“She was absolutely gorgeous, without a doubt, but there was something about her that was beautiful in a way that I’d never noticed about anyone else.”
I was, dare I say, surprised by all the glowing five star reviews for this read as, though this was well-written and passionately got to the heart of several undoings, I unfortunately found the narrator, Lora, to be completely insufferable. I know she is meant to be portrayed as naive, young, and yearning deeply to find her sense of place in the looming, competitive world of publishing and writing, but it felt overdone and completely unbelievable. She falls so fast and easily that I couldn’t believe she had such an unblinkingly low concept of her self-worth, even given her desperate situation. She ignores all warnings people give her about Cat because she has become so entirely blindsided by her, but my main question is why and how, when she has access to change at least some of her circumstances and a loving family who, at the end of the day, wants the best for her.
“We have to find ways around the system. We have to break the rules, and we absolutely cannot feel bad about breaking them, not even for a moment. It’s the only way we can make it. It’s the only way we’ll ever have a shot. It’s the only way we can survive.”
I’m not blaming her but merely interrogating and indicating her relative agency over her own decisions, pointing to her self-will, especially when she is given outs before she gets in too far, too deep. Why does she continuously put all her faith into Cat when there are red flags aplenty and visible, obvious secrecy surrounding her? Why does she agree to be a ghostwriter, in the first place, when she’s aware she’ll be given absolutely no credit for all of her hard work? Cat tells her what she’ll be doing and how she’ll be doing it loud and clear and she STILL goes along with it…WHY? Her pining for Cat and relentless belief in her jarred me and made me question the forces of seduction/manipulation at work, and how much those came into play, since Cat, at certain intervals, is largely open about her terms with Lora, yet Lora continues to play into her game at every turn.
“ “Well don’t get too close to her.” she warned. “She’ll chew you up and spit you out and pretend you never meant anything to her. And then you’ll spend every day of the rest of your life wondering what you did wrong, wondering why she treats you like you no longer exist.” ”
This narrative becomes a cautionary tale to those that trust too easily, too fast, without asking the hard questions or stopping to hear the music, and in that regard it checked all the boxes and kept me turning the pages rapid-fire, ensconced in its multi-genre approach.
“And I’ve noticed that there’s this trick she has of making the people around her feel like they’re her closest friends.”
The ending, however, is what really blew my mind and ripped me to pieces. It is catastrophic, heart-wrenching, and deeply unsettling, and if you read this, read it even for that alone.