The PMS Murder

A Jaine Austen Mystery #5

by Laura Levine

While trying on bathing suits in the communal dressing room at Loehmann's, freelance writer Jaine Austen makes a new friend--a wannabe actress named Pam--and gets a new job: sprucing up Pam's bare-bones resume. Their feeling of connection is mutual, so Pam invites Jaine to join The PMS Club–a women's support group that meets once a week over guacamole and margaritas.

But joining the club proves to be more a curse than a blessing for Jaine. Though she is warned that Rochelle, the hostess, makes a guacamole to die for, Jaine never takes the warning literally. Until another PMS member, Marybeth, drops dead over a mouthful of the green stuff. Now instead of dishing dirt with The PMS Club, Jaine has to dig up the dirt on the surviving members. . .

Genres: Mystery, Cozy Mystery, Fiction, Chick Lit, Cozy, Humor, Comedy

245 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2006

About the author

Grew up in Brooklyn, New York, back when mastodons (and Edsels) still roamed the earth.

Education: Barnard College

First job: Reporter/photographer at a newspaper so small, we had our photos developed in the local camera shop.

Advertising claim to fame: I created Count Chocula and Frankenberry cereals for General Mills.

TV gets invented, and I get a job as a sitcom writer, turning out scripts for shows like The Bob Newhart Show, Three’s Company, Laverne & Shirley, The Love Boat, The Jeffersons, and Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman.

Current (and favorite) incarnation: Author of Jaine Austen mysteries.

Marital status: Wedded blissfully to business journalist Mark Lacter (aka Mr. Hubby), whose insightful coverage of the Los Angeles business scene can be checked daily at http://www.laobserved.com/biz/

Favorite authors: COMEDY: Joe Keenan. MYSTERY: Agatha Christie. SERIOUS STUFF: Anne Tyler.

Hobbies: Reading, swimming, gardening, and lots of walks (mainly to the refrigerator).

Reviews

[Kat · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jaine Austen is back to solve another mystery. She’s hoping to land a job working for a bank (where of course the CEO expects her to share in her love of salads while all the men eat delicious steaks and fries) and her cat Prozac is on a kitty-diet, which isn’t going well. While hanging with a new group of friends, Jane witnesses a murder… and becomes a suspect. This had all of Jane’s usual snarky antics and fun interludes with her writing group.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

In this 5th book in the humorous 'Jaine Austen Mysteries', Jaine helps solve the murder of a vivacious interior decorator.

*****

Los Angeles resident Jaine Austen is an amateur sleuth and writer whose work, so far, is mostly brochures, resumés, and advertising copy.



As the story opens, Jane is looking for bathing suits at the Bargain Barn and strikes up a conversation with a fellow shopper, Pam Kenton. Pam says she's a waitress and actress looking for a better job, and Jaine offers to to write Pam's resumé gratis.



To return the favor, Pam invites Jaine to the PMS Club, a group of people who get together weekly to bitch and moan while enjoying guacamole and margaritas. The PMS Club gathers at the home of Rochelle, who loves to play hostess.



Other members of the PMS Club are Doris - an older divorcée;



Ashley - a wealthy shopaholic;



Marybeth - a perky interior decorator;



and Colin - Marybeth's gay assistant (who's nice enough to serve the refreshments at PMS Club meetings).



Marybeth, an attractive bosomy blonde, bursts in late and happily chatters about her good fortune. She met a talented designer in New York who's going to be her new design partner; she's in love with a new man, but she won't say who it is; and she bought a lottery ticket on a whim and won $50,000.



Then, while rooting through a bowl of macadamia nuts, Marybeth mentions she's allergic to peanuts, and is assured there's not a peanut in sight.



During the evening, an overheard phone call reveals Colin is annoyed because HE expected to be Marybeth's new interior design partner; and female chatter discloses Rochelle thinks her husband Marty is having an affair.

At the next meeting of the PMS club, Marybeth eats a scoop of guacamole on a tortilla chip and drops dead.



It's later revealed the guacamole contains peanut oil, and the members of the PMS Club are all suspects. So, another case for Jaine Austen, who helps the police by 'investigating' each club member in turn.

Meanwhile, Jaine has other things on her mind, especially her shrinking bank balance.



Jaine is always looking for more income, and she lines up an interview to write the monthly 'Tattler' newsletter for the Union National Bank.



However, the interview goes awry because of Jaine's cat Prozac.



At the veterinarian's suggestion, Jaine put Prozac on a diet, and Prozac - who's accustomed to eating Bumblebee tuna - is furious about the 'Dee-licious Healthy Haddock Entrails.' Even worse, Prozac smells empanadas and Chunky Monkey ice cream on Jaine's breath.

So in a fit of spite, Prozac hides Jaine's queen-size waist-nipper pantyhose, and they fall out of Jaine's attaché case during the Tattler interview.



The dishy banker, Andrew Ferguson, jokes, 'Do you have something in fishnet?' In any case, this job is put on hold because Jaine is technically a murder suspect.

In addition to Prozac's antics, which continue throughout the book, Jaine is concerned with a variety of things.

❆ Jaine's best friend Kandi is getting married, and chose pink Cinderella gowns for the bridesmaids. When Jaine goes for a fitting, she's appalled. Worse yet, Jaine is compelled to wear the dress for a different occasion.



❆ Jaine teaches a weekly memory-writing class at the Shalom Retirement home. Her most enthusiastic student, elderly Abe Goldman - who tries to take Jaine for romantic walks in the parking lot - switches his attention to an octogenarian blonde bombshell called Goldie Marcus.



❆ When Jaine's neighbor Lance sees a photo of the PMS murder suspects in the media, he insists Jaine set him up with 'hot' interior designer Colin. Jaine is reluctant, since Colin may be the killer, but Lance outwits her.



❆ Jaine's parents, who live in a Florida retirement community called Tampa Vistas, are constantly emailing Jaine, usually about her father's kooky antics.

This time Jaine's mother (Username: Shoptillyoudrop) writes:

Subject: America's Most Irritating

You won't believe what your father is up to now. The absolutely nicest man has moved to Tampa Vistas, Jim Sternmuller, a retired minister. Just the sweetest, kindest man you could ever hope to meet. But for some reason, your father is convinced that he's seen Reverend Sternmuller on 'America's Most Wanted.' He says he's the Hugo Boss Strangler, a madman who runs around strangling women with Hugo Boss ties. And now Daddy is determined to unmask Reverend Sternmuller.



Jaine's father (User Name: DaddyO) writes:

Subject: The Nose Knows

We've got a mass murderer in Tampa Vistas, some guy passing himself off as a retired minister. But I recognized him the minute I saw him. He's the Hugo Boss Strangler. Kills his victim with a designer tie. Trust me, sweet pea, The Nose knows!



This situation escalates as Jaine's mom buys a 360-day supply of Stress-Less vitamin pills, and Jaine's dad collects Reverend Sternmuller's DNA and fingerprints. First, DaddyO pretends to see a bug on Reverend Sternmuller's head and pulls out a hair for DNA; then DaddyO steals a fork from a restaurant Reverend Sternmuller is dining at - for fingerprints. DaddyO then sends them to the FBI.

To me, communications from Jaine's parents are the funniest part of the book.

There's plenty more happening, as Jaine works to solve Marybeth's murder in the midst of her own busy life.



Besides everything else, there's scene after scene of Jaine scarfing down food: Pop-tarts, bagels, hamburgers, french fries, flourless chocolate cake, burritos, ice cream, brownie a la mode, guacamole, steak, chocolate, etc. This ongoing joke may irritate some readers.



I'm a fan of amusing stories and I enjoyed the book. Recommended to readers who like humorous cozy mysteries.

You can follow my reviews at https://reviewsbybarbsaffer.blogspot.com

[Luffy Sempai · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm running out of superlatives to laud Laura Levine and her books. The most useful thing I can blurt out is for you to read the latter. There are several reasons for doing so. The writing style is smart and funny. The time between the start and the murder and between the murder and the investigation is well planned. The hijinks of Prozac are well thought. The other subplot with Jaine's prospective work is eye catching and laugh out loud funny. All of these add to much and more. Jaine Austen this time snatched - or rather convicted - her murderer from the jaws of defeat - or cast iron alibi - with more purpose and less blind luck than usual. Until next time, which will be soon.

[Anastasia · Rating 4 out of 5]

The PMS Murder by Laura Levine is the 5th book in A Jaine Austen Mystery series. Freelance writer, Jaine Austen is asked to join a women's support group, the PMS club, only to see a member killed during one of their meetings. Another funny and entertaining book, especially following the antics of Jaine's parents.The only letdown was the flimsy motive for the murder. Still it was a lot of fun with plenty of laughs.

[Philip · Rating 4 out of 5]

Laura Levine has the best sense of humor and continues to make me laugh when reading her books. The mysteries are good but the characters are just that, characters. Jaine's parents are hoots and people you'd love to know. Another well done job!

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jaine Austen (not the author, a run-of-the-mill freelance writer and in her spare time, murder detective. She always seems to be at the wrong place at the right time (if there is such a thing) and this time, she is at a party with her PMS (not menstruation) group. She just joined and found some good friends. One of them ate some nutty guacamole and the host of the party said a nasty two-word phrase right before the death of the member. Jaine can't believe her new group could be capable of murder so she sets out on her own investigation. With the latest man-crush with her friend, trying to put Prozac on a diet, and her dad on his latest gag about a certain reverend looking like a mob boss, you will never know what to expect on the next page.

Laura has some very quirky humor in this book and i found myself chuckle quite a few times. Seems every book gets better and you would think you'd get annoyed by her dad acting like a crazyhead, but really, it is all so laughable and good clean humor. I recommend all of Laura's books to anyone who likes books.

[Sheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really like this series and the character is hilarious but it's beginning to feel like each book is just a carbon copy of the one before it with the same jokes and everything. Just a tweak in the mystery so it's not the same exact book as the one before and that's all. The jokes were hilarious in the first book, still funny in the second, but by the 3rd, 4th, etc., they are starting to wear me down. Jaine's personal life needs to move forward in some way (and she needs to come up with some more witty jokes) to keep this series from getting stale. I will need to take a break from this series before coming back to it.

[Glenn Harris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm sorry I couldn't rate this higher. It's well written, somewhat amusing, with a sufficiently interesting mystery to be solved. But it's just too cute for my taste. For instance, Janine frequently tells you the really smart-alecky thing she said, then tells you she really didn't say that, and then tells you the not-very-interesting thing that she did say. This gets old very quickly. And I did say that.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love these books. Jaine is so real and funny! The things that she gets herself into! Fun mystery that she started investigating to help clear a new friend. Loved that she had Prozac on a diet and she was then eating in the bathroom since she didn't want to eat in front of her.

[Kathy Warren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love Love Love this series. Quick fun read. Janine is funny and and has a sassy attitude. Prozac her cat rounds up this delightful read.

[Zyra · Rating 5 out of 5]

jaine austen books are cozy mystery books, funny & light hearted. in each of these books, the main character jaine takes investigation on side to solve the murders.
jaine has funny sense of humor. things i enjoy most in her books are her conversations with her pet cat Prozac, the emails from her parents & her love for food. these books makes for relaxing reads at times with laugh out loud dialogues & scenes.

[Bobbi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another hysterically funny book in this series. Jaine is a hoot. I’ve got one problem though- she’s constantly complaining that her refrigerator is always empty and that she has no money for food. However she’s always buying her meals at fast food restaurants. If she used that money toward groceries instead, she’d have food in the refrigerator. That being said, we’d miss half the laughs, so 🤷🏻‍♀️.

[Pinto Neo · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have read books 1 - 5. While I LOL a couple of times, I was disappointed with this book. Firstly, the moment the alibi was 'locked in', the murderer's identity was very clear. Secondly and more importantly, Jaine is still the same in book 5 as she was when I first met her in book 1. No development at all. I will read book 6 and if she is still the same, than that's it for me. No more Jaine Austen.

[Colleen Pugh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great Jaine Austen book by Laura Levine. She helps you build a relationship with Jaine. You feel her pain, joys, and she makes you laugh. And sometimes you want to strangle that darn cat, Prozac! Lol. The author also knows how to reel you in to the point you don't want to put this book down! She makes you feel like your on this investigation too! Love this series!!

[Patricia Nowacky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Again, a fun, fluffy novel from Laura Levine, this time focusing on a murder via peanut oil in a guacamole dip. Jaine's relationships with her cat, her finances, and food had me chuckling throughout. A cute, fun read by the pool.

[Barbara Nutting · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another whacky adventure with Jaine and her friends - only this time the friends were a little less friendly.

Jaine always looks so cute and perky on the book cover that I have trouble visualizing her as a fatty with cellulite. She eats more in a day than I do in a month!! No wonder she has thighs like redwood trees. I have no trouble with all the obese references, but I wonder how overweight women feel about it??

Prozac, the Fat Cat and Mom and DaddyO bring their usual humor. They have their own agenda and always make me chuckle. Sounds like they live in a clone of Florida’s infamous Villages!!

That was Book#5 - I’m out of order again. Since they are all alike it doesn’t really matter. Just a breath of fresh air between more meaningful reads.

Peanut oil again????????

[RavenReader · Rating 3 out of 5]

The fifth in the series. Janie befriends a woman named Pam while shopping. They become fast friends and Pam invites Janie to join her for the PMS club. On the second meeting, someone is murdered and Janie starts investigating. A 3.5 rating.

[Maureen DeLuca · Rating 4 out of 5]

As far a cozies go - this was pretty good - I'd rate it more of a 3.5 -

[Chaitra · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd read these even if all they contained were Prozac's dieting troubles and emails from Jaine's mom and dad.

[Ellen · Rating 3 out of 5]

The PMS Murder by Laura Levine is a fun read with a few out-loud laughs & an ending that actually surprised me (I'm not to easy to surprise).

Jaine Austen-yes, the joke is there, again & again-is a free-lance writer, battling danishes with the help of her cat, Prozac (the book is full of arch jokes that sometimes work & sometimes grate). Her best friend is busy working & getting married and Jaine (who has successfully solved previous mysteries) meets a new best-friend who introduces her to the PMS Club: a group of apparently wealthy women who are supposedly friends. Jaine only makes it to one meeting, at which she has a great time until one of the guests keels over. Dead, of course, or where would the story go?

Despite the sometimes heavy-handed humor, I liked Jaine (and her diet-resistant cat) and found myself rooting for her, laughing almost despite myself and pleasantly intrigued by the plot twists and turns.

All in all, a very enjoyable read.

[Janet · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked this mystery. The writing seems to just draw you into everything and the characters and situations all feel very real. Weirdly enough I had read the first Jaine Austen mystery and now this one (number 5 in the series) and I have the last one written on my list to read. I did have one small problem and that was the book cover. When you read the book she is always either eating or talking about her weight and how she needs to lose some but on the cover the girl pictured is very skinny and you can really tell that it is not at all what Jaine looks like. Fudging is fine but this is downright wrong IMO. Anyway, I liked how Jaine got facts from the different characters and they all seemed to have motive. It kept you trying to figure out who did it. I didn't know at all until Jaine herself figured it out which was at the very last moment.

[Nur · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is the only Jaine Austen book I've read and I am sure it will be the last. First of all, I can guarantee you that all these books will feel exactly the same--the writing screams mass produced novel for women. Also, it's clear to me that the author HATES fat women. I can't believe none of the other reviews mentioned this? Jaine's entire internal monologue is "but let me get some fast food first" or "wow clothes don't fit me" which is not cute or endearing at all. I give the book two stars because there were some mildly funny moments and I definitely didn't see the ending coming, but I will not be recommending this book to anyone.

Sorry, Kaitlyn. I guess I'll try Amish romances next...

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though I'd grown a tad tired of the Jaine Austen formula, this one pleasantly surprised me. I wish that the "branching out and making new friends" plotline had extended; it would have made things more interesting for future reads, as it brought fresh new faces. I have to say, I'm tired out by the running gag of Prozac, the cat, "cleaning her genitals." Cats do clean other parts of their bodies, y'know.

Anyway, I fully expected to be bored, but this one did seem a slight variation on the formula. Thus, I ended up enjoying it quite a bit; it's probably now one of my favorites in the series.

[Patty · Rating 4 out of 5]

When Jaine Austen meets another woman in the changing room at Bargain Barn she thinks she has found a kindred soul. Pam is someone who shares Jaine’s love of high calorie food, a few drinks, and doesn’t look like a super model in appearance conscious LA. Even better, Pam introduces Jaine to the PMS Club whose members are a fun group of women and one gay man. But with the murder of one member the group begins to fall apart. In trying to solve the crime, Jaine discovers that everyone had a reason to commit murder.

This is a fun, light mystery. 5th in the series. If you haven’t started the series yet try the first one, This Pen for Hire.

[Liana · Rating 2 out of 5]

Unfortunately there seems to be no character development in this series at all. The protagonist's "comic misadventures" are the exact same in every book. The mysteries are the same, the ending the same. No change. No creativity. Sadly, the author has read many Stephanie Plum adventures and simply created a very poor imitation due to the fact that her writing talent is VASTLY inferior to that of Janet Evanovich.

[Micki Hughes-zitar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great, laugh out loud book in this series! Join jaine as she meets new girlfriends, tries to put her cat on a diet, and attempts to get a new job. She also investigates a murder that happened to a girl in her new friend circle. I think in this book the author references the previous book in the series and tells the reader where they can buy it. I love this series!!

[Jeannie and Louis Rigod · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a cozy murder mystery that was rather a let-down for me. The Author used humor and well, however, it grew old as the story progressed. I became tired of the food addiction and self-deprecating humor as a constant. I was not amused.

As for the murder, it was predictable and so was the culprit. I have a couple more of the series yet to read, but, am sort of reluctant to begin them.

[Mark Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jaine joins a women's support group called the PMS Club. However, at the first club meeting, one member dies from her peanut allergy. Which is Jaine's new friends is a killer? Another fast and funny read.

Read my full review at Carstairs Considers.

[Glen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really, I'd put it at 2.5 stars.

Jaine Austen gets embroiled in another mystery, this time a member of her woman's support club. She acts dizzier than usual, and this one seems more than a bit padded. It also seems amazing to me that there are cops who don't know who she is.

Not really fair play, and enough with the cat licking its privates, already.

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

another great one in the series. I am starting to figure these out way before the end but they are so much fun. Jaine joins a PMS club just in time for one of its members to be murdered. unless Jaine can solve the case,, she will lose her dream job. so who did it? everyone but her has a
motive. read and fond out.