This was a pretty ambitious effort by this author to cover two key populations one doesn’t find much in Nigerian romance- a gay hero and an autistic heroine. I loved that the author took on these two marginalized key groups who are often subject to discrimination, abuse, and underestimation and set them front and center in this unusual love triangle trope novel.
The premise is that Janelle (Jay) is a high-functioning autistic programmer who sets her life aside to return to Nigeria after over a decade away in when her best friend Ahmed, a gay aspiring senator, needs her to enter into a marriage of convenience to hide his sexuality for his campaign. Things come to a head when Jay meets Tyrell, a young hot furniture entrepreneur on vacation, and the two fall in love. But Ahmed is not going to let something as inconsequential as love distract him from getting what he wants, even if he also has an obsessive crush on Tyrell.
As you can imagine, A LOT was going on in this book and there is A LOT to unpack. First of all, the positives. The premise of this was very unique. Quite alright it’s not something I would naturally gravitate towards (because love triangle), but I love the creativity of the idea. I also loved the realism that the author brought to dealing with these key populations- gay people and autistic people in Nigeria. The author was successful at capturing the bigotry, the misunderstanding and the discrimination that gay people and autistic people face and the lengths they sometimes go to to fit in. I loved that we met Jay at a point in her journey where she was wholly and unapologetically herself (even if her best friend was asking her to set that aside and once again mask who she was). I loved exploring an autistic identity through Jay and observing how she saw herself and neurotypical people. I loved the normalization of her stimming as a coping mechanism that she wasn’t trying to control or hide, but that was part of her life- take it or leave it. If anything, I felt like there was so much of her autism journey in this book, that I wish I had gotten to know her a bit beyond that. Indeed this ended up being more Ahmed and Tyrell’s book than it did hers. And amongst the characters, she was the one I liked the most and was most interested in, SHE was the one I cared about. In terms of sexuality, I also think the author did a good job exposing the lengths, a conservative society may drive someone to in order to hide who they are. Ahmed’s crazy plot can only be the brainchild of someone for whom outing would be death at worst or social suicide for himself and his influential family at best. I loved that the author however, gave him non-toxic non-homophobic parents or at least a supportive mother who wouldn’t care about his sexuality. I thought this was a great choice given the rest of the internalized and likely societal homophobia he would face if outed.
Unfortunately with this book, there were several things that didn’t work as well for me. Romance is a genre where likability tends to be one of the requirements of the protagonists. Even when they’re a$$-holes, in romance, usually they’re salvaged through the “misunderstood” label. Here, I don’t feel enough was done to salvage the two main male protagonists, Ahmed and Tyrell- to me, both are real pieces of work. From my very first encounter with them, I thought they were awful and I thought the same to the end- Janelle deserved better than the toxic friendship and relationship she had with both men. My main issue with both men was simple- they saw Janelle as a possession. Neither of them saw her as a full grown, thinking, feeling person to consult or consider. Rather she was a toy they fought over, a means to an end, for Ahmed, and for Tyrell, an obsession to have on demand. Ahmed was clearly the villain in this story, but I found Tyrell more insidious in his constant misogynistic asides and comments and general see-finish attitude towards women, even though on the surface he claims to love and respect women. His instinct to pursue a woman he KNEW was engaged and use her to make whatever Instagram point to her betrothed bothered me. To me, it just screamed of a willingness to do harm rather than one to protect the person you love. His resentment of being held accountable because his business does ruin the forests in his ancestral land and while he has a charity for development, one thing he didn’t mention he was working on was reforestation and that was a missed opportunity to make it look like he could take constructive criticism and make his billion-Naira business more ethical.
To me, Ahmed was a selfish user that was living in a la-la-land of having your cake and eating it with his constant threesome/foursome ambitions. I couldn’t get a sense of whether he was supposed to be gay or bi or pan or how he was planning to include poor Janelle in his fantasies when he couldn’t stand being with a woman. It felt a little unclear to me and somewhat poorly thought out especially for a master manipulator like him. I was also really bothered by the fact that he didn’t get his comeuppance in a Nollywood-style ending or even get the heavy dose of humility, he clearly required.
This book didn’t feel very much like a romance to me. There is sex in it and romantic love, but between the ain’t-ish-ness of the male protagonists and the general love quadrangle vibe, it was giving me maybe some form of erotic fiction or dark love story or even general fiction.
Something I liked about this book was the fact that Janelle’s mother had classic autism and I feel like that was represented really well here. Indeed, I wish we had gotten a little bit more of her in this book. However, I feel like the trauma she faced as someone who seems to have been taken advantage of (by Janelle’s father) while she was still underage was swept under the rug and not really dealt with with the gravity/commentary the sexual exploitation of people with disabilities should be dealt with. And I feel there were lots of little moments like this in the book that were quite serious but then not really given the time and space they needed. Even Ahmed’s interaction with his own sexuality and his reconciliation with it, to me, needed more time but felt rather rushed at the end. I kind of get that so much was happening about the main drama of the book that perhaps there was no space for these more introspective moments, but I think they are such significant issues that they needed it.
On the whole, this was well-written for the most part with a really nice blend of English and Nigerian Pidgin that was very well done. There were some minor editing issues in the edition I read but I don’t think they really affect the reading experience though I did notice. It’s possible that they may be fixed for later editions. One thing I think this could have benefited from is more beta readers and/or sensitivity readers but again, this is an indie author and this can be a luxury so I totally get it and I totally respect how much sensitivity she put into writing Janelle.
This book explores a lot of potentially triggering themes like ableism, homophobia (internalized and societal as well as self-prescribed conversion therapy), threatened outing, misogyny, infidelity, sexual assault, possible adult-minor relationship, death, mental illness amongst others. These things are gone into in great depth so if you might be affected, consider sitting this one out.
As a romance fan, I know that the love triangle is probably one of the more disliked tropes for many romance readers, and I’m not exempt from feeling this way. Going into this knowing that it was a love triangle trope made me nervous, and reading this, I felt like it hit so many of the things that I don’t like about the love triangle trope- from infidelity to a selfish kind of love to turning partners into prizes to be one rather than human beings with feelings that can be hurt. Indeed, to be honest, this was more love quadrangle than it was love triangle and one couldn’t help but feel that Janelle and Jeffery and to a lesser extent Tyrell were victimized in the process so that the HEA didn’t feel H. I think many traditional romance fans will struggle with the set up of this relationship but readers I feel comfortable recommending this to readers who don’t like the softness of typical romance novels and who aren’t typically romance fans but are instead looking for a light read with some dark, messy, love triangle true life elements. I think such a person might really like this. This is a love story that is messy and ugly and shows people at their worst when they’re forced to behave in the end rather than love making them better people through “the healing power of love™️.” And so in a sense, it’s a more realistic sort of billionaire romance and I think people cynical about more typical “love changed them” romances might like this more.
I appreciate the work the author did in representing autistic characters in this book with respect and authenticity and I felt this was good rep for neurodivergence in romance overall and I think the author did a great job with the execution of these aspects of the book.