The Second: A Memoir of Love and Commitment

by Colleen Burns Durda

Discover the page-turning, first-person story of a woman gripped by the onset of bipolar disorder, the threats to her marriage and how she eventually tames the beast of mental illness.I knew I needed a break. I didn’t realize I’d had one.An unanticipated pregnancy for a suburban Minneapolis mother of three rocks her world in 1987. Determined to gain control of her life, she seeks care from a friendly OB-GYN. Boundaries blur after the child arrives and she finds herself distracted by the imagined relationship with the gynecologist. Her marriage and mental health on the brink of collapse, she takes a leap of faith one hot summer night and becomes convinced she’s the Second Coming. Her revelations land her in a psychiatric ward.With hard-earned wisdom and insight, she recalls the intervening years dealing with bipolar disorder, the trial and error of various psychiatrists and the methods she discovers to help alleviate the disorder on her own. She raises her children and the dynamics of her marriage continue to evolve after she uncovers a devastating personal secret. Can the marriage survive? Will the doctor continue to play a role in her life? Alternately funny and moving, The A Memoir of Love and Commitment depicts how mental illness sometimes affects lives right next door.An inspiring, hopeful book about a regular mom facing extraordinary circumstances whose mission is to end the stigma surrounding healthcare for mental illness.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology

214 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 22, 2021

About the author

A native of the Twin Cities, Colleen Burns Durda spent her formative years in a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio. She developed a lifelong love of libraries and books while there, often visiting her local branch and dreaming of someday seeing her work among the stacks.

Today, she is a mental health advocate and memoirist. Ms. Durda welcomes questions from readers and encourages them to contact her via her website.

Reviews

[Carla Cable · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you don't have this high on your "to read" list, you need to. I am typically not a fan of reading memoirs, yet this book is a memoir and a wake up call to all of us. We need to educate ourselves on mental health issues and furthermore, become comfortable under our own skin to ask questions and find compassion for those dealing with mental health issues in their lives.

Colleen Burns Durda took us through her adult life and how the experiences of her "healthy body, with a compromised mind" led her astray. Her eloquent writing (you will laugh and cry) makes us witness when her "triggers lurked, ready to set off the spring loaded trap".

The author had a horrific experience with someone we look to, to be a medical "professional". To read how this person uses power differential and caused so much pain is practically unfathomable.

Thank goodness Colleen Burns Durda found the respect of doctors such as Dr. Berger. And to find herself in a support group where she could speak freely to people struggling with the same issues. This gave her the feeling of being capable and competent so she could deal with the "enemy within her own mind".

Colleen Burns Durda is clear on how mental illness was on display in front of her husband (her rock, a man of true devotion) and children. One (of many) quotes is "Do you know who I am? I'm somebody's grandmother. I raised four children. I own two homes, two expensive cars, and throw really fun parties. I came to you for help, and now you're sitting on me and sedating me like an animal. I'm lucid deep inside these eyes. Look at me. I am not a case or a patient. I am a human being."

To Colleen Burns Durda..., yes the power to heal is in your hands and heart. You are living the truth now. I agree - you are a survivor, not a victim. A book like this will help end the stigma. "The truth will set you free." ..... You learned to "Iive happily in 5." Thank you.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won a copy of this book from Goodreads -- thank you!

This is easily the best written book of all the self published books I've won on Goodreads. The author tells of her struggles with mental illness and hospitalizations, as well as the affects they have on her marriage.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book and I highly recommend it to anyone interested in learning more about the resilience needed from those suffering with mental illness and the self advocacy that is absolutely needed to survive the US healthcare system.

It’s challenging to be mentally in 2022, but WOW was it impossible to handle throughout the last century. The Author’s experiences with dismissive doctors, social stigma, shoddy insurance coverage, and traumatizing hospital stays were horrendous.

I’m really glad Colleen was open enough to write this book. The more experiences shared, the more the stigma will be chipped away!

[Readerswith Heart · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Second: A Memoir of Love and Commitment is a powerful, honest, and deeply human memoir that stays with you long after the final page. Colleen Burns Durda writes with remarkable courage and vulnerability, inviting the reader into her lived experience of bipolar disorder, marriage, motherhood, and self-discovery in a way that feels raw yet compassionate.
What makes this book especially compelling is its first-person intimacy. The author doesn’t sensationalize mental illness; instead, she shows how it quietly and sometimes explosively weaves itself into everyday life doctor’s appointments, family dynamics, personal faith, and moments of fragile hope. Her account of blurred boundaries, delusion, hospitalization, and the long journey toward stability is both unsettling and enlightening, offering a rare inside look at how bipolar disorder can manifest and evolve.
Despite the heavy subject matter, the memoir balances pain with warmth, insight, and even humor. Durda’s reflections on marriage, forgiveness, and resilience are especially moving, as she explores whether love can survive profound strain and painful secrets. Her willingness to examine her own flaws and growth makes the story feel authentic rather than polished.
Most importantly, this book is inspiring without being preachy. It challenges stigma around mental illness and healthcare by showing the humanity behind the diagnosis. The Second is a hopeful reminder that healing is not linear, that identity is more than illness, and that ordinary people can face extraordinary circumstances with grace and determination.
Highly recommended for readers interested in memoirs, mental health narratives, and stories of resilience, love, and survival.