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I Love Me More: How to Find Happiness and Success through Self-Love

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Amazon Best Seller in Self Esteem 2023 National Indie Excellence Winner in Women's Health A guide to why we should first love ourselves and how to go about it Most women have been conditioned to believe that self-love is selfish and that self-sacrifice is a virtue. Many focus their desire for love and wholeness outside themselves and onto others, such as their partners, only to feel disappointed that they don’t get back what they give. Does this ring true for you? With I Love Me More , entrepreneur, speaker, and single mom Jenna Banks crushes the myths about how we should relate to ourselves. She wants to help you stop freely giving all your power away and start understanding your worth. Jenna uses highly relatable examples from her life story to convey important messages about how you can live a fuller, more rewarding life by embracing your own value and power. I Love Me More details valuable, empowering lessons, • You must love yourself more than anyone else.
• It’s okay to say no.
• Don’t look for external approval. What you feel about yourself is what matters most.
• How you treat yourself is how you will be treated by others.
• Always trust your intuition, even when it makes no sense.
• Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Jenna’s down-to-earth, personable voice guides you through topics such as defining self-love, the ways we sabotage self-love, how to put yourself first, how to use self-love to be valued at work, how to balance caring for yourself and caring for others, and much more. Following Jenna’s lead, you’ll learn to embrace your inner warrior goddess!

280 pages, Hardcover

Published March 8, 2022

187 people are currently reading
8170 people want to read

About the author

Jenna Banks

4 books57 followers
Jenna Banks is a social entrepreneur, public speaker, author, podcast host and self-love advocate. Having survived a traumatic upbringing, as well as a nearly fatal suicide attempt, she was able to thrive in the business world, despite being armed with only a high school equivalency diploma.

Early in her career, she worked in management and entrepreneurial roles, producing marketing products for major movie studios in Los Angeles, including Sony Pictures Entertainment, Paramount Pictures, and Warner Bros. She has also worked in the toy and games industry, including with well-known brands such as Hasbro, Mattel, and Lego.

As someone who learned to never question her instincts, she trusted the inner call to quit her comfortable six-figure corporate job and start a home-based marketing products business in 2012 with $400 and a laptop. While running the company, she simultaneously ramped up a profitable real-estate venture and then later sold her marketing products business for $500,000.

Since selling her company, she’s now focused on what she feels is her higher purpose: to share her story and her message of empowerment and the incredible importance of self-love with the world through her writing; speaking engagements; The Jenna Banks Show, a video series; and Tiger Feather an empowerment brand for women and girls. When she’s not working, Jenna enjoys collecting fine art, playing tennis, traveling, spending time with friends and family, and connecting with and inspiring other women to succeed and be empowered.

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5 stars
131 (33%)
4 stars
120 (30%)
3 stars
91 (23%)
2 stars
33 (8%)
1 star
17 (4%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
7 reviews1 follower
May 20, 2022
Full disclosure - I was married for 23 years to the man that the author is currently dating. I did not know that when I stumbled across a video podcast she had done with the ex-wife of the Wolf of Wall Street. I cannot say that I really followed what she was doing, but I had a mild curiosity about her story after seeing the podcast.

Then two days ago, my ex-husband showed up in her social media, and eight pictures of them kissing, embracing and traveling the world were broadcast out to my family, friends and children. In that post, she reported being in the most healthy relationship of her life, and this really made me curious because the same man served me with divorce papers while I was making dinner for him one evening. No discussion. No agency. No reason.

After the first mediation of our divorce, I sought medical intervention at the behest of my attorney. I was ultimately diagnosed dysthymia and complex PTSD due to relational trauma, ritual abandonment and emotional abuse. I was partially hospitalized for three months while continuing to care for three teenage girls largely on my own. I made it through that experience by radically accepting the fact that I could never understand what had happened to me due to the deceit and manipulation I endured. I learned that people who have been abused typically abuse other people, and I learned that my personal integrity, generosity and loyalty are strengths and vulnerabilities because these traits open me to abuse from someone with classic narcissistic leanings.

For the author to now be in the healthiest relationship of her life with the man that nearly broke me, I had to know her story - her magic, if you will.

I will say up front, that I purchased the audio book but could not finish it. So much of what she described in the relationship she left hit too close to home. The book feels like an opinion piece, and I do think that this is one way that you could go to find your way through trauma. I took a different path - putting in the work of 300 hours of therapy and rediscovering who I was after being completely insignificant, abused, ignored and disrespected for nearly two decades.

My ex-husband has reviewed this book as well, and he can't want for this three Gen-Z daughters to read it. Fortunately, I home-schooled those three daughters for nearly 6 years, and they were cherished, supported and loved. They were taught to reason and think critically. In fact, they do love themselves an appropriate amount, and they are also able to make the decision to put someone else first. They know that service is a gift they can give to others that actually fills their tank, and they have an incredible awareness of the danger "me" thinking can do in a society that is increasingly moving in that direction. They are the greatest investment of my life, and I respectfully disagree with him. My girls do not have a great deal to learn from Ms. Banks, and I hope that they avoid the type of healthy relationship she has.
Profile Image for Jace.
17 reviews
November 24, 2024
This was one of the worst self-help books I have ever read, and was a huge waste of my time. This book was very, very basic, and was just a summary of many other books, written by actual mental health professionals, unlike this author. It was just a rehashing with no new information. This book doesn’t talk to the reader as an equal, the reader talks down to the reader as if the author somehow is all knowing, which is absurd. This book also makes sweeping generalizations and assumptions.
2 reviews1 follower
March 21, 2022
There's so much value here! In every chapter there are relatable stories and invaluable lessons, especially for women. This should be required reading for all young women, encouraging them to see the ways in which other generations of women have given away their power, their happiness - in an effort to please others, but ultimately in a way that isn't good for anyone.
Profile Image for Terri.
643 reviews
March 4, 2022
Are you looking for a book that says it's ok to spend time on yourself? This book has some concrete ways for you to spend time on yourself, and how NOT to feel guilty about it. We as women, are taught to put others before ourselves. TO make sure that everyone else is taken care of first. This book, tells us that it's ok, to stop and take time for ourselves. Definitely one that we should all read and pay attention to.
Profile Image for Mae Wagner.
Author 22 books100 followers
December 27, 2024
Self-love is a deep passion of mine. It’s very rare when a self-love focussed book isn’t just another plastic “addition” to the misconstrued, inaccessible, or out of touch Self-care noise. I find myself so jaded by so much of what’s out there that when this booo blew up on TikTok I was hesitant.

I’m so glad I gave it a chance!

This book is a new addition to the resource books I keep on hand for working with clients! A rare jewel in a sea of fodder, these pages of guidance offer gentle and much needed insights and approach!
Profile Image for Shana Pilny.
38 reviews
March 30, 2025
It's basically an autobiography with self righteous accomplishments. This book tells one what they need to do but not how to do it.
Profile Image for Angélique .
25 reviews1 follower
April 5, 2025
This is not your typical self-help book, and that's what I loved about it. I listened to the audiobook (read by the author) so it felt very intimate. I wasn't expecting such hard-hitting, personal testimonies, right from the start. I had a few good cries while listening because of both what she went through and how I relate. If anyone is going to tell you how to love yourself, it should be this woman.
Profile Image for Krystal Brown.
17 reviews1 follower
May 9, 2024
Very eye opening on setting boundaries. Such a good read
Profile Image for Michelle.
428 reviews2 followers
March 16, 2025
This is one I will continue to come back to. Whether it be the whole book or specific chapters. The attached PDF is so helpful and I can’t wait to dive into the journaling.
Profile Image for KT Miguel.
3 reviews1 follower
February 20, 2023
I’ve always known that you had to be whole to give to others. What I didn’t know is that I wasn’t and that there are situations and feelings that could have been better.

For all those who are looking into self-discovery, self-improvement and self-love, this book with journal helped me understand myself and situations where I am at and opened my eyes in what I need to do and change.

Hope this book helps you too. Thank you Jenna Banks for sharing your journey into self-love.

Cheers to loving ourselves more!
39 reviews
February 16, 2022
Jenna’s comeback story is incredible. From significant childhood trauma to entrepreneur, author, podcast host, and women’s empowerment advocate, her stories and lessons are interesting, relevant, and easily applied by anyone (especially women) who could use a little help with boundaries, relationships, and being kinder to ourselves. Easy, enjoyable, and useable read.
Profile Image for Jennifer.
159 reviews4 followers
December 23, 2024
While she definitely calls in some pseudoscience, at least she admits that what she's sharing is not scientific

But the whole "if you just put out good energy you get it back" is pretty annoying to me

I loved when her boyfriend became abusive and she said it was the universe signalling for her to move on. Like, just use your brain. You don't need to have enough positive vibes and enough experience listening to the universe to understand that "sign"

My "favorite" advice she gave was her advice on how to stop apologizing unnecessarily. Just pay attention and then stop doing it. Great advice. Much helpful

It did have some helpful tips and reminders though for prioritizing yourself, so it moved up from one star
Profile Image for Lisa.
156 reviews1 follower
May 14, 2022
It’s nice that the author is the narrator for this audiobook. I think her voice is pleasant. At the beginning of the book, the story about her past held my attention. However, she began to quote Deepak Chopra and talk about astral travel, vibrations, and other woo-woo things that I’m not buying. Unfortunately, this book isn’t what I hoped it would be so I didn’t finish it and ended up returning it to get my credit back.

I think someone that is very into “spiritual” things or new age would like this book.
Profile Image for Savannah Smith.
53 reviews
August 8, 2022
This is probably the best book I ever read. The first few pages grabbed me so emotionally - as I struggle with severe anxiety and depression. After reading a few pages, I had to put the book down, because change is scary, and some of us delay as long as we can, for fear of failure.
I picked up the book 2 months later, and read the whole thing at once. I am ready to change my life and prioritize self care, because if we do not take care of ourselves, we simply cannot take care of others.
45 reviews1 follower
March 14, 2025
I got caught up in the hype from other people recommending this book. It’s not a book that I’d be recommending to others. It’s not bad, it’s just that I’ve got other books in this genre that I I’d recommend over this one.
Profile Image for Simran L.
29 reviews1 follower
Read
October 27, 2025
Unfortunately not a good book :/ thought it would be insightful but it was just super opinion based with no going under the surface level.
Profile Image for Sarah Jensen.
2,090 reviews175 followers
May 10, 2025
Book Review: I Love Me More: How to Find Happiness and Success through Self-Love by Jenna Banks

Overview and Core Thesis
Jenna Banks’ I Love Me More: How to Find Happiness and Success through Self-Love presents a modern manifesto on the transformative power of self-love as the foundation for personal fulfillment and professional achievement. The book argues that traditional success narratives—often rooted in self-sacrifice, external validation, and relentless ambition—lead to burnout and dissatisfaction. Instead, Banks advocates for a radical shift toward self-prioritization, emotional awareness, and boundary-setting as the keys to sustainable happiness and success.

While the book aligns with contemporary self-help trends, its most compelling contribution lies in its practical reframing of self-love as a strategic tool rather than a vague, feel-good concept.

Key Strengths: Practical and Psychological Insights
1. Redefining Self-Love Beyond Clichés
Banks moves beyond superficial affirmations (“just love yourself!”) to present self-love as an actionable practice involving:

Boundary-setting (saying no without guilt).
Emotional self-honesty (recognizing and validating personal needs).
Intentional self-investment (time, resources, and energy directed inward).
This approach demystifies self-love, framing it as a discipline rather than an abstract ideal.

2. The Link Between Self-Love and Professional Success
A standout section challenges the myth that selflessness leads to career advancement. Banks demonstrates how self-advocacy, confidence, and resilience—byproducts of self-love—directly enhance productivity, leadership, and opportunities. Case studies (e.g., women negotiating salaries, entrepreneurs avoiding burnout) ground these principles in real-world outcomes.

3. Tools for Sustainable Implementation
Unlike many motivational books, I Love Me More provides structured exercises:

Self-audit templates to assess personal fulfillment gaps.
Scripts for difficult conversations (e.g., setting workplace boundaries).
Habit-tracking frameworks to reinforce self-prioritization.
These tools elevate the book from theoretical discussion to a usable guide.

Weaknesses: Over-Reliance on Anecdotal Evidence
While Banks’ personal stories and client examples add relatability, the book would benefit from:

More empirical support: References to psychological studies on self-compassion and performance could strengthen claims.
Diverse perspectives: Most examples center on high-achieving professionals, potentially alienating readers facing systemic barriers (e.g., financial instability, discrimination).
Deeper critique of “hustle culture”: The book occasionally glosses over societal pressures that make self-love difficult (e.g., gig economy precarity).
Recommendations for Improvement
To broaden its academic and practical appeal, the book could:

Incorporate interdisciplinary research: Blend self-help with neuroscience or behavioral economics to explain why self-love strategies work.
Address intersectional challenges: Explore how race, class, or disability influence self-love accessibility.
Include counterarguments: Engage critiques (e.g., “Is self-love just selfishness?”) to refine its philosophy.
Conclusion: A Refreshing but Narrow Framework
I Love Me More succeeds in translating self-love from a buzzword into a tactical approach to well-being and achievement. Its exercises and career-focused insights are particularly valuable, though its reliance on anecdotal evidence limits its universality.

Rating: 3.8/5

Strengths: Actionable tools, career applicability, demystification of self-love.
Limitations: Lack of scientific rigor, narrow demographic focus.
Best for: Professionals seeking a pragmatic, non-cliché self-help resource. Readers needing structural or trauma-informed perspectives may require supplemental material.
Profile Image for LaShane Arnett.
Author 9 books34 followers
December 13, 2024
I honestly believe books tend to find you when you need them most. "I Love Me More" by Jenna Banks found me just as I am navigating through the next chapter of my life—the after fifty, post menopausal journey toward my authentic self; a journey that begins with self-love.

"I Love Me More" is an empowering guide to understanding the true meaning of self-love.

Jenna is a beautiful and conscientious author. She takes the reader through the painful trials and tribulations of her lived experiences, to help them understand, in order to find happiness and success one must take an unbiased look within themselves.

She inspires the reader to dive deep beneath the surface with journal prompts to cess out aspects of self that hinder them from truly knowing, and eventually loving themselves—aspects such as limiting beliefs and negative self talk.

"I Love Me More" will help the reader restore their balance and guide them toward reconnecting with their innate power.

Whether you’re at the beginning, or in the middle of your journey I highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to embrace this power and learn how to truly love oneself.

I am immensely grateful Jenna’s amazing book found me.
1 review2 followers
February 18, 2022
Buy this book--in fact, buy a copy for every girl and women in your life! I simply could not put this book down--I read it in 2 days. Jenna's approach is a perfect blend of art and science. She uses her life experiences, personal development and research to create an engaging yet applicable set of tools to help anyone truly change their life. But I think it goes deeper than that. If you think about what applying these principles could look like at scale--as in large corporations or even our society as a whole--greater self-love could help us create a more inclusive workforce, true gender equality and in fact, a better world. I've already begun applying Jenna's ideas to my life but as a father of 3 teenage, Gen-Z girls, I can't wait for my daughters to read it. Thank you Jenna Banks!
Profile Image for Molly.
6 reviews1 follower
January 6, 2025
At first, I truly enjoyed this book and found myself highlighting and writing little notes about what I was reading. As I continued to read, I didn’t find myself gaining new information or perspective. This felt like a typical self help book without anything that truly stood out.

I like that there was a big emphasis on putting yourself first and avoiding people pleasing but I have also learned this from every other self help book I’ve read.

One thing I did like was how the book reframes “putting yourself first” as a necessary step in showing up for other people, making the act feel less selfish. I felt that this was a good reframing for people who have trouble taking care of their own needs before others.
1 review1 follower
April 14, 2022
So many times we hear that putting yourself first is very selfish. Jenna does a great job showing you that it is not a selfish act. As women, we tend to put everyone before us. We tend to say yes to everything even when it does not serve us. Jenna shares invaluable tips on how to handle each situation. I will be putting these tips into action. I highly suggest anyone wanting to learn more about Self-Love to grab a copy of Jenna's book.
Profile Image for Candy Washington.
Author 4 books1 follower
May 18, 2022
I had the pleasure of interviewing Jenna on my podcast, Sugar Pills: A Practical Guide to Self-Care (Episode 120) and reading her book while prepping for out time together was such a huge blessing! The insights and stories that she shares is just a powerful reminder of how loved we are and how deserving of our own love we are as well. Highly recommend for those seeking a guide to self-love that's endearing and heartfelt.
Profile Image for J.K..
Author 4 books76 followers
December 3, 2024
I have high expectations for any book starting off with a Lucille Ball quote. The author dives right in by sharing vulnerable and personal aspects of her life and growing up which helps drive home the points of putting oneself first. I especially loved the idea that self love is a verb and something that you continuously work on and towards. A good book for anyone trying to break the people pleasing cycle.
Profile Image for Lexi Morey.
112 reviews
July 21, 2025
I liked a lot of the concepts in this book and found it encouraging/motivating. I would’ve liked it more if she spent less time talking about her dating history and how all of her exes weren’t good enough for her in different ways lol I understand using personal examples to illustrate a point, but this was like reality tv meets self help and it was too much. Also, the audiobook reader’s inflection and emphasis was a bit overly dramatic. Overall some good takeaways, though
Profile Image for KP.
39 reviews7 followers
May 13, 2022
You can tell Jenna has put a lot of work into this book. Just the quotes alone are a great resource. Her stories, some tough to hear, stick with you and she does an amazing job making her tips relatable and meaningful. I have learned already that I give my power away to too many people. That stops today!
Profile Image for Sarah Gnatiuk.
70 reviews
August 25, 2024
Loved this book and so glad I have a physical copy so that I can go back and reread some sections when it's needed. So much relatable and practical advice told in an easy to read and manageable way. I also appreciate the author's vulnerability in sharing her personal stories and experiences to help get the points across.
116 reviews
September 29, 2024
It took me a little over 2 weeks to finish this book, not because it was a bad read, but because there were so many things I just needed to sit, reflect and absorb. I am not a fan of self help books but I needed this. It has now armed me with the tools I need to practice self love and be my whole authentic self. I’ll more than likely go back and reference this for the rest of my life.
1 review1 follower
March 30, 2022
As women, we usually put ourselves last. But when our cup isn't full, we can't support those we care most about. Jenna gives practical advice on setting boundaries and how to prioritize the relationship you have with yourself. The result is filling our power container and valuing our own worth.
4 reviews2 followers
November 5, 2022
The advise and takeaways are reasonable. It’s also good that you can skim over the pages and still get the gist of it. If you can’t afford therapy, go for this book - might be helpful (if not at times slightly a tad bit self-serving from the author)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews

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