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Still Alive
"They always say you shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, but why? What are they going to do? Haunt you even harder than they do already?"
Nick Gregory wasn’t always a hotel events manager. Twenty years ago he was a member of chart topping boyband Look Alive, until his bandmate and secret crush Oisin Brady left to pursue a solo career. Now that fame is over, Nick is unprepared when a chance encounter brings Oisin back into his life.
Oisin is still famous, and still every inch as capitivating as he was once was. Perhaps even more so, because these days Oisin’s overtures of friendship are a lot more than friendly, hinting at promises made and broken back when they were teenagers, and pulling Nick in two different directions all at once. Does Nick still want his love, or does he want long overdue revenge for the way Oisin left him high and dry?
As the two begin to reconnect they’re thrown closer together when the band’s monstrous ex manager Piers dies suddenly of a heart attack, prompting memories of the ways they were all exploited at the height of their fame. An impromptu reunion with his former bandmates leads Nick to the discovery that things were perhaps even more dysfunctional than they appeared on the surface, and that even the new love growing between them might not be enough to stop the ever enigmatic Oisin from keeping things secret.
Nick Gregory wasn’t always a hotel events manager. Twenty years ago he was a member of chart topping boyband Look Alive, until his bandmate and secret crush Oisin Brady left to pursue a solo career. Now that fame is over, Nick is unprepared when a chance encounter brings Oisin back into his life.
Oisin is still famous, and still every inch as capitivating as he was once was. Perhaps even more so, because these days Oisin’s overtures of friendship are a lot more than friendly, hinting at promises made and broken back when they were teenagers, and pulling Nick in two different directions all at once. Does Nick still want his love, or does he want long overdue revenge for the way Oisin left him high and dry?
As the two begin to reconnect they’re thrown closer together when the band’s monstrous ex manager Piers dies suddenly of a heart attack, prompting memories of the ways they were all exploited at the height of their fame. An impromptu reunion with his former bandmates leads Nick to the discovery that things were perhaps even more dysfunctional than they appeared on the surface, and that even the new love growing between them might not be enough to stop the ever enigmatic Oisin from keeping things secret.
Kindle Edition
First published July 3, 2021
13 people are currently reading
106 people want to read
About the author
Jess Whitecroft
24 books129 followersJess Whitecroft was born and educated in the UK, where she was once voted 'Most Likely To Think That Writing A Romantic Comedy About Bigfoot Is A Good Idea'.
After serving an apprenticeship with the late, great Black Lace books, and after many genres and many pseudonyms, she returned to romance, with a fondness for telling unconventional stories about unconventional lovers.
After serving an apprenticeship with the late, great Black Lace books, and after many genres and many pseudonyms, she returned to romance, with a fondness for telling unconventional stories about unconventional lovers.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
January 3, 2023
I always liked this author’s writing even though I don’t always love their books. Curiously,after finishing this and loving it I had a sudden revelation about my reading preferences : I always lean towards British authors. I have my favorite non-British authors too, of course but thinking about it, my favorite reads tend to be by British authors. They have such a different writing style..They’re rawer, more realistic and gloomy and with a bleaker tone comparing to the more idealistic non-British and especially American books .
Having said that , I loved this book and I’m sorry I haven’t checked out the rest of this author’s work because what I’ve read so far I enjoyed a lot (with some exceptions,as I mentioned above). Very good writing and very heavy the subject treated here (Oisin broke my heart 🥹, Gina too ) . There’s always a heavy price to pay for fame and I think it was a pretty realistic portrait of what it means to be in a boy band or number one in the charts.
It would have been 5 stars read but the conversation tended to go off on a tangent from time to time. There was a lot of irrelevant dialogues and information that you could only understand if you were connected to show biz and a lot of pop culture details and references and inside jokes you couldn’t possibly know especially if you’re neither American nor British . I think the book needs a cleaning up, some editing and to shorten it up a bit because it kind of dragged here and there. It’s a good book, though, that will make you think, and feel and hurt.. I loved Nick so much , I loved how he loved Oisin 😍. Excellent!
Having said that , I loved this book and I’m sorry I haven’t checked out the rest of this author’s work because what I’ve read so far I enjoyed a lot (with some exceptions,as I mentioned above). Very good writing and very heavy the subject treated here (Oisin broke my heart 🥹, Gina too ) . There’s always a heavy price to pay for fame and I think it was a pretty realistic portrait of what it means to be in a boy band or number one in the charts.
It would have been 5 stars read but the conversation tended to go off on a tangent from time to time. There was a lot of irrelevant dialogues and information that you could only understand if you were connected to show biz and a lot of pop culture details and references and inside jokes you couldn’t possibly know especially if you’re neither American nor British . I think the book needs a cleaning up, some editing and to shorten it up a bit because it kind of dragged here and there. It’s a good book, though, that will make you think, and feel and hurt.. I loved Nick so much , I loved how he loved Oisin 😍. Excellent!
July 23, 2022
I really enjoyed this, for how different it was. Two ageing ex-boy-band members, hitting 40. One now in the hospitality industry, the other who had a longer and more famous music career. This deals with ageing, emotional and sexual abuse, depression, impotence, and other topics in a way that felt pretty real (which results in a bit of frustration, because not everything has the closure I wanted, but that's not really a complaint.) Worth a look if messy real life is your jam, as it is mine.
November 1, 2022
Celebrity romance, normally so not my jam, but oh, this novel -- I can't say enough about how good it is. Real, adult, smart, damaged people (including the MCs' friends) dealing with the harm their history has done them, including the ways they've treated one another badly & let one another down.
Terrific dialogue -- the "funny banter" is genuinely hilarious, and how rare is that? -- immensely appealing characters, wildly hot sex scenes, and high, high stakes.
About those sex scenes, by the way. Jess Whitecroft writes some of the best I've read. Freshly imagined and blazing hot every time, and so real: Here's the narrator in bed with the love of his life: "I'm almost afraid that I'm dreaming, but when I try to remove the tissue now glued to my skin and pubes it tears and comes away in pieces, like pornographic confetti."
Terrific dialogue -- the "funny banter" is genuinely hilarious, and how rare is that? -- immensely appealing characters, wildly hot sex scenes, and high, high stakes.
About those sex scenes, by the way. Jess Whitecroft writes some of the best I've read. Freshly imagined and blazing hot every time, and so real: Here's the narrator in bed with the love of his life: "I'm almost afraid that I'm dreaming, but when I try to remove the tissue now glued to my skin and pubes it tears and comes away in pieces, like pornographic confetti."
July 10, 2021
What a journey
I'm a fan of Jess Whitecroft's skill with words, and she's in fine form here. Trigger warnings for dealing with past sexual assault, and for my fellow Americans, you may need to use the look-up feature more than a couple of times because this is written in glorious British English with all the cultural references that entails. I love it, but I know some people confuse not understanding the references with poor writing, so I am making it known here that if you have trouble tolerating non-American-centric language, just skip this one. Also, it's single POV until the epilogue, butbI think it suits the story quite well.
It's an emotional roller coaster for the MCs, and the supporting cast is delightful. There's a HEA and no cheating in this hurt-comfort, second chance romance.
I'm a fan of Jess Whitecroft's skill with words, and she's in fine form here. Trigger warnings for dealing with past sexual assault, and for my fellow Americans, you may need to use the look-up feature more than a couple of times because this is written in glorious British English with all the cultural references that entails. I love it, but I know some people confuse not understanding the references with poor writing, so I am making it known here that if you have trouble tolerating non-American-centric language, just skip this one. Also, it's single POV until the epilogue, butbI think it suits the story quite well.
It's an emotional roller coaster for the MCs, and the supporting cast is delightful. There's a HEA and no cheating in this hurt-comfort, second chance romance.
October 10, 2021
Unsatisfying.
Boy band, first love, monstrous man.
Never says sorry.
Boy band, first love, monstrous man.
Never says sorry.
May 15, 2022
Former boyband members reunite in their forties. I read this because of other reviews saying it’s not your typical boyband romance, but I don’t really agree with that. Sure, the characters are in their forties and one is no longer famous, but the book relies heavily on the reader’s knowledge about boybands (and presumed interest in them) for character development, so much so that I was suspicious for much of the book that I was reading re-branded RPF. As someone who has never been part of any boyband fandom, there was little for me to connect with here. There is very little on-page characterization, beyond periodic, non-chronological flashbacks that establish the trauma inflicted on the MCs by fame and their abusive manager. The characters’ larger motivations and desires are not explored, and consequently their relationship has little impact because the reader doesn’t see what it means for them other than as fulfillment of earlier longings.
We’re told from the start that the POV MC, Nick, was in unrequited love with his bandmate, Oisin and has pined for him ever since, but all of the early flashbacks to their time in the band show the two miscommunicating or at odds with each other. More positive flashbacks aren’t shown until after they enter a romantic relationship in the present day, so we never see why Nick had these feelings for Oisin or what kind of connection they had. When the two get together in the present day, it happens abruptly and we get no insight into when Oisin’s feelings developed or why he’s so interested in pursuing a relationship after so many years apart.
This book was more successful as a commentary on the perils of fame than as a romance, though even that commentary is underdeveloped. There are hints from the start that Oisin has past trauma that Nick didn’t see but should have, and Oisin finally reveals the horrific truth to Nick at 91% in the book. There is one scene of the characters crying together, then an unrelated epilogue, and then the book ends. This gives the unsettling impression that the trauma was included merely to create a sense of mystery, because the characters never confront, process, or even really discuss it. Because the book is entirely from Nick’s POV, the narrative prioritizes Nick’s reaction over Oisin’s feelings. The only hint we get of Oisin’s side is in an earlier conversation about similar trauma suffered by others. You can tell the author was trying to handle the subject carefully and respectfully, but I found the final product lacking. If the intent was to show that trauma is enduring and not easily resolved, I think that message could have been conveyed in a way that didn’t treat Oisin’s trauma like a mystery to be revealed.
One positive is that for parts of the book, Oisin struggles with anorgasmia caused by his SSRI. Despite how common a problem this is in real life, I’ve only ever seen it in one other romance, and I appreciate that the author included it here. I also liked that the author didn’t misgender or deadname a trans side character in flashbacks to a time when the character was still perceived as their assigned gender at birth.
Overall, I don’t recommend this unless you have an existing interest in boyband fandom.
We’re told from the start that the POV MC, Nick, was in unrequited love with his bandmate, Oisin and has pined for him ever since, but all of the early flashbacks to their time in the band show the two miscommunicating or at odds with each other. More positive flashbacks aren’t shown until after they enter a romantic relationship in the present day, so we never see why Nick had these feelings for Oisin or what kind of connection they had. When the two get together in the present day, it happens abruptly and we get no insight into when Oisin’s feelings developed or why he’s so interested in pursuing a relationship after so many years apart.
This book was more successful as a commentary on the perils of fame than as a romance, though even that commentary is underdeveloped. There are hints from the start that Oisin has past trauma that Nick didn’t see but should have, and Oisin finally reveals the horrific truth to Nick at 91% in the book. There is one scene of the characters crying together, then an unrelated epilogue, and then the book ends. This gives the unsettling impression that the trauma was included merely to create a sense of mystery, because the characters never confront, process, or even really discuss it. Because the book is entirely from Nick’s POV, the narrative prioritizes Nick’s reaction over Oisin’s feelings. The only hint we get of Oisin’s side is in an earlier conversation about similar trauma suffered by others. You can tell the author was trying to handle the subject carefully and respectfully, but I found the final product lacking. If the intent was to show that trauma is enduring and not easily resolved, I think that message could have been conveyed in a way that didn’t treat Oisin’s trauma like a mystery to be revealed.
One positive is that for parts of the book, Oisin struggles with anorgasmia caused by his SSRI. Despite how common a problem this is in real life, I’ve only ever seen it in one other romance, and I appreciate that the author included it here. I also liked that the author didn’t misgender or deadname a trans side character in flashbacks to a time when the character was still perceived as their assigned gender at birth.
Overall, I don’t recommend this unless you have an existing interest in boyband fandom.
July 12, 2021
In my experience, it's rare to find an author who can make me laugh until my sides hurt or tear me apart with all the angst. Whitecroft is a master at both, and her talent as a writer hooks me with every new book she publishes.
Still Alive falls in the later category of her gifts and, boy, does it hurt so good. I loved that Nick and Oisin aren't twenty-year-olds with super fit bodies and all the stamina in the world. They are older (early 40s), and their gray hair and lack tight six-pack abs make these characters more endearing.
The background of the band and each member are woven seamlessly into the narrative, with pieces of the characters and events that make up Look Alive revealed at perfect moments. Whitecroft's storytelling and timing are flawless.
At times tragic, at times hopeful, Still Alive is an extraordinary story of second chances for two men dealing with disappointment and loneliness in very different ways. In the end, there is hope.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Still Alive falls in the later category of her gifts and, boy, does it hurt so good. I loved that Nick and Oisin aren't twenty-year-olds with super fit bodies and all the stamina in the world. They are older (early 40s), and their gray hair and lack tight six-pack abs make these characters more endearing.
The background of the band and each member are woven seamlessly into the narrative, with pieces of the characters and events that make up Look Alive revealed at perfect moments. Whitecroft's storytelling and timing are flawless.
At times tragic, at times hopeful, Still Alive is an extraordinary story of second chances for two men dealing with disappointment and loneliness in very different ways. In the end, there is hope.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
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January 15, 2022I enjoyed this book. A new to me author. As someone else reviewed, it felt unsettling. I’m not sure the juxtaposition of humour and social commentary worked for me because ultimately I found it desperately sad. But I know other people have raved. Having said that, I really really like this author’s writing style and will definitely read more by her. Starting immediately. Because I suspect it was just this particular story that wasn’t for me. And maybe I was supposed to feel unsettled?
February 17, 2023
This left me feeling unsettled and a bit depressed. I just felt so sad for everyone really, especially Oisin but also Nick, Gina, Gareth and Rafe. All the characters had such depressing things happening in their lives and there wasn’t really much of a happy ending, or what was there felt shadowed. This seemed like a really accurate depiction of life in the entertainment industry so I think this was done well but it almost felt like that theme overtook the romance and although normally I love angsty stories this one just didn’t seem to have much hope or positivity in the end which I was hanging out for.
There was also alot of references to current pop culture and celebrities or high profile situations about child abuse claims in the industry which I don’t think worked for me. In particular there was a whole conversation about Micheal Jackson and child abuse claims which was relevant to the story but I just didn’t really like how the sexual abuse theme was played almost as a mystery throughout the book with the reveal at the end but then it felt like things were missing in how that storyline ended. There was some really great ideas here and some parts I really loved but overall it left me feeling flat and sad.
There was also alot of references to current pop culture and celebrities or high profile situations about child abuse claims in the industry which I don’t think worked for me. In particular there was a whole conversation about Micheal Jackson and child abuse claims which was relevant to the story but I just didn’t really like how the sexual abuse theme was played almost as a mystery throughout the book with the reveal at the end but then it felt like things were missing in how that storyline ended. There was some really great ideas here and some parts I really loved but overall it left me feeling flat and sad.
July 14, 2021
I was given a copy of this book by the author. I didn't know what it was about. I don't like books with bands or musos as a backdrop but this started out so well I was thinking it was going to smash my dislike. The British humour was so on song I could see this book being another 5 star book by the author. I enjoyed Rafe the boozehound, Gee's or Gina's inner strength. However, I couldn't feel the chemistry between Nick, the narrator, and Oisin, the MCs and two of the ex band mates of the fictional early 2000s manufactured boy band Look Alive.
Piers, the ex manager, a total twat, exploited the bejeebers out of all of them and they reminisce about it, including non-linear sections of what it was like then as teens and their feelings about it now as fully-fledged adults. There are 4 surviving members and all of them have a chance to heal, for want of a better word. All of them feel like they never did enough to support each other but they were so young then. Now it's over 20 years on and these ex band members are like WWII soldiers recalling being in the trenches together. The soon to be turning 40 year old Nick and just over 40 year old Oisin start a romance but it just felt like it leapt out of nowhere. Yes, Nick has held a torch for Oisin for ages but their reconnection felt forced. Nick was too accepting of someone who promised to come back but didn't. Furthermore, Oisin then forged his own successful solo career without doing what he'd promised to Nick.. and for over 2o years.
Piers opens the door for some very British social commentary about people like Jimmy Saville and some very British humour as well, the funniest part of the book being the wordplay about Cunty Parking and older country style women murder mystery series, of which England seems to have loved and exported at the rate of knots over the years.
After reading the brilliant The Last Single Man in Texas I feel like this didn't stack up as well. It's easy reading. It has some angst? existential moments? and plenty of British humour. However, I can't say Nick and Oisin will stay with me.
Piers, the ex manager, a total twat, exploited the bejeebers out of all of them and they reminisce about it, including non-linear sections of what it was like then as teens and their feelings about it now as fully-fledged adults. There are 4 surviving members and all of them have a chance to heal, for want of a better word. All of them feel like they never did enough to support each other but they were so young then. Now it's over 20 years on and these ex band members are like WWII soldiers recalling being in the trenches together. The soon to be turning 40 year old Nick and just over 40 year old Oisin start a romance but it just felt like it leapt out of nowhere. Yes, Nick has held a torch for Oisin for ages but their reconnection felt forced. Nick was too accepting of someone who promised to come back but didn't. Furthermore, Oisin then forged his own successful solo career without doing what he'd promised to Nick.. and for over 2o years.
Piers opens the door for some very British social commentary about people like Jimmy Saville and some very British humour as well, the funniest part of the book being the wordplay about Cunty Parking and older country style women murder mystery series, of which England seems to have loved and exported at the rate of knots over the years.
After reading the brilliant The Last Single Man in Texas I feel like this didn't stack up as well. It's easy reading. It has some angst? existential moments? and plenty of British humour. However, I can't say Nick and Oisin will stay with me.
July 10, 2021
Still Alive
Sarcastic, Witty, Current , Hilarious , Social Commentary , Snarky , Real , Original, Though Provoking, comes to mind when describing Still Alive.
Jess Whitecroft is one of those writers who don't follow a formula , genre . No two books of her are the same.
Honestly, I don't know how I feel about Still Alive.
Did I like it ? Yes and No
Did I enjoyed it ? Yes and No
Do I recommend it ? Yes
Sarcastic, Witty, Current , Hilarious , Social Commentary , Snarky , Real , Original, Though Provoking, comes to mind when describing Still Alive.
Jess Whitecroft is one of those writers who don't follow a formula , genre . No two books of her are the same.
Honestly, I don't know how I feel about Still Alive.
Did I like it ? Yes and No
Did I enjoyed it ? Yes and No
Do I recommend it ? Yes
August 18, 2021
Just tear my heart out, why don't you. Always in love with her characters, impressed by her details. Improbable (or rare) situations made completely believable, broken people finding each other and trying to heal.
July 7, 2021
Here's the thing about Jess Whitecroft, she can go from being zany and OTT to calm and reverent with gentle humor from book to book or even in the same book but no matter what she is just plain good. I adore her books and although this one is much calmer than the last one, it's still powerful and important. I really thought it was going to be more dramatic than it was for the two MCs but they don't have as much of a problem with each other as there's more external issues.
I did want to say one thing that I was very happy to see. She brought up that one of the characters passed away from a complication due to Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and I was very glad to see awareness of that issue because it needs it. It's something that has plagued me from birth & although I don't believe I have the type the character had which was the cardiac version, mine is a hypermobile type that causes a great deal of pain along with a lot other symptoms that don't necessarily seem to be interconnected but they did.
Anyway, read it, it's good.
I did want to say one thing that I was very happy to see. She brought up that one of the characters passed away from a complication due to Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and I was very glad to see awareness of that issue because it needs it. It's something that has plagued me from birth & although I don't believe I have the type the character had which was the cardiac version, mine is a hypermobile type that causes a great deal of pain along with a lot other symptoms that don't necessarily seem to be interconnected but they did.
Anyway, read it, it's good.
January 25, 2025
Giving it a five however I do just want to say I wish the SA aspect of Oisin's story was addressed earlier in the story as well as the fallout. It all happening in the last 10% of the book felt really rushed and I wanted more emotional catharsis out of it. I still overall enjoyed the book a lot though.
July 25, 2021
I do not like rockstar romance, so the fact that I read and enjoyed this at all is testament to the unholy powers of Jess Whitecroft.
December 30, 2021
This was a mm contemporary story set in the UK. Nick and Oisin were part of a boy band 20 years before. Great story with laughter and tears. The boy band had 5 members with each person having a roll to play but also carrying scars and hurt for 20 year.
July 9, 2021
Nick and Oisin were band mates in a boy band twenty years ago. When Oisin left without a backward glance, breaking promises and Nick's heart in the process, it left an indelible mark. So when the still-famous Oisin appears back in Nick's life, it's disorienting to the 40 year old hotel events manager who has lived in peace and obscurity for two decades. Add all that resentment and hurt to a love that never really died, and you get one hell of a potent angst-cocktail for our poor Nick. But as we learn what life is really like for the rich and famous Oisin, you can't help but want to wrap him up in cotton wool, too.
As these middle-aged men become reacquainted, we're given glimpses of what fame and fortune truly cost them all those years ago, as well as the missed opportunities that could have changed so much. We dip in and out of well-done flashbacks that never quite give the full story in one go. And as Nick and Oisin are brought together with the other remaining members of the band for their ex-manager's funeral, even more of their tragic picture comes into focus.
Whitecroft's writing is full of clever banter and artful subtext. And frankly, what isn't said seems to cut me the deepest in this story. She uses great restraint in those big 'dark night of the soul' scenes, making those moments resonate for me even more. Well-written, full of humor and snark, with poignant and topical commentaries of our time.
As these middle-aged men become reacquainted, we're given glimpses of what fame and fortune truly cost them all those years ago, as well as the missed opportunities that could have changed so much. We dip in and out of well-done flashbacks that never quite give the full story in one go. And as Nick and Oisin are brought together with the other remaining members of the band for their ex-manager's funeral, even more of their tragic picture comes into focus.
Whitecroft's writing is full of clever banter and artful subtext. And frankly, what isn't said seems to cut me the deepest in this story. She uses great restraint in those big 'dark night of the soul' scenes, making those moments resonate for me even more. Well-written, full of humor and snark, with poignant and topical commentaries of our time.
July 11, 2021
A Second Chance ? . . .
This story will bring back pain and questioning, clarification and some answers. Oisin and Nick had been members of a boy band back in the day. The band broke up when Oisin left on his own. While Oisin remained famous and active, Nick is an events manager at a hotel, living an ordinary, quiet life. When Oisin comes back into Nick’s life, it is a bittersweet moment.
In their band days, Nick had a secret crush on Oisin. When the present-day Oisin comes back, he seems interested now in Nick who is not sure how to respond. He doesn’t want to jump into all that pain again when Oisin walked out on him. But does he really want to close him out if he might possibly love him? He already knows that his feelings never went away.
There is much more explored in the story line, uncovering things from the past that made fame and fortune not quite as enchanting as many imagine. Grab your copy and get the full experience of the story which the author handles so well. And see if Oisin and Nick can claim their own HEA at last.
This story will bring back pain and questioning, clarification and some answers. Oisin and Nick had been members of a boy band back in the day. The band broke up when Oisin left on his own. While Oisin remained famous and active, Nick is an events manager at a hotel, living an ordinary, quiet life. When Oisin comes back into Nick’s life, it is a bittersweet moment.
In their band days, Nick had a secret crush on Oisin. When the present-day Oisin comes back, he seems interested now in Nick who is not sure how to respond. He doesn’t want to jump into all that pain again when Oisin walked out on him. But does he really want to close him out if he might possibly love him? He already knows that his feelings never went away.
There is much more explored in the story line, uncovering things from the past that made fame and fortune not quite as enchanting as many imagine. Grab your copy and get the full experience of the story which the author handles so well. And see if Oisin and Nick can claim their own HEA at last.
February 8, 2022
This switches to and fro between present day and 20+ years ago, which I'm usually not a great fan of but here it works. This stunning story is an exercise into the slow death of a boyband and the years of mental anguish, bullying, exhaustion, and sexual abuse on these young performers, and the aftermath in the years ahead.
January 20, 2022
Outstanding
It might be a bit early to call this my book of 2022 but I’m quietly confident it could well be.
This is utterly gorgeous. Full of humour, and pain, and characters so real their experiences have touched me. I’m lost for any more words.
It might be a bit early to call this my book of 2022 but I’m quietly confident it could well be.
This is utterly gorgeous. Full of humour, and pain, and characters so real their experiences have touched me. I’m lost for any more words.
July 10, 2021
4.5 stars
There are oceans of pain, longing, and regret in this book. Protagonist and narrator Nick is haunted by his past, where he and the other members of a boyband with a sadistic manager suffered pretty much every possible trauma. What Nick mourns most, however, is the unrequited love he had for Oisin, fellow band member who went on to solo fame. Nick’s existence as a forty-year-old post-famous person is almost entirely consumed by his unconsummated desire for Oisin, and it’s a bit staggering how very little difference twenty years seem to have made in his level of obsession: when Oisin reappears in his life, he’s as obsessed as he’s ever been. Their connection is built on reminiscences of their years in boyband hell, plus a bit of resentment and uncertainty, plus Nick’s overwhelming, unstinting devotion. It’s not the healthiest dynamic, but none of the band members, it becomes clear, have ever really recovered fully from the chaos of their formative years together (except maybe Gina, who’s epic) and while there are moments where it feels like they’re all making progress, there are many, many more that are dark and just somehow off— and that’s even before the not-entirely-unexpected-but-totally-awful reveal right before the end. I don’t know what to say about Nick and Oisin as a couple: they have a ton of baggage and a bit of hope, and I guess I’ll settle on “bittersweet” as the descriptor for their relationship— which is actually a huge accomplishment, given the cataclysmic nature of their history. This isn’t an easy read, but it is a moving one, and while there’s not a lot of lightness in this story, in any form, there is perseverance and strength.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
There are oceans of pain, longing, and regret in this book. Protagonist and narrator Nick is haunted by his past, where he and the other members of a boyband with a sadistic manager suffered pretty much every possible trauma. What Nick mourns most, however, is the unrequited love he had for Oisin, fellow band member who went on to solo fame. Nick’s existence as a forty-year-old post-famous person is almost entirely consumed by his unconsummated desire for Oisin, and it’s a bit staggering how very little difference twenty years seem to have made in his level of obsession: when Oisin reappears in his life, he’s as obsessed as he’s ever been. Their connection is built on reminiscences of their years in boyband hell, plus a bit of resentment and uncertainty, plus Nick’s overwhelming, unstinting devotion. It’s not the healthiest dynamic, but none of the band members, it becomes clear, have ever really recovered fully from the chaos of their formative years together (except maybe Gina, who’s epic) and while there are moments where it feels like they’re all making progress, there are many, many more that are dark and just somehow off— and that’s even before the not-entirely-unexpected-but-totally-awful reveal right before the end. I don’t know what to say about Nick and Oisin as a couple: they have a ton of baggage and a bit of hope, and I guess I’ll settle on “bittersweet” as the descriptor for their relationship— which is actually a huge accomplishment, given the cataclysmic nature of their history. This isn’t an easy read, but it is a moving one, and while there’s not a lot of lightness in this story, in any form, there is perseverance and strength.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
December 21, 2021
Funny, emotional, and a bit angsty
Members of a British boyband reunite almost 20 years after the demise of their band for the funeral of their abusive manager. Nick has faded into obscurity, working as a luxury hotel manager while Oisin (O-sheen) has had a successful solo career. Seeing each other again reopens old wounds but the time passed enables them to be honest with each other about their feelings for each other, then and now.
I loved this emotional story. It was really interesting reading this after having just read If This Gets Out by Sophie Gonzales and Cale Dietrich. Both books have similar themes, but this one is definitely an adult version, and a second chance romance as the MCs never actually got together when they were in the band, and it gets a bit darker than the YA book. Also this book is very British and even though the story gets pretty serious in parts, the banter is hysterical. I cackled out loud several times.
The story is told from Nick’s POV, which I think works well as it keeps Oisin’s feelings a bit of a mystery, which makes sense for the story. Nick feels betrayed that Oisin left him behind all those years ago to continue his career on his own and both men have a lot of unresolved issues to work through. These characters felt so real to me! My only complaint is that the book wasn’t longer! I felt like I could have dived even deeper into the emotions of these guys, and all the remaining band members. Absolutely loved it and highly recommend!
Members of a British boyband reunite almost 20 years after the demise of their band for the funeral of their abusive manager. Nick has faded into obscurity, working as a luxury hotel manager while Oisin (O-sheen) has had a successful solo career. Seeing each other again reopens old wounds but the time passed enables them to be honest with each other about their feelings for each other, then and now.
I loved this emotional story. It was really interesting reading this after having just read If This Gets Out by Sophie Gonzales and Cale Dietrich. Both books have similar themes, but this one is definitely an adult version, and a second chance romance as the MCs never actually got together when they were in the band, and it gets a bit darker than the YA book. Also this book is very British and even though the story gets pretty serious in parts, the banter is hysterical. I cackled out loud several times.
The story is told from Nick’s POV, which I think works well as it keeps Oisin’s feelings a bit of a mystery, which makes sense for the story. Nick feels betrayed that Oisin left him behind all those years ago to continue his career on his own and both men have a lot of unresolved issues to work through. These characters felt so real to me! My only complaint is that the book wasn’t longer! I felt like I could have dived even deeper into the emotions of these guys, and all the remaining band members. Absolutely loved it and highly recommend!
July 10, 2021
Americans: Let me start by saying the author is British and there will be terms you will have to look up, but it will definitely make for a better and broader vocabulary.
This is such a sweet story of secret crushes, enduring friendships, and finding your way back home. Oisin (pronounced O’Sheen) and Nick were former boy band members. Twenty years ago the band broke up when Oisin chose to go solo. Oisin maintains his fame while Nick fades into a life of obscurity. Now, in a totally random way, the two are reunited.
What you will immediately discover is that younger Nick had a huge crush on younger Oisin, but never told him. Now current day Oisin seems to be pursuing Nick romantically, leaving Nick all kinds of confused. Does he follow his head that tells him to be cautious of the nan who has already broken his heart once or does he follow his heart who wants to believe Oisin could really love him?
I really enjoyed how the author takes the story through different time periods. It’s like having “This is Us” in a book. She seamlessly takes you from current day back through Nick’s memories of his past in the band and with Nick. This story will help you appreciate the challenges of negotiating a new relationship with old baggage.
I am a new fan of Jess Whitecroft.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
This is such a sweet story of secret crushes, enduring friendships, and finding your way back home. Oisin (pronounced O’Sheen) and Nick were former boy band members. Twenty years ago the band broke up when Oisin chose to go solo. Oisin maintains his fame while Nick fades into a life of obscurity. Now, in a totally random way, the two are reunited.
What you will immediately discover is that younger Nick had a huge crush on younger Oisin, but never told him. Now current day Oisin seems to be pursuing Nick romantically, leaving Nick all kinds of confused. Does he follow his head that tells him to be cautious of the nan who has already broken his heart once or does he follow his heart who wants to believe Oisin could really love him?
I really enjoyed how the author takes the story through different time periods. It’s like having “This is Us” in a book. She seamlessly takes you from current day back through Nick’s memories of his past in the band and with Nick. This story will help you appreciate the challenges of negotiating a new relationship with old baggage.
I am a new fan of Jess Whitecroft.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
July 9, 2021
Nick and Oisin were in a boy band until as seems to often happen, Oisin goes solo and the band fades into obscurity and Nick has to find something else to do with his life. At 40 he is an events manager at a hotel living quietly having left life in the spotlight behind. Mostly. Nick is not quite over being left behind by Oisin and he still has feelings for him. When Oisin makes a return to his life it stirs up a lot of unresolved feelings for Nick. But we also learn that even though Oisin continued into the spotlight all that glitters is not gold for him either. This reunion takes us on a journey with them through memories of missed opportunities and the glare of hindsight that helps you to realize that there was a lot not so great going on even as they were living through their rise that lead them to where they are not. Well done with lots of layers as we move through the history and current circumstances of this couple and these people and realize that fame may not be all its cracked up to be.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
December 23, 2021
Second chance romance between former band mates!
This is probably the most serious Jess book I’ve read yet and I really enjoyed it. Honestly it sounds like being in a boy band sucks! Sure you come out with some fame and a lot of money, but at what cost? And it’s no surprise that the people orchestrating it all - primarily older white men - are basically sociopaths preying on the vulnerable aka children.
I liked the way this book wove together the past and present, and how it brought Nick and Oisin back together. (And the band mates are fun too!) They’re in their 40s now and it’s been about 20 years since their boy band days. I think their love for each other was really highlighted by the fact that they hadn’t seen each other in years, but they fall right back into their friendship and all the feelings they had. This is definitely a second chance romance, and a touch of friends to lovers, that highlights how some love really does need time.
Overall this book was sweet, romantic and a little funny, but there are some hard topics covered. CW for talk of su*cide, emotional abuse and s*xual abuse (off page).
This is probably the most serious Jess book I’ve read yet and I really enjoyed it. Honestly it sounds like being in a boy band sucks! Sure you come out with some fame and a lot of money, but at what cost? And it’s no surprise that the people orchestrating it all - primarily older white men - are basically sociopaths preying on the vulnerable aka children.
I liked the way this book wove together the past and present, and how it brought Nick and Oisin back together. (And the band mates are fun too!) They’re in their 40s now and it’s been about 20 years since their boy band days. I think their love for each other was really highlighted by the fact that they hadn’t seen each other in years, but they fall right back into their friendship and all the feelings they had. This is definitely a second chance romance, and a touch of friends to lovers, that highlights how some love really does need time.
Overall this book was sweet, romantic and a little funny, but there are some hard topics covered. CW for talk of su*cide, emotional abuse and s*xual abuse (off page).
July 10, 2021
I love Jess Whitecroft’s writing, always anticipating her next book! Still Alive might feel a bit more calm and serious than some of her others, but it is no less engaging. There is plenty of snark and witty banter, alongside poignant and genuine commentary into the darker side of fame. Nick and Oisin stole my heart! With all his hurt and resentment over Oisin leaving their boyband - and his heart - some two decades ago, there is a lot to unpack for Nick when he comes face to face with Oisin again. But life isn’t what you would expect for the still-famous Oisin... The story comes together piece-by-piece in a mix of the present and flashbacks. We find out just what they lost all those years ago, and how maybe, they might be able to find their way together again.
Still Alive is a brilliant second chance story that expounds very real feelings through a journey of slow healing, forgiveness, and a love that never truly died.
Still Alive is a brilliant second chance story that expounds very real feelings through a journey of slow healing, forgiveness, and a love that never truly died.
July 15, 2021
Nick is working as a manager as a hotel, when Oisin, who once performed with him in the boyband Look Alive, makes an appearance. Oisin is still mega-famous while Nick is long-forgotten – by the public, if not by Oisin, who immediately demands his attention. This being a romance novel, it's fairly obvious what happens next on that front, and the romance is executed with Whitecroft's usual humour, sharp dialogue and warmth. But there's more, too. When their former manager dies, the still-living members of the band reunite, and we soon learn that no one escaped those teen-fame days unscathed. Dark secrets bubble up from the past and the traumas, and the band members responses to them, are described with sensitivity and what is clearly careful, but not overdone, research. A really great book with hidden depths.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
July 17, 2021
This is an interesting story, but it's written more as an autobiography than a romance. It's full of drama, angst, betrayal and friendship, with a few shocks in between. Oisin and Nick were part of a 5 member band until Oisin split off by himself. Nick fell in love with Oisin soon after they met, but never had the courage to say anything. When Oisin left he promised that he would be back for Nick so that they could write and perform the music that they wanted to. But Oisin never did come back. When they reconnect about 20 years after the band broke up, they realize that they need to do some explaining. But there is so much other stuff going on in their lives that it keeps interfering. The secrets that the band members kept from each other and the abuse they suffered all come to light, and eventually bring Nick and Oisin closer.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the author. This is my honest and voluntary opinion of it.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the author. This is my honest and voluntary opinion of it.
January 17, 2022
I have complicated feelings about this book. At times I loved it but mostly it was incredibly frustrating. I did not enjoy the numerous, meandering flashbacks. I didn't quite feel the relationship between Nick and Oisin and I surely felt little for either of their characters. There's a very good story here burdened by unnecessary flowery writing about... not sure what. Fame? Idiot youths? I liked some of the commentary about current social issues but overall it was forced, like it tried to do far too many things at once and didn't really commit to any of them.
This would have worked better 5-10 years out from the end of the boyband, not 20. After 20 years, their behaviour starts to be regressive and fucked up and that's not really fun to read. And I just really could not connect to Oisin, which is a shame.
I really enjoy Jess Whitecroft's writing but this kind of felt flat to me.
This would have worked better 5-10 years out from the end of the boyband, not 20. After 20 years, their behaviour starts to be regressive and fucked up and that's not really fun to read. And I just really could not connect to Oisin, which is a shame.
I really enjoy Jess Whitecroft's writing but this kind of felt flat to me.
August 17, 2022
I've never read Jess Whitecroft before and I'm not sure who recommended him to me, but they get a big thanks!
This was so well written with such great characterization, you just felt they were your friends, sitting on your sofa, telling your their story. So well thought out, perceptive and just fun (as well as awful and difficult) And the sexual issues worked too. If you need trigger warnings, there is a very destructive, awful man, who bullied and worse them in their youth. We meet them again at his funeral. I loved them both, and the rest of the crew too. I'm off to read more of his works!
I rate this a happy find and a new to me author that I'm going to keep on reading.
This was so well written with such great characterization, you just felt they were your friends, sitting on your sofa, telling your their story. So well thought out, perceptive and just fun (as well as awful and difficult) And the sexual issues worked too. If you need trigger warnings, there is a very destructive, awful man, who bullied and worse them in their youth. We meet them again at his funeral. I loved them both, and the rest of the crew too. I'm off to read more of his works!
I rate this a happy find and a new to me author that I'm going to keep on reading.
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