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Ratio of Brookes to Ashleys
SOMETHING IS VICIOUSLY KILLING MIKE’S GIRLFRIENDS!
After being cursed by a dying woman, Mike Broadman's love life completely nosedives. One girlfriend cheats on him and the next one dies a very messy death.
Next, a psychic informs Mike that he's under an evil spell that will keep killing his girlfriends, and that the ONLY solution (the ONLY way that he’ll ever have a happy love life again) is for him to only date women named either Brooke or Ashley from now on.
Mike tries to comply with this, but still, the deaths continue, and now they're becoming even more brutal and bloody. Mike now finds himself in a race against time. He needs to ‘equalize the ratio of Brookes to Ashleys’ before it's too late.
And then, just when it seems things can't get any crazier or deadlier for Mike, he meets 'Brash' — the twins Brooke and Ashley Lawrence . . .
And the body count keeps rising . . .
After being cursed by a dying woman, Mike Broadman's love life completely nosedives. One girlfriend cheats on him and the next one dies a very messy death.
Next, a psychic informs Mike that he's under an evil spell that will keep killing his girlfriends, and that the ONLY solution (the ONLY way that he’ll ever have a happy love life again) is for him to only date women named either Brooke or Ashley from now on.
Mike tries to comply with this, but still, the deaths continue, and now they're becoming even more brutal and bloody. Mike now finds himself in a race against time. He needs to ‘equalize the ratio of Brookes to Ashleys’ before it's too late.
And then, just when it seems things can't get any crazier or deadlier for Mike, he meets 'Brash' — the twins Brooke and Ashley Lawrence . . .
And the body count keeps rising . . .
- GenresHorror
185 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 18, 2021
25 people want to read
About the author
Wol-vriey
70 books201 followersWol-vriey writes eXXXtreme horror fiction, and also some surrealist stuff.
To date, he has published over forty novels in both genres.
His horror novels include: EnterPAINment, LGBT, The Virgin, Marriage, Women, Nightmare Fuel 1 & 2, Haunted House XXX 1 & 2, and How To Succeed in Life.
On the surrealist side of things, he is the author of Vegan Zombie Apocalypse, Vegan Vampire Vaginas, Vagina Mundi, and the disturbing and unsettling Dr. Orgasm.
To date, he has published over forty novels in both genres.
His horror novels include: EnterPAINment, LGBT, The Virgin, Marriage, Women, Nightmare Fuel 1 & 2, Haunted House XXX 1 & 2, and How To Succeed in Life.
On the surrealist side of things, he is the author of Vegan Zombie Apocalypse, Vegan Vampire Vaginas, Vagina Mundi, and the disturbing and unsettling Dr. Orgasm.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 42 reviews
September 1, 2021
Poor Mike. The girlfriend he has just broken up with has put a curse upon him, dooming him to only date girls named Ashley and/or Brooke (her own names). Then she commits a ritualistic suicide. It is a wonder how many Brookes and Ashleys Mike actually meets. But all is not well in the romance department. Murders occur, and girlfriends and friends are dying left and right. Even the occult cannot help Mike, as life becomes exceedingly more threatening and dangerous. Can't a guy just enjoy a quiet evening out with a date? Nope. This book is filled with action, strange characters, voodoo and loads of gore. Will Mike survive the dating game? Will his nipples be reattached? Don't ask, just read. You are guaranteed not to be bored.
March 4, 2024
One Woke Bloke...
RATIO OF BROOKES TO ASHLEYS by Wol-Vriey
No spoilers. 4 stars. This is the story of Mike, a young man just trying to get by with a normal dating life, but...
When he tries to break it off with his current girlfriend, Ashley Brooke Cummins, she becomes unhinged...
... Just before midnight, inside her 3rd floor apartment, she is sitting cross-legged inside a pentagram on her floor...
... surrounded by black candles. She is putting a curse on Mike: he can only date girls named Ashley or Brooke...
... any other name spells death for the unlucky lady...
Following the curse, Ashley seals the deal by plunging a knife into her belly and dragging out her intestines...
The deed was done...
The first few ladies that Mike dated died violent deaths, but... he was following the rules of the curse, and they were either an Ashley or a Brooke...
What's up with that?...
Then, bizarrely, his friends start dying gruesome deaths, too, and any attempt Mike makes to contact his dead ex is fruitless...
Indeed, it causes the Grand Master of the Paranormal, Master Slim, who Mike had consulted with to contact Ashley to get killed also...
... but that doesn't stop Mike from getting back on the horse... he keeps trying to find someone who he can date that won't fall victim to that cursed curse..
He even gives it a go with conjoined Siamese twins named Brooke and Ashley (Brash for short)... where he enjoys an unconventional 69 with them..
... and that makes Mike one woke bloke in my book!...
I believe the target readers for this novel are mainly young college-aged men who enjoy reading stories about young men whose daily lives are mostly motivated by drinking and sex.
The writing was smooth, and the story kept me on the edge of my seat. It had the feel of a B-grade horror movie where all the actors are young and beautiful and are picked off one by one.
So get your popcorn and enjoy the show!
My thanks to the author for providing me with a copy of his book in exchange for my honest review.
Warnings: extreme violence and gore
RATIO OF BROOKES TO ASHLEYS by Wol-Vriey
No spoilers. 4 stars. This is the story of Mike, a young man just trying to get by with a normal dating life, but...
When he tries to break it off with his current girlfriend, Ashley Brooke Cummins, she becomes unhinged...
... Just before midnight, inside her 3rd floor apartment, she is sitting cross-legged inside a pentagram on her floor...
... surrounded by black candles. She is putting a curse on Mike: he can only date girls named Ashley or Brooke...
... any other name spells death for the unlucky lady...
Following the curse, Ashley seals the deal by plunging a knife into her belly and dragging out her intestines...
The deed was done...
The first few ladies that Mike dated died violent deaths, but... he was following the rules of the curse, and they were either an Ashley or a Brooke...
What's up with that?...
Then, bizarrely, his friends start dying gruesome deaths, too, and any attempt Mike makes to contact his dead ex is fruitless...
Indeed, it causes the Grand Master of the Paranormal, Master Slim, who Mike had consulted with to contact Ashley to get killed also...
... but that doesn't stop Mike from getting back on the horse... he keeps trying to find someone who he can date that won't fall victim to that cursed curse..
He even gives it a go with conjoined Siamese twins named Brooke and Ashley (Brash for short)... where he enjoys an unconventional 69 with them..
... and that makes Mike one woke bloke in my book!...
I believe the target readers for this novel are mainly young college-aged men who enjoy reading stories about young men whose daily lives are mostly motivated by drinking and sex.
The writing was smooth, and the story kept me on the edge of my seat. It had the feel of a B-grade horror movie where all the actors are young and beautiful and are picked off one by one.
So get your popcorn and enjoy the show!
My thanks to the author for providing me with a copy of his book in exchange for my honest review.
Warnings: extreme violence and gore
August 23, 2021
This is my first time reading anything by Wol-Vriey, and thankfully, he has written quite a few books because I really enjoyed this.
I'd describe it as a supernatural horror, complete with spells, hexes, witches, black magic, blood, gore and humour!
It's an interesting concept too, a man called Mike hexed by an ex girlfriend, who from then on is only able to date women with the same name as her, if he doesn't, people will die!! There is a great little twist at the end and although I found in some places, there may have been more info than necessary (hence my 4.5 stars!) the ending soon descended into bloody chaos! Mike has to be the unluckiest guy in love EVER!! 😂
My actual rating is 4.5, but I don't know how to do that! 🤦♀️
I'd describe it as a supernatural horror, complete with spells, hexes, witches, black magic, blood, gore and humour!
It's an interesting concept too, a man called Mike hexed by an ex girlfriend, who from then on is only able to date women with the same name as her, if he doesn't, people will die!! There is a great little twist at the end and although I found in some places, there may have been more info than necessary (hence my 4.5 stars!) the ending soon descended into bloody chaos! Mike has to be the unluckiest guy in love EVER!! 😂
My actual rating is 4.5, but I don't know how to do that! 🤦♀️
September 10, 2021
Wol-Vriey sure does have a way with words, from the very beginning I was sucked in and wanted more! The plot is completely original, the humor is fantastic, and the way Wol-Vriey writes is as smooth as butter. Ratio of Brookes to Ashleys is filled with modern day magic, young love, and brutal deaths. Filled with twists and turns, this book will keep you guessing and you’ll never see the ending coming. The book is a fun read, it never takes itself too seriously and I really felt like I was a part of the story. I definitely see myself reading more from this author. Ratio of Brookes to Ashleys deserves all five stars.
August 27, 2021
This was so ridiculously fantastic! I’m obsessed! What a masterpiece !
I felt like I was watching a head on collision that I just couldn’t look away from!
I really really enjoyed this one, it had everything I love in a book .bloody disgusting gore , it’s like no book I’ve ever read , I absolutely loved it.
Can’t wait to read many more from this author, I’m now a fan!
I felt like I was watching a head on collision that I just couldn’t look away from!
I really really enjoyed this one, it had everything I love in a book .bloody disgusting gore , it’s like no book I’ve ever read , I absolutely loved it.
Can’t wait to read many more from this author, I’m now a fan!
September 11, 2021
This is not a great book. The writing tends to the fairly simplistic, and it's full of cliched characters many of whom act in stunningly stupid ways, including the protagonist. There are lots of misconceptions propagated by the characters (for example the idea that people can just decide to "turn" gay). However, it is gruesome horror fantasy with comedic touches that works on a visceral level, is highly entertaining, and thus is it was pretty much perfect reading for my plane trip. And once the reveal happens, a lot of the previous actions of a couple of the characters made much more sense, plus it justified the hatred and contempt I felt for one of the asshole characters.
September 23, 2021
This one was a lot of fun with a lot of twist and turns. A mixture of dark, black magic, spells, and gore, with also a bit of humor thrown in. You can’t help but be pulled into this story and route for a better life for Mike. This story is well written, perfectly paced, and will have you wanting to find out what the heck is going on till the very end! Over all a great, solid read!
September 12, 2021
Wol-vriey breaks the rules of horror and creativity in this unruly display.
I was given a copy of this novel by the author in exchange for my honest review.
Ratio of Brookes to Ashleys by Wol-vriey was published in 2021 and is one of over 30 published works by the author.
Mike Broadman is an average joe. You, or I really. Mike has the typical life, a job he doesn’t seem to mind, friends that care about him and bring joy to his life, and a dating life much like that of anyone else. When one unstable and vengeful ex-girlfriend makes a dark and sinister plan for revenge this all changes. All of Mike’s girlfriends begin to die in unspeakable ways. He consults an occultist for help and discovers that a hex has been placed on him that even a great occultist cannot reverse. Terms are reached between Mike and the vengeful spirit of Ashely Cummins. No more deaths if Mike only dates girls with the name Brooke, or Ashley….
I feel Wol-vriey did a great job with the protagonist. An “every man” really, that any reader will relate to. The vivid imagery created added to the story in nearly every scene. The writing was very smooth and seamlessly transitioned from character to character, chapter to chapter. The Chapters were timed and edited well, they didn’t ramble or drag on, but accomplished the point and moved to the next.
Readers of cult horror will enjoy this read, as will those of a more lighter extreme horror.
I was given a copy of this novel by the author in exchange for my honest review.
Ratio of Brookes to Ashleys by Wol-vriey was published in 2021 and is one of over 30 published works by the author.
Mike Broadman is an average joe. You, or I really. Mike has the typical life, a job he doesn’t seem to mind, friends that care about him and bring joy to his life, and a dating life much like that of anyone else. When one unstable and vengeful ex-girlfriend makes a dark and sinister plan for revenge this all changes. All of Mike’s girlfriends begin to die in unspeakable ways. He consults an occultist for help and discovers that a hex has been placed on him that even a great occultist cannot reverse. Terms are reached between Mike and the vengeful spirit of Ashely Cummins. No more deaths if Mike only dates girls with the name Brooke, or Ashley….
I feel Wol-vriey did a great job with the protagonist. An “every man” really, that any reader will relate to. The vivid imagery created added to the story in nearly every scene. The writing was very smooth and seamlessly transitioned from character to character, chapter to chapter. The Chapters were timed and edited well, they didn’t ramble or drag on, but accomplished the point and moved to the next.
Readers of cult horror will enjoy this read, as will those of a more lighter extreme horror.
February 25, 2022
Thank you to Wol-vriey for sending me a copy of their book in exchange for an honest review!
I haven't honestly read much of this genre, I've read a couple of books here and there - but I do find myself enjoying it when I do read it. The opening of this book hooked me from the start and it automatically made me want to keep reading and kept me intrigued. I really enjoyed the writing style for the most part, sometimes it became a little robotic but only in parts. Otherwise, I really enjoyed my first book by Wol-vriey and I feel so honoured that you wanted to send this to me to read! I really looking forward to reading the next book by them! :)
I haven't honestly read much of this genre, I've read a couple of books here and there - but I do find myself enjoying it when I do read it. The opening of this book hooked me from the start and it automatically made me want to keep reading and kept me intrigued. I really enjoyed the writing style for the most part, sometimes it became a little robotic but only in parts. Otherwise, I really enjoyed my first book by Wol-vriey and I feel so honoured that you wanted to send this to me to read! I really looking forward to reading the next book by them! :)
August 26, 2021
One night, a month after their breakup, Mike's scorned ex-girlfriend puts a curse on him and then brutally commits suicide.
After his new girlfriend dies a sudden, gruesome death, Mike's best friend suggests perhaps Ashley cursed him before she died - evidenced by the occult paraphernalia found at her suicide. Mike takes his advice and seeks out a paranormal consultant.
Right away, the man senses the spell on Mike. A spell performed to ensure he never has a happy relationship with a woman ever again. He performs a ritual to contact Ashley on Mike's behalf, in an attempt to coerce her into letting him free from the curse; which she actually agrees to. But she does have one condition.
Mike's future girlfriends must share either her first or middle name; should he try to date any woman whose name isn't either Ashley or Brooke, his relationships will continue to fail miserably.
However, despite Mike sticking to the terms of the curse, bad things continue to plague his life. Death follows him seemingly at every turn, making victims of anyone he gets close to - until he begins to wonder if he might actually be the target. He believes someone is after him, but has no idea who or why.
---------------------------
The author actually asked me if I would review this, and I was very excited, so of course I said yes. I did actually own some of his books already, but hadn't gotten to them yet - as my 'to read' pile is simply enormous, and this was the kick I needed. I really enjoyed this, and now I've found a new author I know I like. I can't wait to check out more of his stuff!
After his new girlfriend dies a sudden, gruesome death, Mike's best friend suggests perhaps Ashley cursed him before she died - evidenced by the occult paraphernalia found at her suicide. Mike takes his advice and seeks out a paranormal consultant.
Right away, the man senses the spell on Mike. A spell performed to ensure he never has a happy relationship with a woman ever again. He performs a ritual to contact Ashley on Mike's behalf, in an attempt to coerce her into letting him free from the curse; which she actually agrees to. But she does have one condition.
Mike's future girlfriends must share either her first or middle name; should he try to date any woman whose name isn't either Ashley or Brooke, his relationships will continue to fail miserably.
However, despite Mike sticking to the terms of the curse, bad things continue to plague his life. Death follows him seemingly at every turn, making victims of anyone he gets close to - until he begins to wonder if he might actually be the target. He believes someone is after him, but has no idea who or why.
---------------------------
The author actually asked me if I would review this, and I was very excited, so of course I said yes. I did actually own some of his books already, but hadn't gotten to them yet - as my 'to read' pile is simply enormous, and this was the kick I needed. I really enjoyed this, and now I've found a new author I know I like. I can't wait to check out more of his stuff!
September 8, 2021
I was sent this book in exchange for an honest review. I really wish I could give the book a higher rating, however the dialogue really killed the entire story for me.
I was intrigued by the premise of the book and excited to read it, however the way the characters interacted was often cheesy and not at all how anyone I’ve ever met speaks to each other. One of the things that really bothered me was every girl Mike dated calling him, “man.” Like, “do you love me now, man?” or, “man, do you want my number?” and things of that nature. I kind of felt like I was reading fanfiction most of the time, and was eager to be done with the book.
The redeemable aspect, I suppose would be it is a quick, easy, fun read without a surprising ending that could get you out of a slump if you can get past the dialogue and just the fact that the characters are all weird and interact very strangely.
I was intrigued by the premise of the book and excited to read it, however the way the characters interacted was often cheesy and not at all how anyone I’ve ever met speaks to each other. One of the things that really bothered me was every girl Mike dated calling him, “man.” Like, “do you love me now, man?” or, “man, do you want my number?” and things of that nature. I kind of felt like I was reading fanfiction most of the time, and was eager to be done with the book.
The redeemable aspect, I suppose would be it is a quick, easy, fun read without a surprising ending that could get you out of a slump if you can get past the dialogue and just the fact that the characters are all weird and interact very strangely.
December 22, 2021
What a blast!! I can’t believe I’m finished with this book already?!
To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I’d get very far at first. I found the prose a bit stilted, and every character sounds kind of the same conversationally. And all the ridiculousness of the plot! Oh my goodness, everything just felt so bizarre!!!
But then I kept reading.. One more chapter, then another, then another. At one point, I realized I was just gobbling up this book up like French fries. Let me tell you, it gets so fun by the end!
A gory, over-the-top, intriguing, and super fun book. The mystery kept me hooked. And I chuckled reading some parts, it was so gross and hilarious. Don’t take the story too seriously and just roll with it.
I’d recommend going in blind like I did. Check out the blurb & other reviews if you need a quick summary of the plot. I’d say this book started out around 2* but ended at 5*. A solid read!
To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I’d get very far at first. I found the prose a bit stilted, and every character sounds kind of the same conversationally. And all the ridiculousness of the plot! Oh my goodness, everything just felt so bizarre!!!
But then I kept reading.. One more chapter, then another, then another. At one point, I realized I was just gobbling up this book up like French fries. Let me tell you, it gets so fun by the end!
A gory, over-the-top, intriguing, and super fun book. The mystery kept me hooked. And I chuckled reading some parts, it was so gross and hilarious. Don’t take the story too seriously and just roll with it.
I’d recommend going in blind like I did. Check out the blurb & other reviews if you need a quick summary of the plot. I’d say this book started out around 2* but ended at 5*. A solid read!
October 22, 2021
Ratio of Brookes to Ashleys is a wild ride of supernatural, occult, and revenge horror. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and what better revenge than a curse? The hex on Mike consumes his life like this book will consume yours.
This extreme horror tale has really colorful and entertaining characters, a heaping helping of the supernatural, action and escalation gore, and great plot twists. It will make you both laugh and cringe and sometimes at the same time. Wol-vriey’s unique and disturbing storytelling keeps you riveted to the page. (But please remember he is Nigerian so his dialect of English may differ from yours.)
Fast-paced, funny, and in-your-face, you won’t want to put this one down.
This extreme horror tale has really colorful and entertaining characters, a heaping helping of the supernatural, action and escalation gore, and great plot twists. It will make you both laugh and cringe and sometimes at the same time. Wol-vriey’s unique and disturbing storytelling keeps you riveted to the page. (But please remember he is Nigerian so his dialect of English may differ from yours.)
Fast-paced, funny, and in-your-face, you won’t want to put this one down.
September 2, 2021
I was given this book in exchange for an honest review. With that being said, I really wanted to like it and have nothing but wonderful things to say. Unfortunately, this is not the case.
The intro was well written and interesting enough to pull you into the story, and the ending was fairly interesting at well. But the rest of the story was about 90% dialogue like what you would hear from a B-rated movie. Very campy, not how I feel most people have conversations with each other (at least not in my circle). It was also slightly frustrating that literally every girl he met was named Brooke or Ashley...no effort went into finding one with that name. Outside of myself, I have met maybe two Ashley's in person my whole life and about the same amount with Brookes. It was a convenient short-cut I just couldn't get over.
If about 60% of the dialogue was replaced with writing that progressed the story, I think I would have rated this book much higher. I felt those parts of the story wasn't badly written at all, and the idea of being cursed to be only able to date a girl with a certain name is amusing...but reading through the constant dialogue just wasn't fun for me.
The intro was well written and interesting enough to pull you into the story, and the ending was fairly interesting at well. But the rest of the story was about 90% dialogue like what you would hear from a B-rated movie. Very campy, not how I feel most people have conversations with each other (at least not in my circle). It was also slightly frustrating that literally every girl he met was named Brooke or Ashley...no effort went into finding one with that name. Outside of myself, I have met maybe two Ashley's in person my whole life and about the same amount with Brookes. It was a convenient short-cut I just couldn't get over.
If about 60% of the dialogue was replaced with writing that progressed the story, I think I would have rated this book much higher. I felt those parts of the story wasn't badly written at all, and the idea of being cursed to be only able to date a girl with a certain name is amusing...but reading through the constant dialogue just wasn't fun for me.
October 10, 2021
Wol-vriey contacted me years ago to review one of his novellas, Big Trouble in Little Ass, a crazy western that I loved enough to recommend to everyone. Years later, he has requested again that I look at Ratio of Brookes to Ashleys. I did not hesitate to agree. I received this novel from the author in exchange for an honest review.
Mike has broken up with his girlfriend, Ashley, and she takes it hard. So hard that she casts a spell on him during a ritual suicide. Mike then starts to see everyone he is dating die in horrific ways. He needs to find out this curse does not apply to girls named Ashley or Brooke, the first and middle name of his ex-girlfriend. Mike is that twenty something character who hangs out with other twenty something characters. They all go to their menial jobs, drink on their time off, and sleep with each other. It is not hard for Mike to find Ashleys and Brookes to date.
Except there might be a killer following Mike killing pretty much everyone he knows.
There are a few different layers to this novel. You have the aspect of Mike trying to deal with this curse. You have the serial killer mystery. And this is all wrapped up in a party lifestyle that Mike and his friends participate in. I like Wol-vriey’s plots and his characters are pretty funny. I was put off by some of the writing. Some of the turns of phrase and sentences just did not really fit well. The story is meant to take place on the East Coast. Wol-vriey is from Nigeria. Some of this feels like when all of the Italian movie makers were making films in America, like New York Ripper and The House by the Cemetery. It is not that there is anything particularly wrong as much as the tone feels different. Wol-vriey uses some words and phrases that people in New England would not use.
As a whole, I really liked Ratio of Brookes to Ashleys. It is a fun horror novel that mashes up two of the great subgenres of horror, the evil curse and the serial killer story, and he spares no detail in talking about blood and guts. Wol-vriey has a ton of books out, and all of them are good fun.
Mike has broken up with his girlfriend, Ashley, and she takes it hard. So hard that she casts a spell on him during a ritual suicide. Mike then starts to see everyone he is dating die in horrific ways. He needs to find out this curse does not apply to girls named Ashley or Brooke, the first and middle name of his ex-girlfriend. Mike is that twenty something character who hangs out with other twenty something characters. They all go to their menial jobs, drink on their time off, and sleep with each other. It is not hard for Mike to find Ashleys and Brookes to date.
Except there might be a killer following Mike killing pretty much everyone he knows.
There are a few different layers to this novel. You have the aspect of Mike trying to deal with this curse. You have the serial killer mystery. And this is all wrapped up in a party lifestyle that Mike and his friends participate in. I like Wol-vriey’s plots and his characters are pretty funny. I was put off by some of the writing. Some of the turns of phrase and sentences just did not really fit well. The story is meant to take place on the East Coast. Wol-vriey is from Nigeria. Some of this feels like when all of the Italian movie makers were making films in America, like New York Ripper and The House by the Cemetery. It is not that there is anything particularly wrong as much as the tone feels different. Wol-vriey uses some words and phrases that people in New England would not use.
As a whole, I really liked Ratio of Brookes to Ashleys. It is a fun horror novel that mashes up two of the great subgenres of horror, the evil curse and the serial killer story, and he spares no detail in talking about blood and guts. Wol-vriey has a ton of books out, and all of them are good fun.
September 22, 2021
Imagine being so in love with someone, you perform a grand, inescapable hex; therefore damning them to only romance women who bare your name (first or middle.) It’s devout. Poetic, even. What a premise. With that said, you would never expect this book to be as funny as it is.
And that’s not a bad thing! The author is truly a craftsman of dark comedy. He combines this quite well with horror. There are parts of the story that will make you genuinely laugh and feel giddy, and parts that will disgust you. It’s multi-genre, and I can appreciate that. I see exactly where Wol-Vriey was going with this, and he committed to it.
The plot being so original is what I feel really held the story together. That being said, to me, it did have its downsides. I genuinely felt I couldn’t connect well to many of the characters, and I did not always understand their bizarre intentions. The dialogue felt a bit unnatural at times, (though when you take into account the fact that this is a horror-comedy hybrid, that may switch the scales a bit.)
That said, it will reward readers who like a bit of camp with their scares. If my liking for Grady Hendrix is any indicator, I mostly fit into that category. Overall, I will be checking out more by Wol-Vriey, and I commend him for going the route less traveled with this bizarre and creative tale.
Thank you to the author for the book in exchange for this honest review.
And that’s not a bad thing! The author is truly a craftsman of dark comedy. He combines this quite well with horror. There are parts of the story that will make you genuinely laugh and feel giddy, and parts that will disgust you. It’s multi-genre, and I can appreciate that. I see exactly where Wol-Vriey was going with this, and he committed to it.
The plot being so original is what I feel really held the story together. That being said, to me, it did have its downsides. I genuinely felt I couldn’t connect well to many of the characters, and I did not always understand their bizarre intentions. The dialogue felt a bit unnatural at times, (though when you take into account the fact that this is a horror-comedy hybrid, that may switch the scales a bit.)
That said, it will reward readers who like a bit of camp with their scares. If my liking for Grady Hendrix is any indicator, I mostly fit into that category. Overall, I will be checking out more by Wol-Vriey, and I commend him for going the route less traveled with this bizarre and creative tale.
Thank you to the author for the book in exchange for this honest review.
September 9, 2021
Ashley Brooke Cummings has just committed suicide and has placed a terrible curse on her boyfriend, Mike. As a result of this curse, Mike will have no choice but to only date women named Ashley or Brooke, in honor of his late ex-girlfriend. If he dates any woman with any other name the relationship will end horribly and may even result in the girls death.
So Mike decides to play by the rules and only date women named Brooke or Ashley, but even when he does this his dating prospects start to drop like flies, leaving him to suspect that there might be more to the curse than he originally thought.
Now, I loved the premise of this book, but after a while the story started to drag on for a bit, and I was able to predict the twist ending from a mile away. Despite me getting bored with the book at times, I still feel like it would make for a great film, similar to the likes of "Happy Death Day" or "It Follows".
Im giving this book 3 out of 5 stars ⭐⭐⭐
For in-depth video reviews, please subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/c/UptownHorrorRev...
So Mike decides to play by the rules and only date women named Brooke or Ashley, but even when he does this his dating prospects start to drop like flies, leaving him to suspect that there might be more to the curse than he originally thought.
Now, I loved the premise of this book, but after a while the story started to drag on for a bit, and I was able to predict the twist ending from a mile away. Despite me getting bored with the book at times, I still feel like it would make for a great film, similar to the likes of "Happy Death Day" or "It Follows".
Im giving this book 3 out of 5 stars ⭐⭐⭐
For in-depth video reviews, please subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/c/UptownHorrorRev...
September 18, 2021
First of all I would like to thank the author for providing me with a copy of this book in return for an honest review.
The storyline here had so much potential for being brilliant.
Mike, gets hexed by a scorn ex-girlfriend (Ashley) before she commits suicide in a gruesome way. She doesn’t want him to be happy ever again, since he couldn’t make her happy. After realizing he has been hexed, he goes to meet an occultist, Master Slim, who summons the spirit of Ashley and makes a deal so that Mike, can only date girls named Ashley or Brooke (her first and middle name). The story goes on and Mike ends up dating several girls that qualify and does so very quickly and with ease but bad things and death seem to follow him around as he goes.
The writing was a bit childish, full of cliches, and the characters and plot were predictable. I think if this storyline could be fleshed out a bit more and with more mystery, it could have been really great.
Young readers that are newly into horror and the occult will enjoy this read.
The storyline here had so much potential for being brilliant.
Mike, gets hexed by a scorn ex-girlfriend (Ashley) before she commits suicide in a gruesome way. She doesn’t want him to be happy ever again, since he couldn’t make her happy. After realizing he has been hexed, he goes to meet an occultist, Master Slim, who summons the spirit of Ashley and makes a deal so that Mike, can only date girls named Ashley or Brooke (her first and middle name). The story goes on and Mike ends up dating several girls that qualify and does so very quickly and with ease but bad things and death seem to follow him around as he goes.
The writing was a bit childish, full of cliches, and the characters and plot were predictable. I think if this storyline could be fleshed out a bit more and with more mystery, it could have been really great.
Young readers that are newly into horror and the occult will enjoy this read.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 18, 2021
YES!
Whew.... ok, this book was better than I thought it would be. I started reading this book last night and almost couldn't put it down. But, you know.... gotta be an adult and rest. Soon as I got up... Read. Took a break..... Read. Went to lunch.... Read. Got off work....Read. I can't remember the last time I dove into a book like this. Such a fast paced book. Things escalated QUICKLY in the freakin prologue .... THE PROLOGUE!!!!! And I clutched my pearls from beginning to end. What a wild ride. This book is not for children or the faint of heart. A little supernatural, some gore, suspense, witchcraft ..... please inject this type of content into my veins. Amazing plot twist too... myyyyyyy Godddddddddd. I truly enjoyed this book. And imagine my surprise when I found out that SO many of this author's books are on Kindle Unlimited. I know what I'm about to fill my library up with. Just in time for spooky season! 5/5 stars for sure.
Whew.... ok, this book was better than I thought it would be. I started reading this book last night and almost couldn't put it down. But, you know.... gotta be an adult and rest. Soon as I got up... Read. Took a break..... Read. Went to lunch.... Read. Got off work....Read. I can't remember the last time I dove into a book like this. Such a fast paced book. Things escalated QUICKLY in the freakin prologue .... THE PROLOGUE!!!!! And I clutched my pearls from beginning to end. What a wild ride. This book is not for children or the faint of heart. A little supernatural, some gore, suspense, witchcraft ..... please inject this type of content into my veins. Amazing plot twist too... myyyyyyy Godddddddddd. I truly enjoyed this book. And imagine my surprise when I found out that SO many of this author's books are on Kindle Unlimited. I know what I'm about to fill my library up with. Just in time for spooky season! 5/5 stars for sure.
September 13, 2021
2.25/5 Stars
First things first, I wanted to give a disclaimer that this isn't the type of novel I would typically pick out to choose so it may not be for me but that does not mean it's horrible or anything. I also want to thank Wol-vriey for sending me a digital copy to read this novel, I'm very grateful that you chose to contact me. Okay so, my opinion of this novel is a bit more on the lower spectrum. I thought it had its moments, mainly a decently strong beginning and a fun ending but I felt myself kind of having to carry myself to actually get through majority of the midsection. I had trouble connecting with any of the characters, they all appeared very shallow and one-dimensional but that could just be the point because what Wol-vriey does do great with this novel is setting that tone of satire and camp, you're not meant to take it very seriously.
I believe that this story has potential for better execution, if only it got another draft or two, I feel like it could have been much better. I assume that majority of the cast are meant to be relatively young and modern so I found the repetitive use of words like 'frigging' a bit off-putting, it didn't feel right and so much of the dialogue felt like it was just unintentionally awkward. I had some fun with this novel but not enough for me to give it a higher rating, I was hoping for more. I sought more of a challenge of Mike's character, everything came way too easy and convenient, nothing ever seemed like it was ever truly going to ultimately end poorly for Mike, I was genuinely disappointed when it never came to that. I also think there was a lack of ability to effectively change the tone, I found myself struggling to take it seriously even in scenes that I felt were meant to have a more serious tone. This also seemed to effect how characters were written, they all seemed to blend together with even the most different characters ending up looping around to the same vocabulary and word usage as half the others.
Honestly, I wouldn't personally highly recommend it. I think if you love campy horror and have no trouble entirely disregarding logic and reality, you might like this one. I don't think I was exactly the target audience for this specific novel but I may give more of this author's work a shot at some other point.
First things first, I wanted to give a disclaimer that this isn't the type of novel I would typically pick out to choose so it may not be for me but that does not mean it's horrible or anything. I also want to thank Wol-vriey for sending me a digital copy to read this novel, I'm very grateful that you chose to contact me. Okay so, my opinion of this novel is a bit more on the lower spectrum. I thought it had its moments, mainly a decently strong beginning and a fun ending but I felt myself kind of having to carry myself to actually get through majority of the midsection. I had trouble connecting with any of the characters, they all appeared very shallow and one-dimensional but that could just be the point because what Wol-vriey does do great with this novel is setting that tone of satire and camp, you're not meant to take it very seriously.
I believe that this story has potential for better execution, if only it got another draft or two, I feel like it could have been much better. I assume that majority of the cast are meant to be relatively young and modern so I found the repetitive use of words like 'frigging' a bit off-putting, it didn't feel right and so much of the dialogue felt like it was just unintentionally awkward. I had some fun with this novel but not enough for me to give it a higher rating, I was hoping for more. I sought more of a challenge of Mike's character, everything came way too easy and convenient, nothing ever seemed like it was ever truly going to ultimately end poorly for Mike, I was genuinely disappointed when it never came to that. I also think there was a lack of ability to effectively change the tone, I found myself struggling to take it seriously even in scenes that I felt were meant to have a more serious tone. This also seemed to effect how characters were written, they all seemed to blend together with even the most different characters ending up looping around to the same vocabulary and word usage as half the others.
Honestly, I wouldn't personally highly recommend it. I think if you love campy horror and have no trouble entirely disregarding logic and reality, you might like this one. I don't think I was exactly the target audience for this specific novel but I may give more of this author's work a shot at some other point.
October 13, 2021
Full disclosure: I was given a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. That being said, I really wanted to like this book. It starts off with a very strong and intriguing beginning. It had a lot of potential to be something fun, gruesome, and bizarre, but unfortunately it ended up falling flat.
There are a lot of things I issue with in this that ultimately ruined it for me. Every single female in this book is referred to as a "young lady" or "young woman" or lady is added to their profession (lady singer, lady detective) whereas men are always noted as man. Phrases like "frigging" and "oh heck" are used which is out of place, especially when fuck and hell are used through the rest of the book. Also out of place: our main character Mike calls his best friend Bob his "bestie" half a dozen times.
There is also some problematic terminology used throughout. At one point the word dyke is used in anger after using the word lesbian repeatedly before it, hair clips are called "oriental style clasps", and conjoined twins are constantly called Siamese twins.
As for the plot itself, it's not bad. Mike is cursed to only ever date women named Brooke or Ashley and lo and behold, every woman he meets after learning about this curse (from the laughably named Master Slim, a master of the occult) just so happens to be named Brooke or Ashley! Really, every single one of them. No effort goes into Mike finding someone worth his time - he just keeps running into a new one every few days, they die, he mourns for a day, and then oh hello, another Ashley or a Brooke pops up! That kind of convenience is just lazy.
What ultimately kills this is the dialogue. Oh boy is that overpoweringly bad. It's so awkward and campy (think bad B movie) that it becomes childish to the point it almost reads like fan fiction. Cutting out the majority of the corny dialogue in favor of more character development and fleshing out the plot would have made this a much better story and it would have been easier to invest in the characters.
I will say the ending is not entirely predictable and could have paid off as a big twist of other areas had been expanded. The ending dialogue ruins it though, just like the rest of the book.
There are a lot of things I issue with in this that ultimately ruined it for me. Every single female in this book is referred to as a "young lady" or "young woman" or lady is added to their profession (lady singer, lady detective) whereas men are always noted as man. Phrases like "frigging" and "oh heck" are used which is out of place, especially when fuck and hell are used through the rest of the book. Also out of place: our main character Mike calls his best friend Bob his "bestie" half a dozen times.
There is also some problematic terminology used throughout. At one point the word dyke is used in anger after using the word lesbian repeatedly before it, hair clips are called "oriental style clasps", and conjoined twins are constantly called Siamese twins.
As for the plot itself, it's not bad. Mike is cursed to only ever date women named Brooke or Ashley and lo and behold, every woman he meets after learning about this curse (from the laughably named Master Slim, a master of the occult) just so happens to be named Brooke or Ashley! Really, every single one of them. No effort goes into Mike finding someone worth his time - he just keeps running into a new one every few days, they die, he mourns for a day, and then oh hello, another Ashley or a Brooke pops up! That kind of convenience is just lazy.
What ultimately kills this is the dialogue. Oh boy is that overpoweringly bad. It's so awkward and campy (think bad B movie) that it becomes childish to the point it almost reads like fan fiction. Cutting out the majority of the corny dialogue in favor of more character development and fleshing out the plot would have made this a much better story and it would have been easier to invest in the characters.
I will say the ending is not entirely predictable and could have paid off as a big twist of other areas had been expanded. The ending dialogue ruins it though, just like the rest of the book.
December 27, 2021
I was asked if I would be interested in trying this book out, so as a Good Samaritan of the horror reading world, I ratcheted it up my list of reads. I knew cursorily of the author, but did not really know their style.
Some authors have straight up psychopathic horror (the events and styling, not the authors lol) as well as multiple other types. The best way I can describe this book is “eccentric” horror. There is some gore for sure, but there is a very distinct humor. Perhaps this is the case with all of Wol-vriey’s work, I can only go off this first story.
For someone who is more of a fan of humor in their horror, and especially if this style strikes their chords right, this could be an amazing read. It was a good read no doubt.
The characters in this story are (quite purposefully I do believe) immature. That’s a reflection of them from what I see, not of the authors overall style. A very superficial man runs through women like crazy, a “pump and dump,” but breaks the heart of a woman who is into the occult. He is cursed, as the book description tells us, and a crazy tale follows.
Most of the other characters are pretty immature. There are definitely people like this in real life, but even before gore or a good monster, I’m someone who likes rootable/compelling characters. For me, that wasn’t here, but it was one fun ride. A particular shoutout to Brash as a good character!
I will definitely check out more from this author in the future and would suggest the same. I used to give out 5 stars when I was younger like crazy, if I revisit a lot of those books on my favorites list, many may fall a bit. 3 stars to me is good and worth the read, and Wol-vriey has all the signs of someone who writes original horror worth the look. I have a hard time seeing a Wol-vriey story being something derivative.
Nothing is wrong with derivative, if I ever complete a writing project, mine will likely trend more that direction. I just had to point out multiple times that, to me, this is a very original voice.
Some authors have straight up psychopathic horror (the events and styling, not the authors lol) as well as multiple other types. The best way I can describe this book is “eccentric” horror. There is some gore for sure, but there is a very distinct humor. Perhaps this is the case with all of Wol-vriey’s work, I can only go off this first story.
For someone who is more of a fan of humor in their horror, and especially if this style strikes their chords right, this could be an amazing read. It was a good read no doubt.
The characters in this story are (quite purposefully I do believe) immature. That’s a reflection of them from what I see, not of the authors overall style. A very superficial man runs through women like crazy, a “pump and dump,” but breaks the heart of a woman who is into the occult. He is cursed, as the book description tells us, and a crazy tale follows.
Most of the other characters are pretty immature. There are definitely people like this in real life, but even before gore or a good monster, I’m someone who likes rootable/compelling characters. For me, that wasn’t here, but it was one fun ride. A particular shoutout to Brash as a good character!
I will definitely check out more from this author in the future and would suggest the same. I used to give out 5 stars when I was younger like crazy, if I revisit a lot of those books on my favorites list, many may fall a bit. 3 stars to me is good and worth the read, and Wol-vriey has all the signs of someone who writes original horror worth the look. I have a hard time seeing a Wol-vriey story being something derivative.
Nothing is wrong with derivative, if I ever complete a writing project, mine will likely trend more that direction. I just had to point out multiple times that, to me, this is a very original voice.
September 20, 2021
I feel really really bad for Mike, one bad relationship choice set him on a disastrous path.
So the book starts off with Ashley, scorned by Mike she sacrifices herself in order to hex Mike, (this was graphic) and from that point on he has several bad endings with relationships, I mean decapitations, murders, and well one cheater…
So poor Mike seeks out a magic man, Master Slim, to fix her hex. He can’t but he at least gets advice on how to lessen the effects. He can change teams, or only date girls named Ashley or Brooke….
After this things go from bad to worse. I won’t include more because I feel like it would impact on the twists in this book. But believe me they are wild and worth reading through.
I do want to mention that the author is Nigerian, so some of the terms and phrases are little mixed up. In my opinion this did not take away from the book in any way.
I rate this five hexually conjoined stars.
So the book starts off with Ashley, scorned by Mike she sacrifices herself in order to hex Mike, (this was graphic) and from that point on he has several bad endings with relationships, I mean decapitations, murders, and well one cheater…
So poor Mike seeks out a magic man, Master Slim, to fix her hex. He can’t but he at least gets advice on how to lessen the effects. He can change teams, or only date girls named Ashley or Brooke….
After this things go from bad to worse. I won’t include more because I feel like it would impact on the twists in this book. But believe me they are wild and worth reading through.
I do want to mention that the author is Nigerian, so some of the terms and phrases are little mixed up. In my opinion this did not take away from the book in any way.
I rate this five hexually conjoined stars.
September 5, 2021
I had no idea what to expect when I started this book, this is the first book I’ve read from Wol-vriey. I had so much fun reading this, it’s so unique to the typical horror book. We got to experience gore, horror, mystery, the occult, and of course… Siamese twins. This was such a fun read, thank you to the author for the gift in exchange for a review. My only qualms about the book was the unrealistic amount of Brookes and Ashleys there were available to choose from. I actually thought that would play into the spell but it really was just a coincidence. But overall, this was an entertaining read, shorter, but definitely worth a look! I don’t know how I missed this author, but if you love hardcore horror then please check this out! This one seems tamer then some of the others from Wol-vriey based on reviews, so I’m definitely going to check some more out!
November 27, 2021
I got a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
3.5 stars
This story was RIDICULOUS. Mike is cursed by a jilted ex-lover. All the women he gets romantically involved with die in the most absurd fashion, unless their name is either Brooke or Ashley. So he starts dating only Brookes and Ashleys. But then they start dying, too!
Despite everyone dying, Mike jumps from one girl to the next before the previous one is even cold. “Nice Guy” Mike is kind of the worst. Seriously, dude, keep it in your pants.
However, it was a funny read. If you have a warped sense of humor, you will get a couple good chuckles out of this book. I’m not sure if this was intended to be a horror comedy, but that’s what I took it to be. Again, the events of Ratio of Brookes to Ashleys were just so incredibly outrageous, I don’t know how else to describe it.
3.5 stars
This story was RIDICULOUS. Mike is cursed by a jilted ex-lover. All the women he gets romantically involved with die in the most absurd fashion, unless their name is either Brooke or Ashley. So he starts dating only Brookes and Ashleys. But then they start dying, too!
Despite everyone dying, Mike jumps from one girl to the next before the previous one is even cold. “Nice Guy” Mike is kind of the worst. Seriously, dude, keep it in your pants.
However, it was a funny read. If you have a warped sense of humor, you will get a couple good chuckles out of this book. I’m not sure if this was intended to be a horror comedy, but that’s what I took it to be. Again, the events of Ratio of Brookes to Ashleys were just so incredibly outrageous, I don’t know how else to describe it.
September 14, 2021
I was sent a copy of this book by the author, and I did very much enjoy reading it! It was gruesome and graphic and messed up, which I love reading. The plot was original and pretty fun! However I wasn’t a huge fan of the righting style, it was well done and consistent, just not for me. Also, the way women in this book were described rubbed me the wrong way, and while I know it’s just from the main character’s perspective, a lot of the descriptions were mildly offensive at best. Because of that, I wasn’t really rooting for the main character at all, and each time something like that came up it really disrupted the good reading mood I was in. Over this is a 2.5 star read for me, a fun plot and great disgusting action but not my type of writing style and some problematic bits.
September 18, 2021
The story starts off rather intriguingly. Trying to figure out what this lady is going to do or summon.
It doesn’t take long for the gore to kick in and it is descriptive.
This book certainly has an original premise and keeps you guessing. Every time I needed to put it down something would happen and I would have to keep on reading and just ignore life.
Even though there is a foreboding feeling throughout and you know something bad is going to happen the writing still makes it oh so satisfying when it happens. Amongst all of this some hilarious one liners poke their heads out at surprising moments.
All in all I will never tangle with a Brooke or an Ashley ever again.
It doesn’t take long for the gore to kick in and it is descriptive.
This book certainly has an original premise and keeps you guessing. Every time I needed to put it down something would happen and I would have to keep on reading and just ignore life.
Even though there is a foreboding feeling throughout and you know something bad is going to happen the writing still makes it oh so satisfying when it happens. Amongst all of this some hilarious one liners poke their heads out at surprising moments.
All in all I will never tangle with a Brooke or an Ashley ever again.
October 13, 2021
Thank you to Wol-vriey for supplying a copy of the book in exchange for a review.
I enjoyed this story, and the twists that were being thrown at the protagonist, Mike. I was questioning whether the late Ashley was hewing to her bargain until the reveal at the end. The mystery was one of the better parts of the book.
The book is an easy read and I would recommend it to those who have not dived deep into extreme horror yet - there is carnage, but it is somewhat tame compared to some of the other extreme that I have read.
Overall, this was a likeable book and I have added Wol-vriey to my list of authors to read.
I enjoyed this story, and the twists that were being thrown at the protagonist, Mike. I was questioning whether the late Ashley was hewing to her bargain until the reveal at the end. The mystery was one of the better parts of the book.
The book is an easy read and I would recommend it to those who have not dived deep into extreme horror yet - there is carnage, but it is somewhat tame compared to some of the other extreme that I have read.
Overall, this was a likeable book and I have added Wol-vriey to my list of authors to read.
September 25, 2021
An interesting and amusing concept that I really wanted to like more than I did. It's a shame as the idea of a man only being able to date women either called Ashley or Brooke after being cursed by an ex girlfriend is quite different. The characters were not likeable, not a deal breaker, but they were all one dimensional. There are some good gore moments but the writing and description was fairly simple so they didn't have as much impact as they could have. With some more work this would have probably been a 3.5 but as it stands it's a 2.5 from me.
September 11, 2021
Thank you Wol-Vriey for giving a copy of this for me to read. What a gory crazy journey. This is one unbelievable book and full of blood and guts. Overall the book is enjoyable and takes you on a bumpy ride but a fast bumpy ride. The characters need a bit more emotions I feel like the book just wants to kill off as many people as possible but no attachments. I couldn’t feel sorry for anyone. Love the last detailed chapters and definitely you will enjoy the blood.
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