A propósito de nada

by Woody Allen, Eduardo Hojman (Translator)

The long-awaited, enormously entertaining memoir by one of the great artists of our time.

In this candid and often hilarious memoir, the celebrated director, comedian, writer, and actor offers a comprehensive, personal look at his tumultuous life. Beginning with his Brooklyn childhood and his stint as a writer for the Sid Caesar variety show in the early days of television, working alongside comedy greats, Allen tells of his difficult early days doing standup before he achieved recognition and success. With his unique storytelling pizzazz, he recounts his departure into moviemaking, with such slapstick comedies as Take the Money and Run, and revisits his entire 60-year-long and enormously productive career as a writer and director, from his classics Annie Hall, Manhattan, and Hannah and Her Sisters to his most recent films, including Midnight in Paris. Along the way, he discusses his marriages, his romances, and his famous friendships, his jazz playing, and his books and plays. We learn about his demons, his mistakes, his successes, and those he loved, worked with, and learned from in equal measure.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Memoir, Autobiography, Film, Humor, Audiobook

480 pages, Paperback

First published March 23, 2020

About the author

Noted American actor, screenwriter, and filmmaker Woody Allen, originally Allen Stewart Konigsberg explored the neuroses of the urban middle class in comedies of manners, such as Annie Hall (1977) and Deconstructing Harry (1997).

This director, jazz musician, and playwright thrice won Academy Award. His large body of work mixes satire, wit and humor in the most respected and prolific cerebral style in the modern era. Allen directs also in the majority of his movies. For inspiration, Allen draws heavily on literature, philosophy, psychology, Judaism, European cinema, and city of New York, where he lives.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woody_A...

Reviews

[Larry Singleton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eat a dick, Ronan!

UPDATE: Finished reading it and it's great. If you're a Woody Allen fan (and you're aware that Mia Farrow is most likely a crazy person who unfortunately abused Dylan for her own gains) you will love this. His writing is hilarious, and there's like a laugh on every page. At his age, Woody of course has way more than his 10,000 hours necessary to be considered a great. And it really shows: he's such a great, masterful writer. He could easily have been a novelist if he wanted to. I never got bored of reading this ONCE. I can only hope I have his energy when I get older.

There are both stories we've heard already/things covered in the Weide documentary (for example: the fact that he's really hard on himself artistically and dislikes some of his best works, his compartmentalization when it comes to not reading critics & focusing on the work itself, his relationships, etc), as well as Woody getting reflective in ways we've never heard before.

This book is a real treat for Woody fans. Enjoy!

UPDATE 2: I am not gonna respond to the misguided people that comment on this angrily. Woody is innocent. (BTW the reason I opened my review with that Ronan Farrow thing is because in 2020 he tried to censor Woody's book, which I found completely unacceptable — especially for a person who is considered to be some genius journalist or whatever).

I'll just leave this here: https://ronanfarrowletter.wordpress.c...

[Adam · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read a lot. I’ve not read anything so entertaining that’s had me laughing to tears like this for ages. Likely since childhood. I keep stopping to read passages aloud to my family who also react with laughter. It’s not just Woody Allen’s prose, which is masterful, it’s his honesty and his ability to describe anything, even a Minotaur-like lady handing a boy a pickle, with wit and descriptions that put you right there as if you’re experiencing it all yourself. As an added benefit I’m from New York City and grew up experiencing that dirty landscape in the 70s through the 90s so much of this is from my home planet. If you’re a Woody fan don’t even hesitate. If you’re on the fence you have nothing to lose. If you are not a fan of his there’s little hope for you anyway. Go read something else.

[María · Rating 5 out of 5]

Este libro ha sido como ver una (o varias) de las películas del propio Allen, una gozada de principio a fín a pesar de los momentos difíciles.

"Para mí es completamente irrelevante lo que ocurra con mi obra cuando yo no esté. Sospecho que después de mi muerte casi nada me pondrá nervioso [...] ¿ Es verdad que no me importa dejar un legado?...lo expresarė de la siguiente manera: más que vivir en los corazones y en la mente del público prefiero seguir viviendo en mi casa."

[Brynawel · Rating 1 out of 5]

The self-pitying hackwork of a guy who has less self-awareness than a dog licking his privates in public.

[L.S. Popovich · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a fan on Allen's large filmographic oeuvre, I felt compelled to read this autobio. I expected some apologetics for the tabloid-generating life of Woody Allen as acted, written, directed, edited, produced and narrated by Woody Allen. I didn't anticipate so much relentless name-dropping. At one point in the book he jeers at another celeb and calls him a shameless "name-dropper," then proceeds to name-drop 60-70 famous names per minute for 12 hours.

Tiresome. Long story short: think of every famous person you've ever heard of even remotely connected to the movie business. Woody Allen knew them.

Verged on a 2 star rating, but was thankful for the humor, wit, and reliable sarcasm, the jibes, the jabs, the prods, the quips, the goofs, the corny songs and dances sprinkled throughout.
Keep in mind that he previously wrote a likable collection of stories under the title The Insanity Defense. I remember laughing a lot. I remain of fan of the 53 films he's created so far, or at least the majority of them. Plenty of irksome moments in this book, and I cannot add stars or credit to my judgment of it because the films are better and more meaningful. The movies are separate works, and the book in question added little to my appreciation of them. The films display a wide range of human experience with memorable, heartfelt pathos and humor. The autobiography explains some personal details that were left out of the newspapers about this controversial auteur, but lacks the appeal of his greater art.

[Matthew Wilder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Young Allen Konigsberg did not grow up under a clattering rollercoaster. Though his dad descended on hard-ish times, Dad was the son of a posh haut-bourgeois Ashkenazi Jew, a cigar smoker who took cruises to London to hear the opera—one pictures a guy who looks like Max Ophuls when one hears of Grandpa Woody. Is it this somewhat spoiled and spoiling upbringing that gave Konigsberg the confidence, the hard-skating confidence that powers through the first half of this book, that got him to the point where he was sitting in a London casino with Team Casino Royale—Woody, Peter O’Toole, and David Niven, say—against Team Dirty Dozen, including Telly Savalas, Charles Bronson and John Cassavetes, in a nightly game of poker with $30,000 stakes?

Child Allen sees white telephone pictures—it is really Cukor’s HOLIDAY and THE PHILADELPHIA STORY Woody is referring to here. Martini shakers and blonde heads thrown back gaily in laughter and “What do you MEAN we’re not ‘legally’ married?”—the whole shimmering white silk screwballery of it all. This, says little Konigsberg, is what I want. And boy does he get it—did ever a show biz memoir describe such a cascade of unrelenting success? Woody had a magic touch that allowed and allows him to go on making whatever films he wants at any price, that made nightclub owners fall all over each other to hire him to do stand-up even when “they had to bring more potted plants in to make the room look full.” He know how to be wanted; and when one reads APROPOS against something like STAR, Peter Biskind’s account of the life and work of Warren Beatty...man, did Woody clock it better! Zeitgeisty stuff like SLEEPER and ANNIE HALL when the 70s demanded it; Neil Simonish fate like BULLETS OVER BROADWAY and MANHATTAN MURDER MYSTERY when Woody’s Soon-Yi scandal monopolized headlines and his reputation needed a scrub. (I am way in the minority in this; I find Woody’s 90s crowd pleasers deplorable. Give me HUSBANDS AND WIVES and DECONSTRUCTING HARRY any day.) In the 00s, needing a reboot, Woody discovered London, Barcelona, Paris, and made Lubitschian travelogues that soothed the bourgeois post-9-11 audience. His genius was to be smart but not overly brainy; to cut his O’Neill and Williams and Bergman aspirations with old-fashioned George S. Kaufman knowhow.

The first half of this memoir is pure delight, a quipster version of a Philip Roth bildungsroman, heavy on the sugar and one liners. Then, at the halfway point, Mia enters and—well, it’s as sad a falling-off as the post-intermission section of BARRY LYNDON. On the come from the get-go, Mia appeals to the self-destructive impulse in Woody. After decades of sex, how better to fuck up? He details a plainly incestuous relationship between Mia and Ronan, who also seems plainly to be Frank Sinatra’s kid—and notes that when Woody had finished playing sperm donor, Mia was done with him, wishing to move onward and upward to her neighbor, Mike Nichols—!!! PS—can one imagine, really, an early eighties Mia whose BFF was Stephen Sondheim?

If anyone believes Woody “did it,” will this book change their mind? I don’t know. I think most of the people clamoring for Woody’s head know full well that he didn’t do it...but he “fucked his stepdaughter” and “that’s bad enough.” Woody can vacillate about whether he was a father and whether Soon-Yi was a proper stepdaughter...Any simpleton can see that he was there for the frisson of an incest-y connection, not because Soon-Yi is a heck of a spunky girl and a real go getter and funny and a great cook and...oh, spare me. Do they now have a great marriage? Well, Soon-Yi has done admirably at playing the great man’s wife and no doubt relishing topping that mantle away from her abusive mother Mia. (Oh, and how come the media has made so little of Mia allowing one daughter to die alone of AIDS in a hospital bed, and of another disabled adoptee blowing his own head off with a shotgun? Do those stories not make Woody’s and his son Moses’ tales of Mia’s abusive brainwashing a lot more credible?)

But Woody wants to burnish his legacy. And admitting some ambiguity in the zone of his intentions re: teen Soon-Yi is not gonna make that happen, not while we are me-tooing and time’s-upping. The last half is almost unbearably painful: we can read between the lines. Woody wanted to self-destruct with a crazy woman—we see him do it earlier in Technicolor splendor with Louise Lasser (who apparently, in the Kennedy era, was a real dish). But shit, he didn’t want to end the world! The Woody/Ronan war is now possibly the largest Oedipal struggle the planet has ever known. Will our culture survive it? Will our culture survive? In the meantime, read APROPOS OF NOTHING, product of a once in a century talent and, more often than not, a transporter, like that jalopy that captured Owen Wilson, into another, better world—a MOVABLE FEAST for Generation Corona.

[Violeta · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kafka would have laughed

I’m not the one saying this, Woody Allen does, at some point in his memoir when he talks about his professional condemnation and social and legal persecution. Too bad that this part of the book has stayed with me the most, a couple of days after finishing the audio version of it, aptly narrated by the author. But I’m working on it: yesterday I re-watched Annie Hall and I have no intention of staying away from this man’s favorite films of mine just because a lot of ugly things have been said and done in this unfortunate family saga of his. Yes, he did an ugly thing himself but I’m convinced, along with the court and official investigators, not the monstrosities he’s been accused of. I confess that maybe I wouldn’t have paid much attention to his autobiography if I hadn’t read somewhere that a big publishing house refused to accept it and that it was a struggle for him to find a publisher for his work. He, who for the most part of his life had people coming to him, asking for a collaboration, he who helped so many build a career of their own. But…that’s life (and here’s where Kafka is laughing) and that’s life in show biz in particular: a less-than-perfect-world that never fails to amaze and take by surprise those that are naïve, starry-eyed, credulous enough to believe there might be a benevolent world out there.

At 85, Mr Allen shows a genuine amazement at the fact that there isn’t, which is consistent with his hyper- sensitive nature and at odds with his skeptical, world-weary side. I found it moving but at times couldn’t resist thinking “well, you should have known better, did you expect that there would be no cost for all that came your way? ” A petty thought, I know, but aren’t we all a bag of mixed, often contradicting feelings and opinions that come to the surface having often escaped our conscious struggle of control and reasoning? I think that Mr Allen would be the first to agree with this, given that that’s what has made his characters, his screen stories, his jokes and his attempts into drama so appealing and amusing and profound in all the years of his extremely prolific career. Funny, he still echoes the star-struck kid who, while growing up in Brooklyn, was gazing at the skyscrapers on the other side of the river, dreaming of one day conquering the big city and its people. And conquer them he did, along with the rest of the world, because people obviously found something of themselves in his movies. All those who did find something (or got something from him) should give him the benefit of the doubt; and by listening to what he has to say, not participate in the witch hunt that has been launched in recent years not only against this man but against anyone who’s deemed at some point as the “enemy” in the arena of the social networks and the press and is being denounced with summary procedures by the mob. A practice that has always been not only questionable but outright dangerous.

For anyone interested, here’s his own view on his massive excoriation of recent years:
I must say, it amazed me how many in my profession caved in like dominoes. Perhaps it was personal conviction or perhaps out of fear or a chance to grab a moment to bask in what seems like a safe, no-risks stand of a politically correct issue… I was very aware of Lillian Hellman refer to a scoundrel time (the McCarthy era) when so many frightened or opportunistic men and women behaved badly. I bring that up only because any number of actors, show-people and various friends of mine said to me privately how appalled they were by the unjust publicity I was receiving but, when asked why they didn’t speak out and say something, they all admitted they feared professional repercussions. I thought that was ironic as that was the exact reason women gave for not speaking up over the years for their various harasses: that their careers would suffer. For some the details of the whole affair were vague and not at all interesting but they heard that not working with me had become the thing to do, like everyone suddenly being into kale.

Here’s my theory and, mind you, it’s only my take on matters, say what you think , he says about his relationship with Mia Farrow but that's also the overall tone of the book.
As a narrator I found him to be fair, respectful, kind, a bit vain, witty, sometimes modest, at others overconfident and a bit tiring with all the names he(rightfully) reiterates; but all the while arresting enough to keep me listening.

Of the eight chapters in the book the first two where he talks about his childhood and adulthood were absolutely delightful and the next three were perfect for film buffs but maybe they would be tiring for those less-interested in the movie-business. Chapter six was where all the ugliness with Mia Farrow and the accusations for child-molestation were described. I admit I skipped it mid-way, feeling very sorry for their kids and aghast by the fury people sometimes turn against each other with, blind to the harm caused to all those involved in the fighting. I wish he hadn’t devoted so much space to it but I respect his will to defend himself. I (half)listened to it keeping in mind that there are always two sides in every story. I was also reminded of how celebrities have a way to live and operate seemingly out of the limits that apply to ordinary people, feeling grateful for my middle-class, measured existence, however bourgeois this may sound. Chapter seven was…restorative, in describing a happy life with Soon-Yi, his wife of 25 years and the person at the root of the scandal, as well as the making of his later movies, some of which were real gems. Chapter eight should have made for a fine last-act but the ugliness returned and this time it was unfair, in my opinion.

All in all, this book is a pleasant read for anyone interested in films and their making, the creative process in general, this man’s thoughts on mortality, the meaning of life (or lack thereof), psychoanalysis, jazz, New York and Hollywood of a bygone era, witty humor and the very honest, heartfelt attempt of someone who, fully conscious that he’s near the end, wants to make a narrative out of his life. Subjective? A bit beautifying? Of course! Who wouldn’t be? It’s his take after all and he has the right to say the story in a way that makes sense to him, justifies his actions, and helps him make peace with himself. And that’s the best thing we could all wish for ourselves and for each other, celebrities or not.

All I can say is I did the best I could, folks. If the films are not better it’s no one’s fault but my own. I had complete freedom to do any project I chose within a given budget and total artistic control

The celluloid world was what I learned. The larger than life, the superficial, the falsely glamorous. But I do not regret a frame of it…. When asked which character in my films is the most like me on the screen, you only have to look at Cecilia in “Purple Rose of Cairo”.

[Katherine Perros · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished and loved it! Highly recommend - had me laughing aloud. He's very hard on himself and his work but what would life be like without his wonderful films! Where did all the funny go in these crazy times? Cancel culture cannot cancel this man's brilliance. Can't believe he's 84.

[Sean · Rating 4 out of 5]

I might never have gotten around to reading this if not for a bunch of self-righteous yahoos making a stink out of cancelling its publication. Don't want me to read this? Got it. Consider it read.

And hey! It's kinda great. Woody Allen is Woody Allen throughout--he doesn't give a damn what anybody thinks about him or his movies, and he's by far his own worst critic. He likes maybe five of his movies, and laments never having made a great one. Plus the one-liners never stop, if you like that sort of thing. He manages to say something about all 900 of his movies, often very little, but to him it's the making of the movie that interests him. Nothing else. Once done, he doesn't watch any of them ever again. He doesn't do test screenings because, as he puts it, he's not interested in collaborating with an audience on his films. In terms of film-making, his method is remarkably pure. He's made a lot of so-so to not so good movies, but he's too hard on himself--his great movies are great.

He also devotes a lot of space to The Allegation, disproven years ago after multiple investigations, but brought back to life by the Farrows in the MeToo era. Knowing anything about the details of the case renders it impossible to assume Allen is guilty. Quite the opposite, I've long found. His recounting here makes it seem that much more appalling--in terms of what the Farrows have done and continue to do.

His marriage to Soon-Yi he decribes at length, and they couldn't sound happier. Of course the way Woody describes all the women he's been involved with and lusted after during his life is not how anyone image-conscious would describe them, hence his being called "tone-deaf" and "un-self aware" in the reviews by people who believe he's evil. But he's just Woody Allen. He's a weird guy, as he's the first to admit, and often, in this book. Does that make him evil? Or just weird? Well, people like throwing stones at weirdos with glasses, ever thus.

[ALLEN · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this long-awaited book a lot, but I did not love it. On the plus side, we hear about most of Woody Allen's highly accomplished life and most of the many people he has worked with along the way, including Diane Keaton, Susan Morse, Dick Cavett, Mariel Hemingway, Sam Waterston, Tony Roberts, Carla Bruni (Mme. Nicolas Sarkozy), Cate Blanchette, Sean Penn and so many others -- all in Allen's signature prose style and with his signature humor.

On the other hand, there are some key omissions in what is styled an "autobiography," such as the 1986 movie Radio Days, which rates only one oblique mention (the mother's overcoat dyed with a chemistry set). This is probably Allen's most autobiographical movie, one of the most expensive to produce, and chock-full of swing-era music, yet while Hannah and Her Sisters is so fully discussed, Radio Days might almost not have been made. For that reason, there's no mention of the latter film's wonderful cast, which included Mercedes Ruehl, Kenneth Mars, Michael Tucker, Julie Kavner and a young Seth Green (Dianne Wiest is only mentioned indirectly). For that matter, why no mention of the late Jerry Orbach's excellent work in Crimes and Misdemeanors?

Who doesn't get omitted? Mia Farrow. Good Lord, Mia Farrow. I mean, the amount of space he gives Farrow over the whole custody issue is so excessive, and I say that as someone firmly on Allen's side. He discusses Farrow about halfway through this book -- digs the subject up later -- and then a third time. Each time I found myself wanting to read more about his films instead.

[Ana Cristina Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Creo que si he leído una autobiografía en la que al final tienes la sensación de conocer bien al autor, sería esta. Woody Allen es sincero cuando habla de su vida y, de hecho, ese es el tema de toda su obra, una especie de autobiografía intermitente y continua.

Por eso, muchas de las cosas que relata aquí suenan ya conocidas, como sus traumas de infancia, su niñez en una familia judía de Brooklyn o sus desventuras amorosas. Todo eso es de dominio público, como también lo es el gran escándalo causado por las acusaciones de haber abusado de su hija Dylan, quizá la razón de que haya escrito esta detallada relación de su vida, para relatar su versión de la historia – que a mí me resulta bastante verosímil.

Me ha gustado leer sobre su trayectoria creativa y cómo desde los 15 años se ha ganado la vida escribiendo ya que se siente primordialmente escritor, antes que cineasta:

Me considero fundamentalmente escritor, y eso es una bendición, porque un escritor nunca depende de que lo contraten para trabajar, sino que genera su propio trabajo y elige su horario.

También es interesante su relación con la popularidad y cómo explica que su motivación no es la fama, ni la posteridad, sino hacer películas porque es lo que sabe hacer y le gusta:

Y, en serio, ¿es verdad que no me interesa dejar un legado? Ya me han citado antes al respecto, de modo que lo expresaré de la siguiente manera: más que vivir en los corazones y en las mentes del público, prefiero seguir viviendo en mi casa.

Creo que Woody Allen es uno de los creadores más interesantes del siglo XX, ya que de alguna manera ha convertido en arte el ser ‘diferente’ y ha logrado que las masas se interesen por una personalidad que se aparta de todos los patrones deseables socialmente. Sólo por eso ya vale la pena leer su biografía. Y escribe como los ángeles. Una cosa negativa: hay montones de nombres que desconozco, sobre todo del show-business de la época, y hay trozos que se me han hecho algo pesados.

En conjunto, una autobiografía brillante – sobre todo si te gustan sus películas.

[david · Rating 5 out of 5]

A global plague with no end in sight.

What to do? What to do?

A new book by the eighty-four-year-old comic, actor, director, clarinetist, writer?

Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Woody, I imagine that you do not occasion this site, but if you should, I want to whisper something to you. What? Your hearing is all fimished because you are an old-timer? Come closer. Oh wait, not allowed. If you are six feet away from me, I will have to scream. But this is something personal and shouting is not becoming.

Heck with it. I love you, Woody. I do.

This alte-kaker wrote the best memoir this reader has read. “Evah,” as they pronounce it where you live.

Stunning.

Honest, risible, serious, troublesome, philosophical, literary. Courageous.

We both know that many, most people will inaccurately judge you by third party reports. Horribly unfair to the individual although very human. We both understand the meaning of the word 'schadenfreude.' I am on your side and everything you wrote rings true.

Achingly authentic. So much so that I think even the kindle edition could earn the ‘kosher’ imprimatur. Who knows? Virtual Pesach is just around the corner. (honey, can you pass the taglach thru the laptop?)

(I was just thinking about that book with Henk, the fabricated protagonist in the nursing home from the Netherlands. The writer made his character the same age as you.)

I loved Annie Hall. I loved Hannah and Her Sisters. Husbands and Wives. Midnight in Paris. Café Society. I enjoyed most of your movies.

And this book is so good I do not think I have the words to express it during this current weltshmerz we are all experiencing.

Thank you for sharing your story as only a reflective, sensible, astute octogenarian occasionally does.

And very funny.

America, home of the free and liberated? Nah. No one will release your latest movie here even though it is popular now in Spain, France. I understand and disagree. Europe still needs and adores you.

https://forward.com/culture/444212/sh...

Ten stars.

[Takisx · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ο Κύριος Γούντι ειναι εσαει παρών. Έφτασε στα 84 και δεν τον νοιάζει η αθανασία στις ψυχές των ανθρωπων, οσο το να μείνει αθάνατος στο υπέροχο δωμάτιο του. Τι τα θες όμως, δεν γίνονται αυτά τα πράγματα, όπως δεν γίνεται να αλλάξουμε παρελθόν. Το προσπαθεί ομως με τον γνωστό του τρόπο, τον μοναδικό τρόπο που ξέρει, τον κόσμο του χιούμορ.

Μας μιλάει για τα παιδικά του χρόνια, ποιος ήταν, που βρέθηκε, αυτός ο μικρός εβραϊακος, που το όνειρο του ήταν να γίνει ο Τενεσί Ουίλιαμς, και με τον τρόπο του έγινε, γράφοντας αστεια, και χωρίς να καταλάβει, αρχισε να γυριζει την μια ταινία πίσω απο την άλλη.

Αυτό που σου προκαλεί εντύπωση, ειναι η έλλειψη καθε προσποιητής πόζας:είναι σαν να μάς λέει, εντάξει παιδιά, δεν είμαι και κάτι τρομερό, αλλά αν σας βολεύει αυτό, είμαι.
Ως που μπ��ίνει στη ζωη του η Μία Φαροου, κι ολα ανατρεπονται,όπως ανατρεπεται και η φύση της αδαμαστης βιβλιοφιλίας μας, αφου λίγο πριν απο την μέση του βιβλίου αρχίζει και παιρνει μπρος το σκανδαλοθηρικο του πραγματος, κι κάπου αρχίζει η νύστα, γιατί πραγματικά δεν δίνω δεκάρα αν είναι η δεν είναι μουρλή η Μια, κι αν ηταν παιδεραστής, που δεν ηταν, κι αν ερωτεύτηκε με παθος την κόρη του, που δεν ήταν ακριβώς κόρη του

Κι αρχίζει ενα λεκτικό νομικό μπλέξιμο ανευ προηγούμενου, που μπορεί να διαρκεί και 150 σελίδες, και που σου μπαίνουν οι μαύρες υποψίες πως όλα γραφτηκαν για να
έχουμε την φτηνή δικαιολογία πως διαβάσαμε την αυτό βιογραφία του Κυρίου Γούντι, αλλά τι να κάνουμε, είναι σαν να σου λεει,
κυρ αναγνώστη, η αλήθεια δεν είναι κοινόχρηστη ιδέα, είναι προσωπική υπόθεση, και στο κάτω κατω, θες και λίγο κλειδαροτρυπα, τι μονο σουξέ και φράγκα, δεν λέει, βέβαια κάποια στιγμή ξεθυμαινει κι αφού η αλήθεια στα δικά του μάτια από καθίσταται, ξαναγυρναει στο φιλμικο του σύμπαν, με οχι πολλές εξάρσεις, αλλά με την βεβαιότητα, ότι μπορεί να μην έγινε Μπεργκμαν, αλλά γύρισε κάποιες ταινίες που μέσα στο χρόνο τον κανουν, αν οχι να νιώθει περήφανος, τουλάχιστον να νιώθει τυχερός. Κι αυτό δεν είναι και λίγο.

Άλλωστε το είπε υπέροχα παλιότερα :καλύτερα να είσαι τυχερός, παρά καλός.

[Chris · Rating 1 out of 5]

the only book i will rate one star without reading

[. . . _ _ _ . . . · Rating 4 out of 5]

Έπαιζα πολύ κοντά στο 3αρι , γιατί ως γνήσιος φαν του Γούντι Άλεν , τα είχα ήδη διαβάσει και καλύτερα στο "Ο Γούντι Άλεν για τον Γούντι Άλεν" , σε εξαίσιες-και υπεραναλυτικές για κάθε μία ταινία χωριστά- συνεντεύξεις στον Stig Björkman και σε πολύ καλή μετάφραση της Πόλυς Λυκούργου (εκδόσεις Μεταίχμιο, αμφιβάλλω όμως αν το βρείτε εκεί έξω να κυκλοφορεί ακόμη). Και όχι μόνο αυτό : ένα πολύ μεγάλο μέρος του βιβλίου ήταν ένα βαρετό name dropping και όπως εύστοχα παρατηρεί μια κριτική εδώ, ο Γούντι κατηγορεί άλλον για name dropper...
Γιατί όμως 4αρι ; Γιατί ας μη κρυβόμαστε, το βιβλίο είναι-κυρίως-μια τεράστια απολογία που δεν δόθηκε ποτέ. Γιατί guess what, ο Γούντι δεν πήγε καν σε δίκη. Είναι συγκλονιστικά τα στοιχεία που παραθέτει και τα περισσότερα you can't make these things up : ΤΡΙΑ υιοθετημένα παιδιά της Μία Φάροου αυτοκτόνησαν-δείτε λίγο το τουίτερ ακάουντ του Μόζες Φάροου,ο μόνος από τα υιοθετημένα παιδιά της τρελής που τον πίστεψε. Είναι απίστευτη η στρεψοδικία σε αυτή την ιστορία, οι χειρισμοί, η κακοποίηση των παιδιών από τη Μία Φάροου (περήφανα λέω ότι με έχει κάνει μπλοκ πριν πολλά,πολλά χρόνια πριν τους ζαίους) κλασσική περίπτωση δικομανούς "μανούλας" . Και όμως στη συνείδηση του κόσμου ο Γούντι είναι ένα παιδόφιλο τέρας, αλλά στην εποχή των Μυτούδων αυτά είναι λεπτομέρειες. Η άλλη εδώ βαθμολογεί με ένα αστεράκι το βιβλίο χωρίς να το έχει διαβάσει. Βέβαια Σαλαμέδες και Ρεμπέκες Χολ επιστρέφουν την αμοιβή τους από τις ταινίες στις οποίες είχαν παίξει στην προσπάθεια τους να γίνουν αρεστοί. Ο Γούντι γράφει στο βιβλίο πως ο πρώτος είχε πει στην αδερφή του (του Γούντι) ότι πιέστηκε να το κάνει για να μην βλάψει τις oscar chances που είχε για το Call me by your name...και hell yeah τον πιστεύω...Η Ρεμπέκα Χολ έπαιξε σε ΔΥΟ ταινίες του. Πότε ακριβώς πήρε πρέφα τις 30 (και) ετών καταγγελίες της Μία και ξαφνικά την έπιασαν οι ευαισθησίες της ; (Η μακαρίτισσα η μάνα μου που πέθανε πριν 20 χρόνια-άρα τα περιστατικά είναι ακόμη πιο παλιά-αν είχε ταινία του Γούντι με έπαιρνε τηλέφωνο και έλεγε "έχει τον ανώμαλο που σ' αρέσει στην τηλεόραση"- α ρε μάνα, η τελευταία ανάμνηση που έχω από τη μάνα μου να βλέπουμε μαζί στη ΝΕΤ μια ταινία του Γούντι 3 μέρες πριν πεθάνει, και δεν θυμάμαι καν ποια ταινία ήταν...). Ο Γούντι προφανώς και έχει τα θέματα του, σε μια παράγραφο ξεπετάει πως μετά την σχέση του με την Νταϊαν Κίτον (γνωστή καψούρα και συνεργάτης του με την οποία έμειναν φίλοι) έκανε σχέση κατόπιν (διαδοχικά έστω) ΚΑΙ με τις ΔΥΟ αδερφές της. Σε παρόμοια περίπτωση εδώ με ΜΙΑ αδερφή είχαμε φόνο και δίκη στο Μικτό Ορκωτό Εφετείο, εκεί πολύ Σουηδία...Δεν έχω πρόθεση να υπερασπιστώ κανένα Γούντι. Προφανώς υπάρχουν ΗΘΙΚΑ (και μόνο) θέματα να έχεις σχέση με την υιοθετημένη (οριακά έστω) ενήλικη κόρη της συντρόφου σου. Ο άνθρωπος όμως εξετάστηκε διεξοδικά από ανεξάρτητες αρχές κοινωνικών λειτουργών και ψυχιάτρων (όπως και τα "θύματα" του) και κατέληξαν αρνητικά. Ουδέποτε οδηγήθηκε σε δίκη με αυτές τις κατηγορίες. Αλλά στην εποχή των Μυτούδων (το θεωρώ μακράν το πιο φασιστικό κίνημα του καιρού μας, σταυρώστε με ελεύθερα στα σχόλια, ή έστω αν θέλετε, μαζί με τα ξερά καίγονται και τα χλωρά) που αρκεί να φωνάξεις "λύκος" για να σου κάνει λάικ στο ινσταγκραμ η Συνατσάκη και ο Μουτσινάς ...Για όλους αυτούς τους λόγους, ένα 4αρι...
Κατά τα άλλα αν δεν έχετε διαβάσει το βιβλίο που αναφέρω και είστε φαν, σαφώς και θα σας ενδιαφέρει αυτό το βιβλίο. Από την άλλη αν είστε Φεμινάζι, η Ζέτα Δούκα (για την οποία όμως έχω να πω μόνο τα καλύτερα, από φίλο ηθοποιό που μου είπε ότι αυτή και η Μπέσυ Μάλφα που έπαιζαν μαζί σε μια σειρά υποστήριξαν τους "μικρούς" ηθοποιούς κόντρα στον πρωταγωνιστή της σειράς) κατήγγειλε σήμερα τον Κιμούλη που της έριξε μια κλωτσιά. Μετά από 14 χρόνια. Μπορείτε να κάνετε λάικ...Έτσι δεν δικάζουμε πλέον;

[Miss Ravi · Rating 3 out of 5]

می‌گه بزرگ‌ترین حسرتش توی زندگی اینه که با وجود صرف وقت و میلیون‌ها دلار پول نتونسته فیلم بزرگی بسازه. دلش می‌خواسته یه فیلمی شبیه آثار برگمان توی کارنامه‌ش می‌بود و با اینکه چند بار به شیوه‌های‌ مختلف این رو امتحان کرده، موفق نشده. جاودانه شدن اسم و آثارش هیچ اهمیتی براش نداره چون هیچ‌کدوم نمی‌تونه وحشت مرگ رو از بین ببره. و اصولاً سرگرم کردن خودش با کمدی و سینما واسه اینه که به ناخوشایندی مرگ و تلخ بودن دنیا فکر نکنه.
من خیلی دلم می‌خواست که ماجرای ساختن فیلم‌هاش رو این‌قدر خلاصه تعریف نکنه و به اسم بردن از بازیگرهایی که توی هر فیلمش بازی کردن، بسنده نکنه. دلم می‌خواست قصه هر فیلمش رو تعریف می‌کرد. پشت صحنه‌ یا یه لحظه خاص و جذاب و یا داستان پشت داستان‌هاش رو. مثلاً این‌که اسم فیلم آنی هال از کجا اومده رو می‌گه، البته کوتاه و خلاصه. چیزهای این‌جوری برام خیلی جالب‌تره تا این‌که حجم زیادی از کتاب رو بذاره برای تعریف کردن حاشیه دادگاهش یا اثبات اینکه میا فارو چه هیولای ترسناکیه. آخر کتاب خودش هم عذرخواهی کرده که این‌قدر در این مورد توضیح داده و نوشته. البته یه چیزی که از خلال همین توضیح دادن‌هاش می‌شه فهمید اینه که با وجود اذیت شدنش، حتی قطع همکاری باهاش از طرف استودیوهای بزرگ و پشت کردن بازیگرها بهش، وقتی درباره خود میا فارو حرف می‌زنه بازم تحسینش می‌کنه. می‌گه چقدر بازیش رو توی فیلم رز ارغوانی قاهره دوست داره یا چقدر خوب می‌تونه توی نقش‌های مختلف خودش رو نشون بده. وودی آلن برخلاف خیلی از هنرمندها بی‌ادعاست. وقتی می‌گه من ابله و بی‌سوادم در حال تواضع نیست و داره واقعاً نظرش رو درباره خودش می‌گه. می‌گه از تکنیک‌های فیلم‌سازی فقط همین رو بلدم که قبل از شروع فیلمبرداری باید دریچه لنز دوربین رو برداشت. از اون آدم‌هاست که اگه -برفرض محال برای ما- بتونیم ببینیمش حرف زدن باهاش واسه این سخت نیست که آدم پرطمطراق و گوشت‌تلخ و پرمدعاییه. واسه این سخته که از آدم‌ها خوشش نمیاد و میلی به حرف زدن با کسی نداره.

[James Banks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant.witty.insightful.

If you are a fan , you will enjoy and sympathize. If you are not, move on with your life. I am and always will be a fan. Thank you Woody for your body of work.

[Daniel · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn't finish it. The way he talks about and treats women is gross. He used to be a hero of mine.

[Jonathan Landau · Rating 5 out of 5]

Engrossing:

A sly, intelligent and, I believe, honestly observed account of Mr. Allen's life and his amazing creations--his films. He inevitably spends time on his personal controversy and writes about it with understated directness.

[David Jay · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can't help but be fascinated by Woody Allen. He was iconic in my Brooklyn Jewish childhood. Between "Annie Hall" in 1977 and "Bullets Over Broadway" in 1994 he made some of my most loved movies. Yet I also think he sounds like an awful person. Even his own account, which I was interested enough to read but not interested enough to pay for (thank you, NYPL!), he sounds like a creep.

Lets leave out everything that he was accused of regarding molesting his daughter. By his own account in this book, he cheated on his girlfriend of 13 years with her college aged daughter (and though he was never her step-father, he was her mother's significant other from the time she was a little girl). He sued his best friend. He recounts pursuing at least two women who were in their teens at the time (he was in his 40s); he says that when he met teenaged Scarlett Johansson he thought she was 'sexually radioactive.' He mentions multiple times how ugly he thought his mother was; in fact almost every time he mentions a woman he assesses her based on her looks.

Disappointing on many levels, though not surprising, the biggest takeaway for me was how little insight Allen seems able to provide about his amazing work as a director and writer. No self-awareness on any level.

Interesting to read, but really strange.

[Dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Too bad it took false accusations for Woody Allen to finally write his autobiography. It is a treat to get to spend time with his memories, anecdotes, musings, and details about his life and work. Every film he made is mentioned and every woman he has ever loved is written about with no holds barred. Allen gives us plenty of insights into his relationships with Mia Farrow and his wife Soon-Yi to hopefully settle the score on that mess. In the end, we may sadly never get to see a new Woody Allen film again in the U.S. but this book allows us to hear from him one last time and doing so is a complete treasure.

[Curtis Chastain · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny and a quick read during quarantine.

[Robin Lyons · Rating 5 out of 5]

Admire Woody Allen even more after reading this

What an interesting, funny book with one sad sad part-but that is described so clearly and with no self pity.
I haven’t seen a great many of Woody Allen’s movies, maybe 7 or 8, but I intend now after reading his funny erudite account of his life and works to watch my way through his filmography.

I started tonight with Annie Hall which I first saw in the 80s (though in the late 70s wore fashion related to Diane Keaton’s wardrobe). Such great feeling and humour, also beautiful surroundings.

Shame, Amazon, that you’ve acted on blatant lies against Woody Allen.

[صان · Rating 5 out of 5]

از دو زاویه می‌خوام به کتاب نگاه کنم.

یک: کلیات کتاب، به جز قسمت‌های راجع به اتهام رابطه‌ی جنسی‌اش.
دو: قسمت اتهام رابطه جنسی.

ولی می‌خوام با بخش دوم شروع کنم :)) چون برای خودمم جدید بود و روحمم خبر نداشت از این همه اتفاق که براش افتاده.

اگر مثل من نبوده باشید و خبردار بوده باشید، وودی آلن به تجاوز به فرزند خونده ۷ ساله‌اش متهم می‌شه. در دهه ۹۰. اون زمان با میافارو رابطه داشته و اون بچه هم فرزندخونده‌ی میافارو بوده.
توی این کتاب پره از دلایل و اثبات‌ها بر عدم گناهکاری وودی آلن. البته انتظار دیگه‌ای هم نمی‌ره، ولی برای من قانع‌کننده به نظر میاد. دادگاه و پلیس و مرکز مربوط به کودک‌آزاری ماه‌ها تحقیقات می‌کنن و تهش می‌گن که به نظر نمیاد چنین تجاوزی رخ داده باشه و وودی‌الن تبرعه می‌شه. این باید کافی باشه، ولی باز هم ته دلم یه جوریه. تمام حرف‌هایی که وودی آلن توی این کتاب می‌زنه به نفع خودشه، از دیوانگی‌های میافارو، از ادعاهای روان‌شناس‌های اون دختر و موسا، پسرخونده‌ی دیگه‌ش از سابقه‌ی تنبیه‌های سنگینی که میافارو به سر فرزندخونده‌هاش میورده. همه‌ی اینا به نفع وودی‌آلنه. ولی تهش وودی‌آلنه که داره اینارو میگه و من در جریان خیلی از حرف‌هایی که در جهان زده شده راجع به این موضوع نبودم. یه جا می‌گه تیموتی شالام؟ شالامون؟ همون پسر لاغره در حضور وودی آلن ازش معذرت خواهی کرده بابت این که در رسانه‌ها گفته پشیمونه که باهاش کار کرده و این کارو کرده که توی بلک لیست اسکار و اینا نره و بتونه توی فیلم کال می بای یور نیم جایزه بگیره. این خیلی حرف بدون مدرکیه و میتونه حقیقت داشته باشه یا نداشته باشه و تنها گواه دقیق این بحث اینه که دادگاه درنهایت رای به مجرم بودن آلن نداده. تنها فکت اینه. نمی‌دونم توی این رای دادگاه هم مسئله‌ای هست یا نه. تنها امیدوارم که نباشه و واقعا حق با آلن باشه و چنین کاری نکرده باشه. و تمام مدارکی که در این کتاب ازش حرف می‌زنه حقیقت داشته باشه و یه پیرنگ حرفه‌ای نوشته‌شده نباشه.

اما بخش اول.
این کتاب به شدت جذاب و خوش‌خون و جالب بود. من تقریبا اکثر فیلم‌هاش رو دیده‌ام و برای همین از هر فیلمی حرف می‌زد می‌دونستم داره از چه حال و هوایی حرف می‌زنه و لذت خوندنش رو دوچندان کرده بود. از طرفی کتاب پره از اسم‌ها و آدم‌های معروف مختلف که خیلی‌هاشم نمی‌شناسم، ولی مسئله‌ای نبود برای من.
عادت‌ها و اخلاقش در فیلم‌سازی و جهان‌بینیش رو خیلی موافق بودم. این که حوصله تمرین و کارهای طولانی در فیلم‌‌سازی رو نداشته، همه‌ی اینا خیلی واقعی و درست بود. نمی‌تونی فیلم‌سازی برات مهم‌ترین چیز دنیا باشه و مهم‌ترین فیلم شوخی دنیا رو بسازی. البته از نظر من. این دید شوخی دیدن و پوچ دیدن همه چیز رو خیلی می‌پسندم شخصا. این که با همه چیز شوخی کنی و جدی نگیری. یه جاهایی می‌گفت کتاب می‌خوندم، چون دخترهای خوشگل هم‌دوره‌ی من از پسرهای کتابخون خوششون میومد. این که رک بیاد این حرفو بزنه به نظرم خیلی جسارت خوبیه. مگه ته تهش، رانه‌های روانی کارهای ما هم همین نیست؟ البته در صورتی با من موافقین که با تکامل و اینجور حرف‌های روانشناسی موافق باشید. اگر نیستید هم حتما این کتاب خیلی خسته‌کننده و مسخره به نظرتون خواهد اومد.
اگر به دنبال تکنینک‌های سینمایی، پندهای کاری و اینجور چیزها هستید، این کتاب هیچی نداره. خودش اعتراف میکنه که واقعا چیزی از سینما سرش نمیشه و فقط کاری رو میکنه که به نظر درسته. شهود. برای همین توی این کتاب فقط تاریخش رو میخونیم. نه روش‌های موفقیتش رو، و دوره‌ای که زندگی کرده رو می‌چشیم. خیلی خوب و طنز هم نوشته همه چیز رو و وقتی فهمیدم که یک نسخه‌ی صوتی هم از کتاب هست که دیگه واویلا شدم. البته چون انگلیسیه و فهمیدنش برام سخت بود من همین کتاب رو خوندم، ولی می‌تونید با زبان خودش این کتاب رو بشنوید. لینکشو هم همینجا می‌ذارم.

Link

این کتاب ۲۰۲۰ منتشر شده و به سختی هم ناشر برای چاپ پیدا کرده، چون در جهان امروز خیلیا آلن رو کنسل کردن و حاضر نیستن باهاش کار کنن. توی فیلم‌های اخیرش هم خیلی با پیدا کردن بازیگر مشکل داشته و کلا هم فیلم‌هاش توی سالن‌های آمریکا پخش نشدن. نمی‌تونم قضاوت کنم. اما این کتاب و حرف‌هایی که می‌زنه منطق رو می‌بره به سمت این که آلن گناهکار نبوده. نمی‌خوام بگم که توی ذهنم بی‌گناهه، ولی توی ذهنم به سمت بی‌گناهیه. حرف‌هاش قانع‌کننده‌س. ولی هیچوقت نمی‌دونیم و هیچوقت نخواهیم دونست. ولی اگر همه‌ی حرفاش راست باشه، واقعا بدشانسی اورده. بدشانسی‌ای بزرگ، دربرابر تمام خوش‌شانسی‌های زندگی حرفه‌ایش که به قول خودش تمام علت موفقیت کاریش تا به حال بوده.

[Boris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Интересна, забавна, лека и пълна с неочаквани лафове и шеги автобиография. Нямаше нито едно тъпо изречение, нито един изтъркан лаф и нито за секунда не ми стана скучно и протяжно. Страхотна книга. Чувствах се страшно добре всеки път след като прочета нова част от нея и ми е жалко, че вече приключи. Със сигурност пак ще си я чета или слушам, когато искам да ми стане леко и приятно.

[Rêbwar Kurd · Rating 5 out of 5]

بروکلین دهه ۱۹۴۰، یک محله پرجنب‌وجوش، صدای ترومپت‌ها و صدای بچه‌هایی که از کوچه‌ها می‌دوند، و یک پسر کوچک که به جای بازی با توپ، به سکوت و کنجکاوی‌های ذهنش پناه می‌برد؛ این تصویر همان نقطه آغاز است برای وودی آلن، مردی که بعدها تبدیل شد به صدای طنز تلخ و هوشمندانه‌ای از دنیای مدرن. «بیخود و بی‌جهت» نه فقط یک زندگی‌نامه، بلکه دریچه‌ای است به درون ذهن کسی که همیشه با شوخ‌طبعی، اما بی‌رحمانه واقعیات زندگی را می‌بیند و روایت می‌کند. این کتاب می‌گذارد وارد ذهن او شوی، جایی که خاطرات کودکی، اضطراب‌های خفیف و بزرگ، موفقیت‌های هنری و روابط پیچیده با مردم و جهان، همه و همه در کنار هم قرار می‌گیرند و تصویری کامل و انسانی از او ارائه می‌دهند.

آلن از همان کودکی در خانواده‌ای کم‌درآمد اما پر از حرف و کنجکاوی بزرگ شد، جایی که تخیل و طنز تبدیل به ابزار بقا و فهم جهان شد. او در «بیخود و بی‌جهت» با صداقتی بی‌پرده درباره تجربه‌های ابتدایی‌اش حرف می‌زند؛ از لحظاتی که با طنز و بازیگوشی، جهان اطرافش را تحلیل می‌کرد تا اولین برخوردهای جدی با هنر و ادبیات. این کتاب تو را به یادگیری این می‌اندازد که درک انسان‌ها و زندگی‌شان، اغلب با نگاه کردن به جزییات کوچک و لحظات روزمره شروع می‌شود.

سفر او از بروکلین به دنیای بزرگ‌تر هنر و سینما، مسیر پیچیده و پر از فراز و نشیب است.
آلن به‌وضوح از سال‌های آغازین نوشتن در تلویزیون و کار با افراد بزرگ یاد می‌کند؛ از سید سزار تا مل بروکس و نیل سایمون، و همین تجربه‌ها باعث شد ذهنش شکل بگیرد و سبک منحصر به فردی پیدا کند. این سبک نه فقط طنز، بلکه توانایی دیدن تراژدی در دل زندگی روزمره است؛ توانایی‌ای که فیلم‌ها و نوشته‌های او را از دیگران متمایز می‌کند.

فیلم‌سازی آلن نقطه اوج زندگی حرفه‌ای‌اش است، اما کتاب تنها به موفقیت‌های هنری محدود نمی‌شود. او با دقت و صراحت از همکاری‌هایش با بازیگرانی چون دایان کیتون، اسکارلت جوهانسون، اما استون و کیت بلانشت سخن می‌گوید و پشت‌صحنه‌ی فیلم‌هایش را بی‌پرده شرح می‌دهد. این روایت‌ها نه فقط جذاب، بلکه آموزنده‌اند، چرا که نشان می‌دهند یک نابغه چگونه با جزئیات و شخصیت‌های واقعی کار می‌کند تا اثر نهایی خلق شود.

با این حال، «بیخود و بی‌جهت» بیش از همه، درباره زندگی شخصی آلن است؛ روابط پیچیده و بحث‌برانگیز، ازدواج‌ها، فرزندان، و اتهاماتی که سال‌ها سایه انداخته‌اند، همگی با صداقتی بی‌پرده و گاه تلخ بیان شده‌اند. او نه از حقیقت فرار می‌کند و نه قصد دارد دیگران را متقاعد کند؛ بلکه با همان طنز همیشگی، واقعیات را همان‌طور که می‌بیند روایت می‌کند. همین صراحت است که کتاب را از یک زندگی‌نامه معمولی به تجربه‌ای انسانی و آموزنده تبدیل می‌کند، تجربه‌ای که خواننده را با تمام تناقض‌ها و پیچیدگی‌های زندگی انسانی مواجه می‌کند.

یکی از جذاب‌ترین نکات کتاب، ترکیب لحظات طنز و تراژدی است؛ همان چیزی که فیلم‌های آلن را از دیگران متمایز کرده. او نشان می‌دهد که زندگی همیشه جدی نیست، اما جدی گرفتن زندگی بدون شوخ‌طبعی هم امکان‌پذیر نیست. این نگاه، نه فقط سرگرم‌کننده، بلکه عمیقاً آموزنده است، چرا که به خواننده می‌آموزد چگونه می‌توان در مواجهه با شکست، تنهایی، ترس و حتی تراژدی، با طنز و تحلیل شخصی کنار آمد.

آلن در «بیخود و بی‌جهت» همچنین نگاه انتقادی خود را به فرهنگ معاصر، رسانه‌ها و جریان‌های اجتماعی ارائه می‌دهد. او با طعنه‌ای ظریف، اما گزنده، از نقش رسانه‌ها، جشنواره‌ها و نهادهای فرهنگی در شکل‌گیری افکار عمومی سخن می‌گوید و نشان می‌دهد که حتی در زندگی پرزرق‌وبرق سینمایی، انسان همیشه با محدودیت‌ها و تناقض‌ها روبه‌روست. این بخش کتاب به همان اندازه که خنده‌دار است، هشداردهنده هم هست؛ هشدار نسبت به دنیایی که گاهی حقیقت و دروغ، اخلاق و شهرت، هنر و سیاست را با هم درهم می‌آمیزد.

خواندن این کتاب تجربه‌ای است که هم خنده و هم تأمل به همراه دارد. تو با وودی آلن همراه می‌شوی، در لحظات شاد و تلخ زندگی‌اش شریک می‌شوی، و از ذهنی بهره می‌بری که بیش از هفت دهه با کنجکاوی و دقت زندگی کرده است. او به تو می‌آموزد که نگاه دقیق به جزئیات، تحلیل عمیق رفتار انسان‌ها و طنز در لحظات جدی، ابزارهایی برای فهم زندگی‌اند، و بدون آن‌ها نمی‌توان زندگی را به‌طور کامل درک کرد.

یکی دیگر از جنبه‌های قابل توجه کتاب، حس بی‌زمان بودن آن است. وودی آلن، با استفاده از خاطرات و تجربیات شخصی، تصویری از دنیای مدرن ارائه می‌دهد که هنوز هم مرتبط و آموزنده است. فیلم‌ها و نوشته‌های او، حتی وقتی به دهه‌ها پیش برمی‌گردند، بازتابی از مشکلات، خنده‌ها و پیچیدگی‌های زندگی امروز ما دارند. «بی‌خود و بی‌جهت» خواننده را دعوت می‌کند تا زندگی را با دقت و طنز تحلیل کند و به این نتیجه برسد که حتی در دل آشفتگی و تناقض، زیبایی و معنا وجود دارد.

در نهایت، خواندن این کتاب به تو می‌آموزد که زندگی هیچ‌گاه ساده نیست و هیچ فرمول جادویی برای موفقیت یا شادی وجود ندارد. اما وودی آلن، با صداقت، طنز و نگاهی عمیق، ابزاری به تو می‌دهد برای درک پیچیدگی‌ها، تحلیل خود و دیگران و مواجهه با واقعیات تلخ و شیرین زندگی. او به تو یادآوری می‌کند که هنر و زندگی، خنده و گریه، واقعیت و خیال، همه و همه بخشی از همان تجربه انسانی‌اند که ما همه درگیرش هستیم.

«بیخود و بی‌جهت» اثری است که نه فقط برای طرفداران وودی آلن، بلکه برای هر کسی که به زندگی، هنر و پیچیدگی‌های انسان علاقه دارد، جذاب و آموزنده است. کتابی که هم می‌خنداند، هم تأمل‌برانگیز است و هم صداقت و عمق انسانی نویسنده و شخصیت اصلی‌اش را به رخ می‌کشد. خواندن آن، تجربه‌ای نزدیک به سفر در ذهن یک نابغه است؛ سفری که هم سرگرم‌کننده و هم پر از درس‌های زندگی واقعی است، و شاید مهم‌تر از همه، یادآوری می‌کند که انسانیت، با تمام تناقض‌ها و ضعف‌ها، ارزشمند و قابل ستایش است.

[Algernon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Folks, you are reading the autobiography of a misanthropic gangster-loving illiterate; an uncultivated loner who sat in front of a three-way mirror practicing with a deck of cards so he could palm off an ace of spades, render it invisible from any angle, and hustle some pots.

I have watched dozens of Woody Allen’s movies over several decades. I’m a bit of a movie geek myself, but I always thought it is better to understand the artist through his work, and not through critical commentaries, self-serving memoirs or tabloid scandals. There are though several compelling reasons for picking up Allen’s biographical fiction:
- he is a good writer
- he has a sense of humor
- he talks about his movies here
- he is what is called an auteur who often uses his personal experiences in his movies. It’s fun to connect the dots
- he has been in the business for about seven decades, has met everybody and done everything, from stand-up comedy to theater, movie, jazz concerts and even opera

I used the word ‘fiction’ about this book deliberately because, regardless of the entertainment value and the wealth of trivial information from the world of show business, I am still on the fence regarding the author’s self-portrait. I have chosen his confession about hustling precisely because it can be extended beyond party tricks with cards and poker games to the ‘persona’ he constructed for public consumption.

One of the important early revelations, repeated at a couple of other milestones in Allen’s memoir, is the fascination with the imaginary worlds created on the silver screen [or in the pages of a book]

When asked which character in my films is most like me on the screen, you only have to look at Cecilia in The Purple Rose of Cairo.

Asked which movie is his favorite, Allen puts the classic A Tramway Named Desire at the top of his list. There’s a reason for his fascination with Blanche du Bois:

... in real life I am Blanche. Blanche says, “I don’t want reality, I want magic.”

The early chapters in the biography, those about his family, growing up in Bronx, going to school and discovering successively the joys of reading comic books, gangster stories [ The Gangs of New York ], listening to radio plays or to jazz concerts, magic tricks, baseball and vaudeville in his teenage years, are my favorite and the funniest in the book.
All of these passions will endure for a lifetime and will provide material for his writing, for his stand-up routines and for his movie scripts. Central to Allen’s development is ... the Midwood Theater, where I would spend so much of my childhood in flight from reality. . The passage about the moment when you sit down and leave the real world behind resonates strongly with my own passion for the medium:

At last the lights go down and the curtains part and the silver screen lights up with a logo that makes the heart salivate, if I might mix my metaphors, with Pavlovian anticipation. I saw them all, every comedy, any cowboy movie, love story, pirate picture, war film.

>>><<<>>><<<

The start of Woody Allen’s professional career is a mix of funny anecdotes, name dropping, fake modesty and a reveal of the real ingredients in his recipe for success: A burning ambition, a capacity to learn from mistakes and a lot of hard work. Some contacts and friends in the business also came in handy in the early years.

So I was learning how to be a writer, and that meant being at the typewriter at nine and hard, even agonizing work and reworking until six.

My advice to young filmmakers who ask me is always: Lay your proboscis on the grindstone. Don’t look up. Work. Enjoy the work. If you don’t enjoy the work, change occupations.

I remained invested in the progression of the young writer through the years, eagerly following Allen from his joke writing days to his years as a stand-up comedian, late night TV shows and eventually to his debut on Broadway and Hollywood, by way of a movie made in Europe [ What’s New Pussycat? ]
I made notes of the important names that helped Allen along, but in the end I decided to leave them out of my review, as I will leave out my notes on his various movie projects. They are important and I plan to eventually consult the book as I rewatch some of these movies, but something happened at about the half-way mark of my journey.
From a lightweight, self-deprecatory and often earnest account of his development as an artist, a man of culture and a hobnobber with celebrities, Woody Allen is suddenly transformed into a vengeful, vitriolic and even cringe worthy cry-baby.
Most readers would have probably known already what is in store, but I didn’t follow his personal life with the same attention I had for his films. Mr. Allen speaks so beautifully about his early romantic relations, about his actresses and girlfriends, about his own shortcomings and yearnings that is was a shock to witness what I can only call character assassination once he meets Mia Farrow.
Suddenly, it feels to me as if the whole book was written just as an excuse to present his own view on the scandal. Allen not only spends an inordinate amount of pages on the subject, but he completely loses his cool, his sense of humor and some of his credibility.
Compare his kind and loving words about Louise Lasser, for example, with the personal attacks and the poisoned barbs launched at Mia.

And I remember exactly where we were when I first realized what love was and what it felt like and finally I got what they mean, the poets, the lyricists. [Lasser]

In all my future writing over the years she remained my blond lady of the sonnets. [Lasser]

Mia browsed for new orphans like one goes through the remaindered bins in a bookstore.

I will not repeat here all the arguments and counter-arguments about events in 1992 that resulted in Allen being accused of child molestation. In this book we get to hear only one voice, that of the accused, and I don’t really know all the relevant facts.
If I was actually on a jury and asked to decide on the merits of the case, I think I would give Woody Allen the benefit of the doubt. I might think he is a creepy little critter, who likes young women barely out of high school, but I don’t buy the child molester image. This is a sort of gut reaction, not necessarily a logical one, but I believe if he was a true predator, there would have been more incidents and more reports over seven decades of being surrounded by some of the most alluring women on the planet. Yet, there is only this one incident laid at his door.

>>><<<>>><<<

After spending what felt half of the biography trying to present to the public his case against Mia Farrow, Allen eventually returns to talking about movies and the celebrities he meets. He has some wonderful words to say about Paris, New York, Rome and other places that are dear to him. He has some kind words to say about the actors he works with, the movies and the directors he admires, about his own peculiarities and anxieties.
Yet I felt detached. I couldn’t wash from my mouth the bitter taste of his angry and whining chapters about his conflict with Mia Farrow.
He gets one bonus half-star for keeping my favorite quote for the last page of his memoir. It might also explain his chosen title for the book, and my own ambiguous reaction to most of his films: I love them in the moment, but very few of them have shown staying power.

My biggest regret? Only that I’ve been given millions to make movies, total artistic control, and I never made a great film.

[Marcello S · Rating 3 out of 5]

Come riassumere la mia vita? Tanti stupidi errori compensati dalla fortuna. Il mio rimpianto più grande? Che ho avuto milioni per fare film in totale libertà, e non ho mai girato un capolavoro.

Il libro che, almeno inizialmente, negli Stati Uniti nessuno voleva pubblicare.

Se lascio da parte il lato affettivo, mi aspettavo qualcosa di più. In particolare, lo spazio riservato ai singoli film avrebbe potuto essere il doppio: avrei voluto più curiosità, retroscena, approfondimenti, meno l’effetto carrellata veloce.
D’altro canto il linguaggio è istantaneamente riconoscibile. La prosa, come ci si potrebbe aspettare, è brillante, sagace, autoironica; senza pretese «letterarie», almeno in apparenza. Si legge d'un fiato, come un flusso continuo. Senza picchi, forse, ma nemmeno cedimenti.
Allen esterna a più riprese l’amore per New York, Parigi, jazz, cinema, baseball. Il suo sguardo ha la calma e la lucidità di chi sembra aver trovato una sua serenità, nonostante tutto.
Il rapporto con Mia Farrow e Soon-Yi occupa una parte consistente del libro. Le accuse infamanti e le fasi del processo civile (per l’affidamento dei figli) e penale (per molestie). Si capisce che è un sasso che aveva bisogno di togliersi dalla scarpa, uno dei motivi principali per cui sta scrivendo.

Probabilmente Woody è rimasto l’unico a usare così tanto la parola “sexy”.
Imprescindibile per i fan.
Ma perchè, c’è qualcuno che non lo è?
[70/100]

Essere un misantropo ha i suoi vantaggi – la gente non può mai deluderti.

Un’altra cosa che non depone a favore della mia presunta intelligenza è la mia totale mancanza di curiosità. Non ho alcun desiderio di vedere il Taj Mahal, la Grande Muraglia cinese e il Grand Canyon. Non voglio visitare le piramidi o passeggiare nella Città Proibita. E di certo non voglio andare nello spazio per vedere la Terra da lontano e sperimentare l’assenza di gravità. Sono un grande fan della gravità e spero che duri il più possibile. Non mi chiedo neanche che cosa sia tutto quel vapore che esce dalle grate nelle strade di Manhattan.

Le mie condizioni sono sempre state le seguenti: se vuoi investire in un mio film, metti i soldi in un sacchetto di carta marrone, non ti fai più vedere, e dopo un po’ ti consegno un film finito che hai il diritto di distribuire come ti pare. Ma Hollywood stava cambiando e i miei precedenti, per quanto solidi, non si confacevano alla nuova mentalità da blockbuster. E così mi ritrovai con la sceneggiatura di Match Point, ambientata a New York, negli Hamptons e a Palm Beach, senza nessuno disposto a darmi soldi in un sacchetto di carta marrone.

Odio qualunque aggeggio. Non possiedo orologi, non vado in giro con l’ombrello, non possiedo macchine fotografiche o registratori, e ancora adesso ho bisogno di mia moglie per vedere un DVD . Non possiedo computer, non so neanche cosa sia un programma di scrittura, non ho mai cambiato un fusibile, spedito una email o lavato un piatto. Sono uno di quegli anziani cui bisogna dare un telecomando con tutti i tasti coperti dallo scotch, di modo che possa solo accendere, spegnere e regolare il volume.
A sedici anni mi concessi il lusso di una macchina da scrivere nuova, una Olympia portatile. Ci ho battuto sopra tutto quello che ho scritto: sceneggiature, commedie, racconti, pezzi per il “New Yorker”. Ancora oggi, non ho imparato a cambiare il nastro.

Ormai avrete capito che come regista sono un imperfezionista. Non ho la pazienza di girare e rigirare la stessa scena da più punti di vista, per quanto ciò poi possa essere prezioso in sede di montaggio. Mi piace girare una scena dopo l’altra, finire e poi andarmene a casa, accarezzare Soon-Yi, far saltare sulle ginocchia le mie figlie, cenare e guardare le partite in televisione. Non ho la minima voglia di perdere tempo con un’inquadratura di profilo, con un primo piano in più, con un’altra ripresa delle star che litigano perché magari viene meglio. Fare film mi piace, ma non ho la dedizione di Spielberg e di Scorsese, per tacere di altri talenti. Non riesco a interessarmi abbastanza a un film da stare sul set fino allo sfinimento e rinunciare a vedere l’inizio di una partita di basket o a mettere a letto le mie figlie.

Ho tralasciato i dettagli tecnici sulla realizzazione dei miei film perché li trovo una barba; di luci e fotografia non ne so di più di quando ho iniziato, e non ho mai avuto la curiosità di imparare. So che bisogna togliere il tappo dell’obiettivo prima di riprendere qualcosa, ma le mie competenze tecniche finiscono qui. Quando faccio il regista, so cosa voglio, ma soprattutto so cosa non voglio.

[Kansas · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Trabajo todo el día o, si no, al menos una parte de cada día de la semana. No porque sea un adicto al trabajo, sino porque eso me evita tener que enfrentarme al mundo, uno de de los escenarios que menos me gustan".

Después de terminar esta autobiografía tengo claro que Woody Allen quizás no la hubiera escrito nunca de no haberse visto obligado a contarnos su versión sobre ese escándalo que lleva arrastrando desde hace décadas y desde luego me parece que está en su pleno derecho, después de llevar tanto tiempo siendo ajusticiado por los medios y la opinión pública, (y lo digo porque es una persona que no lee sus criticas, no acude a la recogida de premios y realmente vive su vida tranquilamente), no creo que hubiera escrito unas memorias nunca. Pero a lo que voy, gracias a ciertas circunstancias de su vida, tenemos la autobiografía de uno de esos directores de cine, que solo su nombre ya es una marca y toda una forma de narrar cinematográfica. Y leyendo esta autobiografía se hace raro pensar que es un señor de 80 y tantos años, porque no tienes esa sensación leyéndola, todo lo contrario, parece el texto de una persona joven llena de ilusión y de vitalidad.

He disfrutado muchísimo de estas memorias dónde Allen hace un recorrido desde su infancia, su familia, su juventud, sus inicios en el cine, sus amigos, en fin, me ha parecido una autobiografía completísima de un hombre modesto y muy honesto, que nunca se ha creído estar por encima de nada y creo que repasa todas las polémicas de su vida, sus manías e inseguridades sin cortarse un pelo.

"Usé el concierto como excusa, pero tampoco habría ido si hubiese estado libre. No me gusta la idea de que se premie obras de arte que no se realizan como un propósito competitivo sino para satisfacer un deseo artístico y, con suerte, entretener. No estoy interesado en el pronunciamiento, de ningún grupo respecto de cuál es la mejor película del año, o el interpréte más valioso. No quiero estar en este tema..."

Y sí realmente te interesa el cine y disfrutas con él, te interesarán estas memorias. Woody Allen hace un repaso no solo de sus peliculas, sino de su forma de ver el cine, de como narrar y transmitir, y de la poca importancia que le da a todo lo sucedáneo para concentarse en crear.

"La gracia de hacer una película es hacerla, el acto creativo. Los aplausos no significan nada. Incluso aunque recibas los elogios más entusiastas, seguirás teniendo artítritis y culebrilla. ¿Y es tan terrible que la gente no se extasíe con tu obra? ¿Qué a alguien no le guste tu película?"

No voy a extenderme mucho en esta reseña porque es tan amplia la vida de Woody Allen, tan plena en lo que ha conseguido crear, que creo que no sabría ni por donde empezar. Eso sí, leer esta autobiografía solo por el morbo de sus litigios con Mia Farrow es una pérdida de tiempo, aquí hay mucho más que ese proceso legal quizás demasiado manipulado por los medios. Las descripciones que hace sobre momentos de su vida, sobre sus relaciones y sobre su cine, son lo que de verdad merecen la pena. Unas memorias largamente esperadas (aunque hayan querido censurarlas y boicotear su publicación desde su inicio, asi que gracias Alianza Editorial) que han merecido la pena porque te hace sonreir y te hace pisar el suelo, y porque el mayor crítico consigo mismo es el mismo Woody Allen. Un placer de lectura.

"He ahí otro dato sobre mi supuesta falta de inteligencia: mi absoluta falta de curiosidad. No tengo ningún deseo de ver el Taj Mahal, la Muralla China ni el Gran Cañón. No quiero visitar las pirámides ni pasearme por la Ciudad Prohibida. Y, definitivamente, no quiero estar a bordo de uno de esos primeros cohetes del espacio exterior, para mirar la Tierra desde lejos y experimentar la falta de gravedad. Soy un gran fan de la gravedad y espero que dure. Ni siquiera me pregunto a que se debe todo ese vapor que sale del suelo en las calles de Manhattan."

[Ivo Siromahov · Rating 5 out of 5]

Не съм имал съмнения, че и в автобиографията си Уди Алън ще бъде блестящ и очарователен както във всичките си книги, пиеси и филми.
Но "Само да вметна" надмина и най-смелите ми очаквания. Почти на всяка страница избухвах в смях от неочакваните му сравнения, от абсурдните ситуации, от безкомпромисната му самоирония.
Това е книга, в която драмата и комедията вървят ръка за ръка.
Животът на един изключителен артист, разказан като роман.
Който го може - го може.