Milked By The Balloon Monster

by Evie Lace

My very own inflatable lover?!I always thought my research career would amount to more than some futile attempt to make life out of ordinary party balloons just because that was the only project I could join that got funded.The thing is, balloons make me feel a special sort of way. Squeezing them, rubbing up against them... So to say my feelings about the project are conflicted is the understatement of the century.Then against all odds we succeed. And I'm being asked to get into the enclosure with our new life form so we can learn a bit more about him.But he already knows what he wants. He's got some squeezing and rubbing of his own in mind... and by the time he's done, maybe everything will have changed.

Genres: Short Stories

24 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 28, 2021

Reviews

[Melanie (mells_view)]

there’s something for everyone…

2.5 entertainment value stars*

If I’m being completely honest balloons popping gives me anxiety and milk makes me gassy, so this shouldn’t work for me, but this was entertaining AF. It made me laugh quite a bit, but it’s also just overall entertaining and a little mind boggling. If you want to read something that’s different, and quick… look no further.

[Kayla]

I don’t even know what the hell I just read. I’d rather be suffocated by a balloon than read this. Unfortunately I read this and am still breathing. 😂

[Cassandra]

erm....

no <3

[KB]

I don’t even.. how did we get..

“I’m a real boy now!”

[Devon]

What happens in book club, stays in book club.

[Jessica {Litnoob}]

It’s now time to throw myself off a building for having read this. Listen I never wanna yuck someone’s yum… but yuck. Big fat yuck.every single word used here was cursed.

[Emily Hurricane]

Yeah I read this. XD Neither of these is my kink but I couldn't resist, I was so curious! And I'm not gonna lie, as a scifi short story I really enjoyed it. The writing is really good, and though the steamy bits didn't do it for me I was really into the lore going on. I want to know what happens next, though! What does a world where sentient balloon men exist look like? Need a sequel, Miss Lace!

[SarahinWanderland]

Spoilers Ahead***
This story starts off like many of them do, with a disgruntled woman in STEM. We are introduced to our FMC, a character whose name you don’t find out until 30% of the way in. She’s what’s called a “looner.” She gets "enjoyment" from blowing up balloons and watching them go from soft rubber to a firm shape (don’t know if that’s real but this is where we are at people). And once they’re swollen she likes to rub them all over her body.

1st plot point- she joins this research team despite her misgivings simply to play with balloons, couldn’t she just buy balloons from the dollar tree?

2nd plot point- they have animated balloons with human DNA but how, is completely missing.

3rd plot point- the character likens him to a child which was disturbing considering the situation they were in. And then she immediately says he is definitely not childlike, but already had the ick.

4th plot point- she "ehems" an actual balloon man.

5th plot point- she is milked by him and her milk gives him sustenance and he becomes more sentient and humanoid.

[Tia]

Literally read this for fun anddddd it was fun. It was actually kind of normalish until the milk and then I couldn't stop laughing.

Would recommend if balloons don't offend you and you want to increase your book count with a short story

[TC Reynolds]

2nd book in "What The H did I just read" list.
Just spare yourself and don't read.

Compared to this, Squeak was a masterpiece. This was bad and messed up on so many different levels. Weird doesn't even begin to describe how f'd up this was. Parts were funny but sick.

[Allison]

I ripped open the first packet and started blowing up the contents, my lips quivering as I put them to the nipple-reminiscent openings for inflation.

I suggest being intoxicated if you are going to attempt this little work of art. I cried from laughing. It is awful. Some questions for the author:

- Why could she not just steal the balloons and take them home?
- Why didn't she just buy balloons and take a job without so much shame?
- Why? Just why....that's the whole questions

Well looners, I'm out. Time to pick up some bleach, which is completely unrelated to me reading this.

[Sam]

I need to find one about a Whacky Wavy Inflatable Tube Man like at the carwashes. After this one, the sky is the limit. Kidding. This was as weird as it sounds, but 24 pages of cackling and wondering where I've gone wrong in my life. A perfect palate cleanser after DNF'ing a more "legit" romance novel.

[Ally]

🤷‍♀️ to be honest I took an extra star away because of the other researchers' ridiculous non explanation for how they created Balloon man.. but other than that the writing was fine and I was slightly entertained 🤡

[Charlie]

This is what last night's scrolling on Tiktok will do to you.

I came across an account that reads not the usual smut or romances.

I had no expectations but I was like this :O and then xD all the way through.

The power of imagination people it really is something.

[sammiimarriiee]

The writing was actually really advance for this genre of books. This author is a genius because they were able to make getting off with a balloon spicy. I need a physical copy of this book.

[BoringBookLover]

I-
Tik tok brought me here. That was an experience.

[Simone Goodner]

..... This is what I get for letting my curiosity get the best of me....

[Stephanie Brosch]

I’m a real boy? Nah.

[Tam]

Curiosity did kill the cat in this sense LMAO.

[Morgan]

idk why i read this tbh

[Kelly]

What?!

What did I just read, and why did I like it?

This was probably the most ridiculous, but really well written, thing I’ve ever read. 😂

[Katee]

Well, this was… words on a page. Not nearly as good as Squeak.