Cost of Care

by Betsy Robinson

Abandon Journal exists to showcase writing and artwork that has been created with abandon.

That term is free to be interpreted liberally, but ideally it is the kind of work that takes risks, created in a space wherein the artist doesn’t care what anyone else thinks or what everyone else is doing. We’re open to hybrid work, genre, visual art, and more.

Each issue we showcase work that “abandons form,” and every other issue will be a variation on a theme of abandon.

This story is available free.

Genres: Short Stories, Fiction, Medical, Humor

4 pages, ebook

First published July 1, 2021

About the author

I grew up in New York's Hudson Valley and have lived in New York City for more than 50 years. I was an actor for more than a decade and did an amazing array of ridiculous jobs to support that art. Then I became a magazine writer and editor. Now I am a book editor specializing in spiritual and psychological topics. But I write fiction--specifically, funny literary novels about flawed people. My novel The Last Will & Testament of Zelda McFigg won Black Lawrence Press's 2013 Big Moose Prize and was published in September 2014. My first novel, Plan Z by Leslie Kove, won Mid-List Press's First Novel Series award and was published in 2001.

Radio host Jonathan Schwartz tells an anecdote about Stephen Sondheim: When asked if he was happy about selling 25,000 copies of a book, Sondheim replied, "Yeah, but it's always the same 25,000 people who bought the last thing." Schwartz believes this is because Sondheim's work pokes people, throws light on their flaws, makes them squeal, "No, no, don't show that! Not that!" and this makes many folks uncomfortable. Feeling so exposed evokes a kind of existential hysteria, which people then attempt to explain through hysterical negative criticisms of Sondheim's work, rather than contemplating their own discomfort. But 25,000 people do like Sondheim--including me.

I like to be poked and my writing pokes. It pokes, makes you laugh, and sometimes cry.

My edit of my late mother, Edna Robinson's novel The Trouble with the Truth was published by Simon & Schuster/Infinite Words on Feb. 10, 2015.

Postscript
I am an active reader on Goodreads and cherish my friends here whose reviews enrich my reading choices in ways I never anticipated when I first joined the community.

That said, please do not send me a friend request if you aren't interested in reading and haven't articulated why you want to be my friend in the question answer box in the friend request option. Specifically, if you are a guy looking to seduce and/or pull a scam on some lady, I'm not your lady and I will ignore your request and block you.

Reviews

[Maureen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amusing short story concerning the breakdown costs of a babysitter for her plastic surgeon clients. Here’s the link https://abandonjournal.com/betsy-robi...

[Sheri · Rating 5 out of 5]

A quick and mirthful short story on an aggravating practice. There's been many a time I've wished to seek my own such revenge!

Thanks to my friend, Maureen, for the link!

https://abandonjournal.com/betsy-robinson/cost-of-care/

[PamG · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cost of Care by Betsy Robinson is a hilarious short story. Are you tired of interpreting medical invoices? Stella took on an emergency babysitting job for a husband and wife couple who are both doctors. I thoroughly enjoyed her itemized invoice. Perhaps they should have negotiated a charge in advance of the babysitting service. This story made me laugh out loud and brightened my day.

[Angela M · Rating 5 out of 5]

The medical and babysitting fees described here are, of course so costly and so absurd, but this short story is priceless! I’m sure there are thousands of people with their own nightmare stories about medical fees and the health care system. I recommend this to anyone who has experienced them. It won’t help you pay your bill, but it definitely will make you laugh over this sad state of affairs. Thanks, Betsy !

Here’s a link to the story: https://abandonjournal.com/betsy-robi...

Be sure to read Betsy’s inspiration for the story. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

[Elyse Walters · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Stella! gasped Doctor George and Melissa Heppleberg, plastics and breast surgeons, respectively.
How can this be?”

Remember when the going rate for babysitting was $.50 an hour? I do! I did it! Lol

Nice to see things change….

Socialized childcare program….??? Babysitting duties vs. Doctor visits? Who should get paid more?

Babysitter & doctors visits: It’s an ‘unregulated’ free-market system!
The smart savvy babysitter is no fool!
She offers….
“a low interest six month payment plan based on that of non-profit-making hospitals.
The babysitter hands over a contract to the doctor…
Charging for her worthy babysitting services.
“You can pay in full now or sign right here and mail your first month-no interest-deposit. Just $2, 006.805-which we’ll round to 80 as a courtesy”.
🩺🍺🍼🧸🖇📝

Hilarious… and not ridiculous!

[Laysee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beware who you hire as a babysitter. The cost of care can be ridiculously alarming. The unnamed babysitter recommended to a pair of surgeon parents by Tots to Docs Premedical Preschool takes sadistic pleasure in breaking down the cost of her impeccable services. Oh, I just love the name of that preschool, don’t you?

Cost of Care is a cheeky and entertaining short story by my GR friend, Betsy Robinson. It is published by Abandon journal and can be read here: Cost of Care

Enjoy!

[Kay · Rating 3 out of 5]

https://abandonjournal.com/betsy-robi...

Very short, minutes read.
A witty story about a babysitter and her itemized charges for her service.

[Mark Porton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so glad I stumbled across this, thanks to reading GR friend reviews!! What a brilliant little, humorous piece. Two stuffy medical specialists reacting with horror as their babysitter breaks down their invoice. So clever, so funny.

I remember complaining to a lawyer once regarding how much he charged me. It was quite different to the estimate he verbally gave me. So I sent an email. He replied and also charged me $200 for perusing my email of complaint. Bastard!! Needless to say, I decided to just shut up and pay - I was clearly dealing duelling with a monster!!

I've just added a book by this author - can't wait to read more of her work.

[Fran · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a delightful take on the charges a shrewd babysitter deemed appropriate for her services to the offspring of two doctors. Thank you Laysee for the link!

[PattyMacDotComma · Rating 5 out of 5]

5★
“'Stella!' gasped Doctors George and Melissa Heppleberg, plastics and breast surgeons, respectively. 'How can this be?'”

Stella has been minding their pre-schooler and presented them with her invoice.

It is short and hilariously funny. You know you need something to brighten your day - well, here it is!

ENJOY!
https://abandonjournal.com/betsy-robi...

[I must check out some of the other stories - how delightful!]

[Tracey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious! Thanks to my Goodreads' friend, Sheri, for posting the link!

[Betsy Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Since Laysee was kind enough to create a book page for this very short story, I thought I'd fill out that page with some information about Abandon Journal which just launched, and also use my review page to fill in some back story for "Cost of Care."

The more upset I am, the funnier I write. The just-published piece of satirical hilarity was borne of what I came to realize was a completely unnecessary breast biopsy on the day of Superstorm Sandy, on the eve of Obama's second election in 2012. On that day I experienced enormous relief that the test result was benign. But then the bills started coming from doctors who had never identified themselves as out-of-network and charges I never could have anticipated for 15-minute needle stick—charges that were actually inflated due to the fact that my catastrophic medical coverage which did not cover them had higher "allowable fees" than the hospital would have charged if I'd had no insurance.

"Cost of Care" poured out of me as a kind of funny vengeance. All of Abandon's stories are free, and mine is here: https://abandonjournal.com/betsy-robi....

And in case you believe there is any exaggeration to the facts that inspired this story, this just-published piece appeared on NPR's website: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-s.... This REALLY happens.

[Cheri · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story was born as a result of the author’s frustration, but it is filled with a humorous story of demanding equality. It’s a short story and available for free online here: https://abandonjournal.com/betsy-robi...

Many thanks to my friend Laysee for pointing the way to this little gem! Her review: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

Many thanks, as well, to my friend Betsy for writing this little gem!

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This tight, witty little story by our own cool Betsy Robinson will give you a chuckle. It’s about a babysitter who is explaining her crazy high prices to a doctor couple. I got fantasy paybacks two ways: as an overcharged patient and as an underpaid babysitter. Really fun little piece.

Read it for free here:

https://abandonjournal.com/betsy-robi...

The writer wrote a review and explains how she came up with this little gem of a story. Check it out!

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

[Cathrine ☯️ · Rating 5 out of 5]

5😸😸😸😸😸
Betsy had me grinning like the Chesire Cat with this turnabout is fair play short story. Takes minutes to read and if you've ever felt suddenly ill trying to understand your EOB insurance statement or a hospital's or surgeon's billing rationale, this will make you feel better. Just what the doctor ordered.

Read it here:
https://abandonjournal.com/betsy-robi...

[Kathryn in FL · Rating 4 out of 5]

I discovered this little poke at the outrageous medical costs that many practitioners feel they are worthy of and yet reject insurance or insurance does pay.
Delightful and spot-on.
In a search for cure of my auto-immune conditions I've easily spent $30-40 over 30 years looking for improvement/cure. Apparently Epstein-Barr and Fibromyalgia which impacts mainly women, is not considered worthy of much research investment by Big Pharma.
Let's not even get started with "natural remedies", which most are over hyped or down right lies and expensive to boot. I digress.
This is what many of us think but are not bold enough to say. Check it out.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun and amusing story about the high cost of child care if you happen to bill highly for your own services. Slick and irrefutable mathematics on display!

[Bianca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very amusing. Wouldn't be wonderful if one could get back at ... (insert your fantasies).

Read it here:
https://abandonjournal.com/betsy-robi...

[Kathleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laughter relieves tension. Smiling is good, too.
Thanks to Betsy Robinson for penning this little gem.
https://abandonjournal.com/betsy-robi...

[Holly R W · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reviewed in July 2021, but edited today (6-30-23)

I'll add my voice to the growing chorus of those who have read Betsy Robinson's short story "Cost of Care". Have you ever gotten an outrageous medical bill? Personally, I was once charged $4ooo. for a shot in the arm. Also, just this week, my dad's dental office threatened to charge him $100. plus the charge of an office visit for daring to cancel an appointment 24 hours in advance. Hmm... These are all too common experiences.

In the story, the author turns the tables on a doctor couple who become pale when presented with the bill from their child's baby sitter. It put a big smile on my face to read this!

Here is the link to the story. https://abandonjournal.com/betsy-robi...

[Dodi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Betsy Robinson explains her babysitting invoice to her clients, two doctors. Her fees are structured as some doctors' fees are, but it really reminded me of being in the ER signing crazy forms when my husband needed emergency surgery. (To this day I wonder what would've happened to him had I not produced a credit card.....) I loved this! I wish I could go back to the hospital and pull off something like this. :-)

[Elizabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is another book that I only found by complete accident through Goodreads. (I love it when that happens!)

This was okay. It was a kind of interesting premise, but it didn't seem to go anywhere. It felt a little tedious to me, and it's only 4 pages. Perhaps it was just a one-trick pony, although there were some moments that did make me smile. I wasn't sure that I felt much of anything for the characters, except that the babysitter is awful and possibly psychotic, and I felt sorry for the parents. Only, I had the distinct impression that it was supposed to be the other way around. It was like watching a bully toy with two people whose lives she was disrupting (and she was manipulating children in order to accomplish this). The story felt like it was building to something, but nothing happened.

It's probably all right as stories go—just not for me. I didn't get it.

[Marianne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clever!

[Kari Ivanova · Rating 4 out of 5]

One word: Hilarious!

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short and to the point.

Found while snooping on Tracey's 2023 year in books.

Hat tip to Maureen, for the link:

https://abandonjournal.com/betsy-robi...

[Jodi · Rating 5 out of 5]

😂So very clever and apropos! Irony at it's best! And perhaps "Touché" sums it up best!🙌

I highly recommend you read this very short article. You'll be very glad you did!:
https://abandonjournal.com/betsy-robi...