Get Divorced, Be Happy: How becoming single turned out to be my happily ever after

by Helen Thorn

Why is it that we only celebrate the beginning of a relationship when often it's the end of one that turns out to be "happily ever after"? Where are the separation parties? The stack of "Congratulations! You're Got Rid of That Arsehole!" cards?!

Ending a long term relationship isn't a sign you've failed, that you're unloved, or that everyone should approach you with their head tilted in sympathy - so, stop doing that, please! Starting a new life as a solo act is exciting, freeing and can be one of the best decisions you will ever make. It's time we all re-looked at what it means to be single and celebrate the happiness of starting a new life, alone.

Join comedian Helen Thorn, as she takes you through the first year of single life and beyond. Helen shares her own hilarious journey from the initial shock of separation, the "messy months" hanging out in her PJs through to the highs of rediscovering sex, tiny pants, rock-solid female friendships and the glorious joy of just being alone.

With the help of relationship experts and an army of women "who know", this book is full of tips and VERY honest confessions that will demystify and debunk the sad old clichés of single life. Helen and her team of badass women will show you that going it alone isn't the end, it is just the beginning, and you will come out the other side, stronger, happier and goddam sassier than ever before.

Genres: Nonfiction, Mental Health, Audiobook, Divorce

239 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 29, 2021

Reviews

[Kristen Thomason]

Soft launching my divorce on Goodreads? Iconic or sad. You be the judge. (Its fine most of my buddies who follow me know the scoop)

Really helpful book. Has a lot of insights I found helpful, especially regarding community which I have found is the most needed thing in any and all ends of valuable relationships.

The humor is -super- millennial and pretty cringe, but I think that’s just the author.

There’s also a strange, pretty racist throw away line about African men at the end of the book that like….completely backhanded me-like what the fuck?

While the book will be in my toolbox as I navigate this change, I would feel disingenuous to not mention that.

[karla_bookishlife · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a fantastic read. I have followed Helen Thorn on Instagram via Helen Wears a Size 18 and ScummieMummies for a while and absolutely love her. She is hilarious and strong and a fabulously honest and loving woman and mum. I may not be a single mum or in the process of divorce, but I absolutely loved reading about her experiences and there is so much you can take away from her experiences regardless. It sounds awful to say that you 'enioy' reading about her year of separation and divorce or that it is 'funny', because obviously it was heartbreaking and horrendous, and Helen does talk about this and I definitely shed a tear or two and felt like I had been on an emotional rollercoaster, but Helen talks about the sisterhood of friends and dating post break up - there are so many laughs and tears. It is impossible not to laugh and enjoy the read, despite the tough subject matter. Plus there is so much sensible advice for any woman regardless of marital status - sort out your financial future as an individual, not just as part of a couple, sort your pension and take control of your income and outgoings, reevaluate direct debits and insurances and bills to get what you actually need at a better price, take time for yourself, do things you enjoy and love and have maybe lost along the way, love your body regardless of shape or size and gain self confidence, but also exercise for strength of body and mind doing something that is fun for you....the list goes on. I have taken lots of lovely advice. If a friend is in the process of a breakup or divorce, this should be their bible! Gift it immediately! I am so glad that my first read of 2022 was this empowering book.

[Emily Meese · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helen is very inspirational and I enjoyed reading this account of her getting divorced. She's an incredibly strong woman and doesn't gloss over the heartbreak involved in divorce. I didn't find it as helpful as Rosie Greens book on divirce but there were some good tips on recovering from total betrayal and heartbreak.

[Nikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

It didn't all apply to me but it's so helpful and I've taken so many notes!

[SusyHD · Rating 3 out of 5]

I became unexpectedly separated ten months ago and I was looking for a book that was positive in tone and that would fill me with hope and appreciation for the things I've gained. This book tried really hard to be it but it didn't quite get there for me.
Thorn has a light and cheery writing style and concludes chapters with lists of tips or lessons she's learnt. She also frequently asks others for opinions, those others usually being respected professionals with valuable opinions on topics such as motherhood, divorce or dating. I really liked all of this about the book.
What did not work for me was the inherent suggestion that Thorn's experience could be universally mimicked. Her experiences are related to her being middle class, with older children, and to having a good relationship with her ex, so the stories of partying, getting pets, having therapy and casually dating will feel a little out of reach and unrealistic for a lot of people. Considering most women will have at least halved their household income by separating, I think the book would have benefited from a chapter on how to adjust to the financial loss. That being said, Thorn was very honest about her own financial incompetence and about how separation had forced her to grow up about money, so that was refreshing.
Altogether a positive tone and a book that will probably make you smile, but don't expect to be able to relate to it. Another reviewer said it was more of a memoir of Thorn's experiences than an advice book and ought to have been advertised as such, and I completely agree.

[Rachel H · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good read for anyone newly separated. Thorn describes her separation and first year as a single mum in considerable detail. She has consulted experts and there is lots of useful information on everything from the legal and bureaucratic side of divorce to feeling better emotionally. However it's her story and everyone's split is different - lots of the advice won't be relevant for everyone (for example, her child-free weekends come across as such a luxury to someone solo parenting without a break). Sometimes the book comes across as if it's a self-help guide and I thought it should have been presented more as a biographical account of what she went through, which is what it is.

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good book which made me cry but also laugh a lot.The author tells her story from the heart & sounds so down to earth.This made the book so good to read & very believable. I read this in two days.
I would recommend this book to anybody who is getting divorced or thinking about divorcing to give you an insight into the future & also to realise that life goes on after.
Most importantly how she wrote about the support from friends/family to get you through this difficult & often traumatic time.

[Beka · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well said, Helen. Lots of good advice. Lots of laughs. Just wish the transitions from your thoughts to the quotes of other people were a little more flowing than "I talked to so-and-so and they said......".

Very glad you are out there empowering others to be strong, themselves, and stop worrying about what others think.

[Kirsty Mills · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing read. I sat in the garden at 10am and now, at 5:30 I’m still out here having read the whole damn thing. I laughed out loud several times and the neighbours must have wondered what was going on as I sobbed for a good hour or so of it. If you’re going through separation or divorce - read it!

[AestheticAngel: · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a daughter who witnessed the messy end of my parents' relationship and saw the heartbreak of my mom, I was scared that she would never be able to let go of the relationship. Even with the divorce, my dad, who was now remarried, would still keep my mom in his sights and on the hook with false hope (that they still had an unbreakable bond)- while he had clearly moved on. My mom, who is now in her fifties, is finding her independence and has started to accept the end of the relationship, even though they divorced over 20 years ago. I have felt the frustration of watching my mom hold on to hope that perhaps one day my dad would come back to her. But all that false hope did was keep my mom stuck and prevent her from moving forward and living her life to its fullest.

Helen Thorn’s Get Divorced, Be Happy, is an audiobook I didn’t know I needed to listen to. It helped me to understand my mom’s feelings and her experience a little better. While it focuses on romantic relationships, I also found it helpful with the end of friendships. I’ve had a lot of those, and it made me feel better about endings in general. I am currently in a happy, loving relationship with my boyfriend, but this book is a reminder that if my long-term relationship ends one day, I know I’ll be okay. I’ll also be okay if we NEVER get married. I can now accept the possibility of both realities and not be afraid of it.

Helen’s humor and the sex chapter weren’t my cup of tea (I skipped that chapter) , but I appreciated how she laid herself bare. Helen’s empowerment is contagious and will help those who are inspired to empower themselves.

[Nicki · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book that could be your hand holding, fag smoking, wine drinking friend through your separation/divorce/break up. This also reads as a ‘I’m not perfect but here’s what I learned along the way to becoming a stronger version of myself’ book so even if you’re not separating/divorcing (I’m not), you can still feel Helen’s empowerment as she navigates though her new situation and apply it to your own life. Why would you not want to read about a strong independent woman? She is funny, honest, fierce, silly, loving and strong and what a woman that makes her! Unapologetically Helen.

[Shona Chambers · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Helen and Ellie from their fantastic show Scummy Mummies and this book although obviously sad in places is also still very funny, and great at giving an insight into what separation and divorce is like. There are lots of experts listed if people want to learn more about anything in particular such as legal advice, counselling or financial support. Wishing her every happiness for the future.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyable and Informative

Helen writes with humor, bluntness and sage advice about this life step called divorce. She shares her stories, talks to professionals and details their advice as well as recognizing not everyone who may read this book is hetero-sexual. If you are going through a break up, definitely give this book a try.

[Pam · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book about being a forty-something mother of two and being completely blind-sided by discovering her husband’s infidelity was an interesting read.

Since I’m neither a millennial nor Australian, there were some things that struck me as a bit out there, but I realize that I’m not in her demographic.

Still glad I read it, though.

[Harriet Jamieson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m reading this as a close friend is going through this. It is so funny, moving and compassionate and I recommend it to anyone who is going through it or who has a friend who is that they’d like to understand and support more.

[Martha]

Thank you

I loved reading this book!! It made me laugh out loud and shed a few tears. Most of all it gave me hope and made me realise carrying anger is destructive!! It is my turn to be me😊

[Jenny Mark]

Love Helen and Ellie so much.

[Catriona Cory · Rating 2 out of 5]

Loved the positivity and a very easy read, but found the name dropping all a little distracting. Some good advice though.

[Emma Rosen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading as a fan of Helen Thorn (with some concern from my husband 🤣) Well researched and full of heart. Although the amount of alcohol bothered me a bit, I liked the level of honesty

[mrs e collard · Rating 5 out of 5]

loved it and so useful

Loved it. Really useful to read and hilarious too. Thank you for writing this. I will read this again definitely.

[Ruthie O’Connor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m very happily married but I loved this book.

[Eleanor · Rating 4 out of 5]

My first ever audio book - listened to it in the car on a long journey by myself and it captivated me. I identified with a lot of her experiences, and she is truly inspirational.

[Daisy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant. I loved her honesty, humour, and heart

[Rachael Locker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started out ok but I lost interest after a while and didn’t finish it

[Laura Burrows · Rating 5 out of 5]

I needed this. Though not 100% relatable (everyone's separation circumstances are of course different) it did make me see the light at the end of the tunnel and I found it inspiring!

[Charlotte Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great book. I needed to hear all of it. Really helped me after divorcing

[Niamh · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 ⭐

[Emma O Malley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book, her story really resonated with me and at times it related wholly to my own life. I took away an overall feeling of positivity and hope.

[Harriet Shearsmith · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolute must read if you’re going through a separation. Seriously.

[Susanne Mills · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this, I laughed, I cried, I nodded so much my neck hurts 😂