Me, Then

by Mia Kim

"This suspenseful and moving work sparkles with figurative language... an affecting and well-crafted historical tale."—Kirkus

From author Mia Kim comes a stunning, inspiring debut novel about a young Korean girl's struggle to reunite with her mother.

Suyoung, burdened with the stigma and shame of being born out of wedlock in 1960's Korea, is hidden with her aunt while her mother works and lives on an American army base on the outskirts of Seoul.

The rough years at her aunt's turn even darker when her mother marries a US soldier and flies to America, promising to send for her in a few months. Suyoung is eight years old.

Months turn into years. When her aunt falls deeper and deeper into poverty, the family turns on her with cruelty. Suyoung spirals down.

How will she find the courage and resources to fight for her humanity and survival?

Her defiant struggle will hold the reader in suspense until the final page.



***
About the Author

MIA KIM grew up in Seoul, Korea. She has a master's degree from the Eastman School of Music. As an accomplished artist, Kim has had several sold-out exhibitions of her paintings in New York. "Me, Then" is her debut novel. Kim lives in Connecticut.

***
Praise for the Book

"ME, THEN is an amazing accomplishment. Although set in Korea in the 1960's, the story is at once universal and timeless. It is like something from Charles Dickens in the best possible sense—an epic chronicle of a child's suffering and passage through a crazy but thoroughly human mess of a family. My hat is off to Mia Kim for creating a saga that is wholly authentic and real and that conveys emotions and story power with eloquent simplicity. It's a gift of empathy and courage to anyone who reads it."—Steven Pressfield, NY Times bestselling author of "The Legend of Bagger Vance"

“Deftly paced and beautifully written, “Me, Then” is an emotionally gripping cultural immersion. Su-young, the brave and compelling young Korean protagonist, seems reminiscent of characters from Dickens or the Brontës, facing the same relentless childhood adversity: poverty, abandonment, isolation. A captivating story that lingers far beyond the final pages.”
—Brunonia Barry, NY Times bestselling author of “The Lace Reader”

“Written in powerful, gripping, lyrical prose, “Me, Then” is an immersive, heart-wrenching dive into a young girl's quest for a better life. An utterly unforgettable read, Su-young's story resonates long after the final page.”
—Alyson Noël, NY Times bestselling author of “The Immortals”

Genres: Fiction

310 pages, Hardcover

First published July 1, 2021

About the author

MIA KIM grew up in Seoul, Korea. She has a Masters degree from Eastman School of Music. As an accomplished artist, Kim has had several sold out exhibitions of her paintings in New York. ME, THEN is her debut novel. Kim lives in Connecticut, USA.

Reviews

[Pamela Bell · Rating 5 out of 5]

The "Me" in this novel is a child at the mercy of hard circumstances and a culture in 1960s South Korea that stigmatizes her illegitimate birth. "Then" takes her from age 5 to 15, years in which her mother struggles to build a life they can share but is forced to leave her in the care of an aunt, seeing her on weekends in the best times and not for years in the worst. We see the mother, her love and struggles, only through her daughter's eyes. We know the years of poverty and abuse through Su-Young's eyes. Immersion in the first-person gives this story its compelling power. We experience Su-Young's longing for her mother, her unaddressed questions and needs, her vulnerability to being used and abused by her aunt and family without the buffer of an objective narrator. Places, events, and people in her life are keenly observed and richly described, a facility that attests to her intelligence and sensitivity but also to the hyper-aware street-smarts she's been forced to develop for self-protection. With her I cherished each small hope, kind friend and solace found in music and could barely put this book down for wanting to see her through to a better, safer life.

[Carol Olson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This difficult yet miraculous book pulled me in to 5 year old Su-young’s story immediately. It is a gripping, beautifully written story told from her perspective as she grows from age 5-15 in post war Korea. We only see her mother’s agonizing choices through Su-young’s eyes, as Mom tries to provide for this loved illegitimate daughter as best she can. Eventually Mom goes to the United States with her new husband, leaving Su-young behind in the care of her aunt. Her life is one of poverty and hardship, cruelty and betrayal, but laced through with moments of beauty and hope. The people in her life are complex and fully realized in Mia Kim’s carefully chosen words. Sue-young, as the author Mia Kim herself, finds the ability to survive through music and art, until she finally finds herself on the way to rejoin her mother. I could not put this book down!

[kristiana · Rating 2 out of 5]

This story was deeply upsetting, harrowing and sad. It was uncomfortable to read. It did not shy away from gross descriptions. It only kept getting more intense in its pain and suffering. What it did best was describe poverty, not only in its physical dirt and muck and grime, but especially in what it does to people and how it corrupts them.
As for how this book is written, the story could have been built upon more, as it time-lapsed quite a bit. The prose itself also wasn't very good - the sentence structure was jagged and often times lacked editing.

[Paula Garb · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's hard to put down Mia Kim's novel until the end. The beautiful prose helps you see, smell and hear the protagonist's living conditions as they consistently worsen. You'll feel the neglected child's confusion and disappointment as she briefly experiences the luxurious places where she isn’t allowed to stay, her fears as she faces life and death dilemmas presented by the lies from the adults she depends on completely. You'll learn about the cruelty and chaos of the communist takeover of North Korea and how that so profoundly impacted one child, one family, and thus the entire society. I loved Kim's explanations of Korean customs and their regional distinctions that are gently integrated in the story, and how music and the arts, universally healing in all cultures, kept this tortured child afloat.

[Erika Davis]

Such an amazing novel, so descriptive, so visual, I couldn't put it down. I immediately missed it on completion at 5am in the morning!

[Craig Tregillus · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you think any of the accolades in online reviews of Mia Kim’s debut novel Me, Then are excessive, you’ll quickly find they are not. It takes no little skill to pull readers into a novel, lead them to care about the characters they meet, and bring the world they inhabit to life – particularly when that world is one of desperate poverty, and its accompanying selfishness, pettiness and deceit around which women have been forced to navigate throughout herstory.

This is a novel that both transcends place and time and immerses the reader in an unforgettable world within post-war Korea. We watch as the female protagonist develops from a 5- to a 15-year-old despite and because of her life’s harsh circumstances. As a student, she confesses at one point that she had to learn to “filter out [the] detailed and lengthy descriptions” in the “dense texts” of world-famous authors. That is precisely the secret of the virtuosity of Kim’s writing – her spare yet intensely vivid descriptions that bring the world of this novel to life and propel us along right up until the end, leaving us wanting more.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVE this unforgettable story. Told through the eyes of a young girl in postwar 1960s Korea, it transports the reader to a world both beautiful and brutal, and powerfully unfolds a tale of heartrending resilience and perseverance. Su-young is only 5 years old when the story starts but already wise beyond her years, because her precarious existence—being shuttled from caretaker to caretaker and being a fatherless child in a traditional and unforgiving society—demands it. Her mother does her best to take care of her daughter, but the quest for a better life for them lands the young protagonist in the home of her aunt. Su-young faces loneliness, poverty, and abuse, yet the telling retains a child’s innocence that also brings moments of sweetness, playfulness, curiosity, and joy. It’s a dramatic journey told with evocative prose (“her visits…sewed me, stitch by stitch, into the hem of her dress, reassuring me that I belonged to her”), intriguing narrative turns, historical and cultural context, and fascinating characters. That Aunt can be sympathetic despite her flaws and that Su-young feels some compassion for her is a triumph of storytelling. This story of incredible human spirit and love moved me to tears more than once.

[Katrina Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book so much, I could not put it down. I also could not stop thinking about the heroine of the story, the little girl, Su-Young, who endured so much but never lost her spirit, curiosity, humour or hope.

Su-Young's experiences are so unique, including descriptions of her family's escape from North Korea ("Grandpa, so used to wielding power, didn't react fast to the immediate dangers that were closing in... Aunt knew they'd come for them, and swiftly, if not for political reasons, then for sheer envy; men killed for much less."), but her feelings are so universal ("With my face flat against the window, I stared out of the bus. Whenever Mom tried to coax me closer to her, my body went rigid, unyielding. I wanted her to know I was angry... I wanted this bus ride to be over already, but also for it to go on forever as Mom was next to me no matter what."

Rather than give too much away, I just want to highly recommend this book. It was brilliantly paced, not a sentence wasted... beautifully written, transcendent, uplifting and empowering. Well done, Mia Kim. I think this could be a new Korean classic novel.

[Peter Bradley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Riveting from start to finish. Mia Kim is a master storyteller. Her book takes you to the edge of despair and leaves you clinging to the only thing left - hope. Su-young’s struggle to survive grinding poverty, abandonment, betrayal, and a gaslighting bit*h of an aunt will move you to tears of rage and joy. An emotional roller coaster leaving you shaken, yet wanting more.

[Elizabeth Indianos · Rating 5 out of 5]

ME, THEN is masterful. Author Mia Kim, tells the story brilliantly, like a singer who knows timing; a painter, who shows restraint, Kim does it effortlessly making us laugh, cry, and wait.
ME, THEN is economical with words, but the words, powerful like Hemmingway or Toni Morrison, often become poetry and beautifully dovetail to the very last word… on the very last page.
The experience feels visual, cinematic; a kind of magical realism, a merging of the film, Beasts of the Southern Wild, meets the classic Dicken’s, Oliver Twist.
We feel empathy for the child Su-Young, seemingly betrayed by everyone. Yet, Kim makes us love the characters, back to back with good and bad, revealing the irony and duality of existence, of truth.
Su-Young throws herself into a mosh pit of rebellious humanity and emerges from it magically unharmed, a virtual shapeshifter. She’s her own supernatural guide, a superhero put through tests, a female Odysseus succeeding at a series of trials that challenge and build her strength.
Ultimately, Su-Young descends into darkness, an underworld of sorts, to experience a wound that cannot be healed, yet she digs herself out, completes all her trials to achieve her ultimate goal of the journey -freedom and the promise of love… In the process she becomes her own personal Jesus and makes you a believer.
This magnificent story, a powerful and universal immigrant journey on both the personal and societal levels, is important to be told. Now more than ever, her victory becomes our own.

[Florin Deleanu · Rating 5 out of 5]

A heart-warming coming-of-age story of a Korean girl struggling for acceptance in a society which finds her existence upsetting. Her sin? Being born out of wedlock. All that Su-young, the main character, wants is to live with her mother, herself making every effort to give her daughter a loving home. What stands in their way is not only the social fabric but also (and mainly) Su-young’s Aunt who is entrusted with raising the young girl. We witness Su-young’s challenging journey towards freedom and self-discovery amidst increasing obstacles and suffering caused by her own Aunt, Uncle, and cousins. Author Mia Kim does a masterful job by telling the story with the right balance between lyrical description and dramatic tension. The narrative hooks the reader until the last page (and leaves him/her wondering what will happen to the Su-young in the next stages of her saga). Me, Then is a wonderful novel told through the eyes of an innocent child who discovers and struggles against the darkness of the world, mostly felt through the callousness of her family. I heartily recommend the book.

[Jim Gladstone · Rating 4 out of 5]

Me, Then is an exquisitely compelling read. From the first page, I felt seamlessly transported into the mind of a five year old girl living on the margins of society in post-war Seoul. The surroundings and characters were absolutely real to me, even sometimes threatening. What was most moving though was the degree to which I felt that I was being allowed to share the inner journey of a child surviving not only tenuous physical circumstances but deep emotional loss while also experiencing the wonder of new possibilities. I found it enormously rewarding to be immersed in a time and place so dramatically different from those in which I have lived while, at the same time, identifying with the common human search for love and connection. Me, Then is notable for its deftly crafted, utterly real story. It is, in my mind, extraordinary, for the depth of its portrayal of our shared human experience.

[Theresa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was not forewarned so I will do you the favor. Do not start this book before bed if you have anywhere to be the next morning. I innocently picked this book up shortly before my normal bedtime, intending to just read the first couple chapters. Next thing I know, it's 5:00 in the morning, my eyes are bugging out of my head and my body is screaming at me to get some sleep -- but my heart and mind are wrapped up in the young protagonist, Su-young. I did sleep a handful of hours but went right back to Su-young as soon as I woke up. It's been years since a book has grabbed me as this one has. The descriptions of 1960's Korea are unrelenting and immersive. The heartache and longing are constant. The snatches of joy, beauty, and laughter will sustain you. This book is a treasure. Absolutely one for the ages.

[Claire McGonagall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Me, Then is profoundly moving. I found myself cheering for Su-Young every step of the way, through every twist and moment of despair. When I finished the last page, I signed up for Goodreads in order to share this story with others - to echo what others have written here about the power of this book.

This book enables a deeper understanding of Korean customs and cultural nuances. And it provides a window into the aftermath of the Communist takeover of North Korea - and its profound impacts on one family and society at large. Yet this is also a poignant tale of overcoming poverty, heartbreak, and loneliness through the power of hope.

I highly recommend this book - you won't be disappointed.

[Jung Sun · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5⭐️s
Very engrossing, and it moved at a steady clip. The character development was well done, growing to care for some and loathe others. The daily details of life and culture are wonderfully rich and precise in that they do not give a sense of being fabricated. To know the minute, unnoticed details of the cultural attitudes down to the description of streets etc, so well I often wondered if this fiction story may be a telling of the author’s life (I don’t know her history, just what’s on the book jacket flap). I know the story needed to be wrapped up, concluded eventually, but the speed it was done at was somewhat like a whiplash. That’s my only complaint, otherwise, a well written book and I enjoyed it very much.

[Andrea L-S · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so captivating! I literally could not put it down. I read the whole book in just two days. I was so drawn in by the story of Su-young. It was beautiful, inspiring and heartbreaking all at the same time. I loved the rich imagery and descriptions of Korean culture. The book was so descriptive that I could almost smell and taste things I was reading about. This book should be read by everyone who can possibly get their hands on it, and hopefully we'll get to read more works by Mia Kim in the near future.

[Emily Koerner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to receive this book as a gift, and am so thankful I did! The narrative of 5 year old Suyoung pulls you in from page 1. Although the story of a hard upbringing is not unique, the way Mia Kim adds details about Korea in the 1960s and the nuances of Korean culture she adds makes this a page turner. I was invested in the familial characters, and left questioning what I might do in the same circumstances. This is a must read for those who enjoy coming of age books that portray the hard aspects of life as well as the glimmers of hope we see.

[Laura S Harrington · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an incredibly emotional journey of a child surviving troubling times in post war Korea. Left behind by a mother who went the USA to pave a way for a better life, Su-young endured abuse and manipulation by cruel relatives. She hung on to hope that her mother would send for her and sometime just hung by her fingernails when hope was fading. This is such a well told, vivid and harrowing tale that I was hooked until the last word. I want a sequel, now please…

[Eric · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just finished reading Mia Kim’s book, Me, Then. She has an amazing story and is a brilliant writer. Heartbreaking. Haunting. Hopeful. The transformation of her life and the parallel transformation of Seoul during the 1960's is wonderfully captured in her expressive and readable writing. Her description of the meaning of “Han” in Korean as “the beauty of sorrow” nicely encapsulates the soul of the book.

[Lani · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gripping story told through the eyes of a young girl growing up to her teenage years. Life get messy and for this young girl, it gets really messy! The struggles and injustices she encounters would have broken many. This courageous fighter holds on to hope, just long enough, to make it!

The story is so beautifully crafted you will not want to put the book down.

[Karina Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this book! A brilliant, captivating read. I was gripped from the very first to the very last sentence.
A brilliantly written, captivating story taking the reader on the harrowing journey of Su-young's fight for survival. I felt every single emotion as if I was right there, with her the whole way!
Could not put this down!

[Laura M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Me, Then is an inspiring story of a young girl's perseverance in overcoming hardships in 1960s South Korea. I read the book very quickly as I was eager to follow Su-young through her journey. And, when I finished the book, I longed to know more about what happened next in this young character's life.

[Josefina · Rating 5 out of 5]

WoW! Such an amazing book. Kim is very talented and has such a way with words to express feeling and details. I was so upset each time I was interrupted and had to put the book down. So I stayed up till 2am just so that I could finish in quiet. I hope that we will have a second book to see how Su-young settles in with her life and home.

[Karen Chance · Rating 5 out of 5]

A rollercoaster of a ride, I read this book in two days. We follow the protagonist, Su-young, in her early days in Seoul, shortly after the Korean War. You can feel, see, smell, and touch all that she experiences in her daily life. Her life is full of heartache but she has grit and resilience. I highly recommend this book.

[Paul Mckee · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an incredible story! I couldn’t put it down, it kept me turning the page until the very end. Not only was I moved by this young girl's plight, but was incredibly fascinated by the detailed delivery into Korean culture. Highly recommended, you will not be disappointed.

[Norita · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed reading this book, could not put it down. An emotional roller coaster. A gripping story of a young child abused, neglected and against all odds overcoming all. Beautifully written. Looking forward to her next book.

[Dennis Swanson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Me Then is the intriguing story of a young girl in Seoul, South Korea, who overcomes family deceit and ultimately finds her way to America where her mother has relocated. It’s a compelling story of survival and well worth reading. I can’t wait for the sequel!
Dennis Swanson

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mia Kim’s Me, Then is a vivid narrative of resilience, longing and daughterly love. I was fully immersed within the story from the beginning and was gripped by its pace, imagery and characters. I highly recommend this moving read.

[Kristine Dove · Rating 5 out of 5]

An very moving story that left me reflecting on the difficult decisions people are sometimes forced to make for themselves and their children in order to survive. I would love to read a sequel.

[Margaret Pascoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a Great Read, This book had me captivated from the very beginning , to the end, well written with a great storyline and told with such emotion and feeling.