Let's Talk about Polygamy

by Brittany Chapman Nash

Polygamy has raised questions for many modern Latter-day Saints. Let’s Talk about Polygamy, written by historian Brittany Chapman Nash, offers a candid and engaging history of polygamy in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints through the voices of those who practiced it. Nash helps readers understand not only the facts and chronological story of polygamy but also the how and why. Why did Latter-day Saints embrace polygamy? How did it work? And what does the history of polygamy mean for Church members today?

While outlining the known history of polygamy among the Saints, Nash explores sensitive issues, such as how and why Joseph Smith introduced the practice, his wife Emma Hale Smith’s response to it, and the origins of the plural marriage revelation (today known as Doctrine and Covenants 132). The book also examines how polygamy evolved and affected the Saints in Utah and in the wake of anti-polygamy legislation. The Saints had varying experiences with polygamy—some positive, others not—and through the use of original sources, Nash allows the participants themselves to give voice to the breadth of the Saints’ thoughts and feelings. Though some aspects of the practice of polygamy may never be fully understood, the examples of sacrifice, conviction, and commitment to the gospel from the Saints who practiced it may help readers find understanding and reconciliation and ultimately strengthen their own faith.

Genres: Religion, History, Audiobook, Church, Lds, Nonfiction, Mormonism

154 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 26, 2021

Reviews

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Back in 2006, I had my first major faith crisis, centered around the position of women in my religion, past and present. I particularly was grappling with the polygamy in our history. As I was wrestling with this, I had a life-altering flash of revelation - for all my angst about it, I had never once in my life read what one of these women had to say about her experiences or her life. In fact, if you asked me to even come up with the names of five of them, I couldn't do it. I realized that if I was going to experience angst, I should really have a better understanding of what I had angst about, and who I was feeling it on behalf of.

My journey to learn about these women was a wild ride, let me tell you. Let's just say books like this didn't exist back then, and most of the people writing about it at the time had an axe to grind. I basically pieced together my understanding of this practice one woman's story at a time, gathering history books and article collections through interlibrary loan, reading old Utah women's newspapers, reading people's family history stories, any little scrap I could get my hands on in a small college town in Indiana. I saw all kinds of good, bad, and really ugly things connected to the experience. And shockingly, these women's stories were exactly what I needed to learn how to deal with spiritual complexity in my own life. I found surprisingly empowered and imminently capable and articulate women, learning to navigate really messy and painful questions of faith, creating lives of beauty and purpose despite all the unknown and the sorrow. These complicated women spoke to me in a way that the picture-perfect angel mother ideal never did.

I'm so happy that when this generation of women come up against the same questions I did, they have someone as wise and frank as Brittany Chapman Nash to guide them through. I would have benefitted so much from a framework to move within as I went on my journey, as well as a model for a faithful person who knew the history inside and out and came out the other end with a stronger testimony.

This book is succinct and well-organized; it shoves nothing under the rug to make the church look better, nor does it have an axe to grind; it is primary-source heavy and lets women share their own experiences as much as possible; it highlights the surprising diversity of experiences women had connected to the practice, providing counter examples to a lot of the stories told; it has confidence in the reader's ability to make their own decisions about this very complicated history; and I love the respect she feels for the strength of these women as they lived their faith to the best of their ability.

Highly recommended to anyone that wants a deeper understanding of what on Earth actually went down in the early church.

[Lindsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been wanting to learn more about this time in church history because, quite honestly, it was hard for me to understand the purpose behind it. I really appreciated the unbiased views and experiences written in other "Let's Talk About" books so I decided to give this one a try. Although I still don't understand everything, I do feel like I know more and especially loved reading the accounts from the women who lived it. It gave me a greater perspective on the "why" and "how" of polygamy, and makes me less uncomfortable when discussing it with others. Overall, a very good read for anyone wanting to understand it a little more.

[Kelsie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A concise historical perspective on polygamy as it was lived and experienced by members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Faith-based without being apologist or sugar-coating. I appreciated the additional perspectives it offered on both sides.

[Abby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely fantastic summary and analysis on polygamy.

[Vicki Matheson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Clear, easy, and quick to read through. Polygamy is not my favorite subject to study, but I thought that the author did a great job with such a complicated topic.

[Melarie Wheat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Accessible honest overview of the history of polygamy in the early LDS church. Many members are uncomfortable learning about this subject, but I think we should all be knowledgeable about this part of our doctrine and history. Chapman Nash does a good job in a short amount of space covering the many complexities. She says that every polygamist family’s experience differed based on many factors, so it’s impossible to just make generalizations on what polygamy was like. She includes many perspectives of both good and bad experiences with polygamy. She doesn’t delve too much into how polygamy lingered after the manifesto which I would love to also read more about. For a more in depth look at polygamy in the LDS church I’d recommend Laurel Thatcher’s “A House Full of Women” which is longer and able to go more in depth.

[Melanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Talk about a loaded and complicated subject. A friend has been reading and sharing with me some anti material and I wanted a different perspective. This has always been an uncomfortable subject and I appreciated learning more. I especially appreciated hearing what men and women recorded about it and how it felt for them to live or not live this principle.

[Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good, quick overview of polygamy in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I especially appreciated the insights into the lived experience of those in plural marriages. It wasn’t all heavenly and it wasn’t all debased debauchery. Pretty much, we see the full spectrum of outcomes that we see in monogamous marriages at the time.

Chapman Nash invites LDSs to “gain strength from our polygamist past.” (111) She suggests we talk about it, discarding our shame and embarrassment about the practice. I love these suggestions. I think LDSs should have much more devotional content drawn from the women who lived plural marriage.

I have two critiques. First, Chapman Nash completely avoided how marriage, specifically plural marriage, played into the racial temple and priesthood ban. I get that there’s a separate book in this series on that sensitive topic, but since the two are intertwined it’d be worth mentioning here, even if only briefly. I know I was floored when I read Petrey’s Tabernacles of Clay and discovered just how much Church leaders fears of interracial marriage played into their continued support for the ban.

Second, I could’ve used a little more information about the Saints who didn’t live polygamy. We get one sentence about William Law, the member of the First Presidency who broke with Joseph Smith over plural marriage and left the Church, but I could’ve used at least a paragraph. Were there others who acted similarly? We also get a section in Chapter 9 about two couples who chose not to live polygamy, but I didn’t get a sense for whether their stories were representative of the approximately 60+% of Latter-day Saints that were not in a plural marriage family during this time frame.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve always had questions regarding polygamy within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, especially being a descendant from the fifth wife of a polygamist family back when it was practiced. This book has helped answer many of those questions and has helped me understand scripture around it as well. It emphasizes that there were good experiences as well as bad. Some practiced faithfully with honor and some abused it. For some it strengthened them and others ended in divorce. The author references everything and has entered many journal writing throughout to give personal perspective of those that experienced polygamy or lived around it and some that even rejected it. Even Joseph Smith rejected it at first. Imagine being told by God to do something you don’t want to do and then try to figure out how to obey him and make it work somehow in a dignified way in an area that rejected the idea by law. The book also explains that in some lands and other religions plural marriage was and still is acceptable and practiced. Scriptures state that having more than one wife is an abomination to the Lord unless he deems it necessary for a time! That time has come and gone many times both in scripture and in Latter Days. This book was very enlightening to me.

[Katie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nash starts out explaining that her motivation for writing this book was to delve into the real life experiences of people who actually practiced this custom - to dig under the surface of trite explanations and simplistic explanations for this part of LDS history that are usually given. I just don't think she succeeded. She did cite women's recorded experiences, but any time those veered at all into the negative, she would immediately counteract it with a familiar platitude about having faith, etc. In short, this was no critical analysis of polygamy. It was a church talk about polygamy, if such things were allowed. It glossed and patted and looked with half closed eyes at just the surface. However, it was interesting to learn that divorce was so prevalent among polygamous families, giving Utah one of the highest divorce rates in the nation at the time. No fault divorce was a thing long before it wasn't.

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

A well-researched and written history of polygamy in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I especially appreciate Nash’s use of primary sources and the words and records of those who experienced the practice—ended in 1890, within the Church of Jesus Christ.

This is a difficult, often charged, and mis-understood subject of discussion, even among descendants of polygamous ancestors. I believe the author has presented the topic evenly—the varying beliefs and levels of commitment to the practice, some of which worked amazingly well, and others which did not.

I look forward to further research into the sources referenced, particularly the ‘Manti study’, where I am currently researching a non-polygamous family, and the perspective of a doctor specialising in “women’s issues”, when so much of the community was practicing polygamy.

[Maggie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not my favorite topic… but a good analysis. I loved hearing the direct quotes from so many saints with such a variety of experiences. I would have appreciated more details on the Nauvoo period - I feel like important points were omitted due to it being a summary only. On the other hand, I learned a ton about the period right before the manifesto. Overall, I wish she had taken the subject on chronologically rather than topically.
It’s hard to imagine ever feeling settled on this topic. It’s so complex. But I’m glad to have read this book, the biggest takeaway being a deeper respect for the sacrifice and a deeper desire to honor those who made it.

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, this book is really wonderful. Nash does an incredible job of presenting polygamy with all of the good and bad in a way that you can understand it. I felt my testimony strengthened that God loves His children and is guiding them. Although not all of my questions were answered (because we just don’t know all of the answers), I felt a lot of peace. I also feel a greater appreciation for those saints who practiced polygamy. I feel like I have a better and clearer understanding of the practice. The book is well-written, informative, and inspiring. Anyone who has questions about polygamy should read this book.

[Audrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very well researched and well written. She writes about people's varied experiences with polygamy through the voices of those who lived it. Some had rich, spiritual and happy experiences living this law, others did not, and I think that Nash represents both groups fairly. This book expanded what I understood about polygamy. I appreciate that Nash writes about all of this from a place of faith, and she does not pass judgements about the people she wrote about. At the same time, she does not hide the parts about this law that were/are painful for some. I would recommend it to any Latter-day Saint looking to understand this topic better.

[Elizabeth Reid · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book covers so so so much about the subject of polygamy in the early Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I appreciated how many primary sources the author used and also what a great job she did in not showing bias. She showed the good, the hard, the blessings, and the trials for those living in polygamy. She talked about divorce, loneliness, poverty, martial happiness, sisterhood, and independent women. It's crazy how much I learned from this little book. I highly recommend it to anyone curious about what polygamy was like for those who lived it

[Nathan C · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought it was a great overview of the topic. Nash goes through what we do and do not know better than I have experienced before. She tries hard to display the different struggles and benefits experienced by those who practiced polygamy, at least within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (there is almost nothing about other groups). I particularly appreciate her dispelling of certain myths that I have heard most of my life. It is a great foundational source to understand polygamy in the context of church history.

[Doug · Rating 3 out of 5]

Such a fraught topic - with plenty of opportunity to clash, argue, pontificate. I think the author makes an honest effort to provide both sides - recognizing the difficulty and faith involved along with the challenges which were both met for some and not for others. Perhaps more could have been done to recognize the downside - the misuse/abuse of polygamy, but this is a small format (size & page count) and I think it’s a challenge to do an even handed approach. Polemics have already been done - this is a higher level overview that, for me, was worthwhile.

[Bryant Condie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A tough choice explained

This book is an excellent choice for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter -Day Saints or anyone else who wants to better understand plural marriage as practiced by the early members of the church. The book is well researched and documented, and very readable. I have more peace now about this part of church history. The author asks us to honor the sacrifice of the early Saints because they have already given it. I can do that.

[Matthew · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very well-written book that nicely summarizes the origins and practice of plural marriage in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints during the nineteenth century (the LDS Church no longer practices polygamy). I felt the author handled the hard issues this topic inevitably raises with candor and empathy to both the historical people who practiced it as well as modern readers who feel uncomfortable by it. I absolutely recommend this book.

[Cheyenne Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a really interesting and well written book. It's concise, but well researched. I think the author did a great job being straightforward and matter-of-fact, as well as writing about a wide range of experiences of people who were polygamists. I particularly enjoyed the first hand accounts/snippets of people's thoughts and experiences with plural marriage. It was fascinating to read about both the positive and negative stories and aspects of this history.

[Krystle · Rating 3 out of 5]

There was not much new about the topic other than several first hand accounts that I haven't read before. (I have studied this extensively prior to reading this book.) I guess I was hoping for something that is impossible to find when it comes to polygamy, which is understanding God's ways and reasons. I rest in gratitude and confidence that I do not have to participate in order to return to my Heavenly Father.

[Gmbretzing · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve read a few books on LDS polygamy and always learn something new. Didn’t know Brigham Young and a few other early prophets were divorced. This quote made me physically sick: “Latter-Day Saints perceived a great hypocrisy between accusations that they were sexually immoral while the sexual indiscretions of Victorian men were, at that time, figuratively swept under the rug. Apostle Orson Pratt suggested that plural marriage was an antidote to fornication and adultery.”

[Brian · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the audio book, narrated by someone other than the author.

Wonderful survey of a complex topic in a small volume. Great synopsis of the who, what, where, and whys. Best features are the breadth of personal experiences researched and shared in this book, concluding that it is impossible to generalize what people experienced, since the experiences were so broad.

If you are looking for a concise history of Polygamy in the 19th century, this is it!

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great addition to the "Let's Talk About..." series. If you have studied this part of Church history, there is nothing new in this book. But the how's and why's are all clearly, if briefly, laid out here. It is important to read the actual words, journals, and testimonies of those who made this sacrifice before passing judgement - especially female voices. Highly recommend!

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been wanting to read this collection of books dealing with difficult Gospel topics (Let’s Talk About… series). As I’m studying Church History this year, this is one of my personal pressing topics. It does help to hear 1st hand accounts of women & men who lived the “principle” but I’m still really grateful that this is no longer our practice.

[Mallory · Rating 4 out of 5]

Provided a lot of perspectives and first hand accounts, which was really interesting. The commandment of plural marriage was definitely a huge trial for most. I’m very very glad that whatever the Lord’s purposes were during that time (which we still don’t really know) that it’s done.

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd actually give this book 3.75 stars. This book was mentioned on a podcast I listened to a few years back. A friend loaned me the book and I was interested to read it. It was more of a scientific paper but was quite interesting. It was interesting to learn the history of that era.

[Jeff Crosby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like the other volumes in this series, this is an overview, designed to answer general questions. It is not intended to be comprehensive. The strength of the book is the extensive use of first person histories and journals, largely female.

[David J. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book tackling an aspect of my faith that is often difficult to explain and understand. I appreciate the history, the examples, quotes, etc. It really helped me wrap my arms around it a bit better.

[Elizabeth Ricks · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book gave some great information about polygamy, but it didn't really answers the questions that I have.