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The Go-Giver Marriage: A Little Story About the Five Secrets to Lasting Love

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"To say love is what makes a marriage work is like saying it takes oxygen to climb a mountain. Yes, oxygen is necessary. But not sufficient."

From the author of the bestselling Go-Giver series and his wife, a clinically trained therapist, this one-of-a-kind relationship guide shows readers how to unlock a deeply satisfying, abundant relationship based on simple, everyday acts of generosity.

In this new narrative, a position has opened up at the top of the multinational giant Rachel’s Famous Coffee, and Tom desperately wants the job. To gain the position, he must first go through a series of interviews with the company’s top executives, including its eccentric CFO, Jeremiah. Tom’s wife, Tess, is facing her own challenges. The couple first met on the job, where Tess was a rising star—until her career was put on hold by the birth of a son with special needs. The trauma and heartbreak of the past six years has put tremendous stress on their marriage. Now, Tess has learned that her best friend Amy is getting a divorce. Could she and Tom be drifting in the same direction? The thought leaves her stomach in knots.

But Tom and Tess are about to have a transformational day. Over the next few hours, they will each learn from a wise cast of characters (including some surprise guests from previous Go-Giver stories) about five powerful secrets to building a love that lasts.

Over the years since the original book’s publication, the term “go-giver” has become shorthand for a defining set of values that has helped hundreds of thousands of people around the world find greater professional success. Now, with its charming fable-within-a-parable, followed by an in-depth practical guide, The Go-Giver Marriage brings the personal side of The Go-Giver to life.

208 pages, Hardcover

Published March 8, 2022

65 people are currently reading
3214 people want to read

About the author

John David Mann

55 books125 followers
John David Mann is an award-winning author (Nautilus Award, Axiom Business Book Awards, Living Now Book Awards “Evergreen Medal” for “contribution to positive global change,” et al.) whose books have sold more than 3 million copies in three dozen languages, including the bestselling classic THE GO-GIVER with Bob Burg and the New York Times bestsellers THE RED CIRCLE with former Navy SEAL sniper Brandon Webb and THE LATTE FACTOR with David Bach. His first novel, the thriller STEEL FEAR (coauthored with Webb) was released in 2021; Lee Child called it “an instant classic, maybe an instant legend” and it was nominated for a Barry Award. John performed his first composition, a musical score for Aeschylus’s “Prometheus Bound,” in Greece at the play’s original venue when he was 13, and won the BMI Awards for Student Composers at 15. At 17 he spearheaded a group of students who started their own high school (called Changes, Inc.) and after graduating he joined the faculty. He concertized on the cello before turning to careers as an entrepreneur and author. For more, see his full bio at www.johndavidmann.com.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews
Profile Image for Richard Tubb.
Author 5 books30 followers
December 27, 2023
As a huge fan of the original Go-Giver book by Bob Burg and John David Mann, and the other Go-Giver series of books, I was intrigued to read this book written by John David Mann and his wife, Anna Gabriel.

Similarly to the original Go-Giver book, the Go-Giver Marriage is based around five secrets to success. The secrets are shared with you, the reader, by way of a parable - a short story based around a married couple who are influenced by a group of characters (some of which Go-Giver book readers may recognise!) who share marriage lessons and wisdom with them.

The parable itself is a short read, but the real power in this book, in my opinion, is the excellent exploration chapters the authors put together after the story. These chapters help you understand the five secrets and how they can be implemented in your own marriage.

I especially enjoyed the question and answer interview with the authors towards the end of this book.

Upon reflection, while this book is aimed at married couples, the reality is the lessons you learn from this book can be applied to lots of relationships - friends, family, colleagues, children, etc..

An excellent read!
Profile Image for Victoria Ichizli-Bartels.
Author 54 books25 followers
March 14, 2022
I received a review copy of this book, and this is my honest review.
In the middle of reading the book, I decided to preorder and buy the book.
Here are the reasons (in no particular order):
It is a beautifully crafted story that teaches the lessons of creating genuine, rich, and compassionate relationships with metaphors and real-life examples that could and probably did happen to many.
It taps beautifully into the stories of the other books in the Go-Giver series. There are many great surprises and meeting old friends — characters from the other books in the series.
The second part of the book is rich in scientific foundation and examples of putting the great lessons in this book into practice.
And the best reason of all is that the authors wanted to share the gift they share with each other with others and enable the readers to tap into the secrets of long-lasting love.
I kept thinking of wisdom captured by many in many different shapes and which I just found in this quote:
“Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others.”
Brian Tracy
And you feel the gift of love on each page and each word of this beautiful book. As for other Go-Giver books, I expect to reread this book and rediscover its beautiful stories (there is more than one inside, woven magnificently together) and characters many times.
Profile Image for Luke Southard.
455 reviews5 followers
January 30, 2023
So, I’ve been married for 18 years and, when I told my wife I was reading this, she was concerned. A marriage self-help book?

Absolutely, I said.

“You deserve the best husband and I’m always trying to improve.”

With this in mind, there was a lot of interesting things in this book. It’s not written like a textbook, but rather as a story with the lessons baked in so you can see practical applications - a style that I think makes information more accessible to any reader out there.

And, if it’s not clear enough, once the story is over, they go through the material again very plainly with detailed instructions.

One of my favorite things about it, though, is that it’s about improving your marriage by improving yourself. A lot of times when relationships could be improved (or are in a rough spot) people resort to pointing at the other one for fixes. This book basically says “fix yourself and everything will come after.”

I like that it puts the onus on the reader.

Also, while this is a relationship book, I feel like a lot of lessons here can be applied to friendships as well. Showing appreciation, attending, encouraging, loving people for who they are rather than who they could be, etc etc etc.

I liked it.
Profile Image for Cylas Langdon.
71 reviews
January 17, 2023
excellent, like the original go giver is!

Great, tangible ways to improve your marriage - regardless of whether your spouse reads the book! Change starts with me! Great tips.
Profile Image for Jeana.
33 reviews1 follower
June 25, 2025
A very refreshing, inspiring read. A warm book that takes away the cold brought by the logistics of tangible life, and a reminder of the notes left unexplored in-between the lines, in the rustling of leaves, in the whispers of the wind

My fav quote from it —

‘love of my life? Promise me something.’ ‘Anything,’ I replied. And she said, ‘Promise me you’ll keep climbing. Promise me. And when you arrive at the summit, I’ll be there.’”
Profile Image for Anna Hunt.
23 reviews
February 25, 2025
I love how tangible this book and its concepts are. The story and metaphors gave depth to these concepts, which I think helps a reader understand their importance.

I recommend to any of my married friends! Always room to grow in the most important relationship you have here on earth.
Profile Image for Joe.
522 reviews
March 22, 2023
"The Go-Giver Marriage: A Little Story about the Five Secrets to Lasting Love" is a book by Bob Burg and John David Mann. The book is a parable that follows a couple named Joe and Anna, who are struggling in their marriage. Through their journey, they learn five secrets to lasting love, which are:

Value: To make a marriage work, you need to value and prioritize your partner above all else. It means seeing their worth and appreciating them for who they are.

Respect: Respect is vital to a healthy marriage. It involves showing your partner consideration, acknowledging their feelings, and treating them with kindness and dignity.

Understanding: To build a strong marriage, you need to understand your partner's perspective and communicate effectively. It means listening actively, asking questions, and trying to see things from their point of view.

Support: Supporting your partner in their dreams and goals is a key element of a successful marriage. It means being there for them when they need you, encouraging them, and celebrating their achievements.

Responsibility: Taking responsibility for your actions and the role you play in your marriage is essential. It means being accountable for your mistakes, making amends when necessary, and doing your part to make the relationship work.

Overall, "The Go-Giver Marriage" teaches that successful marriages are built on mutual respect, understanding, support, responsibility, and above all, valuing your partner above all else. By focusing on these five secrets, couples can create a strong foundation for lasting love.
Profile Image for Biggest Little Book Talker.
386 reviews3 followers
July 30, 2024
A fun story that is able to give examples through story telling, and then, reiterate and elaborate on them more later on.
These are about habits to put into practice in order to build a better marriage. As the book points out, you want to establish these before a “blowup” if possible.
The authors also answer some questions that people might have in regard to the topics that had been listed.
I would recommend this to anyone in or out of a relationship! Great advice and practices.

5 secrets to lasting love
1. Appreciation is the foundation
- you can look to criticize or appreciate
2. Attend (pay attention)
- be present, tune into that person and take care of them
- Pay attention to what they need and love and show them (big and small)
- Covey love through a meaningful, tangible action
3. Allow
- embrace forgiveness
- When in doubt be kind
- Except that person as they are for who they are
- This when couples pull together or fall apart
- What kind of marriage do you have and what kind of marriage do you want?
- 50/50 marriage is a formula for failure
- When one is down does the other help unburden the other or add to the. Burden
- Take responsibility for the energy that you bring to the relationship
4. Believe in your partner
- seeing and love that person at there core
- Engaging there hopes, wants, dreams
- Avoid the “I love you, but…”
5. Grow/ Believe in yourself
- change your routine
- Invest time and energy into yourself
- If your your best self then
Profile Image for Ana Stanciu-Dumitrache.
970 reviews110 followers
February 25, 2024
O lectura placuta si rapida, din care ramai cu cateva idei valoroase:

"To say love is what makes a marriage work is like saying it takes oxygen to climb a mountain. Yes, oxygen is necessary. But not sufficient."

" The first four secrets for a good marriage are all about what you give to the other person. You appreciate them, attend to them, allow them and believe in them.The fifth secretm though- this one is about you. Because to fully love another you have to fully love yourself."

"This is the essence of marriage: we each maintain our integrity as our own individual selves, yet in our intersection we also create a third, entirely new space between us with a life and quality of its own- the energy of the marriage itself. The US."

- aceasta idee mi-a placut tare mult si o mai auzisem la Raluca Anton si alti terapeuti Imago. Spatiul acesta dintre noi e extrem de valoros si trebuie sa avem grija de el ca relatia noastra sa infloreasca.
Profile Image for emily.
3 reviews
July 29, 2025
It is perhaps difficult to evaluate this book fairly in all its original intention because it doesn't seem targeted towards people in my stage of life. Nonetheless, it puts forth solid advice, some of which took me aback with its relevancy and accuracy to my personal experiences. It's applicable to all varieties of human relations - at work, at school, at home, in our communities, etc. *especially* with regards to the detrimental effects of keeping a score in a relationship. This goes hand-in-hand with the fact that life is not a zero-sum game!

The fictional portion felt a bit contrived, but not to the point of detracting from the message. I'm also partial to fiction and narrative, so in spite of this, the tessandtom bit was still the most enjoyable part for me to read.

(and... finishing this means that i finally read one of miriam's recs!! 1 down & some nontrivial number left to go!)
Profile Image for Gerard Morgan.
Author 5 books
March 25, 2024
Excellent book ...should be given to anyone thinking of a long relationship or those already in one or married.

Parables in the first half of the book are good and have a nice twist at the end.

The second half of the book outlines in detail what the 5 secrets of lasting love are and what they look like in practice, this part is very real and practical..

The 5 secrets are;
Appreciate - specific things about your partner and tell them often
Attend - show love through meaningful tangible actions, based on paying attention to needs/wants/loves of your partner
Allow - you are responsible for the energy you bring to the relationship.. be a safe habour accept your partner as they are
Believe - believe in your partner, let your faith show
Grow- let your partner grow and yourself which in turn will contribute greatly to your collective relationship




Profile Image for Amanda.
231 reviews5 followers
October 17, 2022
Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

Is there anything better than a book that uses a story to communicate powerful truth? I loved the original book, The Go-Giver, and was excited to pick up this one. The story was moving—not because the characters themselves were so relatable, but their experiences were. (Not me crying through secrets 4 and 5…)

I recommend this book to anyone who is married or wants to be married. It’s intensely practical, an easy read, and is packed with a profundity that could change the world. It is a parable, after all. So please, do yourself and all your relationships a favor and pick up a copy of this book.
Profile Image for Aladin.
14 reviews
July 4, 2023
Another wonderful life-changing book from this series!

Once again a cute story that teaches you everything you need to know about love and creating a long-lasting relationship. It can completely rewire how you think about your partner and what you can actually do to love each other more.

One disappointment is that unlike the original Go-Giver, the book isn’t a story from start to finish. There is some traditional self-help chapters towards the end. I love the genre but I feel like the true power of the original Go-Giver was that we learned everything solely through the story.

Apart from that, totally recommended for everyone!
Profile Image for Renata || chicklitknygos.
39 reviews7 followers
February 11, 2022
Naudinga knyga, kurioje ne vien tik sausa teorija, bet lengvai pasakojamos istorijos ir praktiniai patarimai.
Pagrindinė idėja, kuria dalinasi autoriai, jog meilė yra veiksmažodis ir atskleidžia 5 paslaptis - veiksmus, kurie padeda turėti gražią santuoką, santykius.
Rekomenduoju tiems, kam patiko knyga - 5 meilės kalbos.

Ačiū #netgalley ir #JohnDavidMann, #AnaGabrielMann už galimybę perskaityti šią knygą.
1 review
February 23, 2022
Well worth the read. I think that if a couple chooses to follow the "five secrets", the relationship will thrive. The reading is easy and interesting and a reader can get started right away on building relationship. I encountered this book after reading a couple "Go-Giver" books and I am confident that a giving life leads to great satisfaction. I think all of the "secrets" would lend themselves to most relationships and the book is valuable for anyone, married or not.
3 reviews1 follower
March 6, 2024
I have a question instead of a review: when one person in the relationship is consistently practicing all five secrets for years, yet the other spouse does not and is seemingly unaffected by the attention and care being given to them (unaffected meaning doesn’t care to reciprocate or maybe even notice whats happening), how long do you keep going with the marriage without anything being reciprocated?
Profile Image for Lydia Eddington.
136 reviews1 follower
October 21, 2024
I loved the original Go-Giver book so I thought I’d give this one a shot too. Really great principles! However, the parable story at the beginning is much more cheesy and the writing is little cringe if I’m 100% honest.

That being said- I really enjoyed the second half of the book where each principle was gone over and delved into more. That half I think all married couples could benefit from reading. Great stuff.
2 reviews
March 17, 2025
Even though the book is about Marriage, as someone who is not married I think it can be applied to any important relationship in life. I love the go-giver series that teaches lessons with such simplicity. Anytime I pick up a book in this series I can never put it down until I have completed it.
This book is a must for anyone looking to improve their relationships with people and their world view of this thing called LOVE.
Definitely will come back to this book once I am married!!
4 reviews
March 1, 2022
What marriage couldn't use a jolt of pure oxygen? The team of John David Mann and his psychologist wife, Anna, have written an engaging story that drew me in. The practical steps (listed near the end of the book) naturally led me to think about how I could apply them in my own marriage. I highly recommend The Go-Giver Marriage.
1 review
March 8, 2022
Loved this book for it's beautiful writing, engaging characters and simple, common sense formula for creating and improving any relationship. Reminded me of previous successful actions and awakened me to others. Not just about marriages. Can be applied to any relationship in any area of life.

Read in one sitting.
Profile Image for Georgie Huff.
2 reviews
September 26, 2022
I love well written fictions offering wisdom that genuinely makes a meaningful difference in life. This is one of those books. The story is fun, moving, and powerful. I laughed and maybe cried a little :) I especially love the message about truly embodying unconditional love and acceptance. The messages go well beyond marriages. They apply to all relationships. I definitely recommend this book.
3 reviews
September 14, 2023
Amazing Book !

I have truely become the fan of all series of ‘Go-Giver’ book, this is my third book after Go-Giver and Go-Giver Leader, they are all simply inspiring, effective, easy to understand and comprehend in its respective topics. Thank you so much again to the amazing authors in writing these books ❤️❤️❤️
Profile Image for Melon.
103 reviews2 followers
September 10, 2024
From a therapeutic standpoint, the 5 Secrets are very true. They mentioned Dr.Gottman at the end of the book in the discussion portion and the Gottman's (a therapist couple) are THE experts when it comes to relationships and I can definitely see some of their influence. It's also an easy and accessible read so I think many people can easily get some good lessons out of it.
Profile Image for Jinan.
241 reviews40 followers
July 5, 2025
An awesome hybrid book; between parable and corporate non-fiction, and self-help (without being boring or a bullet lists of dos and donts)

Love and stable companionship is a life need; and the ones who think otherwise probably need this book the most; elsewise any else would gain much from the wisdom enshrined within.
878 reviews47 followers
May 11, 2022
I'm not familiar with the original Go-Giver, but this parable and debrief, was edutainment -- educational + entertainment. For those of us struggling in not optimal relationships and ready to call it quits, you'll be wishing you read this BEFORE you got into a relationship.
Profile Image for Cassandra Burke.
7 reviews
August 27, 2022
The original Go-Giver is one of my favorite and most recommended books. When I saw The Go-Giver Marriage I knew I had to read it. I finished it in 2 sittings!! This book is so well written. The parable was engaging, as always! I loved everything about this book all the way to the end. I also recommend reading the Q&A in the back.
38 reviews
January 21, 2024
About a 4 hour audio.
Has a lot of information, may be better to physically read to be able to take down notes and really focus on what's being told.

5 secrets to to use to keeping your relationship strong.
Profile Image for EB Hooyer.
141 reviews
February 2, 2024
Quick read, very practical. First half was written like a novel, second half expounded on those ideas and gave practical examples for incorporating the ideas into your own life. No matter how long you’ve been married or how happy you are in your marriage, this book has something for you.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 52 reviews

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