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320 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1963
"Behind the impenetrable curtain of the right-wing uniform I can hide forever the soul of an easily wounded young man. I am no longer ashamed, no longer hurt by the eyes of others. And gradually this sensation grows, to the point where, even when I don't wear the uniform, even when I'm naked, the eyes of others have lost the power to hurt me with shame."
The tender, weak, vulnerable, unshapely creature inside is invisible to others. When people looked at me before, I’d blush in fright. I was captured by a timorous, miserable self-loathing. I was bound hand and foot by self-consciousness. But now, instead of seeing what’s inside me, others see the uniform of the Right. More than that, it instills them with fear.
Seventeen and J allowed me to see a different, younger Kenzaburō Ōe from the more mature writer of A Personal Matter. Both novellas point to the struggle of identity and conformity and wanting to fit in a group or society when that means rejecting your individual self or hiding your unacceptable inclinations. There is safety in belonging to a group or espousing certain dogmas or beliefs but it may never be enough to completely annihilate your individuality and personal failings so the devotion needs to be taken to the extreme. In any case, this transformation is never guaranteed and there is always the possibility of the facade breaking down and being exposed.