The Sound of Silence: Growing Up Hearing with Deaf Parents

by Myron Uhlberg

An insightful memoir about growing up between the hearing and deaf worlds.Myron Uhlberg was born the hearing son of two deaf parents at a time when American Sign Language was not well established and deaf people were often dismissed as being unintelligent. In this moving and eye-opening memoir, he recalls the daily difficulties and hidden joys of growing up as the intermediary between his parents' silent world and the world of the hearing.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Middle Grade, Biography, Childrens, Biography Memoir, Autobiography

245 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 28, 2019

About the author

Myron Uhlberg is the critically acclaimed and award-winning author of a number of children’s books. He recently published a memoir of his life in Brooklyn, New York, growing up the oldest hearing son of deaf parents. He lives with his wife in Santa Monica and Palm Springs.

Reviews

[Darla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating, inspiring and even horrifying at times. How do deaf parents raise a hearing child? Sign language is essential and at a young age that child finds himself acting as an interpreter for his parents as they interact with the hearing world. Many of those outside the deaf community are bigoted and insulting -- referring to the deaf as "dummies." Young Myron also finds himself designated caretaker for his young brother when epileptic seizures flare up on a nightly basis. An incredible story reminiscent of "A Tree Grows In Brooklyn." Highly recommended.

Thank you to Albert Whitman & Co and Edelweiss for providing a digital ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Andrew Eder · Rating 3 out of 5]

Yay i liked this a lot and left me with many many many questions. luckily i read this with a student of mine who is a CODA so we’re able to chat about my favorite parts. while i enjoyed the book, i found it even more enjoyable for my student to connect with or ask questions about. this life hasn’t been easy for the Deaf community, and this shows many many ups and down.

I read this over the course of weeks so my memory may be a little fuzzy, but it did address some bigger concepts within the community, such as race, racial dialect, prejudice and oppression, accessibility, etc.

definitely recommend, especially because there aren’t many books like this out there.

[Ada Seven · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bu kitap da Türkçe öğretmenimin verdiği bir yaz ödevi kitabıydı. Çok beğendim ama biraz duygusaldı, hatta bayağı duygusaldı. Kitabın yazarı ve ana karakteri aynı kişiydi çünkü kendi gerçek hikayesinden parçalar vardı:
İşitme engelli anne ve babasının çocuğu Myron Uhlberg duyabilen biri olarak doğduğunda onu, zorlu bir yaşam bekliyordu. Amerika'da işitme engelliler ve işiten bireyler eşit karşılanmıyordu bu yüzden onlar için hayat zordu. Myron'un önemli konularda çevirmenlik yapması ve yeni doğan kardeşi Irwin'in ihtiyaçlarıyla ilgilenmeliydi, çünkü Myron dokuz yaşındayken kardeşini çok etkileyecek acıklı bir şey öğrendiler. Irwin ağladığında onu duyabilmesi için yatağını Myron'un odasına koymuşlardı. Bir gece Myron uyandığında Irwin'in ağızını kanlar içinde ve gözlerini beyaz gördü. Hemen annesine ve babasına haber verdi ve o gece Irwin'in epilepsi hastası olup, geceleri beklenmedik bir anda nöbet geçirebileceğini öğrendiler. Artık Myron'un hayatı bir kat daha zorlaşmıştı çünkü geceleri nöbet geçirdiğinde kardeşine ilk müdahaleyi kendisi yapacaktı.
Bu zorlu hayatın tamamını öğrenmek için bu kitabı okuyun ama bence 10 yaş altının okuması sakıncalı olabilir.
Sevgiler: ADA SEVEN

[Samantha (WLABB) · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this adaptation of his adult memoire, I learned about Uhlberg's experience being the hearing son of deaf parents from his birth until he went to college. There were fun times and bad times, happy times and sad times, but what was never lacking was love.

This book hit me hard in the feels right out of the gate, and it's a great testament to how well Uhlberg conveyed his emotions to me. I felt his frustration, rage, shame, worry, confusion, pride, and joy. Many times, he had conflicting emotions, which was understandable, because of his situation, and he did an incredible job helping me feel the full weight of his struggle with his negative emotions.

One thing that stood out, was the amount of responsibility young Myron had to take on. At an early age, he served as his father's ears and voice in the hearing world. He often had to translate for his father, and felt stuck somewhere between being a kid and being an adult. It wasn't just his parents he cared for either. His younger brother suffered from epilepsy, and Myron was tasked with caring for him as well. He never let this responsibility snowball into resentment though, because his love for his brother was so fierce. It took him a little longer to fully embrace his role in his father's life, but he made peace with that as well.

I really loved all these snapshots of Myron's life, which not only allowed me to witness his family's dynamic, but also gave me a window into Deaf culture during the depression era. The prejudice the deaf faced was terrible, but Myron's father didn't let it keep him from succeeding in his endeavors.

This book was written with that warm and lovely nostalgic tone that I adore. That coupled with the fact, that Myron grew up close to my old Brooklyn neighborhood, made this a fun walk down memory lane. I had so such a great time touring Brooklyn, and I really appreciated the historical bits he chose to weave into this story.

Overall, this was a beautiful and touching story of the complicated, but loving, relationship between a father and son, which warmed my heart and filled me with joy.

*ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.

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[Lora Milton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the story of a boy with normal hearing growing up with deaf parents and the issues that caused in a time when disability awareness was significantly less than it is now. It's a very personal story and the situation put a lot of responsibility onto a small child that was often stressful and at times heartbreaking.

Acting as an interpreter between his parents and the hearing world from the time he could talk, young Myron was sometimes put in the uncomfortable position between his father's temper flashes and people he didn't want to insult. Worse, when his younger brother developed epilepsy, he was the one who was expected to deal with seizures that his parents couldn't hear happening.

It was a lot to expect of a child and prevented him from having a normal childhood. Often the cruelty of ordinary people was such that they referred to the parents as "dummies" because they couldn't communicate in ways the general population were used to. It's an ongoing problem today with companies that only offer customer service by phone, assuming anyone deaf can afford specialist equipment for phone communication and not catering to the hard of hearing at all.

It was well written and gave insight into the life of a person born into unusual circumstances. I felt it ended at just the right point too, though I wonder how his parents got on after he grew up and moved away. I think this kind of story is useful for people to get insight into what it's like to grow up in a family where disability creates special circumstances, so those who haven't had this experience can develop empathy for the diversity of people who live among us.

[Addie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to say, this was not what I was expecting. Not at all in a bad way. It was very insightful and explained the feelings of a boy torn between two worlds. I can’t imagine what that would have been like, growing up with deaf parents and needing to translate for them. And in such a different world than we live in now.

As a teen, I knew a girl in my church who was deaf. There were a couple ladies who would come and interpret the service for her, and all of us girls learned how to sign our our young women group’s motto, to make her feel closer to us. When her interpreters couldn’t come to girls camp with us, it was harder. We tried furiously to write instructions and lessons down as we heard them, but it wasn’t the same. She was always so appreciative, but I know it must have been frustrating. This book helped me to see just a glimpse into what her world is like. It’s gotten a lot better since the 1940s for sure, but it’s still hard.

While it was an autobiography of that time in his life, I think that this is a great book to suggest to teens. ASL instructors in middle grade and high school could use it to explain what the deaf are going through. History teachers could use it to help illustrate what it might have been like growing up during the depression and World War II, as well as the cruel effects of racism and intolerance. Readers will see a life of sometimes overwhelming challenges, but also see the learning moments and strength to overcome.

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[Terris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This a wonderfully-told book by Myron Uhlberg about Myron Uhlberg, born in 1933 in Brooklyn, New York, growing up with two deaf parents. It is a heartwarming story about Myron trying to be a child to these parents who loved him but could not communicate with the outside "hearing" world; then, his having to become the "adult" (as early as six years old), translating for his father and mother to the butcher, sales clerk, doctor, or teacher. But though Myron's life was unusual because of circumstances, he learned to appreciate what his parents had had to go through their whole lives because people thought that they were "dummies" just because they couldn't hear. Unfortunately, this is what neighbors, etc. called Mr. and Mrs. Uhlberg, knowing they couldn't hear them -- but Myron could hear them, which brought him sadness and shame. But his mother's love and his father's great care for Myron in everything he did, taught him how to overcome what others thought, and to be a confident and mature person.

This version of Myron's story is an edition written for middle grade children, the original book being Hands of My Father: A Hearing Boy, His Deaf Parents, and the Language of Love (written for adults). However, it is wonderfully written, and I would never have known it was meant for younger readers if I hadn't been told. I highly recommend this one for anyone of any age. It is like seeing the world from a whole new perspective.

[Violet Sky · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was so good & so thought provoking!

Reading about all the responsibility that was put on Myron since he was a young boy was astounding. He lived between two worlds, the hearing world and the Deaf world. It is sad that there couldn't be more overlap between the two worlds, and also that at the time, there wasn't much advocacy for interpreters or more inclusion of people who use ASL. Perhaps it hasn't changed much.

This book put a lot of things into perspective for me. I really enjoy learning more about the Deaf community, especially because my sister is Deaf and I want to be able to fully immerse myself in her world.

I will say that I thought it was interesting how this book ended, "until I left his deaf world forever, twelve years later, on my way to college." Did he plan to never see his family again? I'm sure he still visited and stayed close with his family, so it seems odd to say he left the Deaf world forever. I'm sure Myron is just referring to their home, and no longer living there but it seems as though he was finally ridding himself of a burden. Yes, it was a lot of responsibility and weight to be put on anybody, especially a young boy, but would he want to be fully separate from that? Who am I to judge, given that I grew up hearing with hearing parents.

I didn't realize until after starting this book that it is a young readers version based off of a book called "Hands of My Father." I am curious to read it, even if some of the content has already been summarized in this book.

Overall, I recommend you read this!

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Myron Uhlberg is an author I happened across when I was looking for books about deafness. His picture book, The Sound of All Things was amazing and I wanted to hear more about his life. Highly recommend this, as well as his picture book "Dad, Jackie, & Me," which spends time talking about how his dad related as a deaf adult to the discrimination & exclusion in society that Jackie Robinson faced. All of the stars ❤ It's very slice-of-life and forthright about the challenges & positives of growing up as a CODA.

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really loved this YA memoir and happy to recommend it to my kids. I want to read his longer, adult memoir now. I used to babysit a deaf boy and took some sign language classes so maybe it was particularly of interest to me. But I would think anyone would be intrigued by digging into this story and seeing the unique joys and challenges of growing up hearing w deaf parents in Brooklyn at a time when the deaf community was often misunderstood and ridiculed. I really loved his dad🫶🏼.

[Zeynep Gunduz Seyhan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Çocukların empati duygularını geliştirecek bu tarz kitaplar bastığı için yayınevinin kutluyorum. Çok beğendim hatta gözlerimin dolduğu bile oldu.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had to read this for my ASL class. However, I really enjoyed it. It’s about a hearing boy growing up in NYC with two deaf parents in the 1940’s. Each chapter is a little story about an event or some tradition. It’s actually a book written for children but so is Harry Potter!
A very interesting life he lead. The struggles with hearing parents but wonderful parents.
Very very easy to read. Great for age 10 and older.

[JL Salty · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. The beach scene, when he describes the different personalities of his parents’ friends exhibited thru their signing style?! So beautiful. And I believe I understood that much of their language was “home-sign”, not asl- that kind of blew my mind.

Read this book.

[Becky B · Rating 4 out of 5]

An autobiography of Myron Uhlberg that focuses on his childhood in Brooklyn and what it was like to grow up hearing with two deaf parents.

This book is evidently a young reader’s adaptation of Uhlberg’s autobiography for adults Hands of My Father. Uhlberg’s story is fascinating. Because of his parents’ deafness, he was forced to act as an interpreter between them and the hearing world and act like an adult in some ways from a young age. His younger brother also had epilepsy and required care that, especially at night, his parents wouldn’t be aware of. So he was part-time care taker of his younger brother, the bridge between his parents and the rest of the hearing world, and also a boy in the 40s and 50s who just wanted to be a boy. Uhlberg shares his stories with a good dose of humor and though he admits he sometimes got tired of the responsibilities forced on him, his love for his family also shines through. It sounds like it could be a heavy read, but it isn’t at all. Overall, you get the feeling that he had a happy childhood. His parents were loving and caring (to an extent that puts many other parents to shame…the stories about his father attending ALL his high school football games and ALL his college home football games were quite touching). This is a fantastic addition to children’s literature. My father worked with a man who was deaf when I was quite young and learned some sign language to be able to communicate with him. I remember meeting this man several times at my father’s office, and I realized while reading this I can’t remember not knowing about deafness or sign language learning about it so young. I’m realizing most people probably don’t know someone by name who is deaf by the time they are 3. I’m guessing most readers in elementary school and middle school will still be largely unintroduced to anyone deaf by the time they read this, and it will be a door into a world they know nothing or very little about. It is an important door that is also presented in a very entertaining way. At times heartwarming, very informative, and with moments of laugh out loud humor, follow around a boy who had a unique but also utterly ordinary life. Highly recommended. (And make sure you have a sign language book on hand too, because I think this will inspire many readers to want to learn to sign.)

I received an ARC of this title from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I received an eARC through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

The Sound of Silence is a young reader’s adaptation of Myron Uhlberg’s memoir Hands of My Father. Full disclosure, I didn’t even realize that while I was reading the book which certainly speaks to the quality of the adaptation.

Myron Uhlberg was born in the Great Depression era to two deaf parents. At the time, deafness was greatly misunderstood, and when Myron was born, they weren’t sure if he would be hearing or deaf. However, Myron was born hearing, and unlike his parents who became deaf after illnesses in childhood, he retained his hearing.

Because Myron was hearing, he ended up acting as a de facto liaison between his parents’ world and the hearing world. He served as their interpreter in many situations, including at stores, doctor’s offices, and parent-teacher conferences.

Because Myron didn’t quite fit in to either world, hearing or deaf, he struggled a bit as a child with making friends. It didn’t help either that when his younger brother came along, his brother was diagnosed with epilepsy.

The young-reader adaptation has short easy-to-consume chapters, and the story of Uhlberg’s life is an interesting subject, one that I would have devoured when I was in the targeted age group for this book. Younger readers who are like I was will definitely be interested.

The Sound of Silence releases on May 1.

[Leigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this from the publisher through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

The Sound of Silence is a wonderful middle grade adaptation of The Hands of My Father, a book I knew nothing about going into this read. From the first chapter I knew this was a good book. Myron details his life growing up hearing with two deaf parents. Like most kids Myron was self-conscious of being different from his peers. His family, and especially his father, were often underestimated by neighbors, co-workers, and strangers in this depression era story. His parents were regularly referred to as dummies and they frequently got stares as they communicated in sign. Unlike most kids, though, Myron's ability to hear and sign have him the added responsibility of serving as translators between his parents and the hearing world. The weight of translating included not only interactions with teachers and the butcher, but with doctors in some serious medical situations. I really enjoyed this read and have already recommended it to several friends.

[Mary Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is written from a great perspective! I enjoyed the glimpse into Myron’s world, which must have been quite challenging. His father sounds like a fascinating man. That being said, I didn’t like how the book wasn’t completely linear. The memories followed a generally linear path, but the occasional jumping forward and backward in time could be a bit confusing to children. Also, it didn’t seem like there was much resolution to the story. What happened to Myron’s family, especially his parents, after he went away to college? How were they able to navigate in the “hearing world”? One more thing that didn’t make sense were the parts of the book. They didn’t seem to be needed, as the setting never changed, and there were still jumps back and forth in time within each part. Overall, this was a good read, and I would read it again and recommend it to older kids.

[J · Rating 4 out of 5]

An insightful look into the life of Myron Uhlberg growing up as a hearing person with deaf parents. His father’s need for an interpreter, curiosity about life, and impatience with others’ intolerance of his disability create an interesting story. Myron felt very responsible for his father’s ability to communicate with everyone that isn’t deaf so much so that he felt like he constantly switched between adult and child depending on his father’s needs. This also led to an interesting situation when his younger brother got sick and since his need to learn sign language wasn’t as crucial to the family’s survival in the speaking world. The pressure to always be needed pushes Myron to find some special places to escape from life, and to help deal with both the hearing and the silent worlds he lived in daily.

[Karin · Rating 4 out of 5]

If only I'd known that Uhlberg first wrote a memoir for adults that this is taken from for younger readers (and done well, I might add) I'd have read that. I learned about this book when one of my GR friends posted a review.

This book starts with his birth and ends when he leaves for university (aka college) at eighteen. It's about what it was like growing up as the hearing child of deaf parents in the 1930s and 1940s when most people assumed deaf people were also stupid and treated them badly. Uhlberg was loved, but also expected to translate for his parents, particularly his dad, because he could hear, speak and sign, although he didn't sign as fluently as if he'd been deaf himself. There is quite a bit more, but it's best to read Uhlberg's writing for yourself.

[Kari · Rating 5 out of 5]

This started a little slow but built up momentum enough to excite me for each successive chapter. Myron straddles the worlds of his deaf and hearing lives. As the hearing child of deaf parents he is forced into adult situations when his translation skills are demanded. As a child whose first language was sign, he developed a strong relation through motion with his father in particular.

I would guess that this gives middle grade readers a peek into the minor and major aspects we might otherwise overlook in a world we don't otherwise have access to. At the same time, it shows us how kids are kids and want to be just kids at times.

[Erica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Born in the Great Depression to two Deaf parents, Myron's native language is American Sign Language. As he grows up, he navigates his role as translator for his parents to the hearing world. Along the way there's emergency hospital trips, neighborhood bullies, gatherings at the beach, and landmark events. Myron's life is at turns ordinary and extraordinary but it's always fascinating.

I loved reading details about life in the 30's and 40's through the eyes of a child. The peeks into Deaf culture were great and the way Myron describes the signs beautiful. My favorite parts though were just reading about every day life in the past. Myron's language is beautiful and his writing compelling.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Myron Uhlberg describes what his childhood in the 30s and 40s was like growing up hearing with two deaf parents. His stories related in short chapters are so heartfelt and touching. His burden in being interpreter for his parents and sometimes defender, is balanced with he bond of existing in their own special world of signing and solving unique problems as a family. His relationship with his father is so beautiful; his love for his parents really radiated off the page. Highly recommended for Father’s Day, lovers of unique history, and lovers of different cultures.

[LS Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful! A great biography. I was fascinated by the author’s descriptions of the signing community and the subtleties of things like dialects - wow!! This was both a regular story about a boy growing up in Brooklyn in the early ‘40s, as well as an eye opening and heart wrenching look at a boy forced to be a man when he so young. I’m compelled to read the adult version of this book as well. I will be recommending this as a favorite biography of 2019.

[Alice · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book ! On this journey of 70 plus book we have had, racism and racism, discrimination of all kinds, gender equality and a type of discrimination that we don't talk about, discrimination of those disabilities.

This is a great book explaining the life a deaf person in the hearing world and you don't have to Watch Sue Thomas FB Eye (Which I totally recommend), to get the general idea.

It is well written and interesting. It also made me grateful for my super sonic hearing. It is almost annoying, because I work around people who are almost deaf due to age. So it's fun!

Wonderful book! Thank you!

[Chelsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars? New York book. This was a super quick read. I really enjoyed the story! I think people often don’t realize that when both parents are deaf, the kid has to be the translator. That’s a lot of pressure for a kid and I can’t imagine having to that all the time. I’m sure it just becomes second nature, but still. I liked all the stories within this book about what his life was like growing up.

[myra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having someone in your family who has a disability is not anything to wish for. If it's a parent, it's even harder. This is the story of Myron Uhlberg's childhood. Both of his parents are deaf, and his little brother gets seizures. His life story is very heartwarming and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to read a good book.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I would have read this book sooner. It was an eye-opener for my learning of deaf culture. An easy read, a page-turner. Uhlberg caught my attention early on by his writing style, allowing me to know the characters, his family members, quite well. I think he portrayed the struggles he experienced in perfect form. Heartbreaking but devastating. I really enjoyed this book.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

Memoir of hearing boy growing up with 2 deaf parents during the Great Depression and WWII. A bit slow at times, but would recommend to a student who is curious about the Deaf community especially during that time period. Several references to historical events during that time, which would appeal to students.

[KM · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book written by a twenty-time-marathoner. More importantly, this is the voice of a child of deaf adults, also known as CODA. What's it like to be like Uhlberg's mum who had become deaf as an infant? What about his dad who had lost his hearing at the age of three? And their child who can hear and sign?
If there is anything I have learned the most from this youn reader adaptation of Uhlberg's memoir, it is empathy.

[Valerie Biggam · Rating 3 out of 5]

From the 23-24 Battle of the Books list. This was a good memoir, but it skewed elementary to me rather than middle school. Not sure if middle schoolers will be engaged by it, but we will see. A redesign of the cover art and expanding some chapters would go a long way. I am very interested in reading the adult edition of his memoir.