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Brazen: My Unorthodox Journey from Long Sleeves to Lingerie
From the star of the Netflix reality series My Unorthodox Life, a riveting, inspiring memoir of one woman’s escape from an extremist religious sect and an extraordinary rise from housewife to shoe designer, to CEO and co-owner of the modeling agency Elite World Group
Ever since she was a child, every aspect of Julia Haart’s life—what she wore, what she ate, what she thought—was controlled by the dictates of ultra-Orthodox Judaism. At nineteen, after a lifetime spent caring for her seven younger siblings, she was married off to a man she barely knew. For the next twenty-three years, her marriage would rule her life. Eventually, when Haart’s younger daughter, Miriam, started to innocently question why she wasn’t allowed to sing in public, run in shorts, or ride a bike without being covered from neck to knee, Haart reached a breaking point. She knew that if she didn’t find a way to leave, her daughters would be forced into the same unending servitude that had imprisoned her.
So Haart created a double life. In the ultra-Orthodox world, clothing has one purpose—to cover the body, head to toe—and giving any thought to one’s appearance beyond that is considered sinful, an affront to God. But when no one was looking, Haart would pore over fashion magazines and sketch designs for the clothes she dreamed about wearing in the world beyond her Orthodox suburb. She started preparing for her escape by educating herself and creating a “freedom” fund. At the age of forty-two, she finally mustered the courage to flee the fundamentalist life that was strangling her soul.
Within a week of her escape, Haart founded a shoe brand, and within nine months, she was at Paris Fashion Week. Just a few years later, she was named creative director of La Perla. Soon she would become co-owner and CEO of Elite World Group, and one of the most powerful people in the fashion industry. Along the way, her four children—Batsheva, Shlomo, Miriam, and Aron—have not only accepted but embraced her transformation.
Propulsive and unforgettable, Haart’s story is the journey from a world of no to a world of yes, and an inspiration for women everywhere to find their freedom, their purpose, and their voice.
Ever since she was a child, every aspect of Julia Haart’s life—what she wore, what she ate, what she thought—was controlled by the dictates of ultra-Orthodox Judaism. At nineteen, after a lifetime spent caring for her seven younger siblings, she was married off to a man she barely knew. For the next twenty-three years, her marriage would rule her life. Eventually, when Haart’s younger daughter, Miriam, started to innocently question why she wasn’t allowed to sing in public, run in shorts, or ride a bike without being covered from neck to knee, Haart reached a breaking point. She knew that if she didn’t find a way to leave, her daughters would be forced into the same unending servitude that had imprisoned her.
So Haart created a double life. In the ultra-Orthodox world, clothing has one purpose—to cover the body, head to toe—and giving any thought to one’s appearance beyond that is considered sinful, an affront to God. But when no one was looking, Haart would pore over fashion magazines and sketch designs for the clothes she dreamed about wearing in the world beyond her Orthodox suburb. She started preparing for her escape by educating herself and creating a “freedom” fund. At the age of forty-two, she finally mustered the courage to flee the fundamentalist life that was strangling her soul.
Within a week of her escape, Haart founded a shoe brand, and within nine months, she was at Paris Fashion Week. Just a few years later, she was named creative director of La Perla. Soon she would become co-owner and CEO of Elite World Group, and one of the most powerful people in the fashion industry. Along the way, her four children—Batsheva, Shlomo, Miriam, and Aron—have not only accepted but embraced her transformation.
Propulsive and unforgettable, Haart’s story is the journey from a world of no to a world of yes, and an inspiration for women everywhere to find their freedom, their purpose, and their voice.
451 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 8, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 638 reviews
December 13, 2022
I give the first 2/3 of the book 3.75 stars and the last third 2.5 stars. By my math that rounds off to 3 stars.
The first part of the book is pretty solid, but as the book goes on you start going "Mmm I dunno if that actually happened. That doesn't sound like a real story." I listened to the audiobook and would say the first part just sounded more genuine.
Her stories of her life from within the Yeshivish community are so interesting (and seem to align with a lot of experiences shared by others who have left ultra orthodox branches of the jewish community.) I appreciate that she expands on things she mentioned on the show in detail in the book. Like her education. I've seen a lot of critics accuse Julia of lying about her lack of education, but in the memoir she explains that her schooling barely included any secular education which would prevent her from being useful in the outside world.
This book is not especially well written. There is a lot of repetition and it drags quite a bit. Things like why she didn't take her children with her when she left are repeated over and over across multiple chapters. Certain phrases like "little did I know that this would almost lead to my undoing" or "I was against interminable odds" are used ad nauseum.
Also I think it's weird to refer to yourself as a disrupter. I think that's something you let other people call you, but don't use as a self descriptor, like "classic beauty".
In the later parts of the book, everyone is trying to sleep with Julia or is obsessed with her and it just sounds like a lot. Also all her poor money decisions really stress me out. Like she did all that reading of secular literature, but never read a book on how to do payroll?
Overall it's a good audiobook for background when you're working on something else or if you were interested because of the show and wanted more details.
The first part of the book is pretty solid, but as the book goes on you start going "Mmm I dunno if that actually happened. That doesn't sound like a real story." I listened to the audiobook and would say the first part just sounded more genuine.
Her stories of her life from within the Yeshivish community are so interesting (and seem to align with a lot of experiences shared by others who have left ultra orthodox branches of the jewish community.) I appreciate that she expands on things she mentioned on the show in detail in the book. Like her education. I've seen a lot of critics accuse Julia of lying about her lack of education, but in the memoir she explains that her schooling barely included any secular education which would prevent her from being useful in the outside world.
This book is not especially well written. There is a lot of repetition and it drags quite a bit. Things like why she didn't take her children with her when she left are repeated over and over across multiple chapters. Certain phrases like "little did I know that this would almost lead to my undoing" or "I was against interminable odds" are used ad nauseum.
Also I think it's weird to refer to yourself as a disrupter. I think that's something you let other people call you, but don't use as a self descriptor, like "classic beauty".
In the later parts of the book, everyone is trying to sleep with Julia or is obsessed with her and it just sounds like a lot. Also all her poor money decisions really stress me out. Like she did all that reading of secular literature, but never read a book on how to do payroll?
Overall it's a good audiobook for background when you're working on something else or if you were interested because of the show and wanted more details.
April 23, 2022
Me. Me. Me. Me. Me!!!! Me! ME. Me me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me!!!! Me! ME. Me me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me!!!! Me! ME. Me me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me!!!! Me! ME. Me me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me!!!! Me! ME. Me me. Oh yeah. ME.
April 28, 2022
While I found the book interesting and engaging (though parts are very very cringey), I thought it was very poorly edited. I found this glaringly obvious in a number of ways.
Disclosure: I would say that I grew up in a similar community and have a similar educational background as her "long-sleeved" beginnings (in Brooklyn, rather than Monsey, where she was [mostly] brought up and raised her children). A lot of her stories about the community she left are very familiar, and I, too, can relay similar accounts (both the good and the bad; the pious and the stupid), especially things that I learned or occurred at the schools and camps that I went to. She labels the yeshivish "Black Hat" world as ultraOrthodox, though she does try to explain the nuance.
I read it over the past weekend, and I shared snippets of her story with my family members. And with every one, my sister or mother would quip "that doesn't make sense, how did she go from A to B?" And I would flip back to the paragraph, re-read it to see if I missed something, and occasionally read the book aloud... and, indeed, it wasn't clear. Now, occasionally, you'll find memoirists will actively gloss over details for the sake of privacy. I don't think that's the case here, rather she told a story and was swift to write her own conclusions/reactions, but may have accidentally left out a few steps along the way.
Likewise, she actively contradicts herself--which is very human, but that doesn't help me, as a reader, understand her point.
She also occasionally slipped into "yeshivish". In one sentence, she might refer to Esau and Jacob (the accepted English translation), and in the next; she writes the Hebrew-transliterated name Moshe. But, I also shook my head when I read her story about her friend who "came down with Leukemia"... or when she Yinglishly wrote "tzeddekesses" as the plural of "tzaddekes" (the proper Hebrew conjugation for 'righteous woman' would be "tzidkaniyot".)
But, what irked me the most, was her misattributing sources. She took the time to explain the difference between the Torah and the Oral tradition of Jewish law (and the Mishna and the Gemara/Talmud). Some notes are included in the back of the book with exact sources (and more on the book's website). But, she will begin a sentence with "As it says in the Torah..." and then quote (and the notes cite) the Mishna, or vice versa, refer to a Talmidic discussion, and then quote a verse from the Torah.
In one story, she complained how she was taught a "chumra", a stringency, as the letter of the law, yet time and time again, she misrepresents what the rules/regulations are versus the community standards. (To be clear, I do not doubt that there were times when she was ostracized by not holding to the strictest standards, as demanded by the community, but I believe that it is just as disingenuous when she explains basic observances that way.)
I honestly don't know how someone who has had no exposure to the Orthodox world would follow a lot of this book. There are so many things that are half explained, or described very poorly. And there are other points that she makes ad nauseum (like how tiny she is).
Is it possible that her editor tried and was vetoed? Sure. Is it possible that this book is the result of a lot of polishing? Absolutely. Or was this book's timeline pushed up once news of it aired on the show and the publishers rushed to print it when Julia Haart was still making headlines? Maybe. Am I being too nitpicky and harsh? Probably. But overall, it made for a less enjoyable reading experience.
Like many others, I binge watched and was fascinated by "My Unorthodox Life" reality show (which launched in July 2021). While there was a lot of backlash to the show (some of which I read), I was really curious how Julia Haart would depict her life and her career trajectory: she catapulted from housewife to running her own shoe company, to becoming Creative Director at La Perla, a global lingerie company. She glossed over those details on the series. And the book was mentioned on the show (the galley was a point of contention). Still, I don't think the book answered a lot of my questions.
Disclosure: I would say that I grew up in a similar community and have a similar educational background as her "long-sleeved" beginnings (in Brooklyn, rather than Monsey, where she was [mostly] brought up and raised her children). A lot of her stories about the community she left are very familiar, and I, too, can relay similar accounts (both the good and the bad; the pious and the stupid), especially things that I learned or occurred at the schools and camps that I went to. She labels the yeshivish "Black Hat" world as ultraOrthodox, though she does try to explain the nuance.
I read it over the past weekend, and I shared snippets of her story with my family members. And with every one, my sister or mother would quip "that doesn't make sense, how did she go from A to B?" And I would flip back to the paragraph, re-read it to see if I missed something, and occasionally read the book aloud... and, indeed, it wasn't clear. Now, occasionally, you'll find memoirists will actively gloss over details for the sake of privacy. I don't think that's the case here, rather she told a story and was swift to write her own conclusions/reactions, but may have accidentally left out a few steps along the way.
Likewise, she actively contradicts herself--which is very human, but that doesn't help me, as a reader, understand her point.
She also occasionally slipped into "yeshivish". In one sentence, she might refer to Esau and Jacob (the accepted English translation), and in the next; she writes the Hebrew-transliterated name Moshe. But, I also shook my head when I read her story about her friend who "came down with Leukemia"... or when she Yinglishly wrote "tzeddekesses" as the plural of "tzaddekes" (the proper Hebrew conjugation for 'righteous woman' would be "tzidkaniyot".)
But, what irked me the most, was her misattributing sources. She took the time to explain the difference between the Torah and the Oral tradition of Jewish law (and the Mishna and the Gemara/Talmud). Some notes are included in the back of the book with exact sources (and more on the book's website). But, she will begin a sentence with "As it says in the Torah..." and then quote (and the notes cite) the Mishna, or vice versa, refer to a Talmidic discussion, and then quote a verse from the Torah.
In one story, she complained how she was taught a "chumra", a stringency, as the letter of the law, yet time and time again, she misrepresents what the rules/regulations are versus the community standards. (To be clear, I do not doubt that there were times when she was ostracized by not holding to the strictest standards, as demanded by the community, but I believe that it is just as disingenuous when she explains basic observances that way.)
I honestly don't know how someone who has had no exposure to the Orthodox world would follow a lot of this book. There are so many things that are half explained, or described very poorly. And there are other points that she makes ad nauseum (like how tiny she is).
Is it possible that her editor tried and was vetoed? Sure. Is it possible that this book is the result of a lot of polishing? Absolutely. Or was this book's timeline pushed up once news of it aired on the show and the publishers rushed to print it when Julia Haart was still making headlines? Maybe. Am I being too nitpicky and harsh? Probably. But overall, it made for a less enjoyable reading experience.
Like many others, I binge watched and was fascinated by "My Unorthodox Life" reality show (which launched in July 2021). While there was a lot of backlash to the show (some of which I read), I was really curious how Julia Haart would depict her life and her career trajectory: she catapulted from housewife to running her own shoe company, to becoming Creative Director at La Perla, a global lingerie company. She glossed over those details on the series. And the book was mentioned on the show (the galley was a point of contention). Still, I don't think the book answered a lot of my questions.
August 25, 2022
I’m tiny! I’m brilliant! I work 20 hours a day! I didn’t sleep for 9 months! Every one of my childbirths was the most difficult the doctors have ever seen! Every man that laid eyes on me wanted to sleep with me! Every person involved in my business tried to screw me over! I was the most stylish and cool mom of all! I’ve read so many books that I can discuss anything! People are fascinated by me!
Y’all.
What could have been a really interesting story is like a 400 page whine and brag-fest. Her ego is also evident in the fact that a ghost writer could have brought this story to life with some artful prose. Instead we get conversation style where Julia is ever the victim or hero.
I always finish books, so putting this in as a DNF wasn’t for me, but this was a slog full of deep, annoyed sighs and eye rolls.
Y’all.
What could have been a really interesting story is like a 400 page whine and brag-fest. Her ego is also evident in the fact that a ghost writer could have brought this story to life with some artful prose. Instead we get conversation style where Julia is ever the victim or hero.
I always finish books, so putting this in as a DNF wasn’t for me, but this was a slog full of deep, annoyed sighs and eye rolls.
April 21, 2022
Interesting memoir, but the first half is certainly stronger than the second, which could have benefited from some judicious editing. The incessant hyperbole started to grate by the second half too - can’t someone be lovely, without being the loveliest person you’ve ever met? Can a meal be delicious, without being the best you’ve ever eaten? Further, although this is a complaint about the lifestyles of the uber rich rather than anything specifically about this memoir, the hyper focus on super expensive luxury goods and services got really old really fast. ‘Treating yourself’ to an $800 meal in a country where children routinely go to school hungry is just gross to me.
April 20, 2022
The first half is an interesting enough window into the haredi community; the second half is utterly vapid. Poorly written.
April 14, 2022
Don't waste your time.
July 27, 2022
Meh. I enjoyed learning more about the culture and why she chose to leave, but I didn't like HER. She's tiny (we know), she "always" does this, she "always" ends relationships well, so everyone ALWAYS likes her, she ALWAYS got the end-of-week bonus, she ALWAYS aced all of her exams. “There’s no WAY you can be forty five!” Come on, there's a difference between being confident and learning a little humility. Plus, I understand she was excited to be able to finally experience (good) sex and love, but seriously, some details should not be shared. Gross.
And also—just wanting to do something and having a creative eye isnt enough to launch a business. Good lord there’s only 7 pages left in this book and she hasn’t managed to do anything except travel the world, hook a ton of investors for cash, and continually get grifted by those she trusted. She kept says “Now I know, but back then I was basically a child.” You know what? Children aren’t business entrepreneurs. At some point she should’ve accepted responsibility for the fact that she did NOTHING to educate herself in the world of business. FFS why am I reading this drek??
And also—just wanting to do something and having a creative eye isnt enough to launch a business. Good lord there’s only 7 pages left in this book and she hasn’t managed to do anything except travel the world, hook a ton of investors for cash, and continually get grifted by those she trusted. She kept says “Now I know, but back then I was basically a child.” You know what? Children aren’t business entrepreneurs. At some point she should’ve accepted responsibility for the fact that she did NOTHING to educate herself in the world of business. FFS why am I reading this drek??
September 6, 2022
I read this after watching “My Unorthodox Life” and my expectations were a little too high. Reading about her life in the ultra-orthodox Jewish was definitely interesting, especially after hearing about it in the show. But the second half (once she’s left the community) definitely dragged on. I had trouble finishing it and wasn’t super impressed overall.
May 21, 2022
What could have been a somewhat interesting 200-page memoir of escaping a fundamentalist Jewish sect is instead a dull, bloated 400-page rambling mess of repetitive boring details. It seems to be a first draft from a woman who barely has a high school education, untouched by an editor. All the while Julia Haart (the fake name for the author) claims to be brilliant, intelligent, and of course "brazen," which is grossly over-selling this stupefying writer. If you're expecting another Unorthodox think again--this is like a middle school girl's long diary with little tension or drama.
The first two-thirds of the book is about her life in the ultra orthodox Jewish "cult" where she claims she was "brainwashed" into following ridiculous rules. She tells us about them over and over and over again, without any real emotion, and there's no real evidence of brainwashing beyond family pressure to do (or not do) things for strange religious reasons. She could have left or said "no" at any time. To waste over 200 pages on what could have been summarized in maybe 50 pages shows that the publisher had no sense of what makes a good memoir.
Once she decides to "break free" (in her early 40s!) there's not even really any drama that goes along with that. She pretends to be crazy to justify her leaving her husband, she moves into New York City, and stumbles into creating her own shoe brand. It's all very circumstantial and no big deal. The last third of the book is excruciatingly detailed about all the horrible mistakes she made and people she mistrusted to put her shoe kingdom together. The only interesting parts are the few liberated sex scenes she has when discovering her ability to squirt massively during orgasms. Isn't that fun to read about?
The book doesn't even really end, it just sputters out with her finally selling her failed brand that has lost tens of thousands of dollars to a company that will take over production and then that's it. Nothing about the past six years, her TV show or why when you see her on Netflix she acts like a dumb nutcase. No real coming-of-age learning about how she would have done life differently or even any demeaning the religious institution she was part of, because even when she left the religious group she continued to rush home on Sabbath and holidays, get in her 1800s outfits, and act like a practitioner. It's very bizarre.
She may have a story worth reading but it isn't in this book. Another author should have tackled her story, talked with others (especially her clueless husband, mean parents, and scheming investors), and put together a balanced account that could have been more dramatic.
Skip this and instead read Deborah Feldman's Unorthodox. That one isn't perfect and has some bad writing as well, but its story is more compelling with true introspection and revelations. Julia Haart may be a reality TV star but as an author she is too slow to stop depending on others and too delusional to understand that she hasn't fully broken free. Namely, she's not that brazen.
The first two-thirds of the book is about her life in the ultra orthodox Jewish "cult" where she claims she was "brainwashed" into following ridiculous rules. She tells us about them over and over and over again, without any real emotion, and there's no real evidence of brainwashing beyond family pressure to do (or not do) things for strange religious reasons. She could have left or said "no" at any time. To waste over 200 pages on what could have been summarized in maybe 50 pages shows that the publisher had no sense of what makes a good memoir.
Once she decides to "break free" (in her early 40s!) there's not even really any drama that goes along with that. She pretends to be crazy to justify her leaving her husband, she moves into New York City, and stumbles into creating her own shoe brand. It's all very circumstantial and no big deal. The last third of the book is excruciatingly detailed about all the horrible mistakes she made and people she mistrusted to put her shoe kingdom together. The only interesting parts are the few liberated sex scenes she has when discovering her ability to squirt massively during orgasms. Isn't that fun to read about?
The book doesn't even really end, it just sputters out with her finally selling her failed brand that has lost tens of thousands of dollars to a company that will take over production and then that's it. Nothing about the past six years, her TV show or why when you see her on Netflix she acts like a dumb nutcase. No real coming-of-age learning about how she would have done life differently or even any demeaning the religious institution she was part of, because even when she left the religious group she continued to rush home on Sabbath and holidays, get in her 1800s outfits, and act like a practitioner. It's very bizarre.
She may have a story worth reading but it isn't in this book. Another author should have tackled her story, talked with others (especially her clueless husband, mean parents, and scheming investors), and put together a balanced account that could have been more dramatic.
Skip this and instead read Deborah Feldman's Unorthodox. That one isn't perfect and has some bad writing as well, but its story is more compelling with true introspection and revelations. Julia Haart may be a reality TV star but as an author she is too slow to stop depending on others and too delusional to understand that she hasn't fully broken free. Namely, she's not that brazen.
February 24, 2023
I found this book to be poorly written and badly edited.
There was a lot of repetition. ‘I can remember exactly what I was wearing’ is an example of a line I read a good 5 times. If not more.
Her role within La Purla was very rushed over in the end after spending what felt like a lifetime listening to her being taken advantage of by ‘friends’ within the world of the billionaire elite which she quite clearly craved to be a part of.
This is a shame as her journey to becoming creative director of this company is what attracted myself and my book club to the story.
I found the beginning of the book interesting. I found Julia’s writing about her marriage and the births of her children to be more real and authentic than the retelling of her jet-set lifestyle.
I think guidance and better editing could have made this book more eye opening and relatable.
I desperately wanted to feel empowered by Julias story however her book does not make it easy to.
I finished it thinking that I cannot have my own re birth as I simply do not have an endless amount of investors to support me flying all over the world and booking suites in hotels.
The desire in this book for wealth and Luxury overshadows Julia’s love of creativity and art. It makes me beg the question whether her true passion lies with design or simply with eating oysters in Paris. I’m sure this was never the intention Julia had when putting pen to paper.
Overall, a frustrating read.
There was a lot of repetition. ‘I can remember exactly what I was wearing’ is an example of a line I read a good 5 times. If not more.
Her role within La Purla was very rushed over in the end after spending what felt like a lifetime listening to her being taken advantage of by ‘friends’ within the world of the billionaire elite which she quite clearly craved to be a part of.
This is a shame as her journey to becoming creative director of this company is what attracted myself and my book club to the story.
I found the beginning of the book interesting. I found Julia’s writing about her marriage and the births of her children to be more real and authentic than the retelling of her jet-set lifestyle.
I think guidance and better editing could have made this book more eye opening and relatable.
I desperately wanted to feel empowered by Julias story however her book does not make it easy to.
I finished it thinking that I cannot have my own re birth as I simply do not have an endless amount of investors to support me flying all over the world and booking suites in hotels.
The desire in this book for wealth and Luxury overshadows Julia’s love of creativity and art. It makes me beg the question whether her true passion lies with design or simply with eating oysters in Paris. I’m sure this was never the intention Julia had when putting pen to paper.
Overall, a frustrating read.
April 29, 2022
5 star - Perfect
4 star - i would recommend
3 star - good
2 star - struggled to complete
1 star - could not finish
4 star - i would recommend
3 star - good
2 star - struggled to complete
1 star - could not finish
August 25, 2022
I watched the Netflix series based on her life - I think she is fascinating. I am compelled by anyone’s story of fleeing fundamentalism of any sort. But OMG was this book poorly written and edited. I have never felt an urge to edit while reading - had it not been a library book, I would have totally taken a red pen to it.
May 9, 2022
3.5 stars
I really liked hearing Julia Haart’s story! I loved My Unorthodox Life so I was very intrigued to hear more about her story. I listed to the audiobook which Julia narrate herself (and I think this is a must!), but I will say that 19 hours felt quite long and I think it could have been trimmed down. I also think a significant part of her life was left out, and I was really hoping to hear about her meeting silvio (her billionaire husband) and becoming CEO of Elite models. Hoping for a sequel (exposé?) covering all of that… and her current divorce proceedings lol
I really liked hearing Julia Haart’s story! I loved My Unorthodox Life so I was very intrigued to hear more about her story. I listed to the audiobook which Julia narrate herself (and I think this is a must!), but I will say that 19 hours felt quite long and I think it could have been trimmed down. I also think a significant part of her life was left out, and I was really hoping to hear about her meeting silvio (her billionaire husband) and becoming CEO of Elite models. Hoping for a sequel (exposé?) covering all of that… and her current divorce proceedings lol
May 4, 2022
Wow! I could not stop listening to this book. This past year I’ve been a little obsessed with reading books about the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community and I may or may not have binge-watched My Unorthodox Life on Netflix. Julia Haart’s story is both heartbreaking and breathtakingly beautiful in one draw. She doesn’t hold back on her frustrations with and critiques of her upbringing while still articulating the beauty of her culture. This is a must read.
February 8, 2023
I quite literally could not finish reading this vanity project. For someone who complains about having such a hard life she sure knows how to brag about herself any chance she gets. I understand wanting this to be authentic and true, I respect that, but this book could have used some edits. The story didn’t flow and multiple times I had to go back and reread to figure out how I’d gotten lost, but I didn’t.
I had high hopes for this book as I love the show on Netflix but this was not a win.
I had high hopes for this book as I love the show on Netflix but this was not a win.
April 14, 2022
It’s a really interesting story, but it feels weirdly short on the details I want to know more about (building her business) and too focused on her sex life. It’s hard to “look the author in the eye” when I’m blushing so hard. I get it’s her way to being liberated but it felt like she could have used the literary space to show more about Elite.
April 18, 2022
I love this book! It's well written, with loads of stories about her entire life from growing up frum, to finally leaving the community. It ends abruptly, with no mention of her marriage to Silvio, or updates on what her kids are doing. Kind of odd as it's been released a year after the Netflix show. Hopefully there's a 2nd book on the way!
June 2, 2022
A 4.5-star rating.
"When I first became creative director of La Perla, I was given media training and guidelines about what to say and what not to say, etc., when I was being interviewed by the press. As usual, I showed up to the media training session wearing a low-cut top and a very mini miniskirt. The instructor... told me that if I wanted to be taken seriously and become respected, I could not wear low-cut tops and miniskirts. You should have seen my face, I explained, very politely and calmly, my stance on this matter. I told them I would wear whatever made me happy, and that people would learn to respect me anyway. To me, real feminism is what I call feminine feminism. You don't need to pretend to be a man to be respected. You don't need to dress like a man to be taken seriously. Enjoy being a woman. Luxuriate in your curves. And stand up and claim that boardroom. True freedom is being yourself-not having to hide your curves, your personality, your opinions.
I don't care if I'm inappropriate. I don't give anyone the right to tell me what is and what is not appropriate. I spent the first forty years of my life trying to be appropriate, and let me tell you: not only did I suck at it, I hated it... I should not have to worry about what inappropriate thoughts a man has when he sees my decollete. It's not my problem... Take responsibility for your own thoughts and actions." pg. 397
This Memoir kept Me enthralled from the first page. Julia shares Her Story much like a new friend would over a getting to know each other brunch. Her Storytelling is so fascinating it becomes dinner, and before You know it 12hrs have sped by. She spares no detail and gives You the nitty-gritty, the faux pas, the vulnerabilities, the small joys, the risky changes, exhilarating growth, and everything in between. Although, I was familiar with ultra orthodoxy from other sources, reading about the arcane and in most cases nonsensical dogma that Women are brainwashed into Living under was challenging to digest. And there were numerous times I wanted to scream! Yet, this work is fiery, inspiring, optimistic, and a superb reminder that We are capable of so much more than We believe.
"When I first became creative director of La Perla, I was given media training and guidelines about what to say and what not to say, etc., when I was being interviewed by the press. As usual, I showed up to the media training session wearing a low-cut top and a very mini miniskirt. The instructor... told me that if I wanted to be taken seriously and become respected, I could not wear low-cut tops and miniskirts. You should have seen my face, I explained, very politely and calmly, my stance on this matter. I told them I would wear whatever made me happy, and that people would learn to respect me anyway. To me, real feminism is what I call feminine feminism. You don't need to pretend to be a man to be respected. You don't need to dress like a man to be taken seriously. Enjoy being a woman. Luxuriate in your curves. And stand up and claim that boardroom. True freedom is being yourself-not having to hide your curves, your personality, your opinions.
I don't care if I'm inappropriate. I don't give anyone the right to tell me what is and what is not appropriate. I spent the first forty years of my life trying to be appropriate, and let me tell you: not only did I suck at it, I hated it... I should not have to worry about what inappropriate thoughts a man has when he sees my decollete. It's not my problem... Take responsibility for your own thoughts and actions." pg. 397
This Memoir kept Me enthralled from the first page. Julia shares Her Story much like a new friend would over a getting to know each other brunch. Her Storytelling is so fascinating it becomes dinner, and before You know it 12hrs have sped by. She spares no detail and gives You the nitty-gritty, the faux pas, the vulnerabilities, the small joys, the risky changes, exhilarating growth, and everything in between. Although, I was familiar with ultra orthodoxy from other sources, reading about the arcane and in most cases nonsensical dogma that Women are brainwashed into Living under was challenging to digest. And there were numerous times I wanted to scream! Yet, this work is fiery, inspiring, optimistic, and a superb reminder that We are capable of so much more than We believe.
April 9, 2024
3.5 ⭐️
Absolutely love Julia Haart. her story is so interesting & inspiring but the book was a bit long/repetitive for me and wasn’t written the best. Also pretty hard to follow in the beginning but definitely worth the read
Absolutely love Julia Haart. her story is so interesting & inspiring but the book was a bit long/repetitive for me and wasn’t written the best. Also pretty hard to follow in the beginning but definitely worth the read
August 12, 2022
I'm not sure where to start with this review. I am giving it a sold 2-star rating – it was okay, kind of. Maybe it is because I had been anxiously anticipating this book for almost a year, and had set high expectations that it feels like an enormous let down. I have watched and loved, "My Unorthodox Life" multiple times and am really looking forward to next season, but this book was not good.
Now, let's just start with how there are a few mistakes (grammar, sentence structure, etc.), which is one thing and happens with a lot of books. But there was also so much random thought or repeat sentences throughout that I kept catching myself thinking, "didn't I just read this?" and then realizing that the same sentence or phrase was used only a few pages earlier.
Personally, as a person who is not Jewish, and does not know Hebrew, there is a lot of words, phrases that while she does explain, gave me a literal headache while trying to read through this. I have no idea how to pronounce most of the words, and because I am not learning Hebrew I also would forget what a specific word would mean by the time it was brought up again. So that was a true struggle I had while trying to get through this.
Most of the book focuses on her life before leaving her ultra religious life, which makes sense in terms of time, but I was personally hoping for a bit more on her growth after that. What we get throughout is actually very surface-level, mostly factual retellings of specific events. While the religious side painted a slightly-better insight of her life, the only part in the later of the book that I felt any emotion as a reader was .
To be honest, the book actually made me dislike Julia a bit. I mean, I still love her attitude and what she's accomplished, but there is a lot that she writes about here that does not sit well with me. Perhaps she is still so new in 'this' world that she's not seeing things as clearly, and understandably her religious prison has skewed her views, but most of the issues she faces in the modern world she always relates back to her ultra fundamentalist upbringing – but, in fact, these issues are very true for all women anywhere and they do not only have to do with religion and fundamentalism. And, her speaking of
I thought Julia came off throughout the later part of the book similarly to a sketchy cars salesman. It put a bad taste in my mouth. It was always sell, sell, sell.
This felt like a collection of stories that she has told to many many people where they are essentially memorized anecdotes. There is little context or insight as to what was "in between" each story, but that was what was missing for me. It is all just little pieces, little highlights, but not the real picture. Too much has been left blank. I will say I was also very confused on her monetary situation throughout the story.
Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate what she has gone through and overcome to get to where she is, and that is something to marvel at, however, a lot of how she got there just didn't sit well with me. The book in its entirety stressed me out and made me irritable. It was just not a pleasant or uplifting read. There is one line in particular that has haunted me since I read it,
Now, let's just start with how there are a few mistakes (grammar, sentence structure, etc.), which is one thing and happens with a lot of books. But there was also so much random thought or repeat sentences throughout that I kept catching myself thinking, "didn't I just read this?" and then realizing that the same sentence or phrase was used only a few pages earlier.
Personally, as a person who is not Jewish, and does not know Hebrew, there is a lot of words, phrases that while she does explain, gave me a literal headache while trying to read through this. I have no idea how to pronounce most of the words, and because I am not learning Hebrew I also would forget what a specific word would mean by the time it was brought up again. So that was a true struggle I had while trying to get through this.
Most of the book focuses on her life before leaving her ultra religious life, which makes sense in terms of time, but I was personally hoping for a bit more on her growth after that. What we get throughout is actually very surface-level, mostly factual retellings of specific events. While the religious side painted a slightly-better insight of her life, the only part in the later of the book that I felt any emotion as a reader was .
To be honest, the book actually made me dislike Julia a bit. I mean, I still love her attitude and what she's accomplished, but there is a lot that she writes about here that does not sit well with me. Perhaps she is still so new in 'this' world that she's not seeing things as clearly, and understandably her religious prison has skewed her views, but most of the issues she faces in the modern world she always relates back to her ultra fundamentalist upbringing – but, in fact, these issues are very true for all women anywhere and they do not only have to do with religion and fundamentalism. And, her speaking of
I thought Julia came off throughout the later part of the book similarly to a sketchy cars salesman. It put a bad taste in my mouth. It was always sell, sell, sell.
This felt like a collection of stories that she has told to many many people where they are essentially memorized anecdotes. There is little context or insight as to what was "in between" each story, but that was what was missing for me. It is all just little pieces, little highlights, but not the real picture. Too much has been left blank. I will say I was also very confused on her monetary situation throughout the story.
Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate what she has gone through and overcome to get to where she is, and that is something to marvel at, however, a lot of how she got there just didn't sit well with me. The book in its entirety stressed me out and made me irritable. It was just not a pleasant or uplifting read. There is one line in particular that has haunted me since I read it,
September 13, 2022
Mm. The out-of-religion story is interesting, but...the book could have used a ghostwriter and/or more intensive editing. I know nothing about Haart other than what is in this book (apparently there's something about a reality show?), so I went in relatively blind, but for all that the peek into strictly Orthodox Judaism is interesting (and more or less in line with what I've read from other writers who left the religion), the general tone of the book falls...somewhere between 'overshare' (I am not a prude, but I do not need to know the exact shape of your orgasms, thanks) and 'un-self-aware'.
And the thing is: Haart acknowledges, more than once, that when she went out into the 'outside' world as an adult (older than I am now), it was something like having her adolescence in her forties: she'd been largely responsible for her siblings' care from a young age and never truly allowed to make her own decisions about...just about anything. It makes sense that we'd see some 'young' mistakes and some immaturities. But...but the writing.
There's a tendency towards superlatives and exaggerations here: A dress isn't ugly, it's the ugliest dress I had ever seen (118). Her face isn't swollen from cheap makeup, it's swollen to ten times its regular size (125). The scenery isn't repetitive, There's literally nothing to see. It's the most boring drive imaginable (148). Designer clothing isn't overpriced, it's the most expensive clothes on earth (393).
My Kindle is old enough that it won't let me search books anymore, so I can't count how many times these words appeared, but the short version is 'too many': literally, beautiful, massive, basically, tiny (always with reference to her body—but never any deviation to 'petite', 'small framed', 'small boned', 'short', etc.), obsessed, stunning, super, fabulous, sexy, glamorous, incredibly...
It's just—it's not lost on me that Haart has made a career for herself in the fashion world (her current title/role is a mystery to me, but I can't be fussed to find out), and a designer should be able to describe a dress in a more creative and detailed way than 'beautiful', no? a beautiful blouse with a high collar and beautiful sleeves with ruching at the wrists... (92)
I'm sorry we don't see more of the other stories Haart touches on: at one point she says that her ex-husband no longer observes the strict rules of their community and has adopted a (relatively) more liberal Judaism; at another point she speaks scathingly of a girl she knew in what I can only describe as fundamentalist Jewish finishing school—a girl who went to sleep at 4:00 A.M. every night and woke up literally nine minutes before we were supposed to get to class. I was horrified by Tzirel's lackadaisical attitude...I know she failed every class she took (84). The latter character is particularly interesting to me because Haart makes a big deal of this school being extremely exclusive and accepting only the crème de la crème of fundie Jewish girls—so I read this and think, was she depressed? Or did she just have it figured out long before Haart, and she knew better than to want to excel in this restrictive life? But it doesn't seem to occur to Haart that there might be a story there.
Hardly the worst thing I've read, but there are better written books out there about both fundamental religion and fashion.
And the thing is: Haart acknowledges, more than once, that when she went out into the 'outside' world as an adult (older than I am now), it was something like having her adolescence in her forties: she'd been largely responsible for her siblings' care from a young age and never truly allowed to make her own decisions about...just about anything. It makes sense that we'd see some 'young' mistakes and some immaturities. But...but the writing.
There's a tendency towards superlatives and exaggerations here: A dress isn't ugly, it's the ugliest dress I had ever seen (118). Her face isn't swollen from cheap makeup, it's swollen to ten times its regular size (125). The scenery isn't repetitive, There's literally nothing to see. It's the most boring drive imaginable (148). Designer clothing isn't overpriced, it's the most expensive clothes on earth (393).
My Kindle is old enough that it won't let me search books anymore, so I can't count how many times these words appeared, but the short version is 'too many': literally, beautiful, massive, basically, tiny (always with reference to her body—but never any deviation to 'petite', 'small framed', 'small boned', 'short', etc.), obsessed, stunning, super, fabulous, sexy, glamorous, incredibly...
It's just—it's not lost on me that Haart has made a career for herself in the fashion world (her current title/role is a mystery to me, but I can't be fussed to find out), and a designer should be able to describe a dress in a more creative and detailed way than 'beautiful', no? a beautiful blouse with a high collar and beautiful sleeves with ruching at the wrists... (92)
I'm sorry we don't see more of the other stories Haart touches on: at one point she says that her ex-husband no longer observes the strict rules of their community and has adopted a (relatively) more liberal Judaism; at another point she speaks scathingly of a girl she knew in what I can only describe as fundamentalist Jewish finishing school—a girl who went to sleep at 4:00 A.M. every night and woke up literally nine minutes before we were supposed to get to class. I was horrified by Tzirel's lackadaisical attitude...I know she failed every class she took (84). The latter character is particularly interesting to me because Haart makes a big deal of this school being extremely exclusive and accepting only the crème de la crème of fundie Jewish girls—so I read this and think, was she depressed? Or did she just have it figured out long before Haart, and she knew better than to want to excel in this restrictive life? But it doesn't seem to occur to Haart that there might be a story there.
Hardly the worst thing I've read, but there are better written books out there about both fundamental religion and fashion.
June 30, 2022
Okay, more like a 2.5 star review of Brazen by Julia Haart. I read this book because I wanted another take on Hasidic women who “went off the derech.” I had no idea she was a celebrity with a TV series on Netflix. Once I got to the part when she left her Hasidic community, I couldn’t finish the book. I have no interest in her life as a shoe designer and fashionista, and the book seemed to get longer and longer as I slogged through it. It didn’t help that I read the e-version, which made it difficult to flip through to get to what I hoped would be more interesting parts. I never did find the sex scenes that so many readers commented on.
I admit that the first section, as her parents become more ultra-Orthodox and then she does as well, were interesting and informative. I especially appreciated her descriptions of how, as a child, she feared the punishment God would inflict if she violated Hasidic norms; then later, as an adult, that she feared how the community’s disapproval and censure would ruin her children’s chances for a good shidduch (marriage match). Unfortunately I didn’t think she did a convincing job of explaining how, if, and to what degree her opinion of the community changed as she overcame those fears. It has nothing to do with my review, but I found it fascinating the many 0-star Amazon reviews from ultra-Orthodox readers who reviled the book mercilessly. I would have thought that community would be forbidden to read such a book, never mind using a computer and going on Amazon.
I admit that the first section, as her parents become more ultra-Orthodox and then she does as well, were interesting and informative. I especially appreciated her descriptions of how, as a child, she feared the punishment God would inflict if she violated Hasidic norms; then later, as an adult, that she feared how the community’s disapproval and censure would ruin her children’s chances for a good shidduch (marriage match). Unfortunately I didn’t think she did a convincing job of explaining how, if, and to what degree her opinion of the community changed as she overcame those fears. It has nothing to do with my review, but I found it fascinating the many 0-star Amazon reviews from ultra-Orthodox readers who reviled the book mercilessly. I would have thought that community would be forbidden to read such a book, never mind using a computer and going on Amazon.
March 10, 2023
I feel bad writing a bad review, but seriously don’t waste your time. The first 2/3rds is about her life in the Jewish community. Unless you know Hebrew, it was very confusing and overly detailed to the point where it drags on and on but still was okay, I guess.
The last 1/3 of the book almost sounds like a completely different author. The editing went from bad to worse (if there was any at all) in the sense that whole sentences are repeated and some sentences didn’t even have punctuation. It switches to her starting her shoe company and the tone of the writing makes you rethink any sympathy you had for everything she went through earlier in life. All of a sudden every person she meets according to her is obsessed with her and wants to have sex with her. It’s very detailed about her sex life and her poor business relationships that she doesn’t take any accountability for but is constantly blaming on other people. She also is always worried about her company not having any money yet is flying off to Europe and going to parties every weekend and dropping thousands of dollars on one meal and booking suites at the nicest hotels in the cities… her being so vain and lacking any humility by the end really cemented the 1 star review for me.
The last 1/3 of the book almost sounds like a completely different author. The editing went from bad to worse (if there was any at all) in the sense that whole sentences are repeated and some sentences didn’t even have punctuation. It switches to her starting her shoe company and the tone of the writing makes you rethink any sympathy you had for everything she went through earlier in life. All of a sudden every person she meets according to her is obsessed with her and wants to have sex with her. It’s very detailed about her sex life and her poor business relationships that she doesn’t take any accountability for but is constantly blaming on other people. She also is always worried about her company not having any money yet is flying off to Europe and going to parties every weekend and dropping thousands of dollars on one meal and booking suites at the nicest hotels in the cities… her being so vain and lacking any humility by the end really cemented the 1 star review for me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 3, 2023
I want to start by saying I found this book incredibly interesting.
The first 2/3 of this book are incredible. A solid 5/5 stars. Her story of living an orthodox Jewish life left me with my jaw on the floor. I had no idea about all the rules that fundamentalist Jews had to follow and to be honest it completely blew my mind.
The fact that she managed to leave that life and make something of herself is truly inspirational.
HOWEVER..... the last 1/3 of the book I hated! It took me SOOO long to finish.
Throughout the book, the writing isn't brilliant but you learn to put up with it because the story is insane. But once she leaves the community (in my opinion) the story gets a bit boring. It also seemed a little bit too coincidental. I really wish she had done maybe 2 chapters of her life once she left rather than all the unnecessary details.
Overall I'm giving this book a 3.5-4 stars and rounding up because I loved the start so much.
The first 2/3 of this book are incredible. A solid 5/5 stars. Her story of living an orthodox Jewish life left me with my jaw on the floor. I had no idea about all the rules that fundamentalist Jews had to follow and to be honest it completely blew my mind.
The fact that she managed to leave that life and make something of herself is truly inspirational.
HOWEVER..... the last 1/3 of the book I hated! It took me SOOO long to finish.
Throughout the book, the writing isn't brilliant but you learn to put up with it because the story is insane. But once she leaves the community (in my opinion) the story gets a bit boring. It also seemed a little bit too coincidental. I really wish she had done maybe 2 chapters of her life once she left rather than all the unnecessary details.
Overall I'm giving this book a 3.5-4 stars and rounding up because I loved the start so much.
April 6, 2023
This book started out great. I’m pretty interested in learning about the fundamentalist culture she grew up in and I was captivated by Julia’s story.
However, midway it took a huge dive. It became repetitive and wishy-washy. I mean, did all of this REALLY happen? And if so, do I trust your perspective as truth? No.
The last half is filled with sensational stories where she is wanted by many men, fought over and living out sexual fantasies. I think I would have enjoyed one or two of those stories…not back to back to back to back trysts.
I hear this book was heavily edited when it comes to length. I wonder if that’s why it didn’t come together well.
However, midway it took a huge dive. It became repetitive and wishy-washy. I mean, did all of this REALLY happen? And if so, do I trust your perspective as truth? No.
The last half is filled with sensational stories where she is wanted by many men, fought over and living out sexual fantasies. I think I would have enjoyed one or two of those stories…not back to back to back to back trysts.
I hear this book was heavily edited when it comes to length. I wonder if that’s why it didn’t come together well.
February 4, 2023
(2.75) Julia Haart is resilient and her journey to independence is incredible. I came to this book through her My Unorthodox Life series and while the text expounded more throughly on her life story the writing was….cringey. It felt like she wrote in definitives, every moment was life changing, and an overuse of the descriptors “very” and “really”. In all honestly, I think the book could have been edited down and shortened to 2/3rds of the length (or less) and the audience would still have received a whole picture.
March 25, 2023
At a certain point I was just continuing to read to see how many more times she’d write that she was AMAZING at something, or that yet more people were obsessed with her. I do enjoy a leaving-the-cult memoir but this isn’t the goods.
March 11, 2023
Couldn’t finish, not worth your time.
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