.

*Thank you to Netgalley for the arc in exchange for an honest review*