Seen: Despair and Anxiety in Kids and Teenagers and the Power of Connection

by Will Hutcherson, Chinwé Williams

A two-hour read to build a stronger relationship with a kid or teenager. Whether you're a parent, youth leader, teacher, or caring adult, not knowing how to help those dealing with difficult emotions can leave you feeling intimidated, powerless, and discouraged. It can feel scary. But we want you to know there is hope. In this book, Will and Dr. Chinwé will help you...
A beautiful convergence of faith and psychology, Seen is a quick read that uses both clinical research and real life stories to give you--and the kids you love--hope. 

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Psychology, Mental Health, Leadership, Personal Growth, Health

128 pages, Paperback

Published July 24, 2021

Reviews

[Sam Crosbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciate the distinctions between depression and despair and how they should be handled differently. Liked the balance of logical and emotional treatment. Definitely needed to look into sins contribution to people’s despair.

[Hannah Spragins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved all the practical tips in this book and think it will be one I reference often in student ministry.

[Troy Nevitt · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a wonderfully practical book, but it is incomplete. This is the how to and practical solutions to fix what has already been broken. But true change and lasting impact requires heart change. This book requires people to be active in their lives. This is an external solution that relies on others being there permanently. Even though they may not need as much support over time, that's not a lasting solution. They need to be transformed by God, as this book recognizes, so that they may endure even in their suffering.

This book is an excellent companion to books that focus on the heart, like Instruments in the Redeemer Hands, by Paul David Tripp, or other counselling books that work at heart change first.

[Jodi Booth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every adult who interacts with kids needs to read this book!
"When we show up, they feel loved. When we see them, they feel understood. When we just listen, they feel safe. When we speak life, they feel worthy. When we help them develop grit, they feel empowered" (98).

[Erin Odom · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! Highly recommend parents of tweens & older read this + anyone who works with teenagers or older kids!

This book should be on every parent’s bookshelf!

[Emily Schatz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every parent, teacher, pastor, and anyone who cares for a kid in their life needs to read this book. Finally a book that gives practical tips, real next steps, and combines faith with science and psychology. Best resource I’ve read in years.

[Amanda Montes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a simple yet powerful look at how despair is processed in the brain and how we can help those walking through challenging times find hope and purpose. I highly recommend this book to anyone who works with young people.

[Sara Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having read LOTS of books on parenting, and education, and listened to many podcasts etc., this book was concise, with anecdotes and simple exercises to practice new ways of relating to hurting (dare I say all) teens. It gave helpful background and insight into brain development (like a summary of The Whole Brain Child) and why approaching emotion with logic doesn't work. Some of it may seem like common sense, but not so when you're "in the moment", so having these principles in your thought library will be helpful, especially to the knee-jerk parent like me.

[Erik · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book accompanied a multi-week video and discussion seminar at my church this past spring. The last page summarizes the book's content:
"When we show up they feel loved.
When we see them they feel understood.
When we just listen they feel safe.
When we speak life they feel worthy.
When we help them develop Grit they feel empowered."

For the most part the book offers practical suggestions on how to do each of those 5 "When we" statements. I'm not sure I could have digested it just from reading this 108- page book. Rather, it helped to be in discussion groups and also watch videos in place of reading a short chapter.

Having said that, my favorite chapter in this book was chapter 7, about the subject of building grit. As a direct result of that content I have been listening to Angela Duckworth's book on Grit. The authors of "Seen" suggested that kids today have everything done for them, or in some cases they are protected from stress and difficulty. As a result, they do not know how to respond to failure or disappointment. Without learning a way through these inevitable realities, kids today do not develop grit to endure.
As a teacher of 9th graders I experienced this firsthand over the last 3 years.
One of my favorite lessons in my English classroom is having them freewrite about resilience after looking up the definition and finding a quote from an expert about this idea. Thanks to chapter 7 and Angela Duckworth, I plan to revisit the idea of resilience a second time in my classroom this coming year. I want to help develop grit for my students and offer them hope.

[Cindy Davis- Cindy's Book Corner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seen: Healing Despair and Anxiety in Kids and Teens Through the Power of Connection is an excellent resource for parents, teachers, or anyone who works with youth in any capacity.

"In recent years, our world has seen a pandemic of depression, anxiety, and despair in kids and teenagers. In fact, the age group that has seen the highest increase in suicide rates is in kids 10 to 14 years old."

If you are around youth/teens then you know this statement to be true. Teenagers do seem to be dealing with more anxiety and depression than ever before. The point of Seen is to give the reader tools to be able to help teens who are struggling, and if need be, encourage them to get the help they need.

I highlighted so many things in this book. There is a lot of practical advice and encouragement. I can see things that I could have handled better if I had been properly equipped. As someone with two teenagers who struggle with depression and anxiety, and as a youth leader, I wish I had read this book sooner. It is one I will revisit often and recommend highly. It is such a short book but has so much great information.

[Jena Mattison · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a quick listen on audible. I enjoyed the clear definitions given regarding anxiety and depression vs. despair. The authors provided insights about how despair can be repaired by using some thoughtful techniques. However, some case studies mentioned seemed to lack realistic outcomes/continued follow-up, or relied heavily on a strong spiritual relationship for a "fix." I did like the reminder that being a safe, caring, patient, reliable and listening adult to kids can make a huge impact and help them build grit. Some of this advice will stay in my toolbox!
*at some parts of the audiobook, the author mentioned additional resources available in the printed book - I'm not sure if these were text references or visuals, but could be worth the paper copy if a reader is interested.

[Jesse Baker · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Seen, Hutcherson and Williams note that "the world has seen a pandemic of depression, anxiety, and despair in kids and teenagers" (p. 8). With "hope" as their mantra, the goal of the authors is to present practical methods to help heal despair in children and teenagers (p. 8). These are the relational techniques of being present with the person, seeing them, listening to them, speaking life to them, and building resilience in them (p. 26). The simple book is beneficial for demonstrating how these practical techniques assist a young person in feeling loved, understood, secure, worthy, and empowered, resulting in the hope of freedom from despair.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a topic that has not been touched on enough in the church. Many people still believe that the reason they are struggling mentally and emotionally if because they “just aren’t relying on God enough,” when we know it’s so much more than that. This book does a great job of helping people begin to de stigmatized the conversation. I appreciate that it includes the work of someone in the mental health field not just the perspective of Christian church leaders. The only way we will begin to help students through the mental health crisis is when we accept that scripture AND the medical field can and should work together.

[Jaime · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was able to read this 100 page book in an afternoon. I would recommend it whole heartedly for these reasons:
-it speaks to a major issue prevalent among our kids today
-it is very practical and gives lots of examples of what to say, do and not to say. Also it has actual resources that can be copied and used straight from the book.
-it speaks clearly and defines terms to a parent, teacher, youth leader in the trenches
-it ties in our relationship with God

I will use this as a parent and I will use this as a youth leader. Small but mighty.

[Christy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seen presents concise data and easily applied strategies for connecting with kids and teens. These strategies are regular rhythms for prevention and healing of despair and anxiety. While not in any way a replacement for medical treatment or therapy, the skills taught in this book are “small ways to make a big difference”. Note, the authors are Christian and tie faith into the text but all strategies are applicable to anyone regardless of faith or spiritual tradition.

[Terrance Lively · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good book that is a very easy read, especially given the topic, but also seems to really be just an appetizer to more. I really wanted this introductory book to go a little deeper into strategies and ways to help connect with those in despair. I also wanted a little more from the faith perspective in relation to health, but the short book is a good way to empower adults to start helping.

[Sally · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very needed read !

This was a wonderful book. It is written to help the everyday parents, grandparents , and friends who need tools to help their child get through some very difficult and trying times.
I love learning about connecting with the emotional side of the brain versus the thinking reasoning side. We must learn how these connect and should work together, plus they give you the tools to try to do this!
This is a must-read!

[Mandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book was emotional for me. I have a daughter who is struggling with anxiety and depression. Some of the examples hit close to home. This book was quick and easy to read. The tools are simple, but seem profound.

The authors write this book heavily from a Christian mindset. I share that mindset, so I related well to this. I think the tools have usefulness and merit regardless of your religious beliefs though.

[KRISTIN · Rating 5 out of 5]

Todays teenagers are different than a decade ago. Being in a pandemic of a mental crisis this is a quick read with great advice to help our teenagers. I appreciated the youth pastor view being faith based and the licensed counselor view as well being in health care. Be there , show up, listen. It has resources and reminds us to call the suicide prevention line. We cannot save the world by ourselves but we can make a difference - start with one child.

[Shelley O'Brien · Rating 4 out of 5]

Provides tools for empathizing with kids and helping them feel safe, teaching them how to respond to negative self-talk, and leading them to a place of logical processing where they can "emotionally exhale" and become capable of managing stress and their emotions on their own. Note: The authors' Christian faith is emphasized throughout e.g., God has amazing plans for you which might not resonate with some readers.

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Given the significant increase in levels of anxiety and depression among young people, Hutcherson's short but powerful book is timely and helpful. It is written to parents, youth pastors, and other adults who want to care for, invest, and develop young people. The simple advice is powerful. Hutcherson insists that we can make a difference in hurting kids...and we must. Easy read, but you need time to digest.

[Costas Papadopoulos · Rating 4 out of 5]

Surprisingly practical advice

Aside from the spiritual references to God, which may resonate with others more than myself, this book has some very practical advice on how to raise, happy, confident kids and navigate through periods/situations of despair. I definitely learned something from this one.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

A short little book on helping your kids navigate despair with a psychological and Christian perspective. I like books where Christianity and science coexist. This one's a good starting place, but it's pretty basic, so I'd recommend diving into some of the other resources recommended for a more nuanced perspective if this one sparks an interest for you.

[Alicia O'Donnell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great resource. It’s a quick and easy to process read; I love when I read a book like this and can immediately implement ideas and strategies. It is written from a Christian viewpoint, but I think many people would find it helpful, it’s not heavy on biblical references. Highly recommend for anyone with kids and teens in their life.

[Garrett Bagwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every caring adult in the life of a kid or teenager in today’s world must read this book. It is a simple but profound diagnostic into the life of the teenage mind. This book provides practical tips and serves as a guide for leaders and pastors and parents who see the hurt this generation is facing and have a deep desire to help.

[Mary Wade · Rating 5 out of 5]

Practical Tools for Parents

Used this book in a church small group of parents whose teenagers are struggling with anxiety & depression. The book is fantastic because it gives specific, practical tools for parents to use to help their children who are struggling with strong emotions. I would recommend it for teachers, youth leaders or anyone who works with adolescents.

[John Frias · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hutcherson and Williams put together the superpowers of a pastor and counselor. The outline of the book is that distress occurs when the right and left brains are not tracking together. Their work provides the tools to repair it. It's a great little book on how to help those who are struggling with anxiety.

The main idea: if people feel seen, then they'll feel worthy.

[Jeneece Western · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great resource for people, who like me, are constantly feeling like they are not enough and want to make sure they are doing enough (or more!) For the kids we are raising. Very Christian and relatively short so it makes it feel like you can incorporate at least some of it quickly and rejuvenate your capability as a parent, if it is waning.

[Sophie Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. This was really good, extremely practical, and filled with helpful counsel for parents, youth workers, and caring adults for kids and teens. I learned so much. An excellent resource that I will be returning to often.

[Paul Triller · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have your own kids or in any way are involved in the lives of kids (teachers, coach, counselor) read this book!
I wish I had it as my girls were growing up. The sage advice and "doable" suggestions are understandable and achievable.