The Amputee's Guide to Sex

by Jillian Weise

Tired of seeing “cripples” portrayed as asexual characters, Jillian Weise created this stunning lesson in desire and disease. The first section presents disability in a historical context, from the first “deaf and dumb” person granted the right to have sex to the surgeon who first cauterized war wounds. The middle section explores the physician as lover, and the final section depicts the rise and fall of a relationship. Characterized by a flesh-and-blood character, Holman, who also represents the larger tensions that arise between the abled and disabled.

Genres: Poetry, Disability, Contemporary, Nonfiction, Feminism, Disability Studies

84 pages, Paperback

First published February 22, 2007

About the author

The Cyborg Jillian Weise (Cy/Cy's/Cyself, also She/Hers) is a poet, video artist and activist. Recent essays include Common Cyborg and The Dawn of the Tryborg. Cy started Borg 4 Borg Productions and directed the film A KIM DEAL PARTY ft. Eileen Myles, Patricia Lockwood, Alice Wong and more. From 2016-2020, Weise performed the fictional character of Tipsy Tullivan across social.

Reviews

[Jenny (Reading Envy) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jillian Weise got tired of seeing people with disabilities portrayed as lacking in desire and sexuality, and decided to write poems about various topics connected to this idea. These were first published ten years ago but are being republished this year with a new introduction by the author (in poetic form!).

These were very good, from a perspective rarely seen (more please!) I realized after reading that this is a SC poet, just down the road at Clemson University. This means her work is also present at my institution, since we house the SC Poetry Archives. I'll make sure we get this updated version.

Even though this has been around for ten years, there aren't any poems from this collection that I can link to online.

One of my favorites is Bust.

Bust

"His hand felt the plastic of my leg
and he froze. It was our first and last
week. He called to say he wasn't ready
to date me.

He meant he wasn't ready to touch
a hip that wasn't a hip...."

Thanks to the publisher for providing a copy of the new edition through Edelweiss.

[Zachary · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was good! Not many notes

[Kat Stromquist · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting and exciting.

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Impressive and beautiful. Your initial reaction to the title might be to laugh, but then the subject is a sort of cold splash or a good slap to awaken empathy. From various amputee characters in John Irving's fiction to the exploration of phantom limbs in V.S. Ramachandran's work, and most recently reading about people who fetishize amputees in Daniel Bergner's The Other Side of Desire , I seem to have encountered a fair bit about amputees in my reading, but never before an exploration through poetry, and what I appreciated was that nothing felt forced here. With no personal experience of my own to draw on, I still felt these poems told the truth.

[Marlena Chertock · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this book as a Goodreads Giveaway. Jillian Weise is a powder keg. The poems in "The Amputee's Guide to Sex" are strong, raw, beautiful, hard -- microcosms of life. She describes the body as clouds not yet formed, and the different ways we view bodies, through X-rays and sonograms and in the darkness of intimacy. These poems talk back to all the men who ask her to stand up, turn around, ask her to let them see her body. She owns her body in these poems, with powerful images. If you missed this book when it first came out in 2007, like I did, then definitely pick up a copy of the 10th anniversary reissue! It's an important, strong read.

[Colin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked most of these poems a lot, especially the "Notes on the Body" series. Spare but pithy--a lot about internalized ableism, sex, and medicalization. Recommended.

[Aitana · Rating 3 out of 5]

did not read the whole thing because we only had to read certain poems for class, but I did enjoy the parts that I read.

[Emma Grace · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Em," You're probably asking yourself, "What on earth possessed you to read this book?!"
Well, after sitting to a crusty man on a bus from Stirling to Oban and ignoring him asking me, "Can you have sex with your condition?" I wondered what on earth entitled him to ask such a personal question. What entitles anyone except my doctor to talk to me about my CMT? I've gotten to the age where people ask stuff like this to me a lot. Lo, and behold, there were even times this subject came up within the author's poems. I heard this poetry was witty, real, and relatable for anyone with a disability. It did not disappoint, although I may have preferred more prose over poetry. But poetry is a great outlet to get feelings out which are not so clear cut. I laughed and cried (especially at Portrait of the Author After X-Ray) as I read this, and there were several poems I or any other disabled or non-neurotypical person could sympathize with.
Overall, do I recommend?: The able-bodied may better understand the feelings and entrapments disabled people sometimes feel. People who aren't able-bodied can resonate with a kindred spirit. But it definitely isn't a book for everyone; mostly if you don't like poetry or raw openness about life (which can sometimes be crass).

[GONZA · Rating 4 out of 5]

Of all the things, I was not expecting poetry at all, and even if sometimes I thought that prose would have been better, I have to admit that I loved this book a lot. It's not easy and made me uncomfortable many many times, but still it was a worth reading.

Di tutte le cose che non mi aspettavo di leggere in questo libro, sicuramente la poesia era la prima, e anche se a volte ho pensato che magari le stesse cose in forma di prosa potessero essere piú chiare, questo volume mi é piaciuto moltissimo. Non é una lettura facile, la maggior parte delle volte mi ha messo a disagio, ma restano comunque un insieme di bellissime poesie.

THANKS TO EDELWEISS FOR THE PREVIEW!

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

This mostly book of poems is striking. The subject matter, presented by the title, is followed through with in most of the poems, but these are poems, and there are recurring themes and challenges and a lover named Holman. The poems by themselves are, to me, often kind of prosey and maybe often a little too documentary. But when they start to build on themselves, the effect can be pretty powerful, like in the poem "The Surgeon," which folds back on itself to comment on Sexton's poem of the same name. And obviously, the subject matter is important here, and it is presented without self-pity and with clear eyes.

[Mugwump Jism · Rating 2 out of 5]

+4 stars for arresting intimacy cast in various mirrors, a vulnerability's vulnerabilities
-1 star for misleading title (I genuinely thought this was going to be a nonfic ... well, guide to sex for amputees, and I am left thirsty for such reading; this is more diary entries and field reports)
-1 star for book of poetry (pretentious. always happy to read your very best poem; maybe your second and third favourites; but an entire book of poems on 1-3 themes tires and bores; and even if they're good, nothing mounts, nothing coheres)

[Charlie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bold, persistent poems that mainly focus on the lived experience of disability and the way the world tilts and pushes towards ableism, Jillian Weise's The Amputee's Guide to Sex is clear in its assertions and clear in its poetics. I think it's a very good starting point for people who are not natural poetry readers (yet) to see what contemporary poetry can do, who and what issues it can speak to, and how many emotions it can speak to.

[Brandon Amico · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clear, well-constructed, and potent verse. An insightful, impactful book on desire, power dynamics, and ableism. Here, Weise speaks with the voice of a disappointed Greek god, striking down those who have done her wrong but unabashedly examining both the speaker's internal flaws and strengths, and where those cross over.

[Rosita Pederzolli · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book tonight. Poetry is always a great way to educate myself. This is about sex, intimacy, disability, prisons and hospitals. It's bold, ironic and elegant. I loved every single page.
We need to change the way we speak about bodies, the way we think bodies should be. We all have an internalized ableism to destroy in order to change the conversation.

[Sophie · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Didn’t you know? If you knew, / why did you skitter when you spoke? / Why did you put your lips on me? / I thought he would make it. He had / a dead father three years back. / If that doesn’t show how entirely useless / the body becomes, then what does?” - “Bust”, in the third section

It’s good. It’s a very good collection.

[Trish (readtmc) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 1/2 stars

I found this collection while browsing the poetry section of the library and the vulnerability of the first poem "The Amputee's Guide to Sex" immediately drew me. I admit that most of this went over my head but, overall, was struck by how she writes about her disability and sexual and emotional intimacy and all its complexities.

[Yousseif Abdellatif · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quick review: The Amputee's Guide to Sex is a solid starter book on its topic and a snooze if you already know the basics. What worked: plain language and a few real-life stories that stick. What didn't: the same point gets repeated about five times. Recommend for total beginners, skip for anybody who's read two other books on this.

[Morgane · Rating 2 out of 5]

Borrowed it from a friend who got it at the AWP Conference.
I have mixed feelings about reading poetry. I've learned to appreciate it more but this did not hit the mark. I felt like I was missing a lot of references.

[Karol · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reaches deep into a complex range of human body interactions through thoughts, feelings and experiences.
Nice extras: Preface in Way of Journal Entries, Translating the Body, The Amputee’s Guide to Sex, Epilogue, Acknowledgements, Notes and Resources.

[Zoë · Rating 4 out of 5]

“so first I tried to write for the non-disabled audience, a.k.a. the general audience, but I didn’t want it. I feel like disabled writers are often consigned to teach disability 101, on repeat, in perpetuity. When I do it, I feel like I’m begging for my humanity. Plus it bores me.”

[Frances · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like a punch in the face on a very cold night. In the best way. Invigorating.

[Lizz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unabashedly, unashamed poetry about, by, for people with disabilities. Striking.

See my other ten word book reviews at my blog: tenwordbookreviews.wordpress.com

[Ellie Stitzer · Rating 4 out of 5]

would recommend- poems are strong and harsh and some of them hit me hard as to how much i could relate. will definitely be reading more of this author

[Jessie Evans · Rating 5 out of 5]

Big fan of this poetry collection. It was really beautiful and a good way to look at disability studies I believe.

[Frank Karioris · Rating 5 out of 5]

A definitional example of what a well thought out poetry volume. The poems are beyond important, and speak in a register that is open and lingers.

[Chloe Merriman · Rating 4 out of 5]

remarkably vulnerable and intimate depiction of intimacy as a disabled person

[Claudia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely. I'be never read such perfect descriptions of living in a medicalized body. I felt seen and addressed by it. Sexy and raw. No wonder its disabled-famous. I will be revisiting.

[Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked it. Poetry isn quite my thing and I was hoping for clearer insight into the thoughts of the disabled community, but this was an interesting collection overall.

[Emma Kolditz Jensen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read for my master thesis on desexualisation of the disabled body. Many relatable and useful poems.

[Clara Ottati]

lowkey good... and that's coming from someone who hates poetry.