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Hey Ranger! True Tales of Humor & Misadventure from America's National Parks
In his thirty years with the National Park Service, Jim Burnett has seen it all: boat ramp mishaps that have sent cars into the water; skunks in the outhouse and bears at the dumpster; visitors looking for the bridge over the Grand Canyon.
Unabridged.
Unabridged.
8 pages, Audiobook
First published April 1, 2005
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 145 reviews
December 22, 2021
Park visitors get into Melancholy Situations. Burnett tells only the stories that don't end in death. They're all very short, and most are told in an amusing, lighthearted way. Rangers are largely law-enforcement officers: the authoritarian, law-enforcement attitude comes through sometimes. As does a whiff of an anti-government attitude.
I'll add:
In the Old Faithful campground in Yellowstone, we saw a mother smear ice cream on her child's face for a black bear to lick off, while Dad took a picture.
My dad hiked from the South Rim of the Grand Canyon to the Colorado River, and back, in August, without bringing a water bottle. Vultures circled him the whole way up.
Rangers in Yosemite told us that bears were breaking into vehicles in the parking lot at a rate of 1,200 a year. A bear will break into a vehicle for a peanut. Mother bears teach the cubs how: their favorites were Honda Accords. For an Accord, you pierce the rubber at the top of a back side-window with your claws, rip the window out, and climb in. Then you claw through the back seat into the trunk, and tuck into the food!
I'll add:
In the Old Faithful campground in Yellowstone, we saw a mother smear ice cream on her child's face for a black bear to lick off, while Dad took a picture.
My dad hiked from the South Rim of the Grand Canyon to the Colorado River, and back, in August, without bringing a water bottle. Vultures circled him the whole way up.
Rangers in Yosemite told us that bears were breaking into vehicles in the parking lot at a rate of 1,200 a year. A bear will break into a vehicle for a peanut. Mother bears teach the cubs how: their favorites were Honda Accords. For an Accord, you pierce the rubber at the top of a back side-window with your claws, rip the window out, and climb in. Then you claw through the back seat into the trunk, and tuck into the food!
May 19, 2015
Simply put: Jim Burnett has some funny stories to tell, but he is really bad at telling them.
June 30, 2009
So disappointed! The premise for this book, tales of a national park ranger, held the promise for a fun and entertaining read, but its abysmal. The setup for each story feel arduous and the punchline/resolution to each just doesn't feel worth the effort. Most grating are the folksy acronyms used to describe situations, such as the guys who got in trouble rock climbing to pick up girls having a case of T.O.S.S -Testosterone Overrides Sensible Schemes (oh, wait, was I supposed to have laughed at that?).
Ugh.
Though it's a quick read, I'm abandoning this one half way through. On the plus side, I got this one for free in a box of second-hand books. On the downside, the box also contained the sequel to this one.
Ugh.
Though it's a quick read, I'm abandoning this one half way through. On the plus side, I got this one for free in a box of second-hand books. On the downside, the box also contained the sequel to this one.
April 30, 2021
Wholesome, educational, and humorous
September 22, 2021
While I enjoyed the book, and the author’s voice, I did have a few issues. First, these are the most low-key stories you will ever read. There is very little high-adventure happenings recounted here. Everything was very much at the Reader’s Digest ‘Life in these United States’ level, very low key. A canoe was tipped over, there’s a skunk in the toilet, type of thing. Not one story that was funny enough or exciting enough to want to tell my family about.
My second issue was about the writing. There was not one single exiting moment that wasn’t diffused by the author telling you the punch line before he told the story.
Finally, the book and its tales seem very dated to me. The stories told could have taken place in the 1950’s as easily as in…wait. The stories in the book take place between the 1980’s and 2005(ish), they *are* dated. The only reason they are still relevant today, is that traveling in many of our National Parks is a timeless experience. Much of what we see and do in our National Parks has *not* changed in the last 100 years, and that would be the point of the parks after all.
My second issue was about the writing. There was not one single exiting moment that wasn’t diffused by the author telling you the punch line before he told the story.
Finally, the book and its tales seem very dated to me. The stories told could have taken place in the 1950’s as easily as in…wait. The stories in the book take place between the 1980’s and 2005(ish), they *are* dated. The only reason they are still relevant today, is that traveling in many of our National Parks is a timeless experience. Much of what we see and do in our National Parks has *not* changed in the last 100 years, and that would be the point of the parks after all.
December 8, 2012
You know that uncle of yours that sits in the Barcalounger with a beer and keeps telling stories that he thinks are funny? Well sometimes they are funny and sometimes they are just long, but it seems you never get tired of just sitting there and listening and getting him the next beer. If that uncle is a retired National Parks ranger, then this might be the book he would write.
July 9, 2019
This book was not as great as I thought it would be. There were a few interesting stories but the parks I wanted to hear about - Glacier and Gand Canyon- had hardly any stories.
October 20, 2021
Highly humorous and gives an amazing glimpse into the lives of national park rangers and the silly things *cough* Americans and other not-so-bright people *cough* do.
Definitely recommend!
Definitely recommend!
July 16, 2021
This book is full of stories compiled by National Park Ranger from many different parks he worked in. One thing was pretty clear: there are a ton of idiots out there! I'm astounded at how many people are unprepared for potentially dangerous circumstances, i.e., not dressing properly for hikes, not wearing life jackets when getting on the water, not taking proper nutrition and hydration when being away from camp, etc.
The park rangers regularly rescue these people who have gotten themselves into a pickle because of lack of thinking things through. Entertaining enough, but a little disturbing that these people are all around us.
The park rangers regularly rescue these people who have gotten themselves into a pickle because of lack of thinking things through. Entertaining enough, but a little disturbing that these people are all around us.
August 14, 2012
The title could have been "Don't be a Victim of your Vacation" as Burnett was fond of saying. I was expecting more of an "All Creatures Great and Small" type of book, but it was more of a "What not to do When Visiting a National Park" kind of book. It was fine. It got kind of repetitive, but the lessons in it are definitely worth learning so it certainly wasn't a waste of time.
January 12, 2009
Good to know the ups and downs of being a park ranger. I'm SOOOOOO glad that wasn't my calling in life. Just reading about his time in Glacier during the winter was enough . . . .
February 3, 2017
Jim is in my Sunday School class. Absolutely delightful book, great gift for the guys.
Read
December 27, 2020Not a polished book, but good stories and advice when visiting one of our national parks.
December 29, 2023
An okay book! Maybe bordering on good. Definitely not great. Very lighthearted and surface level. A lot of the stories weren't that compelling, but that is also due to the fact that he only tells stories that have reasonably happy endings- no death. A good book for kids that are interested in learning more about the parks. As an adult, it was a little bit of a struggle to get through, and many of the stories have already slipped my mind. I think it accomplished the goal he set out to achieve, and for that I will give him 3 stars. Some stories are just more of a "had to be there" for them to be that funny and that isn't all his fault. I honestly didn't mind the very consistent use of made up acronyms, but I can see how it may have been grating to some. This book should have been right up my alley but it left me wanting more. It was a book my dad loaned me, so it was worth reading but I personally didn't love it enough to purchase my own copy. If you're looking for a similar book- check out Tales of a Northwest Naturalist. A bit more wildlife focused but the storytelling is phenomenal.
September 28, 2018
Feels more like a collection of short stories than a wonderfully cohesive narrative nonfiction about being a park ranger. But the premise is adorable and the stories are entertaining because... humanity. And science. And then they collide. The tips and tricks were entertaining, the humor was predictable but still humorous, but sometimes the stories didn't flow well, even when they were grouped by a theme.
I would recommend just as an interesting point to the connectivity we all have, but the stupidity of nature. A humorous way to share the story about the seriousness of something like what McCandless did by heading to the Alaskan wilderness unprepared and died as a result in Into the Wild.
I would recommend just as an interesting point to the connectivity we all have, but the stupidity of nature. A humorous way to share the story about the seriousness of something like what McCandless did by heading to the Alaskan wilderness unprepared and died as a result in Into the Wild.
September 18, 2022
I was expecting more from this. The lead up to some of the stories were longer than the actual story. The pacing seemed off. The author has such a fondness for the word melancholy that it brought to mind The Princess Bride: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
December 19, 2023
What should have been a delightful premise fell flat :( Other reviewers have covered a multitude of issues concerning this book, so I'll just refer you to them. The only thing I'll add is that the author has an extreme affinity for the word "melancholy", although I'm not entirely convinced he fully understands what it means...
October 24, 2023
2.5 to 3 stars
I had high expectations for this but was left a bit disappointed. Some parts of this were pretty interesting, but some of the stories dragged. Detailed stories can be good, but some of the stories included needed edited.
I had high expectations for this but was left a bit disappointed. Some parts of this were pretty interesting, but some of the stories dragged. Detailed stories can be good, but some of the stories included needed edited.
August 3, 2021
Most people overlook the duties that a park ranger may encounter during a "typical day" on the job. Jim tells us a variety of crazy situations he has to evaluate and help with during his time serving as a National Park Ranger for over 30 years. He has had to assist boaters on the Colorado River, had to coax a bug out of a man's ear with a flashlight, had to evacuate a skunk from a camper's bathroom using only what was on hand: a Bucket of strong smelling PineSol and enough knowledge of skunks to know how to drive him out safely. He came across a van full of tourists from Europe that almost burned the park down with a huge bonfire and then needed to be rescued the next day on the river when they all capsized and nobody could translate the language barrier. He worked in Glacier where frozen pipes were the norm and time was of essence. Working in the Grand Canyon, he noticed how people underestimate the "grand" in grand canyon. All of these stories he delivers with humor and wit, but also with messages of caution and words of wisdom. He ends the book by giving great advice on how to not be a "victim of your vacation." I would recommend this read to anyone that appreciates nature and the people who work to preserve and protect it and us.
July 30, 2015
Just wrapped up Jim Burnett's Hey Ranger!, and overall I'm mixed on it. I think my biggest mistake is having read this book immediately following Ranger Confidential. Ranger Confidential was a much more serious look behind the scenes of the NPS and its rangers. Hey Ranger! was a lot more lighthearted and comical. I feel this is what is forcing me to rank it lower than Ranger Confidential. I was expecting a more serious read and was let down.
Another disappointment to Hey Ranger! was the comical tone carried through out the book. At one point I began to feel like each and every chapter was going to end in an exclamation point. Perhaps this book is more well suited to a younger audience than I.
If you're looking for a book to read about the NPS and the day-to-day of the Ranger that work there I would pass over Hey Ranger! unless you only want to see sugar coated sunny side. If you want, what I feel is, a more realistic representation of the life's of NPS Rangers read Ranger Confidential instead.
Another disappointment to Hey Ranger! was the comical tone carried through out the book. At one point I began to feel like each and every chapter was going to end in an exclamation point. Perhaps this book is more well suited to a younger audience than I.
If you're looking for a book to read about the NPS and the day-to-day of the Ranger that work there I would pass over Hey Ranger! unless you only want to see sugar coated sunny side. If you want, what I feel is, a more realistic representation of the life's of NPS Rangers read Ranger Confidential instead.
December 11, 2016
Rather disappointing novel whose premise is the recounting of mishaps and other adventures that one accumulates after more than thirty years as a park ranger. The author Jim Burnett presents a rather sanitized novel with sections divided by different park sites that he was stationed at over the course of his career. However Burnett's writing style is a bit old fashioned, dry, and frankly often simply uninteresting. While he avoids stories of outright violence, tragedy, or meanness (which I am sure he bore witness from time to time over three decades), the tales he does recount seemed relatively "ho-hum" for me. I finished the novel out of a sense of loyalty but truthfully none of the stories he recounts were all that memorable. I did appreciate his efforts at educating visitors to park sites, particularly his final chapter with suggestions/tips for novice hikers & campers but this wasn't enough to salvage this collection of mediocrity.
August 31, 2017
Wow. As a former park ranger I definitely expected more from this book. Aside from the chicken story... that was funny. I finally had enough with this book when I finished the chapter about "the time the brown people came." Okay, that wasn't literally what it was called, but it might as well have been. The "story" of visitors from another culture and country was appalling and racist, though I suppose not surprising if I'm being honest. It starts with him giving them directions to the opposite side of camp from the other campers because he just knows they're going to be trouble. But those silly foreigners! They found the campsite just two sites over from the other campers anyway. They play foreign music and have a big bonfire. The other campers are just terrified by them and hide in their vehicle. He gets summoned to deal with them.
July 14, 2018
An interesting collection of stories from the author and other NPS Ranger friends about their experiences as a Park Ranger. While some are from major parks such as the Grand Canyon and Yosemite, others are relatively lesser known parks such as the Buffalo River in Arkansas where he had to help salvage a truck load of chickens from a truck wreck on a bridge crossing the park. Also some fun behind the scenes stories; such as trying to keep water running in their house in East Glacier, Montana and the party line when they were first at Lake Mead. He's been a Ranger since the 70s and this book is slightly dated (he references computer modems as current technology), so some of the stories are really old but still funny. Doesn't matter the year, people forget to pack their brains when on vacation. Some stories were redundant and the silly acronyms got a little old, but overall a good read.
March 14, 2017
This would have been a much better book if it had been written by someone else. The author has some great stories from his many years as a Park Service ranger, but he also has a tendency to stretch a paragraph or two's worth of interesting story out to several pages or even an entire chapter by liberally padding it with extraneous detail and dad humor until the story is no longer interesting.
The final chapter on park safety was the best, because in addition to being informative, the tales used to illustrate each point were concise and lacking any attempt to be funny. If only the whole book had been like that.
The final chapter on park safety was the best, because in addition to being informative, the tales used to illustrate each point were concise and lacking any attempt to be funny. If only the whole book had been like that.
March 16, 2016
This book was disappointing...I didn't find it funny, but it was clear the author finds himself very funny. He thinks he is quite clever and super witty. His humor is very dorky, maybe it's a generational thing... I also felt like I was being lectured to, particularly the last chapter - 20 pages of what to do and what not to when on a trip to a park...thanks for the advice about not locking valuables in a car...really?! I couldn't wait to finish the book just to be done with it already.
November 19, 2007
Lame, in a sort of folksy "yuk yuk" way. I gave it two stars because the story about Archie and Edith launching the boat was funny. Other than that, things I learned from this book: It's hard to catch dead chickens in a fast running river. It's cold in Montana most of the time. Don't feed the bears.
January 17, 2012
Although I once worked with Jim, the ranger who wrote this book, his writing style is a bit too conversational for my tastes. It feels like every sentence is being delivered with a chuckle and it gets annoying after a while.
July 21, 2018
Aside from an overuse of both exclamation points and acronyms, I enjoyed the book. It was a nice mix of entertaining stories, information, and lessons to be learned from the mistakes of others.
December 3, 2023
This book is exactly what it says on the cover. The author was a park ranger for 30 years (!) and shares (somewhat) amusing stories from his time working in parks.
As someone who works in a park, this book was less stressful to read than other park ranger books. The stories are short and told in a lighthearted way. None of them end in human deaths! That's comforting.
My favorite story is the one about the chicken truck crash. A truck carrying thousands of live chickens fell off a bridge into a fast-moving river. The chickens died on impact when their cages hit the water and broke open. The rangers had to quickly figure out how to stop thousands of dead chickens from zooming downriver into a recreation area. That's definitely not a problem that most people face at work.
The majority of the tales are "meh." They're just stories about normal ranger duties. There's a story about a large family from Afghanistan. The family got lost on their way to the campground and needed the author to guide them there. Then the author had to leave his home in the middle of the night to tell the family to turn down their music and control their bonfire. Then the other campers were scared of the family because of racism. (The author also sounds a bit racist, TBH.) Then the family went on a river trip and got lost, so the author had to get in a patrol boat and go fetch them. It's annoying to spend so much energy on one family when the park is full of visitors, but these are all normal duties. This is what rangers do all day. I kept waiting for something unusual to happen in the story, but nothing did.
I think the problem with this book is that the author isn't a good writer. The stories have long set-ups and not much pay off. I wasn't always sure what I was supposed to take away from the stories.
Here are two quotes that resonated with me:
The park where I work has over 300 species of birds and is one of the top birding destinations in the state. I live in constant dread of "bird questions." No, I don't know all 300+ birds! I don't know 300+ of anything!
I wasn't too impressed with this book, but it did make me feel slightly better about the gaps in my bird knowledge. It also made me glad I don't live in the park's staff housing because . . . yikes.
As someone who works in a park, this book was less stressful to read than other park ranger books. The stories are short and told in a lighthearted way. None of them end in human deaths! That's comforting.
My favorite story is the one about the chicken truck crash. A truck carrying thousands of live chickens fell off a bridge into a fast-moving river. The chickens died on impact when their cages hit the water and broke open. The rangers had to quickly figure out how to stop thousands of dead chickens from zooming downriver into a recreation area. That's definitely not a problem that most people face at work.
The majority of the tales are "meh." They're just stories about normal ranger duties. There's a story about a large family from Afghanistan. The family got lost on their way to the campground and needed the author to guide them there. Then the author had to leave his home in the middle of the night to tell the family to turn down their music and control their bonfire. Then the other campers were scared of the family because of racism. (The author also sounds a bit racist, TBH.) Then the family went on a river trip and got lost, so the author had to get in a patrol boat and go fetch them. It's annoying to spend so much energy on one family when the park is full of visitors, but these are all normal duties. This is what rangers do all day. I kept waiting for something unusual to happen in the story, but nothing did.
I think the problem with this book is that the author isn't a good writer. The stories have long set-ups and not much pay off. I wasn't always sure what I was supposed to take away from the stories.
Here are two quotes that resonated with me:
"I heard about a young lady on duty at a visitor center who was approached by a visitor with one of the dreaded 'bird questions.' I say dreaded because rangers are automatically expected by some visitors to be able to instantly identify every variety of bird, tree, flower mammal, fish, insect, reptile and rock, along with every other object, living or dead, that was rumored to have been found in the park sometime in the past, now occurs in the park, or might possibly turn up in the park sometime in the future, or that exists anywhere else on the face of the globe."
"Even though the US government requires its rangers to have college degrees, I'm here to tell you that most of what I need to know in this job I didn't learn in college—or in kindergarten. One of the benefits of trying to answer all those weird questions over the years is that in the process of finding the answer, you can pick up some pretty obscure facts."
The park where I work has over 300 species of birds and is one of the top birding destinations in the state. I live in constant dread of "bird questions." No, I don't know all 300+ birds! I don't know 300+ of anything!
I wasn't too impressed with this book, but it did make me feel slightly better about the gaps in my bird knowledge. It also made me glad I don't live in the park's staff housing because . . . yikes.
August 22, 2024
I loved this book! It was filled with a sublte, sometimes dry humor that reminded me of a lovely older grandpa telling evening stories of wisdom to his grandchildren as they sat around a cozy cabin at dusk surrounded by firelight as they gathered for a family reunion. It had that old-fashioned charm gracing all of his wording. I couldn't help but hear a very particular somewhat-southern accent in my head as I read! (Think Bob Ross mingled with Marty Stouffer... so wise and understanding and comforting to imagine listening to.) HIs personal sense of humor caused me to laugh with every chapter. Jim Burnett has an understated, quiet way of eliciting a smile or giggle, which is different from typical novels found today. But it is such a pure way of speaking you can't help but fall in love with his simple, honest way.
Some stories were more humorous than others, but all of them left you with a lesson to be learned from the wisdom he acquired by living life in the wild, and sometimes harsh, terrains. He often gave a great setting for each of the places or scenarios so you could understand the humorous story that followed. He was well-versed and quoted great authors or poets in many of the stories, which I loved! And he includes websites for additional knowledge about parks, weather, and other sources for knowledge about the places you would like to visit, or how to prepare for such ventures. Burnett advocates being out in the beautiful places all across America, and being alive to do so! He always warns about being prepared, gathering information from the local rangers on site, and most of all, being wise yourself!
Jim Burnett wrote a second book to accompany this one, and I can't wait to get my hands on that one and read it too! I look forward to more of his light, low-key humorous adventures!
Some stories were more humorous than others, but all of them left you with a lesson to be learned from the wisdom he acquired by living life in the wild, and sometimes harsh, terrains. He often gave a great setting for each of the places or scenarios so you could understand the humorous story that followed. He was well-versed and quoted great authors or poets in many of the stories, which I loved! And he includes websites for additional knowledge about parks, weather, and other sources for knowledge about the places you would like to visit, or how to prepare for such ventures. Burnett advocates being out in the beautiful places all across America, and being alive to do so! He always warns about being prepared, gathering information from the local rangers on site, and most of all, being wise yourself!
Jim Burnett wrote a second book to accompany this one, and I can't wait to get my hands on that one and read it too! I look forward to more of his light, low-key humorous adventures!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 145 reviews