The Modern Loss Handbook: An Interactive Guide to Moving Through Grief and Building Your Resilience

by Rebecca Soffer

“Poignant, funny, and able to provide exercises that help you maneuver the rough . . . if I were going through something, this is the book I want to read.” —Gayle King

Stay connected to your person, yourself, and the world around you in the aftermath of loss.
 
Modern Loss is all about eradicating the stigma and awkwardness around grief while also focusing on our capacity for resilience and finding meaning. In this interactive guide, Modern Loss cofounder Rebecca Soffer offers candid, practical, and witty advice for confronting a future without your person, honoring their memory, dealing with trigger days, managing your professional life, and navigating new and existing relationships. You’ll find no worn-out platitudes or empty assurances here. With prompts, creative projects, innovative rituals, therapeutic-based exercises, and more, this is the place to explore the messy, long arc of loss on your own timeline—and without judgment.

Genres: Self Help, Grief, Nonfiction, Psychology

240 pages, Hardcover

First published May 17, 2022

Reviews

[Jennifer ~ TarHeelReader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m drawn to books about grief and loss, whether they be fiction or nonfiction. Like the author of this handbook, I believe grief is an individual journey. The Modern Loss Handbook is filled with interactive activities and thoughtful prompts. It’s a judgment-free zone, and a path you can tailor to your own needs.

Personally, I’m grateful to have this as a tool in my arsenal to help me process feelings I often keep to myself. Sometimes we can overwhelm others or even ourselves with intense emotions, and the activities here are a great way to channel those feelings into something perhaps productive and most importantly healing.

Bottom line, what impresses me most is the practicality of the methods within the book. I’ve had many a self-help book that were theoretical and wordy, but this book is all about the practice in a user-friendly format.

I received a gifted copy.

Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com and instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader

[Susan Ballard (subakkabookstuff) · Rating 4 out of 5]

We all will experience loss at some time in our life. And we all grieve differently.

My most recent experience with loss and grief came when my childhood friend lost her partner of over 30 years to MS. For the last few years, she had become his sole caregiver. As I walked through her grief with her, I can admit that, at times, I struggled to find the right words; I never wanted to be contrite or overly optimistic. I tried to be a genuine friend, ensuring she knew I was always available.

So, why do I tell you all this? Because Rebecca Soffer has written a wonderful handbook for those grieving or those supporting others in their loss.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐧 𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 is part guidebook, journal, and toolbox for moving forward in your grief. I wish I had this years ago, but I gleaned so much from it, and I highly recommend it to those in a season of sorrow in their lives.

Thank you @suzyapprovedbooktour @rebeccasoffer, @modernloss and @runningpressbooks for this gifted copy.

[Chelsie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this is one of the few beneficial grief books out there. This is a different type of book- you can pick it up when you want, and however your feeling that day you can go to that section. This book does a great job at breaking grief down, and helping you to think about things, as well as express your grief and it's ok. This is not the usual grief book that gives you the text book lines everyone does - it's ok to feel that way, you just will learn to live with the grief, grief is something we all have and carry... This book helps you get through tough days, and to reflect while giving you a chance to write things down and use this a diary if you will. I also like that you can go back and reuse this book as many times as you want and I found that there were some sections that were useful just when having a stressful day or feeling a bit down.

Thank you to Suzy Approved Book Tours for the invite an the author for the free book. This is one that will be left on the coffee table or within site and not left to get dusty on a shelf or buried in a box.

[Hily · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most helpful tools since losing a darling friend. I used this like a scrapbook. Gluing pictures and little pieces of memories on every page. There were very few pages I didn’t find useful, and on those I just covered them entirely in photos. Rip Heidi- I miss you everyday girl❤️

[Sarah W · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this is a great guide for someone processing grief. I loved how it was set up in sections so that you could “skip” a section and go to the part is impacting you the most during the day. Some sections might not help everyone (since we all process differently), and the author acknowledged that, but the writing prompts help you process your thoughts and make you remember things about your person that you might not typically think about during grieving times. While my people I’ve grieved for have been gone for some years this book helped bring them back closer to me. I liked how some sections can be used to help in other aspects of your life not just in grief. There are great tools to help destress among other things. Not only does it help process your own grief, but it has do’s and don’t about helping others in their time. This is a book you can refer back to as many times as you need.

Thank you @modernloss @rebeccasoffer @runningpressbooks and @suzyapprovedbooktours for the gifted copy.

[Miss W Book Reviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Modern Loss Handbook is an Interactive Guide to Moving Through Grief and Building Your Resilence.

Personally, having experienced so much loss in my life, I was a bit skeptical but open minded when I opened this book .

The book is full of advice for how to deal with your loss and seeing what your future self looks like without that person.

I think her advice about trigger days is very good. Mother's Day is a huge trigger day for me so I found some great resources in that part of the handbook.

And that is what this really is , a handbook with exercises to complete and a place to write your thoughts.

I found this helpful as my mom's birthday was recently and I miss her every single day.

This is a book I will go back to again and again , as grief hits me every day and finding a way to move on from it would be wonderful and I think this is the book that can help with that.

[Dawnny · Rating 5 out of 5]

This handbook is for anyone who has lost someone. This encourages you find meaning and move forward. I became a widow suddenly and it totally blew me away. I wish I had this book right after my husband passed. I like how each chapter relates to different things in your life such as, memories, triggers, and dealing with family and friends as well as the stigmas placed on grief and loss in society. This is a great handbook full of tips and prompts with areas to write things down and it wasn't preachy. I will be passing this book along to a friend who is a widow. Everyone will experience loss at some point. Most of us have. This definitely guides you to a better understanding and perspective.


Dawnny Ruby
Novels N Latte
Hudson Valley NY

[Kate M · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really honest look at how it feels when someone says something stupid to someone who just experienced a loss. I will be sharing a lot of what I learned from this book, from the information about grief, the self-care ideas, and the boundary setting tips.

[Tricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

An exceptional book on how to hold space for your grief and actually live with it after you lose your person. I highly recommend for anyone in any stage of grief after profound loss.

[Amie · Rating 5 out of 5]

My son died summer of 2022. This book was gifted to me by Erica Mandy of The Newsworthy podcast after having the author on one of her episodes. I had commented saying how certain parts of their conversation had touched me as I was going through my grief.

I have been reading it for 6 months or so, only picking it up when I had the heart to delve into my sorrow. This is not a how-to or a book of advice—it is more a workbook put together by a group called Modern Loss detailing real life thoughts, feelings, reactions, hopes, fears, setbacks, conversations, achievements, and so much more. Certain parts of it I just cried through. Certain parts I just nodded emphatically, seeing my own thoughts displayed so well in her words on the page. And certain parts were damn near therapeutic as I went through the exercises.

She keeps it real, she uses real language, and I love that this book does not encourage a Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow attitude.

I could say more, but the truth is likely very few of my GoodReads friends will ever need this kind of book (at least I don’t think so and I hope not—but no one ever knows what is going on behind closed doors. Right?) so I’ll keep my review as such.

[Erik Qualman · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The Modern Loss Handbook: An Interactive Guide to Moving Through Grief and Building Your Resilience," authored by Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle Birkner, serves as a beacon of hope and practical guidance for those traversing the challenging landscape of grief. This book stands out for its innovative approach, transforming readers from passive participants into active ones through a series of interactive exercises, prompts, and reflective passages. It acts not just as a source of comfort but as a hands-on toolkit for personal growth and resilience in the face of loss.

What makes this handbook truly resonate is its deeply personal touch, enriched by the authors' own experiences with loss, alongside a collection of diverse narratives that reflect the universal yet unique nature of grieving. These stories provide readers with a sense of camaraderie, offering both solace and a mirror to their own experiences, thus breaking the isolation often felt in times of sorrow.

The handbook is meticulously designed to demystify the process of grief, encouraging an openness and providing readers with the language needed to express their feelings. This not only aids in personal healing but also sparks much-needed conversations about loss in today's world, where public and private spaces for mourning are continuously evolving.

With its visually appealing layout, "The Modern Loss Handbook" also prioritizes accessibility and user engagement, ensuring that readers find not just content but also comfort in its pages. This strategic design choice underscores the importance of community and shared understanding in the healing journey.

In essence, "The Modern Loss Handbook" is more than just a book; it's a vital companion for anyone navigating through the darkness of loss. Its blend of interactive content and heartfelt stories offers a new pathway towards resilience, making it an indispensable resource for those seeking to find light amidst the shadows of grief.

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book offers direct, practical, and funny advice on how you can live a life without your special person. The author talks about how to honor their memory, deal with triggers, and manage your career and relationships. The author shares everything she learned from her own experience with grief and from the experts she worked with across the spectrum of wellness and therapy, mental health, suffering, the arc of loss, and the incredible members of the Modern Loss community. The handbook also includes prompts, projects, exercises, and different ways that will help people deal with loss on their own timeline and without judgment.

This is one of the best grief resources for mental health, helpful and funny. This book is meant to help us stay connected to our people, stay connected to ourselves, and stay connected to the world around us even in grief. I think the "handbook" title doesn't really define the book. Even though it is a handbook and workbook you can use, it is also a deep and personal guide that provides a box of tools we can use in different situations of grief.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://www.momsdonthavetimetoreadboo...

[Debbie Rozier · Rating 5 out of 5]

Part of life is death and we will at some time in our lives loose those people we hold dear. This book is a rich combination of workbook, personal insights, and ideas to help navigate the grief.

Rebecca has done a wonderful job making all feel welcome in using this book. She states to use this book in whatever manner that suits you and come and go in this book as needed.

The book has highlighted in blue important points Rebecca wants all to remember on our grief journey. One highlighted portion that has really stayed with me is that even though your person has died, you continue to be in a relationship with them and through loss the relationship changes but is never taken away.

I found the section on trigger days to be helpful especially the ideas to acknowledge the day.

Another section I felt important to me was working through to see if seeking a professional to help deal with grief would be a good fit.

Favorite thing in this book..the grief stickers.

There are so many useful tools in this book that really will help everyone stay connected to your person while acknowledging the current state of you and the world around you.

[Christy Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is honestly the  first book related to loss/grief that I’ve ever found helpful. Rebecca Soffer’s approach is relatable. It’s gracious and sometimes it’s even entertaining. It’s very obvious from the beginning and throughout the book that this was developed by someone who has dealt with loss. There is a lot that I appreciate about this book and some highlights include:

- It’s a workbook/handbook with prompts and exercises to help us work through our feelings.
- “Think like a crab. Remember that if something isn’t resonating with you, you can always pivot and see what works better.”
- “Don’t think of grief as a wall to scale but rather as a wall to walk alongside - one you can decorate, too.”
- A permission slip to pass on “celebrations” this time around.

I could list so many more examples but ultimately I hope you will consider this book for yourself and as a gift for others.  Unfortunately we have all experienced loss and will experience more in the future.  I find it comforting to know that I’ll have this book to help me moving forward.

[Melissa Levens · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Modern Loss Handbook, An Interactive Guide to Moving Through Grief and Building Your Resilience
Author, Rebecca Soffer
Pub date: 5.17.22

Thank you @suzyapprovedbooktours, @modernloss, and @runningpressbooks for my #gifted copy of this interactive and hopeful handbook!

The Modern Loss Handbook is a compassionate and comforting guide that allows you to stay connected with your loved one and yourself during your sadness and grief. It is a beautifully illustrated handbook filled with prompts, rituals, and exercises that allow you to navigate through one of life's harder experiences. Filled with empathy, hope, and practical information, The Modern Loss Handbook aids in building resilience and finding meaning after loss. It's beautiful and heartbreaking, hopeful and necessary.

~ "Life and death are intimately linked; this book will help you weave your grief into your life in a way that is practical, creative, comforting, provoking, a bit fun, and finally, hopeful." ~ Rebecca Soffer

[Booksandcoffeemx · Rating 4 out of 5]

𝘉𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘧𝘶𝘭!

One of the things I learned after losing my father and some years later my mother is that grief is not something you get over it, it’s something that will become a part of your life and you’ll learn to leave with it.
This book was such a gift, it was warm, funny, reassuring, empowering, honest, raw and just what I needed to read.

“𝘎𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘣 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳. 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳-𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧.”

Thank you Suzy Approved Book Tours and Running Press for this tour invite.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗻 𝗟𝗼𝘀𝘀 𝗛𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸 by Rebecca Soffer Modern Loss released May 17, 2022.

https://www.instagram.com/booksandcof...

[BreeAnn (She Just Loves Books) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a helpful guide for someone after they have lost a person in their life. I really like that there are a wide variety of tools throughout the book to assist someone. There's the advice you would expect to find, but there's so much more. There are project ideas, help on managing work-life, exercises, and so much more. I think this could be a really helpful tool as someone lives with the loss of another.

I was provided a gifted copy of this book for free. I am leaving my review voluntarily.

[Lila · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grief is not a one way path. This book helped realize that things to change after losing someone and that is okay. Friendships might not be the same, and that is also okay. I can handle my grief however I want as long as it isn’t harming myself or others. I don’t need to be perfect and get over it to make others comfortable. I am who I am, and I don’t need to change.

I am glad to have gone through this book. It was a great workbook to think about things. Grief can be lonely at moments, but it doesn’t have to be.

[Bookish Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a wonderful book! It's not a book you just sit down and read cover to cover- At least not for me. It's more a book that you want to keep handy for those moments that hit you out of nowhere. It's full of tips and reminders to give yourself grace. There's no "one size fits all" when it comes to grief and there's a little bit of everything in this book. Places to write your thoughts and feelings, reflect on what you just read. All in all, this is an amazing read!

[Gretchen Nitz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I lost my husband, and this book actually helped. I have read this book, and reread sections. It never stops being handy while going through grief. It reminds you of things you thought of, but forgot. It reads different depending on your mood but is always helpful.

Give this to someone who lost someone. Read it if you haven’t lost someone so you can help your grieving friend. This book is PURE GOLD.

[Shawn Bowers · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an incredible gift for those of us on a grief journey. It offers wisdom & tips without being judgmental, gently suggesting a path forward. This book creates space to process and the physical spaces in the book to write in are a wonderful journaling tool. The touches of humor are endearing, too.

[Joanne Popeson · Rating 5 out of 5]

For anyone grieving a loved one, this book is invaluable. The author uses research, mental health professionals , humor, profanity, and advice from people who are grieving (the real experts) to guide you through your own personal grief journey.

[Teagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved that this acknowledged that we all grieve differently. It has exercises to help you be you, understand you, work through you, grow you... rather than just talking at you or telling you about you. The best. <3

[Louise Ennesser · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where was this book when I needed it? Amazingly straight forward and hits the nail on the head.

[Gayle Crossley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good practical ideas and wisdom when grieving, especially right after a loss. Heard author interviewed in NYC

[Leslie McKee · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beneficial, and unique, book for those dealing with grief.

[Becca Lewis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed going through this book. I liked all of the specific prompts it had throughout to get me to reflect on certain things.

[tatiana]

Not the best fit for me. Highlights: learned about EDMR butterfly hugs, “grief island, grief city” writing prompt, Aristotle’s three types of friendships, & the list of book recs at the end.

[Nora Alshareef · Rating 5 out of 5]

This lighthearted grief book helped me move through grief while making me laugh. I loved the tools it gave and how it normalized grief

[Lisa Albright · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is THE book that I needed to make sense of my own grief. I love that it encourages you to feel all the feelings and that they're all OK. The suggestions and journaling exercises are thought provoking and cathartic. I cried, I laughed, I wished I didn't need this book, and then I realized that I felt a little better. This is a gift that will keep on giving and necessary for anyone coping with a loss.

I received a gifted copy in exchange for an honest review.