Whisper

by Tal Bauer, John Solo (Narrator)

Length: Length: 25 hrs and 55 mins

The truth is complicated.

On September 11th, 2001, Kris Caldera was a junior member of the CIA’s Alec Station, the unit dedicated to finding and stopping Osama Bin Laden. They failed.

Ten days later, he was on the ground in Afghanistan with a Special Forces team, driven to avenge the ghosts that haunted him and the nation he’d let down. On the battlefield, he meets Special Forces Sergeant David Haddad. David – Arab American, Muslim, and gay – becomes the man Kris loves, the man he lives for, and the man he kills for, through the long years of the raging wars.

David Haddad thought he’d be an outsider his whole life. Too American for the Middle East, too Arab for America, and too gay to be Muslim. It took Kris to bring the parts of himself together, to make him the man he’d always wanted to be. But the War on Terror wreaks havoc on David’s soul, threatening to shatter the fragile peace he’s finally found with Kris.

When a botched mission rips David from Kris’s life, Kris’s world falls into ruin and ash. A shell of the man who once loved with the strength to shake both the CIA and the world, he marks time on the edges of his life. The days bleed together, meaningless after losing the love of his life.

After being captured, tortured to the edge of his life, and left for dead by his comrades, David doesn’t know how much of himself is left. He vanished one day in the tribal belt of Pakistan, and the man who walks out almost a decade later is someone new: Al Dakhil Al-Khorasani.

But strange rumblings are whispering through the CIA. Intelligence from multiple sources overseas points to something new. Something deadly, and moving to strike the United States. Intercepts say an army from Khorasan, the land of the dead where the Apocalypse of Islam will rise, is coming.

And, at the head of this army, a shadowy figure the US hasn’t seen before: Al Dakhil Al-Khorasani.

David is coming home.

Genres: M M Romance, Military Fiction, Romance, Contemporary, Suspense, Audiobook, LGBT

Audible Audio

First published April 26, 2018

About the author

Tal Bauer writes breathtaking, heartfelt, and often action-packed gay romance novels. His characters are head over heels for each other and fight against all odds for their happy ending. Nothing stands in the way of love. Tal is best known for his romantic suspense novels, including the Executive Office series, The Murder Between Us, The Grave Between Us, The Night of, and his MM sports romance, The Jock.

Website - www.talbauerwrites.com
Amazon Author - http://amazon.com/author/talbauer
Instagram - @TalBauerWrites
Newsletter - https://mailchi.mp/f1fd8baec198/talba...

Reviews

[Sophia Triad · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whisper my name, and I will always be there.

The last 4-5 days I have been living and breathing inside Whisper. It is an overwhelming book. It is a strong book. It is a long book. I did a bit of research myself while I was reading it, because some events were strongly described and apparently they DID happen.

You need to invest a lot of your time when you start this book, but it is worth it.
It is a book about religion, blind faith, prophecies, holly wars, spiritual healing and peace. But mostly it is a book about LOVE. And when a book talks about love so strongly, I am game.

If I set my heart on anything but you
let fire burn me from inside.
Oh Beloved,
take away what I want.
Take away what I do.
Take away what I need.
Take away everything
that takes me from you.
Rumi

If you have read Hush, you most probably remember and have liked (Captain America's LOL) Mike’s sassy friend Kris with the tragic lovestory with the tragic ending who was pushing Mike in order to pursue happiness.
I was not sure that I wanted to learn what happened between Kris and his husband. Surprisingly (yes I know), I don't like sad endings. I just wanted and hoped that Kris would find the perfect replacement for this part of his heart that was gone. And that he would be finally happy with the perfect man.
So, when Whisper starts with the actual story of Kris and the true and only love of his life David from the actual beginning in 2001, I was thinking “Oh my God, where did I get myself into? This book will burn me alive and consume me and take my breath away and make me cry. I don't want to cry. Can we just get to the nice stuff, when Kris falls in love again and forever and ever? And this happens in 2018 preferably?!? I don’t want to know what happened in 2001.”

Haddad grinned. “I’m just the team medic. It’s a good thing I already knew Arabic. You can’t teach this dog any new tricks.”
Something curled through Kris’s veins, a familiar warmth. “Oh, I’m not sure about that.” He winked, his flirty nature naturally rising—

Damn it! Ok, fine! I will read it!

As a result I have spent the last few days up in the mountains of Afghanistan with Kris and David. I felt their fear, their hunger, their desperation and their determination. I saw them seeking for comfort and warmth sleeping together at night. I saw them falling in love.

Out of everyone in the room, David burned the brightest, laughed the loudest, transfixed Kris in ways he couldn’t describe. He almost couldn’t breathe, watching David. The thin air of Kabul seemed too weak, too light, to contain all that David was.

Then I saw them in Pakistan, in Iraq, in USA trying to convince everyone that they are allowed to be married and happy together.
I felt their pain when they failed, I felt their pain when they stopped believing in happy endings.

This is a very very long book obviously. If you don't pay attention, you may be lost.

The book can vaguely be distinguished in three main parts in the war zones. Between these parts Kris and David will have moments of peace back in USA:
1. Kris and David chasing the Bin Laden in Afghanistan and Pakistan
2. Kris and David following the war in Iraq
3. Kris and David being back in Afghanistan

After that, the action will shift to USA for Kris and to Pakistan Northwestern Frontier for David. They will now have different roles and different perspectives under the same moon, but not under the same sky.

Also three are the main critical turning points for the relationship between Kris and David:
1. Kris meets David
2. Kris loses David
3. David finds Kris

So this is the story of Kris in CIA: How a scrawny gay kid from Puerto Rico managed to be an American hero, how his actions or the lack of actions affected the future of a blood-bathing vicious war, how he rose above other people expectations, how he rose above his own expectations and changed the objectives and the views of a war, how he fell in love and matured and was broken and how he managed to put himself back again.
But it is also the story of David: how a Muslim boy from Libya forgot his roots, how he tried to hide his feelings and beliefs, how he tried to hide from his true self, how he survived being lost in the middle of two different civilizations, how the love of a man made him remember.

A lot of people are going to die for this, and if they die for lies, then what are they dying for?

The story is spanned in more than 15 years. The two lovers will need to have separate ways and be apart for so long! If you have read the blurb carefully , you will notice that David did not die. He was reborn. It is not easy to re-create and re-live such an epic love. Of course there would be only one man for Kris.

I believe that the author can create the strongest images with his perfect descriptions:
The wars are as ruthless and as unforgiving as I have imagined it.
The people involved in these wars are as broken and as confused as I have guessed they would be.
The bond of these two men bursts feelings. Affection, desire, lust, adoration, passion, sacrifice.

(I need to open a parenthesis here and tell you a bit about how I have experienced the last 18 years.
To be honest, I didn't really care much about politics or what was happening in the world in the beginning of this new millennium. I was young and carefree and a student in Newcastle, UK. I remember that when the buildings collapsed on 9/11, I was at the common computers room at the university and a friend was watching this live on the internet. I actually watched silently and live the second airplane crashing and the buildings falling and I did not know what I was seeing. I thought that it was the advertisement for a new blockbuster film and in the next few seconds Brush Willis would run from the debris, the dust and the smoke holding a puppy and two babies in his arms shouting “Take them and I am going back in. I need to save the cheerleaders.”
Of course when I realised my ignorance, I cried.
The same way, I cry when I watch the news nowadays and
...I see refugees drowning trying to cross the Mediterranean sea,
...I see children drowning before they reach Lesvos and Kos,
...I see children unable to breathe after the chemical attack in Syria,
...I see children being shot in schools and in concerts and in the cinemas in the USA and UK
...I see the bomb attacks in Paris and in Istanbul
...I see young people full of dreams being shot like animals in the summer camp in Norway
...I see cars crashing into helpless tourists
...I see despair, blood, bombs, deaths and suffering

Where had everything gone wrong?

You can say that I have become more sensitive recently and I know now what is going on around me. Maybe because I matured. Maybe because my father died and I became a mother. Now every time I see a person tortured or die, I think of his/her mother for some reason. And I also think of the mothers of the suicide bombers and terrorists. How do these women feel about the actions of their children?

“...everyone points the finger at each other, saying everyone else is the evil one. Where is the truth?”
“The truth is complicated.”

There is a fragile equilibrium among most of the countries during the last years. We live without thinking much of what is going on around us. Most of us operate on automatic pilot. We live, we work, we love or not love in our own little small universe.

During the last 4-5 years, I have divided my time between United Arab Emirates and Greece. I have basically raised my two young children in Abu Dhabi. I feel safe for my family here. I actually feel that this is the safest place on earth for the time being – although we are based in the middle of the storm. It is so weird. There is war and bombings all around in the middle East and here there is peace and quiet and safety. I can walk at 3 in the morning holding my two children and I know that nobody will attack me in the street. I know that if my forget my bag somewhere, it will be still there when I return. I know that when my son plays hide and seek with his friend here outside, he will not disappear for ever. And the relationships between people are nice. My children go to an international school. My son's teacher is from Iraq, while his teacher last year was from Lebanon. My daughter's teacher is from Ireland, while her teacher last year was from Singapore. My son's girlfriend (they are 5 y.o. and yes they are cute!) is from Mexico and his best friend is from Jordan. My daughter's boyfriend's name is Mohammed and he was born and raised in Ireland (they are 7 y.o. and yes they are cute!) and her best friend is from Turkey.
I feel so happy and blessed that my children grow up in such a multinational environment. I have lived something similar only when I was studying in UK.
But still after we have a couple of glasses of wine with my husband and we start talking about the future, I sometimes ask him half-seriously and half-jokingly “In case we need to run, besides the children, our passports and some money, what else do we need to get with us?”.
What I am trying to say is that although I feel safe, I am still scared.
And this is the end of this very long parenthesis. )


Back to the book...
Well, it is not easy to write my thoughts and feelings in just one page for a book that took 6 months for the author to research and write it and it is more than 900 pages long. I don't think I can do the book justice.

The author has amazingly woven together true historical recent facts and events, conspiracy theories and fiction. But the central piece of all these is an incredible lovestory.

All the parts of David, all the pieces that made him the man Kris loved, were tumbling within him, slipping inside of his soul. Vows of love in Arabic and English, prayers to Allah, Kris’s name, the name of his lover, a man. David shuddered, his body quaking in Kris’s arms. Who was David when he bared everything?
“Habib albi,” Kris breathed. “Enta habibi.” Love of my heart. You are my love.
David pulled back. Their eyes met. “Ya rouhi,” David whispered. My soul.
Kris kissed him. Their bodies were still joined. David still filled him, body and soul. “You are my soul, too.”

I hope that you give this book a chance.

[Simone - on indefinite hiatus - · Rating 5 out of 5]

***5+++++ Stars***

How the hell can I summarize a book that consists of 951 pages in just a few words? Well, that's pretty simple... I can't.

And I'm still feeling too raw, too emotionally overwhelmed, to even try... For me, this story was pretty epic in any and every possible way - umm, aside from the length, obviously.

So, let's just say that I'm in awe of the research and the lifeblood Tal Bauer has put into this story. Of the accuracy of historical facts and the way he wove the life of his fictional characters into it and based it on true events without adding an overly much invented storyline. Of the way he portrayed and gave insight into the true faith of Muslims, into the inner turmoil of the characters about doing the right thing and therefore was able to convey a certain message. Of the still raw memories he conjured about September 11th and the consequences that tragedy brought up and shook not only a nation, but the whole world to its very foundations. Of the adrenaline-high this story gave me (especially during the last 15%) and made me inhale this monster of a book within five days.

But most of all it had been the bittersweet and heartbreakingly beautiful love story between Kris and Dawood that got to me, even if it took some time to develop and gain center stage.

"Kris, my love. My soul. We were united before time, made for each other. We will never part, not in this life or the next. Wherever I am, I will always be yours. I swear it."



"Our souls will always find each other."

After the slight disappointment Hush was to me, this book here was everything. It captivated me from the beginning and wouldn't let me go until the very last page. I'm sure this is one of those books that will stick with me for a very long time.

This was intended to be a buddy read between Anne, Christelle and me, with Josy as a 'side-reader', initiated by a fangirling Anne, a pressed-for-time Christelle and a reluctant-because-of-the-length Simone and ended up with Josy and me as the lone survivors and Christelle and Anne as our stalkers, supported by Shile. Thank you ladies and especially you, Josy, for reading this with me until the end and for holding my hand. ❤️

[Eugenia · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Best Book of the Year!************* I’m still reeling after finishing this book, finding the wherewithal to write a worthy review. This book, it’s words and images, won’t leave my thoughts; I’m not sure I want it to. It deserves to be remembered.

This was an epic masterpiece on a scale I’ve not read from Tal Bauer before. This book stands solidly as a political thriller, as a romance, as a retelling of the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks on US soil. Most of all, it stands solidly as a tour de force, regardless of genre.

Many of us remember exactly what we we doing when the planes crashed into the twin towers of the World Trade Center in New York. That’s exactly where this book begins it’s worthy tale.

Bauer takes use through the scramble and horror of the attacks from the perspective of a junior CIA analyst, Kris Caldera, assigned to the Afghanistan desk. We follow him in the aftermath of the attacks to Afghanistan, to begin the search for Bin Laden, which history tells us is fruitless for many years to come.

The scope of research that Bauer mastered to write this book renders me speechless. Not only did he dig into the inner sanctum of the CIA post 9/11 both in the US and in the Middle East, but he had to familiarize himself with the myriad of cultures and languages present in the occupied and allied countries: Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq. Knowing these countries and cultures also meant a deep knowledge of Islam and the Muslim point of view. And of the jihadists’ point of view—a mangled version of the love found in the Quran.

Tal Bauer finds glory and beauty in a land twisted by civil war and broken promises. Much of this beauty comes from the relationship between Kris and David Haddad, a Special Forces medic entrenched with the CIA. Both are outsiders in the US and at home. Both are brown and gay. David was Libyan born, and US raised. Together they try to make sense of the death, hate, and pain. Together they find love; and together they find betrayal.

I fell in love with Kris and David. Kris strove to prove himself, always to those who believed he was less than able because he was gay. Prove himself, he did, but with disastrous consequences. David, was a pieced together kaleidoscope of a man (as he often refers to himself): Arab, Muslim, Gay. These were parts he denied himself until he found himself in Afghanistan, until he found Kris. Out of all the characters, he has the largest arc over the 17 years the book covers. His arc, his end, is one I couldn’t fathom until the very end of the book. That, in itself, is beauty in literature.

“I’m afraid I’ll get lost in this war.” His eyes were black holes, and the burning edge of his soul peeked out, just barely. Like the shadow of a crescent moon, or a whisper against Kris’s skin.
“I think the whole world is going to get lost in this war.”

Was this book a romance? Yes, one for the ages. The feelings expressed, the words said transcended the earthly plane for me. For as David states,

“The Quran says all souls were created in pairs. One soul, one life, that was meant for two people. In this world, we’re supposed to find the other half of our souls and join together with them. Rejoin, and find the house of peace that we once knew before time.” David moved closer. “I feel that with you. I always have. From the moment we met, it’s been like I’ve known you for forever. Like everything in me is supposed to belong to everything in you.”

Was this book a thriller? Definitely. Even though we know how much of this war on terror played out superficially, most of us didn’t/don’t know the inner working, the reasoning behind it all. Bauer bases much of his story on facts and actual individuals. He moves out of history into fiction nearing the end of the book.

Moreover, this is a treatise on war and hatred. On misunderstanding:

Where did it all end? How? Had the paths of history become so hopelessly entangled that there was no end? Just a ceaseless cycle of violence and death, killer and murdered always trading places? Where was reason? Where was justice?

For all the horror of war, of extremism, of pain and betrayal, what stood out to me front and center was beauty and love. I saw this not only in Kris and David, but also in the millions of Muslims who follow the words of the Quran in their hearts; and not the twisted verses used by those who wish to destroy much of our world.

This book is not to be taken lightly, but it’s also one you shouldn’t shy away from. It truly is remarkable. I applaud you, Tal Bauer. Well done, you have captured part of my heart.

[Christelle · Rating 1 out of 5]

**edit**
For fans of spy/military fiction. As I’m not, this one was way too much for me.

I like trying to read something different from my usual favorite tropes (it sometimes works and when it does, I’m the first one to rejoice about it) but here, nothing to hold my attention.
Off-page romance (OK, as it’s not a romance, I can’t hold a grudge), a few political points that could have been interesting for me (After all, I enjoyed “The Looming Tower” or the first seasons of “Homeland”) but were only brushed off, to my utmost frustration.
I admit : great details about fuel’s quality for helicopters or lengthy descriptions of battle fields distracted me instead of entertained me. As I said, not a fan of action and spy/military fiction !


----------------------------------------
When reading Hush, one character stood out : Kris and of course, I wanted to read about him. When the release of whisper was announced (not yet any blurb nor page count at that time…951 pages), I blindly dived in as soon as this book was out.

I stopped at 50% (400 pages) because, even though all the topics addressed in this book are interesting and the writing top notch, I needed a break with a full on-page romance, because currently, that’s what I’m looking for when reading fiction. I will pick-up this book later.

[Chelsea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Holy fuck it’s finally over, and I can feel happiness again.
GOD DAMN. 😭😭😭😭

Kris was just such a silly lil goose side character in Whisper, I couldn't wait to meet him.......
HOLY FUCK MY BOY IS TRAUMATISED, AND NOW, SO AM I.

This was straight up FUCKING ROUGH.
I was was not expecting to be so physically reactive to some of the fucked up things and themes that happen in this book.

This is not a silly lil goose time, which I didn't expect it to be, but I still assumed Kris's vivacious personality would still shine through, but it kinda didn't in my opinion. I did love this, but holy fuck it was sooooooooooooo easy to forget that you were reading a book with queer characters, and not just a straight up war book sometimes.
Especially because book 1 was completely different vibes.

This is 17 hours straight of ON-PAGE WAR, WAR TACTICS, WAR DISCUSSIONS, CIA NONSENSE, MISSION PLANNING, TORTURE SCENES THAT WILL MAKE YOU FUCKING SICK TO YOUR STOMACH, 9/11, RACISM RACISM RACISM, HOMOPHOBIA, RELIGION, RELIGIOUS SLANDER, RELIGIOUS TRAUMA, AMERICAN BS POLITICS, WAR, MORE WAR, BOMBINGS, 9/11 SOME MROE, TRAUMA, WAR...... BLEUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Followed by 9 hours of more of the above, PLUS some additional time on page with our MC's for 10 mins (finally!) and then the final 25% is pure action/chaos/love WHICH IS FUCKING INSANELY HECTIC but at least we get some on time pages with both our MC's.

The ending slapped.
I didn't approve of the bad guy, that was dumb.
As good and different and interesting as it was, holy fuck, this book was straight up TOO LONG. I'm sorry but 26 hours????? R U KIDDING ME

This was incredible, but I’m Le tired 😴

[Dia · Rating 5 out of 5]

All the stars! And the moon... their messenger.

"Every night, I whispered to the moon. As if it could take my messages straight to you. Every night, I thought of you. Told you what happened during my day. Gave you my prayers. I thought you were with Allah and that you could hear me. I thought the moon was our messenger."

"If I set my heart on anything but you
let fire burn me from inside.
Oh Beloved,
Take away what I want.
Take away what I do.
Take away what I need.
Take away everyhting
that takes me from you."

I can't express in words how much I ADORED this story! There are no words good enough. It's hard to try to put into words how much sorrow this book brought me, sadness, despair, but also hope. It's strange, I know, but I am still a mess hours after finishing it.

I've started reading this book almost a year ago. I've read some enthusiastic reviews and got curious. I've read a few chapters and at first I thought it was not my cup of tea. Many details about 9/11, a lot of descriptions and missions and I just wanted more romance. When I got to the middle of the book, somehow I couldn't understand why everyone loved it but me. Months later I came black to it and read only a few chapters. Unfortunately I stopped right when things started to speed up. Silly me! I should have continued reading! I had NO idea what I was missing out.

You get from the blurb that David Haddad is ripped from Kris's life and even if you expect the pain, let me tell you I was NOT prepared for the excruciating pain it caused me. The writing is that good and makes you want to hug Kris and tell him time will heal his wounds, that everything will be fine in the end. My heart broke over and over again while reading about Kris's struggles to make peace with losing David. Well even if we know David isn't dead (not a spoiler, it's in the blurb) it's still hard to witness the pain and what Kris became after losing him.

I highlighted SO much and couldn't get enough of these extraordinary characters. Apart they were broken. Incomplete. Lost.

I am NOT a fan of stories that span over many years, but here it really worked for me. Together or apart, these characters really won my heart. I ached for both of them.
This author surely knows how to evoke strong emotions. I was a mess while reading the last chapters. The action kept me on the edge of my seat and the suspense was amazing.

Isn't it crazy how I've read the first half of the book over many months and then finished the second half in one night?! I really need to mention I've slept only a couple of hours last night because I just couldn't put it down and go to sleep not knowing how Kris and David/Dawood found their so much needed peace and happiness.

It's been a long time since I lost a night's sleep on a book. But this one kept me glued to the pages!!!

This is a super long book, 950+ pages. And for me the first half was a hard battle I almost lost. But I am SO glad I didn't give up. In the end it was SO worth it!!

I strongly recommend to read the Author's Note at the end. He mentioned the books he read during writing this one and I was in awe of his attention to details, the way he wanted and succeeded to place his characters in a true setting. Everything felt so real. It was like I was right there with the characters in the middle of the batter field, smelling the dust, hearing the shots and screams, watching the blast of the bomb that separated our main characters. And what a painful, heart wrenching turn of events.

I bow my head before this author's talent. I can't believe how much me made me FEEL the character's pain and how much it hurt to see the injustice!

"You're like a part of me I didn't know was missing. Part of my mind, or my soul. Like you have the thoughts I haven't thought yet, feelings I haven't felt yet, waiting for me. Inside you. You feel like a part of me I've been craving."

This is without any doubt one of the best books I've ever read. Deep and sweet, sad but also full of hope. Perfect in my eyes. So it gets ALL THE STARS from me!

[Literatures Movies · Rating 3 out of 5]

For I have tried, and failed.

I wanted so bad to like this book, but it proves to be harder than I thought it to be.

This book is very educational for someone like me, who has no clue whatsoever to the US history and the details of 9/11. However, it sometimes feels a tad bit too educational. So much so that it started to feel as if I was in a non-ending history lesson rather than reading a love story between two characters.

This is definitely a heavy case of it's-me-not-you.

I love romance. I adore romance. I live and breathe romance.

The books I read, almost all of them have romance as their main driving force. In this book though, it feels like the romance took the backseat and the history and the war took the limelight.

Which is fine, of course. But it is just not my kind of read.



I wanted to love this book so bad. But it ended up being too lengthy and too detailed for my taste.

*whispers* I can't really connect with the MCs either. They seem very bland.

*runs away and hide in the cave of shame*



------------------------------------------------

Pre-reading :

You know which bitch was just complaining that she needs more angst?



Yes. This is she.

And after reading some of the lovely reviews here, I have decided this book might probably have enough angst to choke me for life.

So of course I'm gonna take the front seat on this one.

I'm jumping in ladies and gents. Wish me luck.



---------------------------

I know this book is long as fuck

But I have been seeing this book repetitively since yesterday. For some reason it keeps popping up in my feed.

Therefore I have decided that it must be fate. Me and book are meant to meet. Therefore, book is meant to be read by me.


Blog : I write reviews on my blog too! Click here for more of my review :D

[Teal]

Time for a reality check.

Q: Am I enjoying this book?
A: No.

Q: Is there any reason to expect I'll start enjoying it if I read further?
A: No.

Q: Have I ever enjoyed any of the books I've read by this author?
A: No.

Q: Does the fact that I really, really wish I could enjoy it make it any more likely that I will, in fact, enjoy it?
A: No.

Well, duh. DNF @ 14%, with note to self: No more Tal Bauer.

[haletostilinski · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 very solid stars!



“Ya rouhi,” he whispered. “You are the moon in my darkness, habibi. Always.”

“You are my love, my light, my guiding star.”

Wow. What a journey this book took me on. Not only of everything after 9/11 and the war and everything, but David and Kris' life together.

About 60% or so of this book is in the past, starting from 9/11, 2001, to skipping a few months then years after David "died" until we're in the present.

I thought, at first, that it was slow. And ultimately I took off .5 because while I ended up appreciating and loving all the build up, all the necessary information that was needed, the build up of David and Kris' love story, while first reading it, it was a little sluggish, it was little hard to get through at times, and David and Kris' romance wasn't quite at the forefront, which made it harder at times to tune into the pages, to keep reading.

But then...but then, I didn't give up, and then I just got sucked into this story completely. It was like a slow moving train all the sudden speeding up super fast for me. It felt like the story was building up and building up and building up, brick by brick, setting up everything and delving in deep to the "War on Terror" and David and Kris' love story.

But then at some point it just became a "omg gotta read the next page, gotta keep going, gotta know what happens next, oMG when is the chapter where David "dies" gonna happen? When are we gonna get back to the present? oMG" and then once we DO get to the present it's like a mad race to the finish, something I couldn't put down.

I mean, 951 pages...I suspected that a lot of it would be slow going, would be a little bit boring at times - because the ins and outs of politics, of the way the CIA and other government places work, the jargon that goes on in war, it's a lot to take while you're reading sometimes, and gets kind of like "okay I don't really care about what the camps are called and all the officers and special forces and FBI and and and...and all these names you have to keep straight and remember who is who, what is what" kind of feeling.

But then you take in everything you read, at least I did, and then it became a "what is gonna happen next!" feeling.

I was bummed that the heat in this was pretty minimal. Not a lot of description - although one slightly more descriptive sex scene does happen - but also like, at one point vague descriptions of Kris with others (only happened once, really, and maybe a half? I dunno) after David is "dead" were even a little more detailed than Kris and David's prior sex scenes and I was like affronted and like "where is my detailed sex scene of Kris and David? *pout*" but it does happen, and really all the scenes before are beautifully described, just vague.

And like, I get how a good portion of this wasn't focused so heavily on David and Kris, because 1) not a lot of time for that in the war, and It kind of would be out of place to have one scene where drone strikes happened and the next they're having passionate sex, but still haha - and 2) everything in the past felt like it was all leading to the present and wasn't the biggest part of the story, the most important, so I get that the focus David and Kris' wasn't a crazy amount until the present.

But still, it took me awhile to love these two together - not that they were bad or anything, just that the book at first focuses so heavily on the war and not as much on the romance that there wasn't a lot of build up at first. I mean, there was, but it wasn't the main focus so it wasn't getting that connection to them.

But then, over time, their interactions started to come together, started to pile on and the slow burn got to the point where I was all in. By the time it was focused a pretty good amount on them, I was rooting for them so hard, I was pissed at other characters who tried to get between them (It's been 9 years since David "died" and Kris is considering finally trying to move on and be happy. And I was like "NOOOO David's ALIVE! NO moving on!" lol. Don't worry though, it's good).

I will say that I learned a ton more about the Afghan/Iraq wars then I ever knew before in this novel. At the end there's an author's note from Tal that says that for a lot of the novel, all the events/circumstances etc, were real and did happen (but obviously our fictional characters are in the place of RL people) and described what was real that he included in this novel, which is crazy. Romance and gaining some knowledge at the same time, is always great.

Very little Mike and Tom in this story - probably because over half is dedicated to before Kris met Mike, and then the rest is full speed ahead, shit is happening kind of deal. Although we do see them for a smidge at some point.

Crazy awesome shit happens at the end - in true Tal Bauer style ;) - and it's exciting and crazy and *gasp* inducing as you'll see in my updates. So, slow beginning, but if you keep going with it, it gets super interesting and then a little devastating (had to hold back tears when David "died" and didn't always succeed in that) and then crazy exciting and OMG like.

I was like mad at David, then mad at Kris, then like mad at others and then just so damn happy David was back and a happy ending does happen, and its glorious and so SO earned. And also by that point at the end of the book I was grinning like a loon because Kris and David had settled into my heart, and over these 951 pages I grew to love these two characters, together and apart.

There was no one else for either of them, and even though Kris found comfort in bodies years after David died, it was never love, it was just sex, just something to make him feel again. David is the only man he ever loved, and it was so obvious when David was around. Kris and David had a deep love, the kind of love that Tal is an expert at writing (LOVE how deeply and passionately Tal's MC's always love each other. It's wonderful.), the kind of love that lasts a lifetime.

Like, Kris considered moving on, but he never really would have. He could have been okay, maybe even happy, but not as happy as he was with David.

And I just...before reading this Kris was just Mike's best bud who slept around and who had a dead husband and would never love again, is what he said in Mike's book. And he was wonderful in that book and I just wanted him to be happy again. And in this book we get much more of Kris, of his story and his life, and his love for David and how deep and consuming it was. How that loss affected him.

There's a LOT of angst for these two, no doubt about it. But it's worth it, to read their journey. To read how they go from where they start out on September 11, 2001, to where they get to in the present day.

What an amazing book, what a wonderful read, what a crazy journey, and what an awesome couple.

Just when I thought this one would become a miss (because of that slow beginning), it became an amazing book, another favorite, another amazingly written book by Tal Bauer.

Bravo, truly. I LOVED this. Highly, HIGHLY recommend. Even if you're unsure because of the war stuff (and I get it, there is a LOT of it in this. There's no escaping it till the end), it's still worth it to read this, because the journey this book takes you on is an awesome and crazy one, and sooo worth it in the end.

[Renée]

ETA: I would really love to have a conversation or three with Tal one day. I'd love to pick his brain on the current political climate in the US and where he thinks we go from here.

Soooooo........

I'm tapping out, folks.

Not because the writing isn't stellar. It really is. As usual from this author.

The subject matter is intriguing. It's moderately interesting to me, but not interesting enough for 11,500+ Kindle locations.

And organized religion and me aren't on good terms, so any book heavy on the religious themes is not usually a win for me.

This is all my tastes, though.

Too much war in the middle east and religion, for me, but if those things interest you in your MM romance, you will love this a lot.

Bauer can definitely tell a story.

And I'll hide in the corner now for DNF'ing a Tal Bauer book.

[BookSafety Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book safety, content warnings, and tropes down below.

“The Quran says all souls were created in pairs. One soul, one life, that was meant for two people. In this world, we’re supposed to find the other half of our souls and join together with them. Rejoin, and find the house of peace that we once knew before time.” David moved closer. “I feel that with you. I always have. From the moment we met, it’s been like I’ve known you for forever. Like everything in me is supposed to belong to everything in you.”

How the hell is someone supposed to review this book? I legitimately don’t feel intelligent enough to say a word about it. The work that must have gone into the book is enormous, and having the guts to write it is… well, only Tal Bauer could.

I don’t think I have ever felt so sad and angry while reading a book before. I was raging and crying my eyes out nearly throughout the entire book (and it’s a long-ass book). Today my eyes are swollen and feel like sandpaper. #worthit

I was born in the late 90s in Norway, so to say that this book was a bit of a history lesson is an understatement. I learned so much from this, about the horrific 9/11 attacks, about nearly everything that came after as a result, and about so many beautiful parts of muslim culture and faith.

The book is very much concentrated on ‘the war on terror’, and the way it is set up, you really get the sense that there aren’t any ‘strict’ heros and villains. Everyone is capable of heroic and villainous actions when pushed. There is no one person to blame.

Kris and David/Dawood are incredibly special characters. Their story is epic and rough, and you’ll probably spend a good part of the book wondering how the hell it could ever end happily. I was happy for them, I cried for them, I raged at them and experienced just about every emotion under the sun throughout the book. It is not a strict romance book, but the romance is beautiful.

A thousand million stars in the sky would not be enough to count the ways I love you. Or grains of sand on the beach, even if you split every grain in half.

It’s not going to leave you feeling good in any way probably, but there’s a happy ending, and I think anyone and everyone (who feel comfortable doing so) should read it. What a damn masterpiece.

“I have heard American promises before. In shaa Allah, you are different, this time. You are either the answer to our prayers or the last trick of the devil.”

⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️

⚠️ Tropes & tags ⚠️
Action & suspense
(Unconventional) second chance
Religious MC
Historical romantic thriller (2001-)
CIA agents
BIPOC characters
Political thriller
Special forces soldier
Size difference

⚠️ Content warning ⚠️
⚠️ Will contain massive plot spoilers ⚠️

Assumed death of a main character
Gun violence
Graphic violence
Sexual content (not very explicit)
Details of the 9/11 attacks
Themes of terrorism
Homophobia
Discrimination (skin color, socioeconomic status and sexuality)
Heavy religious themes
Workplace harassment
Heavy themes of invasion and war
Vomiting
Intense feelings of guilt
Nightmares and anxiety attacks
Bombings
Mentions of homosexuality being criminalized
On-page killing
Islamic radicalism
Violent extremism
Torture of a side character (on page)
Death and resuscitation (SC and MC)
Execution of a parent (detailed, past)
Mentions of suicide bombings
Crisis of faith
Severely injured MCs
Grief
Social ostracism
Death of side characters
Rape kit performed to confirm DNA (no SA)
Moments of wishing for death
Hospitalized MC
Gunshot wound
Unsafe sex

⚠️Book safety ⚠️
⚠️ Will contain massive plot spoilers ⚠️

Cheating: No
Breakup: No
Other person drama: Dan, a friend and coworker of Kris, has been in love with him for years. Four years after David (Kris’ husband) is assumed dead, Dan and Kris sleep together for the first time (on page, not very explicit). Kris feels awful after and isn’t ready for an emotional connection. He then sleeps around with random people (and Dan) until David comes back. He is ready to try dating Dan properly by the time David returns, but they never get that far. David has been celibate in this time. Dan kisses Kris after David is back, but it isn’t reciprocated. Kris and David are the MCs and end up together again.
POV: 3rd person, multi POV
Genre: Historical/romantic suspense thriller, M/M
Strict roles or versatile: Strict roles
Main characters’ age: 23 and 31 at the start of the story. By the end they are 39 and 47.
Series or standalone: Standalone, lightly connected to Hush
Kindle Unlimited: Yes
Pages: 726

My love, you are the stars and moon of my life. You are the peace my soul has always sought. You were the last gift of a vengeful God, and the only thing that kept my faith alive. Because of our love. Because you loved me. If you exist, Allah must have created you. Nature could not shape someone so perfect as you are for me. My soul, my love, I will always watch over you.

“[…] You look at Islam and all you see is al-Qaeda, ISIS, Boko Haram. You see the loudest, worst parts, and you erase a billion other believers who don’t share any of those beliefs. You don’t see nuance when you look at The Other. You just see an enemy.”

“I know what it’s like to be hated for who you are. To have your life dictated by others, your choices made for you. To have that rage in your chest, all the time. That scream, that says you are more than this. The desire to prove everyone wrong.”

“I’ve lived my life like a kaleidoscope. If you look at me one way, I’m the Army Special Forces soldier. Stern. Solid. American.” He chuckled. Kris grinned. “But I’m also Arab. Muslim, in some part of me.” He swallowed, squeezed Kris’s hand. “And… gay. Even though no other part of me can accept that. It feels like I’m different people all in one body, and I don’t know how to be everyone equally, or if I even can.” […] “When I am with you, I feel parts of myself come together. Parts I thought couldn’t ever mix. You make me want to be everything I am. For you.”

He probably weighed one-third of what Haddad did. Haddad’s biceps bulged out of his long-sleeved undershirt like he was a professional NFL linebacker. His chest was solid muscle, tapering down to a trim waist. Next to him, Kris wasn’t a twink, he was a twig.


You can find most of my reviews on Instagram as well: https://www.instagram.com/booksafety?...

[Rina Pride · Rating 5 out of 5]

10 Stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟Amazing book!!! Huge and incredibly well written!!
I was 13 when the twin towers attack happened, I remember it as if it were today. Even though it wasn't in my country, it was a remarkable day, a day that I stopped to watch newspaper on TV.

Here we have a story based on 9/11, a very well narrated plot! I was ecstatic about every moment. David and Kris were wonderful! I was distressed from start to finish.

This writer makes amazing and exciting stories, I'm a fan 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💟💟💟💟💟💟💟

[Josy · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's been a few hours since I've finished this awesome, powerful, and intense book and I'm still speechless. Right now, I should be asleep but I can't stop thinking about it so I thought I would write down some of what is running through my head right now.

This was one of the best books I've read in a long while.
Leaving politics and religion out of it, the message of this book is about "peace, love, and acceptance." Yes, I stole this from the author's note but only because it's true.

I know I won't be able to convey all the feelings this book evoked in me. I was gripped from page one to the very end, I cried many tears, I held my breath, I cursed and cheered, I was horrified and hopeful at the end. In short, I loved every single minute of it.

This book with its unapologetic honesty and criticism was emotionally draining and overwhelming but also thought-provoking.
Reading about real life events that shocked not only the US but the whole world to its very core was crushing even after so many years and I had to take lots of breaks while reading so I wouldn't drown in memories and feelings. In the second half of the story, the recounting of past real life slowly moves into pure fiction and that part wasn't any less captivating. I had a hard time putting this book down, I wanted to inhale it because I needed to know what would happen next.

At the core of this book were Dawood and Kris - two men who were shaped by their pasts and by present events, who were trying to find their paths, to decide between what is right and wrong while staying true to their morals and beliefs, who found love amidst a war that destroyed countless lives.

I was especially in awe of Dawood who turned his back on his faith due to a traumatic childhood but always felt like an important, integral part of himself was missing. Who was trying his whole life to align his sexuality with what he was taught and who chose a job to fight the evil in the world. Who, after horrific events, found his way back to God and his true self.

Kris was crippled by the weight of guilt, doing everything to right a wrong he felt responsible for with all that he had and was able to give. He was dedicated, almost obsessed with this mission he considered his duty while feeling the pressure his superiors put on him and at the same time trying his hardest to hold on to his humanity.

Dawood and Kris were two halves of one soul. It was beautiful and heartbreaking to be part of their journey. They completed each other so wonderfully, fought against prejudices, overcame mountains that were put in their paths, loved with their whole hearts, and created a love for the ages.

I was very impressed with the research and dedication the author put into writing this book - not only on the events that happened on 9/11 and in the aftermath but also on true Islamic teachings. I'm no expert when it comes to either and it was very, very interesting and eye-opening to see the effects this part of history had and still has on so many people.

Many thanks and hugs to my awesome friend Simone who was with me for most of this epic book and our enthusiastic "stalkers" Christelle, Anne, and Shile who encouraged us and cheered us on.

[Lau ♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dealing with religion, war and politics, Whisper tells the heartbreaking romance between two Special Forces Members, Kris Caldera and David Haddad. While it was way out of my comfort zone, I’m happy I didn’t give up because this book is hands down one of my favourites this year.

Warning: DO NOT read the blurb. It has huge spoilers of events that occur on pages 432 and 538. This book would have been a perfect 5 stars if I didn't already know what was going to happen. To read the book, the only thing you have to know about the plot is that Kris and David met in Afghanistan, where they were working with the Special Forces ten years after September 11th.

Warning II: I wouldn’t define Whisper as a romance. There is an epic romance -my favourite part, of course-, but a heavy part of the story deals with the war, David’s faith and lots of action. Let’s say it’s only 10-20% of romance, but every scene was so worth the wait.


“The Quran says all souls were created in pairs. One soul, one life, that was meant for two people. In this world, we’re supposed to find the other half of our souls and join together with them. () From the moment we met, it’s been like I’ve known you forever. Like everything in me is supposed to belong to everything in you.”


Now, let’s start with the praise:

Confident, smart and ambitious, Kris refuses to bow down and always manages to achieve whatever he sets his mind in. He has earned a place between my favourite characters, I was fangirling every time he was right and the others have to beg forgiveness because they needed him.


“Do not, under any circumstances, shoot your mouth off.” George growled into Kris’s ear. “Do not make a scene in front of the new CIA director. Do not, for the love of fucking God, say ‘I told you so.’”
“I wasn’t going to say it. My plan was to do a tap number on the center of the table, belt out, ‘I fucking told you so’ at the top of my lungs, and end in the splits in front of the VP. So he could suck my dick.”


David Haddad wasn’t as loud as Kris but he was still a hero, only a quieter one. While Kris wanted to be heard and show his worth, David's goal was being there for him. His arc was about finding a balance with his identity, being an immigrant in America and a gay Muslim, and he found his safe port in Kris.


“Every night, he returned to Kris’s arms. Kris was the one person in the world who didn’t demand something from him, didn’t judge him for the way he listened to the azan with his eyes closed. Who never asked him to choose, American or Arab, gay or Muslim, him or them. Kris let him exist, in all his mismatched parts.”


In the second half of the book, David starts to make peace with Allah and his journey is one of the pillars of Whisper. I learned a lot about Muslims thanks to his POV, but do you know how hard it is to not be angry with a character who started hurting my baby Kris because he thought that was his path?

David: "if I die following Allah’s path, we'll be reunited in Paradise."
My atheist heart -sorry, mom- screaming: "don’t you dare die, the only you'll achieve is turning into ashes, you ***!"



Kris… You are my moon in the darkness, always.
We will see each other again.
Someday.



The work behind this book is breathtaking: a huge part of the story actually happened in real life. The author invested a huge amount of time researching to write it and it shows. Moreover, his written style is beautiful. I’ll only complain about the lack of proper sex scenes after reading how well he can write them in The Jock. But I guess given the aspects treated in the book, it was an understable choice.

Overall, Whisper is worth the 4.67 average rating it has in GR, and I highly recommend it. I would have never picked up this book for me yet I loved it. The romance was epic, the story addicting and the fact a lot of it was real made it a truly masterpiece.


“You’re like a part of me I didn’t know was missing. Part of my mind, or my soul. Like you have the thoughts I haven’t thought yet, feelings I haven’t felt yet, waiting for me. Inside you. You feel like a part of me I’ve been craving.”


*Rating: 5 stars -0.5 for the spoiler in the blurb.

[Antisocial Recluse · Rating 5 out of 5]

After the complexity and suspense of his “Enemies of the State” series, I wondered how Tal could ever top that. Tal replied…”here, hold my beer”.

“Whisper” is an absolute tour de force, intense and powerful, packing an emotional punch greater than anything else Tal Bauer has yet written, in my opinion. It’s also an epic saga of love and romance through a time of war and the long, never ending battles against terrorism. Opening on 9/11, the history of US retaliation and subsequent invasions are used to shape and define the characters of Kris and David. Settings and circumstances are brutal and shaking, with both men feeling the cost of their service weighing down their souls. The narrative covers years of time where Kris and David are both together and apart. A strong cast of secondary characters adds to the suspense and gravity of events throughout the book.

It’s a riveting, absorbing story with strong political context, solidly anchored by the romantic destiny of these two men. It was all I could do to tear myself away to tend to real life. The extended opening scenes are crucial to understanding actions and responses from Kris and David as the story progresses, David in particular. Romance builds very slowly but David is Kris’s rock and touchstone right from the start, their intimate dialogues moving and thoughtful. Love scenes are plentiful, evocatively erotic but quite non-explicit. Think of a man in a well tailored suit with the jacket slung over his shoulder, top buttons of his shirt undone, sleeves rolled back to show his forearms and the curve behind his zipper quite evident. That kind of erotic! They’re well placed in the narrative, enhancing the action going on around them, often making them quite poignant.

Very much like Tal’s prior work, expect to run a gamut of emotions. Some scenes are quite brutal, some so strongly suspenseful I thought my heart would burst and more than a few will bring the tears. It’s a deep dive into Islamic religious beliefs too, never preachy or dogmatic but does touch on pervasive prejudices, intensified in current political climates. I strongly encourage reading the author notes at the end, because the quantity and quality of research and fact gathering is phenomenal. I’m also reminded of the 1957 book “Doctor Zhivago” by Boris Pasternak, about star-crossed lovers, set around the Russian Revolution and WWll, only without the dour Russian atmosphere. If you enjoy military themes, political thrillers, action and adventure plus loads of suspense, I can’t recommend this any more highly.

*An ARC was provided by the author, publisher or promotional service and I have chosen to publish a fair and honest review for Jessie G Books Reviews blog*

[Ben Howard · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't believe it's taken me this long to pick up a Tal Bauer book. This was excellent!

Whisper is a chunky book and I devoured every page. Packed with emotion, heartbreak, and love. The plot is intense and every character is fully realised and complex. Kris and David's journey is far from an easy one, their love for one another unbreakable.

Of course after I finished I couldn't let Kris and David go, so I scoured the internet for more content and I was pleasantly rewarded.

It’s time – Kris & Dawood After Whisper is a short extra epilogue for our couple. It was beautiful, and was nice to get a glimpse into their happiness and life after the novel.

I picked up and am currently reading Hush because Kris is a secondary character in it. Mike and Tom also appear in Whisper so I'm looking forward to reading the beginning for Kris' friendship with them.

The final piece of Kris and David content (as far as I'm aware) is a short story in Interlude: Cavatina. I have yet to read it, but one of the things I wanted most was for Behroze to be reunited with David and meet Kris, which is what this short is so happy days!

[Lyn❤Loves❤Listening to Real Voices Only!!!!❤️🎧📚 Addict ON HIATUS · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audio - 3.5 Stars.

I love John Solo, but he can't do accents well. If my sister, who I am/was budding reading this with (but have left in the dust...lol), didn't remind me that Kris was a character in Hush, I wouldn't have realized it. Why? Because in Hush, Kris had an accent, in this book..nada! No accent whatsoever. I think a dual narration would have served this book a lot better.

Story - 3.75 to 4 Stars



I know, I know, I'm in the minority with majority of my GR friends giving this 5 plus and all the stars ratings. I get it. I can see why, but I can also see why the minority of us weren't as enthralled.

There are enough reviews out there about the story, I don't need to add anything more. What I do want to say is that this book is long. The author could have EASILY made this a trilogy. Instead, he made it one book, put it on KU which allowed me to purchase the audio for $8.00. Now that's a gift, and I thank you Mr. Tal Bauer.

[Jewel · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Whispers from the desert scratched at his soul."

Like most Americans - and undoubtedly people around the world - above a certain age, I remember September 11th, 2001 with startling clarity. That day changed the way we see the world around us. The days and months that followed changed us even more. Whisper isn't a book I would have normally read. In fact, if it had been by pretty much any other author, I would not have. Politics and religion (of any stripe)...I'm not really friends with either. And so much war...

I'm not really sure what to say in a review of Whisper. There is no way I can do this book justice.

I feel overwrought with emotion. I'm drained, but at the same time I also feel hope. I feel that this is a story that needed to be told. Whisper is a heavy read. It's also a long read, topping out at 951 pages. And it's one of the most moving stories I think I have ever read.

There is a lot of religion, here - a metric ton of it. The story delves into what it means to be Muslim, especially in today's world. It's about loss, but also hope. It's about love and acceptance and finding peace within yourself.

There is also a lot of politics here. Much of what the author outlines really happened, and much of that was brutal and harsh. Once you finish the story, do read the Tal's afterward where he talks about his research and where fact meets fiction.

Nietzsche once said, "Beware when fighting monsters, you do not become a monster yourself. For when you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back into you."

Whisper is impeccably researched and thought-provoking. It shredded me, even as I couldn't put it down to decompress. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about the story and about Kris and David, and everything they were going through. It compelled me to keep going.

The love story of Kris Caldera and David Haddad, however, is what really anchored me. They made the journey of 950+ pages of war and terrorism worth it. Their love transcended everything.

“The Quran says all souls were created in pairs. One soul, one life, that was meant for two people. In this world, we’re supposed to find the other half of our souls and join together with them. Rejoin, and find the house of peace that we once knew before time.” [...] “I feel that with you. I always have. From the moment we met, it’s been like I’ve known you for forever. Like everything in me is supposed to belong to everything in you.”

Very highly recommended.

[⚣Michaelle⚣ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adored the Executive Office series, and loved Hush, but this one? Is simply a masterpiece of creative story-telling. And it felt like a labor of love.

There are not enough words in my vocabulary to do justice in praising this, and there aren't enough stars on GR to rate it highly enough. Seriously, I can tell already that every read from here on out will pale by comparison.

So well-researched (see Tal's afterward on how hard he worked, how deeply he was invested); Tal seamlessly blended historical facts with fiction to create a gripping, heart-breaking, soul-crushing and yet ultimately hopeful tale of love & faith. I used to say that if I ever won the Mega Bucks lottery I'd fund a second season of Firefly. Now? I'd work every minute of every day to make this hit the big screen. If it weren't a gay love story (and honestly, the sex scenes were mostly fade to grey with no explicit detail) I think someone would already be talking to Tal. This is a book that needs more exposure.

Please Tal, if you read your reviews and see this: Get someone to turn this into a screenplay. Or, knowing how much you like to do things hands on, learn to do it yourself. The world deserves to see this, especially now. Especially now.

(I think it's raining inside again.)

Yes, there's a lot of dirty laundry aired here, a lot of hate and extremism (on both sides) but the underlying message is so progressive, so uplifting. (If you can get through the politics.) And I'm not going to rehash it in my review. Just...read my notes & highlights.

As for those "steps" I mentioned in there several times? I have never been so happy to be wrong, and I'm kind of ashamed that I even doubted. But hey, even Kris wasn't sure at first...so I'm in good company.

Also, I hope this will eventually come to audio. I loved Joel's voice for Kris in Hush, and I don't know if he speaks Arabic or can do the accents, but if not maybe Greg? I need this in audio.

Thank you, Tal, for this book.

_________________________


LOL @ my original thoughts when this one first hit GR:

I don't even care what it's about...I'mma read it. It's Tal.

Edited to add: Oh, look - there's a blurb now. Still gonna read it!

I knew I would love it...I just had no idea how much. It's only January but I think I've already read my favorite book of the year.

[kaye taz · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 ⭐️
spice: 0.5/5 🌶️
format: audiobook
narration: 🎤🎤🎤🎤/5

this book is a literal masterpiece.

you cannot convince me that kris and david are not real people and this was not a 100% accurate retelling of events that actually took place. the settings, the descriptive language, the ever-changing storyline and all the emotions… this story is an insane journey that never once lost my attention.

i will be so real though, the romance aspects did not really do it for me. while i loved both kris and david separately, i have to admit that i wasn’t always perfectly convinced of them as a couple. i wanted to feel devastated by their love, but i just didn’t. i was waiting to feel those strong gooey feelings i’ve gotten while reading every single other tal bauer book i’ve read, and i truthfully never did.

but i can’t deduct any stars because i also wouldn’t change a thing about the story. highly recommend for the thriller and historical parts, but maybe not for the love story.

(ps. i have absolutely no triggers when it comes to books, but 9/11 is just one of those events that affected my life in a very real way and i did have some anxiety during the first handful of chapters when the events of the tragedy were being retold, and even some later parts during the war in the middle east. there is also heavy islamophobia. just be mindful of those things before reading.)

[Sanaa · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars.

A thousand million stars in the sky would not be enough to count the ways I love you. Or grains of sand on the beach, even if you split every grain in half.

Well....holy shit.

This is hands down the LONGEST book I've ever read in my life. That I actually loved. A LOT. I've pretty much read every book by Tal Bauer so when I saw this, I got excited and then the blurb was revealed and it was about Kris (who you meet in Hush) and David I got even more excited!

First things first, 60% of the book deals with the past, specifically 9/11, the wars and how David and Kris meet. And there's a lot of politics. Then it's in the present, 10 years later when they reunite. I'll be honest, this book might not be for everyone. But I really loved it.

I was thoroughly surprised and loved all the extensive research that the author did in order to get all the information. I'm so happy that he took his time because it showed. In ever single page.

“Never let anyone else define your life, Kris. Never let anyone else define who you are. They will always get it wrong. Never settle for that.”

I loved, loved, loved Kris' character. I loved that he wasn't afraid of who he was and he was proud of it. Also, the fact that he never backed down from a fight. That he stood up for what he believed was right.

And David who also went by Dawood in the last half. I adored him and man did I feel so much pain and love for him. Out of every book I have ever read, he is the one person I connected to the most.

“I know what it’s like to be hated for who you are. To have your life dictated by others, your choices made for you. To have that rage in your chest, all the time. That scream, that says you are more than this. The desire to prove everyone wrong.”

I loved the love story between the two. I loved their chemistry. I felt their pain, their happiness, and every other emotions. I hated some parts of the book. There was so much anguish that makes you realize the amount of sacrifices people have made to get where we are today. And how that shaped their relationship.

“I want us to have everything. I want to give you everything you’ve ever wanted.”
“You already have.” Happiness, security. A man who loved him, and who he loved in return. Stability. Confidence. Empowerment.

The only reason I took the .5 off was because I wanted more of their love story. I wanted it to shine. Sometimes I felt like it got lost with all the politics and war. But aside from that, I loved this book. SO. FREAKING. MUCH.

I hope that Tal never stops writing. I need more books from him in the future and there's so many people that I can think of at the top of my head that he *might* write about if I'm being honest. And that makes me so happy!

“The Quran says all souls were created in pairs. One soul, one life, that was meant for two people. In this world, we’re supposed to find the other half of our souls and join together with them. Rejoin, and find the house of peace that we once knew before time.” David moved closer. “I feel that with you. I always have. From the moment we met, it’s been like I’ve known you for forever. Like everything in me is supposed to belong to everything in you.”

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, that was possibly the best romantic suspense book that I have ever read.

[Al *the semi serial series skipper* · Rating 5 out of 5]

***To infinity and beyond star***

This book has completely wrecked me.

This book was heart wrenching, it is in a category of it's own. I know I am going to do a poor job of constructing a review.

Truth is, I struggled to finish this book, in fact I had decided to return it today. I started reading it a month ago but it had too many political talks in it, if there's anything I hate reading about, it's politics, coupled with the fact I hate reading about stories that have true events in them I usually would not pick this up but I had seen the reviews, it was on my feeds for days on end with everyone lauding Tal Bauer so I decided to give it a try.

This is a sad book, yes there is romance but it is a sad book. It takes place after 9/11, you can feel the turmoil, the rage, the agitation from the pages. Kit who is a junior CIA analyst notices after the fact that the names of the bombers crossed his desk, he blames himself, he is sent to Afghanistan and several other places to gather intel and find the people responsible. Kit is young, an idealist, he wants to make everything right, he wants to make up for the mistakes he thinks he might have caused by not paying attention to those names. He is also very gay. Seeing as this was in 2001 with homophobia at it's all time peak it was glaring and he did not try to hide it. Everyone gave him a wide berth except David.

David, a Libyan who left his country as a boy after the public hanging of his father by Qaddaffi, he goes to America where he can be free. David does not practice Islam but when he goes to the war front, he is confronted by the brutality both on the side of the Americans and the Muslims, David is disillusioned and you can see him fight it everyday. He loves Kit and they help ground each other. Until David is captured.

When he reemerges he is a changed man. It was interesting to see Davood(formerly David) wrestle with his faith, to turn to Allah and seek guidance, following Davood on his road to enlightenment was the best part of this book. I enjoyed the way the author rote about Islam in this book, there are terrible Muslims but that's just a few. Boko Haram ravages my country nonstop and so does ISIS with other countries, the people in those regions are the ones that suffer, not everyone wants to join their Jihad, the world paints a bad view of Muslims just because of the actions of few. Hate only breeds hate.

This book made me sob like my heart was breaking even the author's note brought a certain poignancy, I know almost nothing of Islam but seeing this author take the time to learn about the religion and being able to bring it to light is amazing in it self.

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you

*Apologies for any grammatical errors*

[Starr (AKA Starrfish) Rivers · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't know what to do with this. I'm at 31% and just realized it's freaking 700 pages!!!! And NO SEX!!!!



Arrrrggghhhhh!!! But I do want to know the ending! And it better be HEA!! So I don't know what to do!! Should I read on or QUIT while I'm ahead??



OK, so I finished reading it. Even though I am not happy with the following, I have not taken stars off for them:

* The lack of actual sex. Just vague stuff. I need details ppl!! This is not what I like to read!!



* The 700+ pages!!! I really can't stomach more than 400-500 at most. There was a lot going on, sure, but still. Could have been shorter



* The meet, love (no real sex scenes) and torn apart for TEN years!!!


*****Spoilers ahead*******

The following I DID take a star off for:

* I absolutely HATE cheating of any kind. HATE it with a vengeance. I don't CARE if they both thought the other was dead. David was CELIBATE for TEN YEARS!! And suffered like HELL! No one! And what's his name (honestly I don't care about the other MC, as you can tell I don't even recall his name) was a complete manwhore and slept with the ENEMY!!! I can't stand it! Makes him 1) unfaithful, 2) STUPID, 3) he trusted the wrong ppl instead of the LOVE OF HIS LIFE AND SOUL MATE!!!!!!



Why this book gets the rest of the stars:


* Well written, thoughtful, beautiful writing in places, very signature for this author. Deeply feeling. And as always, there is ONE hero I fall for. THE hero. The big, strong, deep feeling, loyal, loving, practically a martyr type of hero. David was basically like Jesus - suffers, loves unconditionally, despite everything, self-sacrifices, hero, etc.

I love David. But I don't love the other MC. I only tolerate the other guy. Whatevs on the other guy. So doesn't deserve David. But then, who does, really?

So... I suppose I would rec this book, but anyone who has any issues with the issues I had, maybe think twice.

[M.I.A · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Here ye enter the seventh century.

Here there be dragons.

Except they weren’t dragons, they were men,

and men were always far worse than any mythical monster.”

This has been an epic and memorable tale.

Fiction woven around a true historical world and setting.
Around 17 years in the lives of Kris Caldera(23 yrs old) an analyst for the CIA assigned to Afghanistan and Sergeant Dawood Haddad(31 yrs old) medic, special forces.

Their lives in the aftermath of 9/11, their battle against the atrocities of men and the love that flourishes in the midst of war.

The romance
Two man who recognize one another even amongst the rubble of violence, hate and anguish.

“He loved Kris for that, for the shared ways they’d moved through the world and had each gotten kicked a dozen times or more.

Coming from nothing and fighting for more,

being brown in a world full of white,

being gay in a world full of straight.

Kris had the same bruises on his soul that David had, all the sighs and side-eyes that came with growing up poor, brown, and gay.

They’d both been outsiders, both been relegated to the margins.”

This is a slow burn. But, my absolute favorite kind. One that grows out of affection, friendship, companionship and blossoms into a consuming ethereal love.
One where the MC’s spend the majority of the time at each other’s side, supporting, protecting, uplifting, loving one another.

Kris is fierce and admirable. Never hiding his sexuality despite endless homophobia and becoming a pariah amongst his coworkers. Allowing himself to walk his own path, define himself through his own hard-work, his commitment to his mission and being true to himself. Paving the path for other’s like himself. Fighting against adversity at every turn. I truly adored him.

Dawood is just magical and he has so many facets. But he comes into the story in pieces.

“I’ve lived my life like a kaleidoscope.

If you look at me one way, I’m the Army Special Forces soldier.

Stern. Solid. American.” He chuckled. Kris grinned.

“But I’m also Arab. Muslim, in some part of me.” He swallowed, squeezed Kris’s hand.

“And… gay. Even though no other part of me can accept that.

It feels like I’m different people all in one body, and I don’t know how to be everyone equally, or if I even can.”

Dawood struggles spiritually. 9/11 shatters the illusion he had of his life and the way he is perceived in the world. Though he’s always been an ‘other’, it becomes magnified when the US turns against all muslims. When the actions of some leads to a hate of all. He could no longer avoid the past, avoid who he is or where he comes from. He finds strength in his love for Kris, emboldened to put himself back together. And it’s a beautiful and moving journey.

"Dawood…

He’s like a diamond that’s been compressed out of ashes.

Gold that’s been through fire, all the rough spots, the wreckage, burned away.

When I look at him, I’m breathless.” Kris closed his eyes as his throat clenched.

“He’s the best of all of us.

And he always has been.""

The plot

“Nietzsche once said,

Beware when fighting monsters, you do not become a monster yourself.

For when you stare into the abyss,

the abyss stares back into you.”

The love story is intertwined within this vicious world. Where hate feeds hate. The conflict between right and wrong. A world where everyone feels their truth is the ultimate truth.
How far is too much?
How much violence is enough?
What happens when truth is tarnished, twisted by the motivations of men?
Where does it all start?
When does it all end?
What is enough?

This story is incredibly well rounded, honest and I was left with only one sad truth especially in the light of life as it is.

Cruelty, violence, hate will always be apart of human nature right alongside kindness, love and compassion. Our reality is flawed and will remain as such but it doesn’t excuse not trying to do better and be better.

I won’t deny there is quite a bit of a preachy nature to this epic tale. But it’s the kind of preaching that is sorely needed in the world we live in.
It’s an unfortunate fact that those that need to hear this story are not the people who will reach for this book. Perhaps I’m too cynical but reading this, looking back and then looking at the present, well… enough said, our reality speaks for itself.

Memorable.
Epic.
Heart wrenching.
Thought provoking.
Must read.

[Cassandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

A thousand brilliant stars!

I am gutted, just gutted and still teary as I write this. This book was everything, EVERYTHING I love in a novel. The detailed political background to the war in Afghanistan post 9/11, set as the backdrop to the love between Kris and David / Dawood was perfection.

One of the joys, to me, of reading has always been that I learn things. Stories with incredible attention to detail like this one are my kryptonite and are so very rare. I come away from this book not only filled with both joy and heartbreak for Kris and Dawood, but also with a new appreciation of the events of our history; ones I watched in horror, in real time, from across the other side of the world, but that impacted my life, and those of millions of others nonetheless. I am filled with anger and despair at the choices people make but also with hope for the future.

Big statements from a fictional novel reading but as always Tal Bauer does his homework so this was more than just a love story. It was a story that moved me to want to DO something; to CHANGE something. And from a fictional book? That's an astonishing achievement in this world of disposable fiction.

I didn't read this quickly as I often do. I savoured it. The detail of the politics (which I usually hate), the detail of the war (which I also hate) and the slow build of the love between Kris and Dawood amidst rampant homophobia, the horror of war and the spectres of their own pasts was enthralling.

I listed to the audio of Hush last year during a period I couldn't read. And whilst I LOVED the book, the narrator almost killed me with cringe. The way Kris's character was voiced put me off picking this up for over 6 months (and since it was the same narrator, and I was able to read it, I did so). Even as I was reading, knowing what was going to happen with Dawood, I needed to put it down for a week to steel myself to keep going.

I'm not going to give a synopsis because the blurb and other reviews are enough. Suffice to say, this will go down as one of the best novels I have ever read. It won't be for everyone, but for me, it struck a chord that no novel (not even all the other Tal Bauer ones I've read and loved beyond reason - Enemies of the State, Ascendent) has done in a long, long time.

[Tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fabulous book! I can‘t even begin to describe my feelings...

OMG!

Review to follow.

————————


Just finished re-reading Hush and had to quote this emotional argument between Mike and Kris!

“And who are you to talk, huh?” Mike roared. “You eat men alive and kick them to the curb before they catch their breath! Who of us is actually scared of being real?”

Kris’s eyes narrowed, going cold, deadly sharp. “I loved a man more deeply than you will ever know. I will never find another love as deep, as intense as what we had. Never,” he hissed. “And I never want to. I buried my heart with him, and he will keep it.”

*deep sigh* I can't wait to read Kris and David's story. Bring it on, Tal!

[Lefthandedbibliophile · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars
thought this book would never end...

[Audiobook S1ut · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 million stars. If all books were this intense, I don't know if I would be a reader. We're dragged through war zones, through political and religious extremism, broken bodies, torture and unimaginable violence, all with a backdrop of mm romance that's barely there and fully formed.

I hope to make a more comprehensive review in the future, but this was incredible and heartbreaking, the last 3 hours of the audiobook was a white knuckle adventure of thriller perfection.