Disorganized Attachment: Why Does your Partner Alternate Between Love and Detachment? Healing Childhood Trauma & Developing Lasting, Loving Relationships

by David Lawson

Do you find it difficult to maintain a successful romantic relationship? Does your partner exhibit contradictory behaviours in intimate relationships, stating such things "I hate you, don't leave me"? Statements that alternate between stickiness and detachment? Do you nobly strive to grow the relationship, but have been stuck in the same spot for months or years? Attachment styles are the way we connect with other people. They are generally developed by infants and further refined by children, adolescents, and adults. Later, particularly in romantic relationships, people with disorganized attachment styles often experience fear and anxiety when forming intimate relationships and suffer from a negative self-image and extremely harmful internal dialogue. They often feel intense loneliness due to a sincere desire for a genuine connection, but the stress and fear response connected to that desire causes them to act erratically, pushing away the potential connection. People who exhibit attachment disorganization swing from two biological drives whenever the opportunity to attack in life presents the need to belong (to love and connect with others) and the need to survive (to protect themselves). You may already have started a family with someone with this kind of attachment and undertaken enormous efforts to try to make it all work, out of love for your partner, for the family and for the children. (as well as for your own happiness!). I recommend that you read this book if your partner appears ◆ Be unable to regulate emotions. ◆ Exhibits a strong fear of being hurt/rejected/abandoned by loved ones. ◆ Be a chronic and anxious watcher. ◆ Appears to have low a sense of not having an impact on the world. ◆ Feel ineffective and helpless in life. ◆ Feel unlovable, inadequate, or unworthy. ◆ Have difficulty bonding, opening up and trusting others. ◆ Show contradictory behaviour in intimate relationships, making statements such "I hate you, don't leave me!". ◆ Alternate between stickiness and detachment. In fact, research suggests that people with borderline personality disorder [also] exhibit a disorganised attachment style. They badly need closeness but fear rejection, and exhibit contradictory mental states and behaviours. Instead, you might ◆ Empty and confused when you are close to him/her. ◆ You feel like an invader in her life and constantly side-lined. ◆ Bewildered by the compulsive requests for closeness. ◆ Like you know that there is something wrong and you feel that somehow it is your fault. ◆ As if you are playing a constant game of "hide and seek" in this relationship. ◆ Insecure and unworthy of love. If you do not intervene soon, couples in which there is a person with disorganized attachment will end up having to settle for a relationship made up of distances, approaches and misunderstandings, all the way up to the complete destruction of the relationship . Everything that has been built together will have been in vain. Understanding the wounds of attachment is the best gift you can give to your relationship to finally make your intimacy grow. Scroll Up and click "Buy Now" Button!

Genres: Psychology

127 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 16, 2021

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.

David Lawson, PhD is a writer and researcher whose main focus is on mental well-being. With his courses and his coaching activity he has helped many people solve problems with personality disorders, self-perception and depression. He is considered to be a promoter of the well-being of the individual with a holistic approach that, over the years, has allowed him to achieve extraordinarily positive results. He is both loved and criticized for his friendly and sometimes direct approach.

It is helpful to think that true success occurs when you act on a daily basis. Habits are essential for achieving goals and for living the life you want to live.

Unlike other personal development guides, its content focuses on action.

Reviews

[Samantha Brittingham · Rating 3 out of 5]

a little confusing in the “what to do” section but the beginning was very informative

[Jodee Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful for me

This book has answered a lot of questions I have. It’s made me aware of areas in a relationship that I’m in, that I can work on. I like the action steps.

[Aaron · Rating 2 out of 5]

A lot of this seems to express an understanding that contradicts the info in https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1.... The latter of which is replete with cited data and contextual explanations. This book can't even keep one of its only stats (uncited) consistent

[Gregg Jenczyk · Rating 1 out of 5]

AI generated

[Ricky · Rating 1 out of 5]

Sometimes this book seems okay but a lot of the time I kept asking myself if it was written by AI. But then I'm like, if it were written by AI wouldn't it be less of a mess?

[Mic · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Remember, your thoughts are not always true” hit me like a ton of bricks!