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When They Win, You Win: Being a Great Manager Is Simpler Than You Think
From the legendary Silicon Valley manager who inspired Radical Candor , the three simple rules for creating happy, engaged teams.
Businesses everywhere are plagued by managers who seem to think that keeping their staff miserable is the best way to deliver profits. This is a failure of leadership that also hurts the bottom line; research has shown that maintaining a happy, engaged workforce consistently drives measurably better business results across the board.
In When They Win, You Win , Russ Laraway, the Chief People Officer of Goodwater Capital, provides a simple, coherent, and complete leadership standard that teaches organizational planners and managers how to develop incredible levels of employee engagement. The book identifies three key clear direction-setting, frequent coaching, and active engagement with employees on their long-term career goals.
Russ Laraway's approach to management, developed at Google, Twitter, Qualtrics, and Goodwater, shows the way to cultivate a happy, productive, and engaged team. Happy results are sure to follow―for you, your customers, your shareholders, and your employees alike.
Businesses everywhere are plagued by managers who seem to think that keeping their staff miserable is the best way to deliver profits. This is a failure of leadership that also hurts the bottom line; research has shown that maintaining a happy, engaged workforce consistently drives measurably better business results across the board.
In When They Win, You Win , Russ Laraway, the Chief People Officer of Goodwater Capital, provides a simple, coherent, and complete leadership standard that teaches organizational planners and managers how to develop incredible levels of employee engagement. The book identifies three key clear direction-setting, frequent coaching, and active engagement with employees on their long-term career goals.
Russ Laraway's approach to management, developed at Google, Twitter, Qualtrics, and Goodwater, shows the way to cultivate a happy, productive, and engaged team. Happy results are sure to follow―for you, your customers, your shareholders, and your employees alike.
296 pages, Hardcover
First published June 7, 2022
179 people are currently reading
3754 people want to read
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June 22, 2022
People Leaders - Think back to 2019. How much time did you get to spend with your individual team members? Did you fly together? Eat dinners out of town together? Spend windshield time while driving to a sales call?
Now think about the world of work in 2022. Have you been able to do any of these things over the last several years? How often have you been able to have deep conversations with your team members vs 30-minute Zoom check-ins? And how many new teammates have you hired that you have not met in person yet?
We'd like to think the pandemic is over and we are returning to "normal" but the reality is that the world of work has changed. Most of us are going to operate in a hybrid remote-first world going forward.
So if we don't have this non-Zoom time with our team that we used to have, how do we develop trusting relationships focused on helping them achieve?
This is where Russ Laraway's new book When They Win, You Win can give you some direction. Russ has operationalized a quote that I've used for a long time from Zig Ziglar "If you help enough other people get what they want out of life, you'll get what you want out of life."
The leadership tools that Russ shares focuses on three keys; Direction, Coaching, Career. He details how to build a culture around each of these areas.
The section in around Career that resonated the most with me was a tool called The Life Story Conversation. This is an opportunity to not only really focus on getting to know your team member at a deep level, but also to start to identify the values that have driven their past choices and motivators to help you support them going forward. This is a more formalized method to have those conversations that we may have casually had in the car as we wandered the countryside.
In the new world of hybrid work, leaders are going to have to be much more intentional about building relationships with their teams and Russ offers us a set of tools to successfully do just that.
Now think about the world of work in 2022. Have you been able to do any of these things over the last several years? How often have you been able to have deep conversations with your team members vs 30-minute Zoom check-ins? And how many new teammates have you hired that you have not met in person yet?
We'd like to think the pandemic is over and we are returning to "normal" but the reality is that the world of work has changed. Most of us are going to operate in a hybrid remote-first world going forward.
So if we don't have this non-Zoom time with our team that we used to have, how do we develop trusting relationships focused on helping them achieve?
This is where Russ Laraway's new book When They Win, You Win can give you some direction. Russ has operationalized a quote that I've used for a long time from Zig Ziglar "If you help enough other people get what they want out of life, you'll get what you want out of life."
The leadership tools that Russ shares focuses on three keys; Direction, Coaching, Career. He details how to build a culture around each of these areas.
The section in around Career that resonated the most with me was a tool called The Life Story Conversation. This is an opportunity to not only really focus on getting to know your team member at a deep level, but also to start to identify the values that have driven their past choices and motivators to help you support them going forward. This is a more formalized method to have those conversations that we may have casually had in the car as we wandered the countryside.
In the new world of hybrid work, leaders are going to have to be much more intentional about building relationships with their teams and Russ offers us a set of tools to successfully do just that.
January 1, 2023
There’s many management books out there from executives who haven’t worked directly with line managers and individual contributors in decades. Their management advice is philosophically sound, but often not immediately applicable to a lot (maybe most?) of people in management looking for day-to-day advice. That’s where this book comes in. It’s incredibly accessible, immediately actionable, and grounded in examples. It’s also not navel-gazy in the slightest; Russ uses as many examples of his own screw-ups as he does his successes. I also admired and appreciated how much of himself he funneled into his writing — reading it was like talking to a friend.
When I read business/management books, I often look for the eye roll moment or something my experience/intuition tells me won’t work for me. But I didn’t find one thing I’d say that about in this book. It’s a crash course in 10 other books on the subject, with stuff you can put in practice starting today. Totally worth it!
When I read business/management books, I often look for the eye roll moment or something my experience/intuition tells me won’t work for me. But I didn’t find one thing I’d say that about in this book. It’s a crash course in 10 other books on the subject, with stuff you can put in practice starting today. Totally worth it!
August 16, 2022
A must-read in my opinion. Fairly simple idea delivered well.
November 17, 2025
OK, this one will be a long one, as I've been quite impressed.
My usual disclaimer reviewing management books is that I rarely read them, but as I, myself, am a manager, I need to and I try to be selective. And yet, even being quite picky in my management books reading habits, I tend to find them repetitive, and very often self-serving to the authors ego. I mean, I get it - they are usually written by alpha personalities, and yeah, they wouldn't be able to sell books if all these books contained was the essence of their message which is usually like 10-20 pages long. So, in my experience, even the better ones I read will fall with either of the two (or both) - repetitive or self-serving. It is ok, you still learn a lot from the good ones. But it is, a fight to read them in full, most of the times.
This book is somewhat different. The author seems to recognize the pitfalls of what he is writing about, and uses (a lot of) self-deprecation to avoid the two banes I dread ;) and (IMHO) he succeeds. The book flows quite well, never difficult to follow, never boring. And being quite good at self-deprecating humor, the author is quite also good at avoiding making the book about him. Even if pretty much everything in it is his ideas and his work experience implementing them. Quite impressive indeed.
And the content of the book is not too shabby either. The idea of being closer to your reports, mentoring them and helping them grow for the future has always been close to my management style. The way the author develops it rings many bells for me, and sounds true. Now, it can be a confirmation bias, as some of the techniques discussed in the book are things I have been using since like forever, but I definitely buy what the author is selling ;) It even made me think that I would probably feel quite well reporting to this guy :)
Anyway, in short - wonderful book that can teach a manager a lot. highly recommended for every leader who wants to better the way he works with their organization.
My usual disclaimer reviewing management books is that I rarely read them, but as I, myself, am a manager, I need to and I try to be selective. And yet, even being quite picky in my management books reading habits, I tend to find them repetitive, and very often self-serving to the authors ego. I mean, I get it - they are usually written by alpha personalities, and yeah, they wouldn't be able to sell books if all these books contained was the essence of their message which is usually like 10-20 pages long. So, in my experience, even the better ones I read will fall with either of the two (or both) - repetitive or self-serving. It is ok, you still learn a lot from the good ones. But it is, a fight to read them in full, most of the times.
This book is somewhat different. The author seems to recognize the pitfalls of what he is writing about, and uses (a lot of) self-deprecation to avoid the two banes I dread ;) and (IMHO) he succeeds. The book flows quite well, never difficult to follow, never boring. And being quite good at self-deprecating humor, the author is quite also good at avoiding making the book about him. Even if pretty much everything in it is his ideas and his work experience implementing them. Quite impressive indeed.
And the content of the book is not too shabby either. The idea of being closer to your reports, mentoring them and helping them grow for the future has always been close to my management style. The way the author develops it rings many bells for me, and sounds true. Now, it can be a confirmation bias, as some of the techniques discussed in the book are things I have been using since like forever, but I definitely buy what the author is selling ;) It even made me think that I would probably feel quite well reporting to this guy :)
Anyway, in short - wonderful book that can teach a manager a lot. highly recommended for every leader who wants to better the way he works with their organization.
October 2, 2022
#whentheywinyouwin by #russlaraway #manmillan #panmacmillan
…
In “When They, You Win” Laraway concentrates on three key elements: Direction, Coaching and Career:
Direction — Good managers ensure that every member of their team understands exactly what is expected and when it is expected.
Coaching — Good managers coach their people toward both short- and long-term success, helping them understand what they should continue to do and where and how they can improve.
Career — Good managers invest in their people’s careers in a way that considers their long-term goals and aspirations, beyond the four walls of the current company, and certainly beyond their next promotion
…
The strategies identified are not unique or unsurprising, rather a clear framework for leadership with the management lens. The focus on the life story and nurturing career aspirations certainly resonated in my work and I look forward to embedding more of these strategies as part of my practice
…
This #book is a great tool for anyone in the workplace, regardless of whether you are in a management position
…
My values of #integrity and #optimism were reflected upon through the realisation when you commit to people, the rewards are endless
…
Have you #read this book? What did you think?
…
In “When They, You Win” Laraway concentrates on three key elements: Direction, Coaching and Career:
Direction — Good managers ensure that every member of their team understands exactly what is expected and when it is expected.
Coaching — Good managers coach their people toward both short- and long-term success, helping them understand what they should continue to do and where and how they can improve.
Career — Good managers invest in their people’s careers in a way that considers their long-term goals and aspirations, beyond the four walls of the current company, and certainly beyond their next promotion
…
The strategies identified are not unique or unsurprising, rather a clear framework for leadership with the management lens. The focus on the life story and nurturing career aspirations certainly resonated in my work and I look forward to embedding more of these strategies as part of my practice
…
This #book is a great tool for anyone in the workplace, regardless of whether you are in a management position
…
My values of #integrity and #optimism were reflected upon through the realisation when you commit to people, the rewards are endless
…
Have you #read this book? What did you think?
March 12, 2023
This book is easy to read, easy to understand and contains practical actions that any manager can take immediately with their team. That's what I did. I've set the team off to define our purpose and will follow with the vision etc. Plus I've kicked off the career conversations. I've not seen the process through at this point but the my team appears to be receptive and eager.
I've also felt new clarity about my own role as a manager - I'm responsible for everything my team does or fails to do. Simple. Clear. I've not found this statement overwhelming but rather empowering. I think its the first time that I've really grasped the difference between being an individual contributor and being a manager. Or perhaps its just the first time I've really embraced it. Not 100% sure really... but this book has helped me see things in a different light.
For me, When They Win, You Win is one of those books I'll use like an instruction manual.
I've also felt new clarity about my own role as a manager - I'm responsible for everything my team does or fails to do. Simple. Clear. I've not found this statement overwhelming but rather empowering. I think its the first time that I've really grasped the difference between being an individual contributor and being a manager. Or perhaps its just the first time I've really embraced it. Not 100% sure really... but this book has helped me see things in a different light.
For me, When They Win, You Win is one of those books I'll use like an instruction manual.
March 10, 2025
A fine example of the genre, gets 2 stars for being “OK” plus another star for the concept he added about Career Conversations. I have used this in my own work and it has helped me connect to and know how to help my employees get where they want to go. I’m nowhere near the manager that the author is, but this is a helpful construct.
Russ Laraway worked with Kim Scott in developing Radical Candor, which I wasn’t taken with, but has a lot of cachet where I work. I see these two authors as fairly similar with their disregard for professionalism and desire to genuinely help people become better leaders.
I bought this book because of the career conversation tool, but the website has everything you need. https://coda.io/@they-win-you-win/car...
Russ Laraway worked with Kim Scott in developing Radical Candor, which I wasn’t taken with, but has a lot of cachet where I work. I see these two authors as fairly similar with their disregard for professionalism and desire to genuinely help people become better leaders.
I bought this book because of the career conversation tool, but the website has everything you need. https://coda.io/@they-win-you-win/car...
May 22, 2022
Published: June 7, 2022
St. Martin’s Press
Pages: 297
Genre: Business Leadership, Business, Self Help
KKECReads Rating: 5/5
I received a copy of this book for free, and I leave my review voluntarily.
RUSS LARAWAY has had a diverse 28-year operational management career. Before starting his first company, Pathfinders, he was a Company Commander in the Marine Corps. A graduate of The Wharton School, he worked at Google and Twitter before co-founding Candor, Inc., alongside bestselling author Kim Scott. In 2018, Laraway became the Chief People Officer of Qualtrics and ultimately took on a role in helping other companies think (very) differently about the employee experience. Over that span, he has managed 700-person teams and $700M businesses facing a vast array of leadership challenges along the way.
“It’s clear that the manager holds the keys, so please let’s choose our drivers carefully and renew their licenses frequently.”
I knew I would enjoy this book from the first sentence, which I feel obligated to share because it’s a memorable way to start a book: “Managers are failing everywhere, and no one is helping. This is a big claim, but don’t worry, I brought receipts.”
RUSS LARAWAY! If you wanted to grab my attention, you succeeded!
This is such a great book. Written with passion, experience, and honesty, this should be what every manager gets when they are promoted to management.
I loved the accountability throughout this book and the real-life examples and scenarios. Several well-placed pop culture references kept my motivation high as well.
Russ seems like a normal guy, hardworking, passionate, and dedicated to helping his people reach their potential. He was speaking my language.
While we are from very different business worlds, so much of what he says translates across various fields. And I love that Russ indeed does “provide receipts.”
This is a very easy-to-read book, with real-life explanations and many examples. I love that Russ is screaming what needs to be heard.
This is a powerful tool and should absolutely be used and shared.
St. Martin’s Press
Pages: 297
Genre: Business Leadership, Business, Self Help
KKECReads Rating: 5/5
I received a copy of this book for free, and I leave my review voluntarily.
RUSS LARAWAY has had a diverse 28-year operational management career. Before starting his first company, Pathfinders, he was a Company Commander in the Marine Corps. A graduate of The Wharton School, he worked at Google and Twitter before co-founding Candor, Inc., alongside bestselling author Kim Scott. In 2018, Laraway became the Chief People Officer of Qualtrics and ultimately took on a role in helping other companies think (very) differently about the employee experience. Over that span, he has managed 700-person teams and $700M businesses facing a vast array of leadership challenges along the way.
“It’s clear that the manager holds the keys, so please let’s choose our drivers carefully and renew their licenses frequently.”
I knew I would enjoy this book from the first sentence, which I feel obligated to share because it’s a memorable way to start a book: “Managers are failing everywhere, and no one is helping. This is a big claim, but don’t worry, I brought receipts.”
RUSS LARAWAY! If you wanted to grab my attention, you succeeded!
This is such a great book. Written with passion, experience, and honesty, this should be what every manager gets when they are promoted to management.
I loved the accountability throughout this book and the real-life examples and scenarios. Several well-placed pop culture references kept my motivation high as well.
Russ seems like a normal guy, hardworking, passionate, and dedicated to helping his people reach their potential. He was speaking my language.
While we are from very different business worlds, so much of what he says translates across various fields. And I love that Russ indeed does “provide receipts.”
This is a very easy-to-read book, with real-life explanations and many examples. I love that Russ is screaming what needs to be heard.
This is a powerful tool and should absolutely be used and shared.
March 10, 2023
This book provided great approaches for helping people to grow, broken out into three ways: Direction, Coaching, and Career. The author loves analogies which I personally appreciate because it makes content more memorable for me. Sometimes he talked too much about himself and his own experiences but I get he is trying to relate his expertise to this book.
June 20, 2024
Best book on corporate leadership I’ve ever read.
January 15, 2023
This is a must-read for all managers. Whether you’re a first-time manager or have years of experience, Russ provides a practical, nut-and-bolts approach to empowering the people on your team to reach their full potential. He shares valuable online tools to use along side the book to help you develop a deeper understanding of your team and to help them succeed in their career journey. I have been using Russ’s Career Conversation tool for just a few months and it has already revolutionized the way I lead my team and increased their engagement in our work.
January 24, 2023
This books describes, based not only in the vast experience of the author but also backed by a lot of scientific evidence, a simple and practical framework to implement as a manager in all kind of contexts to guide your people/company to success!
People engaged produce better results. Read it to find why and how!
A must read for every manager out there!
People engaged produce better results. Read it to find why and how!
A must read for every manager out there!
February 8, 2023
This book is full of leadership wisdom and insights that are actionable and often measurable. It’s been invaluable to me in improving my work as a manager, and I’ll be returning to it for a long time.
February 12, 2023
I thought this was a really helpful lens for managing. So many books make it very complicated but there was a good balance of method without being devoid of humanity. One I’ll add to my home leadership bookshelf.
February 13, 2023
Loved the practical guide to being a great manager! I loved Russ on the Radical Candor podcast, and loved this expansion on those ideas. I invited a couple coworkers to read it with the goal of developing a leadership workshop around it!
October 22, 2023
Leadership isn't about wielding power, but about empowering others!
Step 1
Life Story Conversation
Have genuine human connection, transparent communication
Build your understanding of their aspirations, strengths, and areas for growth.
Step 2
Quarterly goal prioritization
Make them measurable, unambiguous, use the 'paint done' framework to ensure alignment.
Success is mutual—when team members thrive, so does the leader and the entire organization.
Step 3
Praise / continue coaching
Aim to five-to-one praise-to-criticism ratio
Criticize only after you've asked for feedback for yourself, learn what it means to sit in the receiving end to increase your sensibility and understanding.
Deliver it candidly yet compassionately, ensuring team members feel valued and understood, ask why instead of making assumptions.
"it's not mean, it's clear"
a discovery of a limiting belief I got surfaced through reading about the feedback and its importance and it raised me to go into introspection.
I had always kept to myself any negative feedback until I had a personal connection / relationship with a colleague. The excuse I was giving myself was - I don't want this to be taken the wrong way, what if my image changes for them for the worst, what if they get upset with me. Through my self-shielding behavior I now understand how I would steal their chance to improve.
As I did some more introspection around the why, I don't remember getting feedback ever (neither negative, nor positive) from my parents*. The emotions were always subtracted from conversations, the 'poker face' being a common way to show strength, that you can't be hurt by what other's say or do. that caused my inability to verbalize what I'm feeling, or to understand what others are feeling by picking up what others call 'really obvious cues'. (hence my need to take courses on 'how to human', hah)
The common behavior I had observed when people in the close family had something to say, oftentimes the receiver of the "feedback" shut down and stopped talking to that person for a long time (there's occasions when X did not speak with Y for lengths of times as long as years! by which they didn't even remember why they were holding a grudge for).
That's one of the reason I probably added an unfair equal sign between negative feedback and completely severing the relations with the person that would receive it, waiting to know that person and make sure that if I say something, I can still have a connection and we'll continue to be on speaking terms. And of course, that's sounds utter bananas as I put it into words.
* There is a nugget my dad used to say I still remember, it goes like this - "if you learn you might be able to choose what you do, if you don't, there's always fields to work in the country-side for which you don't require much knowledge. it's all up to you you to pick where you want to go."
I need to practice giving negative feedback, as I work to shake loose that feeling... if I give some criticism, the world will continue to turn and it will be fine. Probably a bit better off than if I had kept something important/impactful unsaid.
Step 1
Life Story Conversation
Have genuine human connection, transparent communication
Build your understanding of their aspirations, strengths, and areas for growth.
Step 2
Quarterly goal prioritization
Make them measurable, unambiguous, use the 'paint done' framework to ensure alignment.
Success is mutual—when team members thrive, so does the leader and the entire organization.
Step 3
Praise / continue coaching
Aim to five-to-one praise-to-criticism ratio
Criticize only after you've asked for feedback for yourself, learn what it means to sit in the receiving end to increase your sensibility and understanding.
Deliver it candidly yet compassionately, ensuring team members feel valued and understood, ask why instead of making assumptions.
"it's not mean, it's clear"
a discovery of a limiting belief I got surfaced through reading about the feedback and its importance and it raised me to go into introspection.
I had always kept to myself any negative feedback until I had a personal connection / relationship with a colleague. The excuse I was giving myself was - I don't want this to be taken the wrong way, what if my image changes for them for the worst, what if they get upset with me. Through my self-shielding behavior I now understand how I would steal their chance to improve.
As I did some more introspection around the why, I don't remember getting feedback ever (neither negative, nor positive) from my parents*. The emotions were always subtracted from conversations, the 'poker face' being a common way to show strength, that you can't be hurt by what other's say or do. that caused my inability to verbalize what I'm feeling, or to understand what others are feeling by picking up what others call 'really obvious cues'. (hence my need to take courses on 'how to human', hah)
The common behavior I had observed when people in the close family had something to say, oftentimes the receiver of the "feedback" shut down and stopped talking to that person for a long time (there's occasions when X did not speak with Y for lengths of times as long as years! by which they didn't even remember why they were holding a grudge for).
That's one of the reason I probably added an unfair equal sign between negative feedback and completely severing the relations with the person that would receive it, waiting to know that person and make sure that if I say something, I can still have a connection and we'll continue to be on speaking terms. And of course, that's sounds utter bananas as I put it into words.
* There is a nugget my dad used to say I still remember, it goes like this - "if you learn you might be able to choose what you do, if you don't, there's always fields to work in the country-side for which you don't require much knowledge. it's all up to you you to pick where you want to go."
I need to practice giving negative feedback, as I work to shake loose that feeling... if I give some criticism, the world will continue to turn and it will be fine. Probably a bit better off than if I had kept something important/impactful unsaid.
November 13, 2023
"When They Win, You Win: Being a Great Manager Is Simpler Than You Think" by Russ Laraway is a book that delves into the essentials of effective management, emphasizing the significance of providing direction, coaching, and career support to create a thriving workplace culture. Laraway argues that by focusing on these fundamentals, managers can foster engagement, achieve better business results, and enable both their teams and themselves to succeed.
The author introduces the concept of the "Big 3" – direction, coaching, and career support – as the foundation for successful management. Direction involves clearly communicating expectations, developing a long-term purpose, and sharing both short-term and long-term goals with the team. Coaching encompasses the provision of frequent feedback, a balance of praise and constructive criticism, and the creation of a psychologically safe environment where employees feel comfortable expressing their ideas and concerns. Career support goes beyond promotions, involving understanding employees' aspirations and actively assisting in their long-term development. The book provides practical frameworks for implementing the "Big 3." For creating shared direction, Laraway suggests developing a purpose, vision, and using OKRs (Objectives and Key Results) to align efforts. The purpose is a short, action-oriented statement describing why the team exists. The vision outlines the ideal future state, and OKRs set clear objectives and measurable results. Laraway advises setting OKRs quarterly to maintain focus and alignment.
Coaching is identified as the core of effective management, involving both praise and constructive criticism. The ideal balance is five positive comments for each negative one, fostering a culture of psychological safety where employees feel secure in expressing themselves. The book also emphasizes the importance of coaching as a two-way street, with managers actively seeking feedback on their own performance. Meaningful career conversations, often neglected by managers, are highlighted as essential for sustainable success. Laraway suggests a structured approach, including discussions about the employee's life story, career vision, and a career action plan. By understanding employees' motivations and aspirations, managers can better align their support and enable the pursuit of shared goals. The book concludes by emphasizing the CARES acronym: Creating a culture of candor, Actively prioritizing important work, Responding to employee ideas and concerns, Establishing clear expectations, and Supporting employee growth and development. It underscores the role of managers as crucial for organizational success, as they unlock the potential in every team member, driving the entire company forward.
In summary, Laraway's book advocates for a systematic and focused approach to management, emphasizing the importance of direction, coaching, and career support. By providing practical tools and frameworks, the author aims to guide managers in creating engaged, high-performing teams that contribute to the overall success of the organization.
The author introduces the concept of the "Big 3" – direction, coaching, and career support – as the foundation for successful management. Direction involves clearly communicating expectations, developing a long-term purpose, and sharing both short-term and long-term goals with the team. Coaching encompasses the provision of frequent feedback, a balance of praise and constructive criticism, and the creation of a psychologically safe environment where employees feel comfortable expressing their ideas and concerns. Career support goes beyond promotions, involving understanding employees' aspirations and actively assisting in their long-term development. The book provides practical frameworks for implementing the "Big 3." For creating shared direction, Laraway suggests developing a purpose, vision, and using OKRs (Objectives and Key Results) to align efforts. The purpose is a short, action-oriented statement describing why the team exists. The vision outlines the ideal future state, and OKRs set clear objectives and measurable results. Laraway advises setting OKRs quarterly to maintain focus and alignment.
Coaching is identified as the core of effective management, involving both praise and constructive criticism. The ideal balance is five positive comments for each negative one, fostering a culture of psychological safety where employees feel secure in expressing themselves. The book also emphasizes the importance of coaching as a two-way street, with managers actively seeking feedback on their own performance. Meaningful career conversations, often neglected by managers, are highlighted as essential for sustainable success. Laraway suggests a structured approach, including discussions about the employee's life story, career vision, and a career action plan. By understanding employees' motivations and aspirations, managers can better align their support and enable the pursuit of shared goals. The book concludes by emphasizing the CARES acronym: Creating a culture of candor, Actively prioritizing important work, Responding to employee ideas and concerns, Establishing clear expectations, and Supporting employee growth and development. It underscores the role of managers as crucial for organizational success, as they unlock the potential in every team member, driving the entire company forward.
In summary, Laraway's book advocates for a systematic and focused approach to management, emphasizing the importance of direction, coaching, and career support. By providing practical tools and frameworks, the author aims to guide managers in creating engaged, high-performing teams that contribute to the overall success of the organization.
November 13, 2023
Backed by extensive data, it proves that when managers focus on the fundamentals of setting expectations, developing talent, and caring about team members’ aspirations, they create a culture of engagement. Good management means genuine mentoring, not just supervision.
CARES is a perfect acronym for what the best managers do. They Create a culture of candor through regular coaching and feedback. They Actively prioritize the most important work. They Respond to ideas and concerns from employees. They Establish clear expectations for behaviors and results. And they Support employee growth and development.
Takeaways:
- From the legendary Silicon Valley manager who inspired Radical Candor
- Most managers fail to lead their teams effectively. (who knew lol)
- First comes direction. This means clearly communicating expectations and priorities.
- Second is coaching. Employees need frequent feedback on what they're doing well so they can repeat it.
- Finally, career support entails guiding team members' growth beyond promotions. It means understanding their aspirations and actively assisting their development. This shows care for employees as human beings, not just workers.
A better approach involves structured career conversations in three parts:
Conversation 1: Life Story – The first conversation focuses on understanding each of your employee’s motivators and drivers. Invite them to share their life story from the beginning. Listen for the major choices and pivots in their life. Why did they make certain decisions about activities, studies, and work? Look for themes and try to extract 5-10 core values based on their life path. Share this analysis with them to ensure you both understand their motivations.
Conversation 2: Career Vision – Next, you need to understand your employee's dream job or long-term career vision. Many resist this, but almost everyone has one. Ask them to describe their vision. Use clarifying questions on industry, company size, and role to bring their dream into focus. The goal is to work toward a tangible goal like “CTO of a midsize tech company.” This gives you a shared dream to work toward.
Conversation 3: Career Action Plan – With the life story path and future goal clear, build an 18-month plan to take steps forward. Identify the skills the employee needs for their vision and build toward them. More concretely, you and your employee can build a 4-part action plan:
- Meaningful career conversations between managers and employees are essential for sustainable success. Yet, they rarely happen. Too frequently, managers are overwhelmed by short-term demands and fail to prioritize discussions about long-term career aspirations. Careers end up directionless, hopping between roles without a guiding purpose.
First, make changes to their current role.
Second, help them pursue formal skill development like training.
Third, plan their next job move.
And fourth, activate your networks to inform and influence their future.
CARES is a perfect acronym for what the best managers do. They Create a culture of candor through regular coaching and feedback. They Actively prioritize the most important work. They Respond to ideas and concerns from employees. They Establish clear expectations for behaviors and results. And they Support employee growth and development.
Takeaways:
- From the legendary Silicon Valley manager who inspired Radical Candor
- Most managers fail to lead their teams effectively. (who knew lol)
- First comes direction. This means clearly communicating expectations and priorities.
- Second is coaching. Employees need frequent feedback on what they're doing well so they can repeat it.
- Finally, career support entails guiding team members' growth beyond promotions. It means understanding their aspirations and actively assisting their development. This shows care for employees as human beings, not just workers.
A better approach involves structured career conversations in three parts:
Conversation 1: Life Story – The first conversation focuses on understanding each of your employee’s motivators and drivers. Invite them to share their life story from the beginning. Listen for the major choices and pivots in their life. Why did they make certain decisions about activities, studies, and work? Look for themes and try to extract 5-10 core values based on their life path. Share this analysis with them to ensure you both understand their motivations.
Conversation 2: Career Vision – Next, you need to understand your employee's dream job or long-term career vision. Many resist this, but almost everyone has one. Ask them to describe their vision. Use clarifying questions on industry, company size, and role to bring their dream into focus. The goal is to work toward a tangible goal like “CTO of a midsize tech company.” This gives you a shared dream to work toward.
Conversation 3: Career Action Plan – With the life story path and future goal clear, build an 18-month plan to take steps forward. Identify the skills the employee needs for their vision and build toward them. More concretely, you and your employee can build a 4-part action plan:
- Meaningful career conversations between managers and employees are essential for sustainable success. Yet, they rarely happen. Too frequently, managers are overwhelmed by short-term demands and fail to prioritize discussions about long-term career aspirations. Careers end up directionless, hopping between roles without a guiding purpose.
First, make changes to their current role.
Second, help them pursue formal skill development like training.
Third, plan their next job move.
And fourth, activate your networks to inform and influence their future.
November 12, 2023
I am torn about whether to recommend this book or not. On the one hand, the content is good. Great stats on engagement, simple yet solid management model and definitely the best material I've found on having Life Conversations with your employees. I also particularly enjoyed the bit about coaching pole-vaulters vs coaching in the business world.
On the other hand, the writing is sometimes so cringeworthy it reminds you of another Russ, specifically Russ Hanneman, the obnoxious tech billionaire from Silicon Valley. Here are a few examples:
"One practical tip: I went through a phase of using an iPad with GoodNotes and the Apple Pencil, and this combination is lit, fire, en fuego."
"Success? More like suck-cess."
"Like Star-Lord and Gamora, you are the Guardians … of the Employee Experience."
But he's not Russ Hanneman. He's more of a tech dad than a tech bro. And he has enough self-awareness to — at times — be endearing.
"As a manager, I already believed deeply in personal care. In fact, at one point Kim told me that everything she learned about caring for people at work she learned counterintuitively, from her former infantry marine, 2 percent Neanderthal employee: me."
Fortunately the questionable paragraphs are few and far in between and mostly the book sticks to pretty standard teachings on a proven management model. It's not the best written management book, but its management chops are evident throughout.
On the other hand, the writing is sometimes so cringeworthy it reminds you of another Russ, specifically Russ Hanneman, the obnoxious tech billionaire from Silicon Valley. Here are a few examples:
"One practical tip: I went through a phase of using an iPad with GoodNotes and the Apple Pencil, and this combination is lit, fire, en fuego."
"Success? More like suck-cess."
"Like Star-Lord and Gamora, you are the Guardians … of the Employee Experience."
But he's not Russ Hanneman. He's more of a tech dad than a tech bro. And he has enough self-awareness to — at times — be endearing.
"As a manager, I already believed deeply in personal care. In fact, at one point Kim told me that everything she learned about caring for people at work she learned counterintuitively, from her former infantry marine, 2 percent Neanderthal employee: me."
Fortunately the questionable paragraphs are few and far in between and mostly the book sticks to pretty standard teachings on a proven management model. It's not the best written management book, but its management chops are evident throughout.
January 23, 2023
Thanks to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for the digital galley of this book.
In this book, former Silicon Valley manager and leader in the field, Russ Laraway lays out simple to follow rules for creating and maintaining successful teams. Keeping people happy will make teams function better. Communicating with team members and being engaged/caring about them is important to keeping people engaged and making teams work better. Laraway shares his leadership standard to help teams work as well as his teams have historically, and that can be super helpful for managers who want to be good at their jobs and support their employees.
I do need to stop picking such such books, however, because I wasn’t engaged. My dream job is to not have a job. My aspirations don’t lie with my career, and even though I want to do a good job, my promotion goals are just to make more money to fund the things I really want to do. I will say this one is useful with relevant info, just didn’t resonate with me, a reforming workaholic whose only major goals are to foster cats and maybe have a paid for house one day.
If you’re a manager of people, though, this book can definitely help you in your people leading skills, and it’s out now wherever you get your books.
In this book, former Silicon Valley manager and leader in the field, Russ Laraway lays out simple to follow rules for creating and maintaining successful teams. Keeping people happy will make teams function better. Communicating with team members and being engaged/caring about them is important to keeping people engaged and making teams work better. Laraway shares his leadership standard to help teams work as well as his teams have historically, and that can be super helpful for managers who want to be good at their jobs and support their employees.
I do need to stop picking such such books, however, because I wasn’t engaged. My dream job is to not have a job. My aspirations don’t lie with my career, and even though I want to do a good job, my promotion goals are just to make more money to fund the things I really want to do. I will say this one is useful with relevant info, just didn’t resonate with me, a reforming workaholic whose only major goals are to foster cats and maybe have a paid for house one day.
If you’re a manager of people, though, this book can definitely help you in your people leading skills, and it’s out now wherever you get your books.
May 11, 2025
Russ Laraway’s When They Win, You Win offers a practical and human-centric approach to leadership. At its core, the book emphasizes a powerful yet simple truth: a manager’s success is defined by their team's success. Rather than focusing on abstract theories or rigid frameworks, Laraway outlines a clear path to becoming a great leader by investing deeply in the people you manage.
Central to his message is the importance of coaching and truly understanding team members—not just professionally, but personally. Leaders should aim to uncover what motivates each individual, their background, and what brings them happiness. This empathetic approach, Laraway argues, builds trust and unlocks performance.
The book draws heavily from the Radical Candor framework (unsurprising, given Laraway’s connection to it), advocating for direct but caring communication. At times, this makes the content feel slightly overlapping for those familiar with Kim Scott’s work, but Laraway’s voice brings fresh examples and a sharper operational lens.
Ultimately, When They Win, You Win is a reminder that great leadership isn't about control or charisma—it’s about continuous development, genuine care, and effective coaching. A solid, actionable read for anyone managing people.
Central to his message is the importance of coaching and truly understanding team members—not just professionally, but personally. Leaders should aim to uncover what motivates each individual, their background, and what brings them happiness. This empathetic approach, Laraway argues, builds trust and unlocks performance.
The book draws heavily from the Radical Candor framework (unsurprising, given Laraway’s connection to it), advocating for direct but caring communication. At times, this makes the content feel slightly overlapping for those familiar with Kim Scott’s work, but Laraway’s voice brings fresh examples and a sharper operational lens.
Ultimately, When They Win, You Win is a reminder that great leadership isn't about control or charisma—it’s about continuous development, genuine care, and effective coaching. A solid, actionable read for anyone managing people.
November 14, 2023
Blinkist Book of the Day
Notes! The core of effective management is coaching, which simply means helping your team continuously improve. This involves two main types of feedback: praise to encourage effective behaviors, and constructive criticism to improve performance.
When team members exhibit behaviors you want to be repeated, praise them specifically and sincerely. When you recognize real contributions publicly, you motivate the whole team.
Constructive criticism or improvement coaching means promptly giving low-threat feedback. Focus on the work, not the person. Deliver your critiques privately and respectfully. Ask curious questions to uncover obstacles and involve the employee in solving problems.
You also want to keep a good praise-to-criticism balance. The ideal ratio is five positive comments for each negative one. In any case, psychological safety is the foundation for effective feedback. Employees need to feel safe speaking up, sharing concerns, and presenting ideas without fear of embarrassment or retaliation.
Notes! The core of effective management is coaching, which simply means helping your team continuously improve. This involves two main types of feedback: praise to encourage effective behaviors, and constructive criticism to improve performance.
When team members exhibit behaviors you want to be repeated, praise them specifically and sincerely. When you recognize real contributions publicly, you motivate the whole team.
Constructive criticism or improvement coaching means promptly giving low-threat feedback. Focus on the work, not the person. Deliver your critiques privately and respectfully. Ask curious questions to uncover obstacles and involve the employee in solving problems.
You also want to keep a good praise-to-criticism balance. The ideal ratio is five positive comments for each negative one. In any case, psychological safety is the foundation for effective feedback. Employees need to feel safe speaking up, sharing concerns, and presenting ideas without fear of embarrassment or retaliation.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 16, 2023
I went through this book really quickly. The influence of Kim Scott's Radical Candor is very clear, but I'm glad that Russ Laraway didn't repeat anything (or much) and just tells you to read that book if you want to go deeper on that subject.
I'm going to add this book to my must-read for managers. The approach to building the work values list of a person is extremely interesting. It's something that feels radical, extreme, and I would have never tried it without the amount of explanation this book contains. Now I'm looking forward to try it, although I'd probably re-read the book before I do so.
I also like how clear his description of the role of a manager is. And it's something that after managing for a few years I came up independently so it's was amazingly validating to see those same facts expressed by someone as experience and knowledgeable as Russ Laraway.
I'm going to add this book to my must-read for managers. The approach to building the work values list of a person is extremely interesting. It's something that feels radical, extreme, and I would have never tried it without the amount of explanation this book contains. Now I'm looking forward to try it, although I'd probably re-read the book before I do so.
I also like how clear his description of the role of a manager is. And it's something that after managing for a few years I came up independently so it's was amazingly validating to see those same facts expressed by someone as experience and knowledgeable as Russ Laraway.
June 15, 2022
When They Win, You Win by Russ Laraway is a readable management book that boils good management down to "The Big 3", Direction, Coaching, and Career--otherwise known as good managers are clear about accountabilities, they coach their team members to success and growth, and they give evidence that they care about their people not just as a means to an end .
The author peppers solid advice throughout the book with real life examples which make for an interesting and engaging read. This book is a nice start for newer managers or those who need more instruction on how a company will never be better than its people.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
The author peppers solid advice throughout the book with real life examples which make for an interesting and engaging read. This book is a nice start for newer managers or those who need more instruction on how a company will never be better than its people.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
October 22, 2022
As with every place I’ve ever worked except the VA, there is not any real management training at the company where I’m a manager. I’m not one of those people who gets all excited at the thought of being a manager, but I do feel like I have an obligation to the people I manage to make sure that I’m not a total ass-clown manager (term from this book). What I got from this book is that management is mostly common sense: know what success looks like, communicate that to the team, help them up be successful. My own theory of management is basically this: know your stuff, don’t be an asshole, work harder than everyone else, communicate, and do the unpleasant stuff yourself. So I’m not that far off, right?
June 6, 2022
When I was reading Russ Laraway's book, I was reminded of a story from the bar that Mark Cuban founded in Bloomington before he was of legal drinking age. It got shut down because of an incident involving an underage minor, but he had a guy who was a lousy bartender. He wasn't on time, and he didn't meet the mark. Everyone felt terrible about getting rid of him, because he was universally liked. They realized that he needed to become a manager, so that's where they put him. He was far better as a manager than as a bartender. I received a review copy from NetGalley and have left my opinion.
June 14, 2022
I heard about this book from a friend and actually pre ordered it and was super excited to read it. The examples are extremely visual and I loved many of the USMC references and how the leader (manager) should make sure those they represent are heard.
I know this is a business book for managers from the C’s to the bottom. I’m now retired and feel like this book was motivating in dealing with folks in everyday life even outside the business world.
*** I bought this book and highly recommend it!
I know this is a business book for managers from the C’s to the bottom. I’m now retired and feel like this book was motivating in dealing with folks in everyday life even outside the business world.
*** I bought this book and highly recommend it!
May 8, 2023
I bought this book because I heard the author on the First Review podcast where he said a lot of smart things.
Apparently those were all of the smart things he had to say - or he's a better podcast guest than writer.
I started this book in July 2022 and finished it in April 2023. It was a slog the whole way through.
In other words, for once Sam Bankman Fried was right - this should have been a six-paragraph blog post.
Apparently those were all of the smart things he had to say - or he's a better podcast guest than writer.
I started this book in July 2022 and finished it in April 2023. It was a slog the whole way through.
In other words, for once Sam Bankman Fried was right - this should have been a six-paragraph blog post.
January 5, 2025
This is a great book about managing people but definitely has a big tech and/or startup bent with its young and eager employees, which makes sense given the author's background with Google and Twitter. I simply wish there were more examples from other industries. Regardless, the ideas within are useful and accessible for most managers. I liked the idea of a Career Action Plan for employees, which is creating a detailed plan with actionable steps to achieve a career vision. How do you do this with employees who are at the end of their career?
August 1, 2022
This is an absolutely wonderful book about how a happy working environment is much more conducive to a productive workforce and workers. New research shows that managers and bosses that make an effort to be positive and engaged with their employees will have a MUCH more productive office and team. This book lays out the groundwork for that to happen. I found it very useful and will definitely be going back to this book again and again as a refrence!
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