Attached to God: A Practical Guide to Deeper Spiritual Experience

by Krispin Mayfield, K.J. Ramsey (Foreword)

Why does God feel so far away? The reason--and the solution--is in your attachment style.

We all experience moments when God's love and presence are tangible. But we also experience feeling utterly abandoned by God. Why?

The answer is found when you take a deep look at the other important relationships in your life and understand your attachment style. Through his years working in trauma recovery programs, extensive research into attachment science, and personal experiences with spiritual striving and abuse, licensed therapist Krispin Mayfield has learned to answer the Why do I feel so far from God?

When you understand your attachment style you gain a whole new paradigm for a secure and loving relationship with God. You'll gain insights

How you relate to others--both your strengths and weaknessesThe practical exercises you can use to grow a secure spiritual attachment to GodHow to move forward on the spirituality spectrum and experience the Divine connection we all were created forYou'll learn to identify and remove mixed messages about closeness with God that you may have heard in church or from well-meaning Christians. With freedom from the past, you can then chart a new path toward intimate connection with the God of the universe.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Psychology, Faith, Theology, Christianity, Spirituality

256 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 22, 2022

Reviews

[K.J. Ramsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

My friend Krispin Mayfield has written a book that I truly believe will be a spiritual classic.

In Attached to God, Mayfield not only helps us name why we struggle to feel close to God, he gives us space to practice turning toward the God who is always turned toward us. I could say so much about what I love about it—from the way Krispin boldly untangles some toxic knots of evangelical theology to his rich use of metaphors and practices. BUT, I’ll save the rest of my gushing, because he’s given me the honor of writing his foreword.

Attached to God is the healing resource just about every Christian in my life needs. I’m so grateful Krispin gave us this gift. (And, people, I don’t give a compliment where one isn’t due. I mean every word of this review.)

[Jenai Auman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Krispin put so many words to how my wounds have affected my relationship with God.

After religious trauma, I have been navigating a spiritual crater, logically believing that God is good, but wondering why the pieces of my life had been nuked by an inescapable bomb. Reading on my standard attachment style (outside of a secure attachment) I could find more pieces in the crater, fit them together, and let God heal the wounds.

With Krispin's help, I could see my own insecure attachment style (shutdown) and name it. I could go back and see how religious trauma reinforced my insecurity. I grew up in a childhood home believing my emotions weren't welcome, and I landed in a church home that had me check my emotions at the threshold. My personal development has been fostered in a way that a show of emotions will be met with punishment. Krispin helped me name and begin the process of disassembling that belief.

[Betsy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an extremely interesting book, relating attachment theory to an individual’s relationship with God. I felt the first half of the book was strongest, with the explanation of attachment theory, and particularly connecting different traditions to different attachment styles. The quotes/summaries representing different theologians views sometimes seemed reductionist, and a bit cherry-picked, and I would enjoy a fuller discussion on some of the points. I imagine the author and I have philosophical disagreements, but all in all, a thoughtful book.

[Landry Monroe · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is probably the best book on integrating Spirituality and Attachment Science. Highly recommend this one if you struggle to understand why you feel distance in your relationship with God and why you interact with God the way you do. I love how science is catching up to the fact that we were created for connection and we can use science to help us understand our relationship with God. Thanks for coming to my ted talk🤓

[Kel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel like this book had great potential.. but the author spent way too much time bashing the church for all our attachment to God problems and hardly covered enough about how our relationship with our parents affect this. Also he downplayed how sin separates in a effort to push his point that God loves us no matter what and nothing can separate etc etc. but I feel he could have expanded on how grace does this for us and not just ignored most of the sin factor. I don’t know… I did learn one or two helpful things from this book though.

[Therese O’Brien · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me to see how I was projecting my own insecurities into how I felt God thought about me, which isn’t true at all! The practical exercises at the end of the chapters are something that I will revisit continually. I highly recommend!

[Emily Herron · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is such a balm. I can’t get enough. To understand the psychology behind our feelings of disconnection with God and then have insights on who God is and his desire for connection with us is such a gift.

[Josh Olds · Rating 5 out of 5]

Attached to God is the type of book you can’t grasp in one reading. I had a difficult time writing this review because every time I sat down to parse out just how I felt about it, I ended up opening the book and losing myself in a chapter, a page, or even just a paragraph. There was something new and different to reflect on every time I opened its pages. I could have easily written five different (and always positive!) versions of this review based simply on what struck me as most relevant at the time I was writing.

Attached to God is a book about your relationship with God, specifically why that relationship might be a struggle. Why does God feel so far away? The reason—and the solution—is in your attachment style. It’s a bold prediction from the back cover, a bit hyperbolic compared to Mayfield’s more careful and nuanced claims in the book, but it isn’t incorrect. Understanding the problem has to be the first step. If you’re on the wrong path, running down it harder won’t get you any closer to your goal. Instead, Krispin encourages readers to step back, evaluate their path, and build a bridge toward a better way forward.

As a licensed professional counselor, Krispin Mayfield’s clinical practice focuses on attachment-based emotionally focused therapy. This paradigm establishes four different ways people relate to others: secure, anxious, avoidant, or fearful. Obviously, a secure attachment is the goal of all relationships with the other three being characterized by different themes. Mayfield draws out each of these themes to explore why individuals may have developed insecure attachments with God.

The first two chapters of Attached to God provide an introduction to Mayfield’s thesis. In the opener “The Still Face of God,” Krispin uses the imagery of the Still Face experiment, where a parent refuses to show emotion to their young child. The child reacts to get a response, then cries, then ends up in a full-on meltdown because of the perceived emotional distance from their parent. It can be the same way with God, at times. How do we find ourselves relating to God when we feel distant from him? How do we reach for closeness with the Divine? The second chapter builds a general overview of attachment science, briefly outlining the four different attachment styles.

The three chapters that follow expand upon that general outline, with a chapter each on the three insecure attachment styles. Attached to God explores why individuals may have ended up relating to God with one of these three styles and the results are eye-opening. As the product of American evangelicalism, Mayfield’s context and experience often comes from that religious paradigm.

When he speaks of anxious attachment, he gives the example of A.W. Tozer, a man famous for this relationship with and writing about God. Mayfield carefully and respectfully examines Tozer’s life, suggesting that his single-minded desire to cultivate a relationship with God was not based in healthy attachment, but from an anxiety-ridden attachment that never felt secure in the relationship: It’s as though he clung to the hem of God’s skirt, unable to venture out into the world, robbed of the ability to grow, learn, and engage with others.

Shutdown spirituality—or avoidant attachment—is where any expression of negative emotion is believed to lead to strain in the relationship. The relationship must be perfect: Christians shouldn’t feel sadness or worry or doubt or anything else that questions God’s goodness. This leads to a relationship with God that is often disconnected or insincere. We feel that we can’t be authentic in our relationship with God or question the Divine in any way. Again, Mayfield looks toward the evangelical church, which has often suppressed doubt or worry, cultivated a theology of celebration, and offer simplistic answers to difficult questions as a driving factor toward the development of this attachment.

Shame-filled spirituality, or fearful attachment, is probably the most prevalent insecure attachment I’ve seen as an evangelical pastor. In Reformed circles, specifically, but evangelicalism in general, the depravity of humanity and the vastness of human sin is constantly at the forefront of the conversation. The resultant view of God is one that is judgmental and wrathful, whose love comes with conditions and who is never happy with you just as you are.

After a transition chapter, Attached to God then goes back through these three attachment styles to focus on how we move from insecure to secure attachments. How do we move from anxiety to rest, from being shut down to being engaged, from being filled with shame to being filled with delight? The path that Krispin Mayfield presents isn’t easy, but it is clear. He offers a different way of relating to God, one that is more liberating, more loving, and more secure.

If your relationship with God has been shaken, consider that the problem isn’t you and it isn’t God—it’s how your culture has presented God to you and how it taught you to relate with God. The Divine is not fickle or angry or disappointed in you. You are loved by God unconditionally. Attached to God is a gospel message to those mired in evangelical religion. This is one of the most important books I’ve read in a long time. Krispin Mayfield pinpoints precisely where so many people are struggling, but few have the language to express that struggle let alone find a path to healing.

Attached to God gives a voice to a generation of Christians seeking a different way of finding God than their churches have presented. It validates their trauma, acknowledges their pain, and gently shepherds them toward healing. If we take this book seriously, it would start a revival.

[Abigail Westbrook · Rating 1 out of 5]

Whew. I was excited to read this book initially, wanting to learn more about attachment theory and how it could be applied in one’s relationship with God. The definitions of the different attachment styles were interesting and insightful, but the author presents a view of God that is drastically different from the One I see in Scripture. The book seems to say that Jesus came to earth only because He wanted to be near us and show us who God is - not because our sin needed to be atoned for. It goes so far as to say that any shame we feel is not due to our own sins, but to the ways we have been hurt by others. It was a confusing read because I partially agreed with some of it, while at the same time being deeply frustrated that so much vital truth was being left out or completely contradicted. I fear this book will mislead many away from saving truth of who Jesus really is and why He came.

One other thing I was frustrated by were the many direct quotes from well known Christian teachers and authors, taken out of context to make them appear far more imbalanced (even “abusive”) than their teaching indicates as a whole. It just seemed very unprofessional and unnecessary to include such quotes with names attached.

I regretfully cannot recommend this book at all. I only stuck with it because I kept hoping it would get better.

[Erin Straza · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whenever I have trouble sending God’s nearness, I automatically assume I’ve done something to shove him away. It’s not that the relationship feels irreparable; the Jesus I’ve come to know isn’t petty. But it’s a definite feeling of disconnect. And I don’t like it. I want to sense God in my life and in the midst of everyday things. So the disconnect feels like loss and confusion.

But what if how I’m connected to God is a result of my attachment style? That’s the term deceiving how kids learn to create and maintain relationships with others. Krispin Mayfield writes about that in Attached to God: A Practical Guide to Deeper Spiritual Experiences. I highly recommend this gentle, insightful resource if you’ve ever wondered about the ebb and flow of feeling close to God. It’s full of wisdom, practices to soothe the wounds of our adopted attachment style, and new ways to view commonly held Christian beliefs that contradict the tenderness God has for each of us.

[Andra Fox]

Unlike any book I’ve read. I’ll be thinking about this for a long time. The author digs into the science of attachment theory, and how that directly impacts our attachment to God. I’ve only ever understood attachment theory as a framework for understanding trauma and it’s impact on parent/child or other human relationships, so I was incredibly fascinated to take that same understanding and analyze how it affects us spiritually. I was most struck by the way he describes our theoretical knowledge being at odds with our emotional experience of God and that attachment theory can be a framework to help unravel and understand that.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book did an outstanding job of combining mental health and faith, some of the best I've read in that arena. Because of that, it was an emotionally hard read; things I needed to hear and think through and pray on, etc. This book is requiring some growth on my part...

[Camden Morgante · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grounded in attachment science, backed up in research, accessible book to understand how our attachment style affects our connection with God. I loved the exercises throughout.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

LOVED this book. The only reason I give it 4 stars is because I wish the author would’ve gone a bit deeper in the chapters and explored more topics within each chapter. I felt like I’ve been learning about a lot of these concepts and wished he went a bit deeper. Nonetheless it’s still an incredible book and is so unique, speaking about attachment theory and God and how those two connect. So many times I found myself nodding my head with the author and feeling so encouraged when I read his words. God is SO MUCH better than we think and it’s all about realizing how loved, held, and safe we are with Him.

[Rachel Hafler · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is incredible. Well-written, healing, and gentle. Mayfield discusses attachment styles and how they relate to our relationship with God and even offers concrete practices tailored to fit the different styles. I've never examined spirituality through this lens before and it has been wildly helpful to shift my perspective. This book is also especially helpful as I train to be a spiritual director and accompany others on their spiritual journeys.

[Adam Shields · Rating 4 out of 5]

Summary: Attachment style has an impact on the way you approach and interact with God.

I primarily am approaching this book from my role as a Spiritual Director, but as with many books about spiritual practices, there is also personal relevance.

Krispin Mayfield is a counselor adapting his understanding of Attachment Theory from his counseling background to an understanding of spiritual formation. This adaptation of social sciences to bring insight into our understanding of spiritual formation is immensely helpful, even if not every instance of it is perfect. Some examples are Stages of Faith by James Fowler, Trauma in the Pews: The Impact on Faith and Spiritual Practices by Janyne McConnaughey, and Something’s Not Right: Decoding the Hidden Tactics of Abuse–and Freeing Yourself from Its Power by Wade Mullen.

Many within the Christian world are distrustful of the social sciences. And there is a long history of the misuse of social sciences. But Christians should have a commitment to All Truth is God's Truth (a phrase coined by Augustine) and the idea of General Revelation while also understanding the role of discernment in discovering what truth is. The problem with many (but not all) critics of the use of social sciences in Christianity, and especially in understanding Christian formation, is that critics often do not have the background to understand what they oppose. That is where content area specialists like Mayfield can bring social sciences back to Christian practices more easily than theologians, pastors, or spritual directors can go out and learn the social science necessary to work out a similar idea.

The basic idea of Attachment Theory is not too difficult to communicate easily. Infants look to caregivers to understand the world around them. They form affectional bonds with those caregivers for needs like safety and protection. To maintain those bonds children learn responses to maintain those bonds. Mayfield clearly states that we should not draw too straight of a line between our attachment style and parents. Parents often do their best, but there can be reasons why different attachment styles develop other than bad parenting. But the theory also emphasizes why adoption, trauma, abuse, divorce, and other impacts on the parent/child relationship can significantly impact our lives.

One of the helpful threads on the fictional Starbridge series that I have been writing about is that almost all people have some issues with their relationship with their parents. And that often occurs even when parents try to do the best they can, and there is simple miscommunication or differences in temperament that create distance. Sometimes the very act of trying not to make the parents' mistakes can create new problems in a different direction.

There are three basic Attachment patterns,

Secure Attachment (which is the largest group of people),
Anxious Attachment is where there is a continuous concern about whether the connection is a good one. A more passive variation is where a person tends to shutdown when an anxiety is expressed. Or the second type, the Anxious-Avoidant, is where there is an active avoidance of situations where they can feel like they will be rejected as a means to avoid anxiousness around attachment. This second type is most associated with children whose needs were unmet or where there was neglect as opposed to more traditional abuse in the first time of anxious attachment.
Disorganized Attachment is where the attachment seems contradictory. This style was most associated with major loss and unresolved trauma.

Again, a person may move between the categories even if there is a more dominant mode. And there may not be explicit abuse or neglect in people who do not have a secure attachment style.

The book is particularly helpful in looking at our language and spiritual formation writing which seems to reflect less secure attachment styles. In discussing this, Mayfield says, "If you think about it, church history is full of spiritual heroes who focused on God above all else." (kindle location 911)

Or in another place,

Many Christian practices create ecosystems for perfectionism to grow, because on the surface the effort appears to flow from a deep relationship with God. While this spiritual insecurity can feel like a constant knot in your stomach, it may often bring applause from a church community. You always show up to Bible study having completed all the homework and with the best insights. You volunteer for three ministries at your church. You regularly read books about growing closer to God. You appear to be devout—and you are. But this devotion is driven by an underlying feeling that without spiritual activities, the connection will evaporate. Without regular routines, you doubt that God will stick around. (kindle location 983)

Mayfield points out that Anxious attachment styles find it difficult to relax in God's love and we are oriented toward what we need to do to maintain God's attention on us.

Mayfield is not only descriptive, he has many exercises and ideas about how to seek healing for a more secure attachment with God.

There are reasons to change and grow and heal and transform, but getting closer to God is not one of them. If we try to change ourselves because we fear disconnection, it won’t lead to healing. If we conclude that we are the problem, then we think the solution is to get rid of ourselves, often through self-destructive ways. (Kindle Location 1626)

While I found the book helpful in thinking about spiritual direction, the main personal benefit is being reminded to relax in God because God in the person of Jesus was not disgusted with humans but intentionally came to be with them.

Based on the popular teaching that God can’t stand sin, we’d expect that God would be disgusted with humans, especially those least holy in society. Surprisingly, when Jesus comes to earth, he doesn’t start puking everywhere. He’s not disgusted. He delights in people, loves spending time and sitting at tables with those who would never have been welcomed into the temple. Jesus, the perfect picture of God, delights in us. This doesn’t mean God’s not upset about harmful systems in the world—Jesus culled corruption from the temple by overturning tables. But clearly he delights in people, including those marginalized by oppressive religious structures. (Kindle Location 1691)

[Tamara · Rating 5 out of 5]

incredibly helpful in reframing relationship to god through our relationships to humans.
also, like a truly good teacher, i don't get any indication of which attachment style Krispin is - he presents them all with equal "we" language that draws in the reader and details all the harmful and helpful qualities of each style without judgement.

re-read in 2025: even more helpful than the first time, and this reading i was struck by all of the compassionate sweet stories about how Krispin responds to his own children, and reminded me of how my friends are all being similarly nurturing with their kids and breaking the cycle of insecure attachment with their kids.

[Damaris · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have tried diligently to engage with this book, but I am struggling with the author’s voice and perspective. There feels to be a large imbalance between the authors personal thoughts and perspectives (most of which are true!), yet there is little to none Scriptural or even substantiated grounding given. I was really hoping to glean from this read, but I think this imbalance is not right for me in this season.

[Leia Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

A friend asked me to read this, and I am not the audience. I hope the people who need this book find it, and moreover I hope they can escape the toxic theology that necessitates them reading this.

[Sydney Eshbaugh · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars — This book was really hard for me. Being a therapist who regularly comes from an attachment perspective made the first 5 chapters SO EXCITING because I don’t think attachment is talked about enough in the conversation of our experience of God. The first five chapters I genuinely do believe are a good outline of attachment, how it forms, how it affects us, and how it can affect our relationship with God. I was so hopeful of this being a good resource that I gave Mayfield the benefit of the doubt that maybe the reason he was undermining the impact of sin and the depravity of man was because he was trying to be gentle in discussing something as sensitive as attachment wounds with readers who aren’t sitting across from him. I was always put off by his lack of scripture usage, and usage of quotes from prominent theologians out of context to prove harsh and definitive claims about their theology, but again, I was excited so willing to look past it.

The last 5 chapters, however, unbiblical theology dominated. I cannot recommend reading the entirety of this book unless it is with another biblically sound believer to engage in conversation about it.

If I were to recommend this book, I would honestly recommend reading the first 5 chapters in community then putting it down and picking up Dane Ortlund’s “Gentle and Lowly”… I think that book much more accurately portrays the heart of Christ from the bible’s depiction but the insights on attachment and spirituality from this book could empower the experience of that book for the reader.

[Nicole H. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow-- this book is balm to the soul. I have struggled to read "spiritual" books lately due to feelings of intense shame between my relationship with God, and this book addressed exactly that phenomenon. The book combines spirituality with modern attachment theory, explaining how we as Christians may have an anxious, shutdown, or shame-filled attachment to God. A particular highlight of the book was the "Untangling Evangelicalism" sections-- the author quotes snippets from popular Christian authors, who rather unintentionally may have contributed to our anxious/shutdown attachment styles. For anyone who has struggled with feelings of anxiety or shame in your faith, this book is a God-send and absolute relief to read.

[Daniel Hernández · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book!

Some quotes:

"Spiritual bypass is what happens when we avoid dealing with difficult emotions, trauma, or other challenging parts of life. Instead, we rely on spiritual concepts or platitudes such as “God won’t give you more than you can handle” and “When God closes a door, he opens a window.” It’s not only clichés that are used; standalone Bible verses also fit the bill. During hard times we shove down our anxiety by reminding ourselves that “God works for the good of those who love him,”3 trusting that everything will turn out fine. All the while, we try to forget that the man who penned those words, the apostle Paul, was repeatedly beaten, imprisoned, stoned, and eventually executed."

"She [i.e. Hagar] calls God “El Roi,” which means “the God who sees.” Hagar, who feels felt, says, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” She knows that she matters to God, having a sense that her experience resonates with God, and she feels the resonance. She feels a connection of closeness and care. Here we learn the story of a God who yearns to draw close and be with us in our turbulent times."

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars - helpful interdisciplinary application to connect attachment science to our relationship with God. A lot to consider both in my spiritual life and attachment style/proclivities to shame. Ultimately couldn’t go all the way to five stars in part because some of the shame-based messages are SO ingrained that I can’t help but saying “yes this sounds right buuuut I can’t be sure,” and while I 100% buy his psychology credentials, jury is out on the theology either until Heath reads it or I can spend a few months (years?) unpacking for myself. 🙃

[Laura W · Rating 5 out of 5]

Y’all. This is such an important book. I have been on a journey of healing my view of Jesus for about 12 years now. Twelve years and I’m still unlearning toxic theology and tending to its wounds. It’s extremely maddening. So this book has been a compassionate witness — “of course you’re angry.” “Of course you long for security, of course you’re starving for rest.” Thank you, Krispin, for the information, the exercises, and the imagination in this book. Thanks for sharing so much of your own story and inviting us to explore ours.

I highly recommend this book to everyone who’s ever journeyed with Jesus!

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 // Attachment theory has greatly shaped my approach to and understanding of parenting in the last five years. And parenting itself has greatly reshaped my understanding of God’s posture towards us, as his children. So the two concepts naturally pair well, and touch on something so core to our relationships - both vertical and horizontal. Something vital and worth pursuing.

I found Krispin’s words to be healing and clarifying, gradually assembling puzzle pieces that I’ve recently been struggling to fit together. I believe I’ll be able to look back in a year or two and see this book as a milestone on the journey.

The last few minutes of the audiobook had me choking back tears, and seeking out my copy of C. S. Lewis’ Last Battle from my bookshelf. Something I’ll be thinking on for a long time.

[Dave Lester · Rating 4 out of 5]

Therapist and now author Krispin Mayfield dives into attachment science with the application of using these ideas regarding our relationship to God. He writes about how we can have shame based attachments, shutdown attachments and anxious attachments from our religious upbringings which are often based on either toxic theology or well-meaning theology that has hurt people. Mayfield wants to redirect our attention to a God that created all of us very good (in Genesis) and delights in all the children of God. I definitely recommend checking this book out.

[Taryn Nergaard · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't often rate books anymore because I don't like the pressure. But I had to rate this one. It's one of the best, most helpful books I've read in recent years.

[Jennifer Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

I definitely related to the anxious and shame attachment styles described in this book, as I’m sure MANY in the church do because these underlying messages are often communicated as the “path” to being a devoted Christian, as Mayfield describes throughout the book. Interestingly, deconstruction and my recent discovery of the contemplative tradition has felt incredibly freeing (and led to my spiritual life growing more than it has in decades!) because it propelled me into a more secure attachment style. It was very interesting putting these pieces together while reading this book.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rating: 5 stars of 5 (Review from my blog.)

Attached to God was written by licensed professional counselor, Krispin Mayfield. In it, he explores the idea that the attachment styles often referenced in the psychology field also show up in the ways we relate to and interact with God.

We are introduced to three different attachment styles in the book: anxious, shame-filled, and shutdown styles, and are asked to take a brief quiz to determine which spiritual attachment style seems to be our predominant one. Each type is then described in depth so the reader can learn more about how the styles tend to manifest in a person’s spiritual life. Secure attachment is also explored as we learn to recognize healthy versus unhealthy emotional and behavioral patterns.

One of the things that was really interesting to me as I read was that as I learned about unhealthy aspects of certain attachment styles, I recognized symptoms of those styles as having been present in the ways that churches I have attended in the past approached ministry, teaching, relating to people…even their theology and worship styles. That the kinds of narratives used to uphold inaccurate teaching in church settings can stem from unhealthy attachment styles was something I found both fascinating and heartbreaking. It really emphasized the importance of having spiritually and emotionally healthy people in leadership positions that involve preaching or teaching. When we are in those positions as emotionally unhealthy people, we often export our own heart sickness to other people the same way we would spread a bacteria or virus. I was able to connect a lot of the bad fruit we are seeing in churches to unhealthy attachment styles as I read this book.

I found the book personally relevant as well, and appreciated that for each unhealthy attachment style, Krispin provided tools for reframing our thinking, implementing healthier spiritual practices, and learning to live from a place of belovedness that can then spill over into our interactions with others.

There were a few times that I had follow-up questions about something in the book or didn’t end up in the same place the author had, but overall, I really appreciated the conversation this book brought to the table and would highly recommend it to other people of faith. It is challenging yet gentle, insightful, and offers a lot for us to think about as we continue to grow. I found it to be a very helpful read.

In chapter six, the author asks: “What has your heritage given you? Have you been given distorted pictures of God that feel like heavy burdens you can hardly carry? How have these distortions harmed marginalized people or perpetuated injustice, rather than eradicated it? Have you felt the longing for a clear picture of a God who really has good news for everyone?” If those questions resonate with you, I highly recommend this book.

[Joy Matteson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this practical, fascinating, and illuminating look into the science of attachment in relation to how humans have related to God. If you're not familiar with attachment parenting or attachment relationships, Mayfield really breaks it down easily for the reader to give a sense of how one's primary relationship echoes our primary spiritual relationship, and there is some real compelling stuff here.
I don't think I've read too many authors who pointed out big theologians like Piper, Spurgeon and Tozer to assess their anxious/shame filled attachment styles and how the repercussions of such anxious attachment to God carries such toxic weight.
Recommended for any folks who don't think "deconstruction" is a dirty word, and who long to understand their relationship with God a little more deeply.