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Tears of My Mother: The Legacy of My Nigerian Upbringing
When star of Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Potomac Dr. Wendy Osefo was growing up, her mother was her everything. But when she became a mother herself, everything changed. In this “exquisitely-drawn portrait of the intense bond that only a mother can have with a daughter” (Katie Haufner, author of Mother Daughter Me ), Wendy explores how her Nigerian upbringing has affected her life, her success, and her role as a parent.
Wendy Osefo’s mother, Iyom Susan Okuzu, arrived in the United States from Nigeria with two things: a single suitcase and the fierce determination to make a better life for herself and her future family. And she succeeded: starting out working in a fast-food restaurant and ultimately becoming the director of nursing at a major metropolitan hospital.
While Susan may have taken pride in triumphing over every financial and emotional challenge, in Nigerian culture, a parent is only as successful as his or her children. And so her daughter, with gratitude and appreciation for her mother’s sacrifices, worked hard to meet every demand Susan made of her. With four advanced degrees and a position at Johns Hopkins University as a professor—as well as being a highly sought-after political commentator, a cherished wife, and a loving mother of three—Dr. Wendy has given her mother bragging rights for life. But at what cost to herself?
In Tears of My Mother , the star of The Real Housewives of Potomac describes growing up as a first-generation American, balancing two distinct cultures. And she takes a critical look at the paradox of her mother’s parenting: approval conditioned by achievement. As a teenager, Wendy struggled to carve out her own identity while still walking the narrow path of her mother’s expectations. Unwavering family loyalty and obedience gave Wendy the road map to making it in America, but it also drove a wedge between mother and daughter, never more so than when she began to build her own family.
“A love letter to Dr. Osefo’s mother and first-generation immigrants all across America” ( Library Journal ), this book is for anyone who has faced conflict in the mother-daughter relationship or wondered how much of their own upbringing they want to pass on to the next generation.
Wendy Osefo’s mother, Iyom Susan Okuzu, arrived in the United States from Nigeria with two things: a single suitcase and the fierce determination to make a better life for herself and her future family. And she succeeded: starting out working in a fast-food restaurant and ultimately becoming the director of nursing at a major metropolitan hospital.
While Susan may have taken pride in triumphing over every financial and emotional challenge, in Nigerian culture, a parent is only as successful as his or her children. And so her daughter, with gratitude and appreciation for her mother’s sacrifices, worked hard to meet every demand Susan made of her. With four advanced degrees and a position at Johns Hopkins University as a professor—as well as being a highly sought-after political commentator, a cherished wife, and a loving mother of three—Dr. Wendy has given her mother bragging rights for life. But at what cost to herself?
In Tears of My Mother , the star of The Real Housewives of Potomac describes growing up as a first-generation American, balancing two distinct cultures. And she takes a critical look at the paradox of her mother’s parenting: approval conditioned by achievement. As a teenager, Wendy struggled to carve out her own identity while still walking the narrow path of her mother’s expectations. Unwavering family loyalty and obedience gave Wendy the road map to making it in America, but it also drove a wedge between mother and daughter, never more so than when she began to build her own family.
“A love letter to Dr. Osefo’s mother and first-generation immigrants all across America” ( Library Journal ), this book is for anyone who has faced conflict in the mother-daughter relationship or wondered how much of their own upbringing they want to pass on to the next generation.
272 pages, Hardcover
Published September 20, 2022
12 people are currently reading
3956 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
September 21, 2023
A very standard Bravo memoir disguised as something deeper and more meaningful when it's the same old surface-level (and occasionally hypocritical) stuff.
ETA: I don't know why, but I was upset to find out Wendy did not write this. It was ghostwritten by Valerie Frankel (who also did books with/for Snooki, Melissa Gorga, Big Ang, and Aviva Drescher, among others). I guess I expected that the housewife who goes on and on about her education and degrees and being a professor at Johns Hopkins would write her own book; she's likely one of the few Bravolebrities to actually possess the skills to do so, and she still took the easy way out.
ETA: I don't know why, but I was upset to find out Wendy did not write this. It was ghostwritten by Valerie Frankel (who also did books with/for Snooki, Melissa Gorga, Big Ang, and Aviva Drescher, among others). I guess I expected that the housewife who goes on and on about her education and degrees and being a professor at Johns Hopkins would write her own book; she's likely one of the few Bravolebrities to actually possess the skills to do so, and she still took the easy way out.
April 9, 2023
Note: I received this from a Goodreads giveaway. This is my unbiased review.
When I was perusing the titles on Goodreads for the giveaways, I can’t explain what about this book intrigued me. I had no clue who Dr. Wendy Osefo was. I’ve never watched an episode of any Real Housewives show, and have never seen her political commentary either. What intrigued me, I think, is the relationship between mothers and daughters. After reading this, I know we have a lot in common in that area.
Dr. Wendy Osefo is a first-generation Nigerian immigrant. She was born in Nigeria. When she was three years old, her mother left her father in Nigeria and took her two daughters to the United States. Wendy’s older sister Yvonne had been born in the United States, but they had followed their father back to Nigeria before Wendy was born. She takes a lot of time explaining the cultural differences between Nigeria and the United States. In the hierarchy of the family, the father is supposed to rule. When her mother, Susan, took her two daughters and left him, that was going against the cultural norms. Susan did that a number of times in her life and in how she raised her children. However, there are other cultural norms that Yvonne and Wendy were subjected to. I thought she did a great job explaining how her mother bucked the system at times, while at others seeming to embrace them.
The main objective of the lives of both Wendy and Yvonne seemed to be to achieve. Nigerians judge each other by how much their children achieve in life. For them, the only options growing up were to be a doctor, a lawyer, or (maybe) an engineer. They had to marry well and the spouse had to be Nigerian as well. There were no other options for them. This was drilled into them over and over again.
To read my full review, please go to: https://thoughtsfromthemountaintop.co...
When I was perusing the titles on Goodreads for the giveaways, I can’t explain what about this book intrigued me. I had no clue who Dr. Wendy Osefo was. I’ve never watched an episode of any Real Housewives show, and have never seen her political commentary either. What intrigued me, I think, is the relationship between mothers and daughters. After reading this, I know we have a lot in common in that area.
Dr. Wendy Osefo is a first-generation Nigerian immigrant. She was born in Nigeria. When she was three years old, her mother left her father in Nigeria and took her two daughters to the United States. Wendy’s older sister Yvonne had been born in the United States, but they had followed their father back to Nigeria before Wendy was born. She takes a lot of time explaining the cultural differences between Nigeria and the United States. In the hierarchy of the family, the father is supposed to rule. When her mother, Susan, took her two daughters and left him, that was going against the cultural norms. Susan did that a number of times in her life and in how she raised her children. However, there are other cultural norms that Yvonne and Wendy were subjected to. I thought she did a great job explaining how her mother bucked the system at times, while at others seeming to embrace them.
The main objective of the lives of both Wendy and Yvonne seemed to be to achieve. Nigerians judge each other by how much their children achieve in life. For them, the only options growing up were to be a doctor, a lawyer, or (maybe) an engineer. They had to marry well and the spouse had to be Nigerian as well. There were no other options for them. This was drilled into them over and over again.
To read my full review, please go to: https://thoughtsfromthemountaintop.co...
May 1, 2025
I’m admittedly a big RHOP and Dr. Wendy fan in general, I was excited to delve deeper into her story away from the Bravo lens. Her stories of being a first generation Nigerian immigrant, coupled with those of her own mother’s upbringing both contrast and complement each other in unique ways.
While obviously on a different scale as a white man, I found myself relating to Wendy’s struggles to find herself amongst her family and cultural dynamics, and learning what it means to make a place for herself. My only critique is the narration could have gone much faster, but it’s a minor quibble at best.
While obviously on a different scale as a white man, I found myself relating to Wendy’s struggles to find herself amongst her family and cultural dynamics, and learning what it means to make a place for herself. My only critique is the narration could have gone much faster, but it’s a minor quibble at best.
May 23, 2023
I had no idea who Dr. Wendy Osefo was before I read this, so I went into it with no pretext. I thought the first half of the book was really interesting, and I really liked learning about her experience as a first gen immigrant and the Nigerian community. The second half of the book was a bit slower and hard to get through, and at times seemed a little unnecessarily braggy. But it was a good story and I enjoyed it.
October 11, 2022
I like Dr Wendy Osefo’s memoir. I already admired her as the only PhD Nigerian professed from John Hopkins university and fox commenter in the Real Housewives of Potomac. She stands out because not only, she has brains, beauty, family ( wife and mother of 3!) but she is a first generation immigrant. As a dark skin women she brings in her memoir the perspective of Black immigrants. With pressure from her mother as a single parent in a foreign land in America, her mom provided a narrow path of success to follow and Wendy and her sister abided to it. It’s remarkable because the model minority is often associated to Asians but African descents are highly educated too. While Wendy focused mainly in Nigeria, the truth can be said of other African and Caribbean countries too. I think the fact that Nigeria is the largest population of Black Africans adds to the stats that they are the model BLACK minority in USA. I agree that there are other careers than doctor, lawyers and engineers for kids to follow successfully but being myself in the field of STEAM (science, Technology, Arts, Maths or Medicine), I say the Black community is absolutely absent. Rarely do I see a fellow black camarade. If I do they are mostly from the African continent. I think yes immigrants should encourage their children to go into these fields as we need more representation in these fields and contributions from Black communities in these fields too. I think that Wendy was blessed to have a parent drive her to her successful career. Most children don’t have that support in Black communities. I didn’t go into STEAM field because of my parents but mostly because I was driven to a field I could excel with my natural skills and interest. It helps as well to know that my parents were in these fields too in their country of origin and host country.I love this book because it spelled out well the conflicts that exists for first generation immigrants. Great book! I also liked that she described the complex relationship that exist at each stage of life with a mother and daughter.
October 30, 2022
I’ve never watched the Housewives. So I had no clue who Dr Wendy Osefo was.
Now I know, She is a proud first generation Nigerian in American.
The first few chapters, I was not sure if Wendy was minimizing and taking digs at black Americans, comparing their systemic inequalities that causes oppression to her very ambitious achievements as a Nigerian. At mid book, she came in full circle with social justice concerns and speaking up for black and browns in this country as a guest speaker on Fox News. Her educational achievements are palpable and remarkable as a black Nigerian woman, Congrats Dr Osefo!. She transforms in her book, into a person of color in this country that has made a mark in the Obama’s administration, as a professor at John Hopkins and a proud mother and wife. She had me once she named her first born son, Kruz! aka ( Cruz)
Throughout the book, her mother was the catalyst and the reminder of Wendy’s success. Sooooo many instances, Wendy’s mother Susan reminded me of my mother. So many similarities, although different ethnicities but same delivery, expectations and the culture being the prime source of the upbringing, the foundation of family unit that ultimately makes all the decisions in our lives. A true journey of a first generation Nigerian, taking what she learned in her upbringing and transforming it in her 2nd generation Nigerian children with new traditions and expectations.
Now I know, She is a proud first generation Nigerian in American.
The first few chapters, I was not sure if Wendy was minimizing and taking digs at black Americans, comparing their systemic inequalities that causes oppression to her very ambitious achievements as a Nigerian. At mid book, she came in full circle with social justice concerns and speaking up for black and browns in this country as a guest speaker on Fox News. Her educational achievements are palpable and remarkable as a black Nigerian woman, Congrats Dr Osefo!. She transforms in her book, into a person of color in this country that has made a mark in the Obama’s administration, as a professor at John Hopkins and a proud mother and wife. She had me once she named her first born son, Kruz! aka ( Cruz)
Throughout the book, her mother was the catalyst and the reminder of Wendy’s success. Sooooo many instances, Wendy’s mother Susan reminded me of my mother. So many similarities, although different ethnicities but same delivery, expectations and the culture being the prime source of the upbringing, the foundation of family unit that ultimately makes all the decisions in our lives. A true journey of a first generation Nigerian, taking what she learned in her upbringing and transforming it in her 2nd generation Nigerian children with new traditions and expectations.
October 17, 2022
I was not familiar with the author even one bit, but chose to listen to her immigrant experience. This part was done quite well, with a bit of hammering in on the through points. Though, I guess that was kind of the point-the unrelentingness of her mother's drive for her daughters to succeed on HER terms.
Her success is very admirable, up through her professorship and commentary career-I'm not sure if being on a silly reality show counts, and I paid little attention to those parts, which were mercifully short.
Everything was a little neat and tidy, and writing a memoir at a relatively young age does not allow for the perspective and tempering of resentments that might become possible over the decades. So, there is a bit of, 'They wronged you. We get it already.'
Her success is very admirable, up through her professorship and commentary career-I'm not sure if being on a silly reality show counts, and I paid little attention to those parts, which were mercifully short.
Everything was a little neat and tidy, and writing a memoir at a relatively young age does not allow for the perspective and tempering of resentments that might become possible over the decades. So, there is a bit of, 'They wronged you. We get it already.'
October 11, 2022
2.5 stars
If you're already a fan of Dr. Wendy Osefo, this book might interest you. If it's the exploration of a complicated mother-daughter relationship or the difficulties of growing up as a child of immigrants that is catching your eye, this would not be my first recommendation. It felt like a rather surface level and compared to other works (other memoirs, in particular) exploring the same ideas it lacked a certain punchiness.
If you're already a fan of Dr. Wendy Osefo, this book might interest you. If it's the exploration of a complicated mother-daughter relationship or the difficulties of growing up as a child of immigrants that is catching your eye, this would not be my first recommendation. It felt like a rather surface level and compared to other works (other memoirs, in particular) exploring the same ideas it lacked a certain punchiness.
February 24, 2024
4.5 star, which I will lower to a 4 star overall.
I have read a few "Housewives" books to date (Heather Gay-Salt Lake City; Garcelle Beauvais43e-Beverly Hills; Yoland Hadid-Beverly Hills; and Erika Jayne-Beverly Hills), see my other reviews for those stories. When I saw that Wendy had written her story, I wanted to read it to find out about this first generation immigrant from Nigeria, and one of my favorite people on Potomac.
First off, I will say that I enjoyed this book a lot. Much like Garcelle's book (an immigrant from Haiti), Wendy talks a lot about what her experience was like leaving Nigeria and being raised in the United States. Now, Wendy was only a toddler when she left Nigeria but, she was still raised within that culture, with all of its expectations, once she moved to the United States. I found it enjoyable to read about how Wendy was raised, as opposed to other people in the community. Wendy does discuss a lot about being raised in the "Nigerian bubble" and, I have to agree. Communities created with a shared experience of everyone being from the same place (in this case Nigeria) often create their own "world within the new world" for themselves so their children, while exposed to American culture, are still raised within their own cultural background. I think Wendy does an excellent job of explaining Nigeria culture, traditions, expectations for their children, expectations for education and careers, and then the further expectations when those children become adults. She also talks about what food means in her culture, which I also liked. I think Wendy does an excellent job of explaining who she is, and where she comes from.
I also really enjoyed Wendy's cander when discussing her own challenges as the daughter from a immigrant family, and how that affected her growing up. She is very open about losing her virginity, despite the expectation of secx only after marriage. She discusses not doing as well as she should have in school which, to me, as a viewer of the reality show she is on, came as a shock. I think the public perception of Wendy is that she is perfect. She has 4 University degrees, one of which being her PhD. I had no idea that she struggles in school; she struggled to find her way, struggled to follow her other's expectations, instead of what she wanted to do with her life. I really respected that because, despite having all these expectations on her, Wendy did things (for the most part) her way.
Much like I noted in Garcelle's book (Housewives of Beverly Hills-also one of my favorite people in that show), if you are picking up this book to find out some behind-the-scene about the Potomac show, you will be disappointed. This book is about Wendy and her mother, who raised her as a strong Nigerian mother. This is not about the rest of the cast of Potomac; the other stars are not even mentioned here. You have to respect that.
The reason for my 4.5 star review, which I am putting at 4 star here, is because I wish the book was longer. Perhaps Wendy wrote it a bit too early. I would have liked to heard more about her life now that she is moving away from being a professor, and more into the television world.
I have read a few "Housewives" books to date (Heather Gay-Salt Lake City; Garcelle Beauvais43e-Beverly Hills; Yoland Hadid-Beverly Hills; and Erika Jayne-Beverly Hills), see my other reviews for those stories. When I saw that Wendy had written her story, I wanted to read it to find out about this first generation immigrant from Nigeria, and one of my favorite people on Potomac.
First off, I will say that I enjoyed this book a lot. Much like Garcelle's book (an immigrant from Haiti), Wendy talks a lot about what her experience was like leaving Nigeria and being raised in the United States. Now, Wendy was only a toddler when she left Nigeria but, she was still raised within that culture, with all of its expectations, once she moved to the United States. I found it enjoyable to read about how Wendy was raised, as opposed to other people in the community. Wendy does discuss a lot about being raised in the "Nigerian bubble" and, I have to agree. Communities created with a shared experience of everyone being from the same place (in this case Nigeria) often create their own "world within the new world" for themselves so their children, while exposed to American culture, are still raised within their own cultural background. I think Wendy does an excellent job of explaining Nigeria culture, traditions, expectations for their children, expectations for education and careers, and then the further expectations when those children become adults. She also talks about what food means in her culture, which I also liked. I think Wendy does an excellent job of explaining who she is, and where she comes from.
I also really enjoyed Wendy's cander when discussing her own challenges as the daughter from a immigrant family, and how that affected her growing up. She is very open about losing her virginity, despite the expectation of secx only after marriage. She discusses not doing as well as she should have in school which, to me, as a viewer of the reality show she is on, came as a shock. I think the public perception of Wendy is that she is perfect. She has 4 University degrees, one of which being her PhD. I had no idea that she struggles in school; she struggled to find her way, struggled to follow her other's expectations, instead of what she wanted to do with her life. I really respected that because, despite having all these expectations on her, Wendy did things (for the most part) her way.
Much like I noted in Garcelle's book (Housewives of Beverly Hills-also one of my favorite people in that show), if you are picking up this book to find out some behind-the-scene about the Potomac show, you will be disappointed. This book is about Wendy and her mother, who raised her as a strong Nigerian mother. This is not about the rest of the cast of Potomac; the other stars are not even mentioned here. You have to respect that.
The reason for my 4.5 star review, which I am putting at 4 star here, is because I wish the book was longer. Perhaps Wendy wrote it a bit too early. I would have liked to heard more about her life now that she is moving away from being a professor, and more into the television world.
June 6, 2023
Tears of My Mother: The Legacy of My Nigerian Upbringing by Wendy Osefo
September 20, 2022
<3 Not being a television viewer I had no idea who this person was when I picked this book up. I found a lot of similarities as it relates to Nigerian and Caribbean parenting and their expectations of first gens and the inner child/adult child conflicts that can bring. I can relate to that lack of intimacy between immigrant/Nigeran parents and their children as she spoke of from a cultural perspective. The tribute to her #Daddy was so beautiful during such a tragic turn in this memoir. She is unapologetically Black and I love how her and her husband intentionally and consciously chose to love verbally, emotionally and physically as a family as they raised their children and broke that cycle of lack intimacy, conversation and dialogue. I was left wondering what happen in that green room with the White Racist Man that deliberately tried to belittle her as the only Black Girl Magic in that room! SMH "To be Black in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a state of rage almost, almost all of the time." — I really enjoyed this memoir. <3 @wendyosefo
Wendy Osefo's mother, Iyom Susan Okuzu, arrived in the United States from Nigeria with two things: a single suitcase and the fierce determination to make a better life for herself and her future family. And she succeeded: starting out working in a fast-food restaurant and ultimately becoming the director of nursing at a major metropolitan hospital.
While Susan may have taken pride in triumphing over every financial and emotional challenge, in Nigerian culture, a parent is only as successful as his or her children. And so her daughter, with gratitude and appreciation for her mother's sacrifices, worked hard to meet every demand Susan made of her. With four advanced degrees and a position at Johns Hopkins University as a professor—as well as being a highly sought-after political commentator, a cherished wife, and a loving mother of three—Dr. Wendy has given her mother bragging rights for life. But at what cost to herself?
In Tears of My Mother, the star of The Real Housewives of Potomac describes growing up as a first-generation American, balancing two distinct cultures. And she takes a critical look at the paradox of her mother's parenting: approval conditioned by achievement. As a teenager, Wendy struggled to carve out her own identity while still walking the narrow path of her mother's expectations. Unwavering family loyalty and obedience gave Wendy the road map to making it in America, but it also drove a wedge between mother and daughter, never more so than when she began to build her own family.
"A love letter to Dr. Osefo's mother and first-generation immigrants all across America" (Library Journal), this book is for anyone who has faced conflict in the mother-daughter relationship or wondered how much of their own upbringing they want to pass on to the next generation.
September 20, 2022
<3 Not being a television viewer I had no idea who this person was when I picked this book up. I found a lot of similarities as it relates to Nigerian and Caribbean parenting and their expectations of first gens and the inner child/adult child conflicts that can bring. I can relate to that lack of intimacy between immigrant/Nigeran parents and their children as she spoke of from a cultural perspective. The tribute to her #Daddy was so beautiful during such a tragic turn in this memoir. She is unapologetically Black and I love how her and her husband intentionally and consciously chose to love verbally, emotionally and physically as a family as they raised their children and broke that cycle of lack intimacy, conversation and dialogue. I was left wondering what happen in that green room with the White Racist Man that deliberately tried to belittle her as the only Black Girl Magic in that room! SMH "To be Black in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a state of rage almost, almost all of the time." — I really enjoyed this memoir. <3 @wendyosefo
Wendy Osefo's mother, Iyom Susan Okuzu, arrived in the United States from Nigeria with two things: a single suitcase and the fierce determination to make a better life for herself and her future family. And she succeeded: starting out working in a fast-food restaurant and ultimately becoming the director of nursing at a major metropolitan hospital.
While Susan may have taken pride in triumphing over every financial and emotional challenge, in Nigerian culture, a parent is only as successful as his or her children. And so her daughter, with gratitude and appreciation for her mother's sacrifices, worked hard to meet every demand Susan made of her. With four advanced degrees and a position at Johns Hopkins University as a professor—as well as being a highly sought-after political commentator, a cherished wife, and a loving mother of three—Dr. Wendy has given her mother bragging rights for life. But at what cost to herself?
In Tears of My Mother, the star of The Real Housewives of Potomac describes growing up as a first-generation American, balancing two distinct cultures. And she takes a critical look at the paradox of her mother's parenting: approval conditioned by achievement. As a teenager, Wendy struggled to carve out her own identity while still walking the narrow path of her mother's expectations. Unwavering family loyalty and obedience gave Wendy the road map to making it in America, but it also drove a wedge between mother and daughter, never more so than when she began to build her own family.
"A love letter to Dr. Osefo's mother and first-generation immigrants all across America" (Library Journal), this book is for anyone who has faced conflict in the mother-daughter relationship or wondered how much of their own upbringing they want to pass on to the next generation.
April 2, 2022
My review that was originally posted on Library Journal.
Thank you to LJ for the advanced copy!
“In this touching and entertaining memoir, Osefo (featured on The Real Housewives of the Potomac) delves into her rich family history. She focuses on the relationship between her and her mother, Susan Okuzu, and what it was like being raised as a first-generation Nigerian American. Osefo tells the incredible story of her mother’s immigration from Nigeria to the United States as a single mother and the lengths she went to build the best possible life for her children. Osefo candidly shares how generational trauma has affected her mother and her childhood, and how it will affect her parenting now that she has children of her own. Despite any bumps in the road, the love and appreciation for her mother are eminent throughout the book. Other first-generation immigrants may recognize some of their own struggles in this book and be able to see themselves in Wendy’s story.
VERDICT This memoir is a love letter to Dr. Osefo’s mother and first-generation immigrants all across America. Readers don’t have to be Real Housewives fans to enjoy this touching story of love, loss, and emotional growth.”
Thank you to LJ for the advanced copy!
“In this touching and entertaining memoir, Osefo (featured on The Real Housewives of the Potomac) delves into her rich family history. She focuses on the relationship between her and her mother, Susan Okuzu, and what it was like being raised as a first-generation Nigerian American. Osefo tells the incredible story of her mother’s immigration from Nigeria to the United States as a single mother and the lengths she went to build the best possible life for her children. Osefo candidly shares how generational trauma has affected her mother and her childhood, and how it will affect her parenting now that she has children of her own. Despite any bumps in the road, the love and appreciation for her mother are eminent throughout the book. Other first-generation immigrants may recognize some of their own struggles in this book and be able to see themselves in Wendy’s story.
VERDICT This memoir is a love letter to Dr. Osefo’s mother and first-generation immigrants all across America. Readers don’t have to be Real Housewives fans to enjoy this touching story of love, loss, and emotional growth.”
September 20, 2023
I do watch Real Housewives of Potomac and Wendy was not always my favorite cast member. I was still curious about reading her book and wanted to get a bit more detail on her background story. The first half of the book focuses a lot on her mother and other relatives. It goes into the Nigerian heritage and the struggles her family endured. In the TV show I remember her mother being mean and this story kind of explains why her mother is the way she is. I ended with understanding, but my overall opinion did not fully change. Through every generation there is a struggle with maintaining heritage and combining it with new culture and beliefs. Wendy tried to distance herself from certain aspects of her past, but her love of it is still there. She pushed herself hard at the approval of her mother and she fought with her husband's family. Wendy is highly educated and strong in her beliefs, but she is human and admits her flaws. Overall it was a good read and I actually appreciate how she didn't dive into any RHOP drama or gossip.
January 22, 2023
Favorite Quote: “Our family oasis was an objective symbol of success, and it felt good, validating, for my mother to spend time here and see the payoff of all her hard work raising me. It’d be even better if she acknowledged it.” Dr. Wendy Osefo
I feel in love with this book from the first page. It is written in a way that makes me feel like I am apart of the family. I love Real Housewives of Potomac and have been rooting for Dr. Wendy a lot this season. So happy I picked up her book, very heartwarming.
Although it is heartwarming there are elements of xenophobia, colorism, racism and sexism that rub me the wrong way. Be it people doing it directly to Dr. Wendy or her herself participating in some of these problematic behaviors. Overall a great read.
I feel in love with this book from the first page. It is written in a way that makes me feel like I am apart of the family. I love Real Housewives of Potomac and have been rooting for Dr. Wendy a lot this season. So happy I picked up her book, very heartwarming.
Although it is heartwarming there are elements of xenophobia, colorism, racism and sexism that rub me the wrong way. Be it people doing it directly to Dr. Wendy or her herself participating in some of these problematic behaviors. Overall a great read.
July 2, 2025
wendy's early life and her mom's life were interesting enough, but tbh this is pretty poorly written (all that education and for what lmao) - take a shot every time she says "as a Nigerian," "in Nigerian culture," "in a Nigerian family," "Nigerians do x," because she'll do it several times on a single page. in case u missed it, this book is about comparing cultures.
also just generally its a wildly unsatisfying experience as a reader that she just takes shit from her mom up until the very end of the book - literally two chapters from the end does she finally try to break tradition... and its just like... telling her mom she wants to quit her job lmao
3/10
should've known better when i saw that amy chua was the first endorsement on the back of the book lmao
also just generally its a wildly unsatisfying experience as a reader that she just takes shit from her mom up until the very end of the book - literally two chapters from the end does she finally try to break tradition... and its just like... telling her mom she wants to quit her job lmao
3/10
should've known better when i saw that amy chua was the first endorsement on the back of the book lmao
October 9, 2025
I don’t watch any Real Housewives shows, including RHOP, but wanted to check this out bc it was mentioned on Las Culturistas. I enjoyed it decently enough but it became extremely repetitive very quickly. Learning it may have been ghostwritten, and then confirming this to be true after having finished reading it, really colored my experience. What’s the point of a memoir if you don’t even write the damn thing? While there was nuance in this book, even that felt redundant and surface level at times, but I appreciated the emotional tone on which the book ended. If nothing else, this gave me a glimpse into the experience of being first-generation Nigerian living in America and that was really interesting. (3.5/5) 🇳🇬👩🏿🎓🥲
June 7, 2022
I received a copy of this book through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I'm not familiar with the Real Housewives of Potomac or Dr. Wendy's story so I thought this was an interesting read. Wendy talks about her childhood, her relationship with her mother, and how she and her husband got together. She also talks about her own approach to parenthood and how her mother's expectations shaped her. It's especially interesting to see her be so open about Nigerian exceptionalism and how hard her mother was on her, while also talking about what traditions she's going to pass on to her kids and what she will change.
It's an interesting peak into Dr. Wendy's life.
I'm not familiar with the Real Housewives of Potomac or Dr. Wendy's story so I thought this was an interesting read. Wendy talks about her childhood, her relationship with her mother, and how she and her husband got together. She also talks about her own approach to parenthood and how her mother's expectations shaped her. It's especially interesting to see her be so open about Nigerian exceptionalism and how hard her mother was on her, while also talking about what traditions she's going to pass on to her kids and what she will change.
It's an interesting peak into Dr. Wendy's life.
January 17, 2023
I really didn't know what to expect from a RHOP, but I was pleasantly surprised. Being a first Gen Cuban, I was able to relate to many of her struggles growing up. This book made me cringe, laugh and cry. Wendy Osefo has a way of telling her story that captures you inter her world. I didn't always agree with her political views, but I appreciated that she didn't push it down my throat. I I think it's good to see other peoples views and respect them even if you don't agree completely. I would have never read this book had I not won it from Goodreads and I'm glad I did. Thank you Goodreads for the opportunity to win a book that challenged my thinking and entertained me as well.
May 1, 2022
I never watched the Potomac housewives so I wasn’t familiar with the author. I wanted to read the book based on her relationship with her mother. She talks a lot about the Nigerian culture and how it framed her family life. Her mother was a go getter and expected nothing less from her daughters. The highs and lows of her life, career, and family are covered.
It’s an interesting read for several different dynamics: immigration, parent-child, education, and politics.
Thanks to Edelweiss, NetGalley, and Galley books for the advance read.
It’s an interesting read for several different dynamics: immigration, parent-child, education, and politics.
Thanks to Edelweiss, NetGalley, and Galley books for the advance read.
October 12, 2022
I like learning of other cultures. I think it helps us to understand each other. This was very interesting. There was a bit too much repetition of some statements but that's only my opinion. I enjoyed learning how Nigerians stick together, encourage their people to be the best they can be, and how they don't lose touch with their homeland and their people when they immigrate to America. It bothers me how insular they are, not venturing into new friendships with those outside their culture. How can we come to know and understand each other if we don't make an effort?
January 1, 2023
I received this book through a Goodreads giveaway. I love reading memoirs and even though I’d never heard of the author it sounded interesting. I loved it! Dr. Wendy tells a very compelling story about her family history, primarily her mother, and her life experiences as a first generation Nigerian in this country. It was fascinating reading about the expectations and mindset of another culture.
January 31, 2023
I really enjoyed this book! I felt like I learned so much, not just about Wendy, but about Nigerian culture and the life of immigrant and first generation Americans. I enjoy watching Wendy on RHOP and it was great to gain so much new insight into her and her story and to see from how her life started to how it is today. You don’t have to be a Housewives fan to read this book!
August 25, 2023
A really stunning book filled with family and love and history. I really think Dr Wendy outdid herself with telling her truth and sharing herself with the world. If you have even the slightest interest in culture and customs even if you are not s fan of RHOP give this book a chance. You won't be disappointed..
February 25, 2024
Well written and interesting. I wasn't familiar with Dr. Wendy before reading this book, I just chose it because I like memoirs. The structure is solid, the stories she chooses to share are vibrant and constructive, and there is a level of self evaluation through out. A satisfying addition to the genre.
October 2, 2023
She isn’t someone I knew before finding this book and not someone I will seek out to watch on TV either. There is a little about being 1st gen that might connect some readers with her. I listened to the audiobook that she read.
October 7, 2022
Thank you for the ARC it was a very interesting story.
October 20, 2022
A really interesting perspective
Want to read
November 29, 2022I haven't read it yet. I have a plethora of books in my house right now. I will prioritize this one!
March 28, 2023
Love Dr. Wendy and it was interesting learning more about her upbringing, family and Nigerian-American culture.
January 4, 2024
Pretty good for a celebrity memoir. I was impressed with the openness of Wendy and her mother sharing their flaws and struggles. Great to learn about Nigerian culture, first generation Americans’ experience, and navigating adult relationships with parents. Also interesting to hear about her experience working at Fox News.
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