Feeling Myself: How I shed my shame to find sexual freedom and you can too

by Natalie Lee

Trauma, porn, masturbation, sexuality, sex after motherhood, sex when you feel sh*t about your body, sex after separation... these are all topics around which we skirt delicately, as if they're bombs which will explode if we prod them too curiously. In this way, sex is intimately connected with shame. Like most of us, shame has followed me around for most of my life. I felt shame for the colour of my skin, shame for being female, and shame for wanting more, but I also felt shame around the subject of masturbation. Even as an adult, I carried an intense feeling that masturbation was somehow dirty. I look back on this now and realise how warped our approach to sex is and how the shame that surrounds these conversations holds women back. In this honest and revealing memoir, Natalie Lee digs deep into her own relationship with sex to expose the shame that many of us feel. Taking us through her journey, from traumatic beginnings to marriage, motherhood and eventually experiencing sexual freedom after divorce in her thirties, Feeling Myself is a story of learning to be your true self in a society that doesn't prioritise your pleasure. It is a book for every woman to feel empowered by and to learn the tools to experience their own emancipation too.

Genres: Feminism, Sexuality, Nonfiction

272 pages, Hardcover

Published June 9, 2022

Reviews

[Faye Elizabeth]

I am often worried that books of this genre will leave me feeling deflated as they all have very similar themes/preach the same thing and I'm often left feeling like I haven't learnt anything about myself/feminism/society. However, this books offers a frank opinion on sex and shame in all its forms/origins. I would highly recommend it to everyone and anyone. I think it's a brilliant way to start the conversation with yourself about sexual shame and can be a platform to have those conversations with others.

This book has made me laugh due to Nats wit and made me well up from recognising similar feelings & feeling like I'm being told it's okay. I think due to my interest in feminism, sex positivity and consent I have carried a lot of guilt around my shame. This book has really helped me to start to process this and I am profoundly grateful.

Reading this openly in public spaces also felt like a massive 🖕🖕🖕 to the patriarchy. I deeply hope that it's both made misogynistic men uncomfortable and empowered a woman to pick it up. Posting about reading it to my stories also felt like a step away from the shame I carry with sex!

In summary, a beautifully candid book that covers a range of vital subjects. After each chapter there's a brilliant "What I've learned about..." summary which helps cement the themes of the book. If you know me and read this then let's have a shame free conversation about how you found it.

[Bethan Evans]

“I’m making a conscious; concerted effort to forgive myself for breathing in the toxic fumes of patriarchy.” Gah, iconic.

[Lani ⚔⚔ the Destroyer ⚔⚔]

This was an easy read for me, not because the content wasn’t raw and powerful, it was definitely that, but so much of it was completely relatable. Natalie’s heartfelt vulnerability is quite inspiring; and her engaging and honest dialogue inspired reflection on my own experiences with a new lens, and encouraged me to shed some the shame attached to them.

Thank you, Natalie, for sharing your heart with the world in this book and inspiring others to be true to themselves.

[Caroline]

I absolutely loved this book. Natalie was incredibly honest and brave for writing a book that was so personal. What also makes it great is that she gives advice on how to overcome similar issues. I can't wait to see what her other ventures are.

[Hannah]

Stopped reading at 65%

Very shallow, beginner feminism. Of course, entry level literature is important, it just wasn’t what I was expecting. All the ideas in this book I had in my early twenties already. I find the sub-title and general marketing of this book to be misleading. It speaks to sexual enlightenment and freedom which I would put at a stage far more advanced than beginner feminism. If you want the TLDR; The subtitles’ question of “how I shed my sexual shame” was essentially answered with: discovering masturbation, embracing body positivity, and realising the patriarchy. To me this was an unbelievably disappointing answer. Maybe this would be enlightening to someone just entering the feminist space, but then it should be marketed that way. For me this was a waste of time.

It references Come As You Are by Emily Nagowski several times. In fact it regurgitates many of the ideas in that book but with NONE of the depth. I would skip this all together and go straight to read Nagowski.

[Meghan Hope]

This is single-handedly the best self help book I’ve ever read. I felt at points I heard myself in this book - which was hard but I feel so revitalised already. I have already actioned some steps, inspired by this book and I’m so thankful to have read this at 26 years old. Truly an eye opener which has made me very excited for years to come.

[Fabulous Book Fiend]

I loved this audiobook and devoured it in one big gulp! Full review to come...

[Marnie]

i finished this in one day

[Natasha Turner]

Insightful and empowering

[Kaweir]

Audiokniha - rozhodně dobrá volba

[Jae Leeds]

A touching and personal book on womanhood and self love in a sexual context. Books like this are paving the way for female expression and self love, and I loved every moment of it.

[LeaVixx]

Nothing too groundbreaking, but I did really enjoy the fact that the book was very personal and vulnerable, rather than just another self-help book full of tips on how to love yourself more.