Sticky Bottle: The Cycling Year According to Carlton Kirby

by Carlton Kirby

'Entertaining, quirky and an enjoyable read' – Phil Liggett MBE

'A genuine one-off with a ready wit and a killer anecdote to hand at all times' – Rouleur

'Entertaining... Carlton hows no sign of running out of amusing anecdotes... A worthy sequel that will give his fans more of what they like' – Road.cc

Legendary commentator Carlton Kirby's professional cycling race year takes us from the magnificent Grand Tours and iconic Spring Classics to the sport's more bizarre corners with plenty of his inimitable and irreverent diversions en route.

A true cycling nut would be hard pushed to even name all 36 races on the UCI World Tour, but there is much more to professional racing than national tours and monuments. It's a year-long global schedule venturing as far afield as Burkina Faso and Gabon. So why not take some of these roads less travelled in the company of Carlton Kirby, a real commentary nomad, cycling expert and hilarious raconteur.

Carlton's year follows the cycling seasons through the Spring Classics to the Grand Tours and on to the World Championships and Six Day track racing. In between he's visiting the lesser known, bizarre and challenging races such as Tour de Langkawi, Flanders' Scheldeprijs, The Red Hook Crit in New Jersey and UK's National Hill Climb Championships.

Along the way we hear great cycling stories from the past as well as how he appeared in a blockbuster action movie, bought an octopus in an auction, got lost in a storm on a sacred Catalonian mountain and faced near death in a biscuit factory. And that's just some of the anecdotes that don't involve Sean Kelly.

Genres: Cycling, Nonfiction, Sports

256 pages, Hardcover

Published July 25, 2023

Reviews

[Martin Mccann · Rating 3 out of 5]

Normally I'm quite on the ball when it comes to the release of new cycling books, so it was unlike me to not have noticed Carlton had written a sequel to "Magic Spanner". To be fair though it was probably the fact the covers and themes were so similar and I have found myself less active on social media, so it was only when I got an email from Bloomsbury regards their summer sale that I realised this had been released last year.

This book differs very little from his first offering except this time around Sean Kelly as opposed to Daniel Lloyd should get a co-author credit since he is the source of so many of the anecdotes. There are other parallels in that Carlton is still never one to leave a national stereotype on the shelf- once again the only fully formed individuals are British folk or those from anglophone nations- everyone else is reduced to being a representative of the kind of stock national characteristics that formed so much of mainstream stand-up comedy of the 1970s and 80s.

That isn't to say there isn't a lot of decent humour in the book- as well noted, Carlton is a good story-teller but occasionally there is the fear he will slip into full-on pub raconteur with opinions to match. Most females mentioned are described in terms of their attractiveness, although he does row back mostly, but it appears at times he is going after the golf-club bore audience. Also despite this only coming out last year, some of the content has aged horribly, though obviously this isn't a failing on his part. References to using GCN+ to watch races may rankle with those of us upset by how that excellent platform suddenly vanished and one chapter is basically an advert for Zwift, but lines like how Rohan Dennis is one of Carlton's favourite riders really jar when the tragic death of his wife is taken into consideration (again I emphasise that this happened after the book appeared).

There are a few typos missed in the editing stage (a "heel" becomes "heal" and "break" in place of "brake") and I am also slightly mystified by the boxes after each chapter providing a glossary of cycling terms which anyone picking up the book would probably be more than au fait with (although these are alternated with some of the phrases Carlton regularly comes out with while commentating.

As in the first book, Carlton has fully embraced the "here I am, you can either like me or not, I don't care and I ain't changing" ethic. To be fair, he does attract a lot of opposing opinions when commentating and generally while I like him, I can see how he can be annoying at times ( but then again commentating on a 6 hour flat stage with so much air time to fill is going to throw up plenty of opportunities to get on people's nerves). This is ramped up to a higher level in this book, with Carlton not being too shy to blow his own trumpet ( I could say Cornet and make a link to the 1904 TdF but I think he did something similar in his last book).

Overall the structure of the book is clever and introduces readers to some of the lesser-known races and there are a few laugh-out loud moments but this is all underpinned by the fear throughout that Carlton might go full Reform UK at any moment. While this generalisation is most probably unfair on the man, it does again leave the question as to who the book is targeted at- proper cycling fans who are generally a lot more internationalist in view or the type of person who certain tabloid newspapers want to appeal to by going for the lowest common denominator?

[Anthony Frobisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Way With Words

Carlton Kirby, for years the voice of cycling on Eurosport. His new book takes you through the cycling year, espousing the virtues of the myriad and diverse races in the cycling calendar, the countries and cultures and cuisines you encounter at each race and what makes each race so gripping. Added to each chapter are a smattering of Carlton's anecdotes, Kirbyisms and snippets of commentary. If you are a fan cycling, read Sticky Bottle. Because all you need to know is that Carlton Kirby is a man who definitely has a way with words. Hugely enjoyable.

[Douglas Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant

A number of laugh out loud moments as well as a great review of races and experiences throughout the year. Carlton brings the races alive and also provides great information on where to go pre and post races. You’ll need Sean to get you through the crowds….. looking forward to Carltons next instalment. It’s summer and the Tour is only days away, this book will get you in the mood as part of your preparation. Enjoy, I certainly did.

[leigh belbeck · Rating 5 out of 5]

a very enjoyable read

Thanks, Carlton. Loved your book and love your commentary. My wife watches most GCN replays, mostly the ones with yourself and Brian or Sean. We love the dialogue and banter, along with some historical facts and funny tales. Keep up the good work. I’m off to purchase your other book.
Cheers, John Belbeck

[David Portas · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the 2nd book by the eurosport cycling commentator. It focuses on the cycle races in the world calendar and has a chapter on each on his favourite 30 or so. Each chapter has an anecdote or two, info about the event, the region, food, people etc. so its a gentle but fascinating globetrot. Not just for cycle fans. 8/10

[Ales Kukovic · Rating 5 out of 5]

Zelo berljjiva knjiga. Za vsakogar, ki ga vsaj malo zanima profesionalno kolesarsto je knjiga odlično branje. Avtor lepo prikaže pokrajino in ljudi na prizoriščih velikih drik, naniza zanimive podatke o posameznih dirkah, poleg tega pa vplete še anekdotične zgodbe iz lastnega življenja.

[Paul Barton · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this outing Carlton takes us through the full pro cycling calendar discussing each race in detail and peppering his account with numerous anecdotes. A good read but not quite the equal of his Magic Spanner.

[David · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointed. Was expecting more stories and the stories that were told didn't give enough detail or explanation.

[Adam Cathersides · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoroughly enjoyable.

[Andy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Carlton is a great narrator and storyteller. Very enjoyable listen of stories and explanations of the different pro-cycle races throughout the year. (Audible)

[Tim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Delightful

[Sandra Donegan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilariously entertaining. Lots of laugh out loud moments.

I would recommend the audiobook version- Carlton’s impression of Sean Kelly is priceless 😂

[Sean Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lighthearted and entertaining. Follow a cycling season with Carlton Kirby and laugh at the trouble he always seems to find himself in. His cycling anecdotes are guaranteed to make you smile.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's like listening to Carleton talk during a race. loved it.

[Bethan Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun and light hearted, think me and Carlton would be friends

[Chris Howland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent second outing for Mr Kirby, a mixture of personal anecdotes and stories from the annals of cycle racing.
I dare say there will be a third - he spins a very readable yarn!

[Grayson shuck · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really a three but you gotta cheer for the guy.

[Shaun · Rating 4 out of 5]

Laugh out loud funny. A gem for all cycling fans and a useful introduction to the sport for newcomers.