How to Wrestle a Girl: Stories

by Venita Blackburn

Hilarious, tough, and tender stories from a farseeing star on the rise

Venita Blackburn’s characters bully and suffer, spit and tease, mope and blame. They’re hyperaware of their bodies and fiercely observant, fending off the failures and advances of adults with indifferent ease. In “Biology Class,” they torment a teacher to the point of near insanity, while in “Bear Bear Harvest™,” they prepare to sell their excess fat and skin for food processing. Stark and sharp, hilarious and ominous, these pieces are scabbed, bruised, and prone to scarring.

Many of the stories, set in Southern California, follow a teenage girl in the aftermath of her beloved father’s death and capture her sister’s and mother’s encounters with men of all ages, as well as the girl’s budding attraction to her best friend, Esperanza. In and out of school, participating in wrestling and softball, attending church with her hysterically complicated family, and dominating boys in arm wrestling, she grapples with her burgeoning queerness and her emerging body, becoming wary of clarity rather than hoping for it.

A rising star, Blackburn is a trailblazing stylist, and in 'HOW TO WRESTLE A GIRL' she masterfully shakes loose a vision of girlhood that is raw, vulnerable, and never at ease.

Genres: Short Stories, Fiction, Queer, Lesbian, LGBT, Romance, Audiobook

212 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 7, 2021

Reviews

[Meike · Rating 3 out of 5]

Blackburn's second collection contains 30 short stories, most of them focusing on a young girl who recently lost her father and the struggles she, her sister and her now widowed mother go through. The girl feels more and more attracted to her friend Esperanza, details experiences with friends at school and her softball team, and we learn about a shady priest and his relationship to the family.

The book shines when the author ventures into playful territory, telling stories with the help of charts, while her attempts to work with crossword puzzles and quizzes remain more appealing in theory than in practice. Unfortunately, the more classically told stories reflect the main protagonist's reluctance to engage with other people a little too well, as they tend to keep the reader at arm's lentgh, thus preventing a degree of immersion that would render the often serious topics more engaging and affecting.

Still, a worthwhile collection that might not quite live up to its ambition, but at least it has plenty of it, and it radiates the will to innovate the form and maintain its relevancy.

[Ten Cats Reading · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found HOW TO WRESTLE A GIRL by Verita Blackburn on the Libby app. Check for your local library on the app and read great books for free!📚

The audiobook is read by a group of individuals, who each perform their stories beautifully. Some, brilliantly. I recommend the audiobook for a short, gripping read.

Rating: 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 / 5 first queer loves
Recommend? Yes!
Finished: June 28 2023, July 6 2023
Format: Audiobook, Libby

See my blog for the full review!
https://donasbooks.blogspot.com/2023/...


Updated 7.6.23

I found HOW TO WRESTLE A GIRL by Venita Blackburn on the Libby app. Check for your local library on the app and read great books for free!📚

So brilliant!

Need to reread this book before reviewing properly. But for now, will say this collection has magnificent form.

[Sunny Lu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written by someone deeply steeped and invested in the work and legacy of queer and/or female Black literary figures

[el · Rating 3 out of 5]

when venita blackburn flies, she soars. when she falls short, i'm left scrambling to understand the significance of certain snapshots and narrative choices. there were a few standout moments in this collection for me—"not for resale," "smoothies," "young woman laughing into her salad," and "trial of ghosts"—that felt successful in what they set out to do. the rest, even and including part two, didn't do much for me. i think blackburn's style encapsulates a quirkiness that i'm not often able to absorb in any meaningful way. 2.8/5.

my favorite quotes:

You look like a man. It took me a few seconds before I knew it wasn't a compliment, that it was a lesson, an exchange, that he was learning too, how to be a man by not being a girl.

You look like a man. I was three sips into the smoothie before it hit. To be a woman seemed a terrible thing to have happen, and it happened at 3:54 on a Friday when I was fourteen to the sound of a blender jolted to life. Women have to be small, give birth, wear makeup. I could see all the women, the court reporters, the accountants, psychics and secretaries, biologists and senators, important but nameless, with inconvenient hairstyles and morning routines. Men got to invent women over and over one generation after the other by the grace of God.

[Erik · Rating 3 out of 5]

Venita Blackburn's second collection of short stories, How to Wrestle a Girl is a dreamscape of life for a young, Black person with shifting identities and an unmoored future.

The book is split into two distinct parts. Part 1 is truly a story collection - each story asks questions about community, race, queerness, and identity. From a special effects artist to a young trans woman with a new trans roommate, each story feels darkly salient. Part 2 is a collection of connected stories told from the perspective of a narrator finding out her own gender and sexual identities as she wrestles with her friend, sister, alcoholic mother, and a cast of childhood sexual abusers.

I wish so deeply Blackburn had given us a complete narrative that focused just on Part 2. Where Part 1 felt disjointed and the stories a bit incomplete, Part 2 told the story of a character that I wanted to know so much more about. Had this short story collection instead been a Part-2 novel, it would have been five stars: Blackburn's prose is beautiful, dark, and unmatched. But instead the collection left me wishing for something different than what I had finished reading.

[Oscreads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed reading this one!! I did think that some of the short stories felt a little meh but part 2 definitely helps bring this collection together very nicely. I’m not mad at this book. I also loved how experimental this collection got. Always love when a writer does new and exciting things. Can’t wait to read more of Blackburn.

[Marc · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Men are like giant tortoises—big and round and dense and kind of cute in a slow ancient way. I don’t mind men, I just don’t want to do them. I’d rather slide lettuce into their mouths and watch them chew." -from "Fat"

Blackburn was unknown to me until a couple months ago when my local library chose her Dead in Long Beach, California: A Novel for a book discussion. Something about her writing style in that novel made me think I'd be quite taken with her short stories (her humor, wit, offbeat analogies, prose style, etc.)--I was not wrong!

Most of these stories are quite short in this collection falling somewhere in a literary Bermuda triangle one might mark by traditional short stories, flash fiction, and experimental shorts (one story is a crossword puzzle, one is a multiple choice quiz, another is a grief log set up in landscape tabular fashion, and yet all/many are connected by recurring characters and themes). The main character is a teen girl with an older sister--they've recently lost their father and their mother is unreliable due to addiction issues. And Blackburn uses this coming-of-age time in the girls' lives to explore sexuality, queerness, black identity, betrayal/abuse by adults in their lives, and desire. But they're not victims so much as survivors, carefully navigating the absurdity of their adolescence. Blackburn has a real gift for inserting humor and oddly entertaining perspectives into her exploration of very serious issues.

"Strange things would arouse me then and maybe now, like Gilligan’s Island, all those odd white people on an island forever. It wasn’t gay or straight or the parts that were supposed to be romantic. Skipper and Gilligan would turn me on sometimes, the way the skipper would beat Gilligan with his cap and smash it back on his own head. Who knows?" -from "Lizard Sex"

---------------------------------
Favorite stories in this collection:
- Fam
- How to Wrestle a Girl
- Not for Resale
- Difficult Subjects
- Grief Log

[Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

i think if i had to choose a book to learn short story writing from it’d be this one, over and over again

[Jaylen]

DNF

[Jyotsna Sreenivasan · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite section of this book is Part II, which consists of a series of linked stories about an unnamed first-person narrator, her sister T, and her friend/crush Esperanza. I loved getting to know this family. I read in an interview that Venita Blackburn intended to write a novel in flash fiction about these characters, and I would definitely love a collection like that. There were also a few "Esperanza" stories in Blackburn's first collection (Black Jesus and Other Superheroes), and I loved those as well. Part II is introduced by "Grief Log," a chart that is meant to mimic an exercise log (the main character is an athlete), but which reveals the story of her father's death and funeral, and her own softball injury which lands her in the hospital. These stories are dense, poignant, and compelling. The narrator's voice is funny and vulnerable while pretending to be tough. I loved them so much that I'm going to read them again!

[Liara Roux · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sad and gay, my favorite. I really loved the speculative fiction bits and the extended story that takes place in LA/San Diego. I hope Venita writes more soon; I’m excited to read it!

[Rebekah · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

I really enjoyed Part I and all the variety in the short stories, but in Part II when all of the short stories became about following the same characters I grew more disinterested. I did like all of the different forms the short stories took, but Part I was definitely stronger.

[Veronica Sirotic · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gorgeous book of small stories - loved the multidisciplinary format and how they all started weaving together

[Nikolai Garcia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome book! (Would have finished it much sooner, but I went on a little road trip). One of the big themes in Part 1 is loneliness--the bad choices or bad things that occur to lonely people because they are different and ostracized. Part 2 feels more like a novel and brings back a couple of characters that were featured in the author's previous collection of short stories. The author also does some really cool things like shape stories to look like a grief log, a crossword puzzle, and a quiz. These were very creative, easy to follow along, and sometimes reminded me of some cool poems I've seen. If anyone has had a BIG high school crush, they will totally relate to this book. I'm happy that I get to interview this author and ask them more about this collection.

[df parizeau · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5

Julio Cortazar said the short story wins by knockout, but this collection seems content to jab its way round to round. I kept waiting for a big WOW moment like I did with The Rock Eaters, Milk Blood Heat, The Secret Lives of Church Ladies, or Friday Black (all collections I have loved recently) but it never came.

The flash fiction are fun vignettes that seem intent on finding clever words to insert, whereas the longer stories spin their wheels.

This is to say nothing about the thread of fatphobia that runs through the book. Several moments feature fatphobic language and throwaway remarks and descriptions of fat characters that make me question what the author was trying to get at.

[Miriam Kumaradoss-Hohauser · Rating 5 out of 5]

A solid 4.5—even if the shorter pieces are a bit of a mixed bag, many of the longer stories and all of part two punched me repeatedly and skilfully in the gut. I got to help with editing one of Venita Blackburn's stories for Apogee Journal, so I kind of knew what to expect (a killer combination of wit, poignance, and the grotesque)—said story, btw, is "Biology Class" in this collection—and I was not disappointed. If this were a book made only of Esperanza stories (Esperanza being the girl whose intense, magnetic, slightly frightening presence perbades the interconnected stories in part two), this would be an unqualified 5.

[James B · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to Netgalley and FSG for the ebook. The first half of this book of stories is so playful in both language and content. Stories about selling your body fat, having lunch with a best friend who died years ago and doing old style movie monster effects. The second half is more grounded in reality, but still as stylishly written, as we follow a high school girl and her beloved sister T, as they try to deal with their wildly unstable mother who has only gotten worse since their father had passed away.

[Lili Robbins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Every chapter ended with something so poetic or gut wrenching.

[James O'Bannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

If Venita Blackburn has no fans it means I have passed on from this weary life.

[Loriepaddock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Imaginative and visceral. A new author to me and I'll be looking for more of her writing!

[Ven · Rating 4 out of 5]

Supporting the Venitas out there!

[Elaina Bayard · Rating 3 out of 5]

5 star first half. 4 star second half. 3 star book.

[Zoë · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 Stars. Unfortunately, I just don’t think this book was for me. I really liked several of the stories in this collection and there were a few formats that I thought were fascinating — the grief log gets a particular shout out. However, a lot of this collection just didn't land for me personally.

There’s a somewhat stream of consciousness writing wrapped up in each of these stories, which not only made it difficult for me to follow what the message in the story was supposed to be, but also made me feel disconnected from the narrators. I was really hoping that a lot of these stories would grab me and pull me into their narrative, but that just never really happened. There are also various style changes between the stories, sometimes there quotation marks and sometimes there are not, so it can get a little confusing as to what is actually being said and when.

Part 2 of this collection follows a consistent narrator, so the style becomes a lot more stable and the stream of consciousness isn't as disruptive since you're following the same girl from story to story. I definitely enjoyed this part of the book way more that Part 1, unfortunately Part 2 is only about 37% of the whole book, so for me it was a bit of an uphill battle to get there. There are lines in Part 2 of the collection that do reference back to various short stories in Part 1, so it can be fun to link those together.

I feel like anyone who likes poetic prose or stream of consciousness, and is looking for a collection of short stories about the unease that can be found in girlhood, will enjoy this book.

[Morgan Schulman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an advanced reader’s copy in exchange for an honest review

I don’t know exactly what these stories are but let me tell you whatever this is is amazing. Definitely buy a copy for your favorite girlfriends for their birthday and let them wonder.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've had the pleasure of briefly meeting Venita Blackburn during an online writers workshop and got to ask her some questions about how she approaches her writing, including "Halloween," a story featured in this collection. Venita is a generous and insightful writer... I think she is one of the best flash fiction writers around.

This is a clever collection about all the ways in which a girl (or girls) wrestle with life: identity, family, sexuality, friendships, power, autonomy, and abuse.

The first part is a full of stories written in different and unique formats, and I appreciated the creative devices Blackburn used here (a crossword puzzle, a schedule, bullet points) to tell a particular story. Not every story feels connected here in Part 1 as they do in Part 2. The second half features recurring characters and the stories appear almost linear, with similar themes around an addictive mother, dead father, and sexual discovery.

I found the second half to be much more intimate and profound than the first part, and I preferred the more connected stories to the stand-alones.

For me, Blackburn is a stronger flash fiction writer. "Smoothies" and "Halloween" are a masterclasses on writing for this genre. The layers of depth and complexity that she achieves in such short pieces is astounding. It's not that her short stories are not good, but I did struggle with staying emotionally connected to some of the longer narratives when I wasn't sure where the story was heading.

Some stand-out stories: "Difficult Subjects" "Halloween" "Smoothies" "Side Effects Include Dizziness, Ringing in the Ears, and Memory Loss" "Thirteen Porcelain Schnauzers" "Parthenogenesis" "Tis the Season" and "Ground Fighting"

[Zachary Houle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’ve probably talked about this here on Medium.com before, but it is difficult to publish a book of short stories unless you’re an author who has published a novel first. If the publisher is looking for a stop-gap release between novels, then you might be able to publish a short-story collection. The thinking is that short stories don’t sell as well as novels, so for an author to come along and deliver not one but two short story collections in succession is a rare thing, indeed. Venita Blackburn, then, is that rarity of a writer. She has already published a debut story collection called Black Jesus and Other Superheroes. Now she has unveiled her second collection, How to Wrestle a Girl, with a major publisher.

Blackburn is a writer of talent because she can successfully sell story collections to publishers without anything in the way of a novel (the big money makers) for output. However, I must caution that Blackburn’s writing is not to everyone’s taste (including mine), though she has very important things to say about race, gender, body shaming, and sexuality. Still, most of the stories in How to Wrestle a Girl veer closely to being weird for being weird’s sake, and many of them (to me) didn’t make much sense at all.

Read the rest of the review here: https://zachary-houle.medium.com/a-re...

[Amber · Rating 3 out of 5]

it was hard for me to rate this collection because of the vastly different things i felt throughout it. there are some stories that grip you by the throat and shake you, making everything come loose until you’re left empty and wondering. yet there are others that miss the mark entirely, that rely too heavily on shock value or unique formatting to make their point. sometimes it feels like Blackburn depends on feminism or other social commentary to make her stories “good”, while at other times she blends social commentary smoothly with her stories and makes you rethink your world. so i’m torn. i adored Part II, but Part I just had too many pieces that didn’t quite work for me. yet Part I also had some of my favorite pieces, too! ugh this is so hard!

i believe Blackburn’s talent comes through in more traditional story formatting. Except for Grief Log and Inappropriate Gifts, her experiments with formatting fall flat and don’t have their intended effect.

overall, an enjoyable collection. i would recommend reading this, particularly if you’re queer. i know Blackburn’s shortform stories do work for others, i just couldn’t enjoy them, myself. her more traditional/longform stories are absolutely worth it, though.

favorite stories: Biology Class, Side Effects Include…, Ground Fighting

[Caitlin Robert · Rating 3 out of 5]

This collection didn't resonate with me at all. It was almost a DNF but so many reviews said that Part II was superior to Part I so I stuck it out. I agree that the second half was better than the first half but I still wouldn't say great. I did like the interconnectedness of the stories in the second half though.

I found myself with lots of questions that I wish had been fleshed out more. I would have been ok with getting rid of some of the shorter pieces (the Barbie one possibly) for more in the longer pieces.

I was very interested in the 2nd half narrator being intersex but I feel like it was mentioned too casually and not explored enough.

This is also true of Mama's affair with the pastor who ended up engaged to someone else and the hints of sexual misconduct on the part of the narrator's coach. I would have liked more details on both of these situations because I feel like they were formative events for the narrator.

All in all, this is a pass from me.

[Su · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew I was going to rate this short story collection five stars before I was even halfway through with it. This author is a tremendous talent (and definitely a new fave and auto-buy for me going forward~) who has the richness, rawness and realness of a Toni Morrison but amazingly shares my age/generation and So Cal hometown! Meaning I get the unbelievable treat of getting to read skillfully distilled truths and moments of life as I have known it, all couched within the very particular and familiar context of my childhood era and setting. Plus, Blackburn brings a delightful dash of the surreal/speculative fiction into some of her stories, and an unflinchingly female and queer viewpoint to the many problematic aspects of growing up in the US in the 90’s. It all rang so true and so much more beautiful and awful and comprehensible through this collection’s eyes. I couldn’t put this down—highly recommended!

[Jorden · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit disappointed. The beginning of the book was somewhat confusing. The short stories didn't make much sense to me as a collective unit, as standalone they were interesting. But how they connected to the main plot line went over my head. I was confused the entire book actually, and my rating only went up because of the second half. The book starts to focus on the main story which I really appreciated and wanted more of. The concept of the body and how it's relates to/is affected/ is perceived by queerness was interesting. I wanted more of the main character and their family dynamic. The start of their queer relationship/love/crush on a friend felt familiar and reminded me of highschool baby gay me. But the book focussed on this too late. I was disconnected from the characters and I wish the entire story was about them, and not the short stories.