Dissolve

by Nikki Gemmell

'Every woman on Earth should read it' Caroline Overington, Weekend AustralianHaving lived through the humiliation and bewildering complexity of heartbreak in her twenties, Nikki Gemmell eventually resurfaced, reclaimed space for herself and found her voice. Decades later she has written a deeply personal, profoundly intimate reflection on love and female creativity, and what happens when the two collide in a man's world.Dissolve is a conversation. A conversation with the young women of Gemmell's teenage daughter's generation, and of course with men.'Reading this memoir is like therapy for the soul' ArtsHub'one of the most enriching, yet debilitating reads I've experienced... tremendous, moving writing' Jessie Tu, Women's Agenda'Nikki Gemmell wrote this book for me, and I suspect there will be many women who feel the same way... Each page is imbued with startling self-awareness and profound wisdom... Vulnerable, honest and raw' Better Reading

Genres: Nonfiction

166 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 28, 2021

About the author

Nikki Gemmell has written four novels, Shiver, Cleave, Lovesong, The Bride Stripped Bare and The Book Of Rapture, and one non-fiction book, Pleasure: An Almanac for the Heart. Her work has been internationally critically acclaimed and translated into many languages.

In France she's been described as a female Jack Kerouac, in Australia as one of the most original and engaging authors of her generation and in the US as one of the few truly original voices to emerge in a long time.

The French literary review "Lire" has included her in a list of what it calls the fifty most important writers in the world - the ones it believes will have a significant influence on the literature of the 21st century. The criteria for selection included a very individual voice and unmistakeable style, as well as an original choice of subject. Nikki Gemmell was selected along with such novelists as Rick Moody, Zadie Smith, Jonathan Safran Froer, Rohinton Mistry, Tim Winton, Colum McCann, Michel Faber and Hari Kunzru among others.

Born in Wollongong, Australia, she now lives in London.

Reviews

[Laura Tee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started dog-earring the pages in which I found passages that perfectly, succinctly, articulated confused feelings and longings I experienced in my 20s. But then I noticed that every page was dog-earred.

As Gemmell says, almost a decade later there is still healing and “unlearning” to be done, and this book is another step towards understanding my own past with peace of mind rather than judgement.

A phenomenal writer.

[Philippa · Rating 5 out of 5]

How I ached reading this book. Both with rage, and in recognition.

[Makenzie Leather · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got through about 3/4 of this book with deep interest - leaving my own insights and annotations about Gemmell’s statements throughout. But I also very quickly got bored. It felt repetitive, and while I enjoyed her realistic and relatable telling of her emergence as a creative woman in a patriarchal world, I felt that she made her point then kept dragging it on and on. A relatable and easy read, just grew repetitive and boring towards in the second half or so :))

[C · Rating 5 out of 5]

“you love him too much. Are in love with him too much. Are in love with love too much.”

this book broke me and put me back together

[ellie · Rating 5 out of 5]

as you prepare to leave your wild frontier home, the place that gives you solace and strength.it will be hard to let go of the land that’s wrapped itself around you and grown you up. i’ll be leaving a part of me behind, and will hoe
fully return one day to reclaim it because my spirit lifts whenever i return to the centre. i yearn for it when i’m away.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Is a really good read. Definitely felt seen when reading about all the experiences we as women go through. Felt nice to feel I wasn’t alone in my experiences at a young age around men. I think I really needed to read this to help focus on what I want and not what I think I need. 100% recommend.

[Sunny · Rating 5 out of 5]

I luv second person! Very Australiana, coming of age, relationship turmoil, girl in the world vibes. Second book from Gemmell I’ve read and it won’t be the last. Really easy to get into. Fun little bits of smut throughout. Lots of fab references to other female writers.

[Lemonade · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm a bit unsure about this book and what the point of it was. It seems like it is some of the author's memoirs and started out as a feminist book, however she seemed to say throughout the book that women should/could focus on having a successful career, but then the author states she got married and had a family. The author seems to suggest that her husband (the man she married) is different from other men in history, and she made the right choices for her, but other women in history did not make good choices. It all felt a little self righteous to me. I also did not understand how a grown women (who kept asserting throughout the book she is very smart and independent) could not drive a manual car and needed help from a man for days doing it. Lots of things just didn't make much sense to me but maybe it's just different backgrounds and I just didn't really understand her world (private schooling etc.). I also would never support a man and I don't understand why she did (supported her boyfriend) if it was supposed to be a feminist book about women looking after themselves.
There were lots of quotes from famous and accomplished female writers in the book, and the author seemed to imply she related to these quotes, but at the end of the book the author got married and did what most other women throughout history have done (had a job, got married, and had kids).
The point of the book seemed more about telling women to make sure they choose a 'good husband', but she didn't really go into a lot of explanation of how women should best do that or educate women more about how to find and keep a good husband; I think maybe that should have been the focus of the book - how to find a good husband who supports your career. Maybe that was the point of it all. The book was okay, but I have enjoyed her other books more (I really liked her book called 'After').

[Mel Sweeney (mels.bookshelf_) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nikki Gemmell writes a deeply personal, profoundly intimate reflection on her struggle to become a writer, recounting the challenges of being a creative female trying to make her way in a mans world. Gemmell puts to words many things that most females would have felt at some stage as they made their way through early adulthood, and this book definitely prompts a reflection on your own experiences. The book follows her internal struggle to follow her creative dreams and juggle her relationship with a man who was not able to hold the space for her to do so, putting her creativity aside to instead support his. Although I did really enjoy her realistic and relatable telling of her rise as a creative woman in (what seems like) quite a patriarchal industry, I felt that the book did get a bit repetitive. Her writing style is good and very easy to read, but I think the (very) regular insertions of quotes and anecdotes from famous females felt very repetitive.
A must read for any woman writer or artist that has ever been tempted to put their creative urges aside, but even as a female that doesn’t work in the creative space you will definitely find some gems to take from it.
A good book!

[Kira B · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful lamentation of what it is to be a woman writing in the world and the ways that conditional love can be so cloistering and inhibiting. I love Gemmell’s prose - her lilting phrasing and sentence fragments make me feel like I’m there listening to her as she talks through what is essentially, a near miss. I love the moments she spends on her current relationship and the way the gentle, brief treatment perhaps reflects the bolstering effect of the relationship without it being all consuming. I am very glad she found her way out and to the page all the while finding what she needed in a relationship - the literary landscape in Australia, and the world, is richer for it.

[Jessica Offer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Poignant and touching. Hit the mark. Super raw and wonderful. Devoured it.

[Mikayla Cairney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dissolve by Nikki Gemmell is a wonderfully poetic reflection on the author’s past relationships and experiences with men, and the ways in which men punish women for “not being submissive enough”. Gemmell speaks directly to her younger self; “you look back”, “you’ve learnt”, “you couldn’t imagine”. This draws the reader deeper into her story; reader and author becoming one female entity.

Through her delicate prose, Gemmell reflects on man’s diminishment of women. The perceiving of women as object, as plaything; women as nothing but a hole, and the ways in which we enable this. How the degrading and humiliation of woman during intimacy is made to be sexy, and how we reduce ourselves to be loved by men. More importantly, she explores the insecurity of men. Man’s fear of female awareness, of female knowledge — and how, in turn, women feel an urgency to pacify and sacrifice for mans comfort at the expense of our own.

“You dread the controlling man, for all the females in your life, because he is the insecure man and he will want to bring a woman down, box her in — and it is a great tragedy if so many women’s lives.”

Peppered with anecdotes of women artists, Gemmell highlights how unoriginal her experiences are, and how common such treatment of women in relationships are. She highlights the red flags throughout her narrative and implores her readers to never give up their creativity, their art, for anyone. For doing so is to lose your soul, and whoever would ask that, or allow that of you, is cruel.

While directly focusing on the female experience of male/female relationships (in their variations) the novel also addresses the toxicity of relationships between individuals who are intrinsically ‘wrong’ for one another, and how we can loose ourselves — our passions, our soul — to the wrong love. It is not a cautionary tail on love, but rather an encouragement to look for the right love, and to not settle for anything less.

[Kyra Geddes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just finished reading Dissolve by Nikki Gemmell after seeing her in person at a wonderful literary lunch for Sydney Grammar mums last month. Apart from having an utterly fabulous front cover design, I really enjoyed the way Gemmell weaves an insightful analysis of feminist theory and famous case studies with a significant chapter of her own life story in which she she allowed her voice to be drowned out by a controlling lover and would-be husband (this scenario resonates with me for reasons I may one day share in my own writing!). Given her theme and her distinctive use of the second person, I can see why she is so highly lauded in French literary and feminist circles. Certainly worth a read …

[Cel Jel · Rating 5 out of 5]

A memoir talking of growth of a woman from childhood freedom, the adolescent constraints from expectations of how women should behave and on.
Nikki expresses various truths experienced by women. I loved her chapters look8ng at the way women were undermined by the creative men who took advantage of them and their skills and abilities.
Nikki explains her experience of this.
I appreciated this book and would like to see girls in their late teens reading this to think about their personal agency.
I doubt men would enjoy the read, but it could help them understand and accept 'independent women' better. (Perhaps that is too hopeful).

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing and thought provoking. Told me about how the space to create can be consumed by the men and loves in our lives. Fearless living happens successfully when energy is focussed on self and not wasted propping up the ego of others. Living for one’s self provides the mental capacity to achieve great things and should be cherished not thrown away for mere infatuations.
I want to read this book again, many times over to provide strength and a rope to pull me through the tough times.
This book made me realise that I have grit and will walk through the dark to see the light once more.

[Renee Felsch · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautifully written, Gemmell put to words things I had only felt but not fathomed. Sometimes hard to read, her writings brought forth strong emotions and made me reflect and analyse the experiences I've had as a creative female in contemporary society. Whilst I don't agree with everything she wrote, I do think her words and perspective were incredibly powerful and eye opening, giving me armour for experiences to come.

[Jessie Adlide · Rating 5 out of 5]

So glad I picked this from the bookshelf, sincerely life-changing.

"Its like everything in this desolation has become glittery and vivid. My alone is erotic, wolfish, hurting, hunting. Sometimes I plummet - burn, doubt, stumble - but there's something very alive about it all, raw and surfaced and living. It's as if a layer of skin has been peeled from my eyes. God toss me."

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nikki Gemmel is undoubtedly one of my favourite writers. Reading this journal / memoir was equal parts validating and infuriating. With a style of writing that cuts through and a tone that feels like a familiar friend I felt this book deeply. It will resonate with many women of an age.

[Vanessa Mckay · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Nikki Gemmell's work and this book is my favourite to date. A must read for every woman writer or artist that has ever been tempted to put their creative urges aside. Don't do it, read this book!!

[Andrew Walton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deeply and immensely powerful based on the deep inner workings of relationships and finding the unbound ability.

[Cherena Kantaroski · Rating 5 out of 5]

100% yes to this. Just yes.

[Magpie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Melanie bookclub 2022

[Claire · Rating 4 out of 5]

Devoured this.

[Bec · Rating 2 out of 5]

"Every bird goes in search of a cage"

[Sherry Mackay · Rating 2 out of 5]

Could have been a good article but too long and repetitive as a book.

[The Literature Goblin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed the first few chapters, I resonated and felt enraged however towards the end I felt it repetitive and started to lose interest.

[Elsa Termato · Rating 3 out of 5]

Worth reading the arguments again. The best bits are the stories of other women famously attracted to and dissolved by famous men.

[Sophia Haralambis · Rating 5 out of 5]

so good.

my entire copy is underlined

I’ve apparently never had an original experience ever

[Darcie Gravestocks · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a feminist masterpiece, written differently to other books I've read. Very empowering, very worth purchasing.