Born to be Mild: Adventures for the Anxious

by Rob Temple

'If you're looking to ease yourself back into normality after lockdown, Born to be Mild should be top of your reading list' Mail Online

A funny, life-affirming memoir from the creator of social media empire Very British Problems, about how to start again when everything's gone wrong.

By the time Rob Temple hit his thirties, he had become so afraid of the world that he couldn't leave the house. Depressed and anxious, he found himself drifting deeper into solitude.

So Rob decided to make a plan - to embark on fifty 'mild' adventures, to be a little less Pooh Bear and a little more Bear Grylls. On a gentle journey that takes him beekeeping, bowling, and to a service station just off the M25, Rob starts to settle on a better balance - and soon discovers the joys of a life well lived.

In this raw and honest memoir, Rob shares his year of gentle adventure and the lessons learnt along the way. Quiet and comforting, with a generous helping of British humour, Born to be Mild is a guide to living life unencumbered by mental illness, and a reminder to slow down and embrace your mild side.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Humor, Biography, Mental Health, Audiobook, Ebooks

284 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 27, 2020

About the author

Rob Temple is a journalist and founder of the @SoVeryBritish Twitter account, which now has more than one million followers, and a consultant on the official Channel 4 Very British Problems series.

Originally from Peterborough, he recently moved from South London to the countryside to provide more storage space for his rapidly expanding collection of inedible hot sauces and to be alone with his thought(s). He’s not that keen on hot drinks but is fine with just water if that’s okay?

Reviews

[Steve Green · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book should have been for me. I sometimes feel crippled by indecision, and I can get very anxious about things, so whilst it was never going to be a self-help book, I thought it may provide some funny insights into the life of someone who suffered similar problems. Also, I like the Very British Problems tweets Rob puts out, but this book was shallow, a bit dull, and not very funny.

The overwhelming feeling I had was that Rob is just a bit of a man-child. He says that himself once in the book, so I’m not being mean when I say it. Sure, he’s got problems, and as I said, I can empathise with some of them, but largely he’s a privileged individual with no real responsibilities going off on jollies. It’s an endless stream of picking a whim, doing it, and probably not enjoying it. Ad Infinitum. I laughed just once during the whole thing, and honestly, I was relieved to see the acknowledgements page.

It’s billed as a life-affirming memoir, and it’s anything but. For me it just didn’t work as a book. It felt like someone’s failed pitch for a TV show at best, at worst a lot of made-up, or exaggerated events told by someone you feel vaguely bored by.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adored this book, it’s my favourite of all the books I’ve read so far this year (I’ve read 53 books so far this year in case you were wondering and I've written one, I'm really into books). It’s very suited to reading during a pandemic because it’ll give you an appreciation of the small pleasant activities in life. It’s brimful of humour and honesty and it has dark bits but also lots of hope and light. I like it so much that last sentence was too long and I was babbling. Check out the trees at the start of each chapter, lovely.

[PAUL · Rating 2 out of 5]

Rather disappointed with this. More of a book to dip into every now and again than to be read continuously (like I did). The author seems to be tactfully avoiding mention of the problems he was facing, and instead you get a lot of vague references or quick brush offs of what seem to be monumental events. Close to the end he is considering helping others in similar positions, and it seems as though this may have been a useful focus for the book? Instead it’s just a series of mildly amusing anecdotes that may have been better diarised. It makes sense to me now why I found this so difficult to find in Waterstones, as I expect they didn’t know which section it belonged in so hadn’t actually put it out. It’s not really a biography, it’s not fiction, it’s not a travel guide. It’s just a bit of a missed opportunity sadly.

[blueisthenewpink · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not bad at all. It is very British. I have 77 notes and highlights in this ebook, most of them very British expressions. At times, even my inner voice changed to a very British accent (sounded mostly like the voices of John Oliver, Tom Hiddleston, and Hugh Laurie - in turns, not at the same time, I have no idea what that would sound like). At other times it changed to whatever accent the author was doing in the scene.

I loved the references I could get and that they weren't explained (yeah, I'm a real sucker for being treated as an intelligent reader instead of as one with very limited mental capacity). The book reminded me of Adrian Mole, multiple times, telling us about all the misfortunes but instead of the constant whining, we got some hilarious self-satirising comments, gratefulness, and acknowledgment of the good times as well.

It was fun. (Which, by the way, is the exact same review I gave the new Marvel movie 'Black Widow' yesterday.)

[Sarah Clement · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was incredibly vulnerable, and that really surprised me. I have been following the Very British Problems social media for a long while, and as an immigrant to Britain I found it hilarious but also, quite often, thought "British people really struggle to differentiate culture from depression". This book made me realise that Rob Temple is more aware of the line between national temperament and personal psychology than I had ever realised, and that it is no coincidence that the sentiments he captures walk that fine line. It's still a book with characteristic British wit and humour, but it's also a book that makes you feel things. The internet machine kept pushing this book on me and I figured I would regret the purchase when I finally caved because, let's face it, I am not invested in the person behind a meme page. But this was a very different sort of book than I expected, and it surprised me in many good ways. I don't relate to all of it personally but everything he recounts is relatable to either me or someone I know, for better or for worse. Probably not for the person with no cultural context about Britishness, but if you have that, and you find it peculiar or interesting, particularly the ironic sense of humour and the fact that it's always teetering on the line between wit and deep depression, then it's probably worth a read.

[Lina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nope.

I tried. I really did. I didn't want my first book of 2021 to be a DNF (did not finish) failure. Yet at 20 something percent I couldn't deal with it anymore.

I've been a follower of The Very British Problems Twitter account for a couple of years and I enjoy the content a lot. So after seeing this book on offer I had a lot of expectations before even buying it. I'm not British but I've been living in Britain for quite a few years mostly being surrounded by British people so I can easily relate to all the British "problems" often pointed in his Twitter account.

The book was nothing like it though. The awkwardness constantly surrounding the author was something else. I could not understand how a grown man (or anybody in that matter) can be so awkward. I tried my best to relate to his "issues" but with every page I kept growing more impatient and annoyed. I used to be awkward...when I was 15. Maybe I just never had an easy life and I had to teach myself to stand up for myself, for my rights and take the life by its horns and find purpose even in little things so I cannot relate to the problems at all.

Overall I'd say 2.5 because there were some funny bits at the beginning but I will not be finishing this book as I feel like I won't benefit from it at all.

[Sarah Garside · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pure, revealing and real. Anyone who has ever experienced any form of anxiety can probably relate to so much of this book. Loved it from start to finish!

[Stevie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice Sunday afternoon book. Easy to read and quite funny. I was looking for more of a get out of your head and try these small adventures type of thing though whereas the moral of this was more don’t feel like you need to have small adventures... I think me and the author are looking at the same problem from opposite sides - I need a small push out and he needed a small push in. Not quite what I was looking for but I enjoyed it anyway.

[Cristina · Rating 1 out of 5]

Life is too short to read such a bumbling mess of pseudo-literature. While I do love the Very British Problems for their brevity, wit and the ability to accurately and briefly pinpoint very human problems, this is an atrociously boring attempt at being remotely funny.

So, to quote the author himself, "I don't mean to be rude, but it's not quite what I had in mind." He'll get it.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book, but sadly it read like a garbled stream of consciousness that was in need of a good edit. There were some funny and insightful parts but I found myself skimming over lots of the long-winded anecdotes.

[Nick Davies · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this to test how amenable I am to reading ebooks on my new mini tablet thing. I had heard of the book on twitter and it seemed likely to be worth 99p. It was. And the reading on a tablet thing was pretty much a success too. So all good.

This memoir/autobiography type thing is the author's frank retelling of his attempts to recover from alcoholism and marriage break-up linked to crippling anxiety. As a consequence of this as a pretty serious subject, it might be a challenge for Temple to make this light and entertaining enough to read - but it's not something he fails to do. Honest, non saccharine, very readable, and plenty of insightful moments (discussion of how often we appreciate things more after the event spoke to me particularly, with my habits of a lack of motivation to do things, and the times I have felt lukewarm whilst doing them) it certainly was thought-provoking, certainly because aspects of the overthinking due to anxiety are common to some of my habits.

It feels harsh however to judge it slightly less favourably because it was at times a little 'mild' (naturally). I understand that the struggles of someone unable to leave the house at times, for whom going to buy a sandwich is a triumph in the face of mental health issues, aren't likely to be as exciting and thrilling as a novel. At times though there were 'ok' bits among the more interesting and actively 'good' bits. Which is a metaphor for life, I suppose.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this and it was brave to write it. The narration was excellent. I didn't know who Rob Temple was when I started reading it, although I knew of very British problems.

[Maha Althani · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the first book i read for Rob and I want to read"British Problems". I followed this account in twitter many years ago and I didn't know that there was an actual book about it and he is an author!!
Until lately and I followed the author and i saw that he had a book for the anxious people, so i got it immediately.
Firstly, i thought this book will be all about anxiety
and depression and illnesses!! But Nop this book is Funny, hilarious. This book defines Anxiety in a different way. Not what the people always think what anxiety looks like, and that anxiety must be a bad, sad thing. Yes indeed anxiety could be a funny, which is the book tell u it's!

This book is not for the anxious people at all. It's full of ideas, activities. Its good that i read it especially during this pandemic, it let u appreciate the small things that we have! Yup this book has no plot, no story, it's just about a real life events of a normal man 😊😌

[Jess Trow · Rating 5 out of 5]

I downloaded the audiobook version of this book purely because Mat Baynton was narrating it, but upon listening, I discovered a new favourite book. Period.

I’m not one for memoirs, I find them stuffy, boring, and cash grab-y (just my opinion), but this was lighthearted and sincere, hilarious and deep, silly yet profound. As someone who struggles with anxiety, and especially with setting myself unrealistic goals, I felt seen by this memoir, and I related so much with Ron’s adventures for the mild.

Highly recommend, especially if you’re like me and don’t usually read this sort of book. I’m pretty sure it’ll change your mind.

[Stuart · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rob Temple’s Born To Be Mild is an impressive attempt at answering a possibly life changing question: Can socially awkward, nervous and anxious people still go adventuring and have a good time? Rob embarks on fifty adventures (both big and small) to pull himself out of a life of solitude he has created for himself to try and discover what constitutes an enjoyable experience or, at the very least, where on the line between comfort and conformity sits a good time. In forcing himself out of the house, from his very restrictive comfort zone, and into the world to experience what it has to offer, Rob Temple becomes a paragon of anxious exploration for all those people (myself included) who continue to cancel their lives due to mental health concerns.
Rob Temple faces many different adventures during the course of the book, such as travelling to Barcelona and Berlin, learning yoga, rediscovering chilli sauce, airbnb-ing (kind of a word) and haggling for dodgy looking ornaments with mixed results. Born To Be Mild is a personal journal more than anything. Rob invites us into his life, letting us see through his eyes, experience his own reflections and philosophising while giving us the opportunity to apply his outlook to our own lives.

If you are looking for an advice piece that will guide you, hold your hand and explain ways to deal with mental health problems head on then this is not that type of book. It is a mostly hilarious, sometimes distressing, interior monologue of a man setting out to bypass his defeatist nature and symptoms of severe anxiety to live his life on the mild side.

When I say this book is hilarious, I mean it! Rob has a fantastic perspective on the world around him and he expresses his musings into words in the best ways. His writing is funny, relatable and extremely quotable. I guess that’s why his Twitter page, Very British Problems, is so popular. It is clear why Rob got into journalism as his writing is very stimulating, quirky, upbeat and packed with witty observations. It is also clear that Rob has had his share of trouble and it sits underneath quite a lot of what he says, present but not often referenced. Plenty of his adventures into the world are successful and provide opportunities for laughs, eye-rolling and facepalming in embarrassment. His time in the flotation tank imaging he was a pork pie was brilliant. Some of the trips are disastrous and end leaving Rob worse for wear such as an attempt to return to living in London for a month that ends short after stress induced blackouts take him over the edge.

Born To Be Mild is a mixing pot of experiences that includes zany humour, hardcore cringy embarrassment, poignant reflections on mental health and a shed load of interesting experiences that a lot of people can connect with in important ways. I don’t do a lot of things in my life because I am socially awkward and anxious about new experiences. Born To Be Mild has taught me a few things and the two most revealing elements Rob Temple has provided me were that adventures are better with friends and that anything can happen, you just need to show up.

I have barely any negative points to this book. Sometimes the writing veers off into streams of rambling but it kind of suits the subject matter when it happens so it wasn’t too bad. I would say that it goes on just a bit too long for my liking. That’s about it though. The only thing that could have made it better was an actual foreword by Barrack Obama. I thoroughly appreciated Born To Be Mild. I picked up the book for one reason and stayed for so many others. Adventures are a vital part of life and I shouldn’t be missing out. There are book conventions and places I want to see and take my family too and Rob Temple has reminded me that anxiety doesn’t have to ruin things, it just shifts my perspective on certain aspects.

Born To Be Mild has left me with food for thought (and some images I can’t unsee) and I highly recommend it as a fantastic read that is another step in the right direction for people battling mental health issues and those who live with and care for them too.

[Anne Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aaaw..this is a great book.! I love the GBP tweets, and after reading this book, which is basically a year in Rob's life, I am pretty sure he get most of his material from his mum and dad! Lots of laughs, but it is also a serious book showing how he has tried different ways of coping with his life, which has not been easy, which most of us can relate to in some way or other. He is very down to earth and really just wants a simple life and has just realised that actually he is happy with that and that is ok.
Best quote from the book....when he decided to become flexitarian!! ( veggie, but with the option to add meat or dairy whenever he feels like it!!)
I honestly loved it.
(My daughter bought it for me for Xmas, so thanks Kim! I know you will read my review!! Xxx )

[Olena Sovyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Книжка не смішна (що багато людей мабуть очікує зважаючи, що автор книги також автор аккаунту та книг Very British Problems), але якось також дуже трушно про життя, коли тобі за 35+ і все в тебе не перфектно, але і не награно кіношно погано. В часи погоні за "успішним успіхом" та коли всі все намагаються встигнути замість того, щоб жити життя, досить освіжаюче почитати щось про те як людина також намагається влізти в ці рамки і як це їй зовсім не підходить. Головний герой книги робить багато висновків в результаті своїх досвідів, але він не говорить їх прямо в лоб, а натомість ніжно і досить приховано вплітає в розповідь.

[Alison S ☯️ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I was definitely the target audience for this book as I love Very British Problems and follow the Facebook group. This was very funny, gentle and sweet, with a few darker and more poignant moments. I've had a few stressful weeks recently, so I'm mainly reading upbeat, humorous or "lighter" books, so this was just what I needed. It felt like a collection of extended Facebook posts, which I happened to like, but not sure how it would land for someone not familiar with Very British Problems.

[kvazimodla · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s fun! I was so ready for a fun book. It’s also wonderfully comforting, even when out of the comfort zone, if this makes sense. Anxiety is such a common denominator (or maybe it’s just me?)
Also a good list of ideas on reasonable things to do to become (more) zen, as we all aim to be of course. Or not.
The chapter on Blackpool tower quite hit home - my type of crazy :)
Well, tbh lots of things hit home.

[Nori Fitchett · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This book is a wonderful blend of inspiring, humorous, relatable and a teeny bit depressing which in my opinion makes it great!
Life doesn’t have to be crammed with adrenaline adventures and all nighters to be fulfilling. 💙

[Katie Harper · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great read, funny and so unbelievably true to life.

[Rebecca Margetts · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book, non fiction is not something I usually read, so I enjoyed the change. There was something soothing about hearing - in detail, the normality, daily struggles and jokes about a 'normal' family life.

[Gemma · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel by finishing this book I have accomplished a marathon. I love Very British Problems so thought I would love this. However, I found it very difficult to have empathy with the author. Nothing much happens in the book (which is rather the point of the book), but unfortunately it didn’t make me laugh either. Oh well, onto the next book.......

[H.Tugca · Rating 4 out of 5]

A light reading (or listening if you are into audiobooks) with fun touches. Good company on trips.

[Nicki · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was fab audiobook about how you don’t have to go far to have an adventure, in fact you can stay very close to home and still have fun.
Rob Temple has voiced what I think a lot of people struggle with, feeling like they have to keep up with all the social media posts of friends doing extreme sports or going on adventurous holidays to feel alive. Suffering from anxiety from a young age he’s tried to do the adventurous thing but he realised it really didn’t suit him. So he stopped torturing himself and visited places near to his home in Godmanchester instead.
My favourite of his experiences were the crocodile farm, especially that conversation with his Mum about whether the crocodiles might escape in a flood! Being among the bees, haggling at the antique shop, the head massage, Blackpool Tower, the chilli festival, the apple fair and visiting Costco for the first time! I also loved the whole interaction with the duolingo owl, hilarious!
Mathew Baynton was superb narrating this audiobook with the perfect emotions and inflections as he was telling the author’s story. He really did become the author for me, making this such a enjoyable listen. I’ve not listened to an audiobook read by him before, but I do know him from the children’s TV show Horrible Histories, remember the King of Bling and the Adam Ant style Dick Turpin? 😉
If you enjoy gentle amusing memoirs you’ll love this on audio.
Thanks so much NetGalley and Hachette Audio UK for my digital copy via the NetGalley app.

[Gowri N. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book felt like a disturbingly accurate metaphor for life. Partly sad, partly terrifying, and always farcical. Rob Temple (a.k.a. the @SoVeryBritish guy) documents his year of trying to 'get out and do stuff' to battle mental health issues. Very few plans go according to plan but many surprisingly mild situations end up being pleasant.

This is a collection of anecdotes and while Rob touches on MH issues, he doesn't delve too deep into them. That worked fine for me, but I had someone tell me they were expecting a 'deeper' read. :)

[Isabella May · Rating 3 out of 5]

Witty but not quite as joyful as expected

Don't get me wrong: the writing is superb. I am a huge fan of Very British Problems, and the humour is drier than your nan's Christmas sherry. But for all that, the book has quite a negative down in the dumps tinge to it. Maybe it's just me but I was hoping for a more uplifting examination of travel anxiety and sadly, the story didn't quite deliver.

[Heidi · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this but it seemed like an unrelated list of anecdotes that were mildly depressing. Instead of gentle laughs or rueful smiles I felt indifferent to the 'problems'.
I really wish I'd liked this - but I think that's part of the problem - it's trying too hard to be liked.

[Mothwing · Rating 1 out of 5]

I had expected this to be a whole lot funnier and less awkward. Even though I relate to awkwardness as a frequently awkward person, a lot of the time I just felt incredibly frustrated reading about his various exploits.

[Anthony Frobisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Forecast - Mild for the Foreseeable Future

Rob Temple. Double oh mild. The man behind the fantastically funny and very truthful Very British Problems (a book I cherish and refer to often).
A man who wants to do lots things, have mini adventures to add spice to his life, but is often held back by that nagging voice of anxiety, that fear of embarrassment, that seemingly unique British quality of not wanting to make a fuss, upset the apple cart and disturb the status quo (who I actually watched with my Mum in The Cresset, Peterborough - loudest gig I've been to. I digress.)
As someone who has experienced crippling social anxiety, and has spent much time in Peterborough, Born to be Mild resonated with me on every level.
To stop being frivolous for a moment. Rob Temple has written a book that is at times very poignant as well as being very honest, self deprecating and extremely funny. There are not many books that make me laugh out loud or keep me reading while my 10th cup of tea of the day goes cold.
Why is Born to be Mild so good? Because of Rob Temple's honesty, into how his anxiety has left him debilitated, deeply affected - and how in living a day to day ordinary existence, anxiety is carried around as if in a Lidl bag-for-life. Anxiety can weigh heavy or it can be lightly worn. But it persists. I am grateful Temple is able to convey this with humour and at times, gravitas.
A book that was almost a mirror for me. So many of the situations described I have experienced myself; because of anxiety, but also due to my innate Britishness.
If you have an anxious mind and want to find a kindred soul, and to reflect upon how our lives (as humdrum and routine or exciting and varied) are moulded by our social environment, our mental health, our persistent anxiety, then read this book.
Because Born to be Mild is a book that is honest about anxiety, yet positive, uplifting and ultimately life-affirming and relevant.
And for that I am grateful. If I ever meet Rob Temple, I'll buy him a cup of tea and a slice of cake in Queensgate Peterborough. It's the least he deserves.