Parent Nation: Unlocking Every Child's Potential, Fulfilling Society's Promise

by Dana Suskind, Lydia Denworth (Primary Contributor)

***INSTANT New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today Bestseller***
2023 Gold Winner — Nautilus Book Award

World-class pediatric surgeon, social scientist, and best-selling author of Thirty Million Words Dr. Dana Suskind returns with a revelatory new look at the neuroscience of early childhood development—and how it can guide us toward a future in which every child has the opportunity to fulfill their potential.

Her prescription for this more prosperous and equitable future, as clear as it is powerful, is more robust support for parents during the most critical years of their children’s development. In her poignant new book, Parent Nation , written with award-winning science writer Lydia Denworth, Dr. Suskind helps parents recognize both their collective identity and their formidable power as custodians of our next generation.

Weaving together the latest science on the developing brain with heart-breaking and relatable stories of families from all walks of life, Dr. Suskind shows that the status quo—scores of parents convinced they should be able to shoulder the enormous responsibility of early childhood care and education on their own—is not only unsustainable, but deeply detrimental to the wellbeing of children, families, and society.
 
Anyone looking for a blueprint for how to build a brighter future for our children will find one in Parent Nation . Informed by the science of foundational brain development as well as history, political science, and the lived experiences of families around the country, this book clearly outlines how society can and should help families meet the developmental needs of their children. Only then can we ensure that all children are able to enjoy the promise of their potential.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Education, Family, Audiobook

320 pages, Hardcover

Published April 26, 2022

About the author

Professor Dana Suskind, MD, is both founder and director of the Thirty Million Words Initiative, which is based on scientific research that demonstrates the critical importance of early language exposure on the developing child. Dr. Suskind received the University of Chicago Medical Faculty Award as “Distinguished Leader in Program Innovation.” She is an advisor on Hillary Clinton’s Too Small to Fail initiative and part of the White House initiative on creating a pathway to ending the achievement gap. She lives in Chicago, Illinois.

Reviews

[Justus · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm in the minority of finding this book pretty terrible even though I probably agree with everything the author writes. Goodreads says it is 320 pages but that's a bit misleading since 1/4 of the book is action guide, discussion guide, notes, index, etc. The actual book itself is only about 240 pages. It is somehow too long, too short, too narrow, and too broad all at the same time.

Too long: the book is absolutely padded with ridiculously long anecdotes that serve little purpose. Instead of jumping to the point we get someone's entire life story. Kimberly Montez didn't have paid maternity leave when her prematurely born daughter spent almost 3-months in a NICU. But to get to that point takes six pages (remember, the book is only ~240 pages or so!). We learn that Kimberly was born outside of Houston and had heart defect when she was a born. Her mother worked for the state. But she got the surgery she needed and eventually got degrees from Yale, Stanford, and Harvard. She worked in San Diego, Boston, and North Carolina. She miscarried once. Does any of this really add to the point? It's just pointless padding.

A more egregious example of pointless padding with useless anecdotes is the 4 pages devoted to the Sewall family. Who lived in the 1600s. Their older son didn't start any kind of schooling until aged 8 and went on to be a bit of an underachiever. Their youngest son started schooling at age 2 and went on to be a Harvard valedictorian. This is supposed to prove her point that kids need more "education" from ages 0-3. Surely a scientist like Suskind knows this kind of anecdote is pointless? And couldn't she find a more recent anecdote than something that happened 400 years ago!?

Too short: What is the actual point Suskind is trying to make? What is she arguing for? At times it feels like she's making the fairly narrow argument that kids aged 0-3 need help from their parents to develop their brains and their parents need help knowing that's something they should be doing and how to do it. This part is reasonably well done and the prescriptions are fairly straightforward for the most part. During wellness visits during the first year of a child's life, pediatricians need to spend more than a few minutes checking vitals and help educate parents on this kind of thing. Pediatricians need to take a more team-based approach instead of working in silos, since no one can be an expert on everything.

But Suskind also makes motions towards all kinds of bigger, fairly unrelated points. Remember the anecdote about parental leave? So is she also arguing that we need federal parental leave policies? Sort of! But in a very half-hearted way. And there's an anecdote about Michael a father who spent five years in jail, away from his young children, simply awaiting trial for a crime he didn't commit. As soon as it finally got to trial he was immediately found not guilty. What exactly is the take away from this anecdote? That we also need to totally reform the criminal justice system? I mean...I'm okay with that but Suskind barely develops that argument. Or the story of Jade who grew up wanting to be a stay-at-home mom but after she had two kids, discovered that she needed to work at Starbucks part-time to help afford health insurance. What's the takeaway here? That health insurance should be free for everyone? That all wages should be high enough to allow everyone to be a stay-at-home mom if they want, regardless of how many children they choose to have? Talia's anecdote is about leaving the workforce because day care cost more than her salary would be. So we should also have heavily state subsidized day care?

I'm actually in favor of all of these things but Suskind is barely interested in actually developing a sustained argument in favor of any of these things. They feel more like random asides to show how hard it is to be a parent in modern America. As a parent I agree! But the whole thing feels like hollow mood affiliation than anything actually useful.

And that's before she starts bringing racism and inequality into things to make everything even broader. We need to fix that, too. All in the 240 pages!

Aside from the aforementioned changes about educating parents on brain development wellness visits in a child's first year...what is Suskind even arguing for here? It feels like she refuses to make herself clear because she doesn't want to alienate much of her audience.

She has vague bromides that parents should unite as a single political force. But what concrete things is she arguing for? Go back and check: Universal health care. State subsidies for day care. Federal paid parental leave policies. Maybe something about "living wages" (so Jade can be a stay-at-home mom with two kids)? (Oh and reforming the entire criminal justice system so Michael doesn't miss out on five years with his kids.) Something about racism and inequality? Those things are already in the national argument and people who are parents vote against them on a regular basis. Suskind doesn't even really grapple with this reality.

I understand Suskind's frustrations with all of those things. But nothing she writes here is remotely close to a developed argument. Except for the stuff about brain development from ages 0-3. She should have just stuck to that. But she already wrote a book about that in 2015 called Thirty Million Words: Building a Child's Brain. So...probably just go read that instead.

[Kristina Rogers · Rating 2 out of 5]

I struggled through this book which was a bit of a surprise because I work in early childhood and have a 1 year old AND I *mostly* agree with her. But Suskind's poor word choice throughout made me question whether our values were aligned and whether she was the right person to write this book. And while I agree with many of her conclusions, the way she talked about the issues was very off-putting.

Like she kept referring to children's success and productivity in a very limited, business-oriented sense - the importance of developing workers for tomorrow 🤢. She would also show how convoluted bandaid programs could help families navigate the 0-5 years rather than actually reimagining the whole thing. There's one story that is supposed to be a good example of how a parent is allowed to bring her 3 month old into the office... But like, just extend paid leave? And then she stans Starbucks for being an empathetic employer without mentioning the union busting and scaling back of benefits over the last 15 years.

And don't get me started on her use of parentheses. I suppose it gave an intimate view of her personal biases? Like she'd say "blah blah blah, parents don't know enough about X." And top it off with (And not just low income parents.)

There are so many brilliant policy folks in the early childhood world and I just don't think Suskind deserves the celebrity she had received.

[Genevieve Trono · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Parent Nation, Dr. Dana Suskind shares meticulously thorough research, combining medical science and social science of early childhood development to reframe the idea that any of us were meant to be raising children on our own.

Her writing is accessible and inclusive and also includes an action guide that makes this book not only thought provoking but also proactive. ⚡️⁣
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What our children need is a web of support, from medical professionals, teachers and childcare providers to friends, and other parents in our communities. #ParentNation shows us a blueprint of how, because for many families, the potential is there but there are many barriers to overcome. 💗⁣
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"If children are our future, supported, empowered parents are the key to a just, equitable, and thriving nation." 🌎⁣

Thank you to Dutton Books for my gifted review copy. As always, all thoughts and opinions are my own.

[Marina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve really enjoyed the audio version of this book!

I am a new mother, and what I enjoyed about this book can be summarized in 3 quick points;


- I enjoyed the stories of real parents, which were woven into scientific concepts in beautiful ways. They made the theories presented more relevant as well as supplied me with comfort in knowing the struggles I face as a mother are felt by others. Though some were heartbreaking, others were encouraging, and all were wholesome.

- I enjoyed the theories and support presented. Change is necessary and this book does an excellent job at pointing out why, providing successful, unsuccessful and “somewhere in the middle” examples of how change has been attempted already, and articulates how we might try again as a collective society.

- I learned a lot! While this book is written to encourage a better environment for parents (which translates to a better environment for children) it also incorporates practical activities to do at home with children to encourage brain development.


A great read! 4 stars only because at times, it was a bit slow -but as a reader who typically gravitates toward fiction and fantasy, that really is just a personal preference. If only rating non-fiction literature, 5 stars all the way!

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

At once maddening and inspiring, this book is full of fascinating science and relatable stories that truly illustrate how broken our system of caring for children, parents, and families really is. I love that it includes suggested solutions at both the systemic and individual levels.

[Arjun · Rating 4 out of 5]

Parent nation is a book that tries to do several things. For starters, it is the story of the journey of Dana Suskind, a paediatric cochlear implant surgeon, who becomes the founder director of the Thirty Million Words centre for early learning + public health. It is also a summary of her observations from this journey about unlocking the full potential of a child by focusing on the early years of brain development. It is also a clarion call for all parents to unite and fight for better childcare support from the decision makers and centres of power.

As a new parent, my interest in the book was primarily the science-based ideas of parenting. I was a bit ashamed when I realized that I knew very little about the dominant role of the first three years in setting the foundation of brain development and the emphasis on language learning (especially, getting exposed to more words) in forming strong neural connections that sets up the basis of every other faculty. Suskind also beautifully summed up parenting in three words for me: security, engagement and time. These three words have become beacons for me and has tremendously influenced my perspective on parenting. If I am asked to take just one point out of this book, it would be this! I also loved how she crystallized all the scientific results into three essential actionable points: the three Ts, Tuning in, Talking, and Taking Turns.

However, the book was also much more than the science of early brain development in kids. There is a statistical comparison of how early childcare and support can actually cause a considerable difference in the abilities of children when they are school-ready. This gap becomes more yawning as the years go by and create economic inequalities that are almost irreparable. The book discusses the American history of childcare and how, at the cusp of history, the Americans prioritized individualism over childcare legislation (the infamous veto of the Comprehensive Child Development Act by President Richard Nixon) which has resulted in a childcare infrastructure that is in tatters today. It also puts forth several interesting anecdotes (too many of them, I think!) that provide startling realization about how early intervention can create huge differences in the growth and fulfilment trajectory of a child. I specifically liked the story of Hazim Hardeman, whose mother bluffed about her home address to get him enrolled in a school in a better suburb and not the school near their home, which was derelict. I also loved Randy, the hardworking gig-worker father who was ready to leave no stone unturned to ensure that his kid got a good head-start at school. The stories were really inspiring and got me thinking about myself in their shoes.

I could also resonate well with the author's metaphor of the river and the need for getting her kids to the other bank. From a most dreaded tragedy to touching so many lives, Dana Suskind is really an inspirational story herself.

I would have loved to refer back to a summary page which contained the key points from each chapter, especially because of the many anecdotes, which at times, had me confused and flipping back and forth. Nevertheless, this book is a delightful read for any parent and I would certainly recommend it to all new parents I know.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

"If children are our future, supported, empowered parents are the key to a just, equitable, and thriving nation."

Thank you Dutton Books for the #gifted copy of PARENT NATION!

PARENT NATION is incredibly timely. And not just because I have a beautiful 10 month old son. It feels like the discussion of the lack of support for families with young children is finally becoming more prevalent. We still don’t have a COV!D vaccine for children under 5. We still don’t have nationwide paid family leave. We still don’t have free childcare or even universal pre-K. All of these support systems will allow parents to bond with their children, relieve the immense stress of being a new parent and set children up for success when they enter their school-age years and then later the workforce.

The lack of support for a new parent starts at day one. Once you give birth, you have ONE follow up appointment with your OB-GYN. I had several postnatal appointments due to complications during the end of my pregnancy and so I am one of the few women I know who has had more extensive postnatal care. But that is not the norm!

“Put simply, children need three things during the early years: security (i.e., protection from toxic stress), enrichment (i.e., rich language input), and time (i.e., the opportunity for nurturing interactions with caregivers). What their parents need is the ability to provide these things for their kids.”

In PARENT NATION, Dr. Dana Suskind highlights the importance of the first few years of a child’s life for brain development. It is maddening to realize that this time in my son’s life is vital for shaping his brain and yet I was only able to take 3 months of partially paid maternity leave to spend with him.

I hope that as a country we finally decide that babies and young children are important and take steps to support families through the early years.

PARENT NATION is available now!

[Courtney Cameron-Young · Rating 4 out of 5]

The message of this book is scientifically grounded and compelling: The first three years of a child's life are a vital "make or break" window for cognitive development. It's here that a child's intellectual potential is either nurtured or culled. Quality, language-rich interactions with parents and primary caregivers are essential to brain development. I loved the author's message that education begins at b irth!
Sadly, compared with other developed nations, the United States is uniquely unsupportive of parents. We strive to be globally competitive, but we take a robust machete to the exposed heel of our societal potential with our callous lack of paid parental leave, absence of affordable childcare, and inadequate healthcare. The author cited studies supporting these theses and offered vivid real-world, emotionally jarring examples of what the studies illustrate.

Honestly, this book was inspiring - I love how the author reframed ideas of short and long-term investment in societal outcomes. Allowing workers to be parents isn't antithetical to capitalism - it actually fuels production. I appreciate how clearly she articulated the idea of "brain architecture" and illustrated how parents/caregivers occupy an integral role in brain-building and nurturing cognitive potential. My biggest peeve is that she didn't pave a direct way forward. There wasn't a clear, specific call to action. The author vaguely suggested the idea of parents voting as a bloc and describes coalescing in a union-style fashion. I'm googling what I can do to help/

[Jeremy Reppy · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Parent Nation" is an informative and important book about the need for American society, employers, government entities, etc. to prioritize early childhood education and care, and to provide parents with the resources and support they need to give their children the best possible start in life. The author discusses the importance of parents spending time with and interacting with their children in the first three years of life, when brain development is at its most critical stage. She also discusses the various barriers that many parents face, especially lower income and minority parents (because of the disproportionate percentage of minority parents who are in the lower income bracket), but also middle class or upper-class families, in providing the necessary time, care, and interaction with their young children -- inability to afford to be a stay-at-home parent if one so desires; low-paying jobs and/or the need to work multiple jobs to make ends meet; lack of paid parental leave or inadequate paid leave; inadequate childcare options; pricey childcare; and an insufficient social safety net when illness, injury, or crisis strikes. The author gives examples of policies and programs in the US and in other countries that seek to provide the necessary support, and the significant benefits that some of these programs bring. The book identifies resources for readers who want more information, as well as avenues for advocacy to help bring about the recommended changes.

I received a copy of the e-book via NetGalley in exchange for a review.

[Jenny GB · Rating 2 out of 5]

Suskind argues in this book that parents need a few things to help them raise their kids - basic knowledge of how to support their children, time with their children, high-quality childcare, a good home environment, and support from employers/society. Most of the book dwells on these things and tells lengthy personal stories that indicate the struggles parents have in obtaining these supports. Finally, the conclusion tries to inject hope that better things are coming soon.

I just don't understand this book. Who is Suskind's audience? If her audience is parents she's talking to people who already know these issues and don't need to read 260 pages about them. If the audience is people who know nothing about the difficulties parents face that seems like someone who is pretty naive if they need it all explained to them. It just takes a long time to lay out the same information over and over. I would have preferred more information about what needs to be done than the two pages of suggested ways to get involved. I'm probably nitpicking here, but I was also annoyed by the continuous cramming in of her organization and the 3 T's from Suskind's previous book. Also, every personal story has a happy ending, which doesn't feel realistic and I think gives a wrong impression that it doesn't matter if anyone fixes these problems because people will just figure out a way to deal with it. I was expecting something more from this book and I was ultimately disappointed.

[AnnieM · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I had this book 20 years ago when I was a new mother! Dr. Suskind's meticulously researched and highly informative book reframes the myth of parents needing to be able to figure it out on their own (and as we know there has not been a blueprint on how to ensure we are doing all we can to nurture brain development in early childhood). Fortunately Dr. Suskind has finally provided a blueprint for all of us to create what she calls a "Parent Nation" - the recognition that we can't parent alone - but we all need a web of support with early child care, education, social service, medical professionals and other parents. She also shares stories of parents and children throughout that add living examples (including her own family and tragic story).

At the end of the book she shares an action guide and discussion guide. This book is a call to action for all of us and has tangible, practical solutions that we can implement in our own homes and communities.
Thank you to Netgalley and Penguin Group Dutton for providing me with an advanced copy. My review is my own opinion.

[Kelly Paradis · Rating 5 out of 5]

At once heartbreaking and inspiring, Parent Nation by Dana Suskind is a call to action to protect and nurture future generations. Social supports in the United States make it impossible for many parents to provide kids with the level of interaction they need in the first few years of life to support healthy brain development. This, coupled with the fact that the majority of parents don't receive any guidance about how to nurture brain development in their kids, leads to startling inequities between socioeconomic classes, and a terrible loss of talent and brilliance. Anyone who cares about children, which should be all of us since this is the same as caring about the future of humanity, needs to read and act on the information on this book.

Thank you do Dana Suskind, Penguin Group, and NetGalley for access to this free e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

[Marina Nitze · Rating 5 out of 5]

Parent Nation is a really practical series of steps towards supporting ALL parents, and in doing so, supporting ALL children. I work in foster care which can generally feeling like an overwhelming, unsolvable problem... but the key is to find small steps, any steps, that we can take to improve it, one child at a time. Dana takes a very similar approach, albeit with a larger audience of children (all children!). How can we enable everyone interacting with children to be able to do the 3Ts (tune in, talk more, and take turns) as often as possible? There are steps for everyone. For example, if you're a parent yourself, you can do the 3Ts with your children, encourage your pediatrician's office to discuss healthy brain development with every parent, and advocate for better parental leave policies at your child's daycare.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an excellent read for parents, librarians, doctors, caregivers, and anyone who is looking for a positive and sustainable future society (ie: everyone). I preferred the audiobook to the physical one because the delivery was easier to follow and internalize, but both are equally good. I especially love the idea if being a “brain architect” and have already started using that phrase in conversations with others. It is well researched and filled with convincing facts, and the fact that it’s written by a doctor enhances its credibility in a lot of ways. Regardless of your feelings about 30 million words, this book is an important addition to the global literary canon.

[Themountainbookie · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book fell flat of my expectations. The book is pretty repetitive. I wish the book had given more concrete examples of best practices that we “parents” can do for our kids. The book was really about lack of quality childcare in America. However I felt really never spelled out what quality childcare looks like. I felt the book could have shown studies of the long term differences between kids with quality childcare and kids without. I wish the book highlight some of the authors work and what her foundation does. I wouldn’t recommend this book to others. Since the author repeats themselves a lot it gets to be a boring read. There are better parenting books out there.

[Michael Baroody · Rating 5 out of 5]

An investigation into the importance of early (pre-pre-k) development on the human brain and the socioeconomic barriers that exist for parents to provide the optimal early learning environment for their children. By presenting an overview of evidence showing how critical early language exposure is (among other factors) for the young brain in determining future success, and by showing how far behind we are as a nation in helping parents be their children's "brain architects," Suskind brings a necessary urgency to the issue.

[Amy Morales Baum · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I appreciate that the author is willing to update her original work in Thirty Million Words with the science, I did not find this book to be very engaging. I couldn’t agree more with the ideas and principles laid out about the importance of the need for policies and supports for children and parents from day one but I don’t find any of the content to be new ideas to support this cause. Possibly the book can help those outside of the early childhood world learn more about the realities and solutions needed for our youngest citizens.

[Hanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought that this book was well-researched, timely, informative, & accessible. I loved it—& have recommended it to loads of friends. I appreciated the author’s focus on the important brain development that happens from birth to age 3 and how poverty and toxic stress can distrust important brain development. The author included lots of stories to illustrate her points and draw parallels between how our society is structure and the impact that it has on individual families.

[Ana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish this book had existed before I had children. As a European living in the US, I have always taken aback by how little support families get here. Reading about the hope and possibilities of changing this reality was eye opening. I definitely recommend it for parents, and I wish it was mandatory reading for politicians. Maybe then they would start to understand how hard parenting can be in the US even in the best of circumstances.

[Alana · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first, I was wondering what this brain addressed that the predecessor "Thirty Million Words" hadn't. But I do appreciate that the points of the last book were more concisely presented while discussing other systematic factors that need to be addressed to truly ensure that the most kids can have their best shot at life. It's not a book that illuminates problems; it proposes solutions and highlights what's worked around the globe.

[Henry Spencer · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was a great read. I was worried it would be to wonky, but the stories made it really interesting. Not exactly something that I would read to my kids going to bed, but a great conversation starter among my friends. Would be interested in a book club option if the publisher/author provides that material.

[Ikrom Omonov · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gives too much credit for child care services in the military. While it may be better than state child care services they are far from being excellent. It takes on average about 6-12 months to get a spot. Child care aware program is a joke and full of bureaucracy. However, I do agree with the author that this nation must invest child care services more.

[Julie Warford · Rating 5 out of 5]

“It is the ability to see someone else’s child as your own, and to support their parents as they strive to cross the raging torrent.” Why do we continue to be ranked as one of the lowest countries in the world to invest in children?! Another book with so many points to prove how investing in early childhood will benefit ALL of us, whether we have young children or not!

[Jenny Mac · Rating 4 out of 5]

Packed full of research, well laid out and even though it had plenty of facts because she set them out with stories of people she had interacted with it kept the story engaging. I, unlike some other reviewers, liked that she included these stories because without them the book may not have been as long but it would certainly have been dry.

[Jen Smirnova · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've really wanted to like this book but found myself wanting to drop the book on numerous occasions. Although I agree with many of the author’s ideas, I found the flow too disjointed and the overall message too repetitive. I would give another go at Suskin’s earlier work about brain development in the early years, but I would pass on this one.

[Alyssa · Rating 5 out of 5]

While Dr. Suskind can’t fix the problems in the United States, she offers information to help guide us toward solutions and provides a ton of information that can help anyone who works and/or lives with young children to enrich the time together - or even support choices caregivers are already making!

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting book with a lot of evidence-based information tied in with economics and political decision making. The focus on the United States, however, makes it less relevant to those who are not American.

[Hugo Salas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Evidence on the effectiveness of early childhood ed programs, case studies and advocacy for a more progressive welfare state that could improve the circumstances under which many parents live. Would have liked for it to dig deeper into the research (as I usually do), but overall enjoyed reading it.

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone who has children or works in education, policy making, or owns a business should read this book. The society painted in this sounds like a dream, yet a totally possible one if businesses chose to put families first, to the immense benefit of everyone in society.

[Philip Book · Rating 5 out of 5]

Was worried that it would be too wonky, but was actually very accessible. Loved the stories. My wife cried at the river metaphor. I did not, but was still very sad.