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Dear Son: Letters and Reflections from First Nations Fathers and Sons
Dear Son shares heartfelt letters written by First Nations men about life, masculinity, love, culture and racism. Along with his own vivid and poignant prose and poetry, author and editor Thomas Mayor invites 12 contributors to write a letter to their son, father or nephew, bringing together a range of perspectives that offers the greatest celebration of First Nations manhood.
This beautifully designed anthology comes at a time when First Nations peoples are starting to break free of derogatory stereotypes and find solace in their communities and cultures. Yet, each contributor also has one thing in common: they all have a relative who has been terribly wronged – enslaved, raped and dispossessed – because of their Aboriginality.
Featuring letters from Stan Grant, Troy Cassar-Daley, John Liddle, Charlie King, Joe Williams, Yessie Mosby, Joel Bayliss, Daniel James, Jack Latimore, Daniel Morrison, Tim Sculthorpe and Blak Douglas.
A gentle and loving book for families from anywhere in the world. Artwork by proud Kaurna/Ngarrindjeri/Narrunga/Italian Australian artist Tony Wilson, with illustrations and design by Gamilaraay designer Tristan Schultz of Relative Creative.
This beautifully designed anthology comes at a time when First Nations peoples are starting to break free of derogatory stereotypes and find solace in their communities and cultures. Yet, each contributor also has one thing in common: they all have a relative who has been terribly wronged – enslaved, raped and dispossessed – because of their Aboriginality.
Featuring letters from Stan Grant, Troy Cassar-Daley, John Liddle, Charlie King, Joe Williams, Yessie Mosby, Joel Bayliss, Daniel James, Jack Latimore, Daniel Morrison, Tim Sculthorpe and Blak Douglas.
A gentle and loving book for families from anywhere in the world. Artwork by proud Kaurna/Ngarrindjeri/Narrunga/Italian Australian artist Tony Wilson, with illustrations and design by Gamilaraay designer Tristan Schultz of Relative Creative.
200 pages, Hardcover
Published September 1, 2021
18 people are currently reading
217 people want to read
About the author
Thomas Mayor
5 books17 followersThomas Mayor is a Torres Strait Islander man born on Larrakia country in Darwin. As an Islander growing up on the mainland, he learned to hunt traditional foods with his father and to island dance from the Darwin community of Torres Strait Islanders. In high school, Thomas’s English teacher suggested he should become a writer. He didn’t think then that he would become one of the first ever Torres Strait Islander authors to have a book published for the general trade.
Instead, he became a wharf labourer from the age of seventeen, until he became a union official for the Maritime Union of Australia in his early thirties. Quietly spoken in character, Thomas found his voice on the wharves. As he gained the skills of negotiation and organising in the union movement, he applied those skills to advancing the rights of Indigenous peoples, becoming a signatory to the Uluru Statement from the Heart and a tireless campaigner.
Following the Uluru Convention, Thomas was entrusted to carry the sacred canvas of the Uluru Statement from the Heart. He then embarked on an eighteen-month journey around the country to garner support for a constitutionally enshrined First Nations voice, and a Makarrata Commission for truth-telling and agreement-making or treaties. Thomas’s journey continues, both in person and through the pages of this book. The book is his gift to the campaign for Voice, Treaty and Truth. Like the Uluru Statement from the Heart, he hopes that all Australians will accept it.
Instead, he became a wharf labourer from the age of seventeen, until he became a union official for the Maritime Union of Australia in his early thirties. Quietly spoken in character, Thomas found his voice on the wharves. As he gained the skills of negotiation and organising in the union movement, he applied those skills to advancing the rights of Indigenous peoples, becoming a signatory to the Uluru Statement from the Heart and a tireless campaigner.
Following the Uluru Convention, Thomas was entrusted to carry the sacred canvas of the Uluru Statement from the Heart. He then embarked on an eighteen-month journey around the country to garner support for a constitutionally enshrined First Nations voice, and a Makarrata Commission for truth-telling and agreement-making or treaties. Thomas’s journey continues, both in person and through the pages of this book. The book is his gift to the campaign for Voice, Treaty and Truth. Like the Uluru Statement from the Heart, he hopes that all Australians will accept it.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
July 3, 2024
I wanted to start this review honestly and whole heartedly. The collection of letters from Indigenous men to their fathers, nephews and sons was beautifully written and truly made me feel a range of emotions whilst reading them.
The letters included family traditions, culture, discrimination, life, love and overcoming racism and toxic masculinity. It was a very interesting experience for me reading these letters and seeing the humble, raw and vulnerable writing of these men. I loved the hardcover of the book with the beautiful illustrations, that was incredible and deserved 5 stars.
The reason for the 3/5 stars is because, I did struggle to engage and connect with the letters, despite them being written so well. I do not identify as Indigenous however, I wanted to learn more about the culture and their own individual/family experiences. I thought it was beautiful, but it wasn't written for me.
I would still recommend others to read this and form their own opinions.
The letters included family traditions, culture, discrimination, life, love and overcoming racism and toxic masculinity. It was a very interesting experience for me reading these letters and seeing the humble, raw and vulnerable writing of these men. I loved the hardcover of the book with the beautiful illustrations, that was incredible and deserved 5 stars.
The reason for the 3/5 stars is because, I did struggle to engage and connect with the letters, despite them being written so well. I do not identify as Indigenous however, I wanted to learn more about the culture and their own individual/family experiences. I thought it was beautiful, but it wasn't written for me.
I would still recommend others to read this and form their own opinions.
January 29, 2023
Dear son: Letters and Reflections from First Nation Fathers and Sons
By Thomas Mayor
Foreword by award winning author Tara June Winch
This beautiful, heartfelt and powerful anthology brings together a series of letters from Indigenous men to their fathers, nephews and sons.
It’s an affectionate book of stories, about families, discrimination, love, life, culture, systematic racism and masculinity.
All I can say, is this is must read! Not only will this book of wonderful letters stay with me for a very long time, it’s one that I will re read over and over again. With brilliant prose and poetry, it is humble, raw and vulnerable writing that will touch your heart. It’s also the most beautiful hardcover book with some lovely illustrations peppered thoughtfully through.
Sincere thanks to the team at Hardie Grant for the advanced reading copy
By Thomas Mayor
Foreword by award winning author Tara June Winch
This beautiful, heartfelt and powerful anthology brings together a series of letters from Indigenous men to their fathers, nephews and sons.
It’s an affectionate book of stories, about families, discrimination, love, life, culture, systematic racism and masculinity.
All I can say, is this is must read! Not only will this book of wonderful letters stay with me for a very long time, it’s one that I will re read over and over again. With brilliant prose and poetry, it is humble, raw and vulnerable writing that will touch your heart. It’s also the most beautiful hardcover book with some lovely illustrations peppered thoughtfully through.
Sincere thanks to the team at Hardie Grant for the advanced reading copy
July 25, 2024
A book of tender-hearted letters written by First Nation men to their fathers and sons.
The intersectionality of the writers was interesting.
Many of the authors I hadn’t heard of and appreciated the biographies in the back section.
Stan Grant’s passage brought tears to my eyes.
A nicely formatted book.
The intersectionality of the writers was interesting.
Many of the authors I hadn’t heard of and appreciated the biographies in the back section.
Stan Grant’s passage brought tears to my eyes.
A nicely formatted book.
September 25, 2021
Love the idea behind it. But it obviously wasn't written for me.
May 13, 2022
The most beautiful collection of letters and reflections from First Nations men, to their families. Words I wish any son will hear. Simply stunning.
February 27, 2024
brilliant, honest, authentic, raw, heartfelt.
September 7, 2021
so so necessary and also very inclusive, which I really appreciated, including mentions of all genders.
October 1, 2025
3.5 a beautifully written book - the love these fathers have for their sons was really touching and also gave me more insight into the experiences of their parents/grandparents and the impacts of intergenerational trauma
the realities of colonisation - intergenerational trauma etc
- the reality of so many of these authors parents being part of the stolen generation (ones mum being taken from the farm), living in missions which were essentially prisons, the northern territory intervention - as jack latimore says “it’s not an old story. it’s a yarn from the early sixties, soft many of us it’s within living memory” - and just how recent these things were
- “pop comes from a very different time. to understand him, we need to understand his past… who knows how much of your pop’s harshness toward me was a result of the way society treated him?” (thomas mayor)
- “your pop is scarred from australia. there have been times he has been angry… i don’t blame him now. it was all he knew. he had to save me from the life he had been forced to live… you have seen the best of your pop… he didn’t need his muscles anymore” - stan grant
- ‘an english word’ - a poem that takes the definition of ‘colonisation’ from the dictionary and rewrites it - was very powerful
impacts of climate change
- “erosion and rising sea levels are affecting our island home. we are picking up our ancestors’ bones as if they are shells, due to the inundation of our burial grounds” (yessie mosby)
- difficulty of connecting to country today due to climate change and colonisation
being proud of being aboriginal / aboriginal culture
- jack latimores son telling a kid in the playground he is special because he is aboriginal
- joel bayliss’ #indigenousdads hashtag
- “people think our culture is just beautiful dances and artworks, but culture is also about how we practices our values - how we treat each other” (joe williams)
- “you will learn it is not the colour of our skin that defines our aboriginally, it is our ancestry, practice of culture and beliefs” (tim sculthorpe)
other
- “when i was a boy, there was a memory i would use as if it were a child’s tattered comfort blanket” (thomas mayor)
- “while torres strait islander culture is patriarchal, mistreatment of women and violence toward them in any form, is not. we care for our women and our women care for us” (thomas mayor)
- “we follow the path of least resistance until compelled by love” (thomas mayor)
- “don’t get bitter, get better” (charlie king’s grandmother)
- daniel morrison - talking about being a gay aboriginal father
- tim sculthorpe dressing his son up as the world’s first aboriginal astronaut
the realities of colonisation - intergenerational trauma etc
- the reality of so many of these authors parents being part of the stolen generation (ones mum being taken from the farm), living in missions which were essentially prisons, the northern territory intervention - as jack latimore says “it’s not an old story. it’s a yarn from the early sixties, soft many of us it’s within living memory” - and just how recent these things were
- “pop comes from a very different time. to understand him, we need to understand his past… who knows how much of your pop’s harshness toward me was a result of the way society treated him?” (thomas mayor)
- “your pop is scarred from australia. there have been times he has been angry… i don’t blame him now. it was all he knew. he had to save me from the life he had been forced to live… you have seen the best of your pop… he didn’t need his muscles anymore” - stan grant
- ‘an english word’ - a poem that takes the definition of ‘colonisation’ from the dictionary and rewrites it - was very powerful
impacts of climate change
- “erosion and rising sea levels are affecting our island home. we are picking up our ancestors’ bones as if they are shells, due to the inundation of our burial grounds” (yessie mosby)
- difficulty of connecting to country today due to climate change and colonisation
being proud of being aboriginal / aboriginal culture
- jack latimores son telling a kid in the playground he is special because he is aboriginal
- joel bayliss’ #indigenousdads hashtag
- “people think our culture is just beautiful dances and artworks, but culture is also about how we practices our values - how we treat each other” (joe williams)
- “you will learn it is not the colour of our skin that defines our aboriginally, it is our ancestry, practice of culture and beliefs” (tim sculthorpe)
other
- “when i was a boy, there was a memory i would use as if it were a child’s tattered comfort blanket” (thomas mayor)
- “while torres strait islander culture is patriarchal, mistreatment of women and violence toward them in any form, is not. we care for our women and our women care for us” (thomas mayor)
- “we follow the path of least resistance until compelled by love” (thomas mayor)
- “don’t get bitter, get better” (charlie king’s grandmother)
- daniel morrison - talking about being a gay aboriginal father
- tim sculthorpe dressing his son up as the world’s first aboriginal astronaut
February 26, 2023
In your eyes
I saw a new day dawn
As a twinkling star
An ancestor
Come thither and warm
First breath
Heartbeat
Burgeoning cry
Mother's relief
Tears in my eyes.
An important exploration of fatherhood as told from First Nations Australian men. Topics that are so difficult to discuss, discussions that are taboo between fathers and their sons, from sons to fathers. This book is endlessly valuable through the vulnerability and honesty of its authors. Such a wonderful and important work that manages to identify the systemic racism towards Indigenous communities which has unexplainably damaged their families and personal lives for years after Australia's invasion - the letters and poetry use this history as a means to tell the addressee of the letter as well as anyone else reading why they are the father or the son they are and how they can be better. This reflection on being better is something that I rarely come across, the ability to acknowledge that, even despite intergenerational trauma, there is a way to nurture your relationships and raise your children to be good people. There is so much love in these pages, so much acceptance and gratefulness. The collection is a great way for someone such as myself (a white woman) to be educated on subjects of masculinity in relation to culture. It also manages to be wholistic in its approach, the dichotomy of being both incredibly unique to the First Nations' experience as well as being a conversation about fatherhood and masculinity in general. You may see your own father or Pop in the pages of these letters, regardless of cultural background, I certainly did. That again asserts this collection as valuable 1. as an educational tool told from the perspective of First Nations peoples and 2. as an introspective, thoughtful conversation about love and acceptance.
I saw a new day dawn
As a twinkling star
An ancestor
Come thither and warm
First breath
Heartbeat
Burgeoning cry
Mother's relief
Tears in my eyes.
An important exploration of fatherhood as told from First Nations Australian men. Topics that are so difficult to discuss, discussions that are taboo between fathers and their sons, from sons to fathers. This book is endlessly valuable through the vulnerability and honesty of its authors. Such a wonderful and important work that manages to identify the systemic racism towards Indigenous communities which has unexplainably damaged their families and personal lives for years after Australia's invasion - the letters and poetry use this history as a means to tell the addressee of the letter as well as anyone else reading why they are the father or the son they are and how they can be better. This reflection on being better is something that I rarely come across, the ability to acknowledge that, even despite intergenerational trauma, there is a way to nurture your relationships and raise your children to be good people. There is so much love in these pages, so much acceptance and gratefulness. The collection is a great way for someone such as myself (a white woman) to be educated on subjects of masculinity in relation to culture. It also manages to be wholistic in its approach, the dichotomy of being both incredibly unique to the First Nations' experience as well as being a conversation about fatherhood and masculinity in general. You may see your own father or Pop in the pages of these letters, regardless of cultural background, I certainly did. That again asserts this collection as valuable 1. as an educational tool told from the perspective of First Nations peoples and 2. as an introspective, thoughtful conversation about love and acceptance.
Want to read
January 3, 2025***Who sucked me in?***
Katey One More Time on YouTube in their: 'Top 10 Best Books of 2024!'-video published on 31 december 2024.
Listen a book that makes someone almost cries because she thinks the men in her life deserve to hear the kind words the men use in the book... How could I not want to read this book?
Also I am slowly beginning to realise that I have a weakness about stories that deal with men and their kids/boys. I think this past year the only general fiction/literary books I bought/was interested in were about those kinds of relationships.
Katey One More Time on YouTube in their: 'Top 10 Best Books of 2024!'-video published on 31 december 2024.
Listen a book that makes someone almost cries because she thinks the men in her life deserve to hear the kind words the men use in the book... How could I not want to read this book?
Also I am slowly beginning to realise that I have a weakness about stories that deal with men and their kids/boys. I think this past year the only general fiction/literary books I bought/was interested in were about those kinds of relationships.
January 28, 2024
I loved this book. It did an amazing job at capturing each persons voice and stories. It highlighted the continued struggles and trauma of First Nations peoples within Australia with uplifting stories of reconnecting with country/ culture, continuing culture and how culture has adapted and persevered throughout continued colonisation of the land.
I loved that it represented many parts of Australia and different walks of life.
I sometimes felt like the letter were a little short but despite this was able to feel a connection with each one.
I loved that it represented many parts of Australia and different walks of life.
I sometimes felt like the letter were a little short but despite this was able to feel a connection with each one.
November 6, 2022
This moving and heart-warming collection of letters from First Nations men to various members of their families was a really uplifting read. The sharing of their reflections and love for their families, their successes and mistakes gave a deeply personal insight into their lives. The book provides a very positive counterpoint to some of the poisonous perspectives of a few individuals that certain parts of the media have chosen to air in the past. Regardless of that context, it was a beautiful book and lovely read.
May 13, 2023
A beautiful and heartwarming collection of letters that dispels pervasive myths about masculinity in First Nations cultures across Australia. Absolutely loved this!!! The tenderness I felt from this book is what I wanted (and did not quite get) from Love Stories by Trent Dalton. This book was raw and impactful in its exploration of love, family, toxic masculinity, systemic racism, gender, sexuality and hope. So glad I read this!
March 1, 2022
This is an important gentle book which highlights the love between Indigenous men and their sons and fathers. This was written to counteract the negative reports recently about indigenous male parents. The twelve personal letters written to sons and fathers are beautiful, honest and needed.
December 13, 2023
Love the premise of this book: aboriginal men writing letters and reflections to their sons and fathers about life, love, learnings and culture. A simple but touching idea and one that holds powerful memories and reflections that we can all learn from
January 9, 2023
This is a beautiful read. A series of letters from Aboriginal men to their children or their own fathers. Filled with love and hope, they share family histories, struggles and triumphs.
August 25, 2023
Captivating and truly engaging. The voices are so incredibly strong and challenge us to delve deeper into what we know.
December 2, 2024
A collection of letters to sons and a few to fathers. Emotional, enlightening, these letters share intimate thoughts and moments of Indigenous men.
May 9, 2024
Just a wonderful book. I teared up a few times.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews