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Anything But My Phone, Mom!: Raising Emotionally Resilient Daughters in the Digital Age
Practical advice for raising authentic, self-reliant teenage girls in the age of the Internet from the experienced clinical psychologist Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler
It may feel as though your preteen or teenage daughter is growing up in a different universe than you did. Between smartphones, social media, and cyberbullying, the world is changing. Technology is transforming how girls identify themselves, learn, develop social skills, and communicate with the people around them. Many mothers feel as though they are venturing into alien territory, with no idea how to navigate these unprecedented situations. But the good news is that regardless of your technological skill, you are still the best person to guide your daughter through all the chaos of adolescence.
In Anything But My Phone, Mom! Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler shows mothers how to handle the modern challenges of parenting teenage girls, drawing upon dozens of interviews with teenagers and their mothers, decades of clinical experience, and her own experience raising a daughter. With clear, practical advice, she provides insights and strategies for how you can better understand your daughter and what she's going through, maintain a close and loving relationship with her, keep her safe, and help her become a resilient, capable, confident, and healthy young woman.
It may feel as though your preteen or teenage daughter is growing up in a different universe than you did. Between smartphones, social media, and cyberbullying, the world is changing. Technology is transforming how girls identify themselves, learn, develop social skills, and communicate with the people around them. Many mothers feel as though they are venturing into alien territory, with no idea how to navigate these unprecedented situations. But the good news is that regardless of your technological skill, you are still the best person to guide your daughter through all the chaos of adolescence.
In Anything But My Phone, Mom! Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler shows mothers how to handle the modern challenges of parenting teenage girls, drawing upon dozens of interviews with teenagers and their mothers, decades of clinical experience, and her own experience raising a daughter. With clear, practical advice, she provides insights and strategies for how you can better understand your daughter and what she's going through, maintain a close and loving relationship with her, keep her safe, and help her become a resilient, capable, confident, and healthy young woman.
384 pages, Paperback
Published February 15, 2022
12 people are currently reading
122 people want to read
About the author
Roni Cohen-Sandler
12 books7 followersRoni Cohen-Sandler, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, nationally recognized author, and educator whose various professional roles enhance her ability to help teens, adults, and families. She has written three parenting books, I’m Not Mad, I Just Hate You!, Trust me—Mom, Everyone Else is Going, and Stressed-out Girls: Helping Them Thrive in the Age of Pressure, and is current writing a book about stress for teen girls. Roni Cohen-Sandler gives lectures, workshops, and keynote addresses throughout the U.S. and abroad. She frequently appears as an expert on parenting, raising teenagers, and family relationships for national television, radio, magazines, and newspapers. Through her travels, Roni Cohen-Sandler stays current with cultural trends, the most prevalent challenges teens face today, and their parents’ greatest worries and questions. What she learns about the latest technology, online practices, and teenage behavior further enriches her clinical work.
In her practice, Dr. Cohen-Sandler specializes in psychological testing, individual psychotherapy, and parent guidance. She conducts thorough psychoeducational and neuropsychological evaluations of children, adolescents, and adults struggling with developmental, learning, social-emotional, psychiatric, and behavioral issues. During feedback sessions, Dr. Cohen-Sandler identifies strengths as well as weaknesses along with patterns and key issues, giving parents an in-depth understanding of their children and what is causing their difficulties. She is particularly known for communicating this information in understandable language and providing detailed, applicable recommendations. Dr. Cohen-Sandler often observes students at school, participates in PPT meetings, and guides parents in advocating successfully for their children.
These abilities to zero in on presenting problems and develop corrective strategies facilitate Dr. Cohen-Sandler’s effectiveness in treating the adolescents and adults she sees in psychotherapy. She helps patients to pinpoint unhealthy patterns in relationships and decision-making, better recognize impediments to their goals, and develop viable approaches to overcome them. Dr. Cohen-Sandler’s knowledge of adolescent development, contemporary teen issues, and achievement challenges enables her not only to address core issues with teens, but also to guide their parents. In this work, she encourages mothers and fathers to examine their own histories, beliefs, and parenting approaches to determine what best serves them and their children and to create the strong, trusting relationships.
In her practice, Dr. Cohen-Sandler specializes in psychological testing, individual psychotherapy, and parent guidance. She conducts thorough psychoeducational and neuropsychological evaluations of children, adolescents, and adults struggling with developmental, learning, social-emotional, psychiatric, and behavioral issues. During feedback sessions, Dr. Cohen-Sandler identifies strengths as well as weaknesses along with patterns and key issues, giving parents an in-depth understanding of their children and what is causing their difficulties. She is particularly known for communicating this information in understandable language and providing detailed, applicable recommendations. Dr. Cohen-Sandler often observes students at school, participates in PPT meetings, and guides parents in advocating successfully for their children.
These abilities to zero in on presenting problems and develop corrective strategies facilitate Dr. Cohen-Sandler’s effectiveness in treating the adolescents and adults she sees in psychotherapy. She helps patients to pinpoint unhealthy patterns in relationships and decision-making, better recognize impediments to their goals, and develop viable approaches to overcome them. Dr. Cohen-Sandler’s knowledge of adolescent development, contemporary teen issues, and achievement challenges enables her not only to address core issues with teens, but also to guide their parents. In this work, she encourages mothers and fathers to examine their own histories, beliefs, and parenting approaches to determine what best serves them and their children and to create the strong, trusting relationships.
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
July 6, 2022
Anything But My Phone Mom! was a decent read for me. This book is practically full of examples of conversations and how to respond to it and even tips that you can use when raising a daughter in the digital age. I loved how the author shows the truth and issues a teen experience today. For example, internet bullying, peer pressure, social anxiety and many more. Some of the issue might triggering some people like mention of sexual assault, rape and guns.
Throughout this book, I nodded at almost everything the author mentioned as she compared the do’s and don'ts guides for mothers on how to respond to their teenage daughters. The guides are important as it can make the conversation go both ways or make it worse. From the examples of conversation (swipe left), I can see how important it is the tone change, how by carefully wording, you can make your daughter rely on you more, especially on sensitive topics.
Although this book is practical, there are certain parts where you find it redundant and impractical like the mantra mentioned in this book. In the end, this is such a great book to assist mothers in creating the strong mother-daughter bonds in this era.
Thank you Times Read and Miss Putri for sending me this book in exchange for an honest review.
Throughout this book, I nodded at almost everything the author mentioned as she compared the do’s and don'ts guides for mothers on how to respond to their teenage daughters. The guides are important as it can make the conversation go both ways or make it worse. From the examples of conversation (swipe left), I can see how important it is the tone change, how by carefully wording, you can make your daughter rely on you more, especially on sensitive topics.
Although this book is practical, there are certain parts where you find it redundant and impractical like the mantra mentioned in this book. In the end, this is such a great book to assist mothers in creating the strong mother-daughter bonds in this era.
Thank you Times Read and Miss Putri for sending me this book in exchange for an honest review.
July 9, 2025
The name is deceiving - it’s not as much about help raising a daughter after she gets a phone or with concerns about modern issues like a phone. But it does have basic great advice about understanding your teen and helping her through the teen years. Passing to a friend.
July 7, 2023
Very insightful. Gave fair views of you can’t just take away their phone all the time. Times are different post pandemic!
May 7, 2022
3.5 stars
𝘈𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘔𝘺 𝘗𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘔𝘰𝘮! This book was fine. Basically, it was that we don’t let our kids make mistakes anymore. We don’t let them figure things out on their own, we solve all their problems. It was depressing. It makes me want to throw phones away, but we just can’t quit them. There were very few citations in the book, but because I am a mom and a teacher, I notice many of the same things as the author.
My biggest takeaway: “A mantra for raising authentic, socially skilled, and emotionally resilient girls might be: ‘Mother the daughter you have.’” AND then, two things I think about both for myself and my kid.
1. “Your daughter should know that she does not always have to be cheerful or nice.”
2. Girls who are brought up to be kind, thoughtful, or selfless are sometimes unsure when it is okay to focus on their own needs.
: Despite her superior tech skills, your digital native lacks the background knowledge and judgment to know how, when, and with whom to use them wisely.
: …when she stops getting messages, her dopamine level plummets, her pleasure dissipates, and she suffers a kind of withdrawal.
: Technology makes it harder for teens to develop insights into who they are, identify their feelings, and pay attention to the inner voices that guide behavior.
: They’re so overwhelmed with information to sort out that they don’t get a chance to quiet their brains.
: …persevere through frustration and boredom. Can they resist momentary distractions, no matter how appealing, to refocus on goals.
: Turkle- “ In solitude we learn to concentrate and imagine, to listen to ourselves. We need these skills to be fully present in conversation.”
: Kids will need strong interpersonal skills for the future.
: Only when permitted to struggle can teens become confident about their ability to cope with pressure, manage tough problems, and make independent decisions.
: Teens fare better when urged to adopt integrity over deception and authenticity over false selves.
: 16% of seniors read a book or magazine almost every day. (No source cited)
: Many mothers ask how much screen time is too much. A more helpful way to look at this may be: While glued to screens, what are we 𝘯𝘰𝘵 doing?
𝘈𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘔𝘺 𝘗𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘔𝘰𝘮! This book was fine. Basically, it was that we don’t let our kids make mistakes anymore. We don’t let them figure things out on their own, we solve all their problems. It was depressing. It makes me want to throw phones away, but we just can’t quit them. There were very few citations in the book, but because I am a mom and a teacher, I notice many of the same things as the author.
My biggest takeaway: “A mantra for raising authentic, socially skilled, and emotionally resilient girls might be: ‘Mother the daughter you have.’” AND then, two things I think about both for myself and my kid.
1. “Your daughter should know that she does not always have to be cheerful or nice.”
2. Girls who are brought up to be kind, thoughtful, or selfless are sometimes unsure when it is okay to focus on their own needs.
: Despite her superior tech skills, your digital native lacks the background knowledge and judgment to know how, when, and with whom to use them wisely.
: …when she stops getting messages, her dopamine level plummets, her pleasure dissipates, and she suffers a kind of withdrawal.
: Technology makes it harder for teens to develop insights into who they are, identify their feelings, and pay attention to the inner voices that guide behavior.
: They’re so overwhelmed with information to sort out that they don’t get a chance to quiet their brains.
: …persevere through frustration and boredom. Can they resist momentary distractions, no matter how appealing, to refocus on goals.
: Turkle- “ In solitude we learn to concentrate and imagine, to listen to ourselves. We need these skills to be fully present in conversation.”
: Kids will need strong interpersonal skills for the future.
: Only when permitted to struggle can teens become confident about their ability to cope with pressure, manage tough problems, and make independent decisions.
: Teens fare better when urged to adopt integrity over deception and authenticity over false selves.
: 16% of seniors read a book or magazine almost every day. (No source cited)
: Many mothers ask how much screen time is too much. A more helpful way to look at this may be: While glued to screens, what are we 𝘯𝘰𝘵 doing?
April 26, 2022
Lots of practical tips and includes conversation scripts.
January 11, 2022
Teenagers today are facing unprecedented social issues: internet bullying, social media addiction, and more. Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler has written a helpful, practical guide to assist mothers in creating strong mother-daughter bonds in the digital era. (Full review coming for Shelf Awareness.)
February 25, 2023
This book is about raising teenage daughters and even though I don’t (yet) have a teenage daughter, I found it insightful when thinking about my students (I’m a high school psychology teacher) and when anticipating decisions I will ultimately make as the parent of an adolescent girl when my now 4 year old becomes a teenager. The author’s parenting advice relies heavily on anecdotal evidence (from her own experience and feedback from her clients), but research evidence and stats are also mentioned to support her suggestions. I’d be more interested in delving deeper into the research and the nuance of details from the studies conducted on the subject, but that wasn’t the aim of this book. This is a user friendly, relatable book of parenting advice. She creates dialogue to model what to say (and what NOT to say) in specific situations. My main takeaway is that resiliency and emotional regulation are the key skills to focus on in terms of setting your teen daughter up for success (and that you should be careful about forcing a definition of that “success” on your daughter).
March 23, 2022
Very readable, interesting insights into the realities of adolescence today and how our parenting choices can either make it worse or...tolerable. Useful read for parents, especially of younger teens/tweens who have no idea why their adorable baby is suddenly insane. Eye-opening. (Olivia Rodrigo's song "Brutal" actually makes sense now.)
October 16, 2022
Great read for new Mom’s of tweens/teens. Addresses the reality of raising daughters of this generation. Would’ve liked a little more definitive direction on screen time and social media. But, enjoyed the conversations and she is right on about the issues of this generation.
March 11, 2022
Good read
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews