Mennonite Valley Girl: A Wayward Coming of Age

by Carla Funk

A funny and whip-smart memoir about a feisty young woman’s quest for independence in an isolated Mennonite community.

Carla Funk is a teenager with her hands on the church piano keys and her feet edging ever closer to the flames. Coming of age in a remote and forested valley—a place rich in Mennonites, loggers, and dutiful wives who submit to their husbands—she knows her destiny is to marry, have babies, and join the church ladies’ sewing circle. But she feels an increasing urge to push the limits of her religion and the small town that cannot contain her desires for much longer.

Teenage (Mennonite) angst at its finest: Carla questions the patriarchal norms of Mennonite society and yearns to break free. She’ll start by lighting her driveway on fire ….

• A family story: the perfect gift for mothers, daughters, sisters, and fathers and sons.

• Pitch-perfect 1980s nostalgia: remember Jordache jeans?

• For readers of Miriam Toews: heart wrenching and humorous descriptions of Mennonite life.

At once a coming-of-age story, a contemplation on meaning, morality, and destiny, and a hilarious time capsule of 1980s adolescence, Mennonite Valley Girl offers the best kind of escapist reading for anyone who loves small towns, or who was lucky enough to grow up in one.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography, Religion, Family, Canada, Coming Of Age

280 pages, Hardcover

Published September 14, 2021

About the author

Born and raised in Vanderhoof, B.C., one of the earliest Mennonite settlements in the province, Carla Funk now lives and teaches writing in Victoria, where she served as the city’s inaugural poet laureate from 2006-2008. Her previous books of poetry include The Sewing Room and Apologetic.

Reviews

[Jill Crosby · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m not really sure where to go with this book—-the scenes were familiar to me, the small town mindset of family, friends, community; the awkward isolation of being a chum teenager in shark-infested social waters; of being homemade in a world where everyone else seemed to exist of the store-bought. The prose is gorgeous and clear, each page a swath of metaphor joined together to make the story.

BUT—The author’s recollection of the things past came with very little warmth or light. I found reading about her family relationships made me feel voyeuristic and awkward and not at all inclined to try to understand her, or to find some reason for her antipathy that could fall
Under something other than the “just because she’s a teenager” banner. Truthfully, her rebellion at her “rigid Mennonite upbringing” did not ring particularly true, as she was allowed to watch TV, drive, wear modern styles, wear makeup & perfume, listen to and own pop music (and a Walkman!)—-things other secular non-Mennonite girls were doing in the millions. Being Mennonite had nothing to do with her “escape,” as much as “living in a small, isolated, Canadian provincial town” did. Spoiled. Privileged. Disdainful. I WANTED to like her and to find common ground with her and her experiences, but there was nothing in her tone to bring me over to her side, to view her adolescence as a recollection of my own.

[Colleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mennonite Valley Girl is a perfectly acceptable coming of age story. Author Carla Funk tells us about her teenage years growing up in the small town of Vanderhoof, B.C., where most of the population is either Mennonite or belongs to some other fundamentalist religious group. As the blurb says, Funk has to struggle with Mennonite expectations that she is going to become a wife and mother and live her life in a patriarchal society; she definitely doesn’t want to conform, and rebels against these norms. This would have made for a really interesting read, but my problem was that her own Mennonite family was one that is more “modern”: the men smoke and drink, the family watches TV, the women can wear pants and tear around the countryside on their ATVs. Obviously they still held basic Mennonite beliefs and a patriarchal view of life but, quite honestly, I think my own secular upbringing was more strict than Funks’ Mennonite upbringing!

It was an interesting coming of age story, but just not as much of a struggle for Funk as I’d expected. Just... an average teenage tale.

[Vanessa Funk · Rating 3 out of 5]

Coming from a Mennonite background, I enjoyed the Mennonite cultural details as it reminded me of things from my own childhood (e.g., rollkuchen and salted watermelon). I just found she was quite detailed in her descriptions which I often skimmed over and nothing particularly monumental happened. She would start talking about something more interesting (like how she seemed to think she was adopted) but then wouldn't delve more into it. And I wanted some kind of epilogue to find out what she ended up doing after high school to get out of the small town life. If you're Mennonite and want a bit of a nostalgia kick, then I think this book is for you.

[Milana M (acouplereads) · Rating 3 out of 5]

In this funny memoir by a young woman’s quest for independence in an isolated Mennonite community. Carla Funk toes the line between following her parents footsteps and forging her own path. Coming of age in a forested remote valley, Funk knows she is to marry, have babies and join the church ladies sewing circle. But the urge for more, for different, pushes her elsewhere.

I’ve been on a memoir kick this year it seems! Give me all the stories and experiences. I love reading about others experiences different from mine. At first it was celebrity memoirs but now I’m branching. Mennonite Valley Girl was a coming of age story of a different kind. Reading about an isolated community in a small town in BC was not only different in setting but in society, religion, culture, etc.

The pop culture references and adolescent experiences brought back my own coming of age memories. Funk made me chuckle and although we come from different backgrounds she was quite relatable. I found there wasn’t anything that quite made me latch onto the book and did crave for something a bit more intense. That just may be a product of our need for shock value in books these days though, I blame social media.

If you’re looking for a wholesome account of a woman’s upbringing and her path to break free from what is expected of her, you’ll find this is the perfect read. Thank you @greystonebooks for sending a finished copy my way, 3✨.

[Enid Wray]

This is just not capturing my attention. I guess I’m not the reader for this title… although I adore Miriam Toews novels about Mennonite life...
I will admit that I get bothered about these kinds of memoirs... the way they attest to childhood memories as if they are being remembered with crystal clarity in the here and now…. especially where/when referring to past action in the present tense. You might be remembering/writing about the general sense of things, the typical experience - as informed by your own memory and that of others - but you (surely) are not remembering detailed dialogue from when you were (insert young age here) years old.

Within the first few chapters here in this case, the ‘action’ - even within the space of an individual paragraph - shifts from an event as if it’s happening right now, to a general musing about an event (same or different) and then to an ‘adult’ reflection on that event.

I have so much on my TBR pile that I, sadly, am choosing to DNF this one.

Thanks to the publisher and Edelweiss for granting me access to an early digital review copy.

DNF

[Dara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting memoir of a teen/young adult growing up in the 80’s while on the fringe of her Mennonite community. She grew up in a small town trying to navigate a more modern world with a family and religion still ingrained with “the old country”. She’s full of conflict, questions, hormones and contradictions. I loved the 80’s references! So much of that time is completely lost now, as it didn’t hold up to the progress of today. It makes me nostalgic to remember some of the details. Phone party-lines, stickers books, shellac hairspray do’s, Teen Beat, the Bill Cosby we thought we knew, Benetton, and the music!

[Marilyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good audiobook listen. Lots of funny stories and memories that reminded me of my own childhood.

[Donna Hartmann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun story with so many relatable tidbits. Especially having grown up in Prince George.

[Janilyn Kocher · Rating 3 out of 5]

I totally related to Carla. Not being Mennonite, but wanting To escape the small town she grew up. I surmise we are the same age because she made music, movie, and TV references that I am very familiar with. Her first school dance experience was hilarious and It brought back flashbacks of similar experiences. I hope,she has another memoir to college years and beyond. Thanks to Greystone Books and Edelweiss for the early read.

[Gail Amendt · Rating 4 out of 5]

I could really relate to this memoir of the author's teen years in Vanderhoof, BC, not because of the Mennonite aspect with which I also have some experience having lived in a predominantly Mennonite community in my youth, but simply because she writes about being a teenage girl in a small town in the 80's. You don't have to come from a conservative religious background to feel the angst she felt, but it probably added to it. The many pop culture references carried me right back to my own small town teen years, as did her descriptions of the boredom, the feelings of missing out, the yearning for something beyond the confines of small town life. Her awkward encounters with the opposite sex were also uncomfortably familiar, and I think we might have been at the same small town high school dances. I wish she had written a bit more, so we could see if the outside world met with her expectations once she finally escaped Vanderhoof. I look forward to reading more of her writing.

[Melany · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book did not engage me at all. As another reviewer stated, it is written as a memoir but for some reason it has dialogue that could not possibly be remembered verbatim, yet it’s presented as such. Also nothing really interesting happens, sort of standard “I went to camp” “I started my period” things. I think this book would be well received by the author’s family, but it doesn’t have anything new to appeal to an average reader. And certainly not this Mennonite.

[Janeen · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice coming-of-age story in a small town. It brought up the expected tensions and yearnings of living in a small towns. The stories brought up moments of nolstalgic feelings for my own youthful days, the experience of dreaming and wanting so much more. A nice comfortable read that lacked any drama or outrageous rebellion.

[Paul Sutter]

The author of the memoir EVERY LITTLE SCRAP AND WONDER, Carla Funk, returns with another most entertaining book. It is heralded as a coming of age story about growing up in Vanderhoof in British Columbia. It is life in a small town where Mennonite life was the way and for a young girl, growing up in such a community had much different perils and pitfalls than in a large area.
But for Carla Funk, she managed to create her own memories through some awkward teen experiences. She talks of her parents and her father who smoked and drank, and seemed to enjoy good times with his buddies in the logging business. Of course the women had a different set of rules and standards, which pretty well meant they were subservient and had to view and obey life much differently. She talks of her grandfather who seemed to be a very serious man who lived in his own world. He was rather tight with his money, and even seemed to want to limit the toilet paper one used, almost getting into origami to make the thin sheet last longer and more absorbent. Carla reflects on many other coming of age aspects of life including choosing her first bra. It was almost traumatic, and the way she writes the experience, makes it most amusing and life-changing in an interesting way.
There is also going to her first big dance, recalling the sights and sounds that definitely made an impression on her. “I had never been inside a room so loud, a room whose walls vibrated with the noise from the DJ’s speaker towers and made my ribcage buzz.” She watched certain boys, and seemed to look awkwardly at some of the boys, almost wondering which girl might be interested in them.
Carla talks candidly of the ritual of growing up, shedding her hesitations and awkwardness. She looks back at summer camp and the surprising image of one of the girls, who decided to come wearing tight jeans and red spike heels.
The book is a nostalgic tour of life in the 80’s, with crushes on television stars like Kirk Cameron and feelings for the opposite sex. It’s a trip down memory lane to gentler times, when people’s insecurities made them hesitant to interact, but desperate to fight in with the crowd.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Carla Funk has a flair for describing her life memories and characters. In this memoir, anyone who grew up in the 1970's and 80's will recognize her descriptions of teenage trends. Her life growing up in a small BC town paralleled my own, but her family's background in the Mennonite faith is unique. Funk's memories of a school dance "formal" are particularly vivid, and the reader can imagine her peers primping and preening before going to such a prestigious social event in the small town of Vanderhoof. A great read to go back in time...

[LuAnn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. If you were raised in a conservative Christian home, you will appreciate how a young woman tries to navigate the expectations of her family and church community while at the same time wants to find a bigger world, ask big questions, and discover the deep truths of life on her own terms. I'm also drawn to this story because I lived not far from Vanderhoof, BC so I could easily imagine the setting.

[Ryan Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

To be memorable, memoirs must either be vulnerable, or written with sparkling prose, or offering new insights on the common. Carla Funk delivers all three. I confess to a bias, being Mennonite (though not part of an oppressive sect like the one Funk describes) and having lived a couple of years in the Pacific Northwest relatively near her community. Still, I don’t think religious commonality is needed to connect with Funk’s coming-of-age stories or her talent in turning a phrase.

[Samuel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very engaging coming-of-age memoir of the author's teenage years in Vanderhoof, B.C. It's especially interesting because she comes from a conservative Mennonite background. Her mother appears to have been Swiss Mennonite background and her father Kanadier Mennonite (1870s migration). The church she attended was originally Evangelical Mennonite Conference but now is non-denominational.

[Richard Janzen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite impressed with this memoir. Funk's descriptive writing was interesting and emotive, and her description of growing up in the Mennonite tradition felt authentic. The struggles for a teen growing up between Mennonite church and family, and public high school, and all the craziness of a teenage mind.... felt like she did a great job overall.

[Alicia · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was a very short memoir but it was not stellar because the writing was "this story, then this story, then this story" on and on until you got to the end of the book without a deeper sense of reflection or purpose for the story other than because it does fill a need to have more voices from this way of life.

However, this isn't the one to go with.

[Grace · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have no idea what it is about Gen X memoirs, but this, like so many other Canadian Gen X authors, has the feel of a road trip. Half-asleep, half-bored, and definitely overheated, one stares out the window as the scenery passes by in a blur. As much as I may have fond memories of road trips as a child, this is the not the feeling I am looking for while reading a book.

[Melanie Springer Mock · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a fellow Mennonite Gen-Xer who grew up in a small predominantly Mennonite town, there was so much of Funk's story I resonated with, both in terms of cultural allusions, but also in terms of the expectations teenager girls in small, cloistered communities face. Funk is also a terrific writer, and so much of her description--setting and character--captured my imagination.

[Amy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disturbing. Stories of abuse (of people and animals) are not cute. Sorry I don’t get the joke of feeding babies hot peppers and laughing when they grabbed their tongue choking or using a wire brush filled with flammable chemical on a dog or refusing to let your wife buy new underwear and when you do making her find out the exact amount and not a penny more.

[Katherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really it's a 3.5 rating. I liked the author's descriptions but I found the organization and narrative structure to be lacking. Every vignette opens, then goes into related things, then semi-circles back to the original story. I would sort of lose the thread. In many ways, there was a frustrating lack of resolution.

[cat]

I guess I should have known from the title, but I was definitely willing to give it a try because it really could have gone either way. I stuck with it for the first 100 pages or so and now am putting it on my did-not-finish shelf and moving right along.

[Suzanne Pederson · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant reflection of growing up in a small rural community and the impacts of family, faith and community. The desire to escape to a new place and a bigger life yet the constant pull of generations of doing things this way.

[Erica Knightstep · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a sweet, sweet memoir! Anyone who's grown up in a small town, dreaming of bigger or more or simply something different will love this book! (And, if you love '80s music, the references the author makes will feel like home!)

[Karen Stiller · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. I laughed and smiled my way through it as I was brought back to my own teen years through reading about Carla's experiences. A poignant, beautiful collection brought to us by the hands of a master writer.

[Leonard · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book about a Mennonite girl growing up in British Columbia is one of the finest memoirs I've read. It's witty, funny, and a rich source of memories, history, and beliefs, all told in a lighthearted manner and seamlessly stitched into her story. Wonderful reading.

[Deidre James · Rating 2 out of 5]

Having grown up in a Mennonite community, the eerie familiarity definitely kept my attention, but to be honest, I didn’t think the book itself was very good. Carla’s stories are all over the place and a bit long winded. I was also hoping for more of a takeaway or stronger conclusion.

[Joy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars in solidarity. It was really hard for me to finish this. I wonder if it’s more appealing to people with no Mennonite in their background? In my case, I felt like I was reminiscing along with her, but it really didn’t make me feel nostalgic.