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Home Is Not a Country
Goodreads Choice Award
Nominee for Readers' Favorite Poetry (2021)LONGLISTED FOR THE NATIONAL BOOK AWARD
“Nothing short of magic.” —Elizabeth Acevedo, New York Times bestselling author of The Poet X
From the acclaimed poet featured on Forbes Africa’ s “30 Under 30” list, this powerful novel-in-verse captures one girl, caught between cultures, on an unexpected journey to face the ephemeral girl she might have been. Woven through with moments of lyrical beauty, this is a tender meditation on family, belonging, and home.
my mother meant to name me for her favorite flower
its sweetness garlands made for pretty girls
i imagine her yasmeen bright & alive
& i ache to have been born her instead
Nima wishes she were someone else. She doesn’t feel understood by her mother, who grew up in a different land. She doesn’t feel accepted in her suburban town; yet somehow, she isn't different enough to belong elsewhere. Her best friend, Haitham, is the only person with whom she can truly be herself. Until she can't, and suddenly her only refuge is gone.
As the ground is pulled out from under her, Nima must grapple with the phantom of a life not chosen—the name her parents meant to give her at birth—Yasmeen. But that other name, that other girl, might be more real than Nima knows. And the life Nima wishes were someone else's. . . is one she will need to fight for with a fierceness she never knew she possessed.
“Nothing short of magic.” —Elizabeth Acevedo, New York Times bestselling author of The Poet X
From the acclaimed poet featured on Forbes Africa’ s “30 Under 30” list, this powerful novel-in-verse captures one girl, caught between cultures, on an unexpected journey to face the ephemeral girl she might have been. Woven through with moments of lyrical beauty, this is a tender meditation on family, belonging, and home.
my mother meant to name me for her favorite flower
its sweetness garlands made for pretty girls
i imagine her yasmeen bright & alive
& i ache to have been born her instead
Nima wishes she were someone else. She doesn’t feel understood by her mother, who grew up in a different land. She doesn’t feel accepted in her suburban town; yet somehow, she isn't different enough to belong elsewhere. Her best friend, Haitham, is the only person with whom she can truly be herself. Until she can't, and suddenly her only refuge is gone.
As the ground is pulled out from under her, Nima must grapple with the phantom of a life not chosen—the name her parents meant to give her at birth—Yasmeen. But that other name, that other girl, might be more real than Nima knows. And the life Nima wishes were someone else's. . . is one she will need to fight for with a fierceness she never knew she possessed.
224 pages, Paperback
First published March 2, 2021
192 people are currently reading
13750 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,105 reviews
August 24, 2020
So lucky to have read this novel in advance! Safia's verse is awe-inspiring and the world she's built is lush and wonderous.
April 27, 2021
If Elizabeth Acevedo and Nina LaCour wrote a book together, I have a feeling it would look something like this.
November 30, 2021
Now a Goodreads Choice finalist in Poetry!
I am about the furthest thing from an expert on poetry. I have no idea what would be considered “good” and “bad” structure, rhythm, verse—any of it. So this is probably not going to be the best review to read if you’re looking for that kind of analysis.
Instead I can offer what a layman may think about this type of writing. I can recognize that something sounds nice but maybe not be able to articulate why. Also since this is a novel in verse as opposed to a collection of poetry, there’s a flowing narrative throughout that I think most people would be able to follow along with. So I’m going to be reviewing that story and how it’s related to the reader, not so much the prose itself. Hopefully some people still find that helpful.
The first part of the novel follows Nima, a teenage girl living in the United States with her mother, an immigrant from an unnamed Arabic-speaking country. (The author describes the country’s flag as red, green, white & black, and there are likely other markers which would clarify the specific country, but I wasn’t able to pick up on any of them. Safia Elhillo’s parents emigrated from Sudan, but it seems to be an intentional choice not to name their nation of origin, so I didn’t make that assumption with regards to Nima.)
Nima has a lot of the same insecurities of other teenagers, like loneliness and feeling like an outsider, but she’s also struggling in ways many of her peers can’t relate to. Both her and her childhood friend, Haitham, are living in a post-9/11 America. Nima is called a terrorist, mocked for her religion, bullied, shunned and harassed by her classmates and strangers alike. She finds herself daydreaming of an alter-ego version of herself, who Nima thinks of as Yasmeen, and disconnects from her life in the US by imagining what could have been if her mother hadn’t left her homeland.
Then around halfway through the story it changes into something else entirely. Nima enters a kind of dream-like state where she gets to watch her parents when they were young, before she was born, alongside her mirror self Yasmeen. This was a turn I wasn’t expecting this book to take, but I ended up really liking it. The differing perspective for the main character in imagining ‘what could have been’ was a great way to put her own actual life in perspective. Obviously I can’t get too much into the details without giving things away, but it was a welcome subversion of my expectations for this book.
I might have preferred a slightly different ending, but based on the rest of the story where Nima and her family and friends ended up made thematic sense. I wasn’t sure how I would take to a verse novel, but this one has inspired me to pick up more soon. Maybe Clap When You Land next? Not sure, but I’m also excited to read more from this author in the future!
*Thanks to Random House Children’s Make Me A World & Netgalley for an advance copy!
**For more book talk & reviews, follow me on Instagram at @elle_mentbooks!
I am about the furthest thing from an expert on poetry. I have no idea what would be considered “good” and “bad” structure, rhythm, verse—any of it. So this is probably not going to be the best review to read if you’re looking for that kind of analysis.
Instead I can offer what a layman may think about this type of writing. I can recognize that something sounds nice but maybe not be able to articulate why. Also since this is a novel in verse as opposed to a collection of poetry, there’s a flowing narrative throughout that I think most people would be able to follow along with. So I’m going to be reviewing that story and how it’s related to the reader, not so much the prose itself. Hopefully some people still find that helpful.
The first part of the novel follows Nima, a teenage girl living in the United States with her mother, an immigrant from an unnamed Arabic-speaking country. (The author describes the country’s flag as red, green, white & black, and there are likely other markers which would clarify the specific country, but I wasn’t able to pick up on any of them. Safia Elhillo’s parents emigrated from Sudan, but it seems to be an intentional choice not to name their nation of origin, so I didn’t make that assumption with regards to Nima.)
Nima has a lot of the same insecurities of other teenagers, like loneliness and feeling like an outsider, but she’s also struggling in ways many of her peers can’t relate to. Both her and her childhood friend, Haitham, are living in a post-9/11 America. Nima is called a terrorist, mocked for her religion, bullied, shunned and harassed by her classmates and strangers alike. She finds herself daydreaming of an alter-ego version of herself, who Nima thinks of as Yasmeen, and disconnects from her life in the US by imagining what could have been if her mother hadn’t left her homeland.
Then around halfway through the story it changes into something else entirely. Nima enters a kind of dream-like state where she gets to watch her parents when they were young, before she was born, alongside her mirror self Yasmeen. This was a turn I wasn’t expecting this book to take, but I ended up really liking it. The differing perspective for the main character in imagining ‘what could have been’ was a great way to put her own actual life in perspective. Obviously I can’t get too much into the details without giving things away, but it was a welcome subversion of my expectations for this book.
I might have preferred a slightly different ending, but based on the rest of the story where Nima and her family and friends ended up made thematic sense. I wasn’t sure how I would take to a verse novel, but this one has inspired me to pick up more soon. Maybe Clap When You Land next? Not sure, but I’m also excited to read more from this author in the future!
*Thanks to Random House Children’s Make Me A World & Netgalley for an advance copy!
**For more book talk & reviews, follow me on Instagram at @elle_mentbooks!
March 17, 2022
REREAD (March 2022): 2.5 stars /// I'm not really sure why I decided to reread this book right now but I feel pretty similar about it to when I first read it a year ago. Elhillo is a gifted writer (and I can't wait for her new poetry collection that'll come out this July), however, she is not the strongest storyteller.
The plot of Home Is Not A Country is veery straightforward, so much so that some characters feel more like props for Elhillo to get her message across, as opposed to real people. A lot of plot points and problems were solved in the most convenient way (especially the tension between Nima and Yasmeen), as soon as Elhillo got what she wanted out of the characters.
So, whilst I love the writing in this novel, I'm not the biggest fan of its plot and characterisation. On top of that, I feel like the message (= "show more gratitude for the life you've been given, it is full of possibilities") was way too on the nose. Elhillo often let her characters explain what certain events in the novel signify, e.g. when Nima travels through the portal back in time and meets her parallel self Yasmeen, Yasmeen explains to her: "i think we're supposed to watch, to learn something, maybe fill in some of the gaps we both have", and I was like NO SHIT SHERLOCK, thanks for the explanation.
I know this novel is intended for a YA audience, but it still feels like Elhillo dumbed it down to ensure that everyone would GET why certain things happened in the book and what her overall intention was. So, yeah, definitely not my favorite, but somehow still a book I would recommend to people interested in the subject matter. And I genuinely feel I would've enjoyed it more as a teenager, since Nima is a highly relatable teenage girl with all her insecurities and "mundane" problems. I think I would've seen myself in her, especially the beautiful, yet complicated relationship she shares with her mom.
On my reread, my favorite section of the novel was Nima's apology letter to her mother (p.77-78), which ends with the following harrowing lines: "i'm sorry you made this life / for me / instead of the bright & bountiful one / you could have tried to make for only yourself / i'm sorry i embarrass you / i'm sorry i don't have anything to show you / that it was all worth it" – GODDAMN.
REVIEW (March 2021):3 stars /// I discovered Safia Elhillo's work in 2018. Her debut poetry collection, The January Children, had been recommended to me at the time, and I fell in love with her poetic voice. Her poems spoke of trauma, home, immigration, love, and friendship. I could connect with so much of what she was saying (and gosh, she was saying it so beautifully) that I knew that I would pick up whatever she would publish next.
I had to wait a long hard three years until the publication of her first novel, Home Is Not A Country. Naturally, I preordered the book long before it was clear that it would be a YA novel written in verse. I usually tend to stay away from YA but in recent years Elizabeth Acevedo has won me over again and I can definitely see the appeal and charm of YA novels written in verse, especially when it's gifted poets like Elhillo and Acevedo doing the writing. The Poet X has become one of my favorite books of all time, so, needless to say, my expectations for Home Is Not A Country were very high.
Safia Elhillo's novel didn't quite meet all of my expectations but I'm not really mad about it. Home Is Not A Country is still an incredibly beautifully crafted novel with a lot of potential. It echoed her debut poetry collection quite nicely, both in tone and in theme. However, whereas the latter was very self-contained, Home Is Not A Country felt more unfinished and unpolished. Safia Elhillo had many great ideas and ambitions for the novel, but some of fell short due to pacing and other issues in the narrative structure. It felt like she only scratched the surface. Had she kept digging she would've unearthed something brilliant and raw.
Nonetheless, as a reader, you can still see the potential and fill in some of the gaps in the narration and marvel at the beautiful and rich world that Safia Elhillo did create. In the acknowledgements, she wrote:
The book tells the story of Nima who is a working-class, Muslim, immigrant kid raised by a single mother in suburban America. After the death of Nima's father, her pregnant mother had left Sudan in pursuit of a better life, only for Nima to find that the American dream might as well be a nightmare since she doesn't belong. Nima is bullied at school for her accented English, her poverty, her mother's hijab. Despite being born in the US, she isn't "American enough". She is an outsider. And even at home and at Arabic school, she doesn't really fit in. There, she feels not "Arabic enough".
Nima's frustration, her anger, her fears ... all of this was so vividly described by Elhillo that the reader couldn't help but totally feel for her. I wanted to give her a hug and tell her that everything would be okay. Whenever Nima argued with her mother (why did you bring us here? / they hate us / why did you bring me here / to be tortured / to be alone / why would you / do that to me?), I found it so heartbreaking but could understand both sides. Safia Elhillo managed to create characters that felt incredibly real in their struggles. The way she captures the rising islamophobia in the US, especially after 9/11 is chilling. I cannot imagine what it must've been like for Muslims raising children in the US at that particular point in time.
As a teenager, Nima turns inward and wants to disappear. Only her best friend Haitham who lives next door can get her out of her shell. And just as the two of them are best friends, so are their mothers. The two women migrated to the US together over a decade ago, and raised their children alongside each other. Therefore, the bond that Nima and Haitham share is extra special. But one day, shortly after 9/11, Haitham is beaten up in a hate crime, winding up in a hospital hooked up to machines. This sets off a chain of events that lets Nima discover her family's history in an usual manner – she is able to travel back in time and is given the opportunity to change the past.
This magical realism element came quite out of the blue (it is introduced a third way into the book) and so I had to adjust my expectations a bit, but ultimately, it was a great plot device that added a lot of richness (as Nima was able to explore Sudan and her mother's adolescence) and suspense to the story.
Home Is Not A Country has many twists and turns, many of which I didn't see coming. It was a captivating read, and I wasn't surprised that I read it within a couple hours. One thing I really loved about the book was how well fleshed out the friendship between Nima and Haitham was. Safia Elhillo made me care for both of them deeply, and that within a couple of pages.
I know what Safia Elhillo was trying to achieve during the time travelling interlude, but I don't think it was as successful as it could've been. The whole episode felt very rushed. Nima is to quick to accept that she has just travelled in time, and her tensions with Yasmeen (the girl who guides her through the past) are resolved too quickly and not very convincingly. Had this part of the book been revised and refined, Home Is Not A Country would probably be a 5-star read for me!
However, the origins of Yasmeen are still interesting. Some people have the gift of understanding that they could have been other people; Nima is one of them. She understands that her own life is just one branch of a tree, and the seeds that became her could have just as easily become someone else. Since she always wished to be invisible and to disappear, she projected all of her feelings on Yasmeen, the girl she should've been. Yasmeen is the name her father wanted to give her, therefore, she shapes it into a more graceful and confident version of herself. Yasmeen is everything she wants to be. But when Yasmeen takes real shape as Nima travels to the past, the two girls don't get along very well ... after all, they both know that only one of them will come back out of this trip alive.
The premise of having Nima and Yasmeen compete to change the past, so that they are the one who'll come out alive was fascinating and could've been so cool. But like I explained earlier, the execution was a bit of a mess and the whole episode felt extremely rushed. Nonetheless, I love the lessons that Nima took away from this trip.
More than anything, I appreciate Home Is Not A Country for the love letters to all the hard-working and loving mothers out there ("her name aisha means she who lives / but mostly she goes to work & comes home tired") that it is. Despite its flaws, I would recommend it to people who are interested in novels written in verse and/or are familiar with Safia's work and enjoyed it thus far!
The plot of Home Is Not A Country is veery straightforward, so much so that some characters feel more like props for Elhillo to get her message across, as opposed to real people. A lot of plot points and problems were solved in the most convenient way (especially the tension between Nima and Yasmeen), as soon as Elhillo got what she wanted out of the characters.
So, whilst I love the writing in this novel, I'm not the biggest fan of its plot and characterisation. On top of that, I feel like the message (= "show more gratitude for the life you've been given, it is full of possibilities") was way too on the nose. Elhillo often let her characters explain what certain events in the novel signify, e.g. when Nima travels through the portal back in time and meets her parallel self Yasmeen, Yasmeen explains to her: "i think we're supposed to watch, to learn something, maybe fill in some of the gaps we both have", and I was like NO SHIT SHERLOCK, thanks for the explanation.
I know this novel is intended for a YA audience, but it still feels like Elhillo dumbed it down to ensure that everyone would GET why certain things happened in the book and what her overall intention was. So, yeah, definitely not my favorite, but somehow still a book I would recommend to people interested in the subject matter. And I genuinely feel I would've enjoyed it more as a teenager, since Nima is a highly relatable teenage girl with all her insecurities and "mundane" problems. I think I would've seen myself in her, especially the beautiful, yet complicated relationship she shares with her mom.
On my reread, my favorite section of the novel was Nima's apology letter to her mother (p.77-78), which ends with the following harrowing lines: "i'm sorry you made this life / for me / instead of the bright & bountiful one / you could have tried to make for only yourself / i'm sorry i embarrass you / i'm sorry i don't have anything to show you / that it was all worth it" – GODDAMN.
REVIEW (March 2021):3 stars /// I discovered Safia Elhillo's work in 2018. Her debut poetry collection, The January Children, had been recommended to me at the time, and I fell in love with her poetic voice. Her poems spoke of trauma, home, immigration, love, and friendship. I could connect with so much of what she was saying (and gosh, she was saying it so beautifully) that I knew that I would pick up whatever she would publish next.
I had to wait a long hard three years until the publication of her first novel, Home Is Not A Country. Naturally, I preordered the book long before it was clear that it would be a YA novel written in verse. I usually tend to stay away from YA but in recent years Elizabeth Acevedo has won me over again and I can definitely see the appeal and charm of YA novels written in verse, especially when it's gifted poets like Elhillo and Acevedo doing the writing. The Poet X has become one of my favorite books of all time, so, needless to say, my expectations for Home Is Not A Country were very high.
Safia Elhillo's novel didn't quite meet all of my expectations but I'm not really mad about it. Home Is Not A Country is still an incredibly beautifully crafted novel with a lot of potential. It echoed her debut poetry collection quite nicely, both in tone and in theme. However, whereas the latter was very self-contained, Home Is Not A Country felt more unfinished and unpolished. Safia Elhillo had many great ideas and ambitions for the novel, but some of fell short due to pacing and other issues in the narrative structure. It felt like she only scratched the surface. Had she kept digging she would've unearthed something brilliant and raw.
Nonetheless, as a reader, you can still see the potential and fill in some of the gaps in the narration and marvel at the beautiful and rich world that Safia Elhillo did create. In the acknowledgements, she wrote:
Even during the times I didn’t know where I was from, I have always known those to whom I belong.And that's exactly the spirit of the whole book. Home Is Not A Country is not a love letter to Sudan nor to the US, even though the plot is split between these two places. It is a love letter to mothers and daughters and the bond they share. It is a love letter to friendship, to all the people who we can trust and count on no matter what. It is a love letter to the home we make ourselves.
The book tells the story of Nima who is a working-class, Muslim, immigrant kid raised by a single mother in suburban America. After the death of Nima's father, her pregnant mother had left Sudan in pursuit of a better life, only for Nima to find that the American dream might as well be a nightmare since she doesn't belong. Nima is bullied at school for her accented English, her poverty, her mother's hijab. Despite being born in the US, she isn't "American enough". She is an outsider. And even at home and at Arabic school, she doesn't really fit in. There, she feels not "Arabic enough".
Nima's frustration, her anger, her fears ... all of this was so vividly described by Elhillo that the reader couldn't help but totally feel for her. I wanted to give her a hug and tell her that everything would be okay. Whenever Nima argued with her mother (why did you bring us here? / they hate us / why did you bring me here / to be tortured / to be alone / why would you / do that to me?), I found it so heartbreaking but could understand both sides. Safia Elhillo managed to create characters that felt incredibly real in their struggles. The way she captures the rising islamophobia in the US, especially after 9/11 is chilling. I cannot imagine what it must've been like for Muslims raising children in the US at that particular point in time.
i know something happened on the news againNima's mind often wanders back to her mother's (and her?) home country, she listens to old Arabic songs and gets lost in the old photographs of her parents. Sometimes, she wishes her mother had never left. She feels lost and clings to the idealised dream of Sudan that she has created in her head ever since she was little, seeing the longing on the adult's faces around here.
because my mother has stopped wearing her scarf
to work
she who once said
i will never be ashamed of where come from
i will never let you be ashamed of who we are
seems to have changed her mind & i wonder
if this means i should feel ashamed too
As a teenager, Nima turns inward and wants to disappear. Only her best friend Haitham who lives next door can get her out of her shell. And just as the two of them are best friends, so are their mothers. The two women migrated to the US together over a decade ago, and raised their children alongside each other. Therefore, the bond that Nima and Haitham share is extra special. But one day, shortly after 9/11, Haitham is beaten up in a hate crime, winding up in a hospital hooked up to machines. This sets off a chain of events that lets Nima discover her family's history in an usual manner – she is able to travel back in time and is given the opportunity to change the past.
This magical realism element came quite out of the blue (it is introduced a third way into the book) and so I had to adjust my expectations a bit, but ultimately, it was a great plot device that added a lot of richness (as Nima was able to explore Sudan and her mother's adolescence) and suspense to the story.
Home Is Not A Country has many twists and turns, many of which I didn't see coming. It was a captivating read, and I wasn't surprised that I read it within a couple hours. One thing I really loved about the book was how well fleshed out the friendship between Nima and Haitham was. Safia Elhillo made me care for both of them deeply, and that within a couple of pages.
are you going to tell? he whispersTherefore, when Haitham winds up at the hospital, it was a great strategic narrative choice to put the time travelling interlude next, therefore, delaying the resolution of Haitham's fate. During the whole time travelling interlude, the reader is on the edge of their seat because we cannot bare for Haitham to die. By delaying certainty, we, as readers, are put in Nima's shoes as she explores her parents' past whilst also worrying about Haitham. This choice added a sense of urgency to the whole narrative, which I highly appreciated.
& i shake my head thrumming
with excitement & fear a grin
stretches across his face good
he begins unwrapping the candy
because half of these are yours
I know what Safia Elhillo was trying to achieve during the time travelling interlude, but I don't think it was as successful as it could've been. The whole episode felt very rushed. Nima is to quick to accept that she has just travelled in time, and her tensions with Yasmeen (the girl who guides her through the past) are resolved too quickly and not very convincingly. Had this part of the book been revised and refined, Home Is Not A Country would probably be a 5-star read for me!
However, the origins of Yasmeen are still interesting. Some people have the gift of understanding that they could have been other people; Nima is one of them. She understands that her own life is just one branch of a tree, and the seeds that became her could have just as easily become someone else. Since she always wished to be invisible and to disappear, she projected all of her feelings on Yasmeen, the girl she should've been. Yasmeen is the name her father wanted to give her, therefore, she shapes it into a more graceful and confident version of herself. Yasmeen is everything she wants to be. But when Yasmeen takes real shape as Nima travels to the past, the two girls don't get along very well ... after all, they both know that only one of them will come back out of this trip alive.
The premise of having Nima and Yasmeen compete to change the past, so that they are the one who'll come out alive was fascinating and could've been so cool. But like I explained earlier, the execution was a bit of a mess and the whole episode felt extremely rushed. Nonetheless, I love the lessons that Nima took away from this trip.
but i was wrong he was never meant to be ours my fatherNima felt so certain that one decision would solve all her problems, only to learn that nothing came out the way she expected and that not much has changed after all (). All of these what-ifs that only distract us without serving us any good. The book explores how questions about where we come from can take over our life, when the answer lies right there in the people who are closest to us, who are there for us, who make us us.
he was always meant to be gone it was always bigger
than anything my small tampering could change
& my mother & i we were always meant to belong
to no one but each other
More than anything, I appreciate Home Is Not A Country for the love letters to all the hard-working and loving mothers out there ("her name aisha means she who lives / but mostly she goes to work & comes home tired") that it is. Despite its flaws, I would recommend it to people who are interested in novels written in verse and/or are familiar with Safia's work and enjoyed it thus far!
February 7, 2021
Going into this book I had no idea what to expect aside from the fact that it was told in verse and compared to Elizabeth Acevedo and Jason Reynolds.
The first part of the book discusses racism, bullying, and trying to find acceptance in yourself. Yasmeen is obsessed with another version of herself that could have been and is unhappy in America. A touch of magical realism is introduced later on, which I didn’t expect but it was done so well. I would go into this book without reading much because I was pleasantly surprised. I can't really give this a proper review but definitely read this if you like books written in verse. This book is heartbreaking and just so beautifully done, I recommend this one for sure.
Thanks so much to Netgalley and the publisher for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
The first part of the book discusses racism, bullying, and trying to find acceptance in yourself. Yasmeen is obsessed with another version of herself that could have been and is unhappy in America. A touch of magical realism is introduced later on, which I didn’t expect but it was done so well. I would go into this book without reading much because I was pleasantly surprised. I can't really give this a proper review but definitely read this if you like books written in verse. This book is heartbreaking and just so beautifully done, I recommend this one for sure.
Thanks so much to Netgalley and the publisher for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
March 2, 2021
Safia Elhillo is one of my absolutely favorite poets (check out her earlier collection, The January Children, and then watch her perform her work on YouTube!)
This is a YA novel in verse about a Sudanese (pre)teen named Nima who has moved with her mother to the United States after the death of her father (and rising conflict in her country.) Themes include a tumultuous friendship with her friend Haitham, the alternate girl with the alternate name (Yasmeen) whose life she imagines (the one who she might have been if her father hadn't died,) and the difficulties of finding friendship and community in a place that doesn't feel quite like home. Safia includes themes familiar to her earlier work about language, homeland, music, and belonging.
This comes from the Make Me a World imprint from Random House, alongside Pet by Akwaeke Emezi among others. It comes out today (March 2) and I had a copy from the publisher through NetGalley. Perfect for fans of Elizabeth Acevedo, who blurbed the book!
This is a YA novel in verse about a Sudanese (pre)teen named Nima who has moved with her mother to the United States after the death of her father (and rising conflict in her country.) Themes include a tumultuous friendship with her friend Haitham, the alternate girl with the alternate name (Yasmeen) whose life she imagines (the one who she might have been if her father hadn't died,) and the difficulties of finding friendship and community in a place that doesn't feel quite like home. Safia includes themes familiar to her earlier work about language, homeland, music, and belonging.
This comes from the Make Me a World imprint from Random House, alongside Pet by Akwaeke Emezi among others. It comes out today (March 2) and I had a copy from the publisher through NetGalley. Perfect for fans of Elizabeth Acevedo, who blurbed the book!
March 7, 2021
What does it mean to be home?
Is home your country? Your neighborhood? Your house?
For Nima, a young girl born in America to immigrant parents neither country feels like home. She has a feel for the old country through the stories and songs and pictures that she lovingly hoards as the “Nostalgia Monster” but she is not the traditional girl. She doesn’t dress herself up all fancy to appease the aunties. Despite the fact that it hurts sometimes when she overhears them gossiping about how she doesn’t fit the mold. Though immersed in American culture at school, she still stands out and must face discrimination. This is why for Nima home is not some randomly constructed border called country, but the community that she lives in. It’s the people around her. The people who love her and care for her like Haitham.
Elhillo explores borders further through the character Yasmeen. Fans of the poet were first introduced to Yasmeen in a poem about identity:
Yasmeen’s character allows us to venture into the possibilities of life. A lot of times, especially as a teenager, you are trying to figure out who you are and what your place is in this world. Time is spent imagining a different reality. What if I were skinny, rich, . . . whatever, what would my life be like then? What if? Even as adults we wonder how our world would be different if certain events had not happened to us. Yasmeen allows Nima to see what those possibilities could be. Nima learns that she is not beholden to borders whether they be political lines or societal stereotypes. Most importantly, — those little boxes that we draw ourselves into, those self-imposed barriers — can be breeched and hurdled.
Home is Not a Country is a beautiful book both inside and out. I don’t feel as if there are any words that I can say that could capture the wonder and the richness of this work. I first “met” Safia Elhillo in The BreakBeat Poets, Vol. 2: Black Girl Magic. So when I heard that this book was coming out I immediately requested the audiobook through my library. This gave me the opportunity to read the book in print while listening to Elhillo tell Nima’s story. Besides her cadence, I really appreciated listening to her speak and sing Arabic. This was truly a multi-dimensional experience for me that was heightened by the music in Elhillo’s Spotify playlist.
February 28, 2021
Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Children’s for providing a digital copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Nima and her mother have fled their homeland in search of the American dream. Unfortunately Nima does not feel like she belongs in America at all. She is often excluded and bullied at school, and her peers call her a terrorist. She wishes that her late father could emerge and make it all better. When given the chance at a new, different life, Nima finds that the grass is not always greener on the other side, and maybe her mother is all she ever needed after all.
Nima and her mother have fled their homeland in search of the American dream. Unfortunately Nima does not feel like she belongs in America at all. She is often excluded and bullied at school, and her peers call her a terrorist. She wishes that her late father could emerge and make it all better. When given the chance at a new, different life, Nima finds that the grass is not always greener on the other side, and maybe her mother is all she ever needed after all.
March 22, 2021
I love books that our written in verse. Even though I found the writing beautiful it left me wanting more of a story instead of the back and forth timeline.
April 30, 2021
Thank you Penguin Random House International for the gifted copy!
I usually do enjoy books written in verse but I've finally found one that I can easily say I loved. This book was so powerful, so raw and unbelievably amazing. The writing was fantastic! I was hooked on every word and was flipping the pages so quickly, all because I wanted to see what we'd explore next. I haven't faced Islamophobia half as much as other Muslims have but every comment and action made against Nima and her mother felt like a direct hit. I felt exactly what she felt, and as painful as that sometimes was the author brought that to life perfectly. There was also a magical twist to this which I absolutely loved! It brought so much hope to the whole story. It had me tearing up by the end. I loved that Nima was facing herself in a way. To see yourself as another person, someone entirely different. To wonder what you'd be like if only you were a certain way. It was such a great thing to explore and the way Nima handled it was superb. This entire book was beautiful and tragic all at once. If you pick up any books in verse, please make sure that this is one of them. I can't recommend this enough. It struck something in me that I can't even explain. If I had to recommend just one poetry book then you can bet this would be it.
I usually do enjoy books written in verse but I've finally found one that I can easily say I loved. This book was so powerful, so raw and unbelievably amazing. The writing was fantastic! I was hooked on every word and was flipping the pages so quickly, all because I wanted to see what we'd explore next. I haven't faced Islamophobia half as much as other Muslims have but every comment and action made against Nima and her mother felt like a direct hit. I felt exactly what she felt, and as painful as that sometimes was the author brought that to life perfectly. There was also a magical twist to this which I absolutely loved! It brought so much hope to the whole story. It had me tearing up by the end. I loved that Nima was facing herself in a way. To see yourself as another person, someone entirely different. To wonder what you'd be like if only you were a certain way. It was such a great thing to explore and the way Nima handled it was superb. This entire book was beautiful and tragic all at once. If you pick up any books in verse, please make sure that this is one of them. I can't recommend this enough. It struck something in me that I can't even explain. If I had to recommend just one poetry book then you can bet this would be it.
September 5, 2022
Absolutely loved this book! Originally borrowed a copy from the library because the synopsis sounded interesting and I’ve been trying poetry out more this year. THIS IS MY KIND OF POETRY BOOK! After I finished I immediately bought my own copy. Can’t recommend giving this book a listen enough.
February 18, 2021
I already know this is one of the best books I will read this year. The last time I cried this much in a book was in A Sky Beyond the Storm. It caught me off guard honestly - how raw and honest and breathing ly beautiful this is. To all my children of immigrants, this is a must read. This is written in verse as well but it is easy to read, easy to keep up with, and there’s so much to unpack. This is definitely one of those books I wish I had analyzed in English and Reading growing up in the American education system instead of consistent poetry written by old white men. The feeling of loneliness, of not belonging, of wanting to be different and wanting more was captured so perfectly by Safia. I can’t recommend this enough. Just wow.
May 5, 2021
I thought this would be more in verse but the writing was closer to prose (which I like much better!). I loved how Elhillo added a touch of magical realism when discussing racism, bullying, and self-acceptance/feeling comfortable in one's skin. Beautiful writing and brutally honest.
June 23, 2021
Book 126 of 2021
✨ Home is not a Country by Safia Elhillo ✨
⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐
Not even on some suicidal shit, but life gets tiring sometimes. It gets so overwhelming and sometimes you start to wonder why you were even born, or even wishing you were never born.
Well, the phrase "be careful what you wish for" really comes in handy here, because Nima, the MC of this book kept wishing she was never born... Until her wish was on the brink of coming true.
This book sees Nima dealing with a lot of internal and external issues, family struggles, Islamophobia, and so much more. I loved the writing and the audiobook narration.
The fact that this was blurbed by my queen Elizabeth Acevedo made me want to read it, and @booksnailmail 's review (which you should all Read btw) sealed the deal.
The immigrant experience, mother-daughter relationships, and so much more are discussed in this book.
I loved so many things about this book and I definitely recommend it.
✨ Home is not a Country by Safia Elhillo ✨
⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐
Not even on some suicidal shit, but life gets tiring sometimes. It gets so overwhelming and sometimes you start to wonder why you were even born, or even wishing you were never born.
Well, the phrase "be careful what you wish for" really comes in handy here, because Nima, the MC of this book kept wishing she was never born... Until her wish was on the brink of coming true.
This book sees Nima dealing with a lot of internal and external issues, family struggles, Islamophobia, and so much more. I loved the writing and the audiobook narration.
The fact that this was blurbed by my queen Elizabeth Acevedo made me want to read it, and @booksnailmail 's review (which you should all Read btw) sealed the deal.
The immigrant experience, mother-daughter relationships, and so much more are discussed in this book.
I loved so many things about this book and I definitely recommend it.
to-read-so-bad-it-hurts
July 8, 2020An #ownvoices book about a Sudanese American Muslim girl, family and identity, yessss
April 30, 2021
"my mother and I were always meant to belong
to no one but each other"
A gorgeously written novel in verse about home, family, nostalgia, what it means to belong, and a painfully beautiful mother-daughter relationship. There's also a magical element in this book that I wasn't expecting but worked so well with the story and its themes.
I just adored this novel and I think it's best to go into it without knowing much - so please do pick it up if you want a quick, memorable read.
CWs: racism, islamophobia, hate crime, hints of sexual harassment
Rep: Sudanese-American Muslim MC
July 24, 2025
2025 reads: 177/300
content warnings: islamophobia, racism, bullying, hate crime, death of parent (past)
this novel in verse follows nima, a girl who doesn’t feel understood by her peers, family, or community. luckily, she has has her childhood friend haitham, but when she isn’t able to rely on him anymore, she begins to grapple with what could’ve been had she been named yasmeen, had her dad been alive, had she and her mom stayed in their home country. but yasmeen might be more real than nima knows.
this was such a beautiful story about identity, family, and belonging. i loved how nima’s internal struggles were depicted, especially once yasmeen showed up. i loved how this part dipped a bit into the paranormal realm; that was very interesting! nima also had such a complex relationship with her mom. she always grieved the parent she never had, and resents her mom for bringing her to the u.s. and away from home, but throughout the story, realizes her mother’s sacrifices and learns to see her mom in a new light. overall, this was a lovely novel in verse. i would love to read more from safia elhillo in the future.
content warnings: islamophobia, racism, bullying, hate crime, death of parent (past)
this novel in verse follows nima, a girl who doesn’t feel understood by her peers, family, or community. luckily, she has has her childhood friend haitham, but when she isn’t able to rely on him anymore, she begins to grapple with what could’ve been had she been named yasmeen, had her dad been alive, had she and her mom stayed in their home country. but yasmeen might be more real than nima knows.
this was such a beautiful story about identity, family, and belonging. i loved how nima’s internal struggles were depicted, especially once yasmeen showed up. i loved how this part dipped a bit into the paranormal realm; that was very interesting! nima also had such a complex relationship with her mom. she always grieved the parent she never had, and resents her mom for bringing her to the u.s. and away from home, but throughout the story, realizes her mother’s sacrifices and learns to see her mom in a new light. overall, this was a lovely novel in verse. i would love to read more from safia elhillo in the future.
July 3, 2022
Wow. So good.
March 18, 2023
A stunning coming-of-age story of immigration, identity, and (of course) home told entirely in-verse.
Nima’s a diaspora kid from a vague Arabic-speaking country and Islamic household struggling to navigate her identity in the U. S. in the wake of 9/11 and unrelated loss of her father.
When her only friend and sole source of unconditional love and acceptance is suddenly removed from her life, Nima must make this journey to understanding herself alone. In this loneliness and want to understand her culture in a more meaningful way, Nima creates an alter ego to not only guide her, but to act as a companion and sound board.
These two versions of the same girl go on a fascinating adventure through reality and time to better connect Nina with who she is and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from it all.
It’s a story that packs an overwhelming punch with its poetry filled with frustration, isolation, loneliness, anger, grief, regret, love, and the painfully human desire for connection. For such a short book, I had so much trouble breathing through it all.
Magical and visceral and captivating.
Wowowowowow
CW: dead parent, grief, racism, xenophobia, Islamophobia (both verbal and physically violent specifically in the aftermath of 9/11), bullying, violence (including hate crimes), police brutality, parental abandonment/absentee parent
Nima’s a diaspora kid from a vague Arabic-speaking country and Islamic household struggling to navigate her identity in the U. S. in the wake of 9/11 and unrelated loss of her father.
When her only friend and sole source of unconditional love and acceptance is suddenly removed from her life, Nima must make this journey to understanding herself alone. In this loneliness and want to understand her culture in a more meaningful way, Nima creates an alter ego to not only guide her, but to act as a companion and sound board.
These two versions of the same girl go on a fascinating adventure through reality and time to better connect Nina with who she is and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from it all.
It’s a story that packs an overwhelming punch with its poetry filled with frustration, isolation, loneliness, anger, grief, regret, love, and the painfully human desire for connection. For such a short book, I had so much trouble breathing through it all.
Magical and visceral and captivating.
Wowowowowow
CW: dead parent, grief, racism, xenophobia, Islamophobia (both verbal and physically violent specifically in the aftermath of 9/11), bullying, violence (including hate crimes), police brutality, parental abandonment/absentee parent
September 5, 2021
Such a haunting and emotional look into grief, family, origins, and identity. Absolutely adored it and would recommend it to anyone who's looking for a moving tale.
April 10, 2022
For teen lit, we have to do an 'end of novel' project, so I decided to write a review in verse. Here it is... (sorry the formatting got all messed up so yeah.)
home is not a country —
a phrase many might not agree with
but something that nima needed to learn
a story of friendship broken and new
family living and dead
identity familiar and unknown
nima a girl with seemingly no story
that filled a beautiful book
filled my heart with lush verse and brighter eyes
eyes to see a world I’d never known
one i want to learn more about
just like nima
a searing story
about wishes and how they are not always what we
get
not always what we
need
because as soon as nima stepped into the past
she betrayed herself
yasmeen the girl she wanted to be
tried to destroy nima
because of jealousy
sending the message that
no matter who we are
we will always wish to be someone else
i can’t keep wishing i was her
when she might wish to be me
even if i became her
i’ll find someone new to long to be…
it’s a book i needed
a message i forgot
a gentle reminder
that i am enough
☞ 4 stars (really liked it)
home is not a country —
a phrase many might not agree with
but something that nima needed to learn
a story of friendship broken and new
family living and dead
identity familiar and unknown
nima a girl with seemingly no story
that filled a beautiful book
filled my heart with lush verse and brighter eyes
eyes to see a world I’d never known
one i want to learn more about
just like nima
a searing story
about wishes and how they are not always what we
get
not always what we
need
because as soon as nima stepped into the past
she betrayed herself
yasmeen the girl she wanted to be
tried to destroy nima
because of jealousy
sending the message that
no matter who we are
we will always wish to be someone else
i can’t keep wishing i was her
when she might wish to be me
even if i became her
i’ll find someone new to long to be…
it’s a book i needed
a message i forgot
a gentle reminder
that i am enough
☞ 4 stars (really liked it)
March 24, 2021
4 stars *may change
(points) hey, that’s my moms name
(points) hey, that’s my moms name
September 18, 2022
CWs:
Since this is a novel in verse, I highly recommend the audiobook, which is narrated by the author.
I don't think this story is very plot-heavy, but it does tackle some difficult issues like racism and Islamophobia. The prose is beautiful; I'm not sure I would have enjoyed it as much if I'd read this physically, though, since I'm not a huge poetry reader in general. If you enjoy Elizabeth Acevedo's books, you might enjoy this one as well.
Since this is a novel in verse, I highly recommend the audiobook, which is narrated by the author.
I don't think this story is very plot-heavy, but it does tackle some difficult issues like racism and Islamophobia. The prose is beautiful; I'm not sure I would have enjoyed it as much if I'd read this physically, though, since I'm not a huge poetry reader in general. If you enjoy Elizabeth Acevedo's books, you might enjoy this one as well.
March 23, 2021
I usually find novels written in verse either lacking in a solid story structure or lacking in that prose you're looking for in a book of poetry. This genre has really let me down over the years, but this one manages to mesh the two aspects of a free verse novel perfectly.
Nima lives with her mom in America, having immigrated after the death of her father in a car accident. In addition to those struggles that come with fitting into a new culture as a teenager, she also struggles with meeting the imagined expectations of a name she almost possessed. She was told that her mother almost named her Yasmeen, and throughout the entire book, Nima grapples with this perfect, idealized version of herself who she wishes she could be. Through a twist of magical realism, she comes face to face with that girl and tries to learn to accept the real version of herself.
I loved nearly everything about this book -- the pacing was excellent, the character development was spot on, the prose was phenomenal. There were some minor sci-fi things that had me grumpy at the end, but I thought it worked for the story's resolution, and it was small enough to be forgivable for that 5 star review. My only qualms with this novel is that the poetry can't stand alone so I can excerpt it for use in my classroom. I will, however, be buying a copy for my classroom library!
Nima lives with her mom in America, having immigrated after the death of her father in a car accident. In addition to those struggles that come with fitting into a new culture as a teenager, she also struggles with meeting the imagined expectations of a name she almost possessed. She was told that her mother almost named her Yasmeen, and throughout the entire book, Nima grapples with this perfect, idealized version of herself who she wishes she could be. Through a twist of magical realism, she comes face to face with that girl and tries to learn to accept the real version of herself.
I loved nearly everything about this book -- the pacing was excellent, the character development was spot on, the prose was phenomenal. There were some minor sci-fi things that had me grumpy at the end, but I thought it worked for the story's resolution, and it was small enough to be forgivable for that 5 star review. My only qualms with this novel is that the poetry can't stand alone so I can excerpt it for use in my classroom. I will, however, be buying a copy for my classroom library!
May 17, 2022
This was quite the moving novel in verse!
Rep: first generation Arab-American muslim cis female MC, various Arab and Arab American side characters.
CWs: Bullying, racism, islamophobia, death of parent, xenophobia, death, gun violence, hate crime, violence, racial slurs, abandonment. Moderate: Grief, police brutality, emotional abuse, religious bigotry, rape, injury/injury detail. Minor: Infidelity, car accident, medical content, ableism, pregnancy.
Rep: first generation Arab-American muslim cis female MC, various Arab and Arab American side characters.
CWs: Bullying, racism, islamophobia, death of parent, xenophobia, death, gun violence, hate crime, violence, racial slurs, abandonment. Moderate: Grief, police brutality, emotional abuse, religious bigotry, rape, injury/injury detail. Minor: Infidelity, car accident, medical content, ableism, pregnancy.
July 28, 2023
a beautiful ode to immigrant mothers. home is indeed not a country, it is a mother.
March 15, 2022
Nostalgic. Sweet. A little sad.
August 28, 2025
Sealey Challenge 2025: 12/31
Home Is Not a Country is a novel told in verse, and while Safia Elhillo’s poetic language is undeniably beautiful, I found that this format didn’t quite serve the story in the most effective way. The verse structure created an emotional distance for me that made it difficult to fully connect with the characters — even during moments that were clearly meant to be intense and dramatic.
The beginning of the novel felt somewhat fragmented, which made it challenging to get fully immersed. However, the story gains momentum in the second half, especially with the reveal of a powerful twist that leaves the reader guessing what the implications will be for all involved. This turn in the narrative added depth and delivered a strong message that resonated more clearly for me than the patchwork I was trying to craft in the beginning.
While I appreciated the lyrical quality of the writing and admired the ambition of telling a story this way, I think I personally connect more with Elhillo’s poetry collections than her work in long-form verse. Still, there’s no denying the talent behind the words!
Home Is Not a Country is a novel told in verse, and while Safia Elhillo’s poetic language is undeniably beautiful, I found that this format didn’t quite serve the story in the most effective way. The verse structure created an emotional distance for me that made it difficult to fully connect with the characters — even during moments that were clearly meant to be intense and dramatic.
The beginning of the novel felt somewhat fragmented, which made it challenging to get fully immersed. However, the story gains momentum in the second half, especially with the reveal of a powerful twist that leaves the reader guessing what the implications will be for all involved. This turn in the narrative added depth and delivered a strong message that resonated more clearly for me than the patchwork I was trying to craft in the beginning.
While I appreciated the lyrical quality of the writing and admired the ambition of telling a story this way, I think I personally connect more with Elhillo’s poetry collections than her work in long-form verse. Still, there’s no denying the talent behind the words!
February 10, 2022
4.5 stars. I loved this book and the only reason it's not 5 stars is because it didn't make me cry (I'm picky). The prose and style of writing was beautiful and the message it conveyed inviting. Home is not a Country but the community and family that you create for yourself. That is something that I have worked on making for myself my whole adult life. It's a concept that I genuinely believe in and it was portrayed in this book lovingly.
It was gratifying to be able to read a story like this from the perspective of an arab girl growing up in the United States. The names, stories, songs and singers that she spoke about were all things I also grew up surrounded by and it was delightful to finally feel that deep of a connection to a character. Something that I as an arabic girl also growing up in the United States have yet to experience in my 32 years on this earth. It was a truly lovely book and highly recommend.
It was gratifying to be able to read a story like this from the perspective of an arab girl growing up in the United States. The names, stories, songs and singers that she spoke about were all things I also grew up surrounded by and it was delightful to finally feel that deep of a connection to a character. Something that I as an arabic girl also growing up in the United States have yet to experience in my 32 years on this earth. It was a truly lovely book and highly recommend.
February 4, 2021
This is a beautiful novel written in a poetic prose. A rather quick and flowing read, but one with meaning and depth that will stick with readers even after the final page is turned. This book addresses several themes such as immigration, identity, belonging, connection, community, generational trauma, and many more. Symbolic as well as reflective, Home Is Not a Country challenges its characters and its readers to think beyond our typical worldviews to mediate on past, present, and future.
Thank you to Netgalley and Random House Children's for an arc in exchange for an honest review. A full review will be posted on https://www.armedwithabook.com/ closer to publication date.
Thank you to Netgalley and Random House Children's for an arc in exchange for an honest review. A full review will be posted on https://www.armedwithabook.com/ closer to publication date.
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