Being Present: Commanding Attention at Work (and at Home) by Managing Your Social Presence

by Jeanine W. Turner

Survival strategies for communicating in a notification-saturated world As our ability to pay attention in a world of distractions vanishes, it's no wonder that our ability to be heard and understood--to convey our messages--is also threatened. Whether working with our teams and customers or communicating with our families and friends, it is increasingly difficult to break through the digital devices that get in the way of communication. And the ubiquity of digital devices means that we are often multicommunicating, participating in multiple conversations at once. As a result, our ability to be socially present with an audience requires an intentional approach. This increased strain on attention has never been more clear than during the global pandemic, when our homes suddenly accommodated both work and family life. What are our options when facing professional communications at all hours? Do we ask for the technology to be put away at the dinner table? Establish other ground rules? What about using digital communications to our advantage--how can we facilitate information-sharing in the midst of a world where we are overwhelmed with content?

Genres: Nonfiction, Business, Self Help, Psychology, Productivity

192 pages, Hardcover

First published January 10, 2022

Reviews

[Maia O'Meara · Rating 3 out of 5]

The findings and narrative of this book felt so contextually specific, even if the author was suggesting broader lessons. Communication and presentation during the COVID lockdown and in a mostly remote/hybrid work environment is important, but I’m not sure the length and story line of this book were necessary to explain that. There was also a constant tension between universalizing experiences that were not necessarily shared and I don’t think that was meaningfully addressed. Overall, some good lessons from many years of interviews and research, but couched in language mostly relevant in an MBA program rather than broader context.

I hoped that there would be more focus on being the listener, as well as the presenter, and your role and ability to focus there as well. While there were some lessons learned on that front, it mostly required reading between the lines.

[Patina Malinalli · Rating 5 out of 5]

I give this book five stars because it was thorough, but I didn't really agree with its conclusions. Jeanine W. Turner talks about how to manage your social presence in the workplace. I did not agree with all of her determinations, but some are interesting.

p. 176
"You basically have three possible choices when facing mismatch: [i/] give in to your communicator's choice, ignore or overlook their choice, [/i] or [i/] actively discuss the mismatch. Let's discuss each of these options so you can make a more informed decision about the implications of your choice."
- The "choice" here is whether to ban cell phones or allow people to decide for themselves (in regards to business meetings, educational settings or family events).

[Karen Kranack · Rating 5 out of 5]

Let's face it: phones, TikTok, Zoom meetings, hybrid working, you name it--it's all technology that's here to stay. It's unrealistic to think that people are really going to put their devices down in the office, in the classroom or at dinner. I struggle with this. We're all up against extreme odds in getting people to REALLY be present and pay attention to us, and at the same time, it's just so easy to be distracted by your own technology. I appreciate that Jeanine Turner points out that it's not an either/or proposition. She puts forward a number of ways we can optimize how, when, and where we communicate to optimize meaningful exchanges. It's all about choice and bringing intentionality to HOW we communicate with others. It's fluid: it can flex and change throughout the course of conversation. There might be times when you need to demand attention (entitled presence), although that often doesn't work so well, but sometimes it can, if it's for short durations. There are times when you have to calibrate how much you are interacting in a given moment (budgeted presence). And there are times when you can bring the other person actively into choosing how to communicate (invitational presence), among others.

We are whole people bringing our whole selves to work, and play. It's important to be aware of how and when we communicate, especially because we are mostly mediated by technology at this point. This book gives excellent real-world examples in the home and at work that everyone can relate to, and has helped me to be a lot more thoughtful when I interact with, well, everyone!

[Karla Ticona · Rating 3 out of 5]

El capítulo del presupuesto de la presencia, donde uno divide su atención para estar en varias reuniones a la vez o conversaciones a la vez, es escalofriante si te pones a pensar... significa que nuestra capacidad como seres humanos para mantenernos concentrados, dando full presencia a otra persona en frente de nosotros está directamente proporcional al grado de interesante / entretenido / necesario / urgente.

Y eso, nos quida nuestra humanidad a los seres humanos. Irónico ¿no?

Un par de lecciones, es que no se puede obligar a la gente a que deje sus dispositivos en ambientes de trabajo y en espacios de la vida personal, pero uno puede observar el comportamiento que no nos gusta de los demás, para tratar de nosotros comportarnos como quisiéramos que el otro se porte.

Me pareció curioso que el libro trajera muchos ejemplos de Qatar, cuando ahorita se está celebrando el mundial de fútbol en Qatar y yo estoy eligiendo leer todos los libros que pueda en lugar de ver o enterarme del fútbol.

El tip más obvio, pero a tener cuidado es cuidar tu sueño, tus horas de sueño.
Quitar las notificaciones de tu celular.
Usar un reloj despertador.

Hacer invitaciones a la presencia en el trabajo, pero a su vez, tratar de hacer las reuniones efectivas y no dar muchas vueltas, dilatar los temas, tener una agenda.

Un desafío es tratar de tener una conversación a la vez, por vez. Y tratar de cuidar nuestra presencia, practicarla como un hábito y disfrutar de nuestro camino llamado vida.

[Erika Derr · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fantastic book, with critical relevance for all facets of life. Turner’s call to understand and choose intentionally our social presence is a necessary and constant task, which (I think) most people don’t fully grasp. I appreciated how Turner doesn’t engage in ranking the types of presence or casting some in a negative light; each of the four types of social presence has a place in our daily life, but bringing awareness to them and learning to actively manage — or better, choose — social presence is a skill needed by each of us, daily.

[Varis Kumar Kalia · Rating 3 out of 5]

To solve a problem, you must understand the problem first. This book does a decent job of defining problems in communication due to technology. However, it feels that it could have been a lot more brief and could have done better with more actionable items to make readers aware of possible solutions. It could have had more points of action rather points of reflection.

Overall a decent read casually but did not feel like value for money.

[Stefan Bruun · Rating 2 out of 5]

Most people can probably agree that being more present (not distracted by digital devices) would be a good thing.
The author spends a majority of the book on explaining different ways where presence is compromised and how it may be bad. Despite the importance of the point, it seems rather trivial and could probably have been a blog post rather than a full book.

[Michelle M · Rating 5 out of 5]

What I liked the most about Being Present is that the book provides concrete strategies on how to get and keep the attention of others when they are constantly on their phones. Great read!

[Angela Cooper · Rating 3 out of 5]

Being DISTRACTED in a digital world. I think we should all read this book. We have lost the meaning of being present.

[Tiffany · Rating 2 out of 5]

Could have been summaries in a way shorter magazine article! Which is ironic!