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The Rejected Mate
"his grey eyes had more darkness than any black eyes she had ever seen."
° ° °
She was shy
She was kind
She was quiet
She went unheeded
× × ×
He was merciless
He was cruel
He was captivating
He was the storm
× × ×
The first time he set his eyes on her he regarded her with a blank look, and the second time he uttered the words that would crush her world . "I Damien Blackwood, Future Alpha of Midnight Moon Pack Reject you Serenity Martins as my mate and future Luna" he says with a blank look.
Serenity Martins a curvy she-wolf , who had a crush on her future Alpha Damien Blackwood , when she finds out that he is her mate but loves someone else; her human best friend.
So what happens when Serenity goes back after 3 years for her best friend's wedding, her past is catching up to her.. something she has never told anyone, a bit of jealousy, rage, and a surprise in the form of a little bundle of joy.
Read and Find out in 'THE REJECTED MATE'.
° ° °
She was shy
She was kind
She was quiet
She went unheeded
× × ×
He was merciless
He was cruel
He was captivating
He was the storm
× × ×
The first time he set his eyes on her he regarded her with a blank look, and the second time he uttered the words that would crush her world . "I Damien Blackwood, Future Alpha of Midnight Moon Pack Reject you Serenity Martins as my mate and future Luna" he says with a blank look.
Serenity Martins a curvy she-wolf , who had a crush on her future Alpha Damien Blackwood , when she finds out that he is her mate but loves someone else; her human best friend.
So what happens when Serenity goes back after 3 years for her best friend's wedding, her past is catching up to her.. something she has never told anyone, a bit of jealousy, rage, and a surprise in the form of a little bundle of joy.
Read and Find out in 'THE REJECTED MATE'.
180 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 9, 2021
461 people are currently reading
322 people want to read
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September 15, 2021Sometimes I feel like a prospector panning through kindle unlimited in search of a solid rejected mate read. I tend to not rate these when it’s obvious that they are young or new writers, so I’m going to leave off the rating, and keep this short with some feedback.
Ok, when I read the blurb, I assumed that this would be play out like … Frenemy BFF steals her destined mate after they shared a steamy ONS. Heartbroken h leaves preggers, and returns years later with the alpha’s son in tow. H dumps the bitchy BFF, and after epic grovel-HEA. 😋 I was completely wrong.
Damian (future alpha) dated Emily (human BFF) growing up, when he realized Serenity was his fated mate he rejected her. She leaves before they get married. We open up with her returning after 3-4 years for her other BFF’s wedding.
There’re the typical editing, grammar, wordy indirect sentence issues you see with self-published books, but IMO the biggest issue is the flow of the plot. It reads like it was written in individual chapters, and then stacked together because many, many times the ending/beginning of new chapter repeats part of the conversation/happenings that we just finished. There’re a lot of POVs, and they switch midchapter without any label. Like we’re in Killian’s POV, but the next page it's from Serenity's. We also are constantly being veered off on a scenic route from the plot path. It just didn’t feel planned out. It was like when my boys try to make me breakfast, and sort of throw a bunch of shit together without following a recipe. .
SPOILERS For example,
We spend the majority of the book with the understanding that she has mom/dad and brother. These relationships are never really developed, but it felt so random when at ¾ she’s having a nightmare about her abusive bio dad. (who's now the baddie) Then she’s telling her packmates how she was adopted, but shouldn’t they know?
Or, Matthew. Is he her BF or not. She acts like he’s a friend, but labels him as her BF. There’s nothing intimate between the two that I know of. His a bad ass alpha in the beginning. Then he's randomly putting a wig on and dancing to Beyoncé in his room. Then grabbing the Elijah’s bottle to drink out off. ???
Or, like adding identities for their wolves midbook without any explanation. We are well over halfway when all the sudden Killian is in the mix. (D’s wolf) There’s no mention of anything like this then at the end Kira whimpers. (S’s wolf)
Bottom Line- I think it just needed thought out/planned out more so it flowed… like an outline rather than just writing as you go. Things were thrown in for shock value (I think) but never really discussed. Characters come in and out of scenes with no real development. The rejection reasons were all brushed over. The ending was rushed, and not didn’t make a ton of since.
Ok, when I read the blurb, I assumed that this would be play out like … Frenemy BFF steals her destined mate after they shared a steamy ONS. Heartbroken h leaves preggers, and returns years later with the alpha’s son in tow. H dumps the bitchy BFF, and after epic grovel-HEA. 😋 I was completely wrong.
Damian (future alpha) dated Emily (human BFF) growing up, when he realized Serenity was his fated mate he rejected her. She leaves before they get married. We open up with her returning after 3-4 years for her other BFF’s wedding.
There’re the typical editing, grammar, wordy indirect sentence issues you see with self-published books, but IMO the biggest issue is the flow of the plot. It reads like it was written in individual chapters, and then stacked together because many, many times the ending/beginning of new chapter repeats part of the conversation/happenings that we just finished. There’re a lot of POVs, and they switch midchapter without any label. Like we’re in Killian’s POV, but the next page it's from Serenity's. We also are constantly being veered off on a scenic route from the plot path. It just didn’t feel planned out. It was like when my boys try to make me breakfast, and sort of throw a bunch of shit together without following a recipe. .
SPOILERS For example,
We spend the majority of the book with the understanding that she has mom/dad and brother. These relationships are never really developed, but it felt so random when at ¾ she’s having a nightmare about her abusive bio dad. (who's now the baddie) Then she’s telling her packmates how she was adopted, but shouldn’t they know?
Or, Matthew. Is he her BF or not. She acts like he’s a friend, but labels him as her BF. There’s nothing intimate between the two that I know of. His a bad ass alpha in the beginning. Then he's randomly putting a wig on and dancing to Beyoncé in his room. Then grabbing the Elijah’s bottle to drink out off. ???
Or, like adding identities for their wolves midbook without any explanation. We are well over halfway when all the sudden Killian is in the mix. (D’s wolf) There’s no mention of anything like this then at the end Kira whimpers. (S’s wolf)
Bottom Line- I think it just needed thought out/planned out more so it flowed… like an outline rather than just writing as you go. Things were thrown in for shock value (I think) but never really discussed. Characters come in and out of scenes with no real development. The rejection reasons were all brushed over. The ending was rushed, and not didn’t make a ton of since.
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November 9, 2022I'm not going to rate this one because I went in to it after reading the reviews so I knew it wouldn't be the best. Just like the reviews said, there were a ton of typos and grammatical errors, and some sentences/paragraphs that just didn't make sense. But the story itself sounded like it would be perfect for my mood so I gave it a chance. Sadly not even the story made it worth it for me and I ended up skimming most of the end. The story was too chaotic and it felt like there was no real direction. I can't even say there was a romance since the majority of the book was Serenity and Damian avoiding each other.
So unfortunately even going into the story not expecting anything amazing it still didn't work out.
So unfortunately even going into the story not expecting anything amazing it still didn't work out.
January 2, 2022
Decent story but terrible editing..or lack of any kind of editing. Almost feels like the author finished writing this book and got it published immediately. Now why did I read it despite the numerous 1 star and 2 star reviews? I wanted to see how bad it could be and I'm a sucker for a rejected mates story. And I also thought "how bad can it be?!". 😬
May 8, 2022
Just no! So many errors and horrible writing
Man oh man where do I start?? I thought I would try a book with a 4 star rating. I wasn’t expecting it to be great but I wasn’t expecting it to be as bad as it was.
I’m going to be brutally honest here and say this book was terrible. So much was wrong with it I honestly can’t believe it was published on Amazon.
I swear this was one of those weird pay by chapter books. The writing was terrible, the plot was awful, and the grammatical errors were off the chart. The wrong words were used in places, no spacing in between some words. There were even sentences that weren’t capitalize at the beginning or had no punctuation at the end.
I do not understand how this book has a 4 star rating, the story jumped around and didn’t make sense in places, and it ended abruptly. I was really hoping to find a hidden gem in this book.
Man oh man where do I start?? I thought I would try a book with a 4 star rating. I wasn’t expecting it to be great but I wasn’t expecting it to be as bad as it was.
I’m going to be brutally honest here and say this book was terrible. So much was wrong with it I honestly can’t believe it was published on Amazon.
I swear this was one of those weird pay by chapter books. The writing was terrible, the plot was awful, and the grammatical errors were off the chart. The wrong words were used in places, no spacing in between some words. There were even sentences that weren’t capitalize at the beginning or had no punctuation at the end.
I do not understand how this book has a 4 star rating, the story jumped around and didn’t make sense in places, and it ended abruptly. I was really hoping to find a hidden gem in this book.
May 23, 2022
I can honestly say, I haven't come across a book THIS BAD in quite some time. I mean, 4% in and I knew it was not going to end well. I don't understand the high ratings, the raving reviews one bit, unless they are written by friends and family who are trying to encourage the author.
This reads like what it is, the very first book written by someone who hasn't really even got a handle on proper writing technique. It's as if this author wrote the book in parts, stuck it together, but never bothered to do a read through and make sure it all made sense. The plot was underdeveloped by quite a bit, the characters needed to be fleshed out way more. I can't even begin to mention the incorrect use of words, the repetition, just the complete strange way this author writes. This book needed MASSIVE amounts of editing, formatting, developmental plotting, an experienced beta reader, I honestly don't think it got any of that. It reads like it was just thrown together.
Am I being harsh? NOPE. This author wants us to to connect with a female main character who was told that her mate tortured and killed innocent people but loves his son, and thinks to herself "aww, he would have been a good dad to our babies". Also we should totally root for the male MC that wants the mate he rejected sooo much, he had no issues having sex with the "pack slut", got caught by his real mate, smirked at her and kept having sex with the other woman. That is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this book's problems. I would seriously not waste your time with this book, it really is as bad as we say it is.
This reads like what it is, the very first book written by someone who hasn't really even got a handle on proper writing technique. It's as if this author wrote the book in parts, stuck it together, but never bothered to do a read through and make sure it all made sense. The plot was underdeveloped by quite a bit, the characters needed to be fleshed out way more. I can't even begin to mention the incorrect use of words, the repetition, just the complete strange way this author writes. This book needed MASSIVE amounts of editing, formatting, developmental plotting, an experienced beta reader, I honestly don't think it got any of that. It reads like it was just thrown together.
Am I being harsh? NOPE. This author wants us to to connect with a female main character who was told that her mate tortured and killed innocent people but loves his son, and thinks to herself "aww, he would have been a good dad to our babies". Also we should totally root for the male MC that wants the mate he rejected sooo much, he had no issues having sex with the "pack slut", got caught by his real mate, smirked at her and kept having sex with the other woman. That is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this book's problems. I would seriously not waste your time with this book, it really is as bad as we say it is.
July 30, 2021
The actual story is good. The writing I've read better, I mean you see this trope alot in shifter books. I didn't like the book layout or the fact that the author had to write Serenity 's POV or Damien 's POV oh and there was *Unknow* POV!!!!!!!!! And there was heaps of grammatical errors and sometimes it does take away from the story cause it gets annoying .
October 10, 2022
needs work
The storyline, while kitschy and traditional, has potential. Unfortunately, the work is in desperate need of an editor for grammar and flow of narrative.
The storyline, while kitschy and traditional, has potential. Unfortunately, the work is in desperate need of an editor for grammar and flow of narrative.
September 20, 2021
all I can say is
The grammatical errors were numerous, the Female is weak so very weak. To me only an idiot doesn’t reveal a threat “to keep from ruining a wedding” well I guess when she was kidnapped during the wedding it didn’t have an impact? Even better lets take everything that our fated mate did to us, screw some chick and just smirk at us when we catch him, screw his human girlfriend that btw causes bruising like she’d been beat when he was doing it on her body and be ok with it. Let’s talk about the “Alpha” the Male was a dumbass. Oooo let’s reject our fated mate because…..wait for it… we could be hurt later on…..! Um okay? He’s got a thrill out of screwing others knowing it’d hurt his fated mate but had a problem when she got a boyfriend??? I couldn’t finish the book. If I’d been tortured as a child last thing I’d do is stay a “victim” which is essentially what she does. Put her head in the sand and just ignore that entire part of her life, because she an innocent?? Wtf how did her adopted parents get away with not informing the Alpha of who her father was? I guess the “scarring on her body” was only there when the author wanted to be dramatic but didn’t exist outside those times? A slash across the face with a silver knife supposedly scars all the male wolves but not hers?
The grammatical errors were numerous, the Female is weak so very weak. To me only an idiot doesn’t reveal a threat “to keep from ruining a wedding” well I guess when she was kidnapped during the wedding it didn’t have an impact? Even better lets take everything that our fated mate did to us, screw some chick and just smirk at us when we catch him, screw his human girlfriend that btw causes bruising like she’d been beat when he was doing it on her body and be ok with it. Let’s talk about the “Alpha” the Male was a dumbass. Oooo let’s reject our fated mate because…..wait for it… we could be hurt later on…..! Um okay? He’s got a thrill out of screwing others knowing it’d hurt his fated mate but had a problem when she got a boyfriend??? I couldn’t finish the book. If I’d been tortured as a child last thing I’d do is stay a “victim” which is essentially what she does. Put her head in the sand and just ignore that entire part of her life, because she an innocent?? Wtf how did her adopted parents get away with not informing the Alpha of who her father was? I guess the “scarring on her body” was only there when the author wanted to be dramatic but didn’t exist outside those times? A slash across the face with a silver knife supposedly scars all the male wolves but not hers?
December 8, 2021
I tried...I read through. Does that count?
So...I read the book. All 178 pages or so. Well, I skimmed through most if it. I saw all the bad ratings, but I've always try my best not to judge a book by others reviews, good or bad. I'm sorry to say that I understand the reason for all the poor ratings and reviews.
First, let me say the cover is beautiful and catches the eye. Now everything else about the book is pretty bad. The grammar, spelling, massive need of editing on just about every paragraph, lack of flow on the storyline, etc.. It was all over the place. Information that was revealed about the FMC was then mentioned again later and...surprise...it's all new news again like the writer forget she already revealed that mystery or how the MC's have rejected each other as mates but still feel that connection, that "tingle" as how the writer describes it.
I know it takes dedication and time when a person writes a story and then shares it with the world, per say. As a reader, I very much appreciate that. She's a writer and needs to either take English courses/writing composition courses or something to help turn her from a writer to an author. Then she needs to have someone do edits on her work before releasing it. I know novels are hardly ever 100% flawless, but this was more than a few typos. There were too many issues for any person to be able to enjoy the book.
So...I read the book. All 178 pages or so. Well, I skimmed through most if it. I saw all the bad ratings, but I've always try my best not to judge a book by others reviews, good or bad. I'm sorry to say that I understand the reason for all the poor ratings and reviews.
First, let me say the cover is beautiful and catches the eye. Now everything else about the book is pretty bad. The grammar, spelling, massive need of editing on just about every paragraph, lack of flow on the storyline, etc.. It was all over the place. Information that was revealed about the FMC was then mentioned again later and...surprise...it's all new news again like the writer forget she already revealed that mystery or how the MC's have rejected each other as mates but still feel that connection, that "tingle" as how the writer describes it.
I know it takes dedication and time when a person writes a story and then shares it with the world, per say. As a reader, I very much appreciate that. She's a writer and needs to either take English courses/writing composition courses or something to help turn her from a writer to an author. Then she needs to have someone do edits on her work before releasing it. I know novels are hardly ever 100% flawless, but this was more than a few typos. There were too many issues for any person to be able to enjoy the book.
October 5, 2022
Hm... I liked the story; even if you would have to rework this book a bit in some places (e.g.: The mate scent should stay the same and not change suddenly). But I found the characters so refreshing that it doesn`t make any difference to me in the end.
Serenity and Damian were not perfect and both suffered from a trauma that shaped them. Both gradually processed this in the course of the further action. And this was also necessary for their own personal healing; so they could find each other in the end.
I also found it very interesting that the wolf side was considered separately from the human side. Both identities also had their own names. But even if they are considered separately; they had to form "a unit" in order to be able to achieve a harmonic co-existence. Damian`s trauma caused this imbalance at the beginning of the book and both, Serenity and Damian, had to suffer under the consequences.
The story works a lot with emotions and little to no sexual action. I found this very fitting.
The HEA (After eight years!) wasn't a given here, but both had the strength to learn from their mistakes and didn't give up on each other in the end. Forgiveness, even if it's not easy, was a very big part here. Serenity needed - understandable - time and distance to decide if she was ready to leave the past behind. And Damian... - He could only wait until she was ready. This was his kind of remorse and penance; for what he has caused.
Serenity and Damian were not perfect and both suffered from a trauma that shaped them. Both gradually processed this in the course of the further action. And this was also necessary for their own personal healing; so they could find each other in the end.
I also found it very interesting that the wolf side was considered separately from the human side. Both identities also had their own names. But even if they are considered separately; they had to form "a unit" in order to be able to achieve a harmonic co-existence. Damian`s trauma caused this imbalance at the beginning of the book and both, Serenity and Damian, had to suffer under the consequences.
The story works a lot with emotions and little to no sexual action. I found this very fitting.
The HEA (After eight years!) wasn't a given here, but both had the strength to learn from their mistakes and didn't give up on each other in the end. Forgiveness, even if it's not easy, was a very big part here. Serenity needed - understandable - time and distance to decide if she was ready to leave the past behind. And Damian... - He could only wait until she was ready. This was his kind of remorse and penance; for what he has caused.
March 31, 2022
DNF
I was/am confused on how and/or why this book is on Amazon. It shouldn't be monetizing AT ALL. The story reads like an amateur VERY young writer wrote this story to place it on Wattpad for a quick, free, "I've read everything on Wattpad and this is the only one left" read and it should have stayed on Wattpad as a free read. Characters are unrelatable. The MFC is slow and simple asf and such a victim in a way that 99% would find disgusting ie; I didn't like her AT ALL. The writing style was just.... yuck with the author seemingly wanting a good word count so there are no contraction words like is not, does not, would not etc... which is annoying because... Who the heck talks or thinks like that??? Thats just a personal pet peeve of mine. The story line, while not extraordinary or different, was decent enough and could've even been great in the hands of a good writer. Unfortunately, it failed in this book. Whoever gave this read more than 2 stars is a patronizing liar because ... no... it's not worth it.
I was/am confused on how and/or why this book is on Amazon. It shouldn't be monetizing AT ALL. The story reads like an amateur VERY young writer wrote this story to place it on Wattpad for a quick, free, "I've read everything on Wattpad and this is the only one left" read and it should have stayed on Wattpad as a free read. Characters are unrelatable. The MFC is slow and simple asf and such a victim in a way that 99% would find disgusting ie; I didn't like her AT ALL. The writing style was just.... yuck with the author seemingly wanting a good word count so there are no contraction words like is not, does not, would not etc... which is annoying because... Who the heck talks or thinks like that??? Thats just a personal pet peeve of mine. The story line, while not extraordinary or different, was decent enough and could've even been great in the hands of a good writer. Unfortunately, it failed in this book. Whoever gave this read more than 2 stars is a patronizing liar because ... no... it's not worth it.
October 24, 2022
Decent Story, Riddled with Wrong-Word, Grammatical , and Plot Errors
The story has potential, however it reads like a first draft.
The wrong word is used throughout the story (i.e.,"wind animals" instead of "wild animals," "gave" instead of "gaze"), and contractions are used incorrectly frequently, and words are inappropriately capitalized.
There are also plot errors - Matthew is mentioned instead of Damien with a key character detail, which makes the story a little confusing, and the wrong pack name is used for a visiting alpha.
Also, sentences are occasionally worded strangely - partially because wrong words are used, or sentences are written in multiple different tenses.
Right off the bat, I thought the story took place outside of the United States, because kilometers are used instead of miles per hour, but then it's stated that the story takes place in California.
There's potential for the story, it's cute, but the errors are too distracting.
The story has potential, however it reads like a first draft.
The wrong word is used throughout the story (i.e.,"wind animals" instead of "wild animals," "gave" instead of "gaze"), and contractions are used incorrectly frequently, and words are inappropriately capitalized.
There are also plot errors - Matthew is mentioned instead of Damien with a key character detail, which makes the story a little confusing, and the wrong pack name is used for a visiting alpha.
Also, sentences are occasionally worded strangely - partially because wrong words are used, or sentences are written in multiple different tenses.
Right off the bat, I thought the story took place outside of the United States, because kilometers are used instead of miles per hour, but then it's stated that the story takes place in California.
There's potential for the story, it's cute, but the errors are too distracting.
September 26, 2021
okay but needs another edit
So a paranormal fated mates (MF) romance which I’m sure can be read as a stand-alone.
The only reason this is a 3 for me is the formatting, and editing.
The storyline is actually pretty good but the execution has missed the mark a bit.
There are several grammatical errors and there’s a slight formatting issue I.e announcing that it’s a memory flashback, who the speaker is (which wouldn’t be so bad had POV not been included) but this you get to the end and the point of view announcements end; so lack of consistency
The “unknown” POV is also moot because the speaker (Matthew) names his wolf.
There are some transition flops too, transitioning from third to first speaker wasn’t seamless and it felt like I was reading a recipe sometimes.
So a paranormal fated mates (MF) romance which I’m sure can be read as a stand-alone.
The only reason this is a 3 for me is the formatting, and editing.
The storyline is actually pretty good but the execution has missed the mark a bit.
There are several grammatical errors and there’s a slight formatting issue I.e announcing that it’s a memory flashback, who the speaker is (which wouldn’t be so bad had POV not been included) but this you get to the end and the point of view announcements end; so lack of consistency
The “unknown” POV is also moot because the speaker (Matthew) names his wolf.
There are some transition flops too, transitioning from third to first speaker wasn’t seamless and it felt like I was reading a recipe sometimes.
September 10, 2021
The book was full of typos and grammatical errors and repeated paragraphs, sometimes sentences just make no sense at all. The book would have definitely benefitted from a proof reader. The basic story is decent but there are so many switches in back and forth time lines, various points of view and dream/ nightmare sequences that felt difficult to follow. The main character gets kidnapped at one point which seems to add nothing to the story. Kind of like ‘oh I’m kidnapped’, ‘being starved and tortured’ ok now she’s in hospital recovering. All very quick and snappy without any padding. Like I say story was over all good but could have done with being fleshed out in some areas.
January 6, 2022
Speechless...not in a good way!!
I'm not even sure how to describe this book without being to harsh but here goes. First, let me say that the story line was not too bad but the way it was written with such horrible grammar and mistakes had my head bursting. It's like a child wrote it that didn't know how go from one person to the next in telling the story.
I literally wanted to stop after 3or4 chapters but being such a obsessive reader felt like I had to carry on till the end in order to give a fair review.
I can't with a good conscience recommend this book to anyone who wants a good read and in the end feels like they spent money on a great book.
I'm not even sure how to describe this book without being to harsh but here goes. First, let me say that the story line was not too bad but the way it was written with such horrible grammar and mistakes had my head bursting. It's like a child wrote it that didn't know how go from one person to the next in telling the story.
I literally wanted to stop after 3or4 chapters but being such a obsessive reader felt like I had to carry on till the end in order to give a fair review.
I can't with a good conscience recommend this book to anyone who wants a good read and in the end feels like they spent money on a great book.
January 27, 2022
book review
I thought it had lot of opportunities to be great but it just never got there. It kept jumping around and I would get confused where in the story I was. There was a lot of word errors. I felt like it was long in unnecessary parts and when it finally got to the main part, it just sped through it like nothing. I felt like the author could of done so much more. I gave one star because of all the confusion and felt I never could get into the story. Sometime I would think about giving up but I read the whole thing just to see if it would get better but it never did.
I thought it had lot of opportunities to be great but it just never got there. It kept jumping around and I would get confused where in the story I was. There was a lot of word errors. I felt like it was long in unnecessary parts and when it finally got to the main part, it just sped through it like nothing. I felt like the author could of done so much more. I gave one star because of all the confusion and felt I never could get into the story. Sometime I would think about giving up but I read the whole thing just to see if it would get better but it never did.
April 17, 2022
Was this book edited?
Curiosity lead me to have a read this,
I wanted to enjoy it.
I abandoned it 2/3 through..why?
Each chapter heading is a descriptive that is completely unnecessary.
Was a spell check used?
A thesaurus might have provided a more mature lexicon.
Basic grammar.
I feel Naomi Jordan may indeed have a book in her but unless it is original and checked before laying it out for all kindle users to read, please kindly actually reread what you have written.
Make your reader care, have compelling characters, a plot that has a flowing narrative.
Create the book like a painting.
Make your reader invested in the lives of your characters.
Curiosity lead me to have a read this,
I wanted to enjoy it.
I abandoned it 2/3 through..why?
Each chapter heading is a descriptive that is completely unnecessary.
Was a spell check used?
A thesaurus might have provided a more mature lexicon.
Basic grammar.
I feel Naomi Jordan may indeed have a book in her but unless it is original and checked before laying it out for all kindle users to read, please kindly actually reread what you have written.
Make your reader care, have compelling characters, a plot that has a flowing narrative.
Create the book like a painting.
Make your reader invested in the lives of your characters.
September 20, 2021
I love reading. Like I could spend all day, every day reading. This book just did not hit the spot; it needs some TLC. Some of the grammar structures are incorrect, punctuation is missing, there are some extra unnecessary words as well. The plot is good but it could do with being expanded upon. Some of the plot points felt a little rushed and I would have liked to see a little deeper into the characters. I was kind of disappointed with how it turned out because I was super excited after reading the description. Oh well…win some, lose some.
October 28, 2021
I agree with the other reviewers - the grammatical errors and writing was awful. I'm not sure if it was errors or English was a second language but it was almost more than I could take.
The protagonist was very weak and pathetic. The antagonist is a complete jerk. Matthew was a sweetheart and deserved better than he got.
Why can't jerks get what they deserve every once in a while? If you want a real revenge on a rejected mate Rejected Wolf (Shattered Fate Book 1). It is short but I found the story more satisfying than this book.
The protagonist was very weak and pathetic. The antagonist is a complete jerk. Matthew was a sweetheart and deserved better than he got.
Why can't jerks get what they deserve every once in a while? If you want a real revenge on a rejected mate Rejected Wolf (Shattered Fate Book 1). It is short but I found the story more satisfying than this book.
October 29, 2021
Not quite
This story started out strong but then by the 6th chapter it became a story with more than a few gramma discrepancies. By the half way mark there were plot by holes and plot twists, such as turning a psychotic father kidnapping his daughter for nefarious reasons situation to a sacrificial heroine situation. I’m sorry author, I tried reading more of it but I just couldn’t do it. Get your editing up to scratch, fill up the plot holes and fix the twists and you’d be good to go.
This story started out strong but then by the 6th chapter it became a story with more than a few gramma discrepancies. By the half way mark there were plot by holes and plot twists, such as turning a psychotic father kidnapping his daughter for nefarious reasons situation to a sacrificial heroine situation. I’m sorry author, I tried reading more of it but I just couldn’t do it. Get your editing up to scratch, fill up the plot holes and fix the twists and you’d be good to go.
December 31, 2021
Edit, edit, edit!
I gave this 3 stars for the story, which if polished could be very good. The mistakes were everywhere! Also, please don't use POV, when the name changes, we all know what that means. The actual set up of this book was terrible, and ending a chapter and starting a chapter with the exact same words is just a way to have a higher word count. Last thing, if the female main character and her friend went to a wedding, why did they basically move in? Nothing makes sense.
I gave this 3 stars for the story, which if polished could be very good. The mistakes were everywhere! Also, please don't use POV, when the name changes, we all know what that means. The actual set up of this book was terrible, and ending a chapter and starting a chapter with the exact same words is just a way to have a higher word count. Last thing, if the female main character and her friend went to a wedding, why did they basically move in? Nothing makes sense.
November 12, 2022
Forgiveness is. ..
These writers make the women forgive horrible painful cruel things to easy.
This wasn't a grand read and yes needs a grammar editor .It wasn't bad but wasn't deep either . I agree that the reason he had was stupid because he had a child and his GF. I mean he had to at least care for his child at the same lever as his mate but not in the same way.So logically his reasons were stupid . I think with a rewrite with more depth to give it some meat and spelling better this could be a good gut wrenching book.As is its just eh .
These writers make the women forgive horrible painful cruel things to easy.
This wasn't a grand read and yes needs a grammar editor .It wasn't bad but wasn't deep either . I agree that the reason he had was stupid because he had a child and his GF. I mean he had to at least care for his child at the same lever as his mate but not in the same way.So logically his reasons were stupid . I think with a rewrite with more depth to give it some meat and spelling better this could be a good gut wrenching book.As is its just eh .
July 11, 2021
Good try
The plot was ok. It feels scattered if that makes sense. Tons of switch backs and details which make it seem not irreverent to the story. He is always mad.. she gets captured which seriously adds nothing ro the plot.. kidnapping and torture and then its like, " oh we found you,, now you're in the hospital, want some soup?" That is how you feel it transitions.Tons of grammatical errors which can make reading annoying. Like a 1/5 for steam. I dunno.
The plot was ok. It feels scattered if that makes sense. Tons of switch backs and details which make it seem not irreverent to the story. He is always mad.. she gets captured which seriously adds nothing ro the plot.. kidnapping and torture and then its like, " oh we found you,, now you're in the hospital, want some soup?" That is how you feel it transitions.Tons of grammatical errors which can make reading annoying. Like a 1/5 for steam. I dunno.
August 26, 2021
Confusing story line
The beginning of the book drew me in, even though I did not like the way the book was written. I would have given the book a better rating but there were so many grammatical errors. Paragraphs were repeated, wrong words used and some sentences didn’t make sense I finally flipped to the end and read the last chapter and epilogue. If errors in books and confusing story lines bother you, don’t read this book.
The beginning of the book drew me in, even though I did not like the way the book was written. I would have given the book a better rating but there were so many grammatical errors. Paragraphs were repeated, wrong words used and some sentences didn’t make sense I finally flipped to the end and read the last chapter and epilogue. If errors in books and confusing story lines bother you, don’t read this book.
August 28, 2021
Mates
I chose this rating because it was not written very well but, it was a good storyline. It felt very disjointed in too many places flitting between different people. She kept losing the plot. It was very annoying because it could have been a very good book. She needs to get someone professional to proof read before publishing to see where she is going wrong. I am sorry for this review but it needed to be said. She needs to think things through properly.
I chose this rating because it was not written very well but, it was a good storyline. It felt very disjointed in too many places flitting between different people. She kept losing the plot. It was very annoying because it could have been a very good book. She needs to get someone professional to proof read before publishing to see where she is going wrong. I am sorry for this review but it needed to be said. She needs to think things through properly.
January 29, 2022
It had great potential but just missed by a long shot
This book had great potential to be great but missed the mark. The grammer and spelling by far one of the worst I have seen. I have never had such a hard time following a book. It was rushed and honestly i would never recommend to anyone. I read more than 300 books a year and this is the first bad review I have ever given. I gave 1 star because as I said the plot had great potential.
This book had great potential to be great but missed the mark. The grammer and spelling by far one of the worst I have seen. I have never had such a hard time following a book. It was rushed and honestly i would never recommend to anyone. I read more than 300 books a year and this is the first bad review I have ever given. I gave 1 star because as I said the plot had great potential.
January 30, 2022
Good story, bad grammar.
I enjoyed the story, but it's hard to lose yourself in a book when you are constantly going back to make sense of the sentence you just read because it has the wrong word in it. There were TONS of these problems, too many to count. The spelling seems to be correct, but spell check programs don't make sure the words are supposed to be there in the first place. I wish I'd had more of a chance to enjoy reading it.
I enjoyed the story, but it's hard to lose yourself in a book when you are constantly going back to make sense of the sentence you just read because it has the wrong word in it. There were TONS of these problems, too many to count. The spelling seems to be correct, but spell check programs don't make sure the words are supposed to be there in the first place. I wish I'd had more of a chance to enjoy reading it.
June 4, 2022
Highly disappointed
Are the excited to read this book thinking that hey was it going to be another typical werewolf book. However the grammatical errors and spelling throughout the entire book made it impossible to stay in the moment. I had to constantly go back to reread a paragraph and put in the correct words that should be there in order for it to make sense. I expect better from a writer and this is a horrible book I was extremely disappointed
Are the excited to read this book thinking that hey was it going to be another typical werewolf book. However the grammatical errors and spelling throughout the entire book made it impossible to stay in the moment. I had to constantly go back to reread a paragraph and put in the correct words that should be there in order for it to make sense. I expect better from a writer and this is a horrible book I was extremely disappointed
June 15, 2022
poor writing quality
Author is contradictory in writing. Matthew and Damien have a discussion in forest where Damien finds out who serenity’s father is then a chapter or two later Damien is told again and he acts like he wasn’t already told that! Author never tells us what name is tattooed on Damien’s neck. Lots of grammatical errors. Author gives the impression that the Heroine is made out to have low self esteem.
Author is contradictory in writing. Matthew and Damien have a discussion in forest where Damien finds out who serenity’s father is then a chapter or two later Damien is told again and he acts like he wasn’t already told that! Author never tells us what name is tattooed on Damien’s neck. Lots of grammatical errors. Author gives the impression that the Heroine is made out to have low self esteem.
July 30, 2021
Not good.
This book is littered with spelling and grammar mistakes, the sentence structuring is awful and the characters are painfully flat. The timeline jumps around constantly and I have absolutely no emotional connection to the characters or plot.
This book needs self-editing, beta readers and a line editor at the very least.
This book is littered with spelling and grammar mistakes, the sentence structuring is awful and the characters are painfully flat. The timeline jumps around constantly and I have absolutely no emotional connection to the characters or plot.
This book needs self-editing, beta readers and a line editor at the very least.
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