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Straight Enough: A Memoir
Lorinda Boyer strove continuously to be virtuous in the eyes of God and to live the life she believed He intended for her. She married her high school boyfriend at eighteen and had two kids by twenty-eight. Although she created a perfect Christian home for her family, she never felt wholly content in her role as wife and mother. Then her life intersected with Robin's-the woman who would ultimately awaken her sexuality and show her true love for the first time. Struggling to come to terms with her sexual identity within the confines of her strict fundamentalist Christian upbringing, Lorinda is pushed into living a double one part perfect housewife and mother, the other part sexual addict. She soon finds herself in the fight for her life. More than a coming-out story, this is a coming-into story-coming into an authentic life and self.
254 pages, Paperback
Published July 20, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
November 8, 2021
Lorinda has been a friend and colleague since our babies were babies. I was excited to purchase and read her book in support and friendship. What I found was so much more. We never really know all the struggles our friends are going through. Here, Lorinda shares the things so many are afraid to talk about ... to say ... to feel. Here, you will find strength, courage, and the journey of a life. Here, there's something for everyone to relate to: being lost, being found, being loved and in love. Look, read, feel and come away, with not only a new understanding for Lorinda and her family, but perhaps, a new understanding of yourself, as well as a true understanding of Straight Enough.
November 7, 2021
Inspiring and life-changing
Lorinda Boyer’s memoir, Straight Enough, should be an eye-opener to the reader if they persist to the end. It can be shocking to some and saddening to others. In the end, it is life-changing and redeeming to all. Lorinda boldly leads us through the first several chapters of her “sexual addiction,” while seemingly hopelessly trying to be true to her Christian faith and to be a loyal wife and devoted mother. This could draw a cynic to the hopelessness of her ever recovering. Then in Chapter 14, she determines to turn her life around and embarks on a Christian healing program. From then on through the next several chapters, the reader is gripped in her emotional turmoil and crises. She takes them through a roller coaster of failed attempts to quit sexual rendezvous, cognitive dissonance about her sexual identity and guilt, rejection by her faith-based program, perceived lack of help with psychotherapy, breaking up from her husband, and eviction from her rental home, and finally driven to desperation and hopelessness. The only way she found to end it all was by attempting to take her life.
Having had a second chance, Lorinda realized her responsibility, affirmed her newfound identity, and acted on her extreme sexual urge. Through it all, she managed to stay focused and drew strength from the challenges she had to overcome. First, it was Robin and then Sandy, who were crucial to her journey of self-discovery. The Lorinda I knew in 2014 when I joined the gym where she was an instructor was a smart, witty, and engaging woman who kept us, her senior exercise group, moving and exuberant.
In opening up and telling her transforming story to the world, Lorinda was courageous, candid, and enlightening. She wrote it with deep emotion and patience. After her internal debate and losing her mother’s affection over her faith and actions, ultimately, with maturity, she questioned her fundamental Christian beliefs and attempted to regain her mother’s love. Those in the straight world, as well as the trans world, will benefit by reading her book, Straight Enough, to become aware of the complexities of gender dynamics. I recommend this book highly for both parents and youth.
Lorinda Boyer’s memoir, Straight Enough, should be an eye-opener to the reader if they persist to the end. It can be shocking to some and saddening to others. In the end, it is life-changing and redeeming to all. Lorinda boldly leads us through the first several chapters of her “sexual addiction,” while seemingly hopelessly trying to be true to her Christian faith and to be a loyal wife and devoted mother. This could draw a cynic to the hopelessness of her ever recovering. Then in Chapter 14, she determines to turn her life around and embarks on a Christian healing program. From then on through the next several chapters, the reader is gripped in her emotional turmoil and crises. She takes them through a roller coaster of failed attempts to quit sexual rendezvous, cognitive dissonance about her sexual identity and guilt, rejection by her faith-based program, perceived lack of help with psychotherapy, breaking up from her husband, and eviction from her rental home, and finally driven to desperation and hopelessness. The only way she found to end it all was by attempting to take her life.
Having had a second chance, Lorinda realized her responsibility, affirmed her newfound identity, and acted on her extreme sexual urge. Through it all, she managed to stay focused and drew strength from the challenges she had to overcome. First, it was Robin and then Sandy, who were crucial to her journey of self-discovery. The Lorinda I knew in 2014 when I joined the gym where she was an instructor was a smart, witty, and engaging woman who kept us, her senior exercise group, moving and exuberant.
In opening up and telling her transforming story to the world, Lorinda was courageous, candid, and enlightening. She wrote it with deep emotion and patience. After her internal debate and losing her mother’s affection over her faith and actions, ultimately, with maturity, she questioned her fundamental Christian beliefs and attempted to regain her mother’s love. Those in the straight world, as well as the trans world, will benefit by reading her book, Straight Enough, to become aware of the complexities of gender dynamics. I recommend this book highly for both parents and youth.
October 28, 2021
A book of raw honesty, and pure feelings. Lorinda's journey in this is pure, inspirational, and jarring at points. She delves into her loves, her pains, her regrets, but most notably her triumph's over demons that were created and ones created herself. A book like this one can and should help others find their voice and power to meet their challenges. Bravo for what is going to come next.
November 30, 2021
This book had me laughing, crying, sighing in pain and sighing over the romance… a rollercoaster of a ride. Many people may be shocked by the opening pages, but what I think Lorinda is doing is setting the reader on a path that many people have never experienced. Those of us who experienced sexual abuse or trauma at a young age will completely see their own behavior in Lorinda’s sexual acting out.
It resonated with me, and I felt the pain of the cost to her psyche each sexual encounter brought with it.
Her struggles with a closed minded, fundamentalist family are eye opening. Love is given only under specific rules of behavior. Many “other than” black sheep have experienced this tragedy within their own families, no matter the belief system. Lorinda does a great job of giving the reader the sense of self-doubt, self-hatred and eventually self-acceptance and love that people in the fringe experience in their lives.
I loved this book. It’s a triumph of spirit and a journey of self-discovery that can be celebrated and enjoyed.
It resonated with me, and I felt the pain of the cost to her psyche each sexual encounter brought with it.
Her struggles with a closed minded, fundamentalist family are eye opening. Love is given only under specific rules of behavior. Many “other than” black sheep have experienced this tragedy within their own families, no matter the belief system. Lorinda does a great job of giving the reader the sense of self-doubt, self-hatred and eventually self-acceptance and love that people in the fringe experience in their lives.
I loved this book. It’s a triumph of spirit and a journey of self-discovery that can be celebrated and enjoyed.
November 9, 2021
From the first page the author lets the reader know they’re in for a courageous yet perilous journey of discovery. She bares her inner most secrets in a way that's one part honest and one part shocking. The prose is evocative and transports the reader to a dark place. Then she shows us a light. A light that shines on a path. A path to a world we should all encompass. A world of acceptance and compassion. A world each of us desires for the authentic self that hides inside us. Ms. Boyer has brought her authentic self into the light to remind us we don’t have to be afraid. Just brave.
November 6, 2021
This story is so beautifully written it hurts! On one hand, it is difficult to read of such a deeply personal struggle, while on the other, the author’s candid and straight forward narration draws the reader in. It is a vivid and compelling journey from the darkness of despair along an uncertain path towards lightness and self-redemption.
In sum, this story is inspirational for anyone who deals with a personal struggle on any level. It’s a true story of faith, strength, and love.
And ultimately, it’s a story of gratitude.
In sum, this story is inspirational for anyone who deals with a personal struggle on any level. It’s a true story of faith, strength, and love.
And ultimately, it’s a story of gratitude.
November 6, 2021
This is a very engaging and heartfelt story about the trauma, trials and tribulations of a young girl coming to terms with her sexuality in the midst of a strict religious family and of trying to fit into social norms.
Excellent read and very enlightening!
Highly recommended!!
Excellent read and very enlightening!
Highly recommended!!
November 15, 2021
I couldn’t put this memoir down, and was rooting for Lorinda the whole way. She’s a compelling storyteller, and will pull you along with her as she shares her joy, sorrow, fear, frustration, compulsion, love, hurt, hope and humor. She’s a gifted writer, and her story will help many people who are fighting to live their authentic truth.
October 30, 2021
Straight Enough is honest, courageous and compelling. This is a story that remained hidden for far too long. Lorinda Boyer found her voice, overcame the fear of judgement and put her life on paper and for that we should all be grateful.
December 13, 2022
A beautifully written memoir full of heartwrenching and heartwarming moments.
The author writes honestly and beautifully, capturing poignantly-felt memories in a way that truly resonated with me as a reader. This story changed my life and challenged the deeply-rooted ways in which it is all too easy to feel stuck in life.
I was shocked how often, and how perfectly, Lorinda captured the range of emotions in the human experience. Even if on the outset you believe your life is very different from that of the author, you might be very surprised to feel as if you are walking your path and in the author's shoes at the same time. For me, there was certainly a sense of camaraderie and connection in these pages, weaving through Lorinda's story and finding understandings of my own.
This book stirred complex emotions and questions for me: in what ways do we hold ourselves back to "play the part" or to make others happy? How do we limit our lives based on the fear of judgment? What is the secret to living the life of our dreams, finding happiness, and feeling comfortable with ourselves?
There are no simple or easy answers to these big life questions. I highly recommend this memoir for anyone who feels like they are lost, holding themselves back in some way, or not achieving their full potential in life.
In this beautifully told memoir, you'll follow along Lorinda's journey...and come out with answers of your own.
The author writes honestly and beautifully, capturing poignantly-felt memories in a way that truly resonated with me as a reader. This story changed my life and challenged the deeply-rooted ways in which it is all too easy to feel stuck in life.
I was shocked how often, and how perfectly, Lorinda captured the range of emotions in the human experience. Even if on the outset you believe your life is very different from that of the author, you might be very surprised to feel as if you are walking your path and in the author's shoes at the same time. For me, there was certainly a sense of camaraderie and connection in these pages, weaving through Lorinda's story and finding understandings of my own.
This book stirred complex emotions and questions for me: in what ways do we hold ourselves back to "play the part" or to make others happy? How do we limit our lives based on the fear of judgment? What is the secret to living the life of our dreams, finding happiness, and feeling comfortable with ourselves?
There are no simple or easy answers to these big life questions. I highly recommend this memoir for anyone who feels like they are lost, holding themselves back in some way, or not achieving their full potential in life.
In this beautifully told memoir, you'll follow along Lorinda's journey...and come out with answers of your own.
November 13, 2021
I've heard it said that we don't remember what people say or do but how they make us feel. I will remember this book in just the same way. Its author made me feel inspired by exemplifying the finest and rarest of all humans traits: courage. While Lorinda Boyer appears on the surface to be living an ordinary life in Washington with her husband and two children, her circumstances are extraordinary. She is trapped--utterly and completely--within the narrow-minded circle of her church and family, who've bound her so tightly in traditional expectations she's initially blinded to her own needs and doesn't know what to do with them when she stumbles across them. When she first falls in love with a woman, rather than celebrating her newfound identity with joy and relief, she is haunted by guilt and shame. She becomes her own worst enemy in the lengths she'll go in trying to deny her own basic nature and go against "the will of God." The ways Lorinda finds to punish herself en route to self-love and self-acceptance form the central conflict of this story--which I found gripping. This story explores the disturbing and ongoing intolerance around sexual orientation, but it is also a universal story of the search for self. I would recommend it to anyone interested in exploring the cages we build for ourselves and how we can find a way to break free. A great read!
January 17, 2022
Reading this book was an emotional experience for me. I worked with Lorinda at the library for many years, and while I remember most of the events that she talks about during that time period, I didn’t know all of the whys nor the depth of the pain she was feeling. Knowing this now makes me wish that I had been there for her in a bigger way.
That said, this book is an extremely honest, raw account of Lorinda’s struggles with sexual abuse, addiction, and identity. All the while trying to stay sane, and to find happiness, in a world that didn’t understand her and didn’t really want to. A world that tossed her aside when she didn’t live up to it’s standards. As other reviewers have mentioned, parts of this book are very hard to read, but it’s those parts that really help to illustrate the inner struggle between the person she thought she should be, and the person so desperately trying to break free.
Whether you’ve had similar struggles, or would like to gain empathy for others who have, this well-written book will leave you with plenty to think about.
That said, this book is an extremely honest, raw account of Lorinda’s struggles with sexual abuse, addiction, and identity. All the while trying to stay sane, and to find happiness, in a world that didn’t understand her and didn’t really want to. A world that tossed her aside when she didn’t live up to it’s standards. As other reviewers have mentioned, parts of this book are very hard to read, but it’s those parts that really help to illustrate the inner struggle between the person she thought she should be, and the person so desperately trying to break free.
Whether you’ve had similar struggles, or would like to gain empathy for others who have, this well-written book will leave you with plenty to think about.
December 4, 2021
This memoir is for everyone, anyone who has ever experienced trauma in any facet or understanding their friends or loved ones journey into self love and acceptance as you read Lorinda's words. I met and became friends with Lorinda Boyer years ago, not knowing the battle she truly internalized and a witness to her present happiness. From the first paragraph I was drawn in and couldn't put the book down. Lorinda pulls you into her world, her hurt, her heart and her struggle with the faith she only knew. As a person who has experienced sexual abuse, Lorinda words resonated loudly and I knew where she was in her battle for self acceptance. I cried for her hurt, I laughed at her light hearted words and I felt the passion of her first sexual experience. I had to fan myself!
Let's just say, I read the book in two short days and I am honored to be her friend. So many people need to read this book.
Straight Enough is a pain beautiful journey towards self love and truth.
Let's just say, I read the book in two short days and I am honored to be her friend. So many people need to read this book.
Straight Enough is a pain beautiful journey towards self love and truth.
December 5, 2021
I was thoroughly inspired by the raw courage and honesty revealed on every page of this book as well as the depth of self-examination required to write this memoir. Lorinda Boyer is a gifted writer and a brave soul. Congratulations on a remarkable achievement.
PS. By the way, I was truly puzzled by a review written by Andie wherein she claims that she found Straight Enough in a half-price bookstore which caused me to question the authenticity of her review because this book can’t be found in such a bookstore given its release date. I think Andie might first want to get the book and read it before writing a review.
PS. By the way, I was truly puzzled by a review written by Andie wherein she claims that she found Straight Enough in a half-price bookstore which caused me to question the authenticity of her review because this book can’t be found in such a bookstore given its release date. I think Andie might first want to get the book and read it before writing a review.
March 24, 2023
Effortless read. I didn't want to put it down, stayed up as late as I could to see what was happening next. Very well-written and moving. I felt the author's pain every step of the way, and took away some powerful lessons, including the silencing or denying of one's true identity creating undesired and unhealthy behaviors. Definitely would recommend this book to anyone who wants to know about LGBTQ struggles from a conservative Christian point of view, or anyone going through similar struggles themselves.
December 13, 2021
To be honest, parts of this book were difficult to read. BUT I would strongly encourage everyone to read this book. For those struggling with identity and expectations, internal or external, it encourages you to be honest and true to yourself. For those who believe they have it all figured out, it reminds you that the people around you should be treated with grace and kindness. We all have our struggles. Lorinda reminds us that we’re not alone and it is possible to have happy endings.
November 14, 2021
This book hits home to anyone who has grown up in the church and struggles with the parameters we are taught to live by. It’s gritty, honest and courageous. I couldn’t put it down!
March 2, 2025
Reading this book was pretty painful.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews