Reclaiming

by Yewande Biala

I am more than enough, and I am perfect with all my imperfections.

In 2021, Yewande Biala wrote a searing viral essay on the debilitating effects of having your name constantly mispronounced or changed.

From the incredible response to the essay, it was clear that there are still so many conversations to be had around the way that we as a society respond to each other, and the direct effect it is having on our sense of self. Reclaiming consists of interlinked essays covering a wide breadth of topics from struggling with your body image and mental health to navigating social media and dating apps without damaging your self-esteem.

Each essay covers a different topic, affirming that maintaining your sense of self in a world that is not supportive of you is difficult, but not impossible. Nuanced, distinctly sharp, and full of wit, Reclaiming holds a mirror up to us all, and encourages us to like what we see.

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays

224 pages, Hardcover

Published May 12, 2022

About the author

Yewande Biala is an Operations Specialist in the biopharmaceutical industry who rose to fame after appearing on Love Island in 2019. In January 2021, she led a viral conversation about racial renaming and wrote about her experience in the Independent, for which she received acclaim and an outpouring of support.

Yewande has since written for the paper about colourism and is fast becoming an authoritative commentator on our most pressing issues.

Reviews

[Kevin (Irish Reader) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

[Nicola Bardon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I assumed this would be an autobiography but it was actually a series of essays relating back to her life and experience.
From chapters on racism and colourism, to the problems with dating and friendship, there is an inside look at influencer life, life as a Nigerian-Irish person, life as a Black woman, and there is something in it for us all to learn from.
And in it, Yewande also looks at her own faults and flaws and remarks on what she needs to learn from.
Don't expect a fluffy piece just because she was on Love Island, she wants people to walk away having learned something, and with a new viewpoint.

[Jungian.Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this whole book in one day and you might ask why considering it is a non-fiction book, the only answer I have is that it was captivating and it felt like finally someone put all my thoughts on paper. Yewande starts this book (which is a collection of essays) by explaining the power of name, more specifically how that power can be used to undermine, dehumanise, invalidate and even in some cases subjugate people. She discuss the powerlessness that can come with either purposefully or even without malice incorrectly pronouncing or calling someone their dead name. She highlights how this is rooted in supremacy (which is most times white supremacy) and bigotry.

She goes on to discuss Colourism by exploring the role that it plays in the segregation of Black people and mostly women in society using the music industry as an example. "My view is that when beauty is seen as an indispensable marketing tool alongside talent, beauty standards that are influenced by white supremacy and the approval of the male gaze, it gives heterosexual men too much power to define who or what will sell records and limits the mobility of large groups of women in the music industry" . I personally agree, while it might be controversial, there is enough discourse on the evident colourism at play in the music industry, this is nothing new.

Other areas of focus in some of the essays include Body image and how that have continued to be controlled not just by social media but also by the continued commodification of Black features but dehumanisation of Black people; Mental health - the pressure and responsibility placed on the Black first born children, the trauma associated with the 'Strong Black Woman' stereotype and the importance of breaking away from those damaging stereotypes; Friendships, dating, fetishization, love and social media.

I think that my favourite essay is the one on religion or more accurately the 'performance of religion'. In the essay titled 'Heaven Help Me' , she states "...religion now serves as a socially constructed term used to place people in boxes, keep them bound and excuse them from immoral acts, a tool sometimes used by fundamentalist and narcissists", which just re-opened by eyes to the way people in the Black community (more specifically the African/Nigerian community) see or re-subjugate themselves at the hands of religion. For example, Christianity was used as a tool for the justification of slavery and till today, it seems to still have the community in a chokehold. Yewande calls for the individualistic deconstruction of what religion means to each person and that is something that I personally have been doing and it has made my life less stressful and happier. Once you begin to deconstruct your faith, your eyes will be open to the inadequacies, toxicity and captivity of what I call 'community religion'.

I honestly could go on and on if you let me but I think Yewande did such an amazing job with this essay. She is self-aware and reflective and understands that healing isn't linear and that is evident throughout this book. I do think that this book needed a bit more editing (currently working on my thesis and my supervisors are getting to me) or maybe I am being overly critical. Anyways I enjoyed this book and I cannot wait to see what she writes next.

Thanks to Coronet for making a copy of this book available to me

[Sonia · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's a moment in this book when Biala says something like, you're probably reading this book because you already support me or found me on social media... erm... Actually I didn't know anything about the author, that she was a social influencer and that has been on Love Island. I have never seen Love Island. Hopefully she will be heartened to know that I came across this book as my local librarian had put it on display and the title caught my eye.

The opening chapters are really strong, Biala writes about racial renaming, colourism and ideas about beauty. She is so open and honest about her experience and this is an engaging read. She also covers the perils of dating, the hyper-sexualisation of Black women and women in STEM (she does have two science degrees), and talks about being discouraged from continuing with science even though she was achieving academically.

I really appreciated this book, it probably deserves more than 3 stars but I did get a bit lost in the middle with the bit about the metaverse...

[Briney (studying) · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5

Loved this. YB's got some really insightful commentary on the self, situating yourself in your (emotional) environment, and honoring your truth. Felt like I was highlighting every other sentence like 'YES, SIS TELL ME MORE'. I found a lot of her thoughts very validating and as for the rest (that I didn't personally relate to), I generally agreed with or at the very least appreciated her candor.

[Crystal · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was okay until the weirdly positive essay on crypto. What was that all about?

[cheyanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

i saw this book in the recommendation section in my library so i brought it home with me and i’m glad i did. i wasn’t quite sure what to expect from a former love island contestant or from a series of short essays but i loved this. felt myself relating to so many parts of this book from my career choice, love life and just general life in ireland as a woman of colour

[abir · Rating 3 out of 5]

hate to be a "this would be better if.." person but i really loved the memoir sides of this more than the essays, so i do wish it leaned more into that. i think yewande is a much better writer when talking about her life as opposed to being an essayist, as the latter in this book comes across as a "research turned to paragraphs" whereas the parts where she recants her actual experience felt very personal and kept my attention throughout.

i did enjoy this, and it is very well researched, but i think i would only pick up another book from yewande if it's a memoir, as i think her life growing up in ireland, being on love island, and being a black woman influencer sounds so interesting (as she showed in this book).

[Rebecca]

DNF at half way through
Started reading on 07/01
Really just wasn’t feeling this. I loved the concept and the first few stories but the writing is a little weak, which is expected as Yewande isn’t an author by nature. I’ve not read a book that is written by someone who isn’t a writer and, as someone who is passionate about writing creatively, think that maybe this type of book and the writing style just isn’t for me.

Yewande’s perspective and stories are important to tell and be heard, and I strongly empathise with her struggles with mental health and body image, but I think as someone who has recovered and has done a lot of research on these issues, this book may not be for me. I loved her discussions of race and colorism. As a white woman I felt it was important to read these, I really loved the discussion on the important of names. However, I just don’t feel compelled to continue. I read a few of the reviews for her book and these have confirmed that this probably isn’t the book for me.

[Gerson Mendes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book , been a fan of yewande since the love Island days , I found her lessons on love , friendships and the importance of one’s name so rich and valuable It was also a short book to get through .

I rate this one 4 stars ! It’s good read

[Jo The Black Bookworm · Rating 3 out of 5]

"If we aren't changing, then we aren't evolving and if we aren't evolving then we aren't living."

⚠️ Domestic Violence & Eating Disorders ⚠️

Yewande Biala, I remember feeling so upset when Yewande was left until last to be chosen on Love Island. In fact I was furious, why is black beauty something that is only acknowledged or deemed as being beautiful when its ctrl/alt/c+v onto white skin? But then my anger and dissatisfaction was redirected to Yewande, "Why did she put the target on her back, when she knows that they can't and won't see her worth." I was big mad! Society had led me to know our beauty wasn't mainstream. Yewande's voice was muted through the powers of tv editing, but now she is reclaiming her voice and reclaiming her power in her own words, in "Reclaiming".

One thing about Black women is that we will always find our voice and it's loud when we do. I don't mean in terms of decibles (maybe I do), but I mean in terms of the impact of our words. "Reclaiming" features written essays from Yewande, that walk us through her life experiences. From family life, dating, racism, life in & on social media, friendships and STEM.

Other than knowing the version of Yewande presented on Love Island, I knew little to nothing of Yewande, so I went into "Reclaiming" blind. It was interesting to read Yewandes perspectives on life, which have been shaped by her experiences. The section that I found most interesting was her experiences of friendships.

Friendships in the modern day can seem quite contrite, especially when we through in a sprinkling of social media & fame, who's real & who's not? I enjoyed reading about the fakery of friendships in the influencer realm.

Overall, it was an interesting read, but I do feel that the editing could have been stronger, as at times it felt as though more direction was needed to strengthen Yewandes points.

Have you read "Reclaiming"? What were your thoughts?

⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Indi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book in a word, beautiful. Yewande writes with such vulnerability and honesty. It had essays that i could relate to in ways and also essays that broke my heart.

I was drawn to this book after reading Yewande’s response to Lucie’s (from love island) inability/refusal to say her name. The “can’t i just give you a nickname”. Something I and way too many people are way to used to. Her initial response on instagram made me feel so seen that when i saw Yewande was realising a book i knew i had to buy.

The “say my name” essay in this book brought up so many memories that i had suppressed of knowing where my name was in registration at school, and feeling embarrassed when the teacher or substitute would struggle to say it causing the other students to laugh but they would then go on and teach the class about ‘pythagorus’ and ‘Kandinsky’ with no issues - and their names were way harder to say than mine. This essay make me cry (along with others, i’m an emotional gal) and i’m honestly so grateful this was written, it made me feel seen.

The book also delves into being thrusted into the public eye and all the antics that happen behind the camera such as micro aggressions, racism, sexism and fake friendships.
It also speaks about being a child to first generation immigrants, the expectations that are upon you, being Irish Nigerian and how a lack of representation for black women (and POC) in the world especially STEM can create a sense imposter syndrome and affect you mental health by causing you to doubt yourself.

I don’t tend to read non fiction, i tend to get bored if i do but this book was incredibly honest and it felt like a love letter, each essay would touch on her life experiences and end with what she’d learned as well as a note to the reader. This book felt like a safe space, kind of like when you have those really deep/difficult chats with your friends at a sleepover and I’m so so grateful for that.
Thank you Yewande.

[Violet · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

Picked this up at the library without knowing anything about the author, I was intrigued by her background of growing up Black in Ireland, I haven't seen or read many Black Irish voices and it's something I'm interested in. I didn't know that Yewande Biala, a science graduate, was a Love Island contestant in 2019, now an influencer who writes about race, and this short collection of essays was a nice read. The tone was quite earnest and conversational, which is something I don't particularly like but I found overall it reads well and she has done a lot of research and quotes many studies and academics, which was interesting. She ended up not writing about Ireland as much as I hoped, but the brief anecdotes about it were really interesting. Imagine the audacity, in a country full of Caoimhe, Siobhans and Aoife, to ask Yewande if she can go by her middle name Elizabeth...

[zoë · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some of this was great, but every time I thought she'd get a bit deeper into the meat of a subject, she'd tangent off with a Googled statistic about something similar but slightly irrelevant. Would have been much better if she'd focused on herself and her experiences instead of trying to marry this weird enmeshment of personal and slightly educational? She doesn't have the writing skills for that so came across a little SPHE book-ish. Maybe better suited to younger teens for whomst a lot of the content and concept may be fresher.

[Obaida · Rating 2 out of 5]

Honestly I expected more having read Yewandes Articles on Race identity in the UK. This book felt shallow in comparison and cringy at certain times as she tried to incoroporate slang terms and seem cool but it came off poorly in writing. It just was lacklustre and frankly painful to get through

[Barbara Reynolds · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent read 🌻

[lucy, she-her · Rating 2 out of 5]

i only have a few notes on this one.
- you can tell this book wasn’t written by a writer - it’s not bad, per-say, but you can definitely tell.
- none of the topics or points introduced are new; they are repetitions of pre-existing feminist ideas. however, this is kind of to be expected - i feel like this book was just supposed to explain feminism to those who might not understand it, rather than break new ground itself.
- i was pretty appalled that yewande still liked sara after that piers morgan thing. i mean, jesus christ