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How to Fall Out of Love Madly
Three women confront the compromises they've made to appease the men they love.
Joy and Annie are friends and roommates whose thirty-something lives aren't exactly what they'd imagined. To make ends meet, they decide to rent their extra bedroom to Theo, who charms Joy with his salt-and-pepper hair and adoration of their one-eyed cat. When Annie goes to live with her boyfriend, Theo and Joy settle into a comfortable domesticity. Then Theo brings home Celine, the girlfriend he's never mentioned, who is possibly the most stunning woman Joy has ever seen. Joy resolves to do whatever it takes to hold on to him, falling ever deeper into an emotional hellscape of her own making. She is too obsessed to realize that Celine's beauty doesn't protect her from pain. Haunted by an event from her past, Celine can't escape her shame and finds herself in an endless cycle of self-sabotage.
Annie is baffled by Joy's senseless devotion to Theo, but she's consumed by her own obsessions: she can't stop parsing her commitment-phobic boyfriend's texts in an exhausting mission to maintain his approval. At work, where she fully embraces her natural assertiveness, Annie is a star. But when an anonymous letter lands on her desk accusing her esteemed and supportive boss of sexual misconduct, she is forced to decide who and what she's willing to stand up for.
Perceptive, mordantly funny, and full of heart, How to Fall Out of Love Madly examines women's many relationships--with one another, their mothers, their work, men, and themselves--to reveal their underlying power and complexity. It asks, why do so many smart, compassionate, otherwise empowered women tolerate egregious behavior from the men they love? And what will it take for them to reclaim control?
Joy and Annie are friends and roommates whose thirty-something lives aren't exactly what they'd imagined. To make ends meet, they decide to rent their extra bedroom to Theo, who charms Joy with his salt-and-pepper hair and adoration of their one-eyed cat. When Annie goes to live with her boyfriend, Theo and Joy settle into a comfortable domesticity. Then Theo brings home Celine, the girlfriend he's never mentioned, who is possibly the most stunning woman Joy has ever seen. Joy resolves to do whatever it takes to hold on to him, falling ever deeper into an emotional hellscape of her own making. She is too obsessed to realize that Celine's beauty doesn't protect her from pain. Haunted by an event from her past, Celine can't escape her shame and finds herself in an endless cycle of self-sabotage.
Annie is baffled by Joy's senseless devotion to Theo, but she's consumed by her own obsessions: she can't stop parsing her commitment-phobic boyfriend's texts in an exhausting mission to maintain his approval. At work, where she fully embraces her natural assertiveness, Annie is a star. But when an anonymous letter lands on her desk accusing her esteemed and supportive boss of sexual misconduct, she is forced to decide who and what she's willing to stand up for.
Perceptive, mordantly funny, and full of heart, How to Fall Out of Love Madly examines women's many relationships--with one another, their mothers, their work, men, and themselves--to reveal their underlying power and complexity. It asks, why do so many smart, compassionate, otherwise empowered women tolerate egregious behavior from the men they love? And what will it take for them to reclaim control?
352 pages, Hardcover
First published August 2, 2022
650 people are currently reading
57965 people want to read
About the author
Jana Casale
2 books230 followersJANA CASALE has a BFA in fiction from Emerson College and an MSt in creative writing from Oxford. Originally from Lexington, Massachusetts, she currently resides in San Francisco with her husband. The Girl Who Never Read Noam Chomsky is her first novel.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,681 reviews
April 11, 2024
i like an unlikable protagonist, but it turns out i can't stand 3 miserable ones.
for me, the experience of being alive as a woman isn't defined solely by hating my body, or by thinking about men, or by hating other women. i have moments of all of those, sure, but they don't make up a significant part of my life. let alone the majority of my experience. let alone all of it!
in the universe of this book, that's all women have.
we have three perspectives and they are all the same: just absolute victims of patriarchy, with the same voice, living the same experience. one looks like emrata, one is thin with "bad boobs," one is fat, but all three are obsessed with their bodies and male validation and nothing else.
there's a lot this book is trying to do, but it overplays its hand a all of it. creating three of the exact same character to do the same thing in an over the top and nonrelatable way and facing down an abrupt and meaningless ending doesn't work for me even from that standpoint.
beyond that, the writing grated on me: all thoughts are merciless or relentless. people are both nervous and worried. skin is knotty and bumpy. this stacked adjectives on top of each other to see what sticks.
the answer to what sticks is my frustration, even reviewing this a month after the fact.
bottom line: i love women! i love being alive! i wish this book did too.
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tbr review
this sounds more interesting to me than the alternative
for me, the experience of being alive as a woman isn't defined solely by hating my body, or by thinking about men, or by hating other women. i have moments of all of those, sure, but they don't make up a significant part of my life. let alone the majority of my experience. let alone all of it!
in the universe of this book, that's all women have.
we have three perspectives and they are all the same: just absolute victims of patriarchy, with the same voice, living the same experience. one looks like emrata, one is thin with "bad boobs," one is fat, but all three are obsessed with their bodies and male validation and nothing else.
there's a lot this book is trying to do, but it overplays its hand a all of it. creating three of the exact same character to do the same thing in an over the top and nonrelatable way and facing down an abrupt and meaningless ending doesn't work for me even from that standpoint.
beyond that, the writing grated on me: all thoughts are merciless or relentless. people are both nervous and worried. skin is knotty and bumpy. this stacked adjectives on top of each other to see what sticks.
the answer to what sticks is my frustration, even reviewing this a month after the fact.
bottom line: i love women! i love being alive! i wish this book did too.
------------------
tbr review
this sounds more interesting to me than the alternative
February 15, 2022
Things I’ve learned:
1. Men ain’t shit.
2. I need to see a therapist
Women struggling with life in their late twenties to early thirties is my new favourite genre. While it does often hit too close to home, there’s always something comforting in knowing that I’m not alone. Knowing that my experiences in life can happen to other people and that we all react in different ways and we’re just straight up not having a good time.
I loved this and I never wanted it to end. I could have read about Joy, Annie and Celine for hundreds of more pages and never gotten bored. These characters were so nuanced and sad, but also full of hope and love and optimism.
1. Men ain’t shit.
2. I need to see a therapist
Women struggling with life in their late twenties to early thirties is my new favourite genre. While it does often hit too close to home, there’s always something comforting in knowing that I’m not alone. Knowing that my experiences in life can happen to other people and that we all react in different ways and we’re just straight up not having a good time.
I loved this and I never wanted it to end. I could have read about Joy, Annie and Celine for hundreds of more pages and never gotten bored. These characters were so nuanced and sad, but also full of hope and love and optimism.
March 6, 2023
'women going through shit in their 20s/30s' genre >>>
June 18, 2022
every single character in this book was so infuriating. they all need therapy
September 13, 2022
Now, I don’t want to be too harsh because I do think this novel is well intentioned, but anyone who compared this book to Fleabag or Sally Rooney can go to hell. It is neither funny & insightful, nor beautiful written. There are 352 pages and 3 female main characters and I’m not even sure it passes the Bechdel test.
This book surrounds 3 women whose lives are oppressed by the men in them - from shitty boyfriends to sleazy bosses. Good premise, and something I usually gravitate towards, but this just missed the mark for me. It felt like this book was meant to be some profound comment on sexism today, but it also felt like the author hasn’t really done much deep thinking about the topic. It is very white-feminism-in-2002 and I think we can do a lot better in 2022. The insights are all very surface level and don’t capture anywhere near the breadth of the female experience. The characters are constantly reflecting on how men suck, but are also so interested in having a nuclear-ever-after. None of them are independent women and none of them have good relationships with other women. The author has tried to make the 3 protagonist different by making one meek & slightly fat, one mean & skinny, and one very hot, but that isn’t the diversity we want nor need!!
The writing was quick and easy, but I was not impressed by it and was frankly shocked at the end when I read that the author has a Masters in Creative Writing from Oxford??
2.5 stars
This book surrounds 3 women whose lives are oppressed by the men in them - from shitty boyfriends to sleazy bosses. Good premise, and something I usually gravitate towards, but this just missed the mark for me. It felt like this book was meant to be some profound comment on sexism today, but it also felt like the author hasn’t really done much deep thinking about the topic. It is very white-feminism-in-2002 and I think we can do a lot better in 2022. The insights are all very surface level and don’t capture anywhere near the breadth of the female experience. The characters are constantly reflecting on how men suck, but are also so interested in having a nuclear-ever-after. None of them are independent women and none of them have good relationships with other women. The author has tried to make the 3 protagonist different by making one meek & slightly fat, one mean & skinny, and one very hot, but that isn’t the diversity we want nor need!!
The writing was quick and easy, but I was not impressed by it and was frankly shocked at the end when I read that the author has a Masters in Creative Writing from Oxford??
2.5 stars
March 27, 2022
Packed with Millennial angst and discomfort and I could not get enough of it! Give this woman an award!!!
This is going to be the darling of millennial reads this year and trust me, you will not be disappointed. If you are a fan of Sally Rooney, Brandon Taylor’s REAL LIFE, MY YEAR OF REST AND RELAXATION and SORROW AND BLISS you are going to absolutely enjoy this beautifully, well done debut novel.
HOW TO FALL OUT OF LOVE MADLY is told from the perspective of Joy, Annie and Celine- millennial women working and living in a city trying their best to hit their fantom life goals that was pressed on them by society. Joy and Annie are friends and roommates living together but still aren’t able to cover their rent even though they hold down steady jobs that they enjoy doing. In an attempt to keep their rental, they decide to get third roommate and in walks Theo who charms them and becomes a part of their home life. After months of hinting Annie’s boyfriend finally ask her to move in so the trio now becomes a duo, but Joy doesn’t mind because now she’s got Theo to herself.
Joy starts spending a lot of time with Theo and ends up falling for him, only for him to show up a few weeks later with the most stunning woman Joy has ever seen and introduces her as his girlfriend. Joy is shook but figures if she puts her best foot forward he will miraculously fall for her.
Celine has been told all her life she is stunning but doesn’t really believe it. Yes, she’s reaped so many opportunities because of pretty privilege but she still doesn’t feel confident in herself.
Annie moved in with her boyfriend, she thinks this is what she wants but finds herself putting on this “easy breezy cool girlfriend” act that she may not be able to keep up. She wants commitment, but does she want it from her boyfriend?
Relatable, entertaining, fully and unforgettable the lives of Celine, Joy and Annie examines what it can be like for a millennial woman dating, looking for love and to grow in their career. A lot the scenes in this book was so relatable and cringy I could feel myself getting secondhand embarrassment from it. Yes there were some insanely frustrating moments, especially how the women were treated by the men- I actually wanted to SCREAM but I guess that goes back to how well written this book is. We see how these women grapple with the stage they are in their lives- the need to grow in their career, be closer to their family, to get more money and to be hit those societal markers.
A novel I won’t soon forget.
One time I had a friend say that if a man says something mean to you about your body it’s like a hate crime. At first, I thought that was stupid, reckless even, but I know what she meant.
Work hierarchy in generally was something she found to be unnecessary cruel, and so when she had the chance she would do her best to rebel against it
I think something you have to remember is that people bring everything with them to work and they try to hold everything away.
This is going to be the darling of millennial reads this year and trust me, you will not be disappointed. If you are a fan of Sally Rooney, Brandon Taylor’s REAL LIFE, MY YEAR OF REST AND RELAXATION and SORROW AND BLISS you are going to absolutely enjoy this beautifully, well done debut novel.
HOW TO FALL OUT OF LOVE MADLY is told from the perspective of Joy, Annie and Celine- millennial women working and living in a city trying their best to hit their fantom life goals that was pressed on them by society. Joy and Annie are friends and roommates living together but still aren’t able to cover their rent even though they hold down steady jobs that they enjoy doing. In an attempt to keep their rental, they decide to get third roommate and in walks Theo who charms them and becomes a part of their home life. After months of hinting Annie’s boyfriend finally ask her to move in so the trio now becomes a duo, but Joy doesn’t mind because now she’s got Theo to herself.
Joy starts spending a lot of time with Theo and ends up falling for him, only for him to show up a few weeks later with the most stunning woman Joy has ever seen and introduces her as his girlfriend. Joy is shook but figures if she puts her best foot forward he will miraculously fall for her.
Celine has been told all her life she is stunning but doesn’t really believe it. Yes, she’s reaped so many opportunities because of pretty privilege but she still doesn’t feel confident in herself.
Annie moved in with her boyfriend, she thinks this is what she wants but finds herself putting on this “easy breezy cool girlfriend” act that she may not be able to keep up. She wants commitment, but does she want it from her boyfriend?
Relatable, entertaining, fully and unforgettable the lives of Celine, Joy and Annie examines what it can be like for a millennial woman dating, looking for love and to grow in their career. A lot the scenes in this book was so relatable and cringy I could feel myself getting secondhand embarrassment from it. Yes there were some insanely frustrating moments, especially how the women were treated by the men- I actually wanted to SCREAM but I guess that goes back to how well written this book is. We see how these women grapple with the stage they are in their lives- the need to grow in their career, be closer to their family, to get more money and to be hit those societal markers.
A novel I won’t soon forget.
One time I had a friend say that if a man says something mean to you about your body it’s like a hate crime. At first, I thought that was stupid, reckless even, but I know what she meant.
Work hierarchy in generally was something she found to be unnecessary cruel, and so when she had the chance she would do her best to rebel against it
I think something you have to remember is that people bring everything with them to work and they try to hold everything away.
September 5, 2022
This book is told from the viewpoints of three women: Joy, Annie, and Celine. Joy and Annie are roommates in their thirties barely making ends meet. Annie’s boyfriend has yet to ask her to move in with her (she has been waiting and waiting). So, they put out an ad looking for an additional roommate and get some hits. But, they mutually agree on one candidate, Theo, who quickly becomes their new roomie.
Whelp, this salt and pepper haired man does something for Joy because soon enough, she falls head over heels for him. She absolutely caters to this man, to the point of even doing his laundry and making his lunches for work (despite the fact that they have crossed no lines and are simply just roommates). Soon enough, Annie’s boyfriend finally asks her to move in with him. So now, it is just Joy and Theo…until Theo brings home the most picture-perfect woman Joy has ever seen and introduces her as his girlfriend. Celine.
Celine is still not over her ex even though she does not vocalize this to Theo. So, the story goes on with Joy critiquing every move that Celine and Theo make.
Where do I begin with this? There is not ONE character in this book that I liked. These are the most insecure women ever and they frustrated me so bad. I was completely bored with this book. Yes, the book portrays how society puts so much emphasis on beauty and all the insecurities that women have faced over the years because of it. But it was downright depressing, a very heavy read. Snap out of it ladies, grow some self-worth. I kept on reading in hopes that all three of these women would make dramatic changes in their lives but that just was not the case. I really do not know how to say this other than this book just did not do it for me. I enjoy books with women as lead characters, women’s rights, feminist characters…but this one was a miss for me.
Thank you to Goodreads and the author for my copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Whelp, this salt and pepper haired man does something for Joy because soon enough, she falls head over heels for him. She absolutely caters to this man, to the point of even doing his laundry and making his lunches for work (despite the fact that they have crossed no lines and are simply just roommates). Soon enough, Annie’s boyfriend finally asks her to move in with him. So now, it is just Joy and Theo…until Theo brings home the most picture-perfect woman Joy has ever seen and introduces her as his girlfriend. Celine.
Celine is still not over her ex even though she does not vocalize this to Theo. So, the story goes on with Joy critiquing every move that Celine and Theo make.
Where do I begin with this? There is not ONE character in this book that I liked. These are the most insecure women ever and they frustrated me so bad. I was completely bored with this book. Yes, the book portrays how society puts so much emphasis on beauty and all the insecurities that women have faced over the years because of it. But it was downright depressing, a very heavy read. Snap out of it ladies, grow some self-worth. I kept on reading in hopes that all three of these women would make dramatic changes in their lives but that just was not the case. I really do not know how to say this other than this book just did not do it for me. I enjoy books with women as lead characters, women’s rights, feminist characters…but this one was a miss for me.
Thank you to Goodreads and the author for my copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
August 11, 2022
3.7??
i have so much to say about this story and i don’t quite know how to say it.
i found myself so annoyed with these women immediately and i hated them and their insecurities and the way that they let them rule their lives, but i think i hated them because i’m no better than them and that’s not pleasant to realize.
this book made me face so much internalized misogyny and it reminded me so much of the show “girls” and how that show made me feel about such realistic portrayals of women. it’s uncomfortable to read how insufferable we can be.
this is not a plot driven book, this is a book about women struggling and finding themselves in a little blip of their lives, and i debated giving it less stars but that seems unfair considering i can’t shut the fuck up about it.
this is a good book. i’m happy for them.
i have so much to say about this story and i don’t quite know how to say it.
i found myself so annoyed with these women immediately and i hated them and their insecurities and the way that they let them rule their lives, but i think i hated them because i’m no better than them and that’s not pleasant to realize.
this book made me face so much internalized misogyny and it reminded me so much of the show “girls” and how that show made me feel about such realistic portrayals of women. it’s uncomfortable to read how insufferable we can be.
this is not a plot driven book, this is a book about women struggling and finding themselves in a little blip of their lives, and i debated giving it less stars but that seems unfair considering i can’t shut the fuck up about it.
this is a good book. i’m happy for them.
August 8, 2022
the sally rooney-ism of it all
January 1, 2023
DNF. Can't believe I read 120 of this. Very fatphobic for the sake of being relatable but I could not relate to these image-obsessed women who are very pathetic toward men, I felt like they were in high school and not in their 30's. We meet three women, one who is average sized (but still probably on the thinner side), one skinny, and one drop-dead gorgeous Instagram model type and they all hate themselves. And while I don't need ra-ra body positivity radiating on every page, I can have insecure women who have problems with their weight if done well, this was all just so overt and obvious and one-track that it couldn't be saved. I mean the first line of the whole book is: "Let me tell you something about my stomach. It's big and I hate it." And even if it ends with a I'm-not-perfect-but-I-like-my-life-now spin, it doesn't erase the dangerous and unnecessary rhetoric women Casale had women ingesting for the last 330 pages in the attempts at relatable millennial fiction.
July 5, 2024
I HATED this book.
Casale basically follows three women (all straight, all white, all fairly financially privileged) and their experience with men in their early thirties. It tries to have this whole "men suck" attitude, but still finds a way to create the most one-dimensional, sickening female characters that have no self-esteem or personality other than their relationships with men. This book also 100% doesn't pass the Bechdel test but is still supposed to relate to the general female population.
All of the men in this book were completely terrible people. It got to the point they were almost unbelievable; I would often be taken out of the story thinking, "ok, this would never actually happen." I'm too lazy to go through the entire book to find the exact quote, but I remember the book saying something like "there are very few good men in the world which is why so many women settle for less than they’re worth." One of the other secondary characters is also married to a man who, according to one of the women narrators, isn't funny or particularly interesting. Though the wife seems to be perfectly happy, all the narrator does is judge and berate her (not the husband) for the marriage because she thinks that her friend has "settled".
We're also supposed to feel like the low self-esteem all three of the women are dealing with is a feminist issue. Joy, at one point, considers quitting her job because she feels like she needs to care for her male roommate who, you guessed it, she's in love with.
The author makes so many generalizations about women and their lives in this book that it just made me angry. Consider the following which was written as one of the characters last sentances (this is supposed to be her little final, conclusive, prance off into the sunset moment): "Actually, I haven't met one straight woman yet who hasn't gotten self worth from having a man in her life." This coming from a character who spent the entirety of the book in an unhappy relationship (that she leaves but then glorifies but then blames herself for?). Also, guess how she ends the book. Take one guess. Yup, in another relationship.
ALSO. Multiple characters describe Theo as having salt-and-pepper hair MULTIPLE times. Like over and over and over again. I don’t know what that means and I don’t like it.
Casale basically follows three women (all straight, all white, all fairly financially privileged) and their experience with men in their early thirties. It tries to have this whole "men suck" attitude, but still finds a way to create the most one-dimensional, sickening female characters that have no self-esteem or personality other than their relationships with men. This book also 100% doesn't pass the Bechdel test but is still supposed to relate to the general female population.
All of the men in this book were completely terrible people. It got to the point they were almost unbelievable; I would often be taken out of the story thinking, "ok, this would never actually happen." I'm too lazy to go through the entire book to find the exact quote, but I remember the book saying something like "there are very few good men in the world which is why so many women settle for less than they’re worth." One of the other secondary characters is also married to a man who, according to one of the women narrators, isn't funny or particularly interesting. Though the wife seems to be perfectly happy, all the narrator does is judge and berate her (not the husband) for the marriage because she thinks that her friend has "settled".
We're also supposed to feel like the low self-esteem all three of the women are dealing with is a feminist issue. Joy, at one point, considers quitting her job because she feels like she needs to care for her male roommate who, you guessed it, she's in love with.
The author makes so many generalizations about women and their lives in this book that it just made me angry. Consider the following which was written as one of the characters last sentances (this is supposed to be her little final, conclusive, prance off into the sunset moment): "Actually, I haven't met one straight woman yet who hasn't gotten self worth from having a man in her life." This coming from a character who spent the entirety of the book in an unhappy relationship (that she leaves but then glorifies but then blames herself for?). Also, guess how she ends the book. Take one guess. Yup, in another relationship.
ALSO. Multiple characters describe Theo as having salt-and-pepper hair MULTIPLE times. Like over and over and over again. I don’t know what that means and I don’t like it.
April 12, 2022
3 stars
ARC provided by Random House Publishing Group—The Dial Press. This will be published August 2nd, 2022!
Joy, Annie, and Celine are all mid 20's, early 30's ladies trying to figure out themselves and their lives. All having their respective faults and insecurities—this book took relatable discomfort and ran with it. I found this difficult to read because of how much I relate to the subjects within... it gave me vivid flashbacks where all I could do was cringe for my past self. It put me through all of the emotions from happy to sad, depression to longing, and especially anger. It's like looking into the heads of women struggling in this current world dynamic.
ARC provided by Random House Publishing Group—The Dial Press. This will be published August 2nd, 2022!
Joy, Annie, and Celine are all mid 20's, early 30's ladies trying to figure out themselves and their lives. All having their respective faults and insecurities—this book took relatable discomfort and ran with it. I found this difficult to read because of how much I relate to the subjects within... it gave me vivid flashbacks where all I could do was cringe for my past self. It put me through all of the emotions from happy to sad, depression to longing, and especially anger. It's like looking into the heads of women struggling in this current world dynamic.
January 21, 2023
I was given a free ARC from the publisher through Netgally in exchange for my honest review.
Joy, Annie and Celine are three woman all experiencing life and love in their 30s. This book jumps between the perspectives of each woman. The characters and the issues they face are very real, their stories are relatable, and they all grow a lot by the end of the novel.
I actually started reading this right before my own life went into turmoil. I started out liking the book, then it lulled for a long time and I almost gave up on it multiple times. I'm glad I stuck it out though because I absolutely loved the end of the book. I was sitting at about 2 stars until about the last 10-15% of the book which I enjoyed so much that it bumped my rating up to 3.5 stars.
Joy, Annie and Celine are three woman all experiencing life and love in their 30s. This book jumps between the perspectives of each woman. The characters and the issues they face are very real, their stories are relatable, and they all grow a lot by the end of the novel.
I actually started reading this right before my own life went into turmoil. I started out liking the book, then it lulled for a long time and I almost gave up on it multiple times. I'm glad I stuck it out though because I absolutely loved the end of the book. I was sitting at about 2 stars until about the last 10-15% of the book which I enjoyed so much that it bumped my rating up to 3.5 stars.
September 15, 2022
4/5 - I loved all three women this story follows. Each one is flailing through their early thirties and are all involved or infatuated with alarmingly unremarkable men. While funny at times, this story really captured what it is like to be a woman who doesn’t know her worth, and I loved every moment of it. It also perfectly portrayed all my favorite themes of female friendship and late coming of age.
Thank you very much Random House for the gifted copy.
Thank you very much Random House for the gifted copy.
August 3, 2022
5 stars
LIKES:
📝 relatable, intimate, insightful, witty writing
👥 multi-pov (Joy, Annie, Celine & Anonymous)
🏃♀️character-driven
📱 social commentary on modern love & dating
🚺 examines the female experience
👭 + female friendships
🫀 + complex love stories
👄 + the impact of society’s emphasis on beauty
👩💼 + women in business
🌱 themes of personal growth
🪞 reflective
🥺 emotional
🎧 great on audio!
•
DISCLAIMERS:
⚠️ dm me for TW
😣 borderline uncomfortable (yet so relatable) as it reflects the most raw, private, & harmful thoughts women have about themselves
🔗 connected with some characters more than others
•
VERDICT: an incisive, personal yet intensely relatable look at the experiences of millennial women in life & love - read if you want to reflect on modern womanhood (& feel all the feels!) - would make a GREAT bookclub pick!
Instagram link: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cgw1Mtprf...
LIKES:
📝 relatable, intimate, insightful, witty writing
👥 multi-pov (Joy, Annie, Celine & Anonymous)
🏃♀️character-driven
📱 social commentary on modern love & dating
🚺 examines the female experience
👭 + female friendships
🫀 + complex love stories
👄 + the impact of society’s emphasis on beauty
👩💼 + women in business
🌱 themes of personal growth
🪞 reflective
🥺 emotional
🎧 great on audio!
•
DISCLAIMERS:
⚠️ dm me for TW
😣 borderline uncomfortable (yet so relatable) as it reflects the most raw, private, & harmful thoughts women have about themselves
🔗 connected with some characters more than others
•
VERDICT: an incisive, personal yet intensely relatable look at the experiences of millennial women in life & love - read if you want to reflect on modern womanhood (& feel all the feels!) - would make a GREAT bookclub pick!
Instagram link: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cgw1Mtprf...
January 17, 2023
rtc / 3.5 stars
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this book was sold to me as "a must-read novel for fans of Sally Rooney, Torrey Peters, and Emma Cline", so obviously, i slam the "to read" button.
thank you to netgalley for the arc!
----------
this book was sold to me as "a must-read novel for fans of Sally Rooney, Torrey Peters, and Emma Cline", so obviously, i slam the "to read" button.
thank you to netgalley for the arc!
September 10, 2022
pretty much no plot and all vibes but i was vibing
October 14, 2022
Hater mode ON‼️ these characters were literally insufferable. What shallow drivel… sounded like a 2015 magazine spread about feminism. Brought nothing original to the table on any of the topics it covered, sentences were badly written, characters who had zero self worth at the beginning gained zero self worth throughout the course of the story… why?
1.5 stars
1.5 stars
November 27, 2025
You can’t pay me enough to be in any of their situations. Yeesh.
December 13, 2022
i want the time i spent reading this book back.
edit: i've seen a lot of reviews for this book say "look up trigger warnings" but no one has actually bothered to list out the trigger warnings so... here are some of the ones i picked up on
edit: i've seen a lot of reviews for this book say "look up trigger warnings" but no one has actually bothered to list out the trigger warnings so... here are some of the ones i picked up on
August 9, 2022
I read How to Fall Out of Love Madly over a month ago and I’ve been dying to sit down and write a review about it, but life got busy. Here I am, a week past publishing date, ready to review.
I inhaled this book, it’s exactly the type of contemporary writing that I love. If you’ve heard of this novel, I’m sure you’ve seen it compared to the works of Sally Rooney. The comparisons to Rooney come from a well-intentioned place, but they’re only partially right. Both of the authors are brilliant, and Jana Casale writes with a similar honesty and perceptiveness that Rooney is known for. Casale’s characters are a bit more touchable, though. This is not a dig at Sally Rooney, because she’s one of my favorite authors, but I felt like Casale’s character could be some of my own friends. Though she writes with that realistic worldview that can veer into the melancholy––if only for being frankly honest–– I still found that her writing had a more hopeful tone to it altogether.
“People could tell you whatever politically correct garbage they wanted to, but youth meant something in this world and it especially meant something for a woman. What would life be to leave sexiness behind? To no longer be the age that mattered? Movies were about young people. Songs were about young people. Sex was about young people. All of it was slipping away. She’d been blindsided by this feeling. In her twenties, she never gave aging a thought, but now that she was thirty, she had a hard time placing herself.”
How to Fall Out of Love Madly embodies womanhood and all that it entails; the pining, the crushing emotion of unrequited love, the sexual harassment and assaults, the unrelenting fixation on weight and body image, the sisterhood of friendship. The traumatizing moments and the empowering moments that just come with the territory of being a woman. Jana Casale made me think about it so much. She made me think of the moments when we put our own interests before our friends and the moments when we put their interests before our own. She made me think of the times when someone has said something little about my appearance or personality that have stuck with me forever; the half-truths and lies told that you’re only too willing to believe.
She also made me proud of the women that stand up for others. The ones who decide that they’ve had enough of the men around them getting away with inappropriate touches or comments. She made me think about all that we suffer silently. Sexual assaults that seem easier to just let go, because they’re ‘not a big deal,’ even though they’re a violation of your body all the same. It’s a conditioning so deeply ingrained.
“I had taken the incident on as a little piece of shame that I tucked away and carried around, and that was it; never did I left the burden fall on anyone else’s shoulders but my own. In college, a guy at a party grabbed my butt as I walked past him. He said something to me like, “Hey, gorgeous.” I just kept walking around and didn’t acknowledge it. I wanted to turn around and say, “Fuck you,” but my instinct was to just leave the party as soon as possible, so I did.”
This whole novel resonated with me. I think it will resonate with many women. I felt for Joy, a self conscious and chronic people pleaser, in love with a man who was only too happy to use her for an emotional relationship while having a sexual relationship with another. I felt for Annie, finding out that the boss who has always been kind to her has been preying on women at the office, while dating a man who is never supportive when she needs him. I felt for Celine, praised for her beauty and overlooked for any other qualities, dating the ‘nice’ man because she feels it’s the right thing to do. I understood the way Annie and Joy were able to see what would be the best thing for one another and to recognize unhealthy patterns in the other, but not be able to do the same thing for themselves.
“And then I shut the hell up because I realized something: my body was defining my life and her body was defining her life, and it was reckless and absurd of me to pretend we were living the same life.”
The prose is lovely and Casale is meticulous in the way she writes. She writes profoundly, clearly and perfectly expressing herself. She dives into our deepest thoughts and pulls them to the surface, laying them out for the world to see. I admire the writers who are brave enough to do this. I think it takes a valiant person to be able to write in a way that bares the thoughts and concepts that the rest of us keep hidden or struggle to place into words. Raw, intoxicating, and impactful. How to Fall Out of Love Madly is such a gift from Casale to the world. Thank you to Random House/The Dial Press for the advanced copy!
I inhaled this book, it’s exactly the type of contemporary writing that I love. If you’ve heard of this novel, I’m sure you’ve seen it compared to the works of Sally Rooney. The comparisons to Rooney come from a well-intentioned place, but they’re only partially right. Both of the authors are brilliant, and Jana Casale writes with a similar honesty and perceptiveness that Rooney is known for. Casale’s characters are a bit more touchable, though. This is not a dig at Sally Rooney, because she’s one of my favorite authors, but I felt like Casale’s character could be some of my own friends. Though she writes with that realistic worldview that can veer into the melancholy––if only for being frankly honest–– I still found that her writing had a more hopeful tone to it altogether.
“People could tell you whatever politically correct garbage they wanted to, but youth meant something in this world and it especially meant something for a woman. What would life be to leave sexiness behind? To no longer be the age that mattered? Movies were about young people. Songs were about young people. Sex was about young people. All of it was slipping away. She’d been blindsided by this feeling. In her twenties, she never gave aging a thought, but now that she was thirty, she had a hard time placing herself.”
How to Fall Out of Love Madly embodies womanhood and all that it entails; the pining, the crushing emotion of unrequited love, the sexual harassment and assaults, the unrelenting fixation on weight and body image, the sisterhood of friendship. The traumatizing moments and the empowering moments that just come with the territory of being a woman. Jana Casale made me think about it so much. She made me think of the moments when we put our own interests before our friends and the moments when we put their interests before our own. She made me think of the times when someone has said something little about my appearance or personality that have stuck with me forever; the half-truths and lies told that you’re only too willing to believe.
She also made me proud of the women that stand up for others. The ones who decide that they’ve had enough of the men around them getting away with inappropriate touches or comments. She made me think about all that we suffer silently. Sexual assaults that seem easier to just let go, because they’re ‘not a big deal,’ even though they’re a violation of your body all the same. It’s a conditioning so deeply ingrained.
“I had taken the incident on as a little piece of shame that I tucked away and carried around, and that was it; never did I left the burden fall on anyone else’s shoulders but my own. In college, a guy at a party grabbed my butt as I walked past him. He said something to me like, “Hey, gorgeous.” I just kept walking around and didn’t acknowledge it. I wanted to turn around and say, “Fuck you,” but my instinct was to just leave the party as soon as possible, so I did.”
This whole novel resonated with me. I think it will resonate with many women. I felt for Joy, a self conscious and chronic people pleaser, in love with a man who was only too happy to use her for an emotional relationship while having a sexual relationship with another. I felt for Annie, finding out that the boss who has always been kind to her has been preying on women at the office, while dating a man who is never supportive when she needs him. I felt for Celine, praised for her beauty and overlooked for any other qualities, dating the ‘nice’ man because she feels it’s the right thing to do. I understood the way Annie and Joy were able to see what would be the best thing for one another and to recognize unhealthy patterns in the other, but not be able to do the same thing for themselves.
“And then I shut the hell up because I realized something: my body was defining my life and her body was defining her life, and it was reckless and absurd of me to pretend we were living the same life.”
The prose is lovely and Casale is meticulous in the way she writes. She writes profoundly, clearly and perfectly expressing herself. She dives into our deepest thoughts and pulls them to the surface, laying them out for the world to see. I admire the writers who are brave enough to do this. I think it takes a valiant person to be able to write in a way that bares the thoughts and concepts that the rest of us keep hidden or struggle to place into words. Raw, intoxicating, and impactful. How to Fall Out of Love Madly is such a gift from Casale to the world. Thank you to Random House/The Dial Press for the advanced copy!
August 12, 2025
I remember really loving this book. This was back when I lived in New York for about a year, and I was so isolated because I didn’t know anybody that I decided to pick up this book. I honestly don’t remember much about it, since it’s been about 2 years and it wasn’t really a significant part of my 2023 year, but I just remember laying in my little barracks room by myself and making fun of everyone in this book. Fun times!
March 7, 2023
I normally do not write book reviews, but I cannot stop myself here. I do not have words for the anger that filled me reading this book. It felt like a three hundred page anthology, not about how to fall out of love madly, but a guide for young women on how to hate yourself in the name of a bad relationship- because even if you know it’s wrong that’s the only way you’ll ever feel true validation in your life. That was the message of this book. Each character has ONE chapter at the end of the book, ONLY ONE where they have any semblance of a spine in their own relationships, and even those chapters make concessions to their self worth and their ability to be happy outside of a relationship. I’m sure Casale’s hope with this book was to bring attention to double standards and the image issues women deal with every day, but all I can think is that if I had read this book at ten, I would have had a hundred new things to criticize in myself by the end.
January 22, 2022
I know it’s only January and I know this is only my 6th book of the year and I know I will read many, many more in the coming months, but I also know that no matter how many I read, this one will be among my favorites!
This book is simply incredible. I cried and laughed (until I cried). I cringed and felt sadness and happiness and hope and despair. I was angry and indignant and often ready to scream. It felt so relatable and insightful.
This is a book for every woman, no matter the age - and every man as this is an education and sermon we all need equally.
This book is simply incredible. I cried and laughed (until I cried). I cringed and felt sadness and happiness and hope and despair. I was angry and indignant and often ready to scream. It felt so relatable and insightful.
This is a book for every woman, no matter the age - and every man as this is an education and sermon we all need equally.
January 4, 2023
4.5 maybe? Man did this make my heart hurt
March 8, 2023
I found this very lack luster…. And just because it’s about three thirty-something women, does not warrant the comparisons to Fleabag or Rooney it’s been getting. I found the ‘feminism’ dated, the characters dull, and just generally this didn’t seem to have anything new or interesting to say. It’s a shame, because the reverse love story idea is a good one….
May 12, 2022
Much of this book is very relatable. Joy and Annie are close friends and roommates who are around 30. Annie has a bad boyfriend that she insists is great. Joy is single and depressed about it, she is starting to feel that being fat means she will not be loved. When they rent out the third bedroom in their apartment to handsome, flirtatious Theo everything gets complicated.
This is readable and relatable, it is not a romance, and you have to be able to relate to these women for the book to work for you. If you don't really get them, it will only be frustrating. I would have liked more about friendship, more about finding yourself, it seems like we have just scratched the surface here and there was a lot more we could have dived into.
The problem I had with this book is that it just takes so long for Annie and Joy to start making good choices. I understand their bad choices but I just kept cringing for them. I think this has more to do with me being (thankfully) several years out from these kinds of bad choices, but I just wanted to take these two girls aside and give them some good advice.
There is a subplot involving sexual harassment and misconduct in the workplace, FYI.
The other thing that didn't really work for me was Celine, the third character, who has a lot less time on the page and whose whole purpose is supposed to be to show us that a woman who looks Instagram-perfect can also not be happy. She was not very well developed and seemed to serve only as a foil to show us how self-obsessed Joy was and how the beauty she wished she had was not all it cracked up to be.
This is readable and relatable, it is not a romance, and you have to be able to relate to these women for the book to work for you. If you don't really get them, it will only be frustrating. I would have liked more about friendship, more about finding yourself, it seems like we have just scratched the surface here and there was a lot more we could have dived into.
The problem I had with this book is that it just takes so long for Annie and Joy to start making good choices. I understand their bad choices but I just kept cringing for them. I think this has more to do with me being (thankfully) several years out from these kinds of bad choices, but I just wanted to take these two girls aside and give them some good advice.
There is a subplot involving sexual harassment and misconduct in the workplace, FYI.
The other thing that didn't really work for me was Celine, the third character, who has a lot less time on the page and whose whole purpose is supposed to be to show us that a woman who looks Instagram-perfect can also not be happy. She was not very well developed and seemed to serve only as a foil to show us how self-obsessed Joy was and how the beauty she wished she had was not all it cracked up to be.
July 13, 2023
Jana Casale's second book, How to Fall Out of Love Madly, revolves around the interconnected lives of Joy, Annie, and Celine as they navigate the challenges of love. Casale adeptly portrays the complexities of relationships and the toll they take on individuals. Joy's obsessive love for Theo and Annie’s love for her insensitive boyfriend provide poignant explorations of the lengths people go to hold onto love.
While the characters are relatable, I longed for more profound development and a stronger connection to their journeys. Unfortunately, the resolution feels incomplete as the characters indulge in self-pity instead of owning power. Despite these flaws, Casale's engaging writing style and examination of women's relationships make this a thought-provoking read for those interested in the intricacies of love and empowerment.
Read the detailed review here - Books Charming
While the characters are relatable, I longed for more profound development and a stronger connection to their journeys. Unfortunately, the resolution feels incomplete as the characters indulge in self-pity instead of owning power. Despite these flaws, Casale's engaging writing style and examination of women's relationships make this a thought-provoking read for those interested in the intricacies of love and empowerment.
Read the detailed review here - Books Charming
August 19, 2022
A book about three very different women, and somehow I see myself in each of them. Casale did an incredible job of putting words to emotions and thoughts I’ve never known how to express. Honestly this book was healing, in a way, to read.
March 21, 2023
Told from the perspective of Joy, Annie and Celine- millennial women working and living in a city.
Joy and Annie are friends and roommate but still unable to cover their rent, they get third roommate and in walks Theo who charms them. After months of hinting Annie’s boyfriend finally ask her to move in so the trio now becomes a duo, but Joy doesn’t mind because now she’s got Theo to herself. They spend a lot of time together and Joy ends up falling for him, only for him to show up a few weeks later with a girlfriend. Joy is confused but figures if she puts her best foot forward he will miraculously fall for her. Meanwhile, Theo's girlfriend Celine has been told all her life she is stunning but doesn’t really believe it. When Annie moves in with her boyfriend, she thinks this is what she wants but finds herself putting on this “easy breezy cool girlfriend” act that she may not be able to keep up. She wants commitment, but does she want it from her boyfriend?
I have been seeing a ton of people saying that if you like Sally Rooney's style of writing then you will like this one. I have to agree because I did not enjoy either. Multiple times I thought about not finishing this and I wish I would have, it just wasn't for me. The characters are annoying and insecure and overall I just thought it was a really depressing book to read. I can definitely see how this book could be relatable just not my cup of tea.
Joy and Annie are friends and roommate but still unable to cover their rent, they get third roommate and in walks Theo who charms them. After months of hinting Annie’s boyfriend finally ask her to move in so the trio now becomes a duo, but Joy doesn’t mind because now she’s got Theo to herself. They spend a lot of time together and Joy ends up falling for him, only for him to show up a few weeks later with a girlfriend. Joy is confused but figures if she puts her best foot forward he will miraculously fall for her. Meanwhile, Theo's girlfriend Celine has been told all her life she is stunning but doesn’t really believe it. When Annie moves in with her boyfriend, she thinks this is what she wants but finds herself putting on this “easy breezy cool girlfriend” act that she may not be able to keep up. She wants commitment, but does she want it from her boyfriend?
I have been seeing a ton of people saying that if you like Sally Rooney's style of writing then you will like this one. I have to agree because I did not enjoy either. Multiple times I thought about not finishing this and I wish I would have, it just wasn't for me. The characters are annoying and insecure and overall I just thought it was a really depressing book to read. I can definitely see how this book could be relatable just not my cup of tea.
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