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Great with Child: Reflections On Faith, Fullness and Becoming a Mother
Casually referencing numerous sources including the biblical Psalms, Jewish feminist midrash, and a Better Homes and Gardens baby book from 1953, the author shares her experiences of pregnancy and birth, vividly detailing the powerful transformations of motherhood, in a powerful exploration of the mind and heart of a mother.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published April 1, 2002
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
December 18, 2012
I loved this book, and I could not have read it at a better time, since the author wrote it before, during, and after her third pregnancy and I am 37 weeks into my third pregnancy myself. I would recommend this book to anyone who has ever been pregnant -- it is a beautiful treatise of the whole experience from "maybe we should try to have a(nother) baby" to giving birth to baby's first birthday. I loved the way the author connected her physical, emotional, and spiritual experiences of pregnancy and motherhood throughout the book. As my friend Hannah noted in her review, this book is a great antidote to the "what to eat / buy / worry about during pregnancy" books! Side note: I would not recommend this book to anyone who has struggled or is struggling with infertility. Not that it is written in an insensitive manner, but it is unapologetically all about being pregnant.
November 1, 2021
Given to me by Erin Neilson during the second half of my (first) pregnancy, I began this book eagerly, seeking wisdom and experiences of many women who have gone through the process before me. Quickly, I was drawn in by Rienstra's writing style (frank, but compellingly emotional, wry humor, Christian faith and literary-educated feminine perspective) - AND by experiences and emotions I quickly discovered "I've felt the same way!" Her combination of Christian female-forward/modern woman-mother was utterly appealing to me, probably because, as she states, "I'm following the current cultural orthodoxy - just like {my mom} did!" I've been so relieved to experience that current pregnancy and delivery support is more hands off, supportive of natural needs of baby and mother. Rienstra searches for the same experiences. Her descriptions of motherhood, trying to conceive, being pregnant, L&D, and postpartum were very raw, honest and humorous, and I enjoyed her parallels to scripture, as well as current and historical writers. She reveals her and her family's path to child-raising, in such an honest way, that I enjoyed reading her techniques and experiences, even if they do not all fit my own. I felt connected, as I have desired to feel connected since I was young - I have wanted to belong to the sacred group of women who have become mothers since the beginning of time. The strength, the pain, the success and the tragedies of physical motherhood. (Emotional, spiritual, mental motherhood...) I felt connected to Rienstra, a part of the awe-inspiring sex, and one about to embark on motherhood. As natural and eternal as motherhood is, one quote in particular seems to best showcase one of my perspectives of childbearing: "... pain is a teacher: childbirth pain reminds us, stubborn and dense as we are, that to bring a child into this world is a serious thing and cannot be done lightly or purely for selfish pleasure or fulfillment. There is pleasure and fulfillment in it, but there is also a cost. The pain is there to speak, in the body, of that cost." This glowing review may be due to the fact that my baby will be born within the week, and I am on heightened emotional planes, but even so - this book came to me at exactly the right time.
March 21, 2016
Any mother, mother to be, or woman who has a mother should read this book. Seriously. 'Tis beautiful.
June 24, 2012
"The resulting headache on that bottom-out day was a rotten distraction, but it occurred to me that I might better think of it as a kind of ritual emptying, a low point on a curve that could now rise to buoy something completely new and uncontrolled, something outside myself and my ability to direct" (8).
"The Judeo-Christian notion of divine creation through fiat and the majestically ordered poem of creation in Genesis hardly suggest recklessness, but I like to think of God covering his eyes with one hand, cringing with the wildness of it all, and saying "Let there be . . ." Then, the cautious parting of the fingers, the divine eye peeping through, a reverberant whisper declaring, almost in surprise: "That's good!" (9-10).
"This giving over of the self to whatever happens, this poising of the self for possibility--I could not relish it if it weren't for the ultimate trust I have in the sense of this universe, in the compassion and power of the Creator, in God's sharing of hunger and promise of joy, somehow, sometime. This is not, for me, recklessness in a void. The giving over of my tiny helm is a chance to drift on something larger than myself. So I say now: Streams and patterns of cosmic flow, chance and chaos, Providence and Divine Love--now you decide. I merely open myself, and wait" (10).
I have done what you wanted to do, Walt Whitman,
Allen Ginsberg, I have done this thing,
I and the other women this exceptional
act with the exceptional heroic body,
this giving birth, this glistening verb,
and I am putting my proud American boast
right here with the others.
from "The Language of the Brag" by Sharon Olds (quoted on 221)
"The look on his face pleaded, 'Why are we doing this [reorganizing the baby clothes:] anyway?' and he had the audacity to utter the following blasphemous thought: 'Can't we just pull out the boxes as we need them?' My obvious exasperation sent him retreating upstairs . . . . There were to be no infidels in my basement. If he couldn't assent to the absolutely imperative nature of the project, I did not want him around" (104).
"A marvelous mystery. A person has taken root inside me, but I do not know who this will be. I know nothing about the genetic permutations already thrown together . . . nothing about the character of soul this person might be given. When my imagination tries eagerly to fill in the mystery, I curb it. We must not 'rush the silent spots,' one of my professors used to say about the beautiful and often cryptic Old Testament narratives. I do not want to rush into this person's silence before he or she has a chance to become" (38).
" . . . if we foolishly imagine for a minute that parenthood is an accomplishment or achievement or right, sooner or later something will smack us with the realization that it is, above all, surrender" (41).
"In my experience, weakness is just really terrific after it's all over with and you're back to full strength. Then those lovely benefits might accrue of expanded compassion for others, tougher will to handle the next round of difficulty, more secure trust in God since, after all, you got pulled through the last one. But the weakness itself stinks. When I am weak, then I am bewildered. When I am weak, then I am relinquish the power and pleasure of pulling my weight, managing the household, doing my job, being an all-around capable person. When I am weak, then I have to depend on others, and they never do things quite the way I like them, and besides, they might need me someday when it's not convenient. Nothing attractive about it, as far as I can see" (46-47).
The "Sleep" chapter was eerily reminiscent of my Summer 2008 depression. If I ever want someone to understand what I was feeling, that might be a good place to direct them. It makes me want to be very attentive to my sleep and mental health in those first few months.
"The spiritual life is a life in which we wait, actively present to the moment, trusting that new things will happen to us, new things that are far beyond our own imagination, fantasy, or prediction. That, indeed, is a very radical stance toward life in a world preoccupied with control" (from Nouwen article in Weavings, quoted on page 59).
"The Judeo-Christian notion of divine creation through fiat and the majestically ordered poem of creation in Genesis hardly suggest recklessness, but I like to think of God covering his eyes with one hand, cringing with the wildness of it all, and saying "Let there be . . ." Then, the cautious parting of the fingers, the divine eye peeping through, a reverberant whisper declaring, almost in surprise: "That's good!" (9-10).
"This giving over of the self to whatever happens, this poising of the self for possibility--I could not relish it if it weren't for the ultimate trust I have in the sense of this universe, in the compassion and power of the Creator, in God's sharing of hunger and promise of joy, somehow, sometime. This is not, for me, recklessness in a void. The giving over of my tiny helm is a chance to drift on something larger than myself. So I say now: Streams and patterns of cosmic flow, chance and chaos, Providence and Divine Love--now you decide. I merely open myself, and wait" (10).
I have done what you wanted to do, Walt Whitman,
Allen Ginsberg, I have done this thing,
I and the other women this exceptional
act with the exceptional heroic body,
this giving birth, this glistening verb,
and I am putting my proud American boast
right here with the others.
from "The Language of the Brag" by Sharon Olds (quoted on 221)
"The look on his face pleaded, 'Why are we doing this [reorganizing the baby clothes:] anyway?' and he had the audacity to utter the following blasphemous thought: 'Can't we just pull out the boxes as we need them?' My obvious exasperation sent him retreating upstairs . . . . There were to be no infidels in my basement. If he couldn't assent to the absolutely imperative nature of the project, I did not want him around" (104).
"A marvelous mystery. A person has taken root inside me, but I do not know who this will be. I know nothing about the genetic permutations already thrown together . . . nothing about the character of soul this person might be given. When my imagination tries eagerly to fill in the mystery, I curb it. We must not 'rush the silent spots,' one of my professors used to say about the beautiful and often cryptic Old Testament narratives. I do not want to rush into this person's silence before he or she has a chance to become" (38).
" . . . if we foolishly imagine for a minute that parenthood is an accomplishment or achievement or right, sooner or later something will smack us with the realization that it is, above all, surrender" (41).
"In my experience, weakness is just really terrific after it's all over with and you're back to full strength. Then those lovely benefits might accrue of expanded compassion for others, tougher will to handle the next round of difficulty, more secure trust in God since, after all, you got pulled through the last one. But the weakness itself stinks. When I am weak, then I am bewildered. When I am weak, then I am relinquish the power and pleasure of pulling my weight, managing the household, doing my job, being an all-around capable person. When I am weak, then I have to depend on others, and they never do things quite the way I like them, and besides, they might need me someday when it's not convenient. Nothing attractive about it, as far as I can see" (46-47).
The "Sleep" chapter was eerily reminiscent of my Summer 2008 depression. If I ever want someone to understand what I was feeling, that might be a good place to direct them. It makes me want to be very attentive to my sleep and mental health in those first few months.
"The spiritual life is a life in which we wait, actively present to the moment, trusting that new things will happen to us, new things that are far beyond our own imagination, fantasy, or prediction. That, indeed, is a very radical stance toward life in a world preoccupied with control" (from Nouwen article in Weavings, quoted on page 59).
March 31, 2011
Yes, my wife is great with child...and I love it. I'm excited, and nervous to be a dad, and I love to feel the little one kicking in her gloriously round belly. Only three weeks (or so) left!
My wife and I like different books, and this pregnancy has brought that truth to light in new ways. While I tend more towards fiction and the occasional book of essays, she prefers non-fiction and enjoys "instructional" books. So her shelf has featured "What to expect when you're expecting," "Being Baby Wise," "And Baby Makes Three," and others along that line. These just don't appeal to me, and it was frustrating to her that I was not showing much interest in pregnancy through my reading. (You can look back in my blog to see what I was reading at the time.)
But then we found common ground: memoir. Non-ficion written as narrative. And we found a book, by an author we know personally no less, that fit the bill. Deb Reinstra finishes out her book saying that she wrote it because she needed something else to read about pregnancy. Thank you for scratching that itch.
Great With Child does a great job of sharing the story of pregnancy from one woman's perspective, but covering all parts of it. The best thing about it is that her approach is not clinical, her purpose is not to be a textbook. She shares emotion, fears, joy, and pain in a very real way. I feel that this book prepared me to walk along side my wife through the process much better than one of those instructional "self-help" books could have.
My wife and I like different books, and this pregnancy has brought that truth to light in new ways. While I tend more towards fiction and the occasional book of essays, she prefers non-fiction and enjoys "instructional" books. So her shelf has featured "What to expect when you're expecting," "Being Baby Wise," "And Baby Makes Three," and others along that line. These just don't appeal to me, and it was frustrating to her that I was not showing much interest in pregnancy through my reading. (You can look back in my blog to see what I was reading at the time.)
But then we found common ground: memoir. Non-ficion written as narrative. And we found a book, by an author we know personally no less, that fit the bill. Deb Reinstra finishes out her book saying that she wrote it because she needed something else to read about pregnancy. Thank you for scratching that itch.
Great With Child does a great job of sharing the story of pregnancy from one woman's perspective, but covering all parts of it. The best thing about it is that her approach is not clinical, her purpose is not to be a textbook. She shares emotion, fears, joy, and pain in a very real way. I feel that this book prepared me to walk along side my wife through the process much better than one of those instructional "self-help" books could have.
January 4, 2013
Going to say 4.25. I really want to give this a 5 ... and I had before I'd finished the whole thing. I love the reflection, inter-twining of motherhood, faith and hormones; her honesty is helpful and encouraging. It was great to re-read with our third, just as she wrote this with her third. But there were parts about it that were just too whiny (maybe in part because she had struggles with different things than I do) and repetitive. It certainly is a book like none other I've ever read and would recommend it to all moms (and maybe dads too).
November 15, 2010
As a new mother, I appreciated Rienstra's thoughts on pregnancy and motherhood. Although there are numerous books on this topic, Rienstra is probably one of the few the seeks to link together thoughts on not just the physical process, but the spirituality of it all, too. And she weaves in poetry and literature (thanks to her PhD and teaching experience in this area). She put all her reflections into chapter and sub-chapter categories, but it is still a bit meandering, and so I didn't give her 5 stars.
July 11, 2008
Written by a Calvin College professor before, during, and after the birth of her third child, she ties in personal experience and emotion with reflections on her faith and reflections from history and literature. I'm not even sure what category this book falls under, but any mother would greatly enjoy and benefit from reading her reflections. I especially enjoyed it as my life somewhat parallels hers at the moment =)
December 29, 2012
Hoooooo boy. Loved the first half -- the wanting-to-be-pregnant and the pregnancy chapters really resonated with me. The second half, once the child is born, was overwhelming -- BECAUSE the author is honest and forthright and open in a way that I hadn't yet experienced. Don't read this looking for a Pollyanna look at motherhood, or if you're turned off by spiritual and philosophical contemplation (written in a very accessible, non-sanctimonious way).
March 17, 2008
I read this during, and immediately after, my third pregnancy which is exactly the season of the author's life while she wrote it. It's one of my favorite woman / mothering books-- she pulls from so many resources-- the Bible, literature throughout history, cultural traditions, etc. and deeply explores the emotional / spiritual aspects of mothering.
January 28, 2012
Rienstra got tired "of all the books that treat pregnancy and birth as a merely medical event ... Giving life to a child seemed to irradiate my thoughts about everything else-the body, womanhood, work, culture, God-everything." I especially like the thought that all human life begins with an act of hopeful recklessness. And maybe creation began that way too.
February 18, 2012
A great antidote to all those "how to get it to sleep" "what not to eat" and "what carseat to buy" books, which are awfully hard to connect to the deeper dimensions of life.
Reading a book like this connects pregnancy, birth, and parenting with the spiritual and emotional dimensions of our lives in ways I found meaningful and refreshing.
Reading a book like this connects pregnancy, birth, and parenting with the spiritual and emotional dimensions of our lives in ways I found meaningful and refreshing.
October 29, 2022
I’ve read this twice now, started with each of my pregnancies and finished in the later months of my babies’s lives. This is a top pregnancy, labor & delivery, birth, and baby book for me. Just filled with depth, meaning, humor, genuine words that are so relatable for a woman in childbearing seasons. Loved reading Debra’s experiences and perspective in these formative years.
February 7, 2010
I've read this book twice now, each time I've been pregnant. I've given it to my closest friends when they've started their pregnancies. It's beautiful. I love it's mixture of literary analysis, spiritual insight, and personal reflection.
January 17, 2008
Great gift for new mothers! Holisic view of motherhood and all it's wonders.
May 12, 2010
So far I've decided that I would've really loved to have had this woman as a professor...too bad she teaches at Calvin instead of Hope ;)
January 17, 2010
It's really wonderful to read another woman's honest, well expressed thoughts and feelings during pregnancy.
January 5, 2010
A wonderful book chronicling the 3rd pregnancy of a seasoned mother.
March 6, 2013
This book rang completely of truth. I laughed at moments, and then also sympathized just moments later. She does a remarkable job at relaying the spirituality of motherhood. A great read for anyone.
June 8, 2009
Only a few pages in, and despite the overly descriptive language, I love the ideas she conveys.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews