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244 pages, Hardcover
First published June 1, 2007
Give me a call if you're interested. My name is Dorcas. Oh, and by the way, you can catch my act at the Laff Palace on open-mic nights. I'm the one who throws my pantyhose into the audience.
What a sweetie he was to give me first dibs on desert. Once more, I gazed at the tiramisu in all it's creamy glory. I debated whether or not to take a bite. I really should wait until Stan got back. . . I'd just have a teeny bite. And then we'd share the rest together.
I took a teeny bite. Okay, so it wasn't so teeny. It was a major folkful. Sheer heaven. I couldn't resist taking another. But that was it. No more. Absolutely not! . . not for three whole seconds. Then I broke down and had another bite. And another. And another.
You hungry? she asked, following my gaze. Want a pastrami sandwich? 🥪 They make really good one's here. Oh, no. No thanks.— not after that huge lunch I'd had. Hey Mitzi, she shouted. . . Bring my friend here a pastrami sandwich. Really, I protested, I shouldn't. Then I called out to the waitress: with side of potato salad.
What can I say? I can't take me anywhere.
Guess what pro? I said, scooping her up in my arms. I'm having dinner with Andrew tomorrow night! Him again? She wriggled free from my grasp. Then she strutted to the edge of the bed. Where are you going? Don't be that way, Prozac. This was the second time this week she was walking out on me. Why did I get the feeling that if she had opposable thumbs she'd be calling a divorce lawyer?
If you stay, I'll bring you leftovers from the restaurant. She shot me a baleful look. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO? AN ALLEY CAT? 🐈 I can't be bribed with leftovers. . . Of course, she didn't really say all that, but I could tell by the angry swish of her tail that's what she was thinking
. . .She jumped on the sofa and began clawing my favorite throw pillow with a vengeance normally reserved for my pantyhose. I headed back to bed, feeling a lot like a guest on a Jerry Springer show: Single Woman Who Cheat on Their Cats and Live to Regret it.