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Second Parent: A Memoir

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Despite a growing number of people who identify as LGBTQ, there are surprisingly few accounts of queer parenthood. Written by a lesbian, non-biological mother, this story fills the gap with perspective and grace.
After her wife gave birth, Lora struggled to find her identity as a new parent and lesbian, non-biological mother. When she learned that the legal system did not fully recognize her parental status as a non-biological parent, she chose to do a "second parent" adoption. Initially, this further spurred feelings of inadequacy. She was not the bio-mom. She was the second parent, the other mother. As Lora's son grew, she grappled to fit into social and legal landscapes and even her own family.
In this memoir, Lora shares an honest account of her journey into parenthood. She reflects on growing up with a mother living with mental illness and how that experience raised questions about her new role. With clarity and humor, Lora describes her new identity as a lesbian, non-biological mother, which grows to encompass the words parent, mother, and family.
Second Parent is a current account of life as a queer parent, post 2016 United State's elections. This story acknowledges the frequently confusing patchwork of state legal systems affecting LGBTQ families. Lora describes her own narrative against this backdrop, as a lesbian, non-biological mother living in the Northwest.

194 pages, Paperback

Published June 1, 2021

16 people want to read

About the author

Lora Liegel

2 books2 followers
Lora Liegel lives in Bellingham, Washington – the ancestral homelands of the Coast Salish peoples. She lives with her wife and two children.

Liegel grew up in the Willamette Valley of Oregon, where the grass fields expanded to the horizon and the white swans were heard overhead. Over the course of 20 years, Liegel’s work has taken her to trails, farm fields, and the great forests of the Pacific Northwest.

Her writing draws from her own experiences while connecting to the larger threads of our collective voice. Liegel is continually inspired by the healing powers of nature - plants, water, rock, stone and bone. Her writing focuses on memoir and poetry.

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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
1 review
March 10, 2022
I bought the book as an LBTQ+ ally, and ended finding a story that was relatable, but from a very personal perspective, that is too often unseen. Lora shares her coming of age journey, showing the sometimes joyful, sometimes painful path to where she is now: a wife and mother of two kids, and all the life stuff that comes with that. And a great read too! Thanks Lora for being vulnerable and sharing your life story with us!
Profile Image for Aly.
214 reviews4 followers
April 23, 2022
I read this book because my fiancé and I are about to have a baby and it was nice to have someone write from my point of view. The reason I gave it 3 stars was mostly because alot of the experience given, while I appreciate the honesty, was very negative in regards to becoming a parent. It made it seem like a horrible experience becoming a parent at all.
Profile Image for Heidi.
93 reviews2 followers
September 6, 2021
Very informative book on what your thought process is as a second parent in the LGBTQ world. I look forward to learning more on the website. Would highly recommend for any LGBTQ couples that are thinking of becoming parents.
Profile Image for Hillary.
2 reviews
October 13, 2021
I’m not part of the LGBTQ community and I’m not a parent, but I still loved reading about Lora’s experiences. This book is a quick read but so informative, the perfect blend of vulnerable sharing and excellent resource.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews

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