The Road to Wigan Pier FAQs
Back in the days when I hung out in that other dimension called usenet, I wrote several *FAQS* for alt.books.george-orwell (alas, now dead, a repository for villainous spam - RIP):
Q & A with George Orwell:
B: Will you tell us about the Brookers, the people with whom you stayed for a while in Wigan?
O: Of course - mind if I smoke? - Mrs Brooker was too ill to do anything except eat stupendous meals, and Mr Brooker was a dark, small-boned, sour, Irish-looking man, and astonishingly dirty. I don't think I ever once saw his hands clean. If he gave you a slice of bread-and-butter there was always a black thumb-print on it.
At any hour of the day you were liable to meet Mr Brooker on the stairs, carrying a full chamber-pot which he gripped with his thumb well over the rim.
The most dreadful thing about people like the Brookers is the way they say the same things over and over again. It gives you the feeling that they are not real people at all, but a kind of ghost.
They kept a tripe shop -- flocculent stuff. They were the kind of people who run a business chiefly in order to have something to grumble about. The place was filthy: hanging from the ceiling there was a heavy glass chandelier on which the dust was so thick that it was like fur.
Generally the crumbs from breakfast were still on the table at supper.
I used to get to know individual crumbs by sight and watch their progress up and down the table from day to day. I never saw anyone brave the marmalade jar, which was an unspeakable mass of stickiness and dust. Last year's dead bluebottles were supine in the shop window (not good for trade!).
B: Curious. How long do bugs stay in a house?
O: Till. the. crack. of. doom.
B: And, above all, what do you feel there is no need of?
O: To have unemptied chamber-pots standing about in your living-room!
B: Briefly then, can you tell us what it's like in a coal mine?
O: The place is like hell.
B: Could you please define 'hell'?
O: Heat, noise, confusion, darkness, foul air, and, (also above all) unbearably cramped space.
B: I've always wondered what coal is used for, besides finding it in my stocking on Christmas mornings.
O: Let me list them for you:
-For eating an ice
-In crossing the Atlantic
-When baking a loaf
-In writing a novel
-In all the arts of peace (if war breaks out it is needed all the more)
-In times of revolution (and in times of reaction)
-In order that Hitler may march the goose-step
-That the Pope may denounce Bolshevism
-That the cricket crowds may assemble at Lords
-That the poets may scratch one another's backs
B: And pray tell, who might owe the decency of their lives to those poor drudges who work underground?
O: I'll tell you who:
-you and I
-the editor of the Times Lit. Supp.
-the poets
-the Archbishop of Canterbury
-comrade X, author of Marxism for Infants
B: All of us?
O: Yes.
B: If coal could not be produced without pregnant women dragging it to and fro, should we let them?
O: I fancy we should let them do it rather than deprive ourselves of coal.
B: When did you realise what splendid men miners are?
O: It is only when you see miners down the mine and naked that you realise what splendid men they are. Most of them are small (big men are at a disadvantage in that job) but nearly all of them have the most noble bodies; wide shoulders tapering to slender supple waists, and small pronounced buttocks and sinewy thighs, with not an ounce of waste flesh anywhere. In the hotter mines they wear only a pair of thin drawers, clogs and knee-pads . . .
B: 'The splendour of their bodies' comes to mind.
O: Yes, very much.
B: But, where are the monstrous men with chests like barrels and moustaches like the wings of eagles who strode across your child-hood's gaze twenty or thirty years ago?
O: Buried, I suppose, in the Flanders mud. If the English physique has declined, this is no doubt partly due to the fact that the Great War carefully selected the million best men in England and slaughtered them, largely before they had had time to breed.
B: That reminds me, did you ever habitually allow yourself to be dressed and undressed by a Burmese boy?
O: Oh yes.
B: And you...what were you like as a teen?
O: When I was fourteen or fifteen I was an odious little snob.
B: Lawrence says that because you have been to a public school you are a eunuch.
O: Well, what about it?
B: Umm, moving on, where was the silliest and worst delivered lecture you have ever heard or ever expect to hear?
O: Actually it was in Sheffield - I was taken to a public hall to listen to a lecture by a clergyman.
B: Did your feet carry you out, seemingly of their own accord, before it was half-way through??
O: Yes indeed, how did you know?
B: Well, I've read your book. By the way, who is the master in a middle-class home?
O: The woman, or the baby.
B: Mr. Orwell, let's get to the big question. What is a human being?
O: Odd question, but, primarily a bag for putting food into - the other functions and faculties may be more godlike, but in point of time they come afterwards.
B: True. And who are the laziest people in Europe?
O: The English!
B: What sums up the normal English attitude towards the Latin races?
O: Ha-ha - olives, vines, and vices.
B: Besides always telling the truth, you are known for predicting the future. So, what will life be like in the 'Utopian future', in two hundred years from now?
O: There won't be a coal fire in the grate, only some kind of invisible heater. The furniture will be made of rubber, glass, and steel.
If there are still such things as evening papers there will certainly be no racing news in them, for gambling will be meaningless in a world where there is no poverty and the horse will have vanished from the face of the earth.
Dogs, too, will have been suppressed on grounds of hygiene. And there won't be so many children, either, if the birth-controllers have their way.
B: What is your view on hanging?
O: I watched a man hanged once; it seemed to me worse than a thousand murders. I never went into a jail without feeling (most visitors to jails feel the same) that my place was on the other side of the bars.
I thought then -- I think now, for that matter -- that the worst criminal who ever walked is morally superior to a hanging judge.
B: Is it true that the middle-class person who is an ardent Socialist at twenty-five is a sniffish Conservative at thirty-five?
O: One can observe on every side that dreary phenomenon.
B: What sort of person is drawn to Socialism?
O: One sometimes gets the impression that the mere words 'Socialism' and 'Communism' draw towards them with magnetic force every fruit- juice drinker, nudist, sandal-wearer, sex-maniac, Quaker, 'Nature Cure' quack, pacifist, and feminist in England.
B: Can bad breathe be a problem?
O: You can have an affection for a murderer or a sodomite, but you cannot have an affection for a man whose breath stinks.
B: What does the high standard of life we enjoy depend upon?
O: Under the capitalist system, in order that [we]may live in comparative comfort, a hundred million Indians must live on the verge of starvation -- an evil state of affairs, but you acquiesce in it every time you step into a taxi or eat a plate of strawberries and cream.
B: Do you have anything to say about the rage against the machine?
O: The sensitive person's hostility to the machine is in one sense unrealistic, because of the obvious fact that the machine has come to stay. But as an attitude of mind there is a great deal to be said for it. The machine has got to be accepted, but it is probably better to accept it rather as one accepts a drug -- that is, grudgingly and suspiciously.
Like a drug, the machine is useful, dangerous, and habit-forming. The oftener one surrenders to it the tighter its grip becomes. You have only to look about you at this moment to realise with what sinister speed the machine is getting us into its power.
B: Yet aren't machine-made things cheaper?
O: Look at the filthy chemical by-product that people will pour down their throats under the name of beer. Wherever you look you will see some slick machine-made article triumphing over the old-fashioned article that still tastes of something other than sawdust.
And what applies to food applies also to furniture, houses, clothes, books, amusements, and everything else that makes up our environment.
B: Yes, sometimes I hate this age.
O: You may hate the machine-civilisation, probably you are right to hate it, but for the present there can be no question of accepting or rejecting it.
B: Are you too affected by the machine?
O: Give a Western man a job of work and he immediately begins devising a machine that would do it for him; give him a machine and he thinks of ways of improving it. I understand this tendency well enough, for in an ineffectual sort of way I have that type of mind myself.
I have not either the patience or the mechanical skill to devise any machine that would work, but I am perpetually seeing, as it were, the ghosts of possible machines that might save me the trouble of using my brain or muscles.
B: Ah the ghost in the machine. Wasn't it YOU, in fact, who invented the internet?
O: This is a misconception. I do believe the rumour started because -- as you well know -- a search on google for "Orwell" + "modem" yields hundreds of results. Perhaps this will finally end (today?) and maybe the other rumours will end as well -- like the one about me and a certain "Lyons comer house". I could multiply examples by the score on this sort of thing.
B: "Orwell" + "cat coke" is one of my favourites. Well, thank you sir,
and R.I.P.
O: At any rate, it's back to Sutton Courtenay.
B.