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Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance
Alternative cover edition of ASIN B09C4FNXMZ
For much of her life, Sally Holt has been mystified by the things her older sister, Kathy, seems to have been born knowing. Kathy has answers for all of Sally’s questions about life, about love, and about Billy Barnes, a rising senior and local basketball star who mans the concession stand at the town pool. The girls have been fascinated by Billy ever since he jumped off the roof in elementary school, but Billy has never shown much interest in them until the summer before Sally begins eighth grade. By then, their mutual infatuation with Billy is one of the few things the increasingly different sisters have in common. Sally spends much of that summer at the pool, watching in confusion and excitement as her sister falls deeper in love with Billy—until a tragedy leaves Sally’s life forever intertwined with his.
Opening in the early nineties and charting almost two decades of shared history and missed connections, Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance is both a breathtaking love story about two broken people who are unexplainably, inconveniently drawn to each other and a wryly astute coming-of-age tale brimming with unexpected moments of joy.
For much of her life, Sally Holt has been mystified by the things her older sister, Kathy, seems to have been born knowing. Kathy has answers for all of Sally’s questions about life, about love, and about Billy Barnes, a rising senior and local basketball star who mans the concession stand at the town pool. The girls have been fascinated by Billy ever since he jumped off the roof in elementary school, but Billy has never shown much interest in them until the summer before Sally begins eighth grade. By then, their mutual infatuation with Billy is one of the few things the increasingly different sisters have in common. Sally spends much of that summer at the pool, watching in confusion and excitement as her sister falls deeper in love with Billy—until a tragedy leaves Sally’s life forever intertwined with his.
Opening in the early nineties and charting almost two decades of shared history and missed connections, Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance is both a breathtaking love story about two broken people who are unexplainably, inconveniently drawn to each other and a wryly astute coming-of-age tale brimming with unexpected moments of joy.
352 pages, ebook
First published May 17, 2022
3292 people are currently reading
88446 people want to read
About the author
Alison Espach
10 books6,013 followersAlison Espach grew up in Trumbull, Connecticut, where she lived for most of her life. She earned her BA from Providence College and her Masters in Creative Writing from Washington University in St. Louis. Her writing has appeared in McSweeney's, Five Chapters, Glamour, Salon, The Daily Beast, Writer's Digest, and other journals.
She is currently teaching in New York City.
She is currently teaching in New York City.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 5,085 reviews
May 17, 2022
This is such a melancholy, yet lovely book. Sally narrates the story, telling it to her sister Kathy, who died in a car accident when she was in high school. It is the tale of grief manifested in many ways--by Sally, who was in the car but unhurt, by Kathy's boyfriend Billy, who was driving, and by Kathy and Sally's parents. It's a coming of age novel, but it's also a tale of self-discovery.
I listened to the audiobook, which was brilliantly narrated by Jesse Vilinsky, who also was one of the narrators in Laurie Frankel's One Two Three. She absolutely captures Sally's voice, her nuances, her quirks, and her humor.
The timeline of this book begins in the 90s and moves forward through twenty years. The movement through time is chronicled through the changes in technology and the occurrences of world events, which show the passage of time even as some of the characters have difficulty navigating their own way forward through their grief. This is a familiar subject for me, and I could really identify with the different ways the characters moved forward with stops and starts, sometimes staying in one place for a long time.
This is not a thriller as the title might seem to indicate. It's a deep family drama about relationships and how those relationships grow and change in the midst of grief and pain. The novel really resonated with me and I hope it reaches other people in the same way.
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book, all opinions are my own.
I listened to the audiobook, which was brilliantly narrated by Jesse Vilinsky, who also was one of the narrators in Laurie Frankel's One Two Three. She absolutely captures Sally's voice, her nuances, her quirks, and her humor.
The timeline of this book begins in the 90s and moves forward through twenty years. The movement through time is chronicled through the changes in technology and the occurrences of world events, which show the passage of time even as some of the characters have difficulty navigating their own way forward through their grief. This is a familiar subject for me, and I could really identify with the different ways the characters moved forward with stops and starts, sometimes staying in one place for a long time.
This is not a thriller as the title might seem to indicate. It's a deep family drama about relationships and how those relationships grow and change in the midst of grief and pain. The novel really resonated with me and I hope it reaches other people in the same way.
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book, all opinions are my own.
February 3, 2026
i liked a book so much and so unexpectedly that i have no choice but to try to recreate the magic with everything that author has ever written
(review to come)
(review to come)
December 24, 2022
Un diario lungo più di dieci anni, destinato a una sorella scomparsa ma il cui reale fine è rispondere a una domanda impossibile: come si mantiene il legame con chi abbiamo perso e allo stesso tempo scioglierlo per andare avanti? Dotata di un umorismo insolito, l’autrice costruisce una storia unica nella sua ordinarietà. Il lutto è per noi un evento comune e insieme straordinario, sconvolge le nostre vite tanto quanto le rende uguali a quelle di tutti gli altri. Questa miscela di eccezionalità e quotidianità è la formula che rende il romanzo così vicino e familiare ma anche insolito, sempre riconoscibile eppure in grado di creare nuove immagini, nuove espressioni per le nostre solite emozioni.
August 23, 2022
Notes on Your Sudden Departure by Alison Espach is a 2022 Henry Holt & Co. Publication.
Sally adores her older sister, Kathy, a teenager who is in the throws of her first romance, with a boy named Billy. But when a horrible tragedy strikes, Sally is left to cope with the aftermath as she grows into young adulthood, refusing to approach grief in the same way as her other family members- who want to place blame, when really there isn't any.
Sally takes the reader on her personal journey through an unimaginable trauma and the effect it had on her life and the surprising irony of grief, life, and love...
Okay, first, this is going to be more of a ‘professional- critical thinking cap’ review and less of a personal one. This book was marked by some people on social media and book sites as a romance or mystery thriller- and so this was not at all what I was expecting.
So, instead of marinading in my frustration at getting a book I was ill prepared for, I’m going to step back and analyze it a different way.
So that no one else makes the same mistake I did, this book is not a romance, nor is it a mystery or a thriller. It could fit in a YA/Coming of Age category, but be warned that it is not a happy book- not once- not ever- it is unrelenting in its dreariness, and if you are in a bad place, feeling depressed, or if gray, overcast days affect your mood, this might not be the book you are looking for at this time.
Okay, that said…
The story is a well-written, and quite effective in describing how a tragic event can utterly upend a person’s life, turn them into someone else entirely, and how that also has a domino effect all its own.
I know I said I wouldn't make this personal- but I knew of someone who had a similar experience and carried so much guilt because of the misplaced blame they placed on themselves, and the blame laid at their feet by others who were struggling with their own grief.
So, in a distant way I could relate to the situation written about here and understand the various emotions described in the book, and how over the years, these feelings linger, ebb and flow with intensity- or morph into other things over time- with forgiveness and acceptance setting in- in the best case scenario.
This story also includes a love story of sorts- not a romance- at least not in the typical or traditional sense, but I'm comfortable calling it a love story. To say it’s complicated is an understatement, but it works spectacularly in the most bittersweet way imaginable.
While I grumbled through much of this story, whining at it's depressing and heavy nature, by the time I turned the final page, I did have a better perspective, and felt a bit of my own gloom begin to lift.
If I had known going in what to expect, I would have been better prepared emotionally and probably would not have struggled so hard with this one.
I wish the circumstances had been different in this instance because this really is a thought-provoking, and powerful drama.
For that reason, I’m giving the book four well-deserved stars!
4 stars
Sally adores her older sister, Kathy, a teenager who is in the throws of her first romance, with a boy named Billy. But when a horrible tragedy strikes, Sally is left to cope with the aftermath as she grows into young adulthood, refusing to approach grief in the same way as her other family members- who want to place blame, when really there isn't any.
Sally takes the reader on her personal journey through an unimaginable trauma and the effect it had on her life and the surprising irony of grief, life, and love...
Okay, first, this is going to be more of a ‘professional- critical thinking cap’ review and less of a personal one. This book was marked by some people on social media and book sites as a romance or mystery thriller- and so this was not at all what I was expecting.
So, instead of marinading in my frustration at getting a book I was ill prepared for, I’m going to step back and analyze it a different way.
So that no one else makes the same mistake I did, this book is not a romance, nor is it a mystery or a thriller. It could fit in a YA/Coming of Age category, but be warned that it is not a happy book- not once- not ever- it is unrelenting in its dreariness, and if you are in a bad place, feeling depressed, or if gray, overcast days affect your mood, this might not be the book you are looking for at this time.
Okay, that said…
The story is a well-written, and quite effective in describing how a tragic event can utterly upend a person’s life, turn them into someone else entirely, and how that also has a domino effect all its own.
I know I said I wouldn't make this personal- but I knew of someone who had a similar experience and carried so much guilt because of the misplaced blame they placed on themselves, and the blame laid at their feet by others who were struggling with their own grief.
So, in a distant way I could relate to the situation written about here and understand the various emotions described in the book, and how over the years, these feelings linger, ebb and flow with intensity- or morph into other things over time- with forgiveness and acceptance setting in- in the best case scenario.
This story also includes a love story of sorts- not a romance- at least not in the typical or traditional sense, but I'm comfortable calling it a love story. To say it’s complicated is an understatement, but it works spectacularly in the most bittersweet way imaginable.
While I grumbled through much of this story, whining at it's depressing and heavy nature, by the time I turned the final page, I did have a better perspective, and felt a bit of my own gloom begin to lift.
If I had known going in what to expect, I would have been better prepared emotionally and probably would not have struggled so hard with this one.
I wish the circumstances had been different in this instance because this really is a thought-provoking, and powerful drama.
For that reason, I’m giving the book four well-deserved stars!
4 stars
December 28, 2025
⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
I could probably read Alison Espach’s grocery list and be transfixed. Her writing touches my soul in an indescribably beautiful way. This book was magic to me.
I was completely transported into Sally’s head, a place where rumination rules alongside accidental vulnerability and awkward honesty. Her longing for connection can be felt in every word she narrates, as though she is reaching through its pages to pull you in closer. She is a gem.
Her relationship with Billy is a masterclass in the inescapability of love. How it often makes itself known in the most inconvenient of ways and overwhelms our better judgment. Their story is beautiful. It is tender, it is emotional, and it dabbles in tragedy. I could have read 200 more pages of it, and as someone who thinks books over 300 pages need a real good reason to exist, that is saying a lot.
The Wedding People is still one of my favorite books, but this one makes a strong case for why it belongs next to it in my pantheon of admiration.
I could probably read Alison Espach’s grocery list and be transfixed. Her writing touches my soul in an indescribably beautiful way. This book was magic to me.
I was completely transported into Sally’s head, a place where rumination rules alongside accidental vulnerability and awkward honesty. Her longing for connection can be felt in every word she narrates, as though she is reaching through its pages to pull you in closer. She is a gem.
Her relationship with Billy is a masterclass in the inescapability of love. How it often makes itself known in the most inconvenient of ways and overwhelms our better judgment. Their story is beautiful. It is tender, it is emotional, and it dabbles in tragedy. I could have read 200 more pages of it, and as someone who thinks books over 300 pages need a real good reason to exist, that is saying a lot.
The Wedding People is still one of my favorite books, but this one makes a strong case for why it belongs next to it in my pantheon of admiration.
January 1, 2023
3.5⭐️
I didn’t expect this story to be the kind of story it is. Tell me why I thought this was going to be some sort of mystery?! I have no one to blame but myself for that.
The main story is told from the lens of Sally who constantly uses the second person tense to refer to her sister Kathy. It is quite clear that Sally looks up to her sister all throughout the book. It is also clear that at least from my perspective that Sally is peculiar as she usually sees the world differently from most people. I enjoyed her character, and since this is mainly a coming of age, I got to enjoy her character in different stages of her life.
After a certain event in this book, it did become a bit more interesting but I still found this to be simple storytelling. Something that was amazing in this one was the humor though and this kept me going. The ending was definitely weird but that was obviously done on purpose.
I would recommend it if you enjoy coming-of-age stories.
I didn’t expect this story to be the kind of story it is. Tell me why I thought this was going to be some sort of mystery?! I have no one to blame but myself for that.
The main story is told from the lens of Sally who constantly uses the second person tense to refer to her sister Kathy. It is quite clear that Sally looks up to her sister all throughout the book. It is also clear that at least from my perspective that Sally is peculiar as she usually sees the world differently from most people. I enjoyed her character, and since this is mainly a coming of age, I got to enjoy her character in different stages of her life.
After a certain event in this book, it did become a bit more interesting but I still found this to be simple storytelling. Something that was amazing in this one was the humor though and this kept me going. The ending was definitely weird but that was obviously done on purpose.
I would recommend it if you enjoy coming-of-age stories.
April 23, 2022
3.5 stars
Losing a family member hurts no matter who it is but losing a young member seems to hurt a bit more. You think over the years how this child will never see another birthday, another Christmas, another graduation, or even have a child of her own. When Kathy is killed in an automobile crash and her sister Sally, and Kathy's boyfriend Billy survive, we learn the before the now and the after of the survivors' lives. The story is told through the eyes and experiences of Sally who of course feels a large amount of survivor's guilt. It is a sad story as we are also revealed the coping strategies of the girls' parents, the mom seeking psychics and often swearing she sees Kathy.
Lives over fifteen years are revealed and as Billy (who the parents forbid Sally to see or talk to) draw closer, sharing their feelings, their thoughts, and eventually their love. They are united through a loss and offer each other an understanding of what that loss means and it effects it seems everything they do. There is also a large amount of just plain growing that Sally does as she goes from a young adolescent to a teenager with the assorted problems of the age.
It is a somewhat emotional ride as one would expect with the underlying concept of the closeness that sisters often share. It is not all doom and gloom as there are parts that one can laugh along with as the author truly reveals what it was like to find love and loss. No one can understand another's hurt unless they too, have experienced the same hurt.
Thanks to Macmillian Audio and NetGalley I was able to listen to this story. It's a bit long, but gives a definite knowledge of suffering and loss and the ability to move on, but never forget.
This book is due to be published May 17, 2022
Losing a family member hurts no matter who it is but losing a young member seems to hurt a bit more. You think over the years how this child will never see another birthday, another Christmas, another graduation, or even have a child of her own. When Kathy is killed in an automobile crash and her sister Sally, and Kathy's boyfriend Billy survive, we learn the before the now and the after of the survivors' lives. The story is told through the eyes and experiences of Sally who of course feels a large amount of survivor's guilt. It is a sad story as we are also revealed the coping strategies of the girls' parents, the mom seeking psychics and often swearing she sees Kathy.
Lives over fifteen years are revealed and as Billy (who the parents forbid Sally to see or talk to) draw closer, sharing their feelings, their thoughts, and eventually their love. They are united through a loss and offer each other an understanding of what that loss means and it effects it seems everything they do. There is also a large amount of just plain growing that Sally does as she goes from a young adolescent to a teenager with the assorted problems of the age.
It is a somewhat emotional ride as one would expect with the underlying concept of the closeness that sisters often share. It is not all doom and gloom as there are parts that one can laugh along with as the author truly reveals what it was like to find love and loss. No one can understand another's hurt unless they too, have experienced the same hurt.
Thanks to Macmillian Audio and NetGalley I was able to listen to this story. It's a bit long, but gives a definite knowledge of suffering and loss and the ability to move on, but never forget.
This book is due to be published May 17, 2022
December 31, 2025
This was awful. A book about nothing. The ending was trash.
A lot of people loved this one. I thought it was a boring snooze. Hated all the people in this book. Thought the grief portrayed in it was just odd. Yeah - “people grieve differently”. Sure- but most don’t grieve like child stuck in an adult body. This felt so far off the mark of true grief and nothing frustrated me more (and I am writing this after being deep in loss and grief).
A lot of people loved this one. I thought it was a boring snooze. Hated all the people in this book. Thought the grief portrayed in it was just odd. Yeah - “people grieve differently”. Sure- but most don’t grieve like child stuck in an adult body. This felt so far off the mark of true grief and nothing frustrated me more (and I am writing this after being deep in loss and grief).
May 30, 2022
Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance by Alison Espach was a powerful book about the themes of loss, grief and love. Aren’t we all guilty at times of being complacent about life and all we hold dear to us? Life can change in the blink of an eye. All that we took for granted can be snatched away so quickly. The members of the Holt family have had to come to terms with that exact reality. They would each discover their own way to grieve, accept or not accept, and live with the fate their family had been dealt. Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance was told from the perspective of Sally, the younger of the two daughters in the Holt family. It was tender and moving. I listened to the audiobook of this beautifully written book. It was satisfyingly narrated by Jesse Vilinsky.
A relationship between two sisters can be quite beautiful. Kathy and Sally Holt had a special bond with each other. Sally, the younger of the two sisters, looked up to her big sister and admired her very much. The two sisters were quite different in appearance and in their personalities. They grew up in a small town in Connecticut during the early 1990’s. Sally and Kathy shared a childhood bedroom and often confided in each other. Kathy always answered all of Sally’s never ending questions about life, love and even about her boyfriend, Billy Barnes. The one thing that the sisters had in common was their mutual infatuation for Billy. It was well known that Billy was popular and was a basketball star with a promising future in the sport. Billy became Kathy’s boyfriend though, not Sally’s.
One morning, Billy arrived at the Holt house to drive Kathy to school. Sally was determined to get Billy to agree to drive her to school as well. Even though Kathy opposed the idea, Sally had the upper hand in this. The night before, Kathy had gone out with Billy. She had convinced Sally to take notes on The State of the Union speech for her that would be televised that evening. Kathy was having a quiz on it the next morning. Sally was reluctant to comply but she did. During the speech, Sally’s mother revealed something about her feelings for the President. Sally wrote some of her mother’s remarks in her sister’s notebook. That morning, as the three were driving to school in Billy’s car, Kathy insisted that Sally give her the notes that she had taken for her the previous evening. Kathy immediately noticed what Sally had written about their mother and she became upset. She was shocked by what Sally had revealed about their mother but upset because she had to turn her notes in. How could she let her teacher see what Sally had written? Kathy insisted that Billy drive faster so she would not be late for her quiz but then the unthinkable happened. Life would never be the same for Sally, Billy or Sally’s parents ever again.
Through Sally’s POV, loss and grief were explored with true compassion and sincerity. Losing a child is devastating. Losing a sibling is unbearable. Losing the person you love is tragic. Loss is felt in all different degrees and can bring with it denial, guilt, intense hurt and the lack of the ability to want to move on. Sally, Billy and Sally’s parents experienced all these emotions and more. Blame was also a factor that was instilled and felt. Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance examined all these feelings about the effects of a devastating loss. It was beautifully written and the ending was so completely satisfying. The characters were believable and so well developed. This was my first book that I have read by Alison Espach but would definitely seek out future books by her. I really enjoyed listening to the audiobook of Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance by Alison Espach and highly recommend it.
Thank you to Macmillan Audio for allowing me to listen to the audiobook of Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance by Alison Espach through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
A relationship between two sisters can be quite beautiful. Kathy and Sally Holt had a special bond with each other. Sally, the younger of the two sisters, looked up to her big sister and admired her very much. The two sisters were quite different in appearance and in their personalities. They grew up in a small town in Connecticut during the early 1990’s. Sally and Kathy shared a childhood bedroom and often confided in each other. Kathy always answered all of Sally’s never ending questions about life, love and even about her boyfriend, Billy Barnes. The one thing that the sisters had in common was their mutual infatuation for Billy. It was well known that Billy was popular and was a basketball star with a promising future in the sport. Billy became Kathy’s boyfriend though, not Sally’s.
One morning, Billy arrived at the Holt house to drive Kathy to school. Sally was determined to get Billy to agree to drive her to school as well. Even though Kathy opposed the idea, Sally had the upper hand in this. The night before, Kathy had gone out with Billy. She had convinced Sally to take notes on The State of the Union speech for her that would be televised that evening. Kathy was having a quiz on it the next morning. Sally was reluctant to comply but she did. During the speech, Sally’s mother revealed something about her feelings for the President. Sally wrote some of her mother’s remarks in her sister’s notebook. That morning, as the three were driving to school in Billy’s car, Kathy insisted that Sally give her the notes that she had taken for her the previous evening. Kathy immediately noticed what Sally had written about their mother and she became upset. She was shocked by what Sally had revealed about their mother but upset because she had to turn her notes in. How could she let her teacher see what Sally had written? Kathy insisted that Billy drive faster so she would not be late for her quiz but then the unthinkable happened. Life would never be the same for Sally, Billy or Sally’s parents ever again.
Through Sally’s POV, loss and grief were explored with true compassion and sincerity. Losing a child is devastating. Losing a sibling is unbearable. Losing the person you love is tragic. Loss is felt in all different degrees and can bring with it denial, guilt, intense hurt and the lack of the ability to want to move on. Sally, Billy and Sally’s parents experienced all these emotions and more. Blame was also a factor that was instilled and felt. Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance examined all these feelings about the effects of a devastating loss. It was beautifully written and the ending was so completely satisfying. The characters were believable and so well developed. This was my first book that I have read by Alison Espach but would definitely seek out future books by her. I really enjoyed listening to the audiobook of Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance by Alison Espach and highly recommend it.
Thank you to Macmillan Audio for allowing me to listen to the audiobook of Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance by Alison Espach through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
April 22, 2022
3.5 stars
Sisters, summers at the pool and one tragic night.
As the book begins, we see Sally Holt starting the eighth grade. Her older sister Kathy can finally say that Billy Barnes, who the sisters have been ogling all summer, is her boyfriend. Kathy is overjoyed and Sally is intrigued.
The book spans fifteen years as Sally tells the story of before, during, and after Kathy’s death. She not only addresses what she goes through, but what her parents and Billy experience as well. This is a book that looks at sisterhood, love, family, how the loss of someone affects your entire life, how sharing a bond/experience with someone brings you closer, loss, grief, and moving on.
This is not a happy-go-lucky book but an exploration of Sally's experiences and how losing her sister affected her. It shows both shared and individual grief. But it is not all doom and gloom either. It shows Sally growing, Billy growing, it shows love and longing and resiliency.
This book had a lot of insight and is moving at times.
I listened to the audiobook and thought the narrator did a good job but wondered if I would have enjoyed the book more had I read it. Either way, this book is moving and thought provoking.
Thank you to Macmillan Audio and NetGalley who provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All the thoughts and opinions are my own.
Read more of my reviews at www.openbookposts.com
Sisters, summers at the pool and one tragic night.
As the book begins, we see Sally Holt starting the eighth grade. Her older sister Kathy can finally say that Billy Barnes, who the sisters have been ogling all summer, is her boyfriend. Kathy is overjoyed and Sally is intrigued.
The book spans fifteen years as Sally tells the story of before, during, and after Kathy’s death. She not only addresses what she goes through, but what her parents and Billy experience as well. This is a book that looks at sisterhood, love, family, how the loss of someone affects your entire life, how sharing a bond/experience with someone brings you closer, loss, grief, and moving on.
This is not a happy-go-lucky book but an exploration of Sally's experiences and how losing her sister affected her. It shows both shared and individual grief. But it is not all doom and gloom either. It shows Sally growing, Billy growing, it shows love and longing and resiliency.
This book had a lot of insight and is moving at times.
I listened to the audiobook and thought the narrator did a good job but wondered if I would have enjoyed the book more had I read it. Either way, this book is moving and thought provoking.
Thank you to Macmillan Audio and NetGalley who provided me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All the thoughts and opinions are my own.
Read more of my reviews at www.openbookposts.com
September 12, 2022
QUICK update --
I'm changing this to 5 stars -(from 4.5) - not because it was perfect -- but because --truth is --I really liked it --
I would love talking more about it -- and because I miss seeing my own older sister more often than possible.
If you were born the younger sister -and both experienced a major tragedy together like we did (our father died when I was 4 --she was 9) -- an 'extra' close bond developed between us: I followed her around like a little puppy.
This book allowed me to look deeper into the history between the love my sister and I share.
She will 'always' be the most beautiful--the most wise --(and I'm okay with that!!!!)
Here is my original review I wrote this morning:
Library….Audiobook…..read by Jesse Villinsky
…..12 hours and 17 minutes
My expectations were not high …..but from the minute I started listening to this story — I was pulled in. The content didn’t seem sensitive at first — in fact I was laughing along with the sarcastic dialogue (mom especially was quick-witted in the beginning).
The story takes place in the nineties in a small town in Connecticut. We meet the Holt family.
The parents were likable people - a darling married couple … After a devastating accident…they were much less ‘darling’ …..living with shocking loss, deep grief and suffering. Their first born daughter, Kathy, was killed in a car accident.
But until the accident—
The parents had one of the funniest scenes when watching President Bill Clinton during a State of the Union speech. Point being — the parents were totally in love with each other: no questions about it.
Point being— their love was still never forgotten to readers.
Sally and Kathy were wonderfully bonded sisters. Their ‘sister’ relationship was well developed. We’re clear about who each of them are — their differences between awkwardness, and confidence, popularity and academically driven, beautifying importance or insignificant, sizzling about life, love, and friends to socially frosty and subordinate.
One thing remained true — the sisters loved each other: no question about it.
“Notes On Your Sudden Disappearance” is ‘Sally’s story.
At twenty-eight years of age — she summons us into her past…..giving us the full details of ‘what happened’ — before, during, and after the accident……to her, her parents, and Billy Bonds.
Humor was on the battlefield….lightening the dark mood throughout this novel.
I was totally absorbed—flip flopping between laughing hysterically and feeling despondent. (sometimes at the same time).
This was my first novel by Alison Espach. She did a great job balancing funny and tragic. Her funnies were ‘really’ funny — not at all contrived. And the sadness — it was such a given — Alison was smart enough to know she didn’t need to ‘add’ more sad on top of ‘sad’. She trusted the readers to feel the impact organically.
It’s the type of book I would’ve enjoyed reading with a buddy. Without giving spoilers — I thought the writing was terrific… but I also had thoughts of ‘wishing ‘more’ development about Billy and Sally’s relationship…..(things that I would have enjoyed discussing about with a reading buddy)….
But I loved the characters—
and overall ….I was completely involved with this story. …..just a darn good novel. 4.5 rating
I’m left wanting to read something else by Alison Espach.
I'm changing this to 5 stars -(from 4.5) - not because it was perfect -- but because --truth is --I really liked it --
I would love talking more about it -- and because I miss seeing my own older sister more often than possible.
If you were born the younger sister -and both experienced a major tragedy together like we did (our father died when I was 4 --she was 9) -- an 'extra' close bond developed between us: I followed her around like a little puppy.
This book allowed me to look deeper into the history between the love my sister and I share.
She will 'always' be the most beautiful--the most wise --(and I'm okay with that!!!!)
Here is my original review I wrote this morning:
Library….Audiobook…..read by Jesse Villinsky
…..12 hours and 17 minutes
My expectations were not high …..but from the minute I started listening to this story — I was pulled in. The content didn’t seem sensitive at first — in fact I was laughing along with the sarcastic dialogue (mom especially was quick-witted in the beginning).
The story takes place in the nineties in a small town in Connecticut. We meet the Holt family.
The parents were likable people - a darling married couple … After a devastating accident…they were much less ‘darling’ …..living with shocking loss, deep grief and suffering. Their first born daughter, Kathy, was killed in a car accident.
But until the accident—
The parents had one of the funniest scenes when watching President Bill Clinton during a State of the Union speech. Point being — the parents were totally in love with each other: no questions about it.
Point being— their love was still never forgotten to readers.
Sally and Kathy were wonderfully bonded sisters. Their ‘sister’ relationship was well developed. We’re clear about who each of them are — their differences between awkwardness, and confidence, popularity and academically driven, beautifying importance or insignificant, sizzling about life, love, and friends to socially frosty and subordinate.
One thing remained true — the sisters loved each other: no question about it.
“Notes On Your Sudden Disappearance” is ‘Sally’s story.
At twenty-eight years of age — she summons us into her past…..giving us the full details of ‘what happened’ — before, during, and after the accident……to her, her parents, and Billy Bonds.
Humor was on the battlefield….lightening the dark mood throughout this novel.
I was totally absorbed—flip flopping between laughing hysterically and feeling despondent. (sometimes at the same time).
This was my first novel by Alison Espach. She did a great job balancing funny and tragic. Her funnies were ‘really’ funny — not at all contrived. And the sadness — it was such a given — Alison was smart enough to know she didn’t need to ‘add’ more sad on top of ‘sad’. She trusted the readers to feel the impact organically.
It’s the type of book I would’ve enjoyed reading with a buddy. Without giving spoilers — I thought the writing was terrific… but I also had thoughts of ‘wishing ‘more’ development about Billy and Sally’s relationship…..(things that I would have enjoyed discussing about with a reading buddy)….
But I loved the characters—
and overall ….I was completely involved with this story. …..just a darn good novel. 4.5 rating
I’m left wanting to read something else by Alison Espach.
May 12, 2022
This is a story about sisters(Sally and Kathy)-- torn apart by death in their teens. It is a story about how the family(the Holts) deals with their grief -- not great. And it is a love story. What I especially enjoyed about this book was the growth we see in Sally, the sister left behind, and in Billy Barnes -- the driver and Kathy's boyfriend. Life is messy and crippling grief makes it very difficult to move forward. The characters in this book make progress at times and at others stall or fall back. Sally and Kathy's parents struggle the most and my heart hurts for them. This would make an excellent book group pick. There would be so much to discuss about family, grief, healing, and even the changes brought about by the internet and smartphones as the book begins in the early 90's and ends 20 years later. Rounded up from 3.5.
Thank you to Henry Holt & Co. and Edelweiss+ for a DRC in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you to Henry Holt & Co. and Edelweiss+ for a DRC in exchange for an honest review.
April 8, 2022
Please note that I received this book via NetGalley. This did not affect my rating or review.
So I have to do something a bit different with this book. I won't summarize what didn't work first because my brain keeps jumping around too much. I am going to start out with the synopsis, characters, writing, plot, flow, setting, ending. Then get to the overall impressions of the book. I just feel like I got really drunk last night and read this book. But I think because of how it is marketed (mystery, thriller, romance, family, drama) that maybe I am misreading the ending in the book. I don't know. Let's go.
"Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance" follows pre-teen Sally Holt. Sally is obsessed by everything her older sister Kathy does. And when Kathy starts to fall for fellow teen Billy Barnes. Kathy recounts her day and talks about the times that she sees Billy in the hallways. Eventually though Kathy and Billy end up an item and over the following months Sally feels cut off from her sister as she begins to spend more time with Billy. Sally though starts to fall for Billy a bit too, but also hates him because he's taking Kathy away from her. But then a tragedy occurs and then there's the rest of the book.
So Sally. I didn't like her. I think that Espach at times was using enough context clues for a reader to read Sally as being on the autism spectrum. And I only say that because she has trouble understanding the meaning of things, she takes a lot of things too literal. And her growing need/obsession of everything that is Billy Barnes. And I hate to say this, but I found Sally repellant after a while. She really doesn't seem to understand other people around her at all. And at times I wanted to say go to therapy. But she does at least to two separate ones during the timeline of this book and I am like, okay, so sometimes therapy does not work.
I have to say that the other characters, Kathy, the parents, Billy Barnes, other characters were well developed in the 1/3 of this book. And then everything came crashing down. I can't do spoilers in these posts because they will show, but will post some spoilers on my Goodreads reviews if you are interested in reading them there. I just have to say that no one felt very real after a certain part of the book. I think it's because we are still stuck with the narrative style that I will get to in a minute.
The writing actually didn't work for me. I didn't see a lot of reviews mention this, but Espach writes this as if Sally is talking to her sister Kathy and then will even recount what Kathy said. So it's like you are watching a play and the narrator is explaining things but is also in the story. The whole thing was like a very long stream of consciousness at times and I wanted to yell stop, stop, stop so many times. It just didn't work after the first part of the book.
The flow was bad. I think things grinded to a halt after the first 1/3 of the book. The remaining 2/3 I just kept going my God this is still going. I think because the characters are stuck it just felt like you are watching them be stuck. The book showcases 15 years and follows Sally from the time she is a pre-teen until she is 27 years old.
Since Bill Clinton is mentioned along with 9/11 I guessed this book was set between 1993 and 1998 (the first 1/3) and the remaining parts take place after 2001.
I recently read another coming of age dramatic book, "Our Little World" and when compared to that, this book doesn't even compare. I think because that author managed to touch upon how grief shakes and changes you. But she has people moving on. For me, the characters in this book never move on. They all seem stuck. And in Sally's case she's just obsessed. I think if the genders had been switched this whole book would have been a cautionary tale or something. I just didn't find it uplifting. I went geez, I really just read that. But then I don't know if this is supposed to be dark or what. It's marketed weird. I saw some other reviewers calling this a dark romance and I went, what? We are doing this? The main reason why this got two stars from me was the the first 1/3 was really good and got me very engrossed in this story. But then the whole book takes a swan dive. So, there you go, my jumbled thoughts on this strange book.
So I have to do something a bit different with this book. I won't summarize what didn't work first because my brain keeps jumping around too much. I am going to start out with the synopsis, characters, writing, plot, flow, setting, ending. Then get to the overall impressions of the book. I just feel like I got really drunk last night and read this book. But I think because of how it is marketed (mystery, thriller, romance, family, drama) that maybe I am misreading the ending in the book. I don't know. Let's go.
"Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance" follows pre-teen Sally Holt. Sally is obsessed by everything her older sister Kathy does. And when Kathy starts to fall for fellow teen Billy Barnes. Kathy recounts her day and talks about the times that she sees Billy in the hallways. Eventually though Kathy and Billy end up an item and over the following months Sally feels cut off from her sister as she begins to spend more time with Billy. Sally though starts to fall for Billy a bit too, but also hates him because he's taking Kathy away from her. But then a tragedy occurs and then there's the rest of the book.
So Sally. I didn't like her. I think that Espach at times was using enough context clues for a reader to read Sally as being on the autism spectrum. And I only say that because she has trouble understanding the meaning of things, she takes a lot of things too literal. And her growing need/obsession of everything that is Billy Barnes. And I hate to say this, but I found Sally repellant after a while. She really doesn't seem to understand other people around her at all. And at times I wanted to say go to therapy. But she does at least to two separate ones during the timeline of this book and I am like, okay, so sometimes therapy does not work.
I have to say that the other characters, Kathy, the parents, Billy Barnes, other characters were well developed in the 1/3 of this book. And then everything came crashing down. I can't do spoilers in these posts because they will show, but will post some spoilers on my Goodreads reviews if you are interested in reading them there. I just have to say that no one felt very real after a certain part of the book. I think it's because we are still stuck with the narrative style that I will get to in a minute.
The writing actually didn't work for me. I didn't see a lot of reviews mention this, but Espach writes this as if Sally is talking to her sister Kathy and then will even recount what Kathy said. So it's like you are watching a play and the narrator is explaining things but is also in the story. The whole thing was like a very long stream of consciousness at times and I wanted to yell stop, stop, stop so many times. It just didn't work after the first part of the book.
The flow was bad. I think things grinded to a halt after the first 1/3 of the book. The remaining 2/3 I just kept going my God this is still going. I think because the characters are stuck it just felt like you are watching them be stuck. The book showcases 15 years and follows Sally from the time she is a pre-teen until she is 27 years old.
Since Bill Clinton is mentioned along with 9/11 I guessed this book was set between 1993 and 1998 (the first 1/3) and the remaining parts take place after 2001.
I recently read another coming of age dramatic book, "Our Little World" and when compared to that, this book doesn't even compare. I think because that author managed to touch upon how grief shakes and changes you. But she has people moving on. For me, the characters in this book never move on. They all seem stuck. And in Sally's case she's just obsessed. I think if the genders had been switched this whole book would have been a cautionary tale or something. I just didn't find it uplifting. I went geez, I really just read that. But then I don't know if this is supposed to be dark or what. It's marketed weird. I saw some other reviewers calling this a dark romance and I went, what? We are doing this? The main reason why this got two stars from me was the the first 1/3 was really good and got me very engrossed in this story. But then the whole book takes a swan dive. So, there you go, my jumbled thoughts on this strange book.
February 20, 2026
For a full spoiler version of this review, please check out my blog,
spoiledbooks.blogspot.com
I went into this book fully expecting a thriller. I mean, with a title like Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance, tell me you wouldn’t assume twisty plot reveals and late-night reading sessions with all the lights on. Instead, I accidentally stepped into a beautifully written, heart-heavy coming-of-age story about grief, guilt, and the slow, unpredictable ways people heal.
The book follows Sally Holt, a young woman whose life is marked by sudden tragedy. The story unfolds over many years as she processes loss, family fractures, and complicated feelings toward the person who was closest to the tragedy. It’s not fast-paced, but the emotional depth is stunning. The writing feels quiet and observant, like listening to someone confess their heart one sentence at a time.
I went into this book fully expecting a thriller. I mean, with a title like Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance, tell me you wouldn’t assume twisty plot reveals and late-night reading sessions with all the lights on. Instead, I accidentally stepped into a beautifully written, heart-heavy coming-of-age story about grief, guilt, and the slow, unpredictable ways people heal.
The book follows Sally Holt, a young woman whose life is marked by sudden tragedy. The story unfolds over many years as she processes loss, family fractures, and complicated feelings toward the person who was closest to the tragedy. It’s not fast-paced, but the emotional depth is stunning. The writing feels quiet and observant, like listening to someone confess their heart one sentence at a time.
January 3, 2023
What happens when you can’t help falling in love with the boy who (accidentally) killed your sister? This was probably one of the most interesting takes on grief I’ve ever read. Espach’s exploration of the relationship between sisters was also compelling. A friend said once she finished this book, she immediately wished she could read it again for the first time. I can see why. That ending, though… do they (I won’t say who) end up together??? I know I already used the word interesting but man, this was interesting. A coming of age story that I’m surprised hasn’t been talked about more.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 31, 2022
There are moments in life that many of us will look back upon, recognizing them as more significant than we could have ever expected as they happened in real time. They were those tiny, innocuous choices. They were representative of our best and worst choices. They are the moments now that we wish we could change. We didn’t know what they were capable of becoming and they have poisoned us with regret.
Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance is a reflection on grief. The narrator, Sally, recalls fragments of her childhood in a before and after sequence. She brings the readers to the moment that stole an enormous piece of her. She tells us of the looming, impossible pain in the aftermath.
The story builds slowly as Sally reflects back upon her most memorable experiences with her sister, Kathy. We always know Kathy is going to die. We know it somehow pertains to her longtime crush and, eventually, boyfriend, but we don’t know what part he played until it happens. Once I reached that scene, this book completely clenched my heart and did not let go. I loved the melancholic, reflective tone from the start, but my adoration for the story increased as time went on.
While the topic explored is a sad one, this is not a dark, dreary tale. We see both the ache and the normalcy of Sally’s day to day life as she comes of age. The narrative voice felt authentic and I loved Sally’s sense-of-humor. The story simply demonstrated how grief becomes a part of who we are, how the process of grieving is permanent, how deeply we each long for a connection that will ease its lonely burden, and how differently it manifests in each person who has experienced the common loss.
Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance proved to be a well-crafted, insightful story that will easily resonate with anyone who has experienced significant loss. It’s rich in all that makes us human and I loved being found in it for a while.
I am immensely grateful to Henry Holt and Co. for my digital review copy through NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance will be out on May 17, 2022.
Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance is a reflection on grief. The narrator, Sally, recalls fragments of her childhood in a before and after sequence. She brings the readers to the moment that stole an enormous piece of her. She tells us of the looming, impossible pain in the aftermath.
The story builds slowly as Sally reflects back upon her most memorable experiences with her sister, Kathy. We always know Kathy is going to die. We know it somehow pertains to her longtime crush and, eventually, boyfriend, but we don’t know what part he played until it happens. Once I reached that scene, this book completely clenched my heart and did not let go. I loved the melancholic, reflective tone from the start, but my adoration for the story increased as time went on.
While the topic explored is a sad one, this is not a dark, dreary tale. We see both the ache and the normalcy of Sally’s day to day life as she comes of age. The narrative voice felt authentic and I loved Sally’s sense-of-humor. The story simply demonstrated how grief becomes a part of who we are, how the process of grieving is permanent, how deeply we each long for a connection that will ease its lonely burden, and how differently it manifests in each person who has experienced the common loss.
Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance proved to be a well-crafted, insightful story that will easily resonate with anyone who has experienced significant loss. It’s rich in all that makes us human and I loved being found in it for a while.
I am immensely grateful to Henry Holt and Co. for my digital review copy through NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance will be out on May 17, 2022.
March 5, 2025
3.5 rounded up to 4! after loving and obsessing over THE WEDDING PEOPLE, i wanted to check out her backlist title. i’m all over the board with this one tbh!!!
writing style: 5
plot: 4
ending: 2
i heard a wide range of mixed reviews about this one, and i can certainly see why (as you can tell by my ratings on the different elements above…). the plot of this was very interesting and held my attention the entire time. i could see how the title is misleading though because to me, it comes off like a thriller, but it’s absolutely NOT a thriller at all. instead it’s a story about grief and loss and family and how to overcome a sudden and terrible tragedy at a young age.
honestly, this remind me a lot of BLUE SISTERS and CLEOPATRA AND FRANKENSTEIN—both of which i loved so much. her writing style is similar to Coco Mellors tbh so it’s no wonder why i enjoy it! i think it they explore a lot of similar themes and just kind of follow people as they are going through life and acknowledge how everyone is a little bit flawed and dealing with their own shit and we can all just be more empathetic to what others are going through 🫶🏼
what ended up absolutely not working for me was the ending… i actually had to take a few days to sit with it to really figure out how i felt about it and i decided i just didn’t like it at all. trauma bonds typically make me feel a bit weird and even though the ending was open ended in a way, i didn’t love what what is implied.
i will say what i also enjoyed about this book is how i had absolutely no idea where it would go? i went in pretty blind and loved just basically being in the main character’s head and being with her as she grew up and dealt with trying to fill an enormous void and loss at such a young age. i think it was extremely powerful and if you’ve been through loss, this will resonate very well with you.
overall, a mixed bag. but it remains true that i absolutely LOVE her writing style and she is so effortlessly humorous at parts. it’s actually so impressive bc even though it’s such a serious book, i think she brought in so many humorous elements to the story which was absolutely well needed.
TLDR; yes it’s worth the read but not an OMG pick it up right now. THE WEDDING PEOPLE is 300099999x better and has my heart forever! but she is certainly an auto by author for me moving forward 🩵
writing style: 5
plot: 4
ending: 2
i heard a wide range of mixed reviews about this one, and i can certainly see why (as you can tell by my ratings on the different elements above…). the plot of this was very interesting and held my attention the entire time. i could see how the title is misleading though because to me, it comes off like a thriller, but it’s absolutely NOT a thriller at all. instead it’s a story about grief and loss and family and how to overcome a sudden and terrible tragedy at a young age.
honestly, this remind me a lot of BLUE SISTERS and CLEOPATRA AND FRANKENSTEIN—both of which i loved so much. her writing style is similar to Coco Mellors tbh so it’s no wonder why i enjoy it! i think it they explore a lot of similar themes and just kind of follow people as they are going through life and acknowledge how everyone is a little bit flawed and dealing with their own shit and we can all just be more empathetic to what others are going through 🫶🏼
what ended up absolutely not working for me was the ending… i actually had to take a few days to sit with it to really figure out how i felt about it and i decided i just didn’t like it at all. trauma bonds typically make me feel a bit weird and even though the ending was open ended in a way, i didn’t love what what is implied.
i will say what i also enjoyed about this book is how i had absolutely no idea where it would go? i went in pretty blind and loved just basically being in the main character’s head and being with her as she grew up and dealt with trying to fill an enormous void and loss at such a young age. i think it was extremely powerful and if you’ve been through loss, this will resonate very well with you.
overall, a mixed bag. but it remains true that i absolutely LOVE her writing style and she is so effortlessly humorous at parts. it’s actually so impressive bc even though it’s such a serious book, i think she brought in so many humorous elements to the story which was absolutely well needed.
TLDR; yes it’s worth the read but not an OMG pick it up right now. THE WEDDING PEOPLE is 300099999x better and has my heart forever! but she is certainly an auto by author for me moving forward 🩵
May 3, 2022
Ok so I hear the word disappearance and I apparently immediately think ‘Thriller” which is not what this is. No knock on this novel for me not understanding the assignment.
The book is instead more a character study of the relationship between our main character as she talks about and ‘to’ her sister who seems to have gone through an event unexplained until the middle of the novel.
I really enjoyed the format and style of this book but I think it won’t be for everyone. The story is addressed to ‘you,’ the missing sister. I know that can be a format that some people do not like but I found the writing itself, story, and character work more than made up for the odd format.
This was a slow burn story told over such a long period of years that I sometimes struggled with the jumps of time. There was some drag near the end but I never felt like putting it down. The book wasn’t plot driven at all, and just followed the characters' lives with the focus and endgame of the story being fairly unclear until the very last little bit to me which made it feel slightly directionless by then. This all could have been a problem for a plot focused reader like myself but I very much still enjoyed the ride and writing I was on and felt completely enmeshed in the character’s lives and curious to see what happens.
I would have liked to have gotten to know Billy a little more but I kind of liked the use of him as a childhood fantasy, too hard to really know even years later. Sally was likable as our main character. She felt very real to me.
Overall, really enjoyed this one despite it not being at all what I thought it was and something I probably wouldn’t have thought I would like. This was narrated by Jesse Vilinksy who did such a wonderful job that maybe she is why I liked something so out of my wheelhouse!
Thanks to Macmillan Audio and Netgalley for a copy of this audiobook!
The book is instead more a character study of the relationship between our main character as she talks about and ‘to’ her sister who seems to have gone through an event unexplained until the middle of the novel.
I really enjoyed the format and style of this book but I think it won’t be for everyone. The story is addressed to ‘you,’ the missing sister. I know that can be a format that some people do not like but I found the writing itself, story, and character work more than made up for the odd format.
This was a slow burn story told over such a long period of years that I sometimes struggled with the jumps of time. There was some drag near the end but I never felt like putting it down. The book wasn’t plot driven at all, and just followed the characters' lives with the focus and endgame of the story being fairly unclear until the very last little bit to me which made it feel slightly directionless by then. This all could have been a problem for a plot focused reader like myself but I very much still enjoyed the ride and writing I was on and felt completely enmeshed in the character’s lives and curious to see what happens.
I would have liked to have gotten to know Billy a little more but I kind of liked the use of him as a childhood fantasy, too hard to really know even years later. Sally was likable as our main character. She felt very real to me.
Overall, really enjoyed this one despite it not being at all what I thought it was and something I probably wouldn’t have thought I would like. This was narrated by Jesse Vilinksy who did such a wonderful job that maybe she is why I liked something so out of my wheelhouse!
Thanks to Macmillan Audio and Netgalley for a copy of this audiobook!
May 9, 2022
An intimate story of two sisters who were very close. Kathy is the older sister and Sally idolizes her. The things they talk about and do are pretty ordinary. Their family seems fairly happy. Kathy has fallen in love for the first time with Billy Barnes. Sally watches him and has a crush on him. Sally assumes that life will stay like this and she will always have her sister to depend on and love. Then suddenly that is over. Billy, Kathy, and Sally go out for a drive. There is a terrible accident and in an instant Kathy dies. Life changes forever.
The book is written to Kathy. Sally holds Kathy throughout everything, her death and reliving it and then after Kathy is really gone. Sally still always has Kathy beside her. A very poignant look at love, grief, and how trauma changes someone. Sally hadn’t ever become herself yet when this occurs. She must navigate every choice and decision through the lens on her sister’s thoughts. She is supposed to be ok again, but is not, doesn’t have a sense of what to do or say. The only person she can speak honestly with is Billy. Yet, Billy is tied as tight as rope to Kathy, and she must tug her along even with this. Is it possible to have real feeling for someone under these circumstances? Is love possible or is this just a person to hold onto to keep Kathy extra close? An incredible examination of all of this and how her family changes while Sally is trying to figure out how to live without her sister. Heart aching look at love and loss. Very well written and different then I expected, I felt very taken in by Sally and almost as if I was invading on her personal space with Kathy. Definitely Recommend this book.
I read this book with both the book and the Audio 🎧. This worked very well together. I liked reading many of the passages, but the narrator, Jesse Volinsky’s reading made the connection with Kathy seem that much more real. It was done well and added to the story.
Thank you NetGalley, Alison Espach, and Macmillan Audio for a copy of this book. I am glad I had the chance to read a review it.
The book is written to Kathy. Sally holds Kathy throughout everything, her death and reliving it and then after Kathy is really gone. Sally still always has Kathy beside her. A very poignant look at love, grief, and how trauma changes someone. Sally hadn’t ever become herself yet when this occurs. She must navigate every choice and decision through the lens on her sister’s thoughts. She is supposed to be ok again, but is not, doesn’t have a sense of what to do or say. The only person she can speak honestly with is Billy. Yet, Billy is tied as tight as rope to Kathy, and she must tug her along even with this. Is it possible to have real feeling for someone under these circumstances? Is love possible or is this just a person to hold onto to keep Kathy extra close? An incredible examination of all of this and how her family changes while Sally is trying to figure out how to live without her sister. Heart aching look at love and loss. Very well written and different then I expected, I felt very taken in by Sally and almost as if I was invading on her personal space with Kathy. Definitely Recommend this book.
I read this book with both the book and the Audio 🎧. This worked very well together. I liked reading many of the passages, but the narrator, Jesse Volinsky’s reading made the connection with Kathy seem that much more real. It was done well and added to the story.
Thank you NetGalley, Alison Espach, and Macmillan Audio for a copy of this book. I am glad I had the chance to read a review it.
February 24, 2025
An intimate story of two sisters who were very close. Kathy is the older sister and Sally idolizes her. The things they talk about and do are pretty ordinary. Their family seems fairly happy. Kathy has fallen in love for the first time with Billy Barnes. Sally watches him and has a crush on him. Sally assumes that life will stay like this and she will always have her sister to depend on and love. Then suddenly that is over. Billy, Kathy, and Sally go out for a drive. There is a terrible accident and in an instant Kathy dies. Life changes forever.
The book is written to Kathy. Sally holds Kathy throughout everything, her death and reliving it and then after Kathy is really gone. Sally still always has Kathy beside her. A very poignant look at love, grief, and how trauma changes someone. Sally hadn’t ever become herself yet when this occurs. She must navigate every choice and decision through the lens on her sister’s thoughts. She is supposed to be ok again, but is not, doesn’t have a sense of what to do or say. The only person she can speak honestly with is Billy. Yet, Billy is tied as tight as rope to Kathy, and she must tug her along even with this. Is it possible to have real feeling for someone under these circumstances? Is love possible or is this just a person to hold onto to keep Kathy extra close? An incredible examination of all of this and how her family changes while Sally is trying to figure out how to live without her sister. Heart aching look at love and loss. Very well written and different then I expected, I felt very taken in by Sally and almost as if I was invading on her personal space with Kathy. Definitely Recommend this book.
I read this book with both the book and the Audio 🎧. This worked very well together. I liked reading many of the passages, but the Jesse Valinsky’s narration made the connection with Kathy seem that much more real. It was done well.
Thank you NetGalley, Alison Espach, and Henry Holt & Co. for a copy of this book. I am glad I had the chance to read a review it.
The book is written to Kathy. Sally holds Kathy throughout everything, her death and reliving it and then after Kathy is really gone. Sally still always has Kathy beside her. A very poignant look at love, grief, and how trauma changes someone. Sally hadn’t ever become herself yet when this occurs. She must navigate every choice and decision through the lens on her sister’s thoughts. She is supposed to be ok again, but is not, doesn’t have a sense of what to do or say. The only person she can speak honestly with is Billy. Yet, Billy is tied as tight as rope to Kathy, and she must tug her along even with this. Is it possible to have real feeling for someone under these circumstances? Is love possible or is this just a person to hold onto to keep Kathy extra close? An incredible examination of all of this and how her family changes while Sally is trying to figure out how to live without her sister. Heart aching look at love and loss. Very well written and different then I expected, I felt very taken in by Sally and almost as if I was invading on her personal space with Kathy. Definitely Recommend this book.
I read this book with both the book and the Audio 🎧. This worked very well together. I liked reading many of the passages, but the Jesse Valinsky’s narration made the connection with Kathy seem that much more real. It was done well.
Thank you NetGalley, Alison Espach, and Henry Holt & Co. for a copy of this book. I am glad I had the chance to read a review it.
March 6, 2024
Catching Up…
I read this a while ago. I am now bringing my review to Goodreads.
This is a story of grief.
It is insightful, moving, funny, a deeply relatable coming-of-age meditation on grief, guilt and how it can wreak, havoc, destroy, change and heal lives.
It explores love, family bonds and catastrophic loss.
To say more would give away the plot.
I read this a while ago. I am now bringing my review to Goodreads.
This is a story of grief.
It is insightful, moving, funny, a deeply relatable coming-of-age meditation on grief, guilt and how it can wreak, havoc, destroy, change and heal lives.
It explores love, family bonds and catastrophic loss.
To say more would give away the plot.
April 27, 2022
I think the thing that’s going to hurt this book the most is the title and cover. It’s super misleading. This is NOT a thriller, mystery or a suspense. It’s also not a romance!
Not a ton happens plot wise. But, you get to dive deep into Sally’s thoughts, and it’s a good coming of age story. There’s not a lot of character development, but you get to enjoy her every thought for 15 years.
Thanks Henry Holt for an arc copy!
Not a ton happens plot wise. But, you get to dive deep into Sally’s thoughts, and it’s a good coming of age story. There’s not a lot of character development, but you get to enjoy her every thought for 15 years.
Thanks Henry Holt for an arc copy!
April 8, 2022
A gorgeous and dark coming of age story, Alison Espach’s “Notes on My Sudden Disappearance” is a novel that will grab you by the heart and not let you go. It's narrative is a young girl living in the shadow of a traumatic event involving her older sister and her boyfriend, Billy. As the sister who survives, Sally’s life goes on, largely shaped by her sister, Kathy’s absence, and her growing attachment to the one person who seems to understand the pain she continues to experience, Billy. The characters are engaging, and the story is beautifully written, and authentic.
This is the best book I have read so far this year. It deals beautifully with relationships and grief, with how people live after trauma, and ultimately, how we forgive ourselves and go on living. Highly recommended. Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.
This is the best book I have read so far this year. It deals beautifully with relationships and grief, with how people live after trauma, and ultimately, how we forgive ourselves and go on living. Highly recommended. Thank you to NetGalley for the ARC.
July 5, 2022
This was a strong and powerful audiobook.
This was more in the literary fiction genre, and reminded me a lot of the style of 'Notes on an Execution by Danya Kapka, and not just the title!
I was gripped through the majority of the book, although I think the pace could have helped with being a little faster for my full and total enjoyment.
The writing was stunning, Sally's observations about life after her sister's death had me gasping with it's beautiful brutality- the depictions of grief are so accurate. How life goes on when your world has stopped turning.
This was more in the literary fiction genre, and reminded me a lot of the style of 'Notes on an Execution by Danya Kapka, and not just the title!
I was gripped through the majority of the book, although I think the pace could have helped with being a little faster for my full and total enjoyment.
The writing was stunning, Sally's observations about life after her sister's death had me gasping with it's beautiful brutality- the depictions of grief are so accurate. How life goes on when your world has stopped turning.
June 25, 2022
I’ve never read a book quite like this before! It’s narrated by Sally, Kathy’s younger sister. It starts when they’re young and gradually leads up to the point that Kathy is 16 and Sally is 13. Kathy is dating Billy, who she’s been in love with forever, and of course Sally is too, by proxy! Sadly, the three of them are in a bad accident when Billy swerves to miss a dear, and Kathy dies, forever 16.
Billy is really banged up and broken up, and though her father hates Billy and forbids Sally from speaking with him, the two of them become online friends and eventually phone pals. She’s the only one who doesn’t blame him and wants to know him. Over the years, they fall in and out of each other’s lives. Sally grows up and has relationships and travels and jobs, and Billy is never far from her thoughts.
The book is written as though Sally is speaking to Kathy, and narrating things she’s missing. It explores what different levels of grief and grief responses look like in different people, and how profound such a heavy loss is to the people left behind. I did not like Sally for most of the book, she felt cold and removed and cynical, but in the end I understood her a bit better. Billy has my heart forever! And Sally’s quirky parents, I loved them too.
Billy is really banged up and broken up, and though her father hates Billy and forbids Sally from speaking with him, the two of them become online friends and eventually phone pals. She’s the only one who doesn’t blame him and wants to know him. Over the years, they fall in and out of each other’s lives. Sally grows up and has relationships and travels and jobs, and Billy is never far from her thoughts.
The book is written as though Sally is speaking to Kathy, and narrating things she’s missing. It explores what different levels of grief and grief responses look like in different people, and how profound such a heavy loss is to the people left behind. I did not like Sally for most of the book, she felt cold and removed and cynical, but in the end I understood her a bit better. Billy has my heart forever! And Sally’s quirky parents, I loved them too.
July 5, 2022
**ARC provided by publisher in exchange for an honest review**
It feels very inappropriate to write this about book that relies heavily on the theme of grief but I had so much fun with it it was almost obscene. Normally I am not very into a character-driven stories but this one grabbed my attention from page one and provided a perfect escapism exactly when I needed it.
We meet Sally Holt shortly before her idolized older sister dies. Tragic accident is a beginning of a bittersweet story of growing up with the burden of grief. It is not a happy book in any way, the struggles are endless and exhausting, the unraveling of family slow and unavoidable and yet I can't stop thinking about this story as an optimistic one. It reminded me of the TV Series Fleabag with how quirky, difficult but ultimately uplifting the storytelling was. It's a book that stands out in every possible way and I will re-read it frequently.
I wholeheartedly recommend it.
It feels very inappropriate to write this about book that relies heavily on the theme of grief but I had so much fun with it it was almost obscene. Normally I am not very into a character-driven stories but this one grabbed my attention from page one and provided a perfect escapism exactly when I needed it.
We meet Sally Holt shortly before her idolized older sister dies. Tragic accident is a beginning of a bittersweet story of growing up with the burden of grief. It is not a happy book in any way, the struggles are endless and exhausting, the unraveling of family slow and unavoidable and yet I can't stop thinking about this story as an optimistic one. It reminded me of the TV Series Fleabag with how quirky, difficult but ultimately uplifting the storytelling was. It's a book that stands out in every possible way and I will re-read it frequently.
I wholeheartedly recommend it.
April 4, 2022
Billy Barnes is swoon worthy and young Sally Holt loves listening to her older sister Kathy talk about him. Their fascination and secret devotion to Billy is a sweet and innocent part of their bond. As Sally prepares for eighth grade, Kathy begins dating Billy; a calm but memorable summer with long afternoons poolside ensues… until the morning Billy speeds down Main Street and slams into a tree to miss a deer. Billy is injured, Sally walks away unscathed, but Kathy dies instantly.
What follows is the touching story of life after the tragedy through Sally’s reflections - living with grief, regret, desire; emotions complicated by the large hole left behind by someone you love as you consider the trajectory of your life if only that one defining event hadn’t occurred.
Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance could’ve easily been a dark and depressing story but I found it to be touching and genuine with moments of unexpected beauty and humor. It’s a slow burn but that works wonderfully here as you savor Sally’s coming of age story told with a candor I appreciated.
A huge thanks for the physical ARC I received through a Goodreads giveaway! Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance is scheduled for release on May 17, 2022.
For more reviews, visit www.rootsandreads.wordpress.com
What follows is the touching story of life after the tragedy through Sally’s reflections - living with grief, regret, desire; emotions complicated by the large hole left behind by someone you love as you consider the trajectory of your life if only that one defining event hadn’t occurred.
Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance could’ve easily been a dark and depressing story but I found it to be touching and genuine with moments of unexpected beauty and humor. It’s a slow burn but that works wonderfully here as you savor Sally’s coming of age story told with a candor I appreciated.
A huge thanks for the physical ARC I received through a Goodreads giveaway! Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance is scheduled for release on May 17, 2022.
For more reviews, visit www.rootsandreads.wordpress.com
March 30, 2022
I, like most of you, are easily influenced by the reviews on our "bookstagram" site. A tiny little space on instagram for all of us to share our love (and hate) for books. Well, I kept seeing Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance, EVERYWHERE. So, in true "kori fashion", I could not let myself suffer from a case of "FOMO", so I put in my request for this incredible book.
I am SO grateful for bookstagram at the moment. Had I not have seen this book circulating, I would not have read it when I did.
This book is absolutely incredible. Mind blowing! Insane! Get the picture?
Also, look at this cover ! I was completely captivated and had to know what was inside.
I can not stop thinking about this book and I am sure it will stick with me for awhile. This is a true coming of age story that deals with grief, setbacks, tragedy, mystery and amongst all, family. Although this book is filled with heartbreak, there were also moments that I found myself giggling.
This is a book that can not go unread. Do not put it on your "to be read shelf" , just read the book.
You will thank me later....
Five Dazzling Stars!
I am SO grateful for bookstagram at the moment. Had I not have seen this book circulating, I would not have read it when I did.
This book is absolutely incredible. Mind blowing! Insane! Get the picture?
Also, look at this cover ! I was completely captivated and had to know what was inside.
I can not stop thinking about this book and I am sure it will stick with me for awhile. This is a true coming of age story that deals with grief, setbacks, tragedy, mystery and amongst all, family. Although this book is filled with heartbreak, there were also moments that I found myself giggling.
This is a book that can not go unread. Do not put it on your "to be read shelf" , just read the book.
You will thank me later....
Five Dazzling Stars!
May 17, 2022
3.45 ⭐ rounded up
This is a coming of age, grief driven story that spans over 15 years.
*please note ~ disappearance does not equal missing, so read the blurb, not just the title*
Told by Sally Holt as she recites all the good and bad times she and her sister, Kathy, had, and what Kathy has missed out on, by narrating as if she were speaking directly to her after her death.
I don't think I've ever read a book in this type of format before.
Sally and Kathy were a few years apart in age, but both still had googly eyes for Billy, the stud who works at the pool concession stand. Kathy and Billy eventually start seeing each other. Then one terrible mistake took Kathy's life. Although, Billy was at fault, Sally is still drawn to him. I didn't really care for what this leads to years down the road.
The parents understandly have a tough time in the days and years that come and their grief process was written well.
I am not opposed to crude language, but I don't like it when spoken by teenagers and there was an abundance.
This was a pretty long listen at 12 hours, 17 minutes and 19 seconds (sounded okay at 2x). Jesse Vilinsky did a good job narrating and keeping me engaged.
It was a bit slow going at times and I was ready to be done around 80%.
I was able to both listen and read the paperback.
*Thanks to Macmillan Audio USA, Alison Espach and NetGalley for the advance audiobook. I am voluntarily leaving my honest*
*Also, thanks to Henry Holt & Co for the ARC I received via a Goodreads giveaway*
More reviews here ➡ Heather Adores Books
This is a coming of age, grief driven story that spans over 15 years.
*please note ~ disappearance does not equal missing, so read the blurb, not just the title*
Told by Sally Holt as she recites all the good and bad times she and her sister, Kathy, had, and what Kathy has missed out on, by narrating as if she were speaking directly to her after her death.
I don't think I've ever read a book in this type of format before.
Sally and Kathy were a few years apart in age, but both still had googly eyes for Billy, the stud who works at the pool concession stand. Kathy and Billy eventually start seeing each other. Then one terrible mistake took Kathy's life. Although, Billy was at fault, Sally is still drawn to him. I didn't really care for what this leads to years down the road.
The parents understandly have a tough time in the days and years that come and their grief process was written well.
I am not opposed to crude language, but I don't like it when spoken by teenagers and there was an abundance.
This was a pretty long listen at 12 hours, 17 minutes and 19 seconds (sounded okay at 2x). Jesse Vilinsky did a good job narrating and keeping me engaged.
It was a bit slow going at times and I was ready to be done around 80%.
I was able to both listen and read the paperback.
*Thanks to Macmillan Audio USA, Alison Espach and NetGalley for the advance audiobook. I am voluntarily leaving my honest*
*Also, thanks to Henry Holt & Co for the ARC I received via a Goodreads giveaway*
More reviews here ➡ Heather Adores Books
November 23, 2021
I found myself enjoying this book more with each page. It is the story of a family, their lives centered around the daughter they lost. It is the story of the other daughter, the living child, who is grieving for her sister as well as the disruption of her family. She is especially engaging and as a reader, I really wanted her to be happy.
The sisters are connected by Billy, now Bill, the forbidden survivor. Kathy’s death is the center of the novel and the closure comes during the ironically named Hurricane Kathy.
This is a lovely novel. Thank you Netgalley.
The sisters are connected by Billy, now Bill, the forbidden survivor. Kathy’s death is the center of the novel and the closure comes during the ironically named Hurricane Kathy.
This is a lovely novel. Thank you Netgalley.
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